1 Fan From Every Premier League Club Competes For £10,000

Metatube

The closest Spurs have come to a trophy in 3000 years!  Apply for the main channel editing role: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_ShA3Mf93hZcgrOSDJp4PSghSP7yjjMHz10U_q6EOQ8/edit?usp=sharing Apply for the second channel editing role: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Ky8s7zUI972D8vYf4ZS_QSkucCXBbdwTuy9QiNvZF5M/edit?usp=sharing  Subscribe to Harry: https://www.youtube.com/@W2SPlus Subscribe to Ethan: https://www.youtube.com/@Behzinga Subscribe to Theo: https://www.youtube.com/@TheoBaker. Subscribe to Joe: https://www.youtube.com/@JoeWeller Subscribe to AJ3: https://www.youtube.com/@AJ3 Subscribe to JCC: https://www.youtube.com/@WorldofJCC Subscribe to Stephen: https://www.youtube.com/@StephenTries Subscribe to Ciarán: https://www.youtube.com/@ciarancarlin Subscribe to Cam: https://www.youtube.com/@CamKirkham Subscribe to Randolph: https://www.youtube.com/@RandolphPokemon Subscribe to Danny: https://www.youtube.com/@DannyAarons Subscribe to Arthur: https://www.youtube.com/@Arthur_TV Subscribe to Jacob: https://www.youtube.com/@TheBattersby Follow Alfie on IG: @alfieindra Follow Ollie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talkcpfc Follow Dan on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@l1nzo  ► Second channel: https://www.youtube.com/@chrismdixon10 ► Instagram: http://instagram.com/chrismd10 ► Twitter: https://twitter.com/chrismd10 ► Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OfficialChrisMD  If you want to know how I use popular music in my content - Lickd provide an affordable service to license mainstream music for use in monetised content. Save 50% off your first track on Lickd and improve your video quality with popular music: https://lickd.co/affiliate/chrismd  Music: 🎵 Music licensed from Lickd. The biggest mainstream and stock music platform for content creators.  00:01, 41:13 | Sweet Caroline by Brendan Bowyer & The Royal Showband, https://t.lickd.co/aMPYMgG67P3 License ID: AlbOY7AdeGn If you want to use music from famous artists, try Lickd to get track credits and unlimited stock music: https://app.lickd.co/r/0ce37751750f4695b902b39db2300faa  01:35 | Track: KDH & Andrew A - Overdose (feat. David Allen) [NCS Release] Music provided by NoCopyrightSounds. Watch more NCS on YouTube: https://NCS.lnk.to/YouTubeAT Free Download / Stream: http://ncs.io/Overdose  02:46 | Track: More Plastic & Halvorsen - Sunrise [NCS Release] Music provided by NoCopyrightSounds. Watch: http://ncs.lnk.to/MH_SunriseAT/youtube Free Download / Stream: http://ncs.io/MH_Sunrise  13:03 | Track: Ariadne - Karma [NCS Release] Music provided by NoCopyrightSounds. Watch: http://ncs.lnk.to/A_KarmaAT/youtube Free Download / Stream: http://ncs.io/A_Karma  23:04 | Track: CENTRIC - Overcome [Arcade Release] Music provided by NoCopyrightSounds Free Download/Stream: http://ncs.io/Overcome Watch: http://ncs.lnk.to/OvercomeAT/youtube  52:53 | Glad All Over (2019 Remaster) by The Dave Clark Five, https://lickd.lnk.to/qedRhUID License ID: GpyxxPeOyAq If you want to use music from famous artists, try Li

Transcript

00:00:00The wait is finally over. The world's most captivating sport returns for another year of drama, intrigue, beauty and suspense.

00:00:12Football is back.

00:00:30One die-hard fan from every Premier League club will today be playing for £10,000,

00:00:58but more importantly, the badge on their shirt.

00:01:00Each team will go head-to-head against another club in each challenge, earning 3 points for a win, 1 point for a draw and 0 points for a loss.

00:01:08The club that sits top of the league at the end of the video will win £10,000.

00:01:12We've solved the campaign against Arsenal with an Arsenal fan as today's referee,

00:01:16who has the power to hand out yellow and red cards to take points off people's scores.

00:01:21There are four challenges in total today.

00:01:23We start off spinning a wheel to decide what technique each head-to-head match-up will have to try and score with.

00:01:28The first fixture is Chelsea against Liverpool.

00:01:31Oh, Steven! You horrible c***!

00:01:36I have to say this. I think I'm a special one.

00:01:49There we go.

00:01:50What is it, dude?

00:01:52F***ing hell!

00:01:53What is it, Chrissie?

00:01:54Weak foot!

00:01:55Weak foot, Liverpool and Chelsea!

00:01:57Chris, I don't know if I have a weak foot. I think...

00:02:00I'm going to beat you here.

00:02:01Steven, if you'd start to stay over by the wheel, please.

00:02:04I've really embarrassed myself there.

00:02:06Come on, Harry! Keep going!

00:02:07Let's go, Harry!

00:02:08Come on!

00:02:09Come on, Asmatose!

00:02:13Look at the size of my ears!

00:02:15Harry Roger Shaw!

00:02:18Oh, he spunked it!

00:02:20I could be in Dubai with Theo's girlfriend right now.

00:02:22Right, Steven, if you don't score, it's a draw.

00:02:24This is for John Arnaresa.

00:02:26Go on, John Arnaresa!

00:02:28Just said, yeah.

00:02:29Come on!

00:02:31F*** off!

00:02:35That might have been one of the shittiest starts for a video ever.

00:02:38I've got a point. You haven't, mate, yeah?

00:02:40Five grand in my hand at the moment.

00:02:42Next up, Man United against Leicester.

00:02:47He's the biggest fool in Manchester.

00:02:49You are nothing, you are a fool, and you are a waste of time.

00:02:54Leicester City are champions of the Premier League!

00:02:58Let's see if you can perform better than him.

00:03:00Off volley, ooh!

00:03:02Now, let's see if he's a fox in the box.

00:03:04Go on, Leicester! You've got to get this one, mate!

00:03:09Good save, keeper.

00:03:10Do you want this, Danny?

00:03:11I'll try and tie it on to someone.

00:03:13Who can I tie it to?

00:03:14Why are you looking at me like that?

00:03:16His teeth are like this.

00:03:19Randy, how's life?

00:03:20That's all right. I've got rums.

00:03:22What are you going to do later today? Drive home?

00:03:24Drive home, go on.

00:03:25They've tied Randolph's laces together, that's good.

00:03:28Oh, that's schoolboy stuff.

00:03:30That's going to stop him from winning today.

00:03:33Goal.

00:03:34Goal.

00:03:39What a goal!

00:03:40He's got one!

00:03:41Offer!

00:03:42Offer!

00:03:43Team Offer!

00:03:44Yay!

00:03:45Right, three points to United on that one.

00:03:47Next up, Man City against Palace.

00:03:51On a human level, I quite like Palace.

00:04:01Let's not take this pissy.

00:04:04I certainly wasn't. I think you were.

00:04:06Let that thing fly.

00:04:07I did spin.

00:04:08You have?

00:04:09What the hell does that say?

00:04:10Rolling ball.

00:04:11Rolling ball?

00:04:12I'll roll my balls into your mum's mouth, mate.

00:04:15Fucking Hobbit.

00:04:18Eat it.

00:04:19It's in, it's in.

00:04:20Go on then!

00:04:23Well done.

00:04:24Sidstep, sidstep, sidstep.

00:04:25I don't think anyone saw that coming.

00:04:26Rolling.

00:04:27Bloody hell.

00:04:28Fucking hell, where did that come from?

00:04:30Wow.

00:04:31If I knew you could just kick it at the keeper, I'd throw it in.

00:04:34Doing it for all the eagles out there.

00:04:38Oh no, it's straight down the middle and it's three points to Kieran Corlin.

00:04:42Well done.

00:04:43I don't know what to do with myself.

00:04:45It's not easy when you're facing 115 criminal charges.

00:04:48You do it.

00:04:50And the ones Mancita are facing too.

00:04:56I'm active now.

00:04:57Next up, Ipswich versus Brentford.

00:04:59What a game.

00:05:00What a match.

00:05:09Who is the best fucking team in West London?

00:05:14What, do I just spin it?

00:05:15How they work normally.

00:05:18I'll tell you what, mate.

00:05:19Three points.

00:05:20That was a strong spin, to be fair.

00:05:22Volley.

