Queen Media
  • 8 hours ago
As title
Transcript
00:00:30Oh, God.
00:00:32Hello?
00:00:37Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:40I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:44So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip to...
00:00:48Sue, um, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:52Um, I think I'm gonna spend my birthday with Jake.
00:00:55Uh, I'm gonna lose my virginity to him.
00:00:58You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:00What? But you can't.
00:01:02I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:05Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:07You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:09This is bad.
00:01:11You know, I'm gonna tell Lexi.
00:01:13She's gonna be very unhappy about this.
00:01:22Come on, Lexi.
00:01:28Let's go.
00:01:37So, girls, what are we gonna do for our birthday?
00:01:40Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:45But this is the big one-eight.
00:01:47I mean, every year since our moms met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:01:51But this has to be newer and more special.
00:01:54So, what's something we've never done before?
00:01:57Mushrooms?
00:01:58No, not like that. Like something nice.
00:02:01Like maybe a trip.
00:02:03Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:05No.
00:02:07Sorry, Sue. I have a date.
00:02:10So do I.
00:02:12Sorry, Sue.
00:02:13Don't worry, Sue. We'll figure it out.
00:02:17Oh, flowers. Are these from you?
00:02:19Yeah, sure.
00:02:21Here you go.
00:02:23No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:26I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:29I guess, um...
00:02:31you still make me nervous.
00:02:34Oh, Jake.
00:02:39I'm sorry.
00:02:41I'm sorry.
00:02:43Oh, Jake.
00:02:47Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:50Uh, no, Jake. Not yet.
00:02:52When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:02:55The best night of my life.
00:02:56It will be. I promise.
00:02:58It'll always be amazing.
00:03:00With you and me.
00:03:02Together.
00:03:05Jake, no. I have to go.
00:03:07I have to work on my art project.
00:03:10You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:13but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:16Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:19The Saturday?
00:03:21Of course.
00:03:25Thanks.
00:03:27Okay. Bye.
00:03:35Bye.
00:03:43Oh, baby. You're so hot.
00:03:45I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:47Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:49What was your name again?
00:03:50Rob. Sex guy.
00:03:55Lexi is so upset she's speechless.
00:03:59Yeah, right. I bet.
00:04:05Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:09Oh, no.
00:04:11Do not compute.
00:04:13Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:18Oh, huh. Hi.
00:04:20When did you get home?
00:04:23So, is it true?
00:04:24Yes, it is.
00:04:26It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:30I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy
00:04:35and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:37So, I just think it's the right time.
00:04:40Lexi, tell her.
00:04:41Losing our virginity is one of those milestones
00:04:43we should all face together.
00:04:45On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:47Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday.
00:04:49Or maybe even, like, our 29th.
00:04:52Eight. Maybe.
00:04:55Listen, guys, I know it's tradition,
00:04:58but I'm sorry.
00:05:03I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:11But, Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:14We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:16Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:20It's not Jake.
00:05:22It's the male ideal.
00:05:24Like a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:05:28Right.
00:05:30Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:32I mean, it kind of sucks. I'm not really an artist.
00:05:34Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:36The point is, we should all lose our virginities together
00:05:39on the same day, and I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:42I'm waiting for a sign, and then I'll know it's right.
00:05:45Look, I can go either way.
00:05:47I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:05:52I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:05:55Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:58But if you want to do it this year,
00:06:01then maybe we all should.
00:06:04You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:10Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:13To church, to pray for you.
00:06:15I want to be first in line.
00:06:17I'm getting this is...
00:06:19Yeah, me too.
00:06:23♪♪♪
00:06:29Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:31It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:33I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:06:35Mm-hmm.
00:06:37Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this,
00:06:40but it's about sex.
00:06:43Mm-hmm.
00:06:45I mean, not me.
00:06:47I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:49Mm-hmm.
00:06:51I've never even seen a guy's...
00:06:53Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll,
00:06:56but I was dressing him up as Jesus,
00:06:58and I wanted to see his thing,
00:07:00but there was nothing there.
00:07:04Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:06My best friends.
00:07:08They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:10Okay.
00:07:12Third base.
00:07:14What? No.
00:07:16Like, sex. Like, intercourse.
00:07:18With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:20I mean, they really need us intervention,
00:07:22if you know what I mean.
00:07:24All the way. Go all the way.
00:07:26What are you...
00:07:28What?
00:07:30Ah!
00:07:32How could you do...
00:07:34You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:38What?
00:07:44Yes. Yes!
00:07:46Run! Run!
00:07:48Ah!
00:07:50Damn it!
00:07:52Fucking Yankees.
00:07:56Sorry.
00:08:18Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:20Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:22I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:24Jeez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:28I have an announcement to make.
00:08:30I want to do it.
00:08:32Do you hear me? I want to do it.
00:08:34This weekend.
00:08:36On our birthday.
00:08:38Do what?
00:08:40It. Screw.
00:08:42You know, screwing, boning,
00:08:44making the beast with two backs.
00:08:46Shagging, fucking.
00:08:50You do.
00:08:52But what about all your religious stuff?
00:08:54And what about your sign from heaven?
00:08:56Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:08:58Really?
00:09:00Well, okay, great.
00:09:02We're all in then.
00:09:04So we'll have a big pool party
00:09:06and we'll do it there.
00:09:08Right?
00:09:10Right.
00:09:12I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:16Okay.
00:09:22Hey, Frank.
00:09:24Hi, Sue.
00:09:26Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:28I don't know. Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:30Yeah, he's blind.
00:09:32Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:38Maybe.
00:09:40Hey.
00:09:42I was wondering.
00:09:44It's tomorrow night. It's for our birthday.
00:09:46Do you want to come?
