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Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01:02We do it for one reason.
00:01:03Nothing in the world makes us feel so good.
00:01:06Don't! Don't!
00:01:09That hurts!
00:01:10Oh, poor Kate, let me make it better.
00:01:13Ow!
00:01:14You're ugly.
00:01:15You're ugly!
00:01:15Billy!
00:01:27First love is the most powerful because no one's been hurt yet.
00:01:31My first love was Bobby Norton.
00:01:32Everything he did had a sort of magic to it.
00:01:36The way he smiled, the way he talked, the way he walked like my favorite actor, Billy Jack.
00:01:42Bobby was a movie star.
00:01:44Hi.
00:01:56Hi.
00:01:58You okay?
00:01:59Maybe you shouldn't shove so hard next time.
00:02:07My heart just got bigger.
00:02:14When I look at you like this, it looks like you only have one eye.
00:02:26One of the many differences between men and women when it comes to love is the need to tell
00:02:36the world every little detail.
00:02:38If you do choose to spill your guts to someone, just make sure it isn't Becky Sussman.
00:02:52Bobby, are you okay?
00:02:54How could you do it?
00:02:56What did I do?
00:02:57You told everybody.
00:02:58How could you do that?
00:03:00All my friends are making fun of me and now it's over.
00:03:03It's over.
00:03:06Bobby!
00:03:08Bobby!
00:03:09I'll tell your friends I was lying!
00:03:14I'll let you hit me harder!
00:03:17Bobby!
00:03:19Love is a minefield.
00:03:21You take a step, get blown to pieces, put yourself back together again and stupidly take another step.
00:03:28I guess that's human nature.
00:03:30It hurts so much to be alone that we all rather blow up than be single.
00:03:36With the proof of love.
00:03:37It'll do it.
00:03:38How could you do?
00:03:39So the weather's coming.
00:03:41The clouds and chimneys rise.
00:03:43There's something wild and free.
00:03:46The river always runs.
00:03:50Away from here.
00:03:51And you and me.
00:03:53You are a honey child.
00:03:55I'm a honey child.
00:03:59Oh, my honey child.
00:03:59Oh, my honey child.
00:03:59These stones are in your hands
00:04:08Through the air, across the sea
00:04:11That doesn't make the elevator go any faster, Kate.
00:04:20Yeah, I know, but it makes me feel more involved.
00:04:24Are you angry?
00:04:25No, why?
00:04:26I just heard this thing where single women
00:04:29Tend to be eight times angrier than married.
00:04:31Maybe you should write an article about that
00:04:33Since, you know, you're not married.
00:04:36Yeah, I would, but I'm in the middle of writing an article
00:04:39On married bald guys who can't get a heart without Viagra.
00:04:42Hold me closer, close I stand
00:04:49Close I say I always will
00:04:57My honey child
00:05:04You're late.
00:05:14I know.
00:05:16Not a good day to be late.
00:05:18Why not?
00:05:19Because the Antichrist is really pissed at you.
00:05:21She said she wants to see you in her office right now.
00:05:23Oh God, why?
00:05:25Well, I'm not supposed to say.
00:05:31Do you have any stretch marks?
00:05:33Not yet.
00:05:34Damn!
00:05:35I have a deadline on my vitamin E piece.
00:05:37I know that heifer in accounting has them, but she's not talking.
00:05:39Does anybody have any stretch marks?
00:05:41Sit down.
00:05:50Oh God.
00:05:52Don't get old, Kate.
00:05:54Old is ugly.
00:05:55Ugly is death.
00:06:00You're fired.
00:06:01What?
00:06:01Get me, Leo.
00:06:02Was this a joke?
00:06:03I mean, were you planning on turning in the article I signed to you after I read that one?
00:06:06Well, you said I should make the article my own, so I did.
00:06:08Kate, Kate, this is a step-by-step description of sucking cocks.
00:06:13Right, actually, I called it a blow-by-blow.
00:06:15Very clever.
00:06:16When life sucks, so should you.
00:06:19Oral sex can cure depression.
00:06:20What the fuck are you thinking?
00:06:22All right, so maybe the title's a little harsh, but I found a great hook, don't you think?
00:06:27When I said make it your own, I meant draw from your own experiences and relationships.
00:06:31That's what I did.
00:06:32I mean, I know ten times more about blowjobs than I do about relationships.
00:06:36I failed at every relationship I've ever been in.
00:06:39Kate, I don't know what's going on in your personal life, and I really don't give a shit.
00:06:42The point is, our readers still have hope.
00:06:45This is called Monique magazine.
00:06:46Monique, my name is at stake here.
00:06:48It is not called tired old jaded dick sucker review.
00:06:51All right, what if Mary writes the piece on perfect relationships,
00:06:54and I do the little thing on stretch marks.
00:06:56I know tons of people with stretch marks.
00:06:57Okay.
00:07:02I'm going to be completely honest with you here.
00:07:05I can't cope with being fired.
00:07:08This is the only thing in my entire life I haven't failed at.
00:07:12I can do the assignment.
00:07:13I know I can.
00:07:15Can you finish 2,500 happy perky words by deadline tonight?
00:07:18Absolutely.
00:07:19Then you are temporarily unfired.
00:07:20Now get the fuck out of my office.
00:07:21Shit, shit, shit.
00:07:31So are you fired?
00:07:33Not yet.
00:07:36Hey, somebody made a copy of your blowjob article and circulated it.
00:07:40Pretty good.
00:07:41So use your hands, huh?
00:07:44Mm-hmm.
00:07:51Happy, perky notes on how to find and keep that perfect man.
00:08:13We all want to be loved.
00:08:16Sometimes it doesn't even matter who loves us,
00:08:18as long as they make us feel less alone.
00:08:21What makes a relationship last forever?
00:08:24I guess if I knew the answer to that,
00:08:26I wouldn't be living alone with my four cats.
00:08:35They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs to get to the prince.
00:08:38Richard Milner was the most boring frog I ever dated.
00:08:42But sometimes you just have to get out of the house.
00:08:45Masculine and feminine.
00:08:49Boy, we looked out pretty good.
00:08:50You know, my mother's corns aren't usually this bad.
00:08:54But lucky for us, she wasn't able to walk well enough to come to the show.
00:08:58It's haunting, don't you think?
00:09:01What?
00:09:03The paintings.
00:09:04They're pretty disturbing.
00:09:08You think?
00:09:09Well, if I had a kid,
00:09:11I definitely wouldn't put one of these up in his bedroom.
00:09:14Unless I hated them.
00:09:15Man, my father would have hung stuff like this from my ceilings.
00:09:21He hated me.
00:09:23You know, my mother hated me, too.
00:09:26She used to tell me I was dying of cancer when I was four.
00:09:30Yeah.
00:09:31Always sent me into these deep depressions,
00:09:33you know, which is exactly what she wanted,
00:09:34because then I wouldn't ask her to make me lunch.
00:09:37Yeah, she hated it when I bugged her for food and stuff.
00:09:39Hey, uh, would you like a champagne?
00:09:45What?
00:09:46Uh, a champagne.
00:09:47Would you like one?
00:09:48Yeah, absolutely.
00:09:49Okay.
00:10:03Are you looking for me?
00:10:04Do you mind if I talk to you for a minute?
00:10:14Sure.
00:10:16In the corner?
00:10:18In the corner?
00:10:19I don't like the middle of rooms.
00:10:21Just come over to the corner.
00:10:23Nobody's behind you in the corner.
00:10:24Come here.
00:10:24Come here.
00:10:24Come here.
00:10:25Come here.
00:10:34So who's that guy you're with?
00:10:37What guy?
00:10:38Oh, uh, Richard.
00:10:39He's a stand-up comedian.
00:10:41Hey, seems funny.
00:10:42Is he your boyfriend?
00:10:43Richard?
00:10:43No.
00:10:44No, I mean, he's 30 years old,
00:10:46and he lives with his mother.
00:10:48So what do you think of the paintings?
00:10:49Well, I love the style,
00:10:50but I think they're a little immature.
00:10:52Immature?
00:10:53Hmm.
00:10:54Well, what makes you say that?
00:10:55Well, look at that one over there.
00:10:57Yeah?
00:10:58What the hell's that supposed to mean?
00:11:00That?
00:11:00I think that one's supposed to mean
00:11:02that there's a woman pulling a severed head at her ass.
00:11:04Yeah, so what's the point?
00:11:06What do I learn from it?
00:11:08Maybe that's it.
00:11:10Maybe there's no point,
00:11:11and that's supposed to learn anything.
00:11:13I wonder what the artist looks like.
00:11:15He must be pretty scary
00:11:16with shit like that coming out of his head.
00:11:18Yeah, well, maybe he has a highly developed dark side
00:11:20that you might not be in contact with.
00:11:24So how long did it take you to paint that one?
00:11:31Oh, gosh, there you are.
00:11:33I've been looking all over for you.
00:11:36You are a doll.
00:11:37Look at this.
00:11:39Uh, Richard, Adam leaving.
00:11:42Oh, wow.
00:11:44Wow, you're the artist.
00:11:46Wow, you're the lucky guy.
00:11:47Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:11:48We were just getting around
00:11:49and discussing our future children.
00:11:52Right, but I don't think
00:11:53you can have a future together.
00:11:55Um, sorry, excuse me?
00:11:56See, in order to have a future,
00:11:57I would assume that you would need
00:11:58to see the person again.
00:11:59You're not going to be seeing her anymore
00:12:00because she's my girlfriend now.
00:12:02What?
00:12:02What?