00:05:23Oh, full volley, you know.

00:05:24I reckon he's got a fucking cannon on him, though.

00:05:26Let's go.

00:05:27Come on.

00:05:28One, two, three, four.

00:05:29One, two, three, motherf***er.

00:05:32That's it.

00:05:33Oh, yeah.

00:05:35I've got to go in.

00:05:36Now, one of these is creeping in, you know.

00:05:38One of these is creeping in.

00:05:41What the fuck are you doing?

00:05:42What the fuck are you doing?

00:05:43I was going to prise your bum all open, but I then decided not to.

00:05:46I'm scoring this.

00:05:47I'm scoring this.

00:06:00I'm scoring it.

00:06:01You got this, mate.

00:06:02I'm scoring this.

00:06:03Tie his legs.

00:06:04Tie his legs.

00:06:06Harass him, but not sexually.

00:06:07We got him.

00:06:08We got him.

00:06:09We got him.

00:06:10We got him.

00:06:11And then we got him.

00:06:12That's what you get.

00:06:13Yeah, it's close enough together, you'll be all right.

00:06:15Wait, here we go.

00:06:18I'll take a draw.

00:06:19I'll take a draw.

00:06:20Nil-nil.

00:06:21It's a draw.

00:06:22One point each.

00:06:23Nothing wrong with a point.

00:06:24I'm going to cry.

00:06:25Unlucky, guys.

00:06:26That was a tough one.

00:06:27A tough watch as well.

00:06:28Did you come down from Newcastle?

00:06:29Aye.

00:06:30Yeah.

00:06:31Full kit on the train as well.

00:06:32People thought that was a fucking deadline day transfer on the train.

00:06:37Going the wrong way.

00:06:39Newcastle against Spurs.

00:06:41Get in, Cam.

00:06:42Talk about his teeth and stuff.

00:06:44He looks like True Geordie's middle finger.

00:06:46Danny going for the first trophy Spurs have won since the Audi Cup in 2019.

00:06:51Is your editor right?

00:06:52You're not bad.

00:06:53Hello, my boy.

00:06:54I'll tell you honestly, I will love it if we beat them.

00:06:57Love it.

00:07:01We hate Tottenham.

00:07:02We hate Tottenham.

00:07:03We hate Tottenham.

00:07:04We hate Tottenham.

00:07:05The technique that you get to kick with.

00:07:08It's Rabona.

00:07:09Oh, fuck off.

00:07:13This is going to be deeply embarrassing for him.

00:07:15You can go first.

00:07:16You can go first.

00:07:17I'm going to have a bonus scene.

00:07:23From here.

00:07:24Rabona from there.

00:07:25I might as well kick her from Jersey.

00:07:28Chris, they've got no chance.

00:07:29So far.

00:07:30Chris, this is never going to work.

00:07:31Referee's a wanker.

00:07:32Referee.

00:07:33Who said that?

00:07:35Fucking little hobbit.

00:07:37God alone thing.

00:07:39Could this be one of his coldest moments?

00:07:41It's certainly one of mine.

00:07:44Oh, you fucker.

00:07:45Go on, Cammy.

00:07:46Keep it down, Marnie.

00:07:52That was almost sensational.

00:07:54Oh, my God.

00:07:55That was actually unreal.

00:07:57That went in.

00:07:58Oh, I think Danny can produce better than that.

00:08:01Could Danny Aron do it?

00:08:03Could Danny Aron steal it?

00:08:07Patting the badge.

00:08:08He was unsure where the badge was.

00:08:09But he's got the other side.

00:08:10He's got the other side.

00:08:11He's trying to try a left-footed Rabona.

00:08:16Go on, Danny.

00:08:22Point each.

00:08:24This is going to be somebody's father.

00:08:26Woolsey Villa.

00:08:27Oh, and Midlands Derby.

00:08:34Oh, what a goal.

00:08:36John McGinn with a blockbuster.

00:08:39It's been bad shit.

00:08:42Weak but just.

00:08:44The villains versus the wolves.

00:08:46Not the only villain on the shoot today, of course.

00:08:48What about?

00:08:49Arthur TV.

00:08:50Oh, my penis.

00:08:52Boom.

00:08:55Oh, my God.

00:08:56Oh, I've just seen he's got McGinnie Esther on his shirt.

00:08:59I instantly wanted to see that.

00:09:02I instantly want him to lose now.

00:09:04Hurry up, mate.

00:09:05Yeah, we don't need to see you keep up.

00:09:07Oh, he's killing you a bit.

00:09:09He referenced my ears.

00:09:11Intelligent.

00:09:12Smart.

00:09:13And kind.

00:09:20Wake up, Martin.

00:09:21Why don't you have a little sit down?

00:09:23I'm just going to share some job openings with our viewers.

00:09:26We are once again looking for talented and passionate editors

00:09:29to join our team in full-time roles.

00:09:31Specifically, we're looking to recruit one editor for the ChrisMD channel

00:09:34and one editor for the second channel editing workforce.

00:09:37You must be efficient across the Adobe suite

00:09:39with a passion for creating literal works of art.

00:09:41I don't need much paint for this.

00:09:43He is a small hobbit, after all.

00:09:44Making me a star.

00:09:49And creating bigger arcs than Noah.

00:09:54You'll be required to commute into our London offices

00:09:56working alongside myself and our illustrious team.

00:09:59Full details of the job descriptions and application process

00:10:02can be found in the description below.

00:10:06Brighton v West Ham.

00:10:10He's giving you interview time now, pal.

00:10:13Joe Weller against Ethan Bazinga.

00:10:17And one of them's going to be in pain at the end of this.

00:10:20Gorry has scored for the Seagulls.

00:10:24How important could that be?

00:10:33Spin that shit!

00:10:34Oh, you put some spaz on that, mate.

00:10:36Bloody hell.

00:10:37What have we got?

00:10:38He showed Seagulls a good time.

00:10:39Top corner!

00:10:41Top corner!

00:10:42How do you feel?

00:10:43Alright.

00:10:44OK, then.

00:10:45Do you feel good?

00:10:46Let's go!

00:10:50Here we go!

00:10:54What a goal!

00:10:55Come on, we're back in the game!

00:10:57Chrissie!

00:10:58That was a great finish.

00:10:59Come on!

00:11:00For Jared Bowen!

00:11:03OK.

00:11:07Yeah, three points to Brighton.

00:11:09Well played, well played.

00:11:11That really hurt my toes because I've been stood in the cold for so long.

00:11:15It really hurt my eyes, mate.

00:11:16How am I getting paler?

00:11:17How is this possible?

00:11:19I started off this video as an African.

00:11:21The mission to do the double is on.

00:11:25How tall are you, fellas?

00:11:27I don't really know, to be honest.

00:11:29I'm 6'5", I know that.

00:11:31Round in, then.

00:11:326'5", 6'4".

00:11:33You look young as well.

00:11:34Yeah, I just turned 18.

00:11:35Fuck off, fuck off.

00:11:37I found that on my birthday.

00:11:38I was coming here.

00:11:42Let's go, Jason!

00:11:44Fresh 18-year-old ready to destroy.

00:11:47Did you say you were going to destroy an 18-year-old?

00:11:49Yeah.

00:11:50Oh, you've got to believe it!

00:11:52Hamburg will host the final.

00:11:54Fulham will play in it.

00:11:59I will never make a video ever again in my life with Bournemouth style.

00:12:03Give them something good.

00:12:04Is there bicycle kicks on this?

00:12:05You can throw them in, though, if you'd like.

00:12:07Drag goggles!

00:12:08Yay!

00:12:09Why did I get weak foot?

00:12:11So fucking sure, man.

00:12:12I wish I had that one.

00:12:13I wish.

00:12:14Oh, we get it, Theo.

00:12:15You kicked the ball on both feet.

00:12:16This is how you score a football goal.

00:12:18JC, I can't see.

00:12:19Oh!

00:12:22He has no idea from where it's coming.

00:12:24I know where it is.

00:12:25No idea.

00:12:26It's in, it's in.

00:12:27Bottom corner.

00:12:28I don't know how they've let you have that top end.

00:12:30Mate, it's so far off the top end.

00:12:32I'm doing a double, bro.

00:12:33Scoring in.

00:12:34First time.

00:12:35This guy scares me.

00:12:36I think he's going to be good.

00:12:37I think it's just tall people that are scaring us.

00:12:40Every time.

00:12:41Not this one.

00:12:44Oh!