00:09:48Do you think he can see up my short?
00:10:00Well, the house looks done.
00:10:02Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:04We finally turn 18.
00:10:06And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:08Well, we better get our beady sleep
00:10:10because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:12So, okay.
00:10:14We know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake.
00:10:16And I'll probably do that guy, Rod.
00:10:18But Sue, who are you going to pick to pop your chain?
00:10:20It's easy.
00:10:22I've known for the past six years,
00:10:24ever since catechism.
00:10:26What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:28I think it's a baby panda
00:10:30wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:38My soulmate.
00:10:42Chris?
00:10:44Sue, you, um,
00:10:46might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:48I mean...
00:10:50What? No. Chris is perfect.
00:10:52He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:10:54Plus, his name's Chris. It's a sign.
00:10:56Sue, the only sign
00:10:58is that Chris has a major case
00:11:00of gay face.
00:11:02What? He does not.
00:11:04Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:06He looks just like Justin Bieber
00:11:08with a little bit of Zac Efron
00:11:10Just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:12Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:14Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:16Okay, well,
00:11:18sweet dreams.
00:11:20See you in the morning.
00:11:28I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:30I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:40You're so perfect.
00:12:10I knew that's what I look like.
00:12:40Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:13:02Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:04Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:06Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:08Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:30Oh, my gosh.
00:13:32They're coming.
00:13:34Lexi, Cheryl, hurry!
00:13:38Ew, why?
00:13:40It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:42It's gonna be really sexy. I'm gonna spritz it.
00:13:44You're gonna die of asphyxiation.
00:13:46It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:48It's stupid. Just screw him.
00:13:50That's what he wants. That's what all guys want.
00:13:52Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:54Oh, Christ. Can I have your mouth, too?
00:13:56Anyway,
00:13:58what guys want is someone who's sexy,
00:14:00not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:02You're an idiot.
00:14:04A very smooth, plastic wrapped idiot.
00:14:08Guys, seriously, come on. Hurry up.
00:14:14Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:14:16I love it.
00:14:18Um...
00:14:20You should put that down, though, because it's like...
00:14:22It's very fragile.
00:14:24Yeah.
00:14:26Hurry up.
00:14:28Those are your anal beads, right?
00:14:30Yeah.
00:14:36Oh, my God.
00:14:52Whoa!
00:14:54Are we gonna have some fun?
00:14:56Oh, Attack of the Wet T-shirts.
00:14:58Nice!
00:15:00Oh, fuck.
00:15:02Ah, fuck.
00:15:06Happy birthday, Lex.
00:15:08No, Joanna.
00:15:10We said no gifts.
00:15:12That is lip poison
00:15:14to plump your lips, but be careful.
00:15:16It stings. And the other one is
00:15:18edible massage oil.
00:15:20Oh, how did you know?
00:15:22I mean, I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:15:24Oh, yeah.
00:15:30Foster, you're such a cutie.
00:15:32Please don't touch my service dog.
00:15:34All right. Sorry.
00:15:36Are you okay now? Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you.
00:15:38Okay. See you later.
00:15:42I can't believe you haven't had a baby.
00:15:44This is crazy.
00:15:46Jake. Hi.
00:15:48Hey, babe. Happy birthday.
00:15:50Oh, you didn't have to
00:15:52give me anything.
00:15:54What? You want a beer?
00:15:58No.
00:16:02Oh, hon.
00:16:06I have your present here.
00:16:08I'll give it to you later
00:16:10when the time's right.
00:16:12You didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:14And I have a present for you
00:16:16that I want you to unwrap
00:16:18later.
00:16:20Hey, bro. We need you to
00:16:22settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:24What bet?
00:16:28All right. This is my man right here.
00:16:30Hey. How you doing?
00:16:32Hi.
00:16:40Check it out!
00:16:44Dare me?
00:16:48Woo-hoo!
00:17:00Oh, dude. Look at those.
00:17:02Are those real? Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:04Hey! Don't move!
00:17:06Come on. Lame. Oh.
00:17:08All right. Okay. I'll see you guys later.
00:17:10Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:12The money button says by the end of the day
00:17:14I will be motorboating those titties.
00:17:17They're fake anyways.
00:17:19Who cares?
00:17:21Okay.
00:17:25Oh, dude.
00:17:27I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:31Sue, no. It's your birthday.
00:17:33Here, let me.
00:17:35Joanna, no. Just go enjoy the party.
00:17:37What?
00:17:39I win.
00:17:41Hey. Do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:43I put this stuff on, but I can't
00:17:45feel anything yet.
00:17:47Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:49I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:51He just, like, disappeared.
00:18:03Are these real?
00:18:05Of course they are.
00:18:07How come I've never met you before?
00:18:09I don't know. Maybe he's going to be around.
00:18:11Have you seen Jake?
00:18:13I think he's around or something.
00:18:15Maybe upstairs. I don't know.
00:18:17Maybe he went to go get my birthday present.
00:18:19That's probably where he went.
00:18:25Liquid Courage?
00:18:27Yeah.
00:18:29Atta girl.
00:18:31Vodka Cranberry?
00:18:33Shirley Temple.
00:18:35Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:37I owe me a ride.
00:18:39Sue? Are you okay?
00:18:41Sue? Relax.
00:18:43They're just lies.
00:18:45Nothing to be scared of. Seriously.
00:18:47You're going to be fine.
00:18:49Is Chris here?
00:18:55Wow. It's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:57No. He does not have gay face.
00:18:59I'm going to prove it to you.
00:19:01I'm going to do it.
00:19:07Wow. It's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:09Wow. It's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:11No. He does not have gay face.
00:19:13I'm going to prove it to you.
