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Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00oh my god she's insane what are you doing here
00:00:17you set me up you stay away from me you're insane
00:00:21i can't let you ruin my wedding miss leanne you and asher are you're a great couple i'm sorry leanne
00:00:36but you've gotta go
00:00:41they say that sex ruins everything
00:00:52oh and sometimes they're right how was that baby awesome
00:01:00we done here yeah i think i did my job
00:01:14we done here yeah baby you're the best you were amazing was it good for you
00:01:22awesome what's your name again
00:01:26money we need to talk what i'm breaking up with you
00:01:34what you mean you are breaking up with me i mean i'm breaking up with you
00:01:40this isn't working out goodbye honey
00:01:46i can't do this anymore what do you mean you were breaking up with me
00:01:49i mean i'm breaking up with you this isn't working out but but take care of monique
00:02:03what am i doing
00:02:05hmm
00:02:12so i tell her dude that's not a pickle that's an okra like seriously so she goes totally
00:02:22bonkers on my brother i mean i don't even know what i saw in him in the first place
00:02:27so i was thinking how about we get out of here and go back to my place sorry i'll be right back
00:02:57oh damn it i'm so sorry oh my god asher yeah what are you doing oh i'm drowning my sorrows here
00:03:13do you want to go to drink sure
00:03:16all right
00:03:21how did i ever lose touch with my undergrad bff uh life i guess we should vow to never let that
00:03:28happen again pinky swear pinky swear friends forever stop doing that
00:03:38we should vow to never let that happen again pinky swear pinky swear friends forever
00:03:45stop doing that
00:03:52thank you oh what about work i actually just started a new job
00:03:57i'm doing marketing at gen guard small world they're our biggest client
00:04:02no way wait what do you do i work at a software development startup
00:04:08hey
00:04:18what about your love life what what about your love life oh my god years of bad sex
00:04:26with jerks a lifetime of one night stands with shallow women cheers mate
00:04:31how about we
00:04:38stop it no hey we're friends well if you ever do want an earth-shattering orgasm i'm your man
00:04:47sex ruins everything yeah i suppose you're right
00:04:51come on i'll be your wing woman though and i'll be your wing man
00:05:21so
00:05:41i can't remember the last time i had this much fun i can't remember the last time i laughed this hard
00:05:47i i think i peed myself a little bit i have that effect on women
00:05:58i forgot how pretty you are thanks i think
00:06:05let's never lose touch again
00:06:07so
00:06:11friends forever
00:06:14friends forever
00:06:37so
00:06:48uh
00:07:06so
00:07:20uh
00:07:25oh
00:07:35let's do that again
00:07:48oh my god what are you doing here i don't know what am i doing here
00:07:53oh my head my head feels like there's banging nails resting on my brain
00:08:04hey that makes sense we're here what no no no no no no no bad idea last night was a bad idea
00:08:15why because asher you're one of my best friends
00:08:22fuck sex ruins everything i suppose you're right but still but still
00:08:33i have a proposition what friends with benefits
00:08:38friends sex without strings you do you i do me and we do each other
00:08:51interesting
00:08:59okay sold
00:09:01and
00:09:03plenty of benefits
00:09:11um
00:09:28and i'll need the marketing report for the fourth quarter
00:09:32hello ladies asher
00:09:44you two know each other yeah um we are we know each other from college he's one of my best
00:09:52friends what are you doing here he's here to see my father wait what daddy owns the company
00:09:58yeah i know i actually own the company i work at he's worth billions and here i thought i knew
00:10:06everything about you i've been busy since college clearly listen gotta run but talk to you later
00:10:15sure good to see you beth you too
00:10:23oh what a man
00:10:35what's this i took the liberty of drawing up a forensic benefits contract
