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00:00:30How to explain them things that nobody knows

00:00:34People these days they play and act like they know

00:00:38A nobody that even knew women

00:00:40Nobody knows

00:00:42Who are you to tell me what's new and what's not

00:00:45What's happening now and what you've got

00:00:47This here real life I'm a two-box

00:00:50Been around the back and got the block unlocked

00:00:51Stop, don't want to hear another word

00:00:54Show me the money or your gifts to burn

00:00:56The second is when I promise you the world

00:00:58I'll make you a stormer like Magma Earl

00:01:00Holler back when the contract's right

00:01:02You better best believe I'm looking out for mine

00:01:04I'm feeding on stage of wine

00:01:07Struggles of a naughty pace often times

00:01:09Cause nobody knows what the future holds

00:01:11Nobody knows anything till it goes

00:01:13And takes off to the next level of the game

00:01:15Until then you don't know a damn thing

00:01:18Sometimes in my best questions

00:01:20Nobody knows

00:01:21I need to grab them in the first minute

00:01:27Behind these walls lay the broken dreams of men

00:01:31Who are now confined

00:01:32Nah, too depressing

00:01:35Fade in

00:01:36On a tree-lined street

00:01:38Two good-looking, attractive guys

00:01:40Are good-looking, attractive?

00:01:43That's the same thing

00:01:44Why not tall, unshort guys?

00:01:48Nah

00:01:49Give them something they've never seen before

00:01:55Edgy

00:01:56Ow

00:01:57Different

00:01:58Ow

00:02:00It's the action-packed true story

00:02:06Of how the search for the American dream

00:02:09Goes dangerously awry

00:02:11I have one dream on rye

00:02:13With a pickle to go

00:02:14Hmm, not bad

00:02:16Gotta grab them in the first minute

00:02:19Hmm

00:02:20Maybe a little sex

00:02:22Nah, too obvious

00:02:26Cosmo says red is the power color for women

00:02:33But it makes me look like a fire truck

00:02:36Hollywood

00:02:38That's me

00:02:40Sarah Wilder

00:02:42I just graduated from film school

00:02:44And now I'm in the real world

00:02:45Well, L.A.

00:02:47Which may be real or unreal

00:02:49Depending on who you are

00:02:50Fortunately, I know a real person

00:02:53My Uncle Lou

00:02:54Who was once a big-time Hollywood writer

00:02:56Yeah, it's open

00:03:00Yeah

00:03:00So, uh, how did I do yesterday?

00:03:03Oh, good, good

00:03:04Oh, Phil, I'll talk to you later

00:03:06Bye

00:03:06So

00:03:09Sarah Wilder

00:03:14Your niece

00:03:15I know that

00:03:15Sit down

00:03:16For me

00:03:20Oh, how nice

00:03:22So, uh, what made you want to get into the movie business?

00:03:27Why'd you pick a profession

00:03:28With dignity

00:03:29Like begging

00:03:30Okay, Uncle Lou

00:03:31You're just like Mom

00:03:32You think the movie business is populated with terrible people

00:03:34No, no, no, no, no, believe me, believe me

00:03:36I'm not like your mother

00:03:37But, uh, in this instance, she's right

00:03:39The world is full of terrible people

00:03:40Why not the movie business?

00:03:42So, uh

00:03:42Speaking of which

00:03:45How is your mother?

00:03:47And that mummicks she married?

00:03:49She and Dad are great

00:03:50They're doing the Florida thing

00:03:51You know, get a condo on the beach

00:03:52And play golf

00:03:53And tennis

00:03:54So what's this movie about that you want to make?

00:03:56Jimmy

00:03:56Cousin Jimmy

00:03:57On your father's side?

00:04:00The same

00:04:00But why?

00:04:02He's a bum

00:04:03I know him

00:04:04And like my film teacher always said

00:04:05Film what you know

00:04:07Uh-huh

00:04:09So this story

00:04:10Is all about

00:04:11Jimmy's problems, huh?

00:04:13What audience is going to sit down

00:04:15And watch a movie

00:04:16About a schmuck like that?

00:04:18I don't know

00:04:19He's a sweet guy

00:04:21And I think I want to explore

00:04:23The why of it all

00:04:24The why of it all?

00:04:28Uh-huh

00:04:29You know, I don't understand

00:04:31The movies they're making today

00:04:32Did you, uh

00:04:34Did you see something about Mary?

00:04:35Laugh my ass off

00:04:36Could I make a movie like that?

00:04:37Never

00:04:37Never in a million years

00:04:39I want to tell you something

00:04:41I still know

00:04:43A lot of people

00:04:44In this town

00:04:45I called in

00:04:47A lot of favors

00:04:48I don't know why I'm doing this

00:04:51But I, uh

00:04:54Set up some pitch meetings for you

00:04:55All right

00:04:56Now stay focused

00:04:57And remember

00:04:58Nobody knows anything

00:05:00Today I have my first pitch meeting

00:05:04At a big studio

00:05:05Hello

00:05:07Oh, I can't talk right now

00:05:10No, I'm meeting

00:05:11Connor Fulton at 9.30

00:05:12I'll talk to you later

00:05:13Hello

00:05:16Wait, wait, wait

00:05:25All right

00:05:25Hold on

00:05:25Connor is talking now

00:05:26Okay

00:05:27All right

00:05:27Now listen

00:05:28You are five million dollars

00:05:29Over budget

00:05:30Hold on one second

00:05:31Miss Winston

00:05:32Wilder

00:05:33That's right

00:05:33Hold on

00:05:34Okay

00:05:34Listen

00:05:35You're five million dollars

00:05:35Over budget

00:05:36So either we're going to

00:05:36Stop paying you

00:05:37Or we stop beating

00:05:38The cast and the crew

00:05:39It's your decision

00:05:39So

00:05:42You're new in town

00:05:44And you got a story to tell

00:05:46Well, nobody ever said

00:05:50That Connor Fulton

00:05:50Didn't give New Tao

00:05:51In a break

00:05:52Ain't that right

00:05:52See

00:05:56Everyone knows

00:05:57That's George

00:05:59He's my assistant

00:05:59He's my eyes and my ears

00:06:00You can see the big picture

00:06:02Hi

00:06:04So shoot

00:06:07I got a ten o'clock

00:06:08It's coming in early

00:06:09You got five minutes

00:06:10Any good story

00:06:10Can be told in five minutes

00:06:11Ain't that right

00:06:12See

00:06:14Give me your best shot

00:06:17It's the action-packed

00:06:20True story

00:06:20Of how the search

00:06:21For the American dream

00:06:22Goes ominously awry

00:06:24Kind of like a modern

00:06:32James Dean

00:06:33But during his quest

00:06:35For the American dream

00:06:36Jimmy committed armed robbery

00:06:37A felony

00:06:38But he's my cousin

00:06:40I mean I sat next to him

00:06:41At the kids table

00:06:42At every holiday dinner

00:06:43But what made him do it

00:06:45Here's the twist

00:06:49You see

00:06:50I shot interviews

00:06:51Of every family member

00:06:53And eyewitnesses

00:06:53To the actual crime

00:06:55For a historic docudrama

00:06:57Kind of like reds

00:06:59Kind of like reds

00:06:59But without the communists

00:07:00And we'll cut back to them

00:07:01Ever so often

00:07:02For background

00:07:03And to help uncover

00:07:04Jimmy's motivations

00:07:05The diet pills are working

00:07:08Oh thank you

00:07:09Oh of course they can

00:07:11Are you nervous Beatrice

00:07:12No I'm very relaxed

00:07:14You're going to be wonderful

00:07:14Uncle Sid

00:07:15You're going to be brilliant

00:07:16I like that apathetic thing

00:07:18You've got going on

00:07:18And it's all about glamour

00:07:19Over here isn't it

00:07:20Oh how do I look

00:07:21Wonderful

00:07:21Good I look right in there

00:07:23Absolutely

00:07:23You look really good

00:07:24It's all about cleverness

00:07:26Roll sound

00:07:27Um should I wait

00:07:29For like action

00:07:30Wait until I say

00:07:31Dysfunction

00:07:32Dysfunction

00:07:34Okay

00:07:34Okay good

00:07:35And what do you want me

00:07:36To talk about

00:07:37Tell me about my cousin Jimmy

00:07:39And Uncle Sid

00:07:39You look marvelous

00:07:41Oh

00:07:43Jimmy is our son

00:07:46We love him

00:07:47He's a very good boy

00:07:50A very good boy

00:07:51You know what rotten is

00:07:52He's rotten

00:07:53Rotten of the car

00:07:54Oh but he's a very good boy

00:07:57You know

00:07:57Thank God

00:07:58He's got my genes

00:08:00You know he takes after

00:08:01My side of the family

00:08:03Your side of the family

00:08:04Your side of the family

00:08:06Is crazy

00:08:07You know

00:08:08All this bad stuff with Jimmy

00:08:10It's your fault

00:08:12My fault

00:08:13I ought to sue you

00:08:15I ought to sue you and your family

00:08:17You know that

00:08:17For what

00:08:18Because when I married you

00:08:19They passed you off as sane

00:08:21You're fucking crazy

00:08:23Ow

00:08:23This is good

00:08:25This is good

00:08:27You used fucking properly

00:08:31I have a mother and a father too

00:08:35Most people do

00:08:35That's very identifiable

00:08:37I'm a basket case

00:08:42Until my second day

00:08:43You want to know what he does

00:08:45At the grocery store

00:08:47Jesus Christ

00:08:48He's going to bring up

00:08:49The candy bin thing again

00:08:50He steals little pieces of candy

00:08:53From the candy bin

00:08:54At the grocery store

00:08:55Jimmy must have seen him do it

00:08:57Like father

00:08:59Like son

00:09:00You know

00:09:00Jimmy used to be

00:09:01A very sweet boy

00:09:03My husband here

00:09:05Corrupted him

00:09:06Okay

00:09:06So maybe Jimmy

00:09:08Didn't grow up

00:09:08In the best environment

00:09:09But it's not like

00:09:11He was so different

00:09:11Than any other kid

00:09:12I can't do homework

00:09:14Because they told me

00:09:15To do homework

00:09:15I can't work

00:09:16Under these conditions

00:09:17Right

00:09:19But there was always

00:09:20A constant in Jimmy's life

00:09:21His love

00:09:22No

00:09:23No

00:09:23His obsession for Miranda

00:09:25Even when they were kids

00:09:26Miranda

00:09:27I love you

00:09:28Best thing that ever

00:09:31Happened to Jimmy

00:09:32Was Miranda

00:09:33But even when they were kids

00:09:34It wasn't always roses

00:09:36I told you Jimmy

00:09:37Get the fuck out of here

00:09:38I'm serious

00:09:39By the time they got married

00:09:41She'd been kicking him out

00:09:42For years

00:09:42Just leave

00:09:44See things haven't changed much

00:09:47But unfortunately

00:09:48Every time Jimmy and Miranda fought

00:09:50He'd always go to his best friend

00:09:51For solace

00:09:52For understanding

00:09:53Unfortunately

00:09:54His best friend is virus

00:09:56His partner in crime

00:09:58So to speak

00:09:58A rocket scientist

00:09:59Virus isn't

00:10:00But Jimmy still considered him a friend

00:10:02Don't even ask me why

00:10:04Connor darling

00:10:06The love of my life

00:10:07The vein of my existence

00:10:08Great baby

00:10:09George

00:10:10See any good movies lately

00:10:11So good to see

00:10:13How are you doing?

00:10:15What brings you to the salt mines?

00:10:17It's about Bruce Conradere

00:10:18Who else?

00:10:19Listen

00:10:19I just saw those dailies

00:10:20Marvelous

00:10:21Huh?

00:10:22Huh?

00:10:22That fight inside

00:10:23What is that?

00:10:24Is that a volcano?

00:10:25Of course

00:10:25It's incredible

00:10:26It's incredible

00:10:27It's incredible

00:10:27Did I say that was incredible?

00:10:29I said that

00:10:30I said that

00:10:31I'm so happy you're happy

00:10:32Happy?

00:10:33Happy?

00:10:34I am ecstatic

00:10:35You're alright

00:10:35I am delirious

00:10:36I'm about to lose control

00:10:37Of my bladder

00:10:38I have something else

00:10:41You can piss on then

00:10:42I hope you don't mind

00:10:45Looking at the

00:10:46Request Bruce has

00:10:48What is it?