00:19:15I'm going to do it.
00:19:17I'm going to do this.
00:19:19Good luck.
00:19:21Hey, you can do this.
00:19:23Just act like a slut.
00:19:27Just pretend...
00:19:29you're Lexi.
00:19:31Yeah.
00:19:37My favorite chapter is Psalm and Glory.
00:19:39Chris.
00:19:41Hi.
00:19:43Can I talk to you?
00:19:45In private?
00:19:47No.
00:20:01Hey, Lexi.
00:20:03What?
00:20:05Chris, you're so sexy.
00:20:09Ever since you played Jesus at camp,
00:20:11I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:15I really want to...
00:20:17Oh! What are you doing?
00:20:19Is that wrong?
00:20:21Sue, what's gotten into you?
00:20:23Nothing. I'm sorry. I don't know how to do this.
00:20:25Sue.
00:20:27Sue.
00:20:29Sue.
00:20:31I understand these...
00:20:33urges.
00:20:35And, you know...
00:20:37I like you, too.
00:20:39Really? You do?
00:20:41I do. I really do.
00:20:43I like you, too.
00:20:45Really? You do?
00:20:47I do. I really do.
00:20:49It's just...
00:20:51I've devoted a lot of my life
00:20:53to one certain man.
00:20:55Right.
00:20:57Lexi said you were...
00:20:59Jesus.
00:21:01Oh. That man.
00:21:03Of course. What did you think?
00:21:05Oh, nothing.
00:21:07So we can still do this, then?
00:21:09Oh, Sue.
00:21:11You know,
00:21:13for me,
00:21:15when I think about that man
00:21:17who died for our sins,
00:21:19when I think about him
00:21:21up there on that cross,
00:21:23so helpless,
00:21:25so muscular,
00:21:27with his strong thighs
00:21:29crossed over each other
00:21:31so delicately
00:21:33beneath that ragged
00:21:35loincloth,
00:21:37growing so hot,
00:21:39so sweaty
00:21:41under that hot,
00:21:43hot sun,
00:21:45I just feel such compassion.
00:21:47I think about those things, too.
00:21:49So you understand
00:21:51why I can't do this?
00:21:53Not really.
00:21:55I just find it too hard.
00:21:57It is to give in
00:21:59to carnal pleasure
00:22:01when he sacrificed
00:22:03so much for us.
00:22:05So...
00:22:15We're gonna go out there, right?
00:22:17Yeah.
00:22:19Whoa!
00:22:21Have you seen Jake?
00:22:23No, no.
00:22:25All right.
00:22:27Okay.
00:22:29All right, focus, focus, focus.
00:22:35Oh, there he is.
00:22:39Oh, he got me
00:22:41the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:51Oh!
00:22:55How could he?
00:22:59Sue, what happened?
00:23:01Did you guys do it?
00:23:03Sue?
00:23:05He doesn't want me.
00:23:07Because he's gay.
00:23:09No, he's not. He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:11Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:13The only reason you even liked him
00:23:15is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you?
00:23:17Look, the only way
00:23:19you're gonna find out
00:23:21what kind of man you really want
00:23:23is to know what kind of woman you really are
00:23:25deep inside.
00:23:27What?
00:23:29Come with me.
00:23:31Where?
00:23:33To meet your dark side.
00:23:37Out!
00:23:39Everyone out!
00:23:49Sue, it's time
00:23:51for you and your vagina to meet
00:23:53face to face.
00:24:03I really can't.
00:24:05I really don't think I can do this.
00:24:07I'm not letting you out
00:24:09until you look.
00:24:13I'm not letting you out
00:24:15until you look.
00:24:17Sue?
00:24:19Can you see it?
00:24:21Sue?
00:24:25I'm almost...
00:24:27I'm almost there.
00:24:31Oh!
00:24:33What?
00:24:35What?
00:24:37Sue, what happened? What did you see?
00:24:39A raccoon?
00:24:41What?
00:24:43You overshot it. Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:47I can't.
00:24:49Please don't make me do that again.
00:24:51Okay, fine. Fine.
00:24:53I didn't want to do this,
00:24:55but you leave me no choice.
00:24:57What?
00:24:59You really need an orgasm.
00:25:01Honestly, I don't know how you expected
00:25:03to ever have sex with someone else
00:25:05when you've never even had it with yourself.
00:25:07This really has to be your first step.
00:25:09Lex, I'm waiting.
00:25:11Coming.
00:25:13Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:15Just find it and use it.
00:25:17Wait. What does a black vibrator look like?
00:25:19It's black.
00:25:21It vibrates.
00:25:23Come on, Rod.
00:25:25Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:27And don't come back
00:25:29until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:41Hey, cutie! Cutie!
00:25:46Oh!
00:25:48Bullseye!
00:25:50Oh, yeah!
00:25:54Bang. Bang.
00:25:56Bang.
00:25:58Good boy. Straighten up.
00:26:00Good boy. Good boy.
00:26:02He knows over 100 commands.
00:26:06I'm sorry. I can't see anything.
00:26:08That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:10What a bitch.
00:26:12Fortunately, when you're blind,
00:26:14you can't see shit.
00:26:16Aah!
00:26:18Aah!
00:26:42Oh, shit.
00:26:45What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:49Nice shot.
00:26:51Direct hit.
00:27:04Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:06Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:08He was getting a blowjob
00:27:10by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:12For sure?
00:27:14I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him,
00:27:16so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:18That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag.
00:27:20How dare he?
00:27:22No, it's awful.
00:27:24I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him.
00:27:31It's a text. It's from him.
00:27:33I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:35Okay. He's looking for you.
00:27:37He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:39Oh, I can't face him.