00:12:45Get out of there!

00:12:46That counts.

00:12:47Were you team?

00:12:48No, that counts.

00:12:49That counts.

00:12:50That counts.

00:12:51That counts.

00:12:52Get out of here.

00:12:53You're out!

00:12:54All right!

00:12:55A win to Fulham.

00:12:56Three points.

00:12:57It's a scam.

00:12:58I can't see anything.

00:12:59I think you're doing a really good job, ref, by the way.

00:13:02It's a joke.

00:13:03Absolute joke, guys.

00:13:04Right.

00:13:05Mixed reviews so far on the shoot.

00:13:06The payoff for this fucking Randy shoelace has taken a while to come.

00:13:10Forest v Arsenal.

00:13:11Oh, fuck.

00:13:12Oh!

00:13:15And you got a nice in time!

00:13:17Yeah!

00:13:19He's done it!

00:13:20That is a fail!

00:13:21You fucking little bastard!

00:13:23He's done it again!

00:13:24Where's the con?

00:13:32Randy, the name of Nottingham Forest contestant today,

00:13:35and also what I get when I see Theo Baker cooking a football pitch.

00:13:39If I lose to Randy and he's tied his laces together, I'll be embarrassed.

00:13:43He spun that wheel like he spins defenders on a football pitch.

00:13:47What does that say?

00:13:48I can't read up to that.

00:13:49Rolling ball.

00:13:50Theo Baker doing it for the Invincibles today.

00:13:52Invincibles.

00:13:53I'd absolutely love his hip to pop out now.

00:13:55Oh, look at me!

00:13:56A live football stand-up!

00:14:02Well done.

00:14:03Forward.

00:14:04Theo, mate.

00:14:05He grabbed it.

00:14:06Really forward.

00:14:07Well done.

00:14:08Stay humble, eh?

00:14:09Steve, you just kicked that ball away.

00:14:10A lot of people forget how good I am, don't they?

00:14:14Kicking the ball away.

00:14:15That's a yellow card.

00:14:16Yellow card!

00:14:17He kicked the ball away!

00:14:18He got the yellow!

00:14:19Yeah!

00:14:20That's not fair, Chris!

00:14:21Unfortunately, I've had specific guiding from the FA.

00:14:25Come on, Randy!

00:14:26Come on, Randy!

00:14:27Let's go, Randy!

00:14:28Let's go, Randy!

00:14:29Poor bloke.

00:14:30It's hard to watch this.

00:14:31Just put him down.

00:14:32Come on, Randy!

00:14:38Sorry, Theo.

00:14:39You can't do that.

00:14:40That's a minus one on your score, I'm sorry.

00:14:42That's unfair.

00:14:43That's cheating.

00:14:44I'll let you off this time.

00:14:45Everton v Southampton!

00:14:46Go on, Castillo!

00:14:47Andy, I'll make you feel at home.

00:14:49Woo!

00:14:50Everton!

00:14:51Everton!

00:14:52Everton!

00:14:53Everton!

00:14:54Everton!

00:14:55Go Reds!

00:14:56Go Reds!

00:14:57Go Reds!

00:14:58Go Reds!

00:14:59Go Reds!

00:15:00Go Reds!

00:15:01Go Reds!

00:15:02Go Reds!

00:15:03Go Reds!

00:15:04Go Reds!

00:15:05Go Reds!

00:15:06Go Reds!

00:15:07Go Reds!

00:15:08Where, where?

00:15:09Just about.

00:15:13This is a very Mysterio move.

00:15:15You're in big trouble, Kieran.

00:15:17There we go.

00:15:18Now we go forward.

00:15:20Yes!

00:15:23Very subtle spin, that.

00:15:24Weak, but...

00:15:27Is this the part where I pretend I'm actually right?

00:15:32I'm scared.

00:15:34Do it for Ken Reitz!

00:15:35Use your driver!

00:15:38Where is it?

00:15:39Weak foot, weak foot.

00:15:40Go Andy!

00:15:42That went in, right?

00:15:43There's a hole in the net, though.

00:15:45There's a hole in your mum.

00:15:47I've been there.

00:15:48Like a young Leonov.

00:15:50Strong boy, that man.

00:15:51Strong legs on him.

00:15:52Yeah.

00:15:53Love him right round my face in his fucking sweaty arsehole.

00:15:59Chris drives me to insanity, bro.

00:16:01It's a nasty headache.

00:16:04I tell you what, Boston was a prince.

00:16:06Top of the football world ever seen.

00:16:07He was expecting that.

00:16:08Right, keep going.

00:16:09Sudden death, sudden death.

00:16:14It's a great effort.

00:16:15This is pressure now.

00:16:16Can Nasha cash her in this opportunity?

00:16:24He is left-footed, man.

00:16:25He is left-footed.

00:16:26Yeah, we might have to check that.

00:16:29That's three points for Southampton.

00:16:31Well done.

00:16:32Well played.

00:16:33Finally.

00:16:34What a range of football ability we saw then.

00:16:36But a relegation battle proving to be one of the most entertaining match-ups.

00:16:39That's Challenge 1.

00:16:40Did we both lose?

00:16:41Yeah.

00:16:42Shit, boy.

00:16:43The comeback.

00:16:44The comeback, yeah?

00:16:45Two youngest here.

00:16:46Comeback.

00:16:47We're going to do it.

00:16:48Watch.

00:16:49It's Mancunian supremacy at the top of the league table after Challenge 1.

00:16:51Arsenal also in a strong position, but they probably still could do with Alexander Isak

00:16:56up front instead of Theo Baker.

00:16:58Not much may change between Randolph's score now and at the end of the video.

00:17:02And Ethan is getting his own back by now not turning up to my big event.

00:17:06Chelsea are currently also sat on one point, but the Football Fair Play Award may be out

00:17:11of their reach after the next five seconds.

00:17:15Sorry, Jess.

00:17:16You are.

00:17:17Make off a wee.

00:17:24He broke the wheel.

00:17:25I'm really sorry.

00:17:26What did you just do?

00:17:27I'm really sorry.

00:17:28I wasn't trying to do this.

00:17:29Yeah, he broke the wheel.

00:17:30Oh my God, he's actually broken the wheel.

00:17:31I wasn't trying to do that.

00:17:34I'm genuinely sorry.

00:17:35That was not intent.

00:17:36That was not.

00:17:37I was not trying to do that.

00:17:38What have you done, Rotor Sean?

00:17:39I was just trying to knock it over.

00:17:40Please don't call me because it was off camera.

00:17:42Okay, I'll take a yellow.

00:17:43I'll take a yellow.

00:17:44Yellow?

00:17:45Yellow?

00:17:46Get a grip.

00:17:47Yellow?

00:17:48Fucking hell.

00:17:52That's two yellows.

00:17:53Do you have anything to say to me?

00:17:54I love you.

00:17:55Tiny thing.

00:17:56Little weirdo.

00:17:57That's two yellows handed out there.

00:17:58One for Harry for vandalising our equipment.

00:18:00And one for Ethan Payne for not using his inside voice.

00:18:02Welcome to challenge two, which is a panna battle.

00:18:05You've got a 1v1.

00:18:07Most goals wins.

00:18:08If you get a panna, then you instantly win.

00:18:11First off, we have Brighton against Arsenal.

00:18:16The bubbly battle.

00:18:19Loser does a bubbly.

00:18:21Deal.

00:18:22Deal.

00:18:24Chris, this is a bloody good idea, mate.

00:18:27I encourage...

00:18:32You can't take my only point away.

00:18:42That's a good start.

00:18:43Yeah, gone well.

00:18:44He's not losing this one, fucking hell.

00:18:46He's got a bit of blout in him.

00:18:47It's a good physical battle.

00:18:49I'll take payment in bubblies afterwards.

00:18:57Get out of there.

00:19:00Don't get scared, Theo.

00:19:01Don't get scared, Theo.

00:19:02I left Brighton rough.

00:19:03It's him hard in the first one.

00:19:09He's a fucking rugby tackle, mate.

00:19:13No, fuck off.

00:19:16Diving.

00:19:17Diving.

00:19:18That was a big dive, unfortunately.

00:19:20That was a big dive.

00:19:21That was a big dive.

00:19:22That was a big dive.

00:19:23That was a big dive.

00:19:24That was a big dive, unfortunately.

00:19:26Yellow card to Theo Baker.

00:19:28Theo, you're getting done up here.

00:19:30He's walked off.