00:12:04Well, from the moment
00:12:05we laid eyes on each other,
00:12:06we had this immediate spark.
00:12:08Isn't that right, uh, uh...
00:12:10Kate.
00:12:10Kate.
00:12:11Isn't that right, Kate?
00:12:12No, actually.
00:12:13Oh, I...
00:12:14Oh, is this some kind of joke?
00:12:16No, no, but this is
00:12:18two guys walk into a bar.
00:12:20One guy is a 30-year-old stand-up comedian
00:12:22who lives with his mother.
00:12:23Okay, could we, uh, go now, please?
00:12:34You know what?
00:12:35It is women like you
00:12:36who turn men into weirdos.
00:12:38Richard.
00:12:39No, no, don't bother.
00:12:40You know, once I've been hurt,
00:12:41there's no turning back.
00:12:45Wow, that wasn't cool.
00:12:47I did...
00:12:47I made it weird.
00:12:48I was mean.
00:12:49You shouldn't have done that.
00:12:50I know, I know.
00:12:51I know.
00:12:53So where should we eat?
00:13:08You are without a doubt
00:13:10the tallest woman
00:13:10I've ever met in my life.
00:13:13Really?
00:13:14Mm-hmm.
00:13:16Can I see your hands?
00:13:17I've been noticing them.
00:13:18You just have these, like,
00:13:19long E.T. fingers.
00:13:22Like a tree frog.
00:13:23Oh, my God.
00:13:28Oh, my...
00:13:29How big?
00:13:30Size 11.
00:13:32Size 11?
00:13:33Yeah, size 11.
00:13:33Woman size 11?
00:13:34Is this some kind of artist thing
00:13:35focusing on people's flaws?
00:13:37I don't see them as flaws.
00:13:38I see them as God's
00:13:39little artistic choices.
00:13:40So I guess God decided
00:13:41to give you this abnormally large head.
00:13:45See?
00:13:46Now, you know what's different about that?
00:13:47Because you're being shitty
00:13:48and mean
00:13:49and I was celebrating
00:13:50your body,
00:13:51who you are.
00:13:52You were celebrating my body.
00:13:53Yeah, I was.
00:13:55You know, I like this part
00:13:56of the relationship normally.
00:13:57And what part is that?
00:13:59When it's new, you know?
00:14:00You get to ask all the fun questions.
00:14:02Hmm, right.
00:14:03And me first.
00:14:04Okay.
00:14:04Uh, what's your relationship
00:14:06like with your dad?
00:14:09Um, my dad's dead.
00:14:11He was hit by a car
00:14:12in front of me
00:14:13when I was six.
00:14:14Oh, God.
00:14:14I'm so sorry.
00:14:16I don't...
00:14:16Just kidding.
00:14:17We get along great.
00:14:20Any brothers and sisters?
00:14:21It's my turn.
00:14:22No, I've taken your turn away.
00:14:23Any brothers or sisters?
00:14:24I have three older brothers.
00:14:26How many women
00:14:26have you slept with?
00:14:27Excuse me?
00:14:29Oh, come on.
00:14:30It's not like you
00:14:31haven't counted them.
00:14:31How many?
00:14:32How many men
00:14:33have you slept with?
00:14:34Not that many.
00:14:35Thirteen.
00:14:37Thirteen?
00:14:38Mm-hmm.
00:14:39As, like,
00:14:39thirteen different guys?
00:14:41Yeah.
00:14:42Spread out over the years,
00:14:43that's not so many.
00:14:46Aren't you gonna answer
00:14:46the question?
00:14:51Two, okay?
00:14:54Two?
00:14:55That's it?
00:14:56That's it?
00:14:56You know,
00:14:57some of us actually believe
00:14:58in having full relationships.
00:14:59I know that might be hard.
00:15:00Hey, I believe in relationships.
00:15:01Mine just happen
00:15:02to be short ones.
00:15:05I'm sorry.
00:15:05I just can't...
00:15:06You're like a whore.
00:15:10Excuse me?
00:15:11You are.
00:15:12Thirteen.
00:15:12Jesus Christ.
00:15:13Give me a break.
00:15:16So were you popular
00:15:17in high school?
00:15:18What do you think?
00:15:21I guess that's a no.
00:15:22I don't need this shit.
00:15:23I really don't.
00:15:24I happen to have been
00:15:25very popular in high school.
00:15:26I was an artist.
00:15:27I used to draw
00:15:28all the pretty girls.
00:15:29I used to make them
00:15:29look even better
00:15:30than they did.
00:15:31They all loved me.
00:15:32No, they didn't sleep with me,
00:15:33but they loved me.
00:15:35But how about you?
00:15:36You were probably
00:15:36real popular
00:15:37with that attitude.
00:15:38You must have been
00:15:38like the girls from Carrie.
00:15:40Nope.
00:15:41No.
00:15:41I had huge bug teeth
00:15:43and bony knees
00:15:44and I slouched
00:15:45because I was trying
00:15:45to hide the fact
00:15:46that I hadn't grown
00:15:46any boobs yet.
00:15:48And my hair was all stringy
00:15:49and everybody called me
00:15:50horse face.
00:15:51Horse face?
00:15:52Yeah, it suits you.
00:15:54Oh, you think so?
00:15:54Oh, I like it, yeah.
00:15:55You like it?
00:15:56Yeah.
00:15:56It's the longest kiss
00:15:57you've ever had.
00:15:59The longest kiss?
00:16:01Yeah, but you know what?
00:16:02Don't tell me.
00:16:02It'll just make me jealous.
00:16:03Just make sure
00:16:04this one's longer, okay?
00:16:06Adam was unlike any guy
00:16:14I'd ever known.
00:16:16We were instant best friends.
00:16:18Two people who understood
00:16:19each other without having
00:16:20to say a word.
00:16:22It wasn't like that at all
00:16:23in my first relationship.
00:16:27I guess it was sort of
00:16:27a bad idea to give up
00:16:29my virginity to my
00:16:30high school French teacher.
00:16:31If two people
00:16:38who want to be
00:16:39a couple of them
00:16:40it is good
00:16:41when they are making
00:16:41love with each other
00:16:42because they feel nice.
00:16:43Compris?
00:16:45What?
00:16:46Let's make love.
00:16:47Oh, we will,
00:16:50Mr. Beaux-Zard.
00:16:51I promise.
00:16:53I don't think
00:16:54I can tonight, though.
00:16:55I'm not really ready yet.
00:16:57You are not ready
00:16:59because you feel
00:16:59you and I do not have
00:17:00the quality of life
00:17:01together with each other.
00:17:02I am sad for this.
00:17:04What?
00:17:05Let's make love,
00:17:06Sherry, please.
00:17:07I'm waiting for so long.
00:17:10Will it hurt?
00:17:11To not be scary.
00:17:13I am there
00:17:13for you needing me.
00:17:16What?
00:17:16Mr. Beaux-Zard?
00:17:28Me?
00:17:28Are you doing it?
00:17:30Me?
00:17:31I can't believe it.
00:17:33This was supposed to hurt.
00:17:35Maybe it's because
00:17:36I've ridden horses
00:17:36all my life.
00:17:38Are you smaller
00:17:39than most guys?
00:17:43My older man
00:17:44daddy phase
00:17:45continued on
00:17:45past high school
00:17:46and right into college.
00:17:48I was not a very
00:17:49evolved person
00:17:49by the time
00:17:50I ran into Eric.
00:17:58Are you okay?
00:17:58Are you blind?
00:17:59Are you out of your mind?
00:18:01What's wrong with you?
00:18:01This is a brand new car.
00:18:03Oh, my God.
00:18:04Well, you could have
00:18:04fucking killed me.
00:18:05What are you doing?
00:18:06Hey, hey, hey.
00:18:07Okay, shh.
00:18:08I said I'm sorry, all right?
00:18:09This is our money.
00:18:10I said I'm sorry.
00:18:10I didn't see you.
00:18:12You didn't see me?
00:18:13I didn't see you.
00:18:13Were you painting
00:18:14your fucking toenails?
00:18:15Hey!
00:18:15Listen, fuckface!
00:18:17I didn't see you, okay?
00:18:18I didn't wake up this morning
00:18:19and then go,
00:18:20oh, gee, today's today.
00:18:21I'm gonna crash into
00:18:22some fucking upside yuppie,
00:18:23all right?
00:18:24You know what, lady?
00:18:25Fuck you, okay?
00:18:26Fuck you.
00:18:26Fuck you!
00:18:27Oh, yeah?
00:18:29Oh, shit!
00:18:30Fuck!
00:18:31Fuck!
00:18:31All right?
00:18:32There!
00:18:32You didn't see that?
00:18:33Here.
00:18:34Hey, how's that?
00:18:35Hey!
00:18:35Take that?
00:18:36Okay, break it up.
00:18:37Break it up.
00:18:38Shut up!
00:18:39Hands behind your head!
00:18:40Hey, fire, you're back.
00:18:41Get up!
00:18:41Get up!
00:18:42Get up!
00:18:43Get up there!
00:18:46You know, I think we got off on the wrong foot.
00:18:48The wrong foot?
00:18:49He just beat the shit out of my car!
00:18:52I'm sorry about that.
00:18:53Let's just, maybe we can start over again, all right?
00:18:56What, you got any plans for dinner tonight?
00:18:58You know, after we make bail?
00:18:59So, this is where writers hang out, huh?
00:19:07Mm-hmm.
00:19:10What do you write about?
00:19:11I'm working on a novel between my journalism classes at UCLA.