00:27:42Um, I have to go. I'm going.
00:27:44No, you can't just leave.
00:27:46Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:27:48I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:50No. He'll either deny it
00:27:52or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:27:54Either way, it's bullshit.
00:27:56I see only one option.
00:27:58I'm leaving.
00:28:00Revenge sex.
00:28:02Reve... What? What does that even mean?
00:28:04It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out,
00:28:06and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:08But he... I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:28:10He doesn't even care about me. I mean, why would...
00:28:12He's just into other girls.
00:28:14Trust me. He'll care.
00:28:16Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him.
00:28:18To his ego.
00:28:20To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:28:22Especially if it's with someone smarter,
00:28:24better-looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:26I'm leaving.
00:28:28I'm leaving.
00:28:30I'm leaving.
00:28:32I'm leaving.
00:28:34I'm leaving.
00:28:36Especially if it's with someone smarter,
00:28:38better-looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:40No, Like I couldn't.
00:28:42Plus, I mean, there's...
00:28:44There's no one smarter and better-looking.
00:28:46Eric! He's perfect.
00:28:48Eric Hall? Are you kidding?
00:28:50I mean, he wouldn't even be into me
00:28:52if he likes your type.
00:28:54Really? And what type is that?
00:28:56His flirty?
00:28:58Yeah. Trust me. He's amazing.
00:29:00I fooled around with him once.
00:29:02He has this great tongue ring.
00:29:04somebody you fooled around with.
00:29:05Okay then, fine.
00:29:07We will find someone else.
00:29:08Someone that I haven't fooled around with.
00:29:14Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him?
00:29:17I mean, it's like you're not gonna marry the guy.
00:29:20No, I just couldn't do it.
00:29:21Fine, if you wanna live the rest of your life
00:29:24knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:29:26to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless
00:29:28piece of garbage and possibly even scar him
00:29:30with the rest of his existence and you chose not to do it,
00:29:33go ahead.
00:29:35But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able
00:29:36to live with yourself.
00:29:39I don't know.
00:29:42But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able
00:29:43to live with yourself.
00:29:46I don't know.
00:29:47Trust me, it's going to work.
00:29:55I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:29:58Hi, Cheryl.
00:29:59Okay, enough jabbering.
00:30:01Oh no!
00:30:04Hey.
00:30:13Hey.
00:30:15Happy birthday.
00:30:18Thanks.
00:30:34Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:39So, happy birthday.
00:30:47Do you know that most people think
00:30:48that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:30:51But it's actually from us, US.
00:30:53America?
00:30:56United States?
00:30:57I know where we live.
00:30:59Right.
00:31:00So, happy birthday, Jake.
00:31:02I know where we live.
00:31:03Right.
00:31:03Of course.
00:31:07I know where we live.
00:31:09Right.
00:31:10Of course.
00:31:15Hey, Jesus, Eric, are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:18Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:19Yeah, no, I can totally move, I just.
00:31:21No, you're fine.
00:31:22Okay.
00:31:34Jake!
00:31:37So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:39Oh, I'm sorry, it?
00:31:42What, um?
00:31:43It, like monkey bone in and like pigs in a blanket,
00:31:48get real nasty.
00:31:50Oh, oh, you mean like, uh, right now?
00:31:55I mean, well, yeah, you know, the sooner the better.
00:32:00Yeah, sure, I mean, yeah, of course.
00:32:03I just never realized that you, I mean,
00:32:08whew, uh, it's just, you're so, you're so beautiful.
00:32:13You're so, you're so beautiful.
00:32:17Okay, um, uh, no kissing.
00:32:21Right, um, of course, sorry.
00:32:27So, um, do you want to unwrap me?
00:32:32Oh, wow, uh, you wrapped up like a Hot Pocket
00:32:34or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:37Not that you left over, you're not, you're fresh.
00:32:43Organic, yep.
00:32:47So the wrap.
00:32:48Right.
00:32:49Um, where's the, uh?
00:32:52It's, uh, the end is, the edge is, like, right over here.
00:32:54Oh, oh, yeah, here it is, I see it, um, let me just, uh.
00:32:58Got it, uh.
00:33:00Ow, ow, ow.
00:33:01Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, I, um.
00:33:03It's, it's okay, do it again.
00:33:05Sorry, I, uh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
00:33:10I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
00:33:13I bought my nails, so it's a little difficult to.
00:33:15You know what, let me just lay on the bed.
00:33:18Okay.
00:33:23Uh, let me just see.
00:33:27Oh, here it is, I got it.
00:33:28All right, just, um, pull it.
00:33:31Oh, let me just.
00:33:32Whoa!
00:33:35Oh, geez, uh, Cheryl, are you, are you okay?
00:33:38Help, help.
00:33:39Uh.
00:33:40Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:41Help, help.
00:33:43Oh, geez.
00:33:44Uh.
00:33:45Here, here.
00:33:50Well, that was stupid.
00:33:51Yeah.
00:33:52Yeah.
00:33:53Yeah.
00:33:54Yeah.
00:33:54Yeah.
00:33:55Yeah.
00:33:56Yeah.
00:33:57Yeah.
00:33:58Yeah.
00:33:59Yeah.
00:33:59Yeah.
00:34:00Yeah.
00:34:01Yeah.
00:34:02Yeah.
00:34:03Yeah.
00:34:04Yeah.
00:34:05Yeah.
00:34:05Yeah.
00:34:06Yeah.
00:34:07Yeah.
00:34:08Yeah.
00:34:09Yeah.
00:34:10I can't hear you.
00:34:12Get me another beer.
00:34:13Chips are so damn salty.
00:34:15Jake!