00:10:48Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

00:10:49Asana

00:10:50In his trailer

00:10:51Wet, not dry

00:10:53Wet, not dry

00:10:54Not dry, George

00:10:54Remind me

00:10:55What's his new standard

00:10:57At $4,000

00:10:58Don't you think Bruce's brother

00:10:59Would be perfect?

00:11:00Okay, what's his driver

00:11:01At $3,000

00:11:02His nephew

00:11:02Personal trainer

00:11:04His cousin

00:11:04Coincidentally

00:11:06You're killing me here

00:11:08This is $14,000 a week

00:11:09Why don't we just rent

00:11:10This whole family

00:11:11You are, Connor, darling

00:11:13You're renting the whole

00:11:14Goddamn family

00:11:15He's on us

00:11:16He's on us

00:11:16It's an $80,000,000 movie

00:11:18They'll need lots of asses

00:11:20In those seas to see profits

00:11:21Bruce can put them there

00:11:22Ciao, George

00:11:24Love what you're wearing

00:11:26Thank you, Craig

00:11:29Thank you

00:11:30Hey, listen

00:11:31You take care, alright

00:11:32Tell Bruce I'll see him

00:11:33At the fight

00:11:33I will

00:11:34Bye-bye, Bobby

00:11:34Is this a fucking business

00:11:38Or what?

00:11:41Would they run

00:11:41General Electric like this?

00:11:43No, no

00:11:43You're damn right

00:11:44They would

00:11:44Give me Jack Brown

00:11:45I'm sorry about this

00:11:47They said he went to

00:11:48An early lunch

00:11:49Oh, Christ

00:11:50It's 10.45 in the morning

00:11:52Give me the other producer

00:11:55On his film

00:11:55Bruce's film

00:11:56Whatever his name is

00:11:57I don't know

00:11:57Call him

00:11:58It is a crazy business

00:12:01It is crazy

00:12:03I tell you that

00:12:03Stars that make

00:12:05$14,000,000 a picture

00:12:07And then they nickel and dime you

00:12:08For every perk

00:12:09They can think of

00:12:10Producers go to a

00:12:1210.45 lunch

00:12:13Shit

00:12:13I mean, most producers

00:12:14Don't even come in

00:12:15Till 11 o'clock, huh?

00:12:17Am I right?

00:12:18What?

00:12:18Rich Schwartz on two

00:12:19Connor Fulton here

00:12:25Hi

00:12:26I want you to

00:12:27Measure Bruce's trailer

00:12:28For a sauna

00:12:29And then I want you

00:12:30To tell him every day

00:12:31That it is being

00:12:32Specially made

00:12:33I want you to

00:12:34Tell him we're having

00:12:35Trouble getting a green card

00:12:36For his French chef

00:12:37I want you to

00:12:38Bullshit him about

00:12:38His stand-in

00:12:39I want you to

00:12:39Bullshit him about

00:12:40His driver

00:12:40I want you to

00:12:41Bullshit him about

00:12:41His trainer

00:12:42Tell him

00:12:43Teamsters

00:12:45Tell him

00:12:45Tell him we're having

00:12:46Problem with the teamsters

00:12:47They want their men in place

00:12:48And if he has a problem

00:12:49With that

00:12:49Then his family's

00:12:50Going to be sleeping

00:12:51With the fishes

00:12:51Okay

00:12:51And then you tell him

00:12:52To go to hell

00:12:53Where were we?

00:13:07What Jimmy and Virus needed

00:13:08Was a direction

00:13:09A goal

00:13:10Get a job

00:13:11Get a job

00:13:12Why don't you get a job?

00:13:13I'd like to get a job

00:13:13Why don't you get a job?

00:13:15I can't

00:13:15See?

00:13:17Because she told me to

00:13:17And then if I get a job

00:13:18It's because she told me to

00:13:20And I can't work

00:13:20Under those conditions

00:13:21Remember

00:13:22When Jimmy was a kid

00:13:23He didn't like taking orders

00:13:25He's no different now

00:13:26Hey fellas

00:13:27Let's go

00:13:27Huh?

00:13:28We got a house to paint

00:13:29Rapido

00:13:30Rapido

00:13:31Where did they like?

00:13:33You like some guy

00:13:34Clapping at you?

00:13:35Come on

00:13:36Have some self-respect

00:13:37You gotta be your own boss

00:13:38I am my own boss

00:13:39And I've got self-respect

00:13:40No

00:13:40What you got

00:13:41Some guy telling you

00:13:42What to do

00:13:43Nobody tells me what to do

00:13:44Look

00:13:46I'm gonna take off

00:13:47Think about what I said

00:13:48I thought you were

00:13:49Coming over to help me paint

00:13:50No

00:13:50I thought I was coming over

00:13:52While you paint

00:13:53I don't paint

00:13:54I'm not a painter

00:13:55Anyway

00:13:56I gotta go pick up my check

00:13:57Disability

00:13:59Think about what I said

00:14:01When I said

00:14:02They needed a goal

00:14:03I really meant

00:14:04They needed money

00:14:05Because all they were

00:14:06Capable of doing

00:14:07Was painting houses

00:14:08All the fixtures

00:14:10You see

00:14:11Are original

00:14:12They were installed

00:14:13When the house

00:14:14Was first built

00:14:15In 1946

00:14:16Now

00:14:17Nine years ago

00:14:18The owner of the house

00:14:19Mississippi Blue Smoke Jones

00:14:21Had all of the fixtures

00:14:22Removed

00:14:23Sent back to Germany

00:14:24Where they were

00:14:25Originally manufactured

00:14:26In 1928

00:14:28The Mississippi Blue Smoke Jones

00:14:31Harmonica player

00:14:32Yes

00:14:33Wow

00:14:35Nice house Blue Smoke

00:14:39How do you know Blue Smoke?

00:14:41I don't

00:14:42I know off him

00:14:43Not done yet

00:14:44All of the fixtures

00:14:45Were cleaned

00:14:46Restored

00:14:47Updated

00:14:47By the grandson

00:14:49Of the original manufacturer

00:14:51Mincer

00:14:51Vander Klieger

00:14:52Now if that name

00:14:54Rings a bell

00:14:54It should

00:14:55Because we still use

00:14:57Klieg lights

00:14:58Today

00:14:58This way

00:14:59Does he know

00:15:03We're here to paint?

00:15:04As you can see

00:15:05As you can see

00:15:08The kitchen has been

00:15:08Updated as well

00:15:09The technology of tomorrow

00:15:11With the hardwood floors

00:15:12Of yesterday

00:15:13I think that's pretty cool

00:15:15Speaking of cool

00:15:17Nicely done

00:15:18This refrigerator

00:15:19Has the shell

00:15:21Of its mother model

00:15:22The freeze captain 627

00:15:23With the entrails

00:15:25Of the captain frost

00:15:27Master whiz fridge

00:15:29A lovely piece of machinery

00:15:32I believe this is yours

00:15:37Take a look at this

00:15:39Is this beautiful?