00:19:14Ooh.
00:19:15Novel, huh?
00:19:16Mm-hmm.
00:19:17What's it about?
00:19:18Death.
00:19:20Oh.
00:19:21That sounds interesting.
00:19:25So, what do you do?
00:19:25I work a lot with big red-ass monkeys.
00:19:31It's a band, you know.
00:19:33You know the band?
00:19:34Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun.
00:19:35Big red-ass monkeys are here.
00:19:37I direct music videos.
00:19:38Isn't that the one where the, uh, naked girl swims with a chimp?
00:19:42Eight.
00:19:43Right eight.
00:19:44Right.
00:19:45I guess chimps don't have the big red asses.
00:19:48I don't know.
00:19:49I never check.
00:19:49I don't know.
00:19:50I never check.
00:19:55I think maybe I could kiss you.
00:20:03Maybe later.
00:20:04Maybe later when?
00:20:06Maybe later, like, in five seconds.
00:20:09Five, four, three, two, one.
00:20:13I love to kiss you.
00:20:41Ah!
00:20:42Ah!
00:20:43Ah!
00:20:44Ah!
00:20:45Ah!
00:20:46Ah!
00:20:47Ah!
00:20:48Ah!
00:20:49Ah!
00:20:50Ah!
00:20:51Ah!
00:20:52Ah!
00:20:53Ah!
00:20:54Ah!
00:20:55Ah!
00:20:56Ah!
00:20:57Ah!
00:20:58Ah!
00:20:59Ah!
00:21:00Ah!
00:21:01Ah!
00:21:02I hate when that happens.
00:21:06A toast to our three-week anniversary.
00:21:10Mm-hmm.
00:21:11Oh.
00:21:12You know, I think this is the longest relationship I've ever been in.
00:21:17Well, I'm not counting Mr. Boisard, which lasted one semester.
00:21:20Oh, God, did I ever tell you...
00:21:21Could we not talk about your high school French teacher?
00:21:23It really disturbs me.
00:21:24Okay.
00:21:25Good.
00:21:26So, what about your last relationship?
00:21:27Oh, God, what about...
00:21:28Well, how long was it again?
00:21:29Five miserable years.
00:21:30I don't know.
00:21:31I don't know.
00:21:32I don't know.
00:21:33I don't know.
00:21:34I don't know.
00:21:35I don't know.
00:21:36I don't know.
00:21:37What do you have in common?
00:21:38Nothing.
00:21:39What do we have in common?
00:21:40We have a lot in common.
00:21:41Like what?
00:21:42Like...
00:21:43How many people do you know who can comfortably have sex in public places?
00:21:44Every guy I've ever met.
00:21:45Morning.
00:21:46What?
00:21:48You know what day today is, don't you?
00:21:49Sunday morning.
00:21:50My turn.
00:21:51I thought it was my turn.
00:21:52No.
00:21:53I thought it was my turn.
00:21:54Nope.
00:21:55I mean, not like look.
00:21:56I mean, I told you what's going on.
00:21:57I think it was a lot and I don't think it was my turn.
00:21:59What?
00:22:00You know what day it is.
00:22:01I think it's got a lot on that.
00:22:02I don't know.
00:22:03All right.
00:22:04What do we have in common?
00:22:05Not like look like.
00:22:06What do we have in common?
00:22:07We have a lot in common.
00:22:08Like what?
00:22:09How many people do you know who can comfortably
00:22:10have sex in public places?
00:22:11I thought it was my turn.
00:22:14Nope. It's my turn.
00:22:20You know what? This game is idiotic.
00:22:23It's not spontaneous. It's scheduled.
00:22:25That's not true. You see, scheduled spontaneity is the key to long-term love.
00:22:33Don't look so happy.
00:22:36I like Sundays.
00:22:41Careful, careful.
00:22:49I'm not getting that.
00:22:51They can wait. Come on.
00:22:54You get it or you're not getting it.
00:22:56I can't get it.
00:23:03I'll be back.
00:23:05I'm not getting it.
00:23:11Don't think I'm going to lose your concentration, okay?
00:23:13Oh, where are you going, huh?
00:23:15Oh, now you want some, don't you?
00:23:17All right, let's hold that thought, okay?
00:23:19Daddy!
00:23:23Daddy, guess what?
00:23:24I got a kitty and I need him.
00:23:25We're gonna go. Come on, sweetie. Come with Mommy.
00:23:26Come on, sweetie. Come with Mommy.
00:23:27That's not what it looks like.
00:23:28I can explain this.
00:23:29Mel, will you wait?
00:23:30Mel!
00:23:32Kate!
00:23:33Kate!
00:23:34Okay, Kate!
00:23:35Will you come back?
00:23:36Will you stop? Will you stop?
00:23:39Will you stop?
00:23:40What are you?
00:23:41I understand how you feel, okay?
00:23:43No, no. No, you don't.
00:23:44You have no idea how anyone feels you're a sociopath.
00:23:46Look, I'm planning on getting a divorce.
00:23:48Don't ever touch me.
00:23:51Kate!
00:23:52Mommy!
00:23:55Even when bad relationships end,
00:23:57the pain can be severe enough to screw you up for years.
00:24:00We all pick up a little baggage after every breakup.
00:24:03The hope is that when the bags start to accumulate,
00:24:06we're still able to drag them into the next relationship.
00:24:09Fortunately, when Adam and I moved in together,
00:24:11my carry-on baggage was fairly light.
00:24:17Hey, let's put that one in the bedroom.
00:24:18I was gonna put Paul's entrails in the bedroom.
00:24:20No, no, no, it's better for the bathroom.
00:24:22If you wanna be obvious.
00:24:24Okay.
00:24:25Whatever you want.
00:24:26I love you, horse face.
00:24:29I love you, too.
00:24:30I love you.
00:24:31I mean, I love you more than I've ever loved anybody ever.
00:24:33In my life.
00:24:34Where are you going?
00:24:35Kate?
00:24:36Oh, God.
00:24:37Okay, say it.
00:24:38Why do you want me to say it again?
00:24:40Because it was cute, and I want that cute moment saved forever.
00:24:55Honey, it's not gonna sound cute.
00:24:56It's gonna sound forced, and I'm irritated.
00:24:58So could we just...
00:24:59Just say it.
00:25:00Just say it.
00:25:01I love you.
00:25:04Horse face.
00:25:05I love you, horse face.
00:25:07I love you, too.
00:25:08Now, strip.
00:25:09Strip?
00:25:10Strip.
00:25:11Put the toy away and we'll...
00:25:12Come on.
00:25:14Don't poke the bear in the zoo.
00:25:15Come on.
00:25:16Don't poke the bear in the zoo.
00:25:17Take it off.
00:25:18Come on.
00:25:19Don't poke the bear in the zoo.
00:25:20Whip it out.
00:25:21Not at all.
00:25:25Yeah, hey.
00:25:29Yeah, once I was a boogie singer.
00:25:34Playing in a rock and roll band.
00:25:38But I never had no problems, yeah.
00:25:42Burning down the one night stands.
00:25:46With everything around me, yeah.
00:25:51I got to start to feeling so low.
00:25:55And I decided quickly.
00:25:57Yes, I did.
00:25:59To disco down and check out the show.
00:26:03Yeah, they were dancing and singing
00:26:05and moving to moving into spring.
00:26:10When you finally get to share your lonely bed
00:26:12with the one you love,
00:26:14life just doesn't get any better.
00:26:17Oh, God.
00:26:19Okay.
00:26:20Don't do it without me.
00:26:21Stop.
00:26:22Stop it.
00:26:23Come on.
00:26:25That's the first time you...
00:26:26That was your first fart.
00:26:27Come here, baby.
00:26:28That was your first fart.
00:26:30You do love me.
00:26:31Don't blame it on me.
00:26:33That's so cute.
00:26:34You're embarrassed.
00:26:35Come here.
00:26:36Come here.
00:26:37That was a woman who's ever farted in front of me before.
00:26:39I know the light of the moon.
00:26:42Mother Earth.
00:26:44Will fall asleep so soon.
00:26:47Dream of many a thing.
00:26:50Before.
00:26:52She'll slowly wake up a man.
00:26:55We'll have to hurry for a morning train.
00:27:00Cause neither one girl from who slept again.
00:27:04And when the day is done, the battle's won.
00:27:08But she'll never know what's going on.
00:27:13Get up and get up.
00:27:15Get up and come.
00:27:16Stay down, get up and come.
00:27:17Stay down, get up and come.
00:27:19Hello, dear.
00:27:20Hi.
00:27:30Hi.
00:27:37Hi.
00:27:38What?
00:27:39What?
00:27:40Why are you smiling at me like that?
00:27:42Because it's our one-year anniversary.
00:27:44You should be smiling, too.
00:27:47I guess so.
00:27:49Come here.
00:27:50Come on.
00:27:53No.
00:27:53Come here.
00:27:55Come on.
00:27:55Are you a grouchy little bunny?
00:27:56Yeah.
00:27:57Yeah.
00:27:59Well, I'm going to be taking you someplace very special today.
00:28:02Where?
00:28:03Well, it's a surprise.
00:28:05Now go fill me a tub and I'll take you.
00:28:07Now?
00:28:08In the middle of the day?
00:28:08I'm feeling very, very dirty.
00:28:10I need a tub.
00:28:12Forget it.
00:28:13It's our anniversary.
00:28:14Can you just fill me a tub?
00:28:16Come on, you big grouch.
00:28:17Just go.
00:28:18My God.