00:19:31He's walked off.

00:19:32Where's he going?

00:19:36Game's over.

00:19:37Game's over.

00:19:38No, no, no.

00:19:39It's one minute long.

00:19:40Yeah, the one minute wasn't over yet.

00:19:42No, we won't count that one.

00:19:44We won't count that one.

00:19:46Come on, Theo.

00:19:47Get you ready for the game, mate.

00:19:48It's still 1-0.

00:19:49It's still 1-0.

00:19:50Are you...

00:19:51Hang on.

00:19:52I'm not going to let this little cunt rest like that.

00:19:54Oh, we've got a goal.

00:19:55Second goal.

00:19:56Chelsea Dresden gets up.

00:19:58Gives him up for goal.

00:20:00It's just to the goal, it is.

00:20:02He's raging.

00:20:03He's raging.

00:20:04He's just being a trap.

00:20:07First of all, overly aggressive.

00:20:09Second of all, cheating down our achievement.

00:20:13I know what it is.

00:20:14Short and short.

00:20:17Yeah, OK.

00:20:18We're going to award the win to Brighton on that one.

00:20:20Three points.

00:20:22Brighton are on six points here.

00:20:23His piss is boiling.

00:20:25I'm human.

00:20:26I'm actually human.

00:20:27He's raging.

00:20:28Jealous.

00:20:29Oh!

00:20:30I didn't even do anything unfair, though.

00:20:33Right, Liverpool against Tottenham Hotspur.

00:20:35Oh!

00:20:37The Dom-Selanke derby.

00:20:39Oh, very good, Joe.

00:20:40Very good.

00:20:41Go on, mate.

00:20:42Not Meghiem.

00:20:43Meghiem.

00:20:44Oh!

00:20:46OK, we're going to do it.

00:20:47Let's have it, you ****.

00:20:48No.

00:20:49Oh!

00:20:53Ref!

00:20:54Ref!

00:20:55Destruction of play.

00:20:56No, I'll let him off with that one.

00:20:58Let him off?

00:21:00Let him off?

00:21:02He's ginger.

00:21:03He's had enough gone on in life.

00:21:04Look at that **** aggressive little squat.

00:21:06**** you.

00:21:07Let's see if this is ref's fair.

00:21:09Is that fair?

00:21:10He's complaining.

00:21:11Theo, I'm so terribly sorry, mate.

00:21:14Does that goal count?

00:21:15Yeah.

00:21:16What the **** is this?

00:21:18It's a goal!

00:21:1920 people celebrated.

00:21:20Move on!

00:21:2247 seconds.

00:21:23I was in my floaty thing.

00:21:24Danny, can you do cardio for that long?

00:21:27Go in there and make it all about you.

00:21:29Play on, play on, play on.

00:21:31That was worse than your one, Theo.

00:21:33He's just buried it.

00:21:34Done.

00:21:36That's a dive.

00:21:37That's a dive.

00:21:38Yeah, we'll give him the ball back, but that wasn't a yellow.

00:21:40Right, come on, Danny.

00:21:41We've got a fair game.

00:21:42Let's play on.

00:21:44Keep the football, please.

00:21:45Yeah, one more kick out like that and it will be a yellow.

00:21:47Ref!

00:21:48I'm playing football, ref!

00:21:51What is this?

00:21:53What is this?

00:21:54Ref, double yellow.

00:21:55Two yellows.

00:21:56No, unfortunately, unfortunately.

00:21:58It's a matter of rule.

00:21:59Sorry, is the referee going to make it all about himself?

00:22:01He's going to let the people **** do it.

00:22:02Standing on the pitch, encroachment.

00:22:04You're on the pitch, you ****.

00:22:06Double yellow for Theo Baker, unfortunately.

00:22:08You might be on minus points.

00:22:09You've been docked points.

00:22:10I don't give a ****.

00:22:12Right, it's his job to be on that point.

00:22:16Theo, what do I say now?

00:22:19You ****.

00:22:29One out of the way of the play for that one.

00:22:31Two seconds left.

00:22:32Give it me.

00:22:35He kicked it out, ref.

00:22:37He kicked it out.

00:22:43That's a red.

00:22:44It's a red.

00:22:4510 grand you've tossed me.

00:22:48I had it there.

00:22:49It's the same colour as his hair.

00:22:51Referee with a sense of fun.

00:22:52There he goes.

00:22:53Can we get someone fair in to ref this as well?

00:22:57I can't lie, the crew are getting pissed off with the ref as well.

00:23:01Right, match three.

00:23:02Newcastle against Crystal Palace.

00:23:06You're in trouble here, by the way.

00:23:07This is, yeah, you don't want cameras coming at you.

00:23:09This is a real panner match, this is.

00:23:12Guys, I think we just mute Theo for the rest of the video and his mic now.

00:23:15Do you know what to do?

00:23:16Should we just turn up our mics and mute us?

00:23:18Put it in his little **** leg hole.

00:23:20Do it to him.

00:23:21Do it to him.

00:23:22Do it.

00:23:23Oh, yeah.

00:23:24Oh, no.

00:23:25Hold it.

00:23:35Good enough for these followers.

00:23:36Yeah.

00:23:37Very good.

00:23:38Hand him the gold.

00:23:39That was sick.

00:23:41That was amazing.

00:23:43That's how you play panner.

00:23:44Right, three points to Newcastle.

00:23:45That was all me and Theo were trying to do, Chris.

00:23:48We now have Chelsea against Nottingham Forest.

00:23:55Why are you celebrating this?

00:23:57You said earlier, if I get the Randolph pull, I'll be well after you.

00:24:03Use your elbows, Randy.

00:24:07Are you mad at him?

00:24:08No, I'm not mad at him.

00:24:09Wait, wait, wait.

00:24:13No, that wasn't a panner.

00:24:14That wasn't a panner.

00:24:15He went through his leg.

00:24:16I retrieved the ball.

00:24:18Who's refereeing these games?

00:24:19Stevie, **** wonder.

00:24:21I don't think that went through his leg.

00:24:23What are you talking about?

00:24:26It definitely went through his leg.

00:24:28Of course it went through his leg.

00:24:29That wasn't cool, though, was it?

00:24:30It wasn't like a proper panner.

00:24:35It's done, Chris.

00:24:36Some of us have girlfriends.

00:24:37Can we go home?

00:24:38That was Danny.

00:24:39That was Danny.

00:24:41No.

00:24:43You're mad with power.

00:24:44Everybody.

00:24:45**** everybody.

00:24:47Not just one of you.

00:24:48Everybody in **** team.

00:24:50What's the verdict?

00:24:51No, yeah, we're giving Harry the match for that.

00:24:56Another controversial decision, eh?

00:24:58Controversial, yeah?

00:24:59Controversial.

00:25:00That's what we said at this end.

00:25:01It was a **** panner.

00:25:02Next up, we have Wolves against Everton.

00:25:04Big game, big game.

00:25:07It's the Wolves versus the Toffees.

00:25:10You've had a few too many Toffees.

00:25:12I'll tell you what, Chris.

00:25:16If I could smash anyone's face in, I think it's yours.

00:25:23Everton on the ball.

00:25:25He's held on to the ball like yellow.

00:25:26Yellow.

00:25:33It's all over.

00:25:35Three points to Wolves.

00:25:37Brentford against Man Utd.

00:25:41Let's see it.

00:25:42I want to see a madness.

00:25:43Just boot him.

00:25:44I'm going to absolutely kick him so hard.

00:25:46A scrappy one, this one.

00:25:48Yes, mate, yes.

00:25:49Look at that elbow.

00:25:50Get it in his face.

00:25:52If that was Harry, that would be a panner, wouldn't it?

00:25:57Oh, no, no, no.

00:25:58That's it.

00:25:59My words.

00:26:00We'll have a look.

00:26:01One second.

00:26:02Of course we'll have a look.

00:26:04I don't think so, yeah.

00:26:06Yeah, that was too easy.

00:26:09Some **** order, finally restored.

00:26:10It's a scrappy fix for this one.

00:26:11This is a tough one, guys.

00:26:12I'm playing for the draw.

00:26:20Brutal.

00:26:21Sensational.

00:26:22He's an NPC, isn't he?

00:26:24He did a madness.

00:26:26He's not allowed to celebrate.

00:26:29What is he doing?

00:26:32Good game, good game.

00:26:33Three points to Man United on that one.

00:26:35Nobody enjoyed that.

00:26:36Aston Villa against Leicester.