00:10:40a contract it outlines the parameters of our relationship okay article one nobody knows
00:10:48it might get in the way of us seeing other people good point article two we meet at a
00:10:53mutually agreed upon place at a mutually agreed upon time okay article three honesty and transparency
00:11:01are a must agreed article four no lies no lies
00:11:11article five once one party sleeps with another person the agreement is over
00:11:20i don't like that one gets too complicated otherwise
00:11:26fine
00:11:27and finally
00:11:34friends first friends first
00:11:48let's eat
00:11:56so
00:12:26so
00:12:43no i think the wife did it and i think you're insane no you do
00:12:49stop it
00:12:55will you go out with me what on a date like will you go on a date with me a real one no
00:13:06what
00:13:10i mean no the contract i forget the contract no friends first remember
00:13:17sex romance it ruins everything
00:13:24i'm sure you mean way too much to me for that
00:13:36so
00:13:40come on
00:13:45friends first
00:13:53friends first
00:13:54so see you at seven tonight yes you will
00:14:06so
00:14:20he asked me out he asked me out breathe breathe i've been crushing on him for so long
00:14:28on asher yes he asked you out yes on a date yes yes yes will you grab a coffee with me
00:14:36later because you two are such good friends you can give me some tips oh um yeah okay i gotta go
00:14:46getting a mini patty ready for the big fight i'm totally freaking out
00:14:52bye
00:15:02where was he born philadelphia philadelphia uh favorite food um
00:15:09um he likes hot fudge sundaes
00:15:17i like your pen i've never seen that color before
00:15:20daddy has a made for me special it's my favorite color heliotrope purple
00:15:25what about sports
00:15:29why don't you just ask him this yourself on your date
00:15:32i can't do that if i'm gonna marry this man he's gotta think we're meant to be
00:15:38married you got a problem with that
00:15:47why are the two of you never hooked up anyhow me and asher
00:15:54no no no never he's we're we're friends we're best friends good by the way i love your outfit
00:16:04where'd you get it oh mason's on third super cute okay let's carry on uh siblings
00:16:15and being an only child i was an only child as well really cool anyhow being an only child my
00:16:23parents sent me to art camp in philadelphia i was born in philly shut up it's my favorite city
00:16:31where was the school um i
00:16:38can i interest you in some dessert
00:16:45how about we um share a hot fudge sundae that is my favorite dessert
00:16:55i can't believe how much we have in common
00:17:01i had a wonderful time i really hope we can do this again that would be great good night
00:17:13oh my okay thank you
00:17:21i should really head out thank you uh take care why don't you come up
00:17:29and i will fuck you it's within an inch of your life
00:17:36i don't think that would be such a good idea why because i've sworn off one night stands
00:17:45i'm a one night stand no no that's not what i meant it's just sex ruins everything
00:17:51let's wait so it can be perfect yeah
00:18:05okay toodles
00:18:08you
00:18:14beth it was nice we have a lot in common
00:18:22are you jealous no
00:18:26no did you um did you sleep together no but not for lack of her trying
00:18:39beth she's an animal oh god stop it besides i don't want to ruin our arrangement
00:18:48not for beth you don't yeah my days of one night stands are over i want to wait
00:18:53just in case she is the one you never know i want to get off on the right foot
00:19:05i'm never getting married
00:19:08i'm ready to settle down
00:19:13oh you do you to each his own agree did you steal my fudge
00:19:23come on it's my strawberry all right
00:19:35that was rude
00:19:54so
00:20:08you do not have feelings for asher you will not have feelings for asher true love does not exist
00:20:18you will only get hurt he is your friend don't blow it friendship first
00:20:26leanne lamont you do not have feelings for asher you will not have feelings for asher
00:20:32true love does not exist you will only get hurt he is your friend don't blow it
00:20:38friendship first