00:15:40Look at this

00:15:41With the trees

00:15:41And the sun

00:15:43Look at this view

00:15:44If this view

00:15:46Were a lady

00:15:47I would lay her down

00:15:48Right here

00:15:49Right now

00:15:50And give her the love

00:15:51Oh my god

00:15:53Oh my god

00:15:56I am so god damn

00:16:01Tired of showing houses

00:16:02All day long

00:16:03You couldn't give

00:16:05This piece of shit away

00:16:06This shit

00:16:07It's been on the market

00:16:08For six years now

00:16:10Oh god

00:16:12Oh god

00:16:14Did you ever lie

00:16:15In bed at night

00:16:16And you look up

00:16:16At the ceiling

00:16:17And you realize

00:16:18You know

00:16:18I came to the fork

00:16:19In the road

00:16:20I veered left

00:16:20You know you should

00:16:21Veer right

00:16:22You know it

00:16:22But it's too late

00:16:24It's too late

00:16:25I shit where I sleep

00:16:27Oh god

00:16:28I wish I had a back porch

00:16:30It's too late

00:16:34You guys

00:16:36You seem like nice guys

00:16:39Really

00:16:39And you're young

00:16:41You should get away

00:16:42Run away now

00:16:43Because I feel one coming on

00:16:45Okay

00:16:46I really need to be alone

00:16:49Oh god

00:16:51Oh god

00:16:59Wow

00:17:00Can you believe that

00:17:02Oh

00:17:02Blue Smoke's house

00:17:04Has been on the market

00:17:04For six years

00:17:05It's beautiful

00:17:06Wait wait wait wait wait

00:17:08Two guys

00:17:11Strike that

00:17:11Two morons

00:17:13Who can't paint

00:17:14And they're talking

00:17:15About some musician

00:17:16I thought this was

00:17:19About an armed robbery

00:17:21It is

00:17:22So

00:17:23Where is it

00:17:24I mean

00:17:24How far are we

00:17:25Into the picture now

00:17:26Ten

00:17:27Minutes

00:17:28Maybe

00:17:29Ten minutes

00:17:31Ten minutes

00:17:31Is a lifetime

00:17:32See

00:17:33George knows

00:17:34In Indiana Jones

00:17:35He has already been chased

00:17:36By a boulder

00:17:37By now

00:17:37Okay

00:17:38In Jaws

00:17:38We've seen a girl

00:17:39Get naked

00:17:40Make out with some guy

00:17:41Hop in the water

00:17:41And get eaten by a shark

00:17:42That's the goal

00:17:43That's what the audience

00:17:44Is waiting for

00:17:45Why are you making them wait

00:17:46I wanted to build up

00:17:49The motivation

00:17:50To their committing

00:17:52The robbery

00:17:52Wrong answer

00:17:54My dear

00:17:56You must be visual

00:17:57You have to show this

00:17:58You gotta show some guns

00:17:59Some violence

00:18:00A little blood

00:18:01I don't know

00:18:02Wait

00:18:03Um

00:18:03They

00:18:04They

00:18:04Let's say

00:18:05They

00:18:06They witness a robbery

00:18:08They witness a robbery

00:18:11And that inspires them

00:18:12That's good isn't it

00:18:13That's good

00:18:14That's good

00:18:15Try that

00:18:15You want me to change

00:18:17What I have

00:18:17Change what actually happened

00:18:19Change the truth

00:18:20The

00:18:24What do you think

00:18:25This is church

00:18:26The

00:18:26Yes

00:18:27Yes

00:18:28Change the truth

00:18:29Add the bit about the robbery

00:18:30And then

00:18:31Continue

00:18:33Okay

00:18:35Um

00:18:35Let's see

00:18:37As Uncle Lou said

00:18:39Nobody knows anything

00:18:40So I might as well

00:18:41Give it a try

00:18:42Why can't Miranda

00:18:42Why can't Miranda just be nice to me

00:18:44You guys need a dialogue man

00:18:45Is that it fellas

00:18:47Yeah

00:18:47Alright

00:18:48Uh let's see

00:18:50Pepsi

00:18:51Fruit pie

00:18:52Fruit pie

00:18:53265

00:18:54We got two

00:18:55We got

00:18:5650

00:18:5861

00:18:5962

00:19:0053

00:19:0164

00:19:022

00:19:0364

00:19:0464

00:19:052

00:19:0764

00:19:0864

00:19:09Alright

00:19:10Fine

00:19:11Miranda's just complicated

00:19:19You know

00:19:20You guys

00:19:20You need to talk more

00:19:21Let's stay calm

00:19:23We just want the cash

00:19:23Let's go

00:19:24Move it

00:19:24You two spread out

00:19:26Spread out

00:19:26See some money out of you two

00:19:27Come on

00:19:28Come on

00:19:28I'm not fooling around here

00:19:29Let's open the pot

00:19:30See some cash

00:19:31Man I have nothing

00:19:32I haven't answered that dish

00:19:34Holy cow

00:19:34Give me the change

00:19:36Get the hands up

00:19:38Bam that's it

00:19:39Let's go

00:19:40How hurry was that

00:19:49How about shit

00:19:51Did you about shit

00:19:52How about shit

00:19:53You see me I froze

00:19:55I was just

00:19:56Hey man

00:19:58You're really cool

00:19:59Yeah it's because I don't give a shit

00:20:01It happens every other week

00:20:02I'm not going to get my ass shot up

00:20:04For you know

00:20:04200 bucks

00:20:05It's not even mine

00:20:06You were really cool

00:20:08I should have put a cap in their ass

00:20:09That's what I should have did

00:20:10But I don't have a gun

00:20:13Hey

00:20:17Yeah yeah

00:20:18Go ahead

00:20:19You sure

00:20:20Thanks a lot

00:20:23Sure

00:20:23Jimmy needed to feel worthy

00:20:27In Miranda's eyes

00:20:28To prove himself to her

00:20:30On his own terms

00:20:31But he didn't know how

00:20:33Witnessing the robbery

00:20:35Was both shocking

00:20:36And exciting to them

00:20:37A total adrenaline rush

00:20:39To Jimmy and Virus

00:20:40This was all the inspiration

00:20:41They needed

00:20:42If you had to give a description

00:20:43Of the cops right now

00:20:44What would you tell them

00:20:45I'd say there were two of them

00:20:46Uh huh

00:20:47And that they were bigger than us

00:20:49And white

00:20:49Hey

00:20:51You don't catch guys like that

00:20:53You know

00:20:53They knew exactly what they were doing

00:20:55They were professionals

00:20:56You heard the cashier

00:20:57That shit happens all the time

00:20:58I like this

00:20:59Much better now

00:21:00I like it

00:21:00This is good

00:21:01Come on

00:21:04Jimmy moved in with Virus

00:21:06The wheels were now in motion

00:21:07That would lead them

00:21:08To their eventual destiny

00:21:09Come on

00:21:10Get the door open

00:21:11The phone's ringing

00:21:13Hello

00:21:14Oh no

00:21:16Hey Miranda

00:21:16How are you

00:21:16No actually

00:21:18We just walked in

00:21:18It's Miranda

00:21:19Really

00:21:20No that

00:21:21Yeah

00:21:22No I will

00:21:23Yeah that's sweet

00:21:25I will

00:21:25Absolutely I will

00:21:26Uh huh

00:21:27You look like Joe Perry

00:21:31From Aerosmith

00:21:31Right now

00:21:32In that light

00:21:32It's weird

00:21:33Your nose

00:21:34Huh

00:21:34What are you saying

00:21:35No that

00:21:36Oh okay cool

00:21:37Absolutely

00:21:38I will

00:21:39You guys right here

00:21:41Hold on one second

00:21:42She wants to talk to you

00:21:43Now to Jimmy

00:21:44His life may have been crap

00:21:45But the one thing he did have

00:21:47Was Miranda

00:21:48Actually he didn't

00:21:51But that's Jimmy

00:21:52Hello

00:21:53Yeah no

00:21:54It's me and Virus

00:21:55Hey how'd you know

00:21:57I was here anyway

00:21:57No

00:21:59Just

00:22:00No

00:22:01Now see

00:22:03I think you do want to fight about it

00:22:04As a matter of fact

00:22:05I think you want nothing more

00:22:06Than to fight about it

00:22:07Hang on a second there

00:22:09Pudden

00:22:09You're the one who asked me to

00:22:10Puds

00:22:12I even asked a psychiatrist

00:22:14Why Miranda would call

00:22:15It's called separation anxiety

00:22:17You see

00:22:18Jimmy was obsessed with Miranda

00:22:20Yet

00:22:20She was rejecting him

00:22:22Quite often when people are awake

00:22:23This sort of thing happens

00:22:24Yeah yeah yeah

00:22:25That's exactly what happened to me

00:22:26When I was on a stakeout

00:22:27For

00:22:28For two months

00:22:29Day in and day out

00:22:30My wife and I

00:22:31Well we were separated for some time

00:22:33And uh

00:22:34Well we had arguments

00:22:35And you know

00:22:36Separation is very painful

00:22:38It's stressful

00:22:39It's terrible

00:22:40He was not on a stakeout

00:22:42He's disturbed

00:22:43He thinks he's Joe Mannix

00:22:45From the television show

00:22:46You were not on a stakeout

00:22:47Yeah I tried to call her

00:22:49From every discreet telephone

00:22:50I could find

00:22:51But I

00:22:51There just wasn't any telephones around

00:22:53I was desperate

00:22:54Desperate

00:22:55To talk to her

00:22:55I even had my secretary

00:22:57Peggy

00:22:57You remember Peggy

00:22:58Peggy

00:22:58I said you gotta get in touch with her

00:23:00But nothing

00:23:00Nothing

00:23:01You're not a private eye

00:23:03Mr. O'Hanion

00:23:03You're

00:23:04Wait wait a minute

00:23:05What do you mean Shrinko

00:23:06Of course I'm a private eye

00:23:08Joe Mannix

00:23:09What are you talking about

00:23:10I went undercover

00:23:11With my contacts

00:23:12At the police force

00:23:12Lieutenant Tobias

00:23:13Remember Lieutenant Tobias

00:23:15Yes

00:23:15Yeah well

00:23:15I was out of pocket

00:23:16For six months with that

00:23:17You did not go undercover

00:23:19Your name is not Joe Mannix

00:23:20Mr. O'Hanion

00:23:21It's Creek or O'Hanion

00:23:22You live in Fresno

00:23:22And you make cheap white wine

00:23:24Wait wait wait

00:23:25You said it was gonna be like Reds

00:23:27What part does Warren Beatty play

00:23:30No

00:23:33He's not in it

00:23:35But I'm using eyewitnesses

00:23:38Like in the movie Reds

00:23:40You get me Warren Beatty

00:23:43As an eyewitness

00:23:44We got a movie

00:23:46You have any other casting in place

00:23:51You talk to George

00:23:52He's my eyes and my ears

00:23:53Is he coming back

00:23:57How did you put a blind guy

00:24:06In the movie business

00:24:07It's an advantage

00:24:08First of all

00:24:09Nobody reads scripts anymore

00:24:10They get these kids from UCLA

00:24:12To do that

00:24:13Secondly

00:24:14If he can't see

00:24:15There's a little chance

00:24:16To take his boss's job

00:24:17Though uh

00:24:19On the other hand

00:24:22If he was also deaf

00:24:24His chances could improve

00:24:25Does everyone have a yes man?

00:24:29Some have no men

00:24:30Most have

00:24:32And we'll get back to you man

00:24:33Here

00:24:33Let me give you this guy's number

00:24:36I used to know him

00:24:37He's okay

00:24:38I gave him his first shot

00:24:39You just call him

00:24:41All right

00:24:41Lou Bracken

00:24:44Is he still alive?

00:24:46He called you

00:24:47Didn't he?

00:24:49Hmm

00:24:50Comes from Cuba

00:24:52I can make my whole movie

00:24:54For the price of five of those

00:24:55Is that legal?

00:24:58Cuba Gooding

00:24:59So need a money baby

00:25:02So uh

00:25:06Where were we?

00:25:08Let's see

00:25:08Your cousin Jimmy

00:25:09Jimmy was spending his days

00:25:11Watching TV

00:25:12And bemoaning Miranda

00:25:13You're right

00:25:14Should be separate

00:25:16You know

00:25:16I'm better off out of that house

00:25:18Than still living with that

00:25:19Emotional carnival freak

00:25:20She's a sideshow

00:25:21It's a really nice house though

00:25:24An idiot

00:25:28I still dig

00:25:29Check it out

00:25:31Turn it out

00:25:32Try it

00:25:32After being convicted

00:25:34Of the grisly murder

00:25:36Of his 69 year old grandmother

00:25:38Sally Gagg

00:25:40McClintock's peach

00:25:41They can't be beat

00:25:43You'll say that's me

00:25:44The best darn peach I could ever eat

00:25:47So we don't make the peach

00:25:48But we do teach you to try one

00:25:50McClintock's peach

00:25:51Once they saw the commercial

00:25:52They decided to target McClintock's

00:25:55Okay this is Karen

00:25:56All right

00:25:57She's a friend of mine

00:25:58Karen used to work at McClintock's

00:26:00Why she quit

00:26:00That's not important either

00:26:01Okay

00:26:02All right

00:26:02Here's the candy

00:26:04Karen says they deposit the money

00:26:05To the bank

00:26:06Every Monday afternoon

00:26:07No

00:26:08Yeah

00:26:08So I figure we go in there

00:26:09On a Monday morning

00:26:10That's a week's worth of business

00:26:11In that register

00:26:12How hard can this be?

00:26:13Register full of cash

00:26:14No security

00:26:15I figure we walk in

00:26:16Grab the money

00:26:16Walk out

00:26:17Just like those guys did

00:26:18Coffee Karen figures

00:26:19Almost $50,000

00:26:20Even as Jimmy and Virus

00:26:22Plotted the robbery

00:26:22It seemed that their feelings

00:26:24Against McClintock's

00:26:25Had found some public support

00:26:26How dare the McClintock's

00:26:28In Vogue

00:26:29To sell their peaches

00:26:30They are the most self-righteous

00:26:32Pretentious con artist

00:26:34This town has ever seen

00:26:35I could spit on them

00:26:36McClintock's peaches

00:26:38Smakują jak moje mamy

00:26:41Zupełnie tak samo

00:26:42These eyewitnesses

00:26:44You shot them already

00:26:45Right?

00:26:46Oh yeah

00:26:46In the can

00:26:47And there's a lot more

00:26:48Than what you've heard

00:26:49Mmhmm

00:26:51So uh

00:26:53Who do you see

00:26:56As the peach expert?

00:26:58Oh

00:26:58The real peach expert himself

00:27:00The real one

00:27:01I already shot in the film

00:27:02Okay let's get this straight

00:27:05Everyone

00:27:06I don't care who they are

00:27:08Wants to get their hands

00:27:09On some of these peaches

00:27:10Especially if they've ever

00:27:11Tasted McClintock's peach

00:27:12I mean everyone

00:27:14Okay?

00:27:16Oh

00:27:16Merci book

00:27:18Euro trash

00:27:21Sunscreen?

00:27:23I think

00:27:26I think perhaps you should

00:27:28Think younger

00:27:30Maybe

00:27:31Ben Stiller

00:27:34As the peach expert

00:27:36Whatever happened to authenticity?

00:27:42Authenticity is for CNN

00:27:43Ben Stiller is for movies

00:27:46Cheers

00:27:48Maybe you're right

00:27:49Well think about it

00:27:58Okay?

00:28:00Think about Ben

00:28:01Okay get this straight

00:28:03Everybody

00:28:03I don't care who it is

00:28:05Wants to get their hands

00:28:06On some of those peaches

00:28:07If they've ever tasted

00:28:08McClintock peach

00:28:09Okay?

00:28:11Ben Stiller

00:28:12Hmm?

00:28:14Okay get this straight

00:28:16Everybody

00:28:16I don't care who it is

00:28:18Wants to get their hands

00:28:19On some of those peaches

00:28:20If they've ever tasted

00:28:21McClintock peach

00:28:22Okay?

00:28:24Ben Stiller

00:28:25Okay get this straight

00:28:26Everybody

00:28:27I don't care who it is

00:28:28Wants to get their hands

00:28:29On some of those peaches

00:28:30If they've ever tasted

00:28:31McClintock peach

00:28:32Okay?

00:28:33Much better

00:28:33Now continue

00:28:35Wow

00:28:36The sea for Robbie McClintock's

00:28:39Was planted

00:28:40But Jimmy was torn

00:28:42Confused

00:28:44Just between his unrequited love for Miranda

00:28:47And the adrenaline rush from the robbery

00:28:50Jimmy was an emotional

00:28:52Vulnerable

00:28:54Incredibly hurt boy

00:28:58He was riding a manic depressive roller coaster

00:29:01He had very deep

00:29:04Deep lows

00:29:07And manic sexy highs

00:29:12Very manic highs

00:29:15Excuse me

00:29:16I'm just gonna put this over here

00:29:18Virus wasn't any help

00:29:21He was always testing Jimmy

00:29:22With ridiculous hypothetical questions

00:29:24You were their camp counselor

00:29:26I certainly was

00:29:28And I'm here to say

00:29:29That these boys

00:29:29Were not evil or vicious

00:29:31Oh they weren't geniuses

00:29:32To be sure

00:29:33But they had convictions

00:29:35They had values

00:29:36Hey I got one for you

00:29:37If you had to blow some guy

00:29:39Who would it be?

00:29:40Excuse me?

00:29:41Say you had to blow some guy

00:29:42Who would you pick?

00:29:43I don't have to blow some guy

00:29:44Yeah I know you don't have to

00:29:46But if you did

00:29:47Who would it be?