00:28:19It sounds like pulling teeth with you to get anything.
00:28:25Oh, my God.
00:28:26Pew!
00:28:30Are you insane?
00:28:31What are we going to do with all these kitties?
00:28:33I don't know.
00:28:33What makes you, I figured?
00:28:35What are they doing in there?
00:28:37What are you doing?
00:28:38They like you, obviously.
00:28:39This one's Louie, this one's Murray, this one's Steve, and this one is Mordecai.
00:28:44I got them from the Chinese restaurant.
00:28:49Hi, Mommy.
00:28:51Hello.
00:28:52Aren't I cute?
00:28:53Hi.
00:28:55You're my new mommy now.
00:28:56But the other 13 guys you slept with think it's your litter and cute little kitties like,
00:29:01this, this day.
00:29:02I'm pregnant.
00:29:06You're, really?
00:29:08I took the little stick test this morning and it turned pink.
00:29:12Pink?
00:29:12Is it, isn't it supposed to be like a plus sign?
00:29:15Believe it or not, Adam, I know how to pee on the stick and read directions.
00:29:18Well, I thought we were being safe.
00:29:24Yeah, I guess not safe enough.
00:29:28God, we hardly know each other.
00:29:30We know each other.
00:29:32I just don't know if I'm ready to be a mother, Adam.
00:29:34I'm too confused, too immature, too messy.
00:29:39Well, what about abortion?
00:29:40Did you ever think about that possibility?
00:29:44I, I just, I never thought this would happen to me.
00:29:52I, I don't know what to do.
00:29:53Okay, baby, here, come here.
00:29:55Don't worry, okay?
00:29:57A lot of people think this is the world's greatest anniversary present.
00:30:01Really?
00:30:02What do you think?
00:30:03I'll tell you what I think.
00:30:04I think that our baby would be the cutest little thing that ever walked around in poopy pants.
00:30:11You wouldn't be scared.
00:30:13Of what?
00:30:14Of doing the most natural thing in the world.
00:30:17Of bringing a gorgeous little brilliant little genius into the world.
00:30:21No.
00:30:22No, I wouldn't be scared at all.
00:30:23What if it wasn't a gorgeous genius?
00:30:25What if it was an ugly little girl?
00:30:27Well, I guess we just have to pray to God that the baby takes after me.
00:30:35We can name it Ned, right?
00:30:37After my grandfather.
00:30:38What if it's a little girl?
00:30:39Nadina, you call it.
00:30:41Now, this one needs to be changed.
00:30:42I want you to practice and show me what a good mom you're going to be.
00:30:46God, my stomach is huge.
00:30:50I look like Buddha.
00:30:51That doesn't change.
00:30:53You're the same as you've always been.
00:30:55So, what was that, a Buddha gut?
00:30:58You calm down.
00:30:59You've been pregnant a month.
00:31:00The baby's the size of a sea monkey.
00:31:02Pretty soon you're going to get swallowed a Volkswagen.
00:31:03Yeah, well, you have an abnormally large head.
00:31:07Come on, horse face.
00:31:07Get over here.
00:31:09Come on.
00:31:13Let's see what we got here.
00:31:16Oh, yeah.
00:31:17Uh-huh.
00:31:18Yeah.
00:31:18Ned says he wants a wound with a view.
00:31:21Ned's not very funny.
00:31:22Well, Ned's just a fetus.
00:31:24We should cut Ned a little slack.
00:31:25And I think you're more beautiful than ever.
00:31:30Forget what you don't have.
00:31:49Okay.
00:31:50Forget that you don't.
00:31:53Okay.
00:31:55Just forget it.
00:31:57Okay.
00:31:58Okay.
00:32:00Forget that you're afraid.
00:32:04Forget that you are.
00:32:06Kate?
00:32:08You okay, baby?
00:32:14Okay?
00:32:16What's wrong, baby?
00:32:17What's wrong?
00:32:22I'm bleeding.
00:32:24No, something's wrong.
00:32:26Okay, okay, okay, okay.
00:32:28Something's wrong.
00:32:29Okay, okay.
00:32:30Okay, we're going to get up.
00:32:31Get up.
00:32:31Get up.
00:32:33Here we go.
00:32:34Where's your row, baby?
00:32:35Where's your row?
00:32:37Okay, okay, okay.
00:32:38Okay.
00:32:38Okay.
00:32:38Don't worry, it's alright.
00:32:39Don't worry.
00:32:40It's alright.
00:32:40It's alright.
00:32:45We're all in the dark, looking for the light.
00:32:48The light.
00:32:50Don't worry, forget that you can't love, forget that you can, just forget it.
00:33:09Do you think it's possible to love the same person forever?
00:33:13Sure, don't you?
00:33:15I don't know, I haven't seen a relationship that didn't end in one way or another.
00:33:19What about your parents, they've been together 35 years?
00:33:22Yeah, they've lived in the same house for that long, I don't think they've said I love you for at least 20 of those years.
00:33:27Well, maybe that's human nature, you spend that much time around a person, saying I love you is probably just like saying you're a cheese sandwich.
00:33:35I kind of hope not.
00:33:39Katie?
00:33:40Hmm?
00:33:41I cheese sandwich you.
00:33:44Cheese sandwich you too?
00:33:47The longer you're with the same person, the more annoying they'll become. You'll become annoying too. So if you want everything to be perfect all the time, don't bother having a relationship.
00:34:09Did you see that little old lady?
00:34:12Yeah.
00:34:13Didn't she look sad on one way?
00:34:15I don't know, she was hunched over and I get a good look. I need some shoes.
00:34:18Her eyes are so hollow.
00:34:20She's old, all old people have hollow eyes, especially old women.
00:34:23What?
00:34:24Can we go in here?
00:34:25Wait, what do you mean especially old women?
00:34:28That's a fact, women don't age as well as men.
00:34:31How could you say that?
00:34:32How many 50 year old women do you see with 20 year old guys?
00:34:35That's a societal double standard, that's got nothing to do with fat.
00:34:38Who looks better, Sean Connery or Shelley Winters?
00:34:41Ugh.
00:34:42It's just nature, men have thicker skin, that's why women wrinkle more.
00:34:45Shut up.
00:34:46I know what this is about, you're a woman you're afraid of becoming obsolete.
00:34:49You get in an age where men are starting to notice younger girls, it's freaking you out.
00:34:52Yeah, well you're going bold.
00:34:58I have the keys.
00:34:59Where you going?
00:35:11I got one.
00:35:12What do you have?
00:35:13Yeah, I just wonder about topless female ninjas.
00:35:15Alright, well, let's just get one, okay?
00:35:18Cause we'll forget to return them and it'll be like $800 for two movies.
00:35:21And, uh, which one do you want to get?
00:35:24That's right.
00:35:25Now, you've seen it 50 times and every time you see it you get depressed.
00:35:28I like being depressed.
00:35:29It makes me feel deep and introspective.
00:35:31You want to see what this is about?
00:35:33Okay, maybe you might like it.
00:35:34Nasty naked ninjas infiltrate the mob and take over Little Italy, nunchucking their way to Mafia Don Guido Mantucci.
00:35:40Wow, that sounds incredible.
00:35:42Why do you have to come from that place?
00:35:45You know what I mean?
00:35:46You think I want to go home and snuggle and read subtitles and watch in black and white?
00:35:51Can we ever go to a goddamn video store without getting into an argument?
00:35:54Not as long as you have such shitty taste in movies.
00:35:56I don't have shitty taste in movies.
00:35:58How can you not appreciate German expressionism?
00:36:00I love German expressionism.
00:36:01Right.
00:36:02What I don't like is what you turn into when you watch that damn movie.
00:36:04If you start getting all fixated on death, like I'm gonna die, you're gonna die, the cats are gonna die, everybody's gonna die.
00:36:07Fuck!
00:36:08Fine, fine!
00:36:09You watch your stupid titty movie, I'll watch my death movie.
00:36:11Don't turn yours, don't turn mine.
00:36:13Fine.
00:36:14It's her birthday, one of these should be free.
00:36:19Romance.
00:36:20The most important part of keeping a good relationship going.
00:36:27Be sure to treasure each one of those intimate moments you share together in bed.
00:36:31We haven't had sex in a while.
00:36:33Hm?
00:36:34We haven't had sex in like three weeks.
00:36:37Mm-hmm.
00:36:38You're not even listening to me.
00:36:40No, I wasn't.
00:36:41I said we haven't had sex in like three weeks.
00:36:44Well, maybe it's because you clip your toenails in our bed.
00:36:49What's the real reason?
00:36:52I don't know.
00:36:54Do you want to have sex right now?
00:36:58No.
00:36:59No, do you?
00:37:00No.
00:37:01Is there something wrong with us?
00:37:02I don't know.
00:37:03Maybe we should force ourselves.
00:37:06What, like mutual rape?
00:37:07Yeah, it might turn us on.
00:37:08Hm.
00:37:09I'm tired.
00:37:10Yeah, me too.
00:37:11Love you.
00:37:12Love you.
00:37:13Love you too.
00:37:14Love you too.
00:37:15Don't do that.
00:37:16I don't care about you.
00:37:17You know how you do it.
00:37:18Oh, you know how you do it.
00:37:19You know how you do it.
00:37:20I don't care about you.
00:37:21It's okay, maybe we just can't do this.
00:37:22It's okay.
00:37:23It's okay.
00:37:24Why you're right now?
00:37:25I thought it was really good.
00:37:26You know how you do it?
00:37:27I don't care about you.
00:37:28I don't care about you.