00:20:43leanne lamont
00:21:09hey shit i'm so sorry uh my bad my fault hang on
00:21:24you got a tissue
00:21:29here let me hey what are you doing stop clucking me oh i didn't realize hey asher
00:21:38eric
00:21:42okay well see you guys later
00:21:48here thank you
00:21:53um i'm leanne by the way i'm eric
00:21:56so that was fun yeah was that fun or was eric fun
00:22:12both okay you got to watch out for him he's a player so what i think i can't handle myself
00:22:20no that's not what i'm saying oh my god are you jealous
00:22:28no i'm not jealous why would i be jealous we're friends with benefits remember
00:22:34yeah you don't have to be a dick about okay i'm not being a dick you're just making another bad
00:22:40choice i can handle myself yeah fine be that way
00:22:52you know maybe things are getting too complicated
00:22:56maybe we need to end this arrangement maybe you're so shut down that you can only date asshole men
00:23:06maybe you should go fuck yourself
00:23:14maybe i will
00:23:27flowers for mrs leanne lamont that's me oh my god thank you
00:23:36i'm eric
00:23:43what are you doing here had a meeting with best dad
00:23:50that's from eric yes
00:23:57they're nice
00:24:01listen um i'm really sorry about last night
00:24:06i was out of line no no i was out of line
00:24:14i'm so sorry about the slap oh my god yeah i deserved it
00:24:26friends forever
00:24:29friends forever
00:24:30dinner later sounds awesome
00:24:38so
00:24:56someone's in a good mood oh it's just i'm just so happy you know leanne i think i like asher a lot
00:25:08i think he could be the one oh i think i'm falling in love you've only just started dating
00:25:16have you ever had a connection that's just so deep so immediate that you just know
00:25:25yeah that's us you know he told me he wants us to wait for sex he says he wants to build a strong
00:25:35foundation first i hope you're not jealous oh no i don't know i i just want him to be happy
00:25:47by the way i love your lipstick it's so unique what color is it
00:25:52it paris pink i love it anyway gotta go toodles
00:26:07why are you so down what's wrong
00:26:12nothing famous last words is it attic
00:26:18of course not how's beth by the way she thinks that you're gonna settle down with her
00:26:25yeah you never know
00:26:29give me your hand i'll tell you what's gonna happen come on okay okay this is your lifeline
00:26:39is your lifeline it's long so you have a nice long life okay this is your headline for wisdom
00:26:50and looks like you have done some stupid things
00:26:58and this is your love line so you've got a rocky beginning over here
00:27:05but you have a long line of love ahead of you
00:27:09gonna go home and fuck great idea
00:27:39so
00:28:09so
00:28:29looks like we had fun last night
00:28:31uh
00:28:35do you have a key
00:28:41i was thinking
00:29:01oh nice trick right yeah
00:29:10who is that i have no idea hello your front door was unlocked i brought
00:29:31outside how could you
00:29:39beth wait beth oh fuck what have i done
00:29:45what do you mean what have you done beth it's not what it looks like
00:29:49so
00:29:59hey what are you doing i'm leaving i'm getting dressed i'm going i'm feeling
00:30:04kind of yucky i'm sorry okay you didn't do anything it was me i fucked up
00:30:10you said it wasn't serious it wasn't it isn't it doesn't matter i fucked up whatever
00:30:14it is it was i fucked it up okay
00:30:21i guess it's time for us to end this friends with benefits thing
00:30:30yeah
00:30:36friends first
00:30:38hey beth go away
00:30:45i need to talk to you
00:30:49i need to talk to you
00:30:50I need to talk to you.
00:31:08I fired her except Danny said we'd get sued.
00:31:12You on the other hand, I don't want to speak to you ever again.
00:31:16It's not what you think, okay?
00:31:17It was a stupid game, friends with benefits, but it's over now, okay, I promise.
00:31:29Do you love her?
00:31:30Of course not.
00:31:31Okay, she means nothing to me.
00:31:34Really?
00:31:35Hey, I want to see what happens between us, you and me.
00:31:43Please, give me another chance.
00:31:52I suppose, okay.
