Dan Parker is joined by Joe 'The Pro' Ferguson to run through the 9 things you should NEVER DO on a golf course! When you're playing golf, there are certain things you should really try and avoid at all costs to ensure you're not holding up play or annoying the groups playing behind you! Enjoy these irreverent, tongue-in-cheek recreations and some highly questionable acting skills...
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00:00Right then Joe, we know there's lots of written rules in golf that people adhere to, but there's
00:03lots of unwritten etiquette rules I think we've seen broken quite a lot of times. You're right,
00:08there's a lot of faux pas, even golfing crimes I would consider committed out on a golf course
00:13sometimes. Yeah so we put our heads together and came up with nine that we think are the biggest
00:17and the most often committed. Yes and we've acted them out. We have, I'm playing the sort of well
00:22educated good etiquette golfer and you're playing num nuts. I'm playing a buffoon, you're absolutely
00:28right but if you're watching BAFTA, call us. In no particular order Joe, we're starting with
00:35talking during someone's backswing or even talking during someone's setup. Yeah it's just a little
00:40bit inconsiderate and it's funny with golf because sometimes you get constant noise so you might hear
00:44it now actually we've got greenkeepers mowing, we went to live the other day there was music playing,
00:48when that happens it's not a problem but you're playing silence most of the time and all of a sudden
00:52if that silence is just interrupted with a whisper or something it is brutal. Don't do it, don't do it,
00:57don't try not to whisper to your playing partner, definitely don't pick up the phone,
01:00numb nuts and just try and keep quiet during the swing.
01:06Next one we've got and this is one of my particular bugbears, leaving a bunker unraked. It's one of
01:10the most inconsiderate things you can do on the golf course, you tell me why. This is just impolite,
01:14it's impolite to your playing partners, to people coming behind you who may end up in it, to the green
01:19keepers who look so studiously after the bunkers for you and it's just a mess. It affects people's games
01:25and it's basic decency and common sense. And bunkers are hard enough and a decent lie without
01:30being in someone's footprint. Rake your bunkers please.
01:36Next up Joe, not shouting four as your ball heads toward what might be people, houses, who knows,
01:41just shout four. Yeah, just shout four. It's not only inconsiderate, it is downright dangerous. These
01:46little golf balls at the speed they're travelling are like bullets. We've seen some really serious
01:50incidents on the pj tour of people getting hurt and some of the players who don't shout on the pj
01:55tour bother me. Don't be one of those if you see your ball heading down the wrong fairway or heading
01:59to anyone on the golf course, give them a nice loud shout four and warn them. And even if you don't,
02:03if it's off target, give it a big shout. You're covered then, just in case. Always shout four.
02:12Right, for the next one we're here on the putting green and I think just about everyone who's ever
02:15played should know, but I've played with some who don't, you should never walk over someone's line
02:21when they're putting. Yeah, because if you've got big feet like you or particularly big spikes on
02:25and you walk on someone's line, it could affect their putt, couldn't it? Correct. It's rude, again,
02:29inconsiderate. So when you're doing it, just watch out for people's lines, maybe even ask am I okay to
02:34stand there. It's okay to ask these sort of things and don't ruin someone's putt. You can stop it from
02:38going in the hole. Furthermore, through lines. Do you ever think about through lines? What's a through line?
02:42Through line is a lot of stuff that's spoken about on tour. If you're putting from there and you're
02:46coming this way and I go and collect my ball out the hole this way, if someone misses the putt from
02:50there and then has to putt through the spikes, it's always better to think about someone's
02:53through line as well. Just give that some thought. Hey, that's why we pay you the big bucks.
03:00Next up, Joe, assuming a putt is given in match play, I have fallen foul of this. Yeah,
03:05it's tricky ground though, isn't it? You know when you've got it into gimme range and you know it's
03:08probably going to be conceded. You have to wait to hear that. If you don't and you just pick your
03:13ball up assuming it's been conceded, if you're playing against someone particularly vindictive,
03:19they can claim the hole. Loss of hole, you pick the ball up, you're out the hole and you're done.
03:24That's it and my circle of friendship is very, very small. So I've heard.