00:26:39Oh, wow.

00:26:40The long legs are not helping me, I don't think.

00:26:42I don't think they are.

00:26:43We know how you feel, mate.

00:26:45Yeah, we do.

00:26:46Yeah, we know.

00:26:47Talking's.

00:26:48Play ball.

00:26:49Oh, that's a bit of a dodgy pass there.

00:26:51Yeah, I suffered a few of those.

00:26:53Play ball.

00:26:56These are both good.

00:26:57There's trouble afoot here.

00:26:58Something's brewing.

00:26:59Yeah, Villa.

00:27:00That's a yellow.

00:27:01Do you know another one?

00:27:06Yeah, that's fine.

00:27:07Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:27:08That's fantastic.

00:27:10That might be the coolest thing I've ever seen.

00:27:12I know.

00:27:13Wow.

00:27:14It's amazing.

00:27:17Pick it up again.

00:27:18You pick it up.

00:27:19God, he's so tall.

00:27:20I got booked for this.

00:27:21I got booked for this.

00:27:23Oh!

00:27:25That's one all.

00:27:26Thanks, Harper.

00:27:28Come on, who's it going to go to?

00:27:30Oh!

00:27:31Oh, yeah.

00:27:32He's gone crazy with this one.

00:27:33Oh!

00:27:34That was it.

00:27:35That was it.

00:27:36Good game.

00:27:37Great game.

00:27:38That was a great game.

00:27:39One of the best we've seen so far.

00:27:40Well done, guys.

00:27:41Well done, boys.

00:27:42My feet are so cold.

00:27:43Yeah, mate, innit?

00:27:44Hell, it's Fulham against West Ham.

00:27:47And this is about to be cold.

00:27:50I'm going to let you put the poo in my legs.

00:27:52Are you?

00:27:53Yeah, just so it's done.

00:27:54The battle of the shit tattoo.

00:27:55The poo will come out on top.

00:27:57Have him.

00:27:58Have him.

00:27:59Have him.

00:28:00Oh!

00:28:01He was asking for it.

00:28:03Oh!

00:28:05Yeah, back to the referee, please.

00:28:07Yeah, that's gone out there.

00:28:09Oh!

00:28:11Oh!

00:28:15Boo!

00:28:16I hate to do that.

00:28:17I really hate to do that.

00:28:18I fucking respect it.

00:28:20And you've got to go aggressive here, mate.

00:28:21You're too defensive.

00:28:22You've got to...

00:28:23Oh!

00:28:24Oh!

00:28:25Well played, sir.

00:28:26Well played.

00:28:27He got put in a blender.

00:28:30Oh, Stephen.

00:28:32You can book me for that.

00:28:34I was having a laugh with my friends.

00:28:35Not you, ****.

00:28:36Oh!

00:28:38I've got to be consistent.

00:28:40That one.

00:28:41Yeah, get one.

00:28:42It's a red.

00:28:43I've already got a red.

00:28:45Have a bloody number one, then.

00:28:46This is like my hair colour.

00:28:50Oh, look at him.

00:28:51Pass it to John again.

00:28:52Have him.

00:28:53Back heel, quickie.

00:28:54Oh!

00:28:55Oh!

00:28:56Oh!

00:28:57Why not?

00:28:58Because it missed, it doesn't count.

00:28:59Get it.

00:29:00Get it.

00:29:01Two seconds left.

00:29:03Oh!

00:29:05Yeah, good game.

00:29:07Thanks for that.

00:29:08That was three points to Fulham, wasn't it?

00:29:10Wait, I left a gaping hole every time.

00:29:12I know, but I just...

00:29:13I know, but I just...

00:29:15Just ****ing roll it in.

00:29:16Southampton against Ipswich.

00:29:18No!

00:29:19Come on, boy!

00:29:20Come on, Alfie.

00:29:21Look at his legs.

00:29:22Great legs.

00:29:23Look at his calf.

00:29:24Oh.

00:29:26Oh!

00:29:27A red!

00:29:29A red!

00:29:30Oh.

00:29:31Ref, legs aren't allowed to be throws like that.

00:29:32Yeah.

00:29:33Oh!

00:29:34That's a punter.

00:29:36Oh, ref.

00:29:37Sorry.

00:29:38Good boy.

00:29:39Put him in his own goal, boy.

00:29:40Careful with those tackles, Iqwis.

00:29:42I'm actually scared.

00:29:43Careful.

00:29:45Oh!

00:29:47It's a good little match, this one.

00:29:48I'm liking this.

00:29:49Game on!

00:29:50No, ref.

00:29:51Oh, you're joking.

00:29:53Oh!

00:29:55He's not joking.

00:29:57That went through as well.

00:29:58Oh!

00:30:02I let him off.

00:30:03I let him off that one.

00:30:04That was close.

00:30:05That was a warning, Ipswich.

00:30:06Bournemouth against Manchester City.

00:30:08What a game.

00:30:10What a game.

00:30:11Kieran, show me something special.

00:30:13The time has come to bring on the champions.

00:30:17Guys, go out there and make our stamp.

00:30:18Stamp that you are the champions.

00:30:20The Carlinator.

00:30:21He's gone.

00:30:27Do it.

00:30:29Time's still going, Kieran.

00:30:30Time's still going.

00:30:32Time's still going.

00:30:33Get back in there.

00:30:34Time's going, Kieran.

00:30:35Oh.

00:30:36That's sad.

00:30:37Yeah, but that's embarrassing.

00:30:39What the fuck just happened?

00:30:45Someone complimented the length of my feet and I just...

00:30:47He wholeheartedly wanted that.

00:30:48You've got a golden snitch here still, Kieran.

00:30:52Fell over.

00:30:53Oh!

00:30:55Can it recover?

00:30:57He's going to whitewash it.

00:30:58Ocana's going to do this, you know.

00:30:59Final round.

00:31:00Go on, Kieran, mate.

00:31:05Never.

00:31:06It's a fair challenge if you ask me.

00:31:08Yeah.

00:31:12Go on.

00:31:13Show me something special, Kieran.

00:31:16Fucking nutmegging.

00:31:17Oh, yeah.

00:31:19Like Kiki Moussanta?

00:31:21Very good, actually.

00:31:26No.

00:31:27No timeout.

00:31:28Two seconds left.

00:31:29Good luck, Kieran.

00:31:33Good game, good game, good game.

00:31:36Well done on challenge two, everyone.

00:31:37Well done.

00:31:38Especially...

00:31:39Especially Theo Baker.

00:31:41None of the cards count.

00:31:42Just a little...

00:31:45Thought you were better than that, man.

00:31:46Bro, like, I was just competing.

00:31:48I feel like you just weren't trying as hard.

00:31:50No, you weren't competing.

00:31:51You were cheating.

00:31:52Bro, I'm protecting the ball with my body.

00:31:53No, you fouled me with two hands on the floor like that.

00:31:57What about all the stuff before that you were kicking off at?

00:31:59For no reason whatsoever.

00:32:02It really hurts.

00:32:03It actually does.

00:32:08A robbery, that is.

00:32:09I got fucking robbed.

00:32:11A rugby tackle me at my feet.

00:32:12No, Theo dived.

00:32:14I didn't see the rugby tackle.

00:32:15Skipped his leg.

00:32:16Yeah.

00:32:17I don't remember seeing a rugby tackle.

00:32:19Referees make mistakes.

00:32:21Go in there and make it all about you.

00:32:23Somebody call the ambulance.

00:32:24I've been watching Mike Dean compilations all evening.

00:32:27Of course I'm going to make it about me.

00:32:29Well, there you have it.

00:32:30Arsenal fans will accuse PG Moll of corruption,

00:32:33even when one of them is officiating.

00:32:35Joseph Weller is looking uncomfortably close to the top of the table again,

00:32:38and down at the other end of the table,

00:32:40Liverpool are rock bottom and looking unlikely to be lifting the trophy today,

00:32:45which has to hurt because, of course, to their fans, it means more.

00:32:49Big fan of your work, man.

00:32:53Welcome to Challenge 3.

00:32:54We devised at least one challenge with pure football ability

00:32:57as the determining factor to make this competition more fair.

00:33:01Here, both players will start on the goal line

00:33:03and race to the ball on the penalty spot

00:33:05using their strength and dribbling abilities to dominate their opponent,

00:33:08with the first person to score taking all three points.

00:33:11Oh, and they'll be in Zorb balls.

00:33:13First up, we have Nottingham Forest against Man Utd.