00:29:48I try not to entertain that thought

00:29:50And I don't think it's healthy

00:29:50When you do it

00:29:51Come on entertain me for a second

00:29:52They got a gun to your head

00:29:54Well if they got a gun to my head

00:29:59Odds are I'll be blowing one of them

00:30:00You're missing my point

00:30:01Your point?

00:30:02I didn't realize there was a point

00:30:04Forget about it

00:30:05Alright?

00:30:05Alright who are they?

00:30:06Friends of yours?

00:30:07No

00:30:07This doesn't make any sense

00:30:09I don't know

00:30:10Look they're just guys

00:30:11Alright

00:30:11They're like bored frat guys

00:30:13They're out on a drinking binge

00:30:14Looking for something to do

00:30:15And somebody gave them a gun

00:30:17I give up

00:30:18Who do I want to blow?

00:30:19I don't know

00:30:20See neither do I

00:30:21You see that was an essential part

00:30:24Of their relationship

00:30:24The conflict between

00:30:26Fantasy and reality

00:30:28Yeah well

00:30:29Blowjobs are great

00:30:31But not between two guys

00:30:32This isn't about sex

00:30:34That's not the point

00:30:35Wrong

00:30:36That is the point

00:30:39Sex

00:30:40You gotta have sex

00:30:43Real sex

00:30:45Sexy sex

00:30:48What sex

00:30:49Between a guy and a gal?

00:30:52Real sex?

00:30:54Yeah like

00:30:55Baywatch

00:30:57Baywatch

00:31:00That's it

00:31:01Make it all happen at the beach

00:31:04The whole picture

00:31:06You reshoot all the witnesses

00:31:08At the beach

00:31:10You change the robbery

00:31:11To the beach

00:31:13Then you make Miranda

00:31:14A sexy sexy life guide

00:31:17And you send it to me

00:31:19Sealed with a kiss

00:31:21And I'll get back to you

00:31:23All you wanted was sex

00:31:25Sex

00:31:26Sex

00:31:27Really?

00:31:29Ooh

00:31:29That's three sexes

00:31:30It was new

00:31:32It was ambitious

00:31:32This is very discouraging

00:31:34Why come on

00:31:35You ready to give up already?

00:31:36Huh?

00:31:37I thought you were a toughie

00:31:38I thought you had crust like me

00:31:40That's what I always liked about you

00:31:41Well it's just not exactly

00:31:42What I expected

00:31:43What did you expect?

00:31:44Somebody

00:31:45The first time you meet them

00:31:46They're gonna give you money

00:31:47To make a fukaku little movie?

00:31:48Huh?

00:31:50Come here

00:31:51Come here

00:31:51Come on

00:31:53Look

00:31:54This is a tough town

00:31:56It's gotta pay your bills

00:31:57Sweetheart

00:31:58Sit down

00:31:58Let's go

00:31:59It just seems like

00:32:06Everyone wants to make

00:32:08A different movie

00:32:08Than the one that I want to make

00:32:10Hey

00:32:10So what?

00:32:12That's the town

00:32:13Everybody is a critic

00:32:14They go to screens

00:32:16And they say

00:32:17Why wasn't so and so

00:32:19In that part?

00:32:19Why can't the ending be different?

00:32:22Come here

00:32:22I'm gonna set you up

00:32:24With Gus Schnuck

00:32:25The king of schlock

00:32:26He's not quite right

00:32:27For your picture

00:32:28But he's not a critic

00:32:28He wouldn't even pretend

00:32:30To know good from bad

00:32:31Come on in

00:32:32Come on in

00:32:33What do you mean

00:32:34You never heard of a topless toga?

00:32:36What difference does it make?

00:32:37That woman's knockers are so big

00:32:39You couldn't cover them anyway

00:32:40Hiya, Judge

00:32:41Look, Harry

00:32:42I'm sorry

00:32:43We're gonna have to talk

00:32:44About this later

00:32:45I got a meeting now

00:32:46Yeah, okay, bye

00:32:47Have a seat

00:32:49Please

00:32:49Sit down

00:32:50Meet my assistant

00:32:52Okay

00:32:52He started one of my worst pictures

00:32:54Fuck you

00:32:55You watch your mouth

00:32:57You little shit

00:32:58The picture was terrible

00:33:00But it made a fortune

00:33:00He thinks he should get all the money

00:33:02I'm a star

00:33:03I'm a star

00:33:04Shut up

00:33:05That's a beautiful bird

00:33:07Thank you

00:33:08So, pick up where you left off

00:33:10You're making this movie now

00:33:12About an armed robbery

00:33:13The American Dream

00:33:14Your cousin Jimmy

00:33:14Around that time

00:33:16Almost everyone was talking about

00:33:17McClintock's peach

00:33:19Peaches are good for you

00:33:20They're healthy

00:33:21Go to any health food store

00:33:22They'll tell you

00:33:22Peaches are number one

00:33:24And these

00:33:25Kissed by God

00:33:26I hate peaches

00:33:27Not just McClintock's peaches

00:33:29But all peaches

00:33:30After all

00:33:31If there weren't any peaches

00:33:33Dwayne Allman would be alive today

00:33:35The whole town had a fruit syndrome

00:33:38That infected everyone

00:33:40Particularly

00:33:41Jimmy and Virus

00:33:43You could say that

00:33:44Virus caught a virus

00:33:45Excuse me, young lady

00:33:52Is the owner in?

00:33:54Oh

00:33:54Good lord

00:33:55Broke the mold with you two

00:33:57Well

00:33:59I'll just put in

00:34:01A French loaf

00:34:03And

00:34:04A couple muffins for you

00:34:09Miranda was in earlier

00:34:13Huh

00:34:14Why don't you just

00:34:16Quit your fussing

00:34:17And marry that girl

00:34:17I did

00:34:20Oh

00:34:21And you

00:34:24You ought to get yourself a steady

00:34:26Because you're gonna

00:34:28Catch something

00:34:29That won't wash off

00:34:30You don't want to

00:34:32Grow old alone

00:34:33No ma'am

00:34:35335

00:34:37When I lost Walter

00:34:47My life went into a tailspin

00:34:49I really do miss that man

00:34:53You know

00:34:54We did such good business here

00:34:56Before McClintock's opened

00:34:57Can't compete with that

00:34:59God-kissed peach

00:35:01Hi

00:35:02McClintock's

00:35:04Well

00:35:04McClintock's is really the

00:35:06Lifeblood of this town

00:35:08You know

00:35:09In large part

00:35:10That's because of

00:35:11Of these peaches

00:35:11These are

00:35:13Some of the best peaches

00:35:13In the world

00:35:14They're really kind of

00:35:15God-kissed

00:35:16You know

00:35:17Listen

00:35:18They pumped the revenue

00:35:19Right into this city

00:35:20Did you get that

00:35:21You see

00:35:22The thing is

00:35:23Every city

00:35:24Every major city

00:35:25Has that

00:35:26That one special attraction

00:35:27You know

00:35:28New York has the

00:35:28Statue of Liberty

00:35:29And San Antonio

00:35:30Has the

00:35:30You know

00:35:32The Alamo

00:35:32We have

00:35:33Peaches

00:35:34Now this peach

00:35:35Did you get that

00:35:38Are we in

00:35:38This peach

00:35:39It's eaten by

00:35:41President

00:35:42Ronald Reagan

00:35:43He came to this city

00:35:46Just for the peaches

00:35:48Actually

00:35:50Well

00:35:50I mean

00:35:50I think

00:35:51Actually he was lost

00:35:52But the point is

00:35:53That

00:35:53He took one bite

00:35:55Of that peach

00:35:56And

00:35:57Well he had to leave

00:35:59But I was fortunate

00:35:59Because I grabbed that peach

00:36:01Before he left

00:36:03And

00:36:03It's a little rotted now

00:36:06You can probably see

00:36:06But

00:36:07Those are his actual teeth marks

00:36:09I'm pretty sure

00:36:11They were his real teeth

00:36:13Uh

00:36:14Excuse me Sarah

00:36:15Who do you see

00:36:16As a peach expert?

00:36:17Ben Stiller

00:36:17What are you

00:36:19A casting director?

00:36:20That's exactly

00:36:21Who I saw

00:36:22Really?

00:36:23Go on

00:36:24Ben Stiller

00:36:25Ben Stiller

00:36:26Not you

00:36:27You dummy

00:36:28Her

00:36:28Please

00:36:29Fuck you

00:36:31I'm a star

00:36:31Ben Stiller

00:36:33I'm warning you

00:36:33You're right on the edge

00:36:34You're gonna get it

00:36:35I'm sorry

00:36:37Please

00:36:37Go ahead

00:36:37As I was saying

00:36:40By now

00:36:40Jimmy and Virus

00:36:42Zeroed in on McClintocks

00:36:43But they were still afraid

00:36:44Of getting caught

00:36:45I feel really good

00:36:46About the plan

00:36:46I really

00:36:49You know

00:36:49Feel good about the whole thing

00:36:50But I also feel like

00:36:51We're gonna get caught

00:36:52No

00:36:52Do not do that

00:36:53Do not do that

00:36:55Look I feel like

00:36:56I'm serious

00:36:56Don't think that way

00:36:58Look I'm just saying

00:36:58No

00:37:01I know

00:37:02You really don't get it

00:37:02Do you

00:37:03Listen up Skeeter

00:37:04I'm gonna tell you once

00:37:05If you think it

00:37:07It will happen

00:37:08Well now this Jimmy

00:37:08Could he go psycho

00:37:09Like De Niro did

00:37:10At the end of Taxi Driver

00:37:12You know

00:37:12I mean

00:37:13That's something I could sell

00:37:14Uh no

00:37:14But he could

00:37:16But he didn't

00:37:16But you're writing it

00:37:17So he could

00:37:18But it's a true story

00:37:19So he didn't

00:37:19Get in

00:37:20Watch it

00:37:21Watch it

00:37:22Fuck you

00:37:22Fuck me

00:37:23Fuck you

00:37:24Teach him one bad word

00:37:26And he goes nuts

00:37:27Now what about music

00:37:28This virus

00:37:29He could be a musician

00:37:30You know

00:37:30Kids love music

00:37:31I mean

00:37:32Soundtracks can put a movie

00:37:33In the black

00:37:33Even if it's a turkey

00:37:34You know

00:37:35Turkey

00:37:35I got the music in me

00:37:38I can feel it

00:37:40I just gotta find it

00:37:41We all do

00:37:43No we all don't

00:37:45What you're feeling

00:37:47You see there's a euphoria

00:37:48That comes along

00:37:49With believing your own bullshit

00:37:50That's what you're feeling

00:37:51Not the music in you

00:37:52Well

00:37:53We mock

00:37:55What we don't understand

00:37:57You see because

00:37:59The music

00:38:01She's my lady

00:38:01She's my muse

00:38:03But she's got a whole lot of mean

00:38:08Up under that skirt of hers

00:38:09She taunts me

00:38:11Sits at the end of the bar

00:38:13And just before we lock

00:38:14She's gone

00:38:15She's like a cold cup of coffee

00:38:18Sweet sweet music

00:38:22Jimmy and virus

00:38:23Had meticulously planned a robbery

00:38:25With detail and precision

00:38:26Asking all the tough questions

00:38:28What does a professional robbery need for a robbery

00:38:30You need a car and you need guns

00:38:32That's about it

00:38:32Mandates

00:38:33Mustangs

00:38:33I can get a car

00:38:34But what about guns

00:38:35Pepsi

00:38:35Please

00:38:36I get guns

00:38:37You can get guns

00:38:38I get guns

00:38:40You can get a car

00:38:41I'll get guns

00:38:42I can get a car

00:38:43I can get guns

00:38:45I can get guns

00:38:45And we got a car

00:38:46And we got guns

00:38:47Sandwich

00:38:48Car

00:38:50Guns

00:38:51Masks

00:38:54Masks

00:38:55And she's like

00:38:57Oh I had trouble parking

00:38:58It's like there's hella parking outside

00:39:00This is your idea for getting a car

00:39:02She'd be like

00:39:03What's your problem

00:39:04I can rent a car and get guns

00:39:06Alright

00:39:06Can you get guns

00:39:07Thank you

00:39:07It's not cool

00:39:08Don't talk about guns

00:39:11Sorry

00:39:14Not to be sorry

00:39:16Don't talk about guns

00:39:18You know

00:39:19It's like

00:39:19I mean

00:39:20I would like to meet you too sometimes

00:39:21She's a liar

00:39:23Because some people lie

00:39:24And she said

00:39:25First

00:39:25You remember when she was gone

00:39:27She said she had dirty

00:39:28Bitch was in Hawaii

00:39:30I know she was

00:39:31Because she came back with a can

00:39:33And she was not taking cigarette breaks

00:39:35She was smoking weed

00:39:36Because I know what weed smells like

00:39:38Weed

00:39:38No that's not the point

00:39:39Weed smells like

00:39:42No weed

00:39:43It's kind of like

00:39:44Kind of like sour apple

00:39:45And it's also kind of like

00:39:46Butter

00:39:47It's kind of like butter

00:39:49And pine

00:39:49You know like pine

00:39:51No not pine

00:39:52Pine

00:39:53The point is

00:39:54You don't smoke weed at work

00:39:55You can smoke weed anywhere

00:39:57You don't smoke

00:39:58You smoke it on your time

00:39:59You don't smoke weed on my time

00:40:00You don't smoke weed

00:40:01Oh I'm sorry

00:40:02I'm sorry

00:40:03I'm sorry

00:40:04I'm sorry

00:40:05I'll call you back

00:40:07I'm sorry

00:40:08Can I help you?