00:34:15It's right here.
00:34:16Upstairs, yeah.
00:34:19Hold on, I'll take a piss.
00:34:21How much beer.
00:34:35Oh!
00:34:36Oh!
00:34:37Oh!
00:34:40Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:34:49Finally.
00:34:51I, uh, I just get the blinds.
00:34:54Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:34:56Don't, don't worry about it.
00:34:57What?
00:34:59I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:03Oh.
00:35:05Well, okay.
00:35:06Okay.
00:35:10Thank you, Edger so much.
00:35:12Well, if you're not going to go yet,
00:35:14I'll call it a day, okay?
00:35:23Anything at all?
00:35:27Edger,
00:35:28no, no, no, no, no.
00:35:29No.
00:35:36Is Alok...
00:36:08Ohh!
00:36:10Ahh!
00:36:12Ahh!
00:36:14Ahh!
00:36:16Ahh!
00:36:20...What are you doing?
00:36:22Ah...
00:36:24I think it's time.
00:36:26You know, to...
00:36:28do it!
00:36:30Um, not yet. More foreplay.
00:36:32Huh? Oh!
00:36:34Ahh!
00:36:36It's so good.
00:36:37Oh.
00:36:38Yep.
00:36:39Oh, my jaw.
00:36:40Jaw.
00:36:41Jaw.
00:36:42Jaw.
00:36:43What?
00:36:44What?
00:36:45Ah.
00:36:46Ah.
00:36:47Oh.
00:36:48Ah.
00:36:49Lock jaw.
00:36:50Lock jaw.
00:36:51Is that even a thing?
00:36:52I don't know.
00:36:53Ah.
00:36:54Are you okay?
00:36:55No.
00:36:56No.
00:36:57No.
00:36:58No.
00:37:00No.
00:37:01No.
00:37:02No.
00:37:03It's fine.
00:37:04I'm just embarrassed.
00:37:05It's probably TNJ or fracture or swollen.
00:37:06Are you sure you're okay?
00:37:07Yeah.
00:37:08Yeah.
00:37:09I'm fine.
00:37:10Okay.
00:37:11Great.
00:37:12Have fun.
00:37:13Oh.
00:37:14Now.
00:37:15Now.
00:37:16Let's do it now.
00:37:17No.
00:37:18Not yet.
00:37:19Not yet.
00:37:20Ah.
00:37:21Ah.
00:37:22Ah.
00:37:23Ah.
00:37:24Ah.
00:37:25Ah.
00:37:26Ah.
00:37:27Ah.
00:37:28No.
00:37:29Not yet.
00:37:30Not yet.
00:37:31All right.
00:37:32I'm gonna come.
00:37:33I'm gonna come.
00:37:34Are you ready?
00:37:35No.
00:37:36Not yet.
00:37:37Not yet.
00:37:38No.
00:37:39No.
00:37:40No.
00:37:41No.
00:37:42No.
00:37:43No.
00:37:44No.
00:37:45Not yet.
00:37:46Lexi.
00:37:47Lexi.
00:37:48Oh.
00:37:49Oh.
00:37:50Oh.
00:37:51No.
00:37:52No.
00:37:53Not yet.
00:37:54Lexi.
00:37:55Lexi.
00:37:56Oh.
00:37:58Oh.
00:37:59Oh.
00:38:00Oh.
00:38:01Oh.
00:38:02Hey, Jake.
00:38:03How you doing?
00:38:04How's it going?
00:38:05Good.
00:38:06Eric?
00:38:07Come.
00:38:08Eric, help me.
00:38:09I'm blind.
00:38:10I can't see anything.
00:38:11Excuse me.
00:38:12Cheryl's in here.
00:38:13Sup, bro.
00:38:14What the fuck?
00:38:15Cheryl's in here.
00:38:20What's up, bro?
00:38:25What the fuck is...
00:38:27Hey, wait!
00:38:29Lex, babe, still waiting.
00:38:32Oh, I'm sorry. I can't see. I'm blind.
00:38:42Damn it. I'm gonna say something to that bitch.
00:38:47Hey, you!
00:38:49You better stop making fun of the blind, or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:38:54I'm so sorry! I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:39:11Oh, man. No more water balloons. This party's ass.
00:39:27Yeah!
00:39:32This just isn't working.
00:39:35Nothing. What's the big deal about these vibrators anyway?
00:39:41Watch this.
00:39:44Spark it up.
00:39:46Yes!
00:39:49Oh, man! I love this game!
00:39:52Where's the controllers? We gotta play.
00:39:53Here, here, here.
00:39:54Okay, let me find another one.
00:39:58Whoa!
00:40:00Look at this!
00:40:04Oh, man! Get that thing away! Jesus!
00:40:14Hey, dude, nice shot.
00:40:17Wasn't me.
00:40:22Whoa, whoa! Nice!
00:40:25Are you sitting on it or something?
00:40:28Hey, you found the grenade launcher. Nice, nice.
00:40:42Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:54Whoa! You are the controller.
00:40:58No, I just... I didn't... I swear, I...
00:41:13Hey, hey, Sue.
00:41:15What's going on, man?
00:41:18It's okay. Hey, Sue.
00:41:30Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:32Yeah, I just needed to...
00:41:35Oh, sure.
00:41:37Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:41:42You were? You mean...
00:41:46Yeah.
00:41:49So you think we should give it a try?
00:41:53Can we go get a drink?
00:41:57Wow, your toilet's really...
00:42:02You know what? I gotta go.
00:42:04Happy birthday.
00:42:05No, Chris, no, that wasn't... I didn't...
00:42:08Oh, God, never mind.
00:42:11This is the worst idea ever.
