What if money? #shorts #ncaa #marchmadness #collegesports #parody #funny #youtubeshorts
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00:00Money corrupts. That's why it's so important that the NPAA shields those poor, vulnerable athletes from all this money.
00:09Can you imagine the sort of evil my yearly salary of $196,875 would bring if I didn't bravely receive it every year?
00:20Let me tell you, I wish I didn't have to. In fact, I'm allergic to money. It makes me sneeze and cough.
00:28But that's something I'm willing to endure for the sake of the kids.
00:34Speaking of the kids, let's meet one of our student athletes.
00:38After all, I'm not only the director of the NPAA, I'm also a coach.
00:43You're looking at the head coach of the Michibama-Luzi-Hiyo State University of Georgia, Go Camaras!
00:52And here to tell you how great the NPAA is, the star forward back of our footskid ball team, A.J. Gatorade!
01:01Hi, I'm A.J. Gatorade, and ever since I was a kid, it was my dream to be under center on the footskid ball court, decked out in Camaras turquoise.
01:09I'd been working towards it my whole life, and I knew I was ready.
01:13I could handle the crowds, and I could handle balancing a full academic schedule with 20 hours of practice a week.
01:19I was ready for a 67% chance of major injury during my college career, and a 50% chance of chronic injury that would last me the rest of my life.
01:28There was only one thing that scared me. What if money? What if money happened to me?
01:34That's why I was so relieved when Coach Rod showed me the part of his 400-page rulebook that said I couldn't receive any compensation beyond the cost of attending university.
01:43My family never had much growing up, and it's part of what makes me the man I am today.
01:48Thanks to the NPAA, we still don't have any money.
01:52That's right, A.J. He's a good kid. We had lunch the other day. Well, I had lunch.
01:58He had a cup of water because he's pretty broke, and if I bought him a hamburger, we wouldn't be allowed in bowl games for three years.
02:07He's got a good head on his shoulders. He's in for the right reasons, you know?
02:12Money shouldn't be part of college sports. It should be about who's the best, who's got the grit, who's got the stones to tough it out.
02:21Here you go, Mr. Horton. Here's your coaching salary, $10.25 million, and I put the part that came from state school taxpayer funding in a separate bag, just like you said.
02:32Perfect. That bit just feels better to spend, you know?
02:37I do not.