Sometimes it feels like it'd be much easier to go it alone...
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00:00When the odds are stacked against you in a video game, you really want somebody reliable in your
00:04corner. Someone to carry your burdens, even the score, and help you live another day.
00:09For every Marcus, there's a Dom. For every Ratchet, his Clank. Sadly though, not every pairing shares
00:15that special connection. Players need someone who's got their back in a firefight, not standing
00:20in front of them playing catch each shot with their face. Whether it be down to some misread
00:24programming or just good intentions gone wrong, companions can sometimes be more hindrance than
00:29help. I'm Jess from WhatCulture, and here are the 10 most unreliable video game companions ever.
00:36Number 10. Aerie. Bravely Default. Fairies or some kind of pixie companion that joins you on your
00:42journey feel like part of the framework for a lot of Eastern RPGs. I could list examples,
00:47but chances are you've already thought of one. You know, the annoying squeaky voice companions that
00:52get more insufferable as time goes on, much like Na'vi from Ocarina of Time. When it comes to Aerie
00:58from 3DS hit Bravely Default, however, she's not just an unreliable companion, she's also an
01:05unreliable narrator. In short, the fairy guides players to light crystal pillars throughout the
01:10land, apparently saving the world. Yet this creates a sort of parallel world slash time loop scenario,
01:17bringing you no closer to saving the proverbial day. Across the parallel worlds and as time goes on,
01:23characters will start to hint that the little fairy may not be all she appears. Which becomes apparent
01:29when our heroes break the cycle and a crystal halting the schemes of Aerie's master, Ouroboros.
01:35She's far from a sweet and innocent fairy when that happens, revealing her true nature in shocking
01:40form. Even the title screen alludes to this deception as time goes on, if players aren't getting it.
01:47Number 9. Any Survivor. Dead Rising. Frank West may have covered wars, you know,
01:52but nothing could prepare him for this. Not the zombie outbreak, he handles that quite well,
01:57surprisingly. No, I refer to the arduous task of making sure that people that he rescues actually
02:02make it to the rescue point. Now, it'd be fair to think that someone in need of rescuing would
02:07adhere to their saviour and follow their commands. Alright, some disarray and panic may ensue,
02:13yet in Dead Rising, where Frank can yell, follow me, and some will indeed follow, not all will.
02:19Some players might think, right, let's arm them, give them a fighting chance whilst they follow
02:23Frank. Turns out that's an even worse idea, as for some reason, a plank of wood turns them into a
02:29would-be Conan the Barbarian. Weird about the self-preservation instinct of a lemming.
02:34Like unsupervised kids in a playpen, taking your eyes off what a survivor's doing is lethal.
02:40Lose that focus and you'll be seeing, Sophie has died before you know it.
02:44At least the Pied Piper had it easy. The rats didn't mutiny or refuse to follow him to apparent
02:49safety. Number 8, Tails, Sonic 3 slash Sonic and Knuckles. In terms of companionship throughout
02:56the ages, Tails has proven most of his worth behind the scenes. The two-tailed tinkerer of a fox has
03:02helped Sonic and friends with aircrafts and ingenuity. It's when he's in the fray that he
03:07becomes a right little sh**. Sonic the Hedgehog games are largely about precision platforming.
03:13Not to the controller-crushing degree of Super Meat Boy, but it can be tricky enough in places that
03:18demand attention. So imagine the dismay on players' faces when you're soaring through the air,
03:23having nailed the timing, and Tails plucks you out of thin air in a vain attempt at helping.
03:28It kills the trajectory of the jump, and if you try to jump again, you may end up plummeting to your
03:33death. There's also the occasions when the AI fox hits a switch at the wrong time, resulting in a
03:38hedgehog pancake, because Tails has gone on without you. When a friend is playing, it's not so bad as
03:44you can coordinate, but much like another example later on, when the AI is in charge, all logic goes
03:50out the window. Stick to aircrafts and tinkering, Tails. Number 7, Dog Meat, Fallout 4. Dogs are generally
03:57considered to be man's best friend. You've got unwavering loyalty, a constant companion. You can't
04:03fault them. You can fault their digital counterparts, though, when they cause players to die umpteen
04:08times. Dog Meat, the stray that the player adopts early on in Fallout 4, is a prime example of this,
04:15prioritizing willful obedience over something as integral as longevity. You can't blame him,
04:21really. He's not going to know the difference between loyalty and suicidal tendencies, is he?