00:42:24Never going to have sex.
00:42:26Ow.
00:42:41Hello? A little attention here.
00:42:48Oh, yeah, sorry.
00:42:55Lex, don't be selfish.
00:42:57Oh, right. Sorry.
00:43:11Jeez, who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:43:16Too much fucking multitasking.
00:43:18Screw it.
00:43:28Oh, God.
00:43:58Oh, no. That was bad.
00:44:02That was so bad.
00:44:16Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:21I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:27Does your name start with a J?
00:44:29Yes, it does.
00:44:31So you're JJ?
00:44:33Uh-uh.
00:44:56Hello, welcome to 1-900-Confess.
00:44:59Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:45:01A nun.
00:45:02Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:09Please hold.
00:45:10Thank goodness.
00:45:141-900-Confession, how may I be of service?
00:45:17It's been one day since my last confession.
00:45:20I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:22One day.
00:45:30Is that too long?
00:45:31I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:33Go on.
00:45:36Okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:45:39Well, actually, I didn't. A washing machine did.
00:45:42What's her problem?
00:45:43A washing machine touched her.
00:45:47Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:45:50All right, freak, time's up.
00:45:52What? But what do I do?
00:45:53Just unplug the thing.
00:45:55No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:45:59Well, then be happy. You found the perfect man.
00:46:02I'm serious.
00:46:03Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:46:07I'll tell you this.
00:46:09Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:12No contritions?
00:46:14You broke no covenant with God. It's not in the Bible.
00:46:17So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:46:20Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:23Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:46:26Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:28Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:31Huh. God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:34He sure is. Now run along.
00:46:39Wow. How do you know all that?
00:46:42Because I'm a nun.
00:46:44Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:46:47Huh. Accidental masturbation. Who'd have thunk?
00:46:59Revenge sex. What a stupid fucking idea.
00:47:02God, I'm getting out of here.
00:47:06Yeah, I admit it. I've got no game.
00:47:10I guess I'll just get it for me.
00:47:15Fucking douchebag.
00:47:17Damn it.
00:47:19I know I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:22You go, girl.
00:47:24What?
00:47:26What are you doing here?
00:47:28We needed some place private.
00:47:30But hey, listen, if you're serious about getting laid...
00:47:33Yeah?
00:47:34If you want someone great...
00:47:36I mean, really, the best ever.
00:47:39No offense.
00:47:41Frank, the blind guy?
00:47:43Really?
00:47:45I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:48I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:50It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:53It was like we used all our senses.
00:47:56Everything.
00:47:58If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:02All right.
00:48:07What about him?
00:48:09Jeremy.
00:48:11Yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:48:13I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:15I don't know his last name, though.
00:48:17It's Jones.
00:48:19Jeremy Jones.
00:48:21This all makes sense.
00:48:23Excuse me.
00:48:25Jeremy.
00:48:26Hi.
00:48:28Who was on the phone?
00:48:30Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:32You'll meet her. She'll be here in like an hour.
00:48:34You have a girlfriend?
00:48:48Oh.
00:48:50Hi, Frank.
00:48:51Sit.
00:48:55Oh, you meant...
00:48:57You meant the dog.
00:49:00Relax.
00:49:02You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:13Oh, I'm relaxed. I'm fine.
00:49:16Why are you biting your nail?
00:49:18I'm not.
00:49:21How did you know that?
00:49:25Corner.
00:49:29Sit.
00:49:31Roll over.
00:49:35Oh, you mean me.
00:49:38Roll over.
00:49:42Oh, you mean me.
00:49:44Oh, how do you...
00:49:45How do you want me to...
00:49:47Just lie down.
00:49:49Oh.
00:49:59Oh.
00:50:01I shouldn't even be doing this,
00:50:03but considering it a teachable moment...
00:50:06Okay.
00:50:09Oh.
00:50:12See me with your hands.
00:50:15All right.
00:50:23You know, I should really...
00:50:25I have a boyfriend, and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:27Really.
00:50:40Mmm, peanut butter.
00:50:45Mmm, peanut butter.
00:50:57Frank, Frank.
00:50:59Oh.
00:51:02Oh, Frank.
00:51:15Yo, man.
00:51:17Dude, give me a chip.
00:51:18My chips, homeboy.
00:51:20Dude, give me a chip, man.
00:51:21My chips.
00:51:22Dude.
00:51:23My chip.
00:51:24Dude, give me a chip.
00:51:25I have chocolate.
00:51:26My chips.
00:51:28Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:51:31Sorry.
00:51:35Hey.
00:51:36Hey.
00:51:37Hey.
00:51:38Hey.
00:51:39Hey.
00:51:40Hey.
00:51:41Hey.
00:51:42Hey.
00:51:43Hey.
00:51:49It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:51That's all.
00:51:56No, let me do this.
00:51:57Go ahead.
00:51:58I got it.
00:51:59I got it.
00:52:00No, really, please.
00:52:01I want to help.
00:52:02Please.
00:52:04Okay, everybody out.
00:52:06Leave.
00:52:07I have to vacuum.
00:52:14Yes.
00:52:20You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:22They're over here.
00:52:24I see some dust over here, so.
00:52:29It's just so much dust on this floor.
00:52:33It's just a dirty floor.
00:52:35Such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:52:43Oh.
00:52:47Oh.
00:52:56Okay.
00:52:57Oh.
00:52:59All right.
00:53:01I think I got all that.
00:53:02I'm just gonna.
00:53:03I'll see you.
00:53:05Frankie! Oh my, oh. What was that? What?
00:53:18Oh man, we got a smoky, smoky heat. Stop. Frank, stop teasing Frank.