00:32:03Leanne, it's me again.
00:32:13I don't know why you're avoiding me, I'm so confused.
00:32:17Friends forever, remember?
00:32:21Eric, hi.
00:32:26I'm sorry if it's been a while and I've been out of touch, but I would love to see you
00:32:33again if you're up for it.
00:32:38Asher, Asher, it's me, I haven't heard from you in like four hours, what's going on?
00:32:49Are you with Leanne?
00:32:50Call me!
00:33:04Okay, Leanne, I don't know what I did to drive you away, but I'll leave you alone now.
00:33:09If you ever want to be friends again, you know where to find me.
00:33:34It's Eric, leave a message.
00:33:37Hey, Eric, I just wanted to say that I had a great time the other night and I wanted
00:33:44to see what you were doing later.
00:33:46Asher, Asher, where are you?
00:33:48Why won't you call me back?
00:33:50I know you're with her, you lied to me!
00:33:54Okay, miss you, call me, bye.
00:34:03Beth, I got your 35 messages.
00:34:07Listen, I'd really like to get to know you better and spend some time with you, but maybe
00:34:13we need to slow things down a bit.
00:34:16I'll call you when I can.
00:34:33Hey, hey, hey, babe, slow down.
00:34:52To love.
00:34:55Wait, love sucks.
00:35:00Okay, I think we've had enough.
00:35:07How about we head back to my place?
00:35:12Fabulous.
00:35:16Easy.
00:35:30Bye.
00:35:44A lot of goodies in here.
00:36:00I'm just so happy to see you again.
00:36:19I'm sorry, I've been aloof, just been going through some stuff.
00:36:22You want to talk about it, baby?
00:36:23No, that's okay, just life.
00:36:25Is it Leanne?
00:36:27I don't want to talk about Leanne.
00:36:30You know her and Eric have gotten hot and heavy.
00:36:32I thought she wasn't into Eric.
00:36:35Well, when I was out and about this morning, I saw her leaving Eric's apartment.
00:36:40It would look like her clothes from last night.
00:36:43No way, she would never, he's a knob.
00:36:47Which is why I grabbed a photo.
00:36:53I guess she's not the same you think she is.
00:37:23I love you.
00:37:24I love you.
00:37:25I love you.
00:37:26I love you.
00:37:27I love you.
00:37:28I love you.
00:37:29I love you.
00:37:30I love you.
00:37:31I love you.
00:37:32I love you.
00:37:33I love you.
00:37:34I love you.
00:37:35I love you.
00:37:36I love you.
00:37:37I love you.
00:37:38I love you.
00:37:39I love you.
00:37:40I love you.
00:37:41I love you.
00:37:42I love you.
00:37:43I love you.
00:37:44I love you.
00:37:45I love you.
00:37:46I love you.
00:37:47I love you.
00:37:48I love you.
00:37:49I love you.
00:37:50I love you.
00:37:51I love you.
00:37:52I love you.
00:37:53I love you.
00:37:54I love you.
00:37:55I love you.
00:37:56I love you.
00:37:57I love you.
00:37:58I love you.
00:37:59I love you.
00:38:00I love you.
00:38:01I love you.
00:38:02I love you.
00:38:03I love you.
00:38:04I love you.
00:38:05I love you.
00:38:06I love you.
00:38:07I love you.
00:38:08I love you.
00:38:09I love you.
00:38:10I love you.
00:38:11I love you.
00:38:12I love you.
00:38:13I love you.
00:38:14I love you.
00:38:15I love you.
00:38:16I love you.
00:38:17I love you.
00:38:18I love you.
00:38:19I love you.
00:38:20I love you.
00:38:22I love you.
00:38:23I love you.
00:38:25I love you.
00:38:26I love you.
00:38:27I love you.
00:38:29I love you.
00:38:30I love you.
00:38:32I love you.
00:38:33I love you.
00:38:35I love you.
00:38:36I love you.