04:25At least that's the only reason I can think of as to why he'll charge into proximity minds if you
04:30accidentally direct him that way, all while he'll wander into your line of fire slash explosion in
04:36a valiant effort to defend you. Good thing there's no morality meter in this game, or players would
04:41seem like right bastards. It's not the end of the world if Dog Meat does catch some friendly fire or
04:46accidental blast radius. It's just a constant pain in the butt for players who have to wait until the
04:51battle is over to go pick his little fuzzy butt up. Immortal? Maybe. Annoying? Absolutely.
04:57Number 6. Trip. Enslaved Odyssey to the West. In this loose adaptation of the Chinese fable,
05:04the relationship between Tripitaka and Monkey is already strained from the start. Well,
05:09putting an explosive proximity-controlled device on someone and enslaving them tends to do that.
05:14But as the unlikely pair start to bond, Trip trusts Monkey to do the grunt work and scout out safe
05:20passage. Which is fine, except for when she decides not to follow and Monkey goes one step too far and
05:26explodes. It breaks the flow of the gameplay when players want to push forward and the fickle Tripitaka
05:31decides she won't climb that ledge and sets off the proximity popper on Monkey's brain case.
05:36Or when players are off exploring when the game allows some extra length,
05:40only to be cut short by Trip startling some enemies and getting herself kidnapped and taken out of range.
05:46Sure, there are times when the game calls for it, but at other times it's a right pain when your
05:50companion literally brings your progress to a halt. Why Monkey doesn't just carry her and chuck her in
05:56a bush when he needs to fight is beyond me. Number 5. Maria. Silent Hill 2. When it comes to survival
06:02horror, it's usually hard enough trying to keep the protagonist from meeting a terrible fate,
06:07let alone somebody else. If they can handle themselves, then it's the more the merrier,
06:12but as you've probably gathered from this list so far, it's not really the case here.
06:16James Sunderland is already having a right time of it in Silent Hill already. You know,
06:21what with that whole letter from a dead wife, geometric headed, relentless fiend in pursuit
06:25stick going on. What he doesn't need is a survivor with a death wish bigger than James' guilt complex.
06:31That'll make sense if he finished it. Escort missions are a burden most of the time anyway,
06:36but this one goes the extra mile. Should Maria take too much damage from either James or the
06:40manifestations that the titular town has conjured up, it can and will affect an ending.
06:46Which wouldn't be so bad if Maria didn't have an obnoxious habit of getting right in the way of
06:51James' flailing about in a fight. In a game like this with such sticky combat,
06:55it can be an extra contrivance to keep an eye on her.
06:58Number 4. Jung. Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas 2.
07:03In the world of highly trained special operatives sent into dangerous locales and volatile situations,
07:08you can expect your team to work as a well-oiled machine. But all that it takes is one loose
07:13cog to disrupt that flow, and that's where Jung Park comes in.
07:17When your team works well in the R6 Vegas games, it's great. The level of precision and tactics
07:22required to clear missions room by room is some of the slickest around, for its time. But keeping
07:27the protagonist alive isn't the player's only concern. They have to look after their team too.
07:33Your other companion, Walker, is self-sufficient and has the common sense to not get shot.
07:38Much. Not Jung, though. No, no. Take your eye off him, though, or leave him to what you'd think is
07:44taking out the enemy shooting at him, and you'll hear Jung down more often than you'd like to.
07:49Which is a good dozen more times than necessary. What makes it worse is if players have to risk
07:54themselves to pick the daft spot back up again. Repeatedly. Seriously, Jung could incapacitate
08:00himself in a room with a folding chair if you left him there.