03:30The next golfing crime I want to talk about is leaving your bag on the wrong side of the green
03:36and general time waiting on the green. General faffing, bumbling, faffage, bumbling,
03:42as you might be watching right now, my bumbling. It's just not good for pace of play. It's not good
03:46for your game. It's not good for anyone's game around you. What can you do to sort that out?
03:50Well, if you've got people behind you, that's very annoying. Just think, right, as you get to the green,
03:54where's the next tee? Let me leave my bag in a position between the flag and the tee. So when I'm done,
03:58I pick my ball out, I wander over to my bag, which is en route to the tee, do your scorecard over there,
04:04the people behind you, can play and they're not falling asleep, sat on their bags.
04:07It's considerate to everyone else and it'll actually be beneficial for your game because
04:10you'll take less steps and you'll be less tired. Plan it well, play quickly and play well.
04:18Next up, Joe, less of a crime than some of them, but something I think you should avoid doing is
04:21early walking a putt that you think is going in, you're giving it the big I am and then it doesn't
04:25go in. It's a bad look, isn't it? Actually, we played golf recently with a friend of yours,
04:28shout out, Reece. Hello. And I was early walking a couple and they went in
04:31and he still said that was a bad look. He's right though, I think he's right.
04:34He is right, but it's a particularly bad look when they miss as well. Yeah.
04:38Another thing that you don't want to do, if you're the guy on the other side of the hole,
04:41early celebrating someone else's putt and calling it before it goes in,
04:44that can backfire a lot and isn't a good look. If someone says to me like, oh, great putt or,
04:48oh, that's in, oh, that's pure and it doesn't go in or really early and it doesn't go in,
04:52I'm like, do not stop talking to my golf balls. Do you think it's affected your ball?
04:56Absolutely. Of course it does, it has to. Just don't talk to my golf balls, don't talk to your
05:00playing partner's golf balls and don't early walk that putt. Just wait for it to go in.
05:08Recent rule changes have affected this next one I'm going to mention. So you used to have five
05:11minutes to find your ball, now you've only got three. So it's become more imperative than ever
05:16not to assume you're just going to find your golf ball once you've hit it into the rubbish, isn't it?
05:19Yeah. I see people playing on somewhere they know really well where they play every week and they're
05:22like, that's fine over there. I know that. I know that bit. I've been there all the time and it might
05:26take a different bounce, it might have hit something. You might not find it. If you don't
05:30then find it, you've got to trawl your way back to the tee, you're taking penalty shots,
05:33you're taking up more time. So just always hit a provisional if you lose sight of the ball or even
05:39if you have a hint of doubt that you might not find it. The 10 seconds it takes to hit a provisional
05:43could save you 10 minutes of traipsing back and holding everyone up. And you get another swing,
05:47another shot, get that bad, get that bad shot out of your head. That's a little sort of bonus to it.
05:51But yeah, always hit a provisional, speed things up and that's that's that's that.
05:59Lastly, Joe, this falls into the category of early chirping a putt or talking to someone's
06:04golf ball is letting them know they've got a good score going. Well, you're playing well,
06:07aren't you, mate? It's horrible. Yeah, it's just wrong on so many levels. If I'm playing well and
06:12I'm on for a really good score, trust me, I know. I don't need you to tell me, I know. And I'm already
06:19worried about it. So I don't need the additional pressure. Keep it to yourself. Admire quietly and
06:25let them get on with it. You can talk about it after the round. Yeah, you know what I mean?
06:28Absolutely. Just focus on your own gosh darn game and we can talk about how well I've played
06:33later. So yeah, no, none of that sort of, well, you'll do it all right, aren't you, mate?
06:36Yeah, absolutely not. That's not bad, Joe. It's a nice little list of things to not
06:40do on the golf course. Take it on board. We want to hear if you've got any that we may have missed out,
06:45which of the ones that we mentioned is the most biggest crime, would have the biggest sentence
06:50in this sort of golf jail, golf court. Wow, you're taking it there. Yeah, I have taken it there.
06:55Let us know any others that we've missed out. Hope you enjoyed this video,
06:57our acting. Well done, numbnuts. Yes, thank you very much. Thank you very much. See you next time.