00:37:29I mean, I'm tired.
00:37:30Yeah.
00:37:31I mean, I'm tired.
00:37:32Yeah, me too.
00:37:34Love you.
00:37:36Love you too.
00:37:38Love you too.
00:37:39Don't do that, you know how much that bugs me.
00:37:52I said don't!
00:37:54Tward of God, you do that one more time, I'm gonna scream.
00:38:06I think it's over.
00:38:17What's over?
00:38:19Us, I think we're done.
00:38:22What are you saying?
00:38:24I think I need to break up.
00:38:29What did you just say?
00:38:31I said I think we should break up.
00:38:33No, no, no, no, no.
00:38:34You said you need to break up.
00:38:36What's the difference?
00:38:37There's a huge difference.
00:38:38I mean saying we should break up, that implies that it's somewhat mutual.
00:38:41If you need to break up, that means you're ending it.
00:38:43Are you ending it?
00:38:44I don't know.
00:38:45Yeah, I guess so.
00:38:48Have you met someone else at Mark Gruby?
00:38:51No, no.
00:38:52No, nothing like that.
00:38:54It's just I feel like we're just turning into this old married couple.
00:38:58Oh God.
00:38:59It's the 13 guy thing, isn't it?
00:39:01No.
00:39:02No, no, that's what it is.
00:39:03Just shut up.
00:39:04I mean, no.
00:39:05You've been obsessed with my past since our first date.
00:39:06Now you want to start racking them up.
00:39:07Don't you make it even.
00:39:08Can you shut up about that?
00:39:09It's not the 13 guys, okay?
00:39:10I'm over that.
00:39:11I dealt with that.
00:39:12It's a non-issue, I promise you.
00:39:14Then why?
00:39:15Why now?
00:39:16I don't know.
00:39:17It's just I've never been single.
00:39:19You know, I've spent my whole life going from one relationship to another and I've never
00:39:24been alone.
00:39:25Do you realize what you're saying?
00:39:27Do you realize what this means?
00:39:29What does this mean?
00:39:31It means this is it, the end.
00:39:34That once it's over, it's over.
00:39:36Yeah, I guess so.
00:39:38But I mean, it's not like we won't still be friends, you know?
00:39:42Who said anything about being friends?
00:39:44Come on, we love each other.
00:39:45I don't want to lose you for my life.
00:39:47Yeah, I think you should know that when you get to number 13, I won't be sitting here
00:39:50waiting for you, okay?
00:39:51Well, you give that up.
00:39:52It's not about that, okay?
00:39:53This thing isn't working for either of us.
00:39:55I mean, you're not happy, are you?
00:39:56No, I'm not happy.
00:39:57Okay, so neither of us are happy.
00:39:59You know what?
00:40:00You're right, I'm miserable.
00:40:01You know, I've been in absolute fucking hell for a really long time now.
00:40:04You're packing my laundry now.
00:40:05That would be the best thing in the world for me.
00:40:07You know what?
00:40:09I feel good.
00:40:12No, I feel great.
00:40:14Come back to bed.
00:40:15Already, it's like a five million pound weight has been lifted off my head.
00:40:19Can't this wait?
00:40:20I can breathe.
00:40:21I can think.
00:40:22Like, all of a sudden life is clear.
00:40:24It's amazing.
00:40:25I am so happy.
00:40:27When I look back at the love I had with Adam, I see a pathetic potted plant that nobody bothered
00:40:32to water.
00:40:33It started out green and lush and eventually became a dried up little brown stick.
00:40:38Breaking up is like dying, slowly, with nobody around.
00:40:51That's why it's so important during that dark period to keep yourself busy doing the things
00:40:56that don't oppress you.
00:40:57Fuck me!
00:40:58Jesus!
00:40:59Kate!
00:41:00I can't believe it.
00:41:01Our relationship hasn't even started decomposing yet.
00:41:14Who's this?
00:41:15This is my friend Kate.
00:41:28Kate this is my friend Peaches.
00:41:33This must be the friend that you just broke up with.
00:41:36And this must be the friend that you just started fucking!
00:41:39Yeah.
00:41:45Hey, Jack.
00:41:48Wait, wait, wait, okay?
00:41:50Peaches! Oh, my God!
00:41:52What the fuck is that thing on your face?
00:41:54Just keep your voice down.
00:41:56What are you doing here? This is my movie!
00:41:58You came to my favorite movie to make out what someone called Peaches!
00:42:02How dare you!
00:42:03I wanna call you. Can I call you?
00:42:04No, no, no. I'm gonna get over you.
00:42:07And when I do, I'll call you.
00:42:09Honey, that could take days.
00:42:12Okay, let's see here.
00:42:14No, no.
00:42:16Ooh, that's hideous.
00:42:18Oh, here you go.
00:42:20Hey, how about this?
00:42:21No, that makes me look like a drug-addicted hooker.
00:42:24I wanna look great.
00:42:25Like a drug-addicted model.
00:42:27I don't see what the big deal is.
00:42:29It's only Sam's birthday party.
00:42:30Well, Adam's gonna be there.
00:42:32Okay, aren't you over him yet?
00:42:34Of course I am.
00:42:35I just want him to die a thousand deaths
00:42:37and he sees me with Jerome Davis tonight.
00:42:40Jerome Davis?
00:42:41Wait a minute.
00:42:42The perverted basketball player you dated
00:42:43who was obsessed with your ass?
00:42:47He was?
00:42:48Kate, you've got a great ass.
00:42:49I mean, you're a big woman,
00:42:50but your ass's no small and compact to fit your size.
00:42:53And yet, you wouldn't take your ass
00:42:56and put it on your short little friend over here.
00:42:58That'd be fuckin' huge.
00:43:00Oh, that's it.
00:43:01I'm gone.
00:43:02Oh, God.
00:43:07She comes to me with her mind on her sleeve.
00:43:17He tries to bleed with his heart.
00:43:23He comes to me with her mind on her sleeve.
00:43:30He tries to believe with his heart that don't need to be.
00:43:39Don't bring me down in the pain of life.
00:43:44Don't you know that we can save the life?
00:43:48Oh, my friends never have to stay.
00:43:53I'll reach you there with the star of my name.
00:44:00Back in the sky.
00:44:05Back in the sky.
00:44:09Back in the sky.
00:44:16Hey.
00:44:17I thought it was you.
00:44:18Hey.
00:44:19Hey.
00:44:21Hi.
00:44:22It's great.
00:44:22I didn't expect to see you here.
00:44:23I didn't even know that Sam invited you.
00:44:25It feels silly.
00:44:26No, Mary invited me.
00:44:27Mary, yeah, because you know Mary.
00:44:29Of course.
00:44:29I don't know what I was thinking.
00:44:30That's great.
00:44:31That's good.
00:44:31It's nice to see you.
00:44:33Hi, Nate.
00:44:34Nice to see you again.
00:44:35I haven't seen you in a while.
00:44:37I've missed you.
00:44:38Yeah, it's been a long time.
00:44:40Yep.
00:44:41Yep.
00:44:42Yep.
00:44:42I'm sorry.
00:44:45Hi, I'm Adam.
00:44:45Oh, uh...
00:44:46What's up, Ed?
00:44:47Jerome.
00:44:48It's not Ad.
00:44:49It's Adam.
00:44:50I say, what's up?
00:44:51Sarah.
00:44:51Hey, hey, hey.
00:44:52Why don't I give you a call tomorrow, okay?
00:44:54Don't make this a weird thing.
00:44:55Hey.
00:44:56I'll call you tomorrow, okay?
00:44:57You can tell me all about the new girl.
00:44:58Give me a call tomorrow.
00:44:58Give me a call at Paige because my shit's blowing up now.
00:45:00Okay.
00:45:00Oh, okay.
00:45:02Yeah, why don't you call me?
00:45:03Okay, well.
00:45:04Just call me up.
00:45:05I'm running around a lot.
00:45:06I'll call you now.
00:45:06Star 82, so I know it's you because I'm screening, you know.
00:45:09Okay.
00:45:10Okay.
00:45:10Okay.
00:45:18Hey.
00:45:19Hey.
00:45:24That was really weird.
00:45:24I know.
00:45:25That was really weird.
00:45:26That's not cool, okay?
00:45:29So you're in love?
00:45:30I think I should be asking you that.
00:45:31Why should you ask me that question?
00:45:32Because you couldn't keep your tongue out of Lolita's mouth last night.
00:45:35Don't tell me about tongues, all right?
00:45:36I look like Michael Jordan was going to suck the tonsils out of your throat.
00:45:39Where'd you find that guy, anyway?
00:45:41You know, let's just knock it into one of these things, okay?
00:45:43I don't want it.
00:45:43You're the one that's bringing it up, okay?
00:45:45I'm ready to be mature.
00:45:46Me, too.
00:45:46Okay?
00:45:49But how can you go out that freak of nature?
00:45:50How do you cry with such a bimbo?
00:45:52Savannah is not a bimbo.
00:45:52She happens to play the harp.
00:45:54Oh, excuse me.
00:45:56A bimbo savant.
00:45:57Yeah, at least I'm not having a fucking hot tub party with Dennis Rodman.
00:46:00I can't believe you're jealous.
00:46:02I'm not jealous.
00:46:02Yeah, but you are.
00:46:03Stop, okay?
00:46:04I don't like her.
00:46:05I don't love her.
00:46:05I'm probably not even going to see that girl again, be honest.
00:46:08Hi.
00:46:09Hey.
00:46:11Hi.