00:40:09Yes

00:40:10Good afternoon

00:40:11We were quite taken

00:40:12With the Cap'n Amonti

00:40:13We saw outside

00:40:14Is that considered a mid-size?

00:40:26I know how I feel

00:40:27Of course you do

00:40:28Of course you do

00:40:29Which car?

00:40:34Driver's license

00:40:35Yes

00:40:36Not on me

00:40:37You're gonna rent a car

00:40:39It's so funny to me

00:40:41How's that funny?

00:40:42How's that funny?

00:40:43We can't rent

00:40:44We don't have money to rent

00:40:46You don't need money to rent

00:40:48You pay when you return

00:40:49What if we don't get money?

00:40:50Then we don't return

00:40:51That's what they got insurance for

00:40:53Insurance is bullshit

00:40:55Good hands

00:40:56Hand job

00:40:57Reach around

00:40:58Bullshit

00:40:59I still don't see how renting is funny

00:41:02Well it's not funny

00:41:03It's cheating

00:41:04Funny and cheating are synonyms

00:41:06Whatever

00:41:07Whatever

00:41:08Whatever

00:41:09Good response

00:41:10I guess you win

00:41:11I'll just get Miranda's car

00:41:13She's pissed at you

00:41:14We need a car

00:41:15Why don't they steal a car?

00:41:17I mean all they do is talk

00:41:19Not enough action

00:41:20Too much talk

00:41:21Talk or talk?

00:41:22I warned you

00:41:23You shut up now

00:41:24Look

00:41:25Where's the action?

00:41:26The car chases

00:41:27The broads

00:41:28The...

00:41:29The IRS

00:41:30I told you never

00:41:31Never to mention that

00:41:32The IRS

00:41:33The IRS

00:41:34All right

00:41:35That's it

00:41:36Now I'm gonna get you

00:41:41Miss me miss me

00:41:42Parrot's got his number

00:41:44The parrot picture made him big money

00:41:48So he's afraid the parrot's gonna rat him out to the IRS

00:41:51But he can't kill him

00:41:52Because he needs him for the sequel

00:41:54Is everybody in this town nuts?

00:41:5690%

00:41:57Hmm

00:41:59I got a new strategy for us

00:42:01This lady

00:42:03Gave me my last job, right?

00:42:04She's now

00:42:05Big executive networks

00:42:07I don't know

00:42:08Maybe

00:42:09This could work

00:42:10As a movie of the week docudrama

00:42:12Hmm?

00:42:13Darling

00:42:14I can't make it a moment before nine

00:42:16Okay

00:42:19Go on

00:42:20Jimmy and Byrus are only days away from the robbery

00:42:22It was clear there was only one thing they could do to stop them

00:42:25Themselves

00:42:26Stop right there

00:42:29Do you have any stars attached?

00:42:31No

00:42:33Then you're going to need a strong female lead

00:42:36This woman

00:42:37Is she more than just a run of the mill wife, girlfriend, mistress, hooker with a heart of gold?

00:42:42You want a chick flick?

00:42:43I'll give you a chick flick

00:42:44Oh, she's strong alright

00:42:46And there's a lot more where that came from

00:42:48I told you, Jimmy, get the fuck out of here!

00:42:51I'm serious!

00:42:53Get out!

00:42:54So she's strong

00:42:56What about love?

00:42:58Is she in love?

00:43:00Oh, there's love

00:43:02I got robbed the other day

00:43:03Good!

00:43:04You deserve it!

00:43:05Now just get out!

00:43:06No, you're right

00:43:07I promise I'm going to change puddin'

00:43:08I promise

00:43:09Wait, what did you just call me?

00:43:10Puddin'

00:43:11Puddin'

00:43:12No, no, no

00:43:13You don't have the right to call me puddin'

00:43:14No more puddin'

00:43:15Puddin'

00:43:16Okay?

00:43:17It used to be cute

00:43:18It's not cute anymore, Jimmy

00:43:19What's not cute about puddin'?

00:43:21Puddin'

00:43:22That's cute

00:43:23Puddin'

00:43:24Shut up!

00:43:25Alright, look

00:43:26Jimmy, I can't take this anymore, okay?

00:43:28It's been like a year, right?

00:43:30You watch videos all night

00:43:32You sleep all day

00:43:33Then you hang out with buyers

00:43:34I need more, you know that?

00:43:35So just leave me be, okay?

00:43:37Do us both a favor

00:43:38Just get out of my life

00:43:43I need to borrow the car

00:43:45What?

00:43:47I need to borrow the car

00:43:48Well, no

00:43:50You can't

00:43:51You can't borrow my car

00:43:52Your car?

00:43:53Yeah, my car

00:43:54The car

00:43:57You're so fucking gangly

00:43:58Oh

00:43:59You are so beautiful

00:44:02Oh, Jesus Christ

00:44:03What are you doing?

00:44:04Get away

00:44:05I've missed you so much

00:44:06I don't give a fuck

00:44:08I have somebody over here

00:44:09You can't come in

00:44:10Don't

00:44:11Don't touch me

00:44:12Makes me want to puke when you touch me

00:44:14Get the fuck off me

00:44:25They're star-crossed lovers

00:44:27And they're sex

00:44:28And they're sex

00:44:33Damn!

00:44:47So, can I get those guns now?

00:44:49I hope Jennifer told you I don't deal in any of that Saturday night special nonsense

00:44:59I've got clean, out of state, barely been used product, high resale value

00:45:08Now

00:45:10Now

00:45:11Yeah

00:45:12They might seem a little big

00:45:14But they're not

00:45:15You show me some patients, I'll get you a Smith & Wesson 38

00:45:19Basically snub-nosed service revolvers get the job done

00:45:2238s are not as big as these

00:45:24Yeah

00:45:28Hello ladies

00:45:30You laughing at me, huh?

00:45:31Huh?

00:45:32You laughing at me?

00:45:33What am I a clown?

00:45:34Do I amuse you?

00:45:35I'm funny now, huh?

00:45:36You must be laughing at me

00:45:37I don't see anybody else around here

00:45:38You're mixing your movies, dipshit

00:45:39What?

00:45:40You're mixing your movies, dipshit

00:45:41What?

00:45:42You're mixing your movies

00:45:43Well I'm not

00:45:44How the fuck do I amuse you, huh?

00:45:45That's Joe Pesci

00:45:47Joe Pesci wasn't in taxi driver

00:45:48That's what I'm saying

00:45:49You're mixing your movies

00:45:50No, I'm not

00:45:51Whatever

00:45:52Whatever

00:45:53Good response, I guess you win

00:45:55You know uh

00:45:57Jennifer, what you guys

00:45:58I said?

00:45:59I'm saying

00:46:00And that's you guys

00:46:02Well I'm not

00:46:03Whatever

00:46:04Whatever

00:46:05Good response, I guess you win

00:46:07Uh, Jennifer said you'd have 32 revolvers or something.

00:46:13What?

00:46:14Jennifer told me earlier that you have 32 revolvers.

00:46:17Jennifer told me earlier you'd have 32 revolvers.

00:46:19Jennifer told me earlier you'd have 32 revolvers.

00:46:21Well, guess what, assface?

00:46:22I'm doing you a favor.

00:46:24I could get rid of these guns for at least $300 a piece tonight.

00:46:30You know what?

00:46:31I'll take those.

00:46:32Yeah, yeah, you will.

00:46:33$600, first of the month.

00:46:34Don't mind me coming looking for you.

00:46:35Kiss.

00:46:37Great.

00:46:37I'm keeping the jacket.

00:46:39You're going to keep the jacket, Craig.

00:46:41Go on, get out of here.

00:46:43I got work to do.

00:46:46So, we have sex, love, a felony, and guns.

00:46:55I love guns.

00:46:58But I'm not sure I buy the bit about getting the guns from the girlfriend.

00:47:03Oh, well, I interviewed a gun expert.

00:47:06Oh, I'm all ears.

00:47:11Tell me more.

00:47:12You should buy from a licensed dealer like me.

00:47:16But you can get guns anyway.

00:47:18You want to feel one?

00:47:19Well, you don't have cold steel relaxing against the fleshy part of your finger.

00:47:28And you just ain't lying.

00:47:30It's hard, shiny, and it has beautiful girls.

00:47:35And it won't yell at you when you're bad.

00:47:36And it won't spank you for talking back.

00:47:39No.

00:47:40And it's your friend.

00:47:43Your best friend.

00:47:45You want a whole one?

00:47:46You know, guns are what made this country great.

00:47:53Don't you agree?

00:47:56Oh.

00:47:57People.

00:47:58Well, I'd rather not.

00:47:59I don't believe in guns.

00:48:02Well, you know, you don't know what it's like until you touch the love shaft of Mr. Smith and Mr. West.

00:48:09Actually, being a girl, it's all right for me not to be into guns.

00:48:14What do you mean, being a girl?

00:48:16That's all the more reason you need one.

00:48:18All these crazies in the streets.

00:48:20You want to be raped?

00:48:21No.

00:48:22You carry a gun.

00:48:24And you hold it in your arms.

00:48:26And you suck on the barrel like it's your mama's titty.

00:48:29I really don't want to do this.

00:48:32What?

00:48:35Oh.

00:48:35That must have been heaven.

00:48:42What?

00:48:43Feeling the gun and actually having it go off in your hand.

00:48:50Well, actually, it scared me to death.

00:48:55You mean you don't like guns?

00:48:57Does that mean you don't want me to continue?

00:49:10Eight.

00:49:11Did I mention I saw Ben Stiller as the peach expert?

00:49:14Love you too, darling.

00:49:16Bye.

00:49:22Maybe we should go the indie route.

00:49:24You can't get a studio picture made these days without big stars.

00:49:27Yet, that has nothing to do with whether the film makes money or loses money.

00:49:30It's all about keeping your job.

00:49:31What do you mean?

00:49:32Well, let's say you got a terrific screen, right?

00:49:35But you put two morons, Jimmy and Virus, in it, right?

00:49:38No studio's going to go for that.

00:49:40Why?

00:49:40Because the film loses money.

00:49:42Then the executive who gave it to Green Light is going to lose his job.

00:49:45On the other hand, you get Tom Hanks or whoever else is the flavor to money.

00:49:49Then the film tanks.

00:49:50It's Tom Hanks' fault.

00:49:51Or, even better yet, the director.

00:49:53I've got Ben Stiller.

00:49:55Oh, very nice.

00:49:57That's good.

00:49:58That's a start.

00:49:59So, what do I do?

00:50:00Oh, hold on.

00:50:03Yeah.

00:50:05Oh, Phil.

00:50:06Yeah, look.

00:50:06I got my...

00:50:07No, no, no.

00:50:08I know we got business.

00:50:10Uh, Phil, hold on for a second, okay?

00:50:13Listen, this is a long shot.

00:50:15Yeah, I'll call you right back.

00:50:16Just stay where you are.

00:50:17Don't move.

00:50:18Okay?

00:50:18Bye.

00:50:19I don't know why I didn't think about this before.

00:50:25That's my bookie.

00:50:26He's got a network.