00:38:38What a fuck, Liane.
00:38:39How could you miss that?
00:38:41Sorry.
00:38:42I'm trying my best.
00:38:43Hey.
00:38:44Your best isn't good enough.
00:38:46You've caused us the game.
00:38:48Ok.
00:38:49Hey.
00:38:50You've had too much to drink.
00:38:51She can handle herself
00:38:53Remember that part of your life everyone
00:38:56Sure the loser
00:38:58so embarrassing
00:39:02Fucking prick
00:39:08Come on
00:39:21You
00:39:51You
00:40:21Are you breaking up with me? I wouldn't call it breaking up. We only just come back together
00:40:29Beth we were never together. I mean we went out like six times
00:40:35You said you wanted to see where things went. Yes, and unfortunately they went in another direction
00:40:42I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you
00:40:45You're fired
00:40:47You can't fire me. I don't work at your company and I own mine
00:40:52I'm fire Leanne. You can't she'll sue
00:40:57Okay, you're a terrific girl and I really enjoyed our time together and more than anything I truly hope that we can remain friends
00:41:21I
00:41:51Love you
00:42:21You
00:42:52Hey
00:42:54Thinking about you
00:42:56When do you wanna hook up?
00:43:00How about a hotel this time
00:43:04We need to be super careful that Asher doesn't find out
00:43:10Love her friend with benefits Leanne
00:43:16XO XO
00:43:18I
00:43:27Can't believe you think I'm lying then. How do you explain this to us? I don't know. I didn't send it
00:43:34You've been sneaking around with Eric and accidentally sent me a text
00:43:42I am NOT seeing Eric
00:43:46Why would I cheat on you? You're you're my lover. You're my best friend
00:43:51Lyrica I
00:43:55Am NOT a cheater I did not send that text and I don't know how it got there
00:44:00But if you want to break up over this then fine
00:44:07I do
00:44:12Okay
00:44:15You
00:44:46I
00:44:59Wondering if you prefer cream puffs or cheesecake for the dessert or both thoughts
00:45:07Please don't marry you don't love her you're rebounding
00:45:16I'm thinking chartreuse and pink for the bridesmaids thoughts a
00:45:24String quartet instead of a jazz trio thoughts
00:45:30They say he's the photographer to the stars
00:45:46I
00:45:49Seat your uncle Harold next to my second cousin once removed
00:45:52I think they'd really get along because it turns out that they both have the same dog. Did you know that it's crazy?
00:45:58Oh my god
00:46:16Hello
00:46:19Did you
00:46:21Get my messages. You're gonna love the photographer. He's awesome
00:46:24I have tons of dresses and shoes to try on for you. And there's more with the doorman
00:46:28Could you run down and grab them?
00:46:30Sure
00:46:45Oh
00:47:02You are gone at Leanne Lamont once I'm done with this he is never gonna want to see you
00:47:16You
00:47:17Our relationship to you and your company is officially terminated
00:47:21effective now
00:47:23Wait, what?
00:47:26Our source indicates you've been selling Fallon industry secrets to our competitors. Who's the source?
00:47:36Oh my god, why would she do this?
00:47:40Lovers scorned I suppose. No, it's not true. This will ruin me, you know, Asha. I
00:47:47Have half a mind to call off your wedding to my bethy-wethy this weekend
00:47:51But she never speak to me again
00:47:56So I'm stuck with you mr. Fallon I
00:47:59Swear, this isn't true. It doesn't matter at this point. It's already in the trades
00:48:05You're toxic Asha
00:48:08Nobody will touch you
00:48:10So now you get your ass out of my office
00:48:21Asher bitch
00:48:24What?