00:46:11Hey, I was waiting for you.
00:46:12Wow.
00:46:13It was supposed to be noon, right?
00:46:15It was supposed to be...
00:46:16Well, my harp listened in it early, so I bought myself some new underwear.
00:46:19Okay.
00:46:21I'm Savannah.
00:46:23Hey, I know.
00:46:24Adam told me all about you last night.
00:46:26Really?
00:46:26Uh, Savannah, why don't you, um, why don't you go back to the coffee shop and wait for
00:46:31me?
00:46:31I'll be there at noon.
00:46:32Oh.
00:46:32Okay?
00:46:32And go get me a mochaccino.
00:46:34Okay?
00:46:34Great.
00:46:34No problem.
00:46:35I'll let you two catch up.
00:46:36Nice meeting you, Cynthia.
00:46:37It's Kate.
00:46:38Oh.
00:46:39I met Kate.
00:46:41Okay.
00:46:41Okay.
00:46:42Bye-bye.
00:46:51Okay.
00:46:52Okay.
00:46:52Bye-bye.
00:46:53I didn't feel good.
00:46:57That felt really bad.
00:46:59I know.
00:46:59I'm sorry.
00:47:00No, no.
00:47:00Don't be.
00:47:01I mean, it's the kind of thing we have to get used to, you know?
00:47:03I have to go and throw up now.
00:47:04Don't, uh, Kate.
00:47:05Okay, I miss you so much.
00:47:07All right?
00:47:08You're, you're my best friend.
00:47:11You're the only one I feel normal around.
00:47:13I just...
00:47:13I know, I know, I know, I know.
00:47:14It's...
00:47:15Hopefully, over time, it's...
00:47:17So...
00:47:17This is all gonna work out.
00:47:18Yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:47:20I promise it will.
00:47:21We just have to let go of those old, you know, feelings we have for each other.
00:47:25Okay?
00:47:26Okay.
00:47:33So this Jerome guy, would he have, like...
00:47:35Was he just, like, huge?
00:47:38I just want to know, like, as a friend.
00:47:40Is that bad for a friend?
00:47:41Was it, like...
00:47:42Was it, like, oh, nice surprise, big?
00:47:44Or was it, like, you better just take me home now, big?
00:47:46Was it, like, I'm in over my head?
00:47:50Was it, I'm in over my head, babe?
00:48:02As you move on in your search for love, sex is the fastest way to erase the past.
00:48:06I promise you'll never leave me.
00:48:31I promise.
00:48:33I promise.
00:48:36What are you doing?
00:48:50What are you doing?
00:48:58Great.
00:48:59My only sex I've had in months is with you.
00:49:01Being single again may be difficult, but it can also be empowering.
00:49:19After my breakup, I got out of the house as often as I could, going to places that took
00:49:23my mind off my loneliness.
00:49:24Excuse me, I'm looking for sort of a joke gift for a friend of mine's birthday.
00:49:31What's the kinkiest stuff you have?
00:49:34Depends.
00:49:35You mean kinky up the butt kind of kinky, or just white bread kinky?
00:49:38Just white bread kinky, please.
00:49:41Dildo I'll.
00:49:43It's a butt plug.
00:50:03Some guys like to put it up their butts.
00:50:06All right, thanks.
00:50:16So, um, what's a nice girl like you doing at Earl's Pornorama?
00:50:21I'm here, uh, to buy a joke gift for a friend of mine, okay?
00:50:24I'm not here to talk to guys in trench coats.
00:50:27Why are you so nervous?
00:50:30Are you attracted to me?
00:50:31Oh, God, that is so arrogant.
00:50:35I-I just happen to be a little uncomfortable because I'm picking up plastic dicks with some
00:50:39guy at...
00:50:41Wait a minute.
00:50:44Don't I know you?
00:50:47Could be.
00:50:48Oh, God.
00:50:51Aren't you that guy, uh, aren't you in movies with, like, uh, topless ninja girls?
00:50:56Yeah, yeah, I've done a lot since then, though.
00:50:58That was some of my earlier stuff.
00:50:59I'm, I'm, um, I'm...
00:51:02Oh.
00:51:03I'm Joey Santino.
00:51:05I know.
00:51:06My, um, my ex-boyfriend forced me to watch all your movies.
00:51:10Forced you to?
00:51:11Yeah, well, he loves you.
00:51:14Yeah?
00:51:15Yes.
00:51:15Well, not after we fall in love, you won't.
00:51:18Oh, no.
00:51:19I don't date actors.
00:51:20Well, not after we fall in love.
00:51:22All over you are love for me.
00:51:32Song, the fields, the sky.
00:51:35I have often shadow over the sea.
00:51:39Song, the fields, the tide.
00:51:42Lay me down.
00:51:46Lay me down.
00:51:48Joey wasn't very bright, but I loved his innocence.
00:52:00I was going through my non-judgmental face,
00:52:02and I didn't want to push people away for saying the occasional stupid thing.
00:52:05I love you.
00:52:07We've only known each other for 14 hours.
00:52:09I know.
00:52:10I loved you in the first hour, but I waited 13 more to tell you.
00:52:14No, you just think you're in love with me because we've been having sex nonstop.
00:52:18How can you be so cynical?
00:52:22I mean, I've never felt this way in my entire life.
00:52:25You're the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me.
00:52:28You see, this is why I don't date actors.
00:52:31And you don't have to say you love me back,
00:52:32because I just want you to know how I feel.
00:52:37That's all.
00:52:38Okay.
00:52:40Unless you want to.
00:52:41I mean, I don't want to stop you from saying that you love me if you want to.
00:52:48Okay.
00:53:00I like you a lot, though.
00:53:03Yeah?
00:53:06Okay.
00:53:06Hello?
00:53:15Hey, it's me.
00:53:16Oh, hey, Adam.
00:53:17What's up?
00:53:18Nothing much.
00:53:19I haven't seen you in a couple weeks.
00:53:21Want to grab some dinner tomorrow night?
00:53:22Well, that's so sweet, but I can't.
00:53:24I'm going out.
00:53:25Oh?
00:53:25What about Friday?
00:53:26You want to see a movie on Friday?
00:53:28No, I can't.
00:53:28I'm going to Malibu for the weekend.
00:53:30Malibu?
00:53:31What's in Malibu?
00:53:32The big beach.
00:53:33Oh, yes, I saw that in the Thomas Guide once.
00:53:36Who are you going with?
00:53:38Just some guy you don't know him.
00:53:39He's got a house out there.
00:53:41Oh, you like him?
00:53:43What's with all the questions?
00:53:45No reason.
00:53:45I just want to know if you like this rich Malibu guy, is all.
00:53:48Yeah, I like him.
00:53:51You like him a lot?
00:53:53Yeah, he's nice.
00:53:57Hello?
00:53:58You love him?
00:54:00I think so, yeah.
00:54:02I mean, we've been spending almost every day together for the last couple of weeks.
00:54:06It's great.
00:54:06It's great for you.
00:54:07You know what?
00:54:08I got to run, because I got a date with an actress.
00:54:12You know?
00:54:12Okay.
00:54:13I'll call you when I get back, and we'll have lunch or something.
00:54:15Sure.
00:54:15Great.
00:54:16I can't take it.
00:54:38What?
00:54:38I can't take it.
00:54:39I can't.
00:54:39I cannot.
00:54:40I can't take it.
00:54:41I can't.
00:54:41I can't take it.
00:54:42Get in here.
00:54:42I just, I thought, you know, I just, I thought I was over you.
00:54:46I thought I was done.
00:54:47I was, oh, God, this is horrible.
00:54:49Oh, God.
00:54:50Just don't, don't, don't, don't go to Malibu.
00:54:52Please.
00:54:52Please don't go to Malibu.
00:54:53Are you out of your mind?
00:54:54This is a joke, right?
00:54:55This is not a joke.
00:54:56This is, this is, this is not.
00:54:58What's wrong with you?
00:54:59You've been dating women nonstop since we broke up.
00:55:01I know.
00:55:01This is the first guy I've even gotten close to in an entire year.
00:55:03I was wrong.
00:55:03What can I say?
00:55:04I was wrong.
00:55:04I was silly.
00:55:05I was stupid.
00:55:05I was wrong.
00:55:06I didn't know how I felt about you until tonight, until right now.
00:55:09What happened to the date with the actress?
00:55:10It's canceled.
00:55:11It's over.
00:55:11God, you shouldn't have, because Joey's on his way.
00:55:14Joey?
00:55:15His name is Joe?
00:55:16You're, how could you date a guy named Joey?
00:55:18Please don't date him anymore.
00:55:19Let's get back together again.
00:55:20I love you.
00:55:21Let's have babies.
00:55:22Would you stop acting like an insane person?
00:55:25Why don't you go home and relax or something?
00:55:26I love you.
00:55:26Let's get back together.
00:55:27No, go on your date.
00:55:27You'll be fine.
00:55:28It's just some weird thing.
00:55:29You know what?
00:55:29I'll go.
00:55:30Just, just, just, just tell me one thing.
00:55:31What?
00:55:32What's his last name?
00:55:35Just, what?
00:55:36Just tell me his last name.
00:55:37Um, Santino.
00:55:39Oh, Santino.
00:55:40That's, that's like Joey's.
00:55:45Not, Joey Santino the actor?
00:55:48My, the titty ninja?
00:55:50You fucking hate him!
00:55:51Actually, he's, he's really a very good actor.
00:55:54I mean, clearly you haven't seen any of his later work.
00:55:56What the fuck are you talking about his later work?