00:33:16Oh, yes!

00:33:17Fuck yes!

00:33:18Give him a serious injury.

00:33:19Crippling for life, come on.

00:33:2132, careless on the ball, slow.

00:33:24Round him out on fifth.

00:33:26Wow, wow, wow, wow.

00:33:28Let's have some respect.

00:33:30He's not wrong.

00:33:31Yes!

00:33:33Now put the Zorb ball on, Randy.

00:33:37That's dark.

00:33:38Oh, my God, I'm shitting it.

00:33:39Do I go for the ball or do I go for him?

00:33:41You take him.

00:33:42You take him out.

00:33:43Randy, get it higher.

00:33:44You don't want your head to break.

00:33:45You need to protect your skull.

00:33:46What on earth are you doing?

00:33:51Ready, you two.

00:33:52Oh, no, this is not going to end well.

00:33:54I think Arthur still wins this time, by the way.

00:33:56He's going to duke and he's going to duke it out.

00:33:59Oh, for God's sake!

00:34:02Glenda, no!

00:34:04Randy!

00:34:08Oh, no.

00:34:10Randy!

00:34:13Brilliant.

00:34:15Come on, Randy.

00:34:16Get into him.

00:34:17Go on, go on, get out.

00:34:18Oh, no.

00:34:21He's done it.

00:34:22That was cold.

00:34:26It's over.

00:34:27It's over.

00:34:33He's ruined it.

00:34:34No, that was good, though.

00:34:35That's very tiring.

00:34:36Very strong of you.

00:34:37Randy, fucking hell, man.

00:34:39Brighton against Spurs.

00:34:40Sonny!

00:34:41The two most aggressive people out there.

00:34:44The two worst boxers ever.

00:34:47What's your middle name again?

00:34:48Philip Thomas.

00:34:49Is it?

00:34:50Theodore Philip Thomas Schofield.

00:34:53Wait, what?

00:34:56That's not it.

00:34:57Where'd that come from?

00:34:58Where'd that come from?

00:35:01You know what's coming.

00:35:03We ain't playing football.

00:35:06You know what's coming, right?

00:35:08You on the floor, big boy.

00:35:09You on the floor.

00:35:11Night, night.

00:35:12Night, night.

00:35:13Can't wait to snog you, mate.

00:35:14What the fuck?

00:35:15More testosterone than a pure gym, this match-up.

00:35:18Tactical nuke incoming!

00:35:23Duke goes to Duke.

00:35:25Oh, no.

00:35:27Oh, no.

00:35:29No.

00:35:30Yeah, you need to be in the Zorb ball, unfortunately.

00:35:32He pushed it off me, son.

00:35:33Ready?

00:35:34Let's get it.

00:35:36We knew we were going to lose.

00:35:43Oh, my God.

00:35:44Evenly matched.

00:35:45Go on, Joe!

00:35:47You fucking donkeys.

00:35:51Take his fucking head off!

00:35:55He's got to win here.

00:36:02Yeah, we're going to have to give that.

00:36:04One of the worst goals I've ever seen.

00:36:07We did it.

00:36:08Finally.

00:36:09We can't give fucking Weller three points again,

00:36:11but I think we're going to have to.

00:36:12I think he won.

00:36:14Fuck knows.

00:36:16Brentford against Man City.

00:36:17Oh, Jesus.

00:36:18Brentford-Man City.

00:36:19This looks horrible.

00:36:21There might be a couple of broken backs in this one.

00:36:24Come on.

00:36:25Somebody die.

00:36:26I really don't want to do this.

00:36:27I might just let him score.

00:36:28This is rank.

00:36:29Do you feel claustrophobic?

00:36:30I fucking hate this.

00:36:33This is sickening.

00:36:34What is this?

00:36:38And then you tap.

00:36:39Tap him in your face.

00:36:40Oh, he's won, yeah.

00:36:41Get a grip of the game!

00:36:43Away!

00:36:44Away!

00:36:45It's a similar response he does to any fans who go near him.

00:36:47It's sad.

00:36:48They look up to him.

00:36:49Not literally.

00:36:50They look down on him physically.

00:36:51You've got public liability insurance.

00:36:52He's five at six.

00:36:53I'm going to...

00:36:55Can't whistle for that because that would look insecure.

00:36:59I wasn't going to.

00:37:01He just wants his lips around something that isn't his mother's teat.

00:37:08And that's how you escape a card, he thinks.

00:37:11Fuck it.

00:37:12He's so right.

00:37:15Go, go, go, Kieran, go!

00:37:18Yes.

00:37:19Yes.

00:37:20Go!

00:37:21Yes, yes, yes!

00:37:23Shit!

00:37:25He's punched a goal!

00:37:28How has Kieran not scored that as well?

00:37:30It's cheap, it's cheap.

00:37:31It's very cheap.

00:37:33Leicester v Wolves!

00:37:34Leicester v Wolves!

00:37:36Duke him out is my current game plan.

00:37:38How true that is, I'm not too sure though.

00:37:41I'm just going to absolutely ram him.

00:37:44Well, it's winning this considerably still.

00:37:45He's on nine points, mate.

00:37:46It's bad for the narrative.

00:37:47You should just maybe give it to someone else.

00:37:49Red card Joe for doing bubblies.

00:37:51Unless he does one right there.

00:37:54Blow that whistle, ref.

00:37:56Good boy.

00:38:08What a finish!

00:38:09He tried to bounce him.

00:38:11Wait till me and Andy get in there.

00:38:13Like two ox just mating in the summer heat.

00:38:16Not even in the Zorbs.

00:38:20Arsenal against Newcastle.

00:38:23Arsenal, Newcastle.

00:38:24Come on, Stan.

00:38:25Come on.

00:38:26You're a tall boy too.

00:38:27You're in trouble.

00:38:28It would be funny if Theo got hurt here.

00:38:30What are you doing?

00:38:31No, no, wait.

00:38:32I'm going to ask you a question.

00:38:33I've got a truce for you.

00:38:34Round one.

00:38:35I'm going to go for Chris.

00:38:37And then we'll have a fair one on round two.

00:38:38I'll go for him after he's won.

00:38:40There's no fucking truce.

00:38:41What do you mean, truce?

00:38:43He's got a chance.

00:38:44Truce?

00:38:45What do you mean, truce?

00:38:46He's going very wide.

00:38:48That's it, yeah.

00:38:49It's just not for Christmas.

00:38:56I was going for Chris.

00:38:58No, no.

00:39:00What are you doing, Malfoy?

00:39:04I missed it!

00:39:06You had it all the time in the world.

00:39:08What the hell was that?

00:39:10Tell me you did that on purpose.

00:39:11You didn't, did you?

00:39:12That was deadly serious.

00:39:13That was your three points for the taking.

00:39:18That's nasty.

00:39:20Come on, we want to see him fucked up.

00:39:22Kill him!

00:39:23Kill him!

00:39:24Fucking kill him!

00:39:25Kill him!

00:39:26Oh, little nudges.

00:39:28It's a little bit sensual now.

00:39:44Oh!

00:39:45Flapper!

00:39:47Oh!

00:39:48Oh!

00:39:50Oh, he's put it out of play!

00:39:53Yes!

00:39:54Come on!

00:39:56Well done, Arsenal!

00:39:58You can't just kick it out like that!

00:39:59I can't hear him, but I know he's complaining.

00:40:02You can't just kick it out.

00:40:03That's the end of the game.

00:40:04Wait, you can just boot it out and then that's it?

00:40:06Yeah, and then they shoot three cents over.

00:40:08And it's a draw.

00:40:10You don't want to play for the draw.

00:40:11That's what Arsenal did last season.

00:40:13Oh!

00:40:15He got put in a blender again.

00:40:17You had three attempts, Theo.

00:40:19No, but that was just shit though, wasn't it?

00:40:22Yeah, you have been boring this video, but that's not Chris's fault.

00:40:26Aston Villa against Bournemouth.

00:40:28Oh, bummer!

00:40:30So this is the high centre of gravity I warned you about.

00:40:33He's going to go flying.

00:40:34This is not comfortable in the slightest, though.

00:40:35A bit tight.

00:40:36I feel like a prime John McGinn right now.

00:40:38Golden.

00:40:39I think I'm just going to smash into him.

00:40:40Why not?

00:40:41Bang!

00:40:42John McGinn, good luck.

00:40:43What do you want?

00:40:44I said good luck.

00:40:45Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you too.