08:02Number 3. Shiva. Resident Evil 5. Ashley Graham gets a load of flack in
08:08Resi 4, what with the annoying voice and the kidnaps, but that could be tolerated. Mostly.
08:14What she didn't do, however, was waste all of your precious ammo and healing items at every
08:18opportunity. No, that honor goes to Shiva Alomar, BSAA agent, Chris Redfield's partner,
08:24and all-round inconvenience when being handled by the AI.
08:28In human-controlled co-op, it's amazing to have another helping hand. It's when she's controlled
08:33by the AI that we run into problems. Normally, you'd think rationing out the firepower accordingly
08:39would be fair, and it would, but Shiva doesn't do normal. She'll waste a few magnum rounds on a
08:44standard enemy rather than the surplus handgun ammo she's carrying. But worse than wasting ammo is
08:50wasting your high-strength healing items instead. For example, if Chris takes a tiny bump or throwing
08:56axe to the head, that's nothing a little green herb can't fix. Yet, if Shiva's got a full-health-filling
09:01first-aid spray in her hands, she won't hesitate to use it. You literally have to run away and heal
09:07quicker than it takes your AI partner to catch up to you, which is worrying when there are bigger
09:12threats in the game.
09:13Number 2. Natalia, GoldenEye
09:15In Pierce Brosnan's first outing in GoldenEye, Natalia Simenova broke away from the Bond
09:21girl trope. Well, a bit. She still becomes a love interest by the end, but for the majority
09:25is a savvy foil to Brosnan's Bond. A survivor throughout, Natalia becomes integral to the
09:31spy's plan to thwart Trevelyan and the titular weaponized satellite device. In the video game
09:36tie-in on Nintendo 64, however, that logic didn't carry over. Rather than accepting that she's
09:42not a battle-trained agent, the polygonal counterpart would do her best to eat every bullet. It's
09:48almost like she took national patriotism too far, taking the bullet for each of her fellow
09:52countrymen over this English pig dog killing them all. Or at least that's what it felt like,
09:57as you attempt to clear the room of enemies intent on killing you both. You had to pick
10:01your shots carefully on these escort missions, as Natalia has an annoying habit of running in
10:06the way of fire, friendly or otherwise. It wasn't at all uncommon to see the words,
10:12Natalia has died, which is pretty darn frustrating when you are all the way at the end of the mission.
10:171. Roach The Witcher 3 The Wild Hunt
10:20When you start a Witcher game, it may seem odd that Geralt has a disconnect with his horses.
10:25Calling each one Roach, our hero seems to bear no significant attachment to his mares,
10:30unlike, say, Wanda from Shadow of the Colossus. Then, as you come out of a tavern and find your
10:35horse atop the adjacent roof, you begin to see why. I'm personally playing through The Witcher 3 right
10:41now for the very first time, and whilst I appreciate Roach and I think she's gotten a lot better,
10:47boy does this horse love to jam itself on a small fence midway through a really important race.
10:52Whilst it's unreasonable to expect your horse to stick to you every step of the way,
10:56when you summon them and they're in what seems like the next county,
10:59it can be a pain to wait. Or better still, when a player summons their trusty steed and finds her stuck
11:04on a branch, or a fence post, or something that may not even be real, yet still enough to hinder
11:10them from coming to you. Over time, Cetaproact Red did fix up some bits and pieces with Roach's AI,
11:15but not all of them. Plenty of players like me are still finding frustration with her puzzling
11:21programming. Whilst the world of Temeria and the Bordering Lands is beautiful to take in,
11:26when your horse decides that it wants to be a scaffolder when you summon it, it somewhat ruins
11:30the illusion. That's the end of our list of the most unreliable video game companions ever,
11:35but if you can think of any more, be sure to write them in that comment section below.
11:39As always, I've been Jess from WhatCulture. Thank you so much for hanging out with me.
11:44If you like, you can come say hi to me on my Twitter account where I'm at JessMcDonald,
11:48but make sure you stay tuned to us here for plenty more great gaming content.