00:55:59Motherfucker, you haven't seen, oh my God, you're kidding me.
00:56:02How could you, he's, you, how do you?
00:56:05Adam, you have to go.
00:56:05Oh, you weren't supposed to fall in love.
00:56:08Oh, quit being such a hypocrite.
00:56:10A hypocrite?
00:56:10I'm not a, I'm a guy.
00:56:12I fuck.
00:56:13I don't fall in love.
00:56:14Well, maybe you don't.
00:56:15Oh, you think Mr. Italian, uh, fucking, uh, yeah, he's fucking you, he loves you?
00:56:20I don't think so.
00:56:21Whatever.
00:56:22You know what?
00:56:22I'm fucking out of here, all right?
00:56:25Fucking horse shit.
00:56:27Don't fucking call!
00:56:28I don't know what you're talking about.
00:56:58Are you Miss Kate Wells?
00:57:05Yeah.
00:57:07I have a message for you from Adam Levy.
00:57:09Even though we're only pals, only pals, only pals, I don't like the other gals.
00:57:17You're my baby.
00:57:19Don't go out with that dumb guy, that dumb guy, that dumb guy.
00:57:24If you do, I'll start to cry.
00:57:26You're my baby.
00:57:31Yeah.
00:57:33Mr. Levy would like you to have an autographed picture of himself and this.
00:57:41Hold on, it gets better.
00:57:43Cheese sandwich.
00:58:02Hello.
00:58:03Did the little guy sing?
00:58:05What do you think?
00:58:06You got my picture up?
00:58:08Adam.
00:58:09Next to the boys?
00:58:11Yes, I got the sandwich and I got your picture.
00:58:14Can you just stop torturing me?
00:58:15Come over.
00:58:17Get rid of him.
00:58:17We'll spork, we'll spoon, we'll do it all.
00:58:20Lay around like walruses all day.
00:58:22Adam.
00:58:23What are you wearing?
00:58:24God, it's beautiful here.
00:58:42Are you talking to me?
00:58:46Are you talking to me?
00:58:50There's nobody else.
00:58:51Are you talking to me?
00:58:54Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?
00:58:57Huh?
00:58:58De Niro.
00:59:00Right.
00:59:00De Niro, he's the best.
00:59:01I swear I love him.
00:59:03De Niro.
00:59:05Yeah, I mean, he's a good actor.
00:59:10Good.
00:59:13Good.
00:59:14We were talking about Robert De Niro here.
00:59:17Good.
00:59:19I mean, come on.
00:59:20He's a...
00:59:21You know, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, they're good, you know?
00:59:23Asparagus is good.
00:59:25De Niro, he's not.
00:59:27I mean, like, Cape Fear.
00:59:33Oh, counselor.
00:59:35Come out, come out wherever you are.
00:59:38See, I ain't no white trash piece of shit.
00:59:41I'm better than you all.
00:59:43See, I can out-learn you.
00:59:45I can out-read you.
00:59:46I can out-think you.
00:59:48And I can out-philosophyize you.
00:59:51And I'm gonna outlast you.
00:59:54Huh?
00:59:55Huh?
00:59:56That's good, right?
00:59:56And-and-and-and Raging Bull?
00:59:58Which-which is the greatest performance of all time?
01:00:02Get me down, Ray.
01:00:04Get me down.
01:00:06Hey.
01:00:07All right.
01:00:08Huh?
01:00:09I know the hymns.
01:00:12Why are you trying to ruin my relationship?
01:00:14Your nose is so cute.
01:00:16You never tried to get me back before.
01:00:18What ego trip are you on?
01:00:19Can I kiss it?
01:00:19What?
01:00:20Your nose.
01:00:21Adam, stop screwing up my life.
01:00:23I'm involved with somebody else.
01:00:25Marry me?
01:00:26Please.
01:00:27Are you listening to me?
01:00:28Yeah, I'm-listen-I get it.
01:00:29Don't worry.
01:00:30I broke up with you because I was inexperienced.
01:00:32You were the third relationship I was in.
01:00:34How was I supposed to know that that was gonna be the one?
01:00:36Adam.
01:00:36You had it so easy compared to me.
01:00:38I was number 14 for you.
01:00:39You were number three for me.
01:00:40Look, you-you can't-
01:00:41Just marry me.
01:00:42I-I'm sorry.
01:00:43I screwed up, all right?
01:00:44I can't live with this kind of mistake in my life.
01:00:46Don't you see this is really bad timing?
01:00:48You can't just wait until I'm-I'm heavily involved with somebody else
01:00:50to all of a sudden propose marriage or profess your love to me.
01:00:53I'll change.
01:00:54How does that sound?
01:00:55You know what?
01:00:55We're gonna make up a contract and everything you don't like about me,
01:00:57I'm gonna change.
01:00:58We're gonna make a-a death penalty.
01:00:59You're against it?
01:01:00I'm for it?
01:01:00I'm against it now.
01:01:01We're gonna go.
01:01:02We're gonna sing kumbaya.
01:01:02We're gonna do candlelight vigils at the prison.
01:01:04I don't want you to change.
01:01:05You know what?
01:01:06You're right.
01:01:06I'm not gonna change.
01:01:07I'm enough.
01:01:07And I learned that from you.
01:01:09You know what we're gonna do?
01:01:09We're gonna fly.
01:01:10We're gonna take trips.
01:01:11I'm gonna go to therapy.
01:01:12I'm gonna get over my fear of airplanes.
01:01:13And we're gonna go any place you wanna go.
01:01:14Adam, stop it.
01:01:16Stop it right now.
01:01:20All right.
01:01:20Look, let me just ask you then, just straight out, all kidding aside, Katie, will you marry
01:01:28me?
01:01:32No.
01:01:32Well, um, I, uh, I won't torture you anymore then.
01:01:39I, uh, you know, you're happy.
01:01:41I'm happy you're happy.
01:01:43I made you miserable and I'm sorry.
01:01:45No.
01:01:47No, but I just want you to know something, though.
01:01:50What?
01:01:52I, I, I can't be friends.
01:01:55I'm just, I'm too weak.
01:01:56Adam.
01:01:57I mean, I can't even be around you.
01:01:59I, I, you're sitting here and you're like this incredibly juicy ham sandwich that I just
01:02:04want to stuff in my mouth and I can't because, like, my, my lips are sewn shut.
01:02:08That's a pretty analogy.
01:02:09You know what I mean.
01:02:12Okay.
01:02:21Have a nice life.
01:02:23Don't say that.
01:02:24You know we'll see each other again.
01:02:27Yeah, right.
01:02:29Is infatuation love?
01:02:43No, but it feels like it is.
01:02:45All those chemicals pumping through your brain can turn every word he says into poetry.
01:02:49Did I ever tell you what I used to do to my little brother with dog shit?
01:02:52Mm-mm.
01:02:53Whenever he did something that I didn't like, I put dog shit under his pillow.
01:02:57I'd say, hey, Jimmy, let's play hide and go see.
01:02:59Go put your head under the pillow and count to 20.
01:03:01Mm-mm.
01:03:02Half the time you get to 10 before you realize what happened.
01:03:06Wow.
01:03:07Sounds pretty stupid.
01:03:09Jimmy?
01:03:09No, no.
01:03:10He's a, he's the smartest one of us kids.
01:03:12He's a lawyer now.
01:03:14Mm-mm.
01:03:14Now do you remember me?
01:03:23Mm-hmm.
01:03:25Relationships that are based entirely on sex end the minute the sex gets boring.
01:03:29So if you want it to last beyond boring sex, you'd better try to connect on a deeper level.
01:03:34I brought her some cheese sandwiches.
01:03:37Thanks.
01:03:37Do you think people can stay passionate about each other forever?
01:03:47Yeah.
01:03:48I mean, as long as they work on a relationship, you know, don't get fat.
01:03:53Yeah, I wonder.
01:03:54I'm not sure it's natural.
01:03:56I like to think it's possible, though.
01:03:58I mean, I, I, I think that over time we all tend to take each other for granted and
01:04:01after their years of staying together saying, I love you is like saying cheese sandwich,
01:04:07you know?
01:04:08Do you know that Robert De Niro is lactose intolerant?
01:04:18After the infatuation chemicals in my brain stopped multiplying, I began to get over my
01:04:22nonjudgmental phase.
01:04:26Joey and I were going to have a real conversation if it was the last thing we did.
01:04:31I'm going to die.
01:04:33Yeah.
01:04:35Are you listening to me?
01:04:37What?
01:04:39I'm going to die.
01:04:41When?
01:04:43Someday.
01:04:45Yeah, we're all going to die, okay?
01:04:47Watch the movie.
01:04:50Doesn't that bother you?
01:04:52I don't think about stuff like that.
01:04:54Well, why not?
01:04:55Shh.
01:04:55Kate, look, we're, we're, we're in the middle of the movie.
01:04:58Yeah, well, that's when I think about death the most.
01:05:00I look at all these people staring straight into the darkness and it freaks me out.
01:05:04Don't you get that?
01:05:05No, okay.
01:05:06I don't get that.
01:05:07I mean, why, why should I get that?
01:05:08I don't even want, I don't want to get that.
01:05:10Yeah, well, see, that's the problem.
01:05:12When two people are together, they're supposed to get each other.
01:05:14You don't get me, I don't get you.
01:05:17What?
01:05:17What the fuck are you talking about?
01:05:20You know what my problem is?
01:05:22I'm a floater.
01:05:24I float through life like a corpse on a river bumping into rocks and logs.