00:50:27He puts money in a lot of independent movies.

00:50:29Your bookie?

00:50:30Uh-huh.

00:50:30Well, he books for all the writers.

00:50:32A good friend of mine couldn't pay him, right?

00:50:35So he gave him his script.

00:50:36The picture became a huge hit.

00:50:37The guy is now hooked on movies.

00:50:39Hi, I'm Sarah Wilder.

00:50:43I'm here to see Phil Phillips.

00:50:46Hey, Phil!

00:50:47I'm Miss Sarah Wilder here to see you.

00:50:49Send her in!

00:50:51Go ahead.

00:51:00Sarah Wilder.

00:51:01Any friend of Lou's is a friend of mine.

00:51:03Actually, I'm his niece.

00:51:03I know that.

00:51:04So Lou told me a little bit about this picture.

00:51:07Are there any cars in it?

00:51:08Yes.

00:51:09Yeah, you did.

00:51:16You know, Blue Smoke played with the group of Grants boys.

00:51:18Really?

00:51:19I mean, he could have.

00:51:23Somebody's got the music in him.

00:51:27Not anymore.

00:51:28Let's see him.

00:51:30Just drive.

00:51:32I'm doing stuff over here you couldn't even comprehend.

00:51:34Beretta 9mm?

00:51:37This makes it official.

00:51:38Oh, yeah.

00:51:39We're crooks.

00:51:40That's cool.

00:51:4345?

00:51:44Lucky.

00:51:45That's an expensive gun.

00:51:47Only two things nicer than an expensive gun.

00:51:49That'd be your Swiss watch and your pretty girl.

00:51:51What's that pretty girl's name?

00:51:52Is it pretty?

00:51:53Is it pretty?

00:51:54Yeah, Jolly.

00:51:55Yeah, Jolly.

00:51:56Down the ditch, Jolly.

00:51:56Jolly, Jolly.

00:51:57Down the ditch.

00:51:57Now, Jolly.

00:51:58Now, Jolly.

00:51:58That never happens again.

00:52:04Never.

00:52:08We live and die by the risk of the heist.

00:52:10What?

00:52:11We live and die by the risk of the heist.

00:52:12What does that mean?

00:52:14Right now, nothing.

00:52:18How'd they get this car?

00:52:20It was Miranda's car.

00:52:21Jimmy's wife.

00:52:23They didn't steal it or jack it?

00:52:25No.

00:52:25Let me get this straight.

00:52:28They're planning a robbery,

00:52:29and they're going to use a car that belongs to his wife?

00:52:32What, are they idiots?

00:52:33They aren't the two brightest guys in the world.

00:52:36Hero.

00:52:37Okay, good one.

00:52:39We get in there, and there's a dumb guy who wants to be a hero.

00:52:42Okay, I'm done with talking.

00:52:43All right, everything's going as planned, right?

00:52:45Right.

00:52:45Smooth as silk, just like clockwork.

00:52:47All of a sudden, some guy hops up off the floor and figures,

00:52:50hey, this is a good time to get in the newspapers.

00:52:52I'll foil this robbery.

00:52:53Yeah, I'm a hero.

00:52:53I'm a hero.

00:52:54React.

00:52:55Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.

00:52:57All right, you better just dial it down, all right?

00:52:59Just dial it down, numbnuts,

00:53:01before Mr. Thundermaker starts shitting some bullets.

00:53:11Don't worry, take another one.

00:53:13Okay.

00:53:14This is going great.

00:53:15You're doing well.

00:53:17Pregnant woman's water poops.

00:53:19Pops.

00:53:20Pregnant woman's water poops.

00:53:21Pregnant woman's water poops.

00:53:21Right, right, right.

00:53:23Oh, my God.

00:53:25I'm having my baby.

00:53:27I'm having my baby.

00:53:30Pregnant woman's water poops.

00:53:31Of napalm.

00:53:39Yes.

00:53:41Morons.

00:53:42This picture's about two morons.

00:53:45Jimmy and Virus had practiced and rehearsed the robbery for days.

00:53:48It was the hardest work they'd done since, well, ever.

00:53:51And there was no turning back.

00:53:53This was it.

00:53:54Their moment of truth.

00:53:55We just parked the car. We walked the block, the location. We walked slow. We're just two guys walking.

00:53:59What if we see cops?

00:54:00It doesn't matter. We're just two guys walking. We're just two guys that happen to be walking.

00:54:03We determine the area's secure.

00:54:04Then we move forward. We're at the entrance. We pull out the guns. We run in. We grab the money. We run out.

00:54:08How long are we going to be there?

00:54:09Two minutes.

00:54:09Two minutes tops. Not two and a half. Not three. Two minutes.

00:54:13Let's try one.

00:54:25You ready?

00:54:31Candy from a baby.

00:54:32Any mark?

00:54:33Get set.

00:54:35Go.

00:54:40What's the name of this store, please?

00:54:44McClintock's Grocery.

00:54:48We're here.

00:54:49They've just done some remodels.

00:54:50That's nice.

00:54:52Not necessary.

00:54:53All right, listen up, people.

00:54:55This is a robbery.

00:54:57We don't want any trouble.

00:54:59So if you want to be stupid, let's do it now and get it over with.

00:55:05Look, nobody plays tough guy but me, all right?

00:55:08We have a gun and we got a car, okay?

00:55:12So we live and die by the risk of the highest.

00:55:13Hey, fellas, there's no need for all the shouting.

00:55:17If you're here for the peaches, I'm sure we can work something out.

00:55:21I think I'm speaking for the group when I say nobody here wants to take a bullet.

00:55:27I know I don't.

00:55:28Hey, you need to do some shopping?

00:55:31Great time.

00:55:34Look, he's cool.

00:55:35Let's go, huh?

00:55:35Just like we planned.

00:55:36Look, wipe that curly Joe smile off your stupid melon and just open the register.

00:55:40Now, you don't have to take that, Lawrence.

00:55:42Shut up, you apron-wearing fake-toothed pie-bacon.

00:55:46Hey, hey, hey, no.

00:55:47Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, come on.

00:55:48You don't have to be mean.

00:55:49They'll do what we say.

00:55:49We got guns.

00:55:51Back off, you beanpole-ichabod-cream motherfucker.

00:55:55I don't remember rehearsing this part.

00:55:57This whole thing was your idea, so if I don't meet your expectations of what a professional grocery store robber should be,

00:56:01I'd like to take this time to apologize in front of all the fine folks here at McClintock's.

00:56:05Hey, everybody!

00:56:07Peaches on me!

00:56:08Hey, uh, well, we're a little behind, but we're still professionals.

00:56:18We deserve better than this.

00:56:20No, you don't.

00:56:21But you know what does?

00:56:23This cow!

00:56:25This cow deserves better than this!

00:56:27You and your big McClintock's market.

00:56:30I got raw meat and I am crazy, so let's make with that cash and coin, Colonel Tom.

00:56:34I do it, he ain't right!

00:56:35Come on, all of it.

00:56:36Safe to it!

00:56:37You want to pitch in and help off with that?

00:56:39All right, now, see, this is why I wanted you to go to the family.

00:56:42There's no time for that, dear, now.

00:56:44These fellas seem to be in a hurry.

00:56:45You had to watch the dogs here.

00:56:46Let's all pitch in.

00:56:47Come on, please, come on!

00:56:49There's a few more dollars we're going to save to give to the church, but you might as well take the whole thing.

00:56:56Thank you, ma'am.

00:56:59Take us home!

00:57:00Clean, that's it!

00:57:02Let's go!

00:57:02Knock, knock!

00:57:07Thanks a lot.

00:57:07Appreciate it.

00:57:09Morons.

00:57:10These are the two dumbest guys I ever heard of.

00:57:12It appeared that Jimmy and Virus had actually pulled off a successful robbery without getting caught.

00:57:17Anything to do with McClintock's was a big story in town.

00:57:21So, tell us, were you at the robbery or not?

00:57:25Yeah.

00:57:27Yeah, I was there, okay?

00:57:29Is that what you want to hear?

00:57:30I was there in the store when the three guys burst in wearing ski masks, pointing guns and shouting, okay?

00:57:36We were there and, uh, I didn't see a lot.

00:57:39Did you see a lot?

00:57:40No, I didn't really see a lot.

00:57:42No.

00:57:42Well, I thought they were after the missus at first.

00:57:45I didn't know what was going on.

00:57:46My first thought, of course, was the peaches.

00:57:49And then I thought the missus, because you never know what two men like this, desperate, are going to do with a beautiful young woman like this.

00:57:55He didn't get a good, uh, see him, you know, a good, uh, eyeball of him, if you will, you know, on account of, uh...

00:58:02Circumstances.

00:58:03Circumstances.

00:58:05Who am I kidding the eye, you know?

00:58:07Let's talk turkey, I'm a freak.

00:58:08Well, I remember them.

00:58:10I remember that day was really a bad day for me, because I was here by myself, because somebody else wasn't here with me, so it was all different, so I remember that day was really distinctly...

00:58:23I'd stick the peaches up my ass if it would do something, sir.

00:58:28I'd have a whole crate up my rectal vault if I meant that I didn't have this frickin' eye!

00:58:35Okay, I stole five peaches.

00:58:37Is that it?

00:58:38Is that what you want to hear?

00:58:39I stole five peaches, all right?

00:58:41What did you want me to do?

00:58:42They were rolling around the floor like a bunch of alleys.

00:58:44What was I supposed to do?

00:58:45Everybody was taking them.

00:58:48The Samoan took three.

00:58:51Yeah, there was a Samoan.

00:58:53Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

00:58:54Or a really big Filipino.

00:58:59Excuse me.

00:59:01Mm-hmm.

00:59:02Jack!

00:59:03Yeah?

00:59:04Mm-hmm.

00:59:05Mm-hmm.

00:59:06Mm-hmm.

00:59:06Big Sky Jim in the fourth.

00:59:09Mm-hmm.

00:59:10Something fishy.

00:59:12Okay.

00:59:13No more action in the fourth!

00:59:17Excuse me.

00:59:18Anyway, the initial 48 hours after the robbery were crucial.

00:59:21How Jimmy and Virus would act would either mean a successful getaway or prison.

00:59:27Do what?

00:59:27Yeah.

00:59:29Bean polled, Ichabod, Crane, motherfucker.

00:59:35Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that, because we should definitely discuss that.

00:59:40Yeah.

00:59:41Because I got really swept up in the moment, and I'm not proud of it, but the guy in that

00:59:48store standing on that counter and just shouting, berating you, and the guy sitting on this counter

00:59:56talking to you, um, are two different guys.

01:00:04Where's the fella done all the hollering?

01:00:06Love to have a little chinwag with him.

01:00:10Well, he asked me to tell you that he's sorry, and that he won't be coming around here anymore.

01:00:15I know that much, that you can, he, and he also asked me to give you this, a little bit of that.

01:00:30That's what he was.

01:00:37You should tell him thank you.

01:00:40Definitely will.

01:00:41Well, and I would also like to take you out to dinner or something like that, you know?

01:00:48I can't even believe we're having this conversation.

01:00:51Look me in the eye and tell me.

01:00:54I've never, ever slept with Miranda.

01:00:58I don't believe you.

01:01:01I give up.

01:01:02You give up because you know I'm right.

01:01:04Do you honestly think that if I'd ever had sex with her, even before we met, I wouldn't have brought it up?

01:01:11That sucks.

01:01:15Let's talk about something else.

01:01:17No, don't, not mine.

01:01:18Just stop it.

01:01:20Just put it out of your mind.

01:01:22And think about Kennedy taking a bullet to the back of the head.

01:01:25It's science.

01:01:26Valid science.

01:01:27It's been proven.

01:01:28You're a dick.

01:01:28I'm a dick.

01:01:29You're a dick.

01:01:30Then you're my balls.

01:01:31Sunshine, we can ask Trey.

01:01:37Sean Connery.

01:01:38Why Sean Connery?

01:01:40It's the only answer.

01:01:40How do you figure?

01:01:43Okay.

01:01:47You're out at some abandoned warehouse, right?

01:01:49These guys got a gun to your head because you've got to blow one of them.

01:01:53Bring me Sean Connery.

01:01:55Then, before you begin the actual blow, you look up at Sean like,

01:01:59Okay, Sean, I'm going to give you the signal.

01:02:02We drop these guys and get the hell out of here.