00:48:25Jealous bitch. What are you doing? What are you? I'm getting married to someone else on Saturday
00:48:31So you got jealous and decided to ruin me
00:48:34honey
00:48:35What are you talking about I
00:48:38Would never try to ruin you old job. Well done. Okay, let's just figure this out. Stay away from me
00:48:46Asher you're one of my best friends. We are not friends. Okay, we are nothing
00:48:54Stay away from me. Don't contact me. Don't speak to me. Don't look at me
00:48:59You are dead to me
00:49:29You
00:49:59You
00:50:29I
00:50:59I
00:51:29I
00:51:59I
00:52:11Didn't write this
00:52:18Heliotrope purple
00:52:21It was Beth
00:52:23She's been trying to break us up all along
00:52:25Oh my god
00:52:27Wedding's on Saturday
00:52:29I have to warn him
00:52:31Come on come on
00:52:33Asher
00:52:35Okay
00:52:37Come on
00:52:39Asher
00:52:41Asher
00:52:43Asher
00:52:45Asher
00:52:47Asher
00:52:49Asher
00:52:52Asher
00:52:54Shit he blocked me
00:53:21Beth?
00:53:51Beth?
00:54:21Oh my god.
00:54:28She's insane.
00:54:30What are you doing here?
00:54:34Beth.
00:54:37You set me up.
00:54:39You've been trying to break us up, you bitch.
00:54:42I'd say you're in no position to be making accusations, but you're right.
00:54:47And I won.
00:54:50You stay away from me.
00:54:52You're insane.
00:54:57I'll scream.
00:54:58Nobody will hear you.
00:55:05Can't let you ruin my wedding, Leanne.
00:55:12I'm not going to ruin your wedding.
00:55:14I promise, Beth.
00:55:16Okay?
00:55:17You and Asher are... you're a great couple.
00:55:22He loves you.
00:55:25Why don't I just go away?
00:55:28I'll move.
00:55:30I'll quit my job, just... please.
00:55:33Beth.
00:55:35Don't hurt me.
00:55:37Okay?
00:55:38I'm sorry, Leanne.
00:55:42But you've gotta go.
00:55:49I'm sorry, Leanne.
00:55:53But you've gotta go.
00:55:56God!
00:55:58No!
00:56:01Oh, my God!
00:56:05Oh, my God!
00:56:15You
00:56:45I
00:57:11Don't bother that pipes in there good
00:57:14You're not going anywhere
00:57:18You're crazy
00:57:20You're never getting away with it. Oh, but I will see I'm getting married today
00:57:25And then we'll go on our honeymoon and when I get back
00:57:29You'll be dead. I
00:57:33Hear starvation is a long painful death
00:57:43Oh, and by the way, you're fired
00:58:13Oh
00:58:43I
00:59:13I
00:59:43I
01:00:00Dearly beloved we're gathered here today in front of God and these witnesses to join in stop
01:00:07Stop
01:00:10Dearly beloved we're gathered here today in front of God and these witnesses to join in stop
01:00:21What are you doing here keep going fast what's going on Beth?
01:00:25Security take this woman away. She's clearly deranged. Come on dearly beloved. We are gathered here today. Let's go finish it. Mr. Fallon
01:00:35Your daughter wrote this letter
01:00:37Not me on what she forged my signature what?
01:00:41It's completely absurd
01:00:46Is this true she's crazy security
01:00:51She confessed to it all last night right after she tried to kill me
01:00:58Sure, you love me we're getting married today Coco go
01:01:07I
01:01:18Did it for you baby for us get off me
01:01:37Oh
01:01:49She okay
01:01:54Okay, God someone grab a chair
01:02:08Hey, wake up in maybe wake up. Hey, hey, wake up. Wake up, baby, man
01:02:19And it's all over
01:02:29I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry
01:02:37For everything, I'm more sorry you saved me you're my hero
01:02:47Sure, I love you. I love you
01:02:51Oh
01:03:04But before I take you to the hospital, I have a question to ask you
01:03:17Will you marry me
01:03:22Yes
01:03:31They say that sex ruins everything but sometimes it makes everything better