01:05:28I don't choose my path.
01:05:29I just bump into stuff.
01:05:31Like you.
01:05:32I bump into you in a porno store.
01:05:33Boom.
01:05:33I have sex with you.
01:05:34Boom.
01:05:35I'm in a relationship with you.
01:05:36Boom.
01:05:36I don't think.
01:05:36I just boom.
01:05:37Shut the fuck up.
01:05:38No, no, no, no.
01:05:39So, so that's what I am to you?
01:05:40I'm just some goddamn log you just bumped into at a porno store?
01:05:43Shh.
01:05:43You're wearing sunglasses in a movie theater.
01:05:45Their subscription.
01:05:47It's prescription, you idiot!
01:05:50Oh, okay.
01:05:51Mrs. Thesaurus.
01:05:53All right.
01:05:53I'm an idiot.
01:05:54You know, that's it.
01:05:55It's a...
01:05:56You know, hasta la vista, baby.
01:05:58Here's a man who would not take it anymore.
01:06:01You're all gonna die.
01:06:03Think about it.
01:06:04You're all gonna die, and nobody will ever remember you,
01:06:07because they'll all be dead, too!
01:06:08Excuse me!
01:06:09Hi, this is Adam.
01:06:16I'm not home, so leave a message after the beep.
01:06:20Hi.
01:06:20Um, it's me.
01:06:22Adam?
01:06:23Are you there?
01:06:27Hello, Kate?
01:06:28Hi.
01:06:29I didn't want to call anybody else.
01:06:32Oh, God.
01:06:34Are you okay?
01:06:35No.
01:06:36What's wrong, baby?
01:06:37We broke up.
01:06:39Oh, God.
01:06:40I broke up with Joey.
01:06:42Oh, that's horrible.
01:06:45I'm such a failure.
01:06:47Not a failure.
01:06:47I am.
01:06:48I'm a relationship leper.
01:06:49I'm not sure.
01:06:52You have more relationship potential than anybody that I know.
01:06:55Fuck potential.
01:06:56Anyone can have potential.
01:06:57What, are you kidding?
01:06:58Katie, your only problem is that you've had bad timing.
01:07:01Two people could be perfect for each other,
01:07:02and if the timing's wrong, it's never gonna work out for them.
01:07:05Bad timing's the reason that most normal people end up single.
01:07:09Normal people?
01:07:11Yeah, weirdos and creeps are single because they're weird and creepy,
01:07:13but people like us, you know, we're single because we're victims of bad timing.
01:07:17So when did you have things you've figured out?
01:07:21Since you fell in love, and I've had to lay in bed awake every night
01:07:24and wonder if I'd ever find anybody who I feel as normal with as I do with you.
01:07:36Bad timing, Adam.
01:07:37Bad timing's ever right.
01:07:46You just let me know, okay?
01:07:48Okay.
01:07:52How about now you think you're good?
01:07:54Okay, that's cool.
01:07:55Get as much time as you want.
01:07:56Love is ecstasy and agony.
01:08:11Freedom and imprisonment.
01:08:14Belonging and loneliness.
01:08:17It's what keeps us together when life tears us apart.
01:08:19So, when you find that perfect man, hold on tight.
01:08:29And then call me so I can run over there and see what he looks like
01:08:32and laugh because he doesn't exist, you sad, perky little optimistic suckers.
01:08:37I quit.
01:08:43I couldn't do the assignment.
01:08:45I felt like a fraud since my first day here.
01:08:47Everything I've written has been crap.
01:08:49And I'm a total sellout.
01:08:50I can't do it anymore.
01:08:52And I'm, you know, honestly, I'm sorry if I've caused you any problems, all right?
01:08:55Wait a minute.
01:08:58She's way too fat.
01:08:59Everything you've written here has been bullshit?
01:09:02Yep.
01:09:03Nothing has had even a single grain of truth in your eyes?
01:09:06Nothing.
01:09:06So then what you're saying is that your research on blowjobs being able to cure depression
01:09:10was completely made up.
01:09:13No, actually, that one was true.
01:09:15But it only works for the sucky.
01:09:17The sucker always stays depressed.
01:09:21I told you that.
01:09:36Hi.
01:09:41Hi.
01:09:42Hi.
01:09:43I'm, uh, I'm here.
01:09:44No, uh, actually, could I ask you a few questions?
01:09:47Is that okay?
01:09:49Um, sure.
01:09:50Yeah, go ahead.
01:09:52Are you married?
01:09:53No.
01:09:54Do you have any children you haven't told anyone about?
01:09:57No.
01:09:58Do you feel the need to sow your wild oats and have sex with a lot of different women?
01:10:02No.
01:10:03Are you a liar?
01:10:03Yes.
01:10:04Oh.
01:10:05Just kidding.
01:10:07Good.
01:10:08You got a sense of humor.
01:10:10That was my next question.
01:10:11Uh, can you listen?
01:10:13I'm sorry, what?
01:10:14You see, you see how I...
01:10:17No, you get it.
01:10:18Just one more, I promise.
01:10:20Uh, do you have a problem with complicated women?
01:10:23Nope.
01:10:25Great.
01:10:25Let's go.
01:10:27Um, may I, may I ask you one question?
01:10:30Oh, of course.
01:10:31I'm sorry.
01:10:31Ask anything you want.
01:10:33Have you allowed Jesus Christ into your heart?
01:10:37Oh, God!
01:10:38If I could have one moment of your time.
01:10:40No.
01:10:41Get out.
01:10:41May I?
01:10:42May I?
01:10:43No!
01:10:43Okay, but if the next knock is the devil...
01:10:46Go!
01:10:46Yes.
01:10:47Oh, listen.
01:10:48Hi.
01:10:48Have you allowed...
01:10:49Hey, go!
01:10:50Now!
01:10:54Hi.
01:10:54Are you Kate Wells?
01:10:56Yeah, and you're, um, Rob, right?
01:10:59That's right.
01:11:29Thanks a lot.
01:11:29Nice to meet you.
01:11:30It's a pleasure.
01:11:31Hi.
01:11:32Thanks a lot.
01:11:32Thanks a lot.
01:11:33Nice to meet you.
01:11:34Nice to meet you.
01:11:35It's a pleasure.
01:11:38Hi.
01:11:38Hi.
01:11:39Hi.
01:11:39Thanks for coming down.
01:11:39Thanks a lot.
01:11:48You're good.
01:11:52I'm nasty.
01:11:53Hi.
01:11:55I like my men good and nasty.
01:12:01You got a girlfriend?
01:12:03Yeah.
01:12:04Yeah, I do.
01:12:06She's on a date now.
01:12:08However...
01:12:09So where's your blind date?
01:12:39I told him I was sick.
01:12:41Oh, yeah.
01:12:41You're sick all right.
01:12:43Yeah, I've been wanting you back.
01:12:44Go down easy, babe.
01:12:52Go down slow.
01:13:00Take all the time you need.
01:13:04There's no place else to go.
01:13:11Wow.
01:13:13That was incredible.
01:13:15I am very proud of myself.
01:13:19I did good, right?
01:13:20Did I do good?
01:13:21Yeah, you did right.
01:13:22Mm-hmm.
01:13:23It was different.
01:13:23I surprised you.
01:13:24There's a couple of those things.
01:13:25I know it.
01:13:26You seem scared.
01:13:28But you learned that.
01:13:29That's all I had to know.
01:13:29We should break up more often.
01:13:32Mm-hmm.
01:13:34We shouldn't.
01:13:36All right.
01:13:37Get out.
01:13:45So with Joey, what is that now?
01:13:4616?
01:13:47Oh, shut up.
01:13:4715?
01:13:48No, seriously.
01:13:5015.
01:13:51I was 14.
01:13:52What about peaches?
01:13:53Tell me about peaches.
01:13:54Oh, God.
01:13:55No, I don't want to know about peaches.
01:13:56No, you do?
01:13:56No, I don't.
01:13:57Where do you think I learned that thing I did?
01:13:59People love you like a diamond in their hands.
01:14:04They don't know that diamond like I do.
01:14:09They put you up in the bluebird sky until they lose sight of you.
01:14:18People love you like a diamond in their hands.
01:14:24I always wanted to chase you down.
01:14:32Unlike many, I fell in love with you.
01:14:38And when you gave your heart back to me, I didn't know what to do.
01:14:46I always wanted to chase you down.
01:14:52Carry me, carry me back to your heart tonight.
01:15:05Carry me, carry me through this cold midnight.
01:15:14Carry me, carry me, carry me.
01:15:32I only wanted to hide.
01:15:36If you're living love, be strong
01:15:45And make sure you like someone
01:15:50Simple words and you made it for this morning
01:15:58Don't live too much, don't live too little
01:16:09Just make sure that you love the life you live
01:16:15If it only was that easy, I would show you try
01:16:22If it only was that easy, I would ever worry
01:16:33If there is a lie
01:16:36You couldn't choose who to be
01:16:50There's a difference between you and me
01:16:56Cause I love too much, sometimes too little
01:17:02I'm just happy I have a life to live
01:17:09If it only was that easy, I would show you try
01:17:17If it only was that easy, I would ever worry
01:17:27If it only was that easy, I would show you try
01:17:38Don't live too much, don't live too long
01:17:56Just make sure that you love the life you need
01:18:02If it only was that easy, I would show you try
01:18:09If it only was that easy, I would show you try
01:18:12If it only was that easy, I would show you try
01:18:19If it only was that easy, I would show you try
01:18:27I would try to try
01:18:31But it only was that easy