00:53:27Oh shit. I'm sorry man, we were just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:53:32Oh, I heard something. Do you want to join us?
00:53:35No, I'm actually not in the mood. Come on, you gotta do it, come on.
00:53:38Seriously guys, I need to go. Where's your dog, man?
00:53:40Dude, what's it like being blinded? It's trippy.
00:53:46Frank? Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
00:53:52Bro, you are too funny. Thanks man.
00:53:57Oh, this is some good stuff. I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:54:00Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
00:54:03Wait, wait, wait. I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:09Damn, I really can't remember. This is some good shit.
00:54:30Oh no, you're the devil. No more.
00:54:36JJ, I mean, Jeremy, you have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you? Please.
00:54:43Lex, I can't. I mean, I got a girlfriend. I really like this girl.
00:54:49Fine. It's just so sad because I'm wearing this cupless bra and I also have on crotchless panties.
00:54:59With just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
00:55:09We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:55:11Perfect.
00:55:16Before she gets here.
00:55:17Perfect.
00:55:18Let's do it. Let's do it. Fuck me. Fuck me now.
00:55:36What? What's wrong?
00:55:37I can't. I can't get it in. Try down there. It's like desert down there. It's sandpaper.
00:55:45Okay, I get the picture. Just try it again.
00:55:50No. Why is this happening? We fooled around before. I was dripping wet. I came like four times, remember?
00:55:58Just do what you did then. Come on.
00:56:00I already did my thing. I already tried.
00:56:04What? What is different this time?
00:56:07I don't know. Last time...
00:56:12I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:14What? You're not JJ? But your name is Jeremy Jones. How can you not be JJ? Who the hell is this JJ?
00:56:25Where are you going? We're not done here. I can still do this. I just need a little bit of foreplay. I can do this.
00:56:31I don't need JJ. I don't need anyone else. We can do this. Go team.
00:56:41What? Just keep going.
00:56:45Jeremy? Are you okay?
00:56:48Shit.
00:56:51Jeremy?
00:56:58Where's Jeremy?
00:57:01We were just, you know...
00:57:04Hey, babe. Just working out.
00:57:10How could you, you bastard?
00:57:15You might want to...
00:57:16What? What?
00:57:21Ah! Mariela! Mariela!
00:57:25You know, those aren't mine. At least not all of them.
00:57:30What is wrong with you?
00:57:32What is wrong with you? You used to be so pure. Well, no more. That's it. Really, that's the last one.
00:58:02Okay.
00:58:14Cheryl?
00:58:19What is it? What are you doing down here?
00:58:22Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
00:58:26What? Why?
00:58:28Just this blind guy and his dog.
00:58:32Honey, it's going to be okay.
00:58:34No, it's not okay. God. And you know whose fault it is?
00:58:40I'm sorry.
00:58:41It's Jake's. Jake's fault. That blind, cheating bastard.
00:58:45Yes. He is such a dickwad. You need to confront him.
00:58:49Yeah. Yeah, I need to confront him. I mean, it's my birthday. And where is he anyway?
00:58:55Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
00:58:57You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
00:59:00Yeah, a big piece. A big old chunk of my mind. A big piece of it.
00:59:04Yeah. You know, you might want to... You need to look hot when you break up with him.
00:59:10Yeah, you're right.
00:59:12Why am I wearing a sheet?
00:59:20I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I get shy around beautiful women like you.
00:59:28I got no game.
00:59:35It's not important.
00:59:48Hey, um...
00:59:49Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:50No, no, no. I really need to talk to you.
00:59:53Really, Eric. I can't right now.
00:59:55No, no, no. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier.
00:59:58And I'm just embarrassed and I want to make it up to you.
01:00:02Eric, really? I don't care. It's fine.
01:00:04No, but I do. I mean, I do. I care.
01:00:09I haven't known how to tell you. Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:00:14But I was wondering, or hoping, that we could go out sometime. Soon.
01:00:21Because I'm going to be leaving for a little while and it would be nice to go out...
01:00:24Really? Eric, you're shy. You have no game.
01:00:29No, not really.
01:00:32Yeah, no. I can't do this. Sorry.
01:00:37Okay. Alright. I, uh...
01:00:42Happy birthday, then.
01:00:52I'm sorry. I was trying to kiss your...
01:01:03Wow.
01:01:15Here I come, baby. Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:20Oh, Eric, stop. We can't do this.
01:01:23Oh, God damn it. Not again.
01:01:25Oh, no.
01:01:26Honey, happy...
01:01:29The fuck is this?
01:01:30Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:32Okay, guys, don't.
01:01:37Cheryl, baby, what is this?
01:01:41Oh, geez, Cheryl. You're...
01:01:44I've been looking for you all night and you've been gone.
01:01:47I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:01:49Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:51You couldn't find me?
01:01:53What about all those girls' vaginas you were in?
01:01:56Or your penis getting sucked?
01:01:58Cheryl, honey.
01:01:59No, no.
01:02:00You can work this out.
01:02:01Baby, I love you.
01:02:03Jake, no. You have to go.
01:02:04Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:02:06I promise.
01:02:07No, Jake. I can't do this. I'm sorry.
01:02:10Cheryl, come on.
01:02:11No, Jake, please. Just go. Just go. I'm sorry.
01:02:14You're a heartless bitch!
01:02:16How could you do this to me?
01:02:18Yay! You did it.
01:02:20I'm so proud of you.
01:02:21You got your revenge sex.
01:02:22You've left him a mere shell of a man.
01:02:24Revenge sex?
01:02:27It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:30Right.
01:02:32That all makes sense now.
01:02:35Wow, I feel really stupid.
01:02:37Eric, I'm really... I'm really sorry.