01:02:05It's foolproof.

01:02:05Yeah.

01:02:08Uh, what if Sean's not with you?

01:02:14At least you're blowing one of the grapes, huh?

01:02:16This is a fucked up conversation.

01:02:18Hey, Phil!

01:02:19Somebody here to see you!

01:02:21Who?

01:02:22Frankie C!

01:02:23Frankie C!

01:02:24Jesus Christ, send him back!

01:02:26Frankie, you son of a bitch!

01:02:28Where are you doing?

01:02:29That was great!

01:02:32Say hello to Sarah.

01:02:34I was just leaving.

01:02:34No, no.

01:02:35You stay.

01:02:36Hey, she's telling me about this movie.

01:02:39She's got this movie idea.

01:02:40You know, she's Lou's niece.

01:02:42You remember Lou?

01:02:42Nice guy.

01:02:43Nice guy.

01:02:43Anyway, she's telling me this story about her idiot cousin.

01:02:46Uh-huh.

01:02:47Go ahead.

01:02:47Tell him.

01:02:48They just knocked off a peach store.

01:02:50Uh-huh.

01:02:51Actually, it's a grocery store that specialized in peaches.

01:02:54Whatever, whatever.

01:02:55Go ahead.

01:03:01You can't tell me you don't think about getting caught.

01:03:03What are you doing?

01:03:06I asked you not to do that.

01:03:08You can't tell me you don't think about it.

01:03:10That's great.

01:03:10Thanks a lot.

01:03:11You jinxed us.

01:03:12That's...

01:03:13Man.

01:03:14Sorry.

01:03:14Get off of me.

01:03:15Don't...

01:03:15Don't touch me.

01:03:24Where are you going?

01:03:25I'm leaving.

01:03:26You tainted the roof.

01:03:27Now I can never come up here again.

01:03:29And I paid my rent.

01:03:31We're not jinxed.

01:03:34Turn to the right.

01:03:40When I first heard Jimmy was involved, I didn't want to believe it.

01:03:46I don't even know what you guys are doing here, because Jimmy and I are completely done.

01:03:50We were totally separated, so I don't really have anything to tell you.

01:03:54Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

01:04:01So you are going to send those pictures to the cops?

01:04:04Yeah, Jimmy's going to love this.

01:04:06What, are you kidding me?

01:04:07The cops are looking all over for me, right?

01:04:09So by sending them pictures, it shows I'm not scared.

01:04:12That's the risk of the hunt, baby.

01:04:14Do not baby me.

01:04:15Are you insane?

01:04:17They see the photos with me and you, and they're going to put two and two together.

01:04:20It's me they're after.

01:04:22That's right.

01:04:22I don't even know you.

01:04:23That's right you don't know me.

01:04:25Why are you advertising our affiliation?

01:04:28Patty, Patty, sweet.

01:04:30Innocent Patty.

01:04:32Look, I want you to know that no matter what happens to me, I'm not going to forget about you.

01:04:36Where are you from?

01:04:39What are you not understanding?

01:04:40They see the photos with me on your lap.

01:04:43God, I know this is tough for you.

01:04:45God.

01:04:46You know, but I need you to stand tall and be strong and know that no matter what happens,

01:04:51all right, when a tear runs down your face, it's not a tear.

01:04:54Okay, it's me just saying I love you.

01:04:55Do you understand what I'm saying?

01:04:56Okay.

01:04:57Yeah, I think I get it now.

01:04:58Great.

01:04:59Okay, well, I got to run.

01:05:02Pretty face.

01:05:06Hello?

01:05:19Yes, who am I speaking with, please?

01:05:21Well, hello, Officer Sturgis.

01:05:23This is Dick Tangling.

01:05:24I need you to do me a favor if you could.

01:05:26Come and find me, you fat donut-eating wife-beating sad excuse for a cop.

01:05:3010-4, 10-4, 10-4.

01:05:34Take off the glasses.

01:05:36Uh, excuse me, uh, but this guy, uh, Cyrus.

01:05:48Virus.

01:05:48His name's Virus.

01:05:49Yeah, Virus Cyrus.

01:05:51Yeah, yeah.

01:05:51You say he went to the cops?

01:05:52Morons.

01:05:53I told you.

01:05:54Well, not exactly.

01:05:55Everyone had their own opinion on that.

01:05:57Feats of courage combined with nobility of purpose.

01:06:01That's what these boys are about.

01:06:03You, you, they, they, they don't sit there in judgment, judging other people's idiosyncrasies.

01:06:09They're confident.

01:06:10You, what do you do?

01:06:11You ask questions.

01:06:13They don't ask questions.

01:06:14They give answers.

01:06:15They do something.

01:06:16You would do well to be more like them.

01:06:19That boy just wasn't right in the head.

01:06:21He used to come in here all the time and just be, you know, handling the breads.

01:06:28Of course, when he was little, he sure did fall down a lot when his daddy was home.

01:06:33Virus.

01:06:35I don't know him.

01:06:36So, what do you think motivated him to rob McClintock's?

01:06:40I said, I know him.

01:06:41I'm not his mama.

01:06:43You know, Virus and I have this really special connection that, um, that Jimmy just, he can't

01:06:49understand it.

01:06:50You know what I mean?

01:06:51He's so lost.

01:06:52You know, this place wouldn't be so depressing if you guys just chose a different color scheme.

01:06:59Maybe get away from your pastels because a dark color in a dark place, that equals, equals

01:07:05dark.

01:07:07You guys need to get brighter.

01:07:12Your yellows, burst of orange, your blues.

01:07:16Make a man's day go quicker.

01:07:17You know, Truman, I'd be willing to sit down with your commanding officer and discuss it

01:07:20with him if you think it would help move things along a bit.

01:07:22Whatever.

01:07:23Whatever.

01:07:24Good response.

01:07:24I guess you win, right?

01:07:43Got your letter.

01:07:46See you met Truman.

01:07:48You asshole, you got us caught.

01:07:50You got us caught.

01:07:51You jinxed us.

01:07:52As your attorney, I should tell you that this is my first case and I'm at a loss for words.

01:07:59I have no idea what to do and that worries me.

01:08:03Is everybody in this picture an idiot?

01:08:05I was just trying to tell the story like how it happened.

01:08:07Nobody could be that stupid.

01:08:09Well, you had to know him, especially Jimmy.

01:08:11That's his nature.

01:08:12You see, they're very good people.

01:08:14They just got in trouble for the wrong reasons.

01:08:16And that's the point I want to make in the film.

01:08:19If this goes to trial, we'll need to create some doubt.

01:08:22We need people to speak on your behalf and no one's willing to do that.

01:08:26Oh, there's going to be somebody.

01:08:28They're wonder.

01:08:29They're mentioned.

01:08:30You know what a mention is?

01:08:31That's what those boys are.

01:08:32You would do well to be more like them.

01:08:35You're boring.

01:08:36You.

01:08:37They're on the roof.

01:08:37What?

01:08:38What are you saying?

01:08:39You're on the roof.

01:08:40We need you to come down now.

01:08:43What?

01:08:44Are you my three o'clock?

01:08:45I'm sorry.

01:08:45I think it's my three o'clock.

01:08:46Are you the Goodmans?

01:08:48Yes.

01:08:48We're the Goodmans.

01:08:49I'm Sarah.

01:08:50This is my husband, Lester.

01:08:52Now, please, come down off the roof.

01:08:55I'm sorry.

01:08:56That's my three o'clock.

01:08:57Okay.

01:08:58I'll be there in a jiffy, okay?

01:09:00See, either you got it or you don't got it.

01:09:04And this kid virus, he sure don't got it.

01:09:07You know, Jimmy pretty much did the whole thing to impress me.

01:09:10I mean, he's just sort of driven by his love for me.

01:09:14And he's so gangly, you know?

01:09:16He's like a little thin, I don't know, anyway.

01:09:20McClintocks are well-respected in the community,

01:09:23and you two have pissed off that community.

01:09:26Those God-kissed peaches put this city on the map.

01:09:30They said, let's have everything in the safe.

01:09:32Well, I handed it to them.

01:09:34They were out the door, and I wanted to say,

01:09:35I let you down.

01:09:37I didn't give you everything I had in the safe.

01:09:40And I was going to run after them, and the missus said,

01:09:42no, they made their bed, let them lie in it.

01:09:45No, we added that to the insurance.

01:09:49Gentlemen, I've gone over your case almost three times.

01:09:54And I'm sorry to say, but I don't see any loopholes.

01:09:57There's no way around this evidence.

01:09:59You're going to be in here for a while.

01:10:01Either you were born with the gift or you're not.

01:10:03I hate to break it to you.

01:10:05You were born without the gift.

01:10:08Oh, sinner man, can't you hear me say?

01:10:16Oh, God.

01:10:18Oh.

01:10:20So you're jealous?

01:10:21Yeah.

01:10:21You're jealous because I unleashed the music in me.

01:10:24Kill me.

01:10:27Somebody, anybody.

01:10:29Please kill me.

01:10:31All right, lights out.

01:10:34Me too.

01:10:35Oh, and, uh, whose bright idea was it to send those photographs to the police?

01:10:46They knew you were mocking them.

01:10:49Yes.

01:10:50I know virus.

01:10:52Yes, we slept together.

01:10:54I got it lit.

01:10:55Great.

01:10:56And yes, that may be me in the picture with him.

01:10:59But the money I was counting is my money.

01:11:01Money I busted my ass.

01:11:02Quit it!

01:11:02It's the money I busted my ass to get.

01:11:06I'm not going to bullshit you.

01:11:07Quit it!

01:11:08I'm sorry.

01:11:09You're not sorry.

01:11:10You always fucking keep at me and at me.

01:11:12You're picking at me.

01:11:13I wanted to touch you.

01:11:14Just shut up, you fucking retard.

01:11:17I'm not retarded.

01:11:18Look, I'm not.

01:11:19You are retarded.

01:11:20No, I'm not.

01:11:20You are retarded.

01:11:22I've got some schooling.

01:11:25I've got some schooling.

01:11:27Don't lose hope, fellas.

01:11:28Because listen, from what I've heard, there's a judge in the Fifth Circuit Court who can maybe

01:11:33get you a lighter sentence.

01:11:34Maybe as little as eight years.

01:11:39Jimmy and virus tried to make the best of their incarceration.

01:11:43They started a congenial con policy and tried to meet at least one new felon a day.

01:11:47With this new approach, they met arsonists, armed robbers, and even some interesting murderers.

01:11:53Are you Harold Gag?

01:11:56Who wants to know?

01:11:57My name's Jimmy.

01:11:59Oh, yeah, you and your buddy Rob McClintock's.

01:12:03Yeah.

01:12:04That took balls.

01:12:06Yeah.

01:12:08Say, Harold, uh, what if I ask you a question?

01:12:13No.

01:12:14I didn't kill my grandmother.

01:12:17I talked a lot about it.

01:12:18I even write about it in my journal, but that's because that's what I am.

01:12:22I'm a writer, not a killer.

01:12:25Now that I'm in here, I can write all I want.

01:12:29Pass the time, I do a bit of reading, too.

01:12:32I read.

01:12:33I'm a reader.

01:12:38You look like Joe Perry from Aerosmith.

01:12:44Uh, what kind of stuff you read?

01:12:47You know, I like to read a lot of books about, you know, leadership and free thinking.

01:12:52They taught me to realize it's what I am, you know?

01:12:55Yeah, I do know.

01:12:56Yeah?

01:12:57I mean, it's your life.

01:12:57You want to live it on your terms, right?

01:12:59Yeah, I think of myself as a sure thinker, you know, a leader, you know?

01:13:05My grandma, though, man, she was always telling me what to do, you know?

01:13:07I hated that.

01:13:08I don't like people telling me what to do.

01:13:10I'm the same way.

01:13:11Finally, I meet somebody who gets it.

01:13:13Yeah, because I'm a leader, not a follower.

01:13:15I don't follow.

01:13:17I lead.

01:13:18I'm the same way.

01:13:19Did I kill my grandma?

01:13:22No.

01:13:23No, I didn't kill her, man.

01:13:24Oh, man, but sometimes she just wouldn't let up, you know?

01:13:29She'd follow me around the house like a parrot on my shoulder, you know?

01:13:32Into my ear every five minutes, you know?

01:13:34Don't forget to dot your I's.

01:13:36Don't forget to cross your T's, you know?