00:40:47Fucking tackle!

00:40:50Oh, that's what I told you!

00:40:52What the fuck?

00:40:53Oh, he's dead.

00:40:54He's finished!

00:40:55No!

00:40:57That was mental.

00:40:59This guy, I wouldn't let him anywhere near a football pitch again.

00:41:03He should be banned.

00:41:05That's a lot of money.

00:41:06I know it is, but is it worth losing a life?

00:41:09That's what you have to ask yourself.

00:41:10Why don't you drop in with a little drop of the shoulder?

00:41:33Why don't you drop in with a little drop of the shoulder?

00:41:41He can't recover!

00:41:42He can't recover!

00:42:01Intelligence.

00:42:02Ashton Villa, you mug!

00:42:05Like the fucking Matrix!

00:42:08Whoa!

00:42:09Yes!

00:42:10My tactics worked!

00:42:12My trousers are falling down.

00:42:13Can I have some help, please?

00:42:15Oh, he's fuming.

00:42:16I believe he's fuming.

00:42:18Well done, Cliver.

00:42:20What a distress.

00:42:21He said, oh, I'm going to fucking win today.

00:42:23What the fuck is going on?

00:42:25Fulham against Ipswich!

00:42:28I like you both, so just do a draw.

00:42:30God, I'm really, yes, my heart's pumping now.

00:42:33Oh, God, he's already bashing into the keeper.

00:42:35Sorry, Keith.

00:42:36Just warming up.

00:42:40Come on.

00:42:43They both bottled it.

00:42:50Wow.

00:42:51Sometimes David does beat Goliath.

00:42:53That was worth the Zorb ball deposit.

00:42:59Oh!

00:43:00Kicking the ball away!

00:43:01Wow.

00:43:02Kicking the ball away!

00:43:03You love this bit.

00:43:05I'm afraid that's going to be a yellow card for kicking the ball away, JCC.

00:43:08Thanks, ref.

00:43:09Doing really good again.

00:43:12Who wants to message the hottest girls in London on his hinge?

00:43:16Is this Chris MD's phone?

00:43:17Of course we'll have a look!

00:43:18His password's 6969.

00:43:19Stephen's what?

00:43:20Oh, shit.

00:43:21Stephen!

00:43:22He's so horny.

00:43:24Oh, my God!

00:43:25Oh, my God!

00:43:26Oh, my God, it was his password!

00:43:28I didn't even know that.

00:43:296969!

00:43:32Wait, is it actually?

00:43:33I guessed it!

00:43:34I guessed his password!

00:43:36I swear to God, I had no idea it was his password.

00:43:39It's the easiest for your thumb to type.

00:43:41Women of London!

00:43:43And men.

00:43:44Run!

00:43:456969!

00:43:46What the fuck are you doing?

00:43:48Everyone laughing at me.

00:43:49Cards for everyone, I think.

00:43:54West Ham against Chelsea!

00:43:56West Ham against Chelsea!

00:43:58Eat him!

00:44:01Poor guy's got a wife and kid doing this shit.

00:44:03Game's kind of gone, hasn't it?

00:44:04Yeah.

00:44:08You ready?

00:44:09You ready?

00:44:12These fights have no rules.

00:44:15The battles are exhausting.

00:44:19One bachelor makes his move.

00:44:26The male leaps into action.

00:44:31Using razor-sharp teeth.

00:44:35He aims for his challenger's testicles.

00:44:42Harry to win!

00:44:45He's been in the mud!

00:44:49Good job.

00:44:50I was going bottom left.

00:44:51I didn't mean to chip it.

00:44:53His masculinity intact.

00:44:55The male enjoys the rewards whilst he can.

00:44:58Baby, I'm gonna die there.

00:45:01He's riding Randy's car!

00:45:03Southampton Crystal Palace!

00:45:05Southampton Crystal Palace!

00:45:07Southampton's a joke, mate.

00:45:08He's a genetic freak.

00:45:13No horses could sleep standing up.

00:45:15Good luck, Ollie!

00:45:16Boom, boom, boom, boom.

00:45:18Mateta's in the room.

00:45:23Look at these two pussies.

00:45:25He's gone for an interesting tactic.

00:45:27That was too hard!

00:45:29Too hard!

00:45:33Oh, good block!

00:45:34Mate, you see that defending, bro?

00:45:36That is Joel Warden's pride, bullshit.

00:45:38I think Joe Weller's winning here, again.

00:45:40What?

00:45:41No one cares about Joe Weller twice.

00:45:43No, I know, but if he wins though,

00:45:45will he be able to sleep at night?

00:45:46Ooh, it's true, actually.

00:45:47Yeah, when you've got fair, hard-working fans here,

00:45:49you really could do with the money, mate.

00:45:51And you're a YouTuber.

00:45:52Wait, is this what happens when you start doing well on this channel?

00:45:54Like, he turns on you?

00:45:55Is this for a draw?

00:45:57Shut up.

00:46:00Let me have the ball!

00:46:02Give me the ball!

00:46:03Why don't they try and play actual football?

00:46:05All right, now kiss!

00:46:08Fucking tackle!

00:46:17Southampton have been hit!

00:46:30Oh, sorry.

00:46:31I don't even know what happened.

00:46:32Did you hit me?

00:46:33Yeah, yeah.

00:46:34Oh, I thought I just fell over.

00:46:37It's Liverpool against Everton.

00:46:42That's his arse.

00:46:43That's his arse.

00:46:46I'll go blue, Scalai.

00:46:47You're not having a blue one, you bastard!

00:46:48I'm a little worried that Joe Weller might win this.

00:46:52I kind of need him to miss the penalties.

00:46:55It smells a bit like wee-wee in here.

00:46:57Oh, it really smells like this.

00:47:00They're about to zorb!

00:47:02No, you're going to make me zorb.

00:47:04I was zorbed everywhere.

00:47:05Listen to the noise.

00:47:07We are set for quite an occasion.

00:47:14Game on!

00:47:18Oh, yes!

00:47:20Yes, keeper!

00:47:24Referee, intervene.

00:47:25Oh, no, I don't think so.

00:47:26No, I don't think so.

00:47:27Shut up, Theo!

00:47:28I bet if Steven was doing it, he'd be given a red card.

00:47:30Wouldn't you, you fucking silly tosser?

00:47:32What is his deal?

00:47:33At least you're not bothered, I suppose.

00:47:34No, I'm not.

00:47:35Just notice how Harry and Randy are sitting.

00:47:38Isn't it mad that your skeleton is the same as mine?

00:47:47I can let her in, boys!

00:47:57Do you think I'll get a yellow for choking Chris out?

00:47:59Nah.

00:48:00He can't give you a yellow, he's unconscious.

00:48:02He'll probably like it.

00:48:03That's true.

00:48:06Oh, no!

00:48:08Yeah, he's taken the draw.

00:48:13That's challenge three done, everyone.

00:48:15That's only two of us on nine now.

00:48:16Let's go, boy.

00:48:17I'm so excited.

00:48:18Let's go.

00:48:19Big penalty shootout coming.

00:48:20Going into our final challenge, it's looking fantastic for Arthur TV and Joe Weller,

00:48:25which means not fantastic for any of us watching.

00:48:28However, our challenge four is designed so that, in theory, anyone can still win.

00:48:32It is, of course, based around penalties, with each player simply taking penalties until they miss,

00:48:37and each goal they score earning them one point from the league table.

00:48:41Final challenge.

00:48:42I'm going to read out the scores, and the person who is in last will take penalties first.

00:48:47Oh, wow.

00:48:50It's Liverpool on minus three.

00:48:51Wow.

00:48:52Wow.

00:48:54Something I need to do.

00:48:56Sigurdsson!

00:48:57No fucking way.

00:48:59No fucking way.

00:49:00That is horrendous.

00:49:03Oh, why is Sigurdsson taking?

00:49:05Slot this away, please.

00:49:06Guilty!

00:49:07For Queen and country.

00:49:11Oh, there he goes!

00:49:13I've actually just been penalised by a paedophile.

00:49:15Try and get to 16, Sigurdsson.

00:49:1716!

00:49:18Oh!

00:49:20It's just me every time.

00:49:22Fuck off, mate.

00:49:23Just wasn't meant to be, you know.

00:49:25Oh, does he keep going until he misses?

00:49:27Yeah.

00:49:28Next up, on minus one, is West Ham.

00:49:35He misses this first time, by the way.

00:49:37We're going to be here for hours.