01:02:41Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:02:43And you used me.
01:02:45Eric, please don't go. Please, Eric.
01:02:49Aren't you happy?
01:02:52Well, no, that's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:02:55You mean the sex? Was it...
01:02:58No, we didn't quite do it.
01:03:00Oh. You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:02Really?
01:03:03I just never found the right guy.
01:03:05Or guys.
01:03:07Anyway, we better get downstairs. People are starting to leave.
01:03:10I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:15I can't believe she dumped me, man. This is bullshit!
01:03:18God!
01:03:19Oh! Oh!
01:03:21Suck it!
01:03:22What the...
01:03:24God, I'm out of here!
01:03:25Yeah!
01:03:26He has good hair, though.
01:03:31Don't you puke on me.
01:03:33And don't puke on my car, either.
01:03:36I'm sorry.
01:03:37I'm sorry.
01:03:38I'm sorry.
01:03:39I'm sorry.
01:03:40I'm sorry.
01:03:41I'm sorry.
01:03:42I'm sorry.
01:03:43I'm sorry.
01:03:44I might set a break, but I might need a vacation.
01:03:51Take this information through your head.
01:03:56Oh, Sue, are you alright?
01:03:59Was it from sex? Did you pop your cork?
01:04:01I don't think so. Not with a guy, anyway.
01:04:05Oh, don't ask.
01:04:06Every possible object.
01:04:08It's like every mechanical thing.
01:04:10It was like... transformers.
01:04:12They just all became vibrators.
01:04:14I told you.
01:04:16It's addicting.
01:04:19So, what about Chris?
01:04:20The last time I saw him, he was running away for dear life.
01:04:22I told you he was gay.
01:04:24Well, I think I'm just all cramp.
01:04:30I think it's broken.
01:04:31So, wait.
01:04:33None of us cashed an RV card.
01:04:39Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:42So, I was going to go grab some food.
01:04:44Can I go?
01:04:45No.
01:04:47I think I should finish up here.
01:04:49Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:51No.
01:04:53I don't know.
01:04:54For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:04:58Or something.
01:04:59Why? Do you know him?
01:05:01Sort of.
01:05:02Oh.
01:05:03Well, hey, if you happen to run into him,
01:05:05tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:05:13Love him?
01:05:14Shut it.
01:05:15You want to do it with him?
01:05:16I don't want to hear it from you.
01:05:17You want to get married?
01:05:18You want to do it?
01:05:19Zip it.
01:05:20All right, all right, all right.
01:05:43Um, no.
01:05:46No way.
01:06:02Oh, well.
01:06:03There's always next year.
01:06:12Hey.
01:06:25It's you.
01:06:27I've been waiting for you.
01:06:29JJ?
01:06:33Joanna.
01:06:42JJ?
01:07:12Hey.
01:07:33Wow.
01:07:34That's amazing.
01:07:37Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me.
01:07:40I guess something inspired me.
01:07:43You really captured his expression and his eyes.
01:07:46Yeah, even that little cowlick he has in his hair.
01:07:52Whose?
01:07:53Eric's.
01:07:54It's him, right?
01:07:57Oh.
01:07:59Yeah.
01:08:01I have to go see him.
01:08:04Oh.
01:08:07Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:191-900-CONFESS.
01:08:22Sister Therese?
01:08:24Yeah, hun?
01:08:25Um, there was a problem with your credit card.
01:08:27I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:30Oh, sure.
01:08:31Oh.
01:08:32It's 271.
01:08:33Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:39Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:08:43Like, take you back?
01:08:45Sure, hun.
01:08:46Why not?
01:08:47As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:50Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:52I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:08:56Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:09:01Sister?
01:09:02Can I get up now?
01:09:04I really gotta pee.
01:09:05No!
01:09:06Hush your trap!
01:09:09Okay, honey.
01:09:10I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:09:13I will.
01:09:15Thanks.
01:09:18Sister?
01:09:19Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you cheap fucker!
01:09:31Fuck.
01:09:38Eric, wait!
01:09:41Cheryl?
01:09:44Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:49I was trying to have revenge sex with you at the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:09:55I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:09:58The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:10:01Um, I, I do want to go out with you.
01:10:06And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:09I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is, and he's all over these-
01:10:13Eric!
01:10:15Come on, we gotta get going.
01:10:17Oh.
01:10:18Wow.
01:10:19Um, Cheryl, this is my sister Tina.
01:10:22Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:24Hi!
01:10:25Nice to meet you.
01:10:28Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days?
01:10:33When I get back?
01:10:35Yeah, sure.
01:10:41Oh.
01:10:43Sorry, no kissing, right?
01:10:44No kissing.
01:10:45Oh.
01:10:58Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:07I, I don't even care that you hooked up with Lexi.
01:11:10Wait, what? I never did that.
01:11:13I mean, you don't have to lie about it. She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:21She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:24I wonder who it was.
01:11:27I don't know.
01:11:45At least this birthday's over.
01:11:58Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:12:01I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like, send me a sign?
01:12:28Excuse me, excuse me.
01:12:31Do you know where the church is? It's on Fountain Street.
01:12:35Um, yeah, that's the church I go to.
01:12:37Or used to go to.
01:12:38Um, it's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:44But you're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:12:47Oh, um, I don't know.
01:12:51Excuse me.
01:12:53Excuse me.
01:12:54I don't know.
01:13:02Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:13:05Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:13:10Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:13:14I don't think so, but thanks.
01:13:17What's your name?
01:13:18Sue. What's yours?
01:13:20Jesus.
01:13:22Really?
01:13:23Si.
01:13:26Maybe I could use a ride.
01:13:53Thanks.
01:14:23Thanks.