01:13:38She'd jump on a vein and suck it dry, you know what I'm saying?

01:13:41Over and over.

01:13:44Tomato dumplings, man.

01:13:47Why would it...

01:13:48Why would any woman get up in the morning and decide that I like tomato dumplings?

01:13:53What's up with that?

01:13:54I never even knew what one was until it showed up on my plate, huh?

01:13:57What kind of sick game is she playing, huh?

01:14:00Oh, I didn't kill her.

01:14:01You know what?

01:14:02Whoever did kill her, man, they were right on, man.

01:14:05This journal?

01:14:07This journal's my escape.

01:14:08This journal's my way out, huh?

01:14:10The only way to keep my head clear is to write short stories about corking up her mouth hole, huh?

01:14:16What are you working on now?

01:14:26Oh, it's a short story about my brother's wife.

01:14:28It's called You and Your Goddamn Pies.

01:14:30Okay, I'm gonna step up for a minute.

01:14:34What?

01:14:35I gotta keep going.

01:14:35Okay.

01:14:36Uh, Harold, I want you to have a very nice day.

01:14:38It's supposed to rain.

01:14:39Yeah.

01:14:40Hey.

01:14:42You know, Hitler was a leader.

01:14:46Okay.

01:14:46Are we rolling?

01:14:49Okay, uh, hey, Jimmy!

01:14:51Jimmy!

01:14:53Pay attention, okay?

01:14:54I want to ask you a question.

01:14:56What?

01:14:57What were you thinking?

01:15:00What are you...

01:15:01Look, you know, we weren't waiting around for any handouts, if that's what you mean.

01:15:06You know, we saw what we wanted, and we went out and took it.

01:15:08That's what makes America, America.

01:15:11You see something you want, and you figure out how to get it.

01:15:14And I did what I did.

01:15:16I didn't like people telling me what to do.

01:15:19Hey, Jimmy!

01:15:19Break's over!

01:15:21You got a prison to paint.

01:15:22Let's go!

01:15:24Well, you know, looking back on it now, I suppose...

01:15:28I suppose I do some things differently.

01:15:32You know, I don't even know if I'd do it again.

01:15:46What do you want?

01:15:57Well, I wanted to see you, and I figured you'd want to see me, too.

01:16:01Why would I want to see you?

01:16:02Because, you know, he told me to get my shit together, and I have.

01:16:07You've been here five months.

01:16:09You're in jail.

01:16:10I don't call that getting your shit together.

01:16:14I'm a professional.

01:16:16And I wrote you a poem.

01:16:17Oh, no, don't.

01:16:20You're not going to read it, are you?

01:16:21Jimmy, Jimmy.

01:16:22You have sunk to new depths, Jimmy.

01:16:25Jimmy, if you read that, we are both going to be so embarrassed, okay?

01:16:30No, we won't.

01:16:31Yes, I will.

01:16:32So, if you want to give me something, just make me a license plate or something.

01:16:37My Miranda.

01:16:39My Jimmy Cody.

01:16:40Poor sweet thing.

01:16:45I've put you through so much.

01:16:47I want nothing more than just to feel your touch.

01:16:50Okay, please don't do this, Jimmy.

01:16:52Jimmy, please.

01:16:52When I'm thinking of you and my heart is breaking,

01:16:56they tell me to shut up and get back to raking.

01:17:00Oh, God.

01:17:03So, for the state in my filth, I've wallowed.

01:17:06And for you, my love, my pride,

01:17:09I've swallowed.

01:17:12Okay, that's just darling.

01:17:14I think this can't be true.

01:17:16I shouldn't be here.

01:17:18I should be at home.

01:17:20Protecting you.

01:17:23But I'm not.

01:17:26Oh, my God.

01:17:27I've got to get out of here.

01:17:28Car.

01:17:29Thanks for listening and making the long drive.

01:17:31I really appreciate it.

01:17:33Careful on the drive home.

01:17:35People are nuts out there.

01:17:39Okay.

01:17:45I love you.

01:17:47This summer, Virus comes over

01:17:48and he's helping me paint the kitchen, right?

01:17:50And Jimmy gets in his head

01:17:53that I want to sleep with Virus,

01:17:55which would fucking kill Virus, right?

01:17:57I mean, he's just so pathetic.

01:18:04Hey, Virus?

01:18:05Virus?

01:18:07Virus?

01:18:08Can you help me out here?

01:18:09There's something I'm not clear on.

01:18:11Let's hear it.

01:18:12Was that me that was always thinking about us getting caught?

01:18:15Or was I the one who said,

01:18:17if you think it, it'll happen?

01:18:19Because I remember hearing it,

01:18:21I just don't remember if that was me saying it to you

01:18:24or you saying it to me.

01:18:25Oh, right, right.

01:18:27Now I remember.

01:18:28Right, right.

01:18:29I was the one who said,

01:18:30nothing exists,

01:18:31thinking makes it so.

01:18:33You were the one who kept willing us to get caught.

01:18:36That's right.

01:18:38Now I got it.

01:18:39Right.

01:18:39And did we get caught?

01:18:41I forget.

01:18:44Sure.

01:18:44Sure we did.

01:18:46Right.

01:18:46We're raking because we have to,

01:18:49not because we enjoy it.

01:18:51Right.

01:18:52We're in prison right now.

01:18:54That's right.

01:18:54So I was right,

01:18:56and you got us caught.

01:18:59Right?

01:19:00That's right.

01:19:01Okay.

01:19:02Right.

01:19:04Hey, Virus,

01:19:05do me a favor, would you?

01:19:06Do not think about us dying a slow, painful death in prison,

01:19:10okay?

01:19:10And above all,

01:19:12don't think about what's in your heart of hearts.

01:19:15Your heart of hearts.

01:19:16Because that's where us getting caught lives.

01:19:19Admit it, Rockstar.

01:19:20You got us caught.

01:19:24Yeah, I guess so.

01:19:27Oh, what's that, son?

01:19:28I can't hear you.

01:19:30What are you, deaf, son?

01:19:32No, I'm not deaf.

01:19:33I'm just thinking.

01:19:35About fucking Miranda.

01:19:37You asshole.

01:19:38I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

01:19:45That's right.

01:19:46The only thing that kept Jimmy going

01:19:48was blaming Virus for jinxing them

01:19:50and to get out by any means possible,

01:19:53escape if necessary.

01:19:54Just a couple of cons.

01:19:56I'm sweeping.

01:19:57Don't want no trouble here, boss,

01:19:58because I'm just a sweeper.

01:20:00Look at all the trash.

01:20:03Ready?

01:20:04I'm ready.

01:20:05On the mark.

01:20:08Get set.

01:20:12Go.

01:20:12Ready?

01:20:14Go!

01:20:15Oh, yeah!

01:20:17Come on!

01:20:18That's how I'm about it!

01:20:19You... you said it wasn't electrified?

01:20:38I was kidding. I was kidding.

01:20:49I'm not gonna bullshit you. I don't have the time, and if you fucking touch me, and you don't have the film, but if you need some, I can hook you up.

01:21:00Not good film, though. It's a really cheap film.

01:21:04Yeah, take it from a retard. Cheap.

01:21:06He knows about film quality. I do. I'm a savant.

01:21:11Make a wish.

01:21:18Nah, I still got the fucking eye.

01:21:20Yeah, I was there. I'm really glad those guys Rob McClintock's.

01:21:24As far as I'm concerned, those boys did a service to the community. Those boys are heroes.

01:21:29Jimmy and Virus' big day finally arrived. Their first meeting in front of the parole board.

01:21:35Well, I hope you've learned a few things while you've been here in the last six months.

01:21:40Absolutely. Sure do.

01:21:42Alright, I'll take that as a yes.

01:21:44Yes.

01:21:45Okay.

01:21:47And since neither of you actually use any live ammo, I suppose we have no choice but to reluctantly return you to society.

01:22:00We, uh, never intended to harm anyone.

01:22:03We respect that and appreciate your honesty.

01:22:06Now once you go through that door to the outside, I don't want to see you back in here again.

01:22:13Not while I'm here. And I'm going to be here.

01:22:17Alright, that's all.

01:22:19Get up.

01:22:21Goodbye.

01:22:22Goodbye.

01:22:24What if they can't find Sean Connery?

01:22:32Then it's considered a forfeit.

01:22:34Forfeit?

01:22:35Come on, that doesn't make any sense. And I'd pick Churchill, you know?

01:22:39Everybody picks some guy they know they can't get.

01:22:42That's cheating.

01:22:43You're making up these rules as you go along, I think.

01:22:46That's your opinion.

01:22:48Come on, you're making up the rules.

01:22:50Opinion?

01:22:51I got you a little something-something.

01:22:52What?

01:22:53Thanks.

01:22:54Wow!

01:22:55A Mississippi Blue Smoker Lodica.

01:22:59Yeah.

01:23:00But these are commemoratives.

01:23:01They only made a million of these.

01:23:03I was able to track one down.

01:23:05Wow.

01:23:06I'm going to head in.

01:23:07Uh, let her know I'm home.

01:23:09Show her this.

01:23:10Oh, she's going to love that.

01:23:12I got a feeling she is.

01:23:14Yeah.

01:23:15I'll get down.

01:23:16Alright, take care.

01:23:17This is the right thing?

01:23:36You be strong.

01:23:37See ya, man.

01:23:38Yeah, seriously, it's been fun.

01:23:40Had a blast.

01:23:41Right back at you.

01:23:43Well, take it easy.

01:23:45Me too.

01:23:46You know we'll do it again.

01:23:54Good luck.

01:24:16I told you, Jimmy.

01:24:17Get the fuck out of here!

01:24:18I'm serious!

01:24:19Get out!

01:24:20I'm just going to look over here.

01:24:21I'm just going to look over here.

01:24:22I want to look over here.

01:24:24Get the fuck out of here!

01:24:26Serious!

01:24:28Get out!

01:24:48Oh, I'm just gonna look over here.

01:24:51I like it.

01:24:55So, that's how it got made.

01:24:58It might not be the best film in the world,

01:25:00but it's my first film and I got it made.

01:25:03I love Frankie and Phil for giving me a chance,

01:25:05and of course, my Uncle Lou.

01:25:07So if you're someone like me who wants to make a movie,

01:25:10find an Uncle Lou.

01:25:12Or better yet, find a bookie who has an auto repair shop

01:25:15who loves the movie.

01:25:18Uncle Lou!

01:25:20We did it!

01:25:21Sweetheart, you did it.

01:25:23You did it.

01:25:24Oh, fuck!

01:25:25I don't care!

01:25:26Remember, nobody knows.

01:25:33You're killing me here Phil.

01:25:34Oh, you're like a bank, you always pay off.

01:25:36Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

01:25:38You're killing me, you know that?

01:25:39You're busting my balls.

01:25:40Get a good count.

01:25:41Get a good count.

01:25:42I got the big wish cover.

01:25:43Don't worry about it.

01:25:44Oh, it's alright.

01:25:45I love you anyway.

01:25:46Don't touch.

01:25:49I think you might be sure.

01:25:50It's all day.

01:25:51It's all day.

01:25:52It's all day.

01:25:53It's all day.

01:25:54Oh, sure.

01:25:55It's all day.

01:25:56I'm out of the way.

01:25:57You're like, what the future holds?

01:25:58Nobody knows anything till it goes.

01:25:59It takes off to the next level of the game.

01:26:01Until then, you don't know a damn thing.

01:26:03Sometimes in life there's questions nobody knows.

01:26:07How to explain the things that nobody knows.

01:26:11People these days, they play and act like you know.

01:26:15But nobody, not even you, woman.

01:26:18Nobody knows, always know.

01:26:20Sometimes, in life, there's questions nobody knows.

01:26:24How to explain the things that nobody knows.

01:26:29People these days, they play and act like you know.

01:26:32But nobody, not even you, woman.

01:26:35Nobody knows.

01:27:05Nobody knows.

01:27:35People these days, they play and act like you know.

01:27:42But nobody, not even you woman.

01:27:44Nobody knows.

01:27:46Sometimes in life there's questions nobody knows.

01:27:51How to explain the things that nobody knows.

01:27:55People these days, they play and act like you know.

01:27:59But nobody, not even you woman.

01:28:01Nobody knows.

01:28:02Nobody knows.

01:28:05I'm coming in.

01:28:06I'm coming in.

Nobody Knows Anything - SD

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