00:49:39Absolute hours.

00:49:44Yes!

00:49:46Yes!

00:49:49We're going to be here all day.

00:49:50Next up, on zero points, it's Arsenal.

00:49:53Come on, Malfoy!

00:49:59Oh, Kiefer, you've got to do better there, mate.

00:50:04No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:50:07Wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:50:10Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:50:19Oh!

00:50:22That was close.

00:50:23What do you mean like that?

00:50:24It was miles over.

00:50:25The hubris.

00:50:26The hubris took him out.

00:50:28Arsenal is out.

00:50:30Next up, we have Nottingham Forest.

00:50:35I probably want to score one.

00:50:36What am I going to do?

00:50:37What's going to happen here?

00:50:38Because, personally, I have no idea.

00:50:43Oh!

00:50:44Oh, what a fail!

00:50:45You don't say so!

00:50:47Don't get near them!

00:50:50Yes!

00:50:53Oh!

00:50:54Chris, what was Randy on?

00:50:55Zero.

00:50:56Oh, Randy steals it.

00:50:57Can you imagine?

00:50:58That would be scenes.

00:50:59I doubt that's happening.

00:51:03Oh!

00:51:04It's in!

00:51:05It's in!

00:51:06We'll have a look.

00:51:08Of course we'll have a look.

00:51:09That was in.

00:51:10That was in.

00:51:11That was in.

00:51:12That was in.

00:51:13That was definitely in.

00:51:14That really wasn't in.

00:51:15Shut up, Malfoy.

00:51:17I think we'll give it to him.

00:51:18We'll give it to him.

00:51:22Oh!

00:51:23Is that in as well?

00:51:24Well played, well played, well played.

00:51:26Next up, we have Everton on one point.

00:51:37Unlucky, you sweet, sweet toffees.

00:51:39Aston Villa on two points.

00:51:41Put it top bins if you're about it.

00:51:43Shove off, Malfoy.

00:51:47Oh!

00:51:48No scatters!

00:51:49Arthur, remember on penalties you can't stutter.

00:51:53Oh!

00:51:56Oh!

00:51:59Oh!

00:52:00Oh!

00:52:01What was that?

00:52:02Oh!

00:52:03Oh!

00:52:04Oh!

00:52:05Oh!

00:52:06Oh!

00:52:07Oh!

00:52:08Oh!

00:52:09Oh, Malfoy.

00:52:12That is so unlucky.

00:52:16Doing my best.

00:52:17Sorry, Villa fans.

00:52:18Next time.

00:52:21I feel sick, you know.

00:52:23Wait, I'm telling you.

00:52:24I don't know.

00:52:25I think I've just too much fucking, like, fucking shit banter today.

00:52:30On two points, we have Tottenham Hotspur.

00:52:33God damn it, boy.

00:52:40He's gone, he's gone.

00:52:41Bye.

00:52:45He's out of there.

00:52:49See that run, mate?

00:52:50Three points, Crystal Palace.

00:52:52Come on, then.

00:52:53Here we go.

00:52:55Eagle, you get it.

00:53:01Oh, good penalty!

00:53:04Yes!

00:53:07Penalty!

00:53:10Woo!

00:53:14Oh, no!

00:53:15He tried the Georgina and he got a nose!

00:53:21What the fuck?

00:53:23It's all him.

00:53:24It's all him.

00:53:25What the fuck was that?

00:53:26If I was doing it, he'd be loving it, all right?

00:53:28So that's not what's happened there.

00:53:30On three points, it's Fulham.

00:53:32There he is.

00:53:33Come on, Jon.

00:53:34Come on, Jon.

00:53:35Come on, Jon.

00:53:38OK, football is poetry, and I am the author.

00:53:44Oh, good pen for them.

00:53:46Looking like a primy wobby.

00:53:48Oh, right.

00:53:49OK.

00:53:55He went full ham on that penalty, and he fucking missed, didn't he?

00:53:58On three points, Man City.

00:54:01Is he in contention here? I don't know where the points are.

00:54:11He is now not in contention, no.

00:54:13Next up is Leicester on four.

00:54:15Oh, come on, Leicester.

00:54:20Stephen, no, give it back.

00:54:23Stephen!

00:54:24I need a score sheet.

00:54:26I need a score sheet.

00:54:33Please.

00:54:34The crew is laughing at him.

00:54:36Give me ten points.

00:54:38No.

00:54:44Oh, great pen.

00:54:45Get it off the ground.

00:54:50Get it off the ground.

00:54:53The impossible dream is getting closer to reality.

00:54:58Pick another side.

00:55:00Get it off the ground.

00:55:04At what point did the keeper dive the right way?

00:55:07Every time he's like, you can't do it for the eighth time.

00:55:13Oh, no.

00:55:15I wanted to go the other way, and then I had.

00:55:17Awful.

00:55:18Next up is Wolves.

00:55:20See you, little wee.

00:55:22It's bubbly time.

00:55:29Oh, this keeper's shit.

00:55:31Whack it, Toppings, if you're about it.

00:55:33At your mouth, Malfoy.

00:55:37Oh, but I rate him.

00:55:39I rate that.

00:55:42He didn't win the £10,000, but he did come home with respect.

00:55:47Ipswich, four points.

00:55:49He's next up.

00:55:50Come on, Alfie.

00:55:51Come on, Alfie.

00:55:55Go on, Alfie, put this in.

00:55:57That's a good pen.

00:55:58Beautiful, Alfie.

00:55:59Keep it going, mate.

00:56:03Oh, no.

00:56:05You started so early.

00:56:06I just spat everywhere.

00:56:08That is so embarrassing.

00:56:11I've not scored a penalty since the Hertfordshire Catholic Primary School tournament in 2015.

00:56:17Have you not?

00:56:18Time to change it, mate, isn't it?

00:56:20That was a good tournament.

00:56:21We failed.

00:56:22We were the best Catholic primary school in all of Hertfordshire.

00:56:24Hey, that's four.

00:56:25Next up, four points is Brentford.

00:56:27Come on, come on.

00:56:28Come on, let's go.

00:56:29Let's get this squad to win it.

00:56:36Yes.

00:56:37That is what I'm talking about.

00:56:39That's hot.

00:56:40This is your boy.

00:56:41This is Jack Black going for £10,000.

00:56:43Go on, Ardorton King.

00:56:49Forget Georgian.

00:56:50He was rushing to take that.

00:56:52That was a minute ago.

00:56:53Bottom left.

00:56:54Makes me sad, really, for him and his family.

00:56:56It's Newcastle on five points.

00:56:58Go on, Cam.

00:56:59Do not let Joseph Weller take £10,000 off me again.

00:57:05God, I haven't been this nervous since the final episode of Grease Anatomy.

00:57:08Nervous.

00:57:10Really nervous.

00:57:15That is a shocking penalty, that is.

00:57:18My goodness.

00:57:21Yes, Cam.

00:57:22Yes, Cam.

00:57:23Pressure's catching you, Arthur.

00:57:24Two more and he's level with you.

00:57:31No, no, no.

00:57:33Cam, you should have just whacked it top bins instead.

00:57:37It was so close.

00:57:39What a save.

00:57:46With five clubs left to step up in the shootout,

00:57:48United and Brighton are still in a great position.

00:57:51But from this point, they only need to score four penalties to take the lead.

00:57:55Surely someone can become a club legend.

00:57:57Next up, Southampton on six points.

00:58:01Well, might as well do it.

00:58:02Let's do this.

00:58:03Come on.

00:58:04Oh.

00:58:08Oh, yeah.

00:58:09I fear this man may cook.

00:58:12Yes, yes.

00:58:15Danny, that's cool.

00:58:16That's cool.

00:58:17That's cool.

00:58:18Ward Kraus against Woodman, who's flapping his hands in front of the Saints fans.

00:58:23Right-footed, scores.

00:58:25Top bins.

00:58:26Top bins.

00:58:27Top bins.

00:58:28That was in.

00:58:29That was in.

00:58:30It was just so nearly not in.

00:58:31That's why I was like that.

00:58:32It gets really annoying for the editors on the video to just keep going ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.

00:58:37Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.

00:58:55I don't like it.

00:58:56I really don't like it.

00:58:57I don't like it.

00:59:0010!

00:59:01Yeah, I think you lot are in trouble there.

00:59:03I think you lot are in big trouble there.

00:59:08Oh!

00:59:11I needed another one or two.

00:59:1311!

00:59:14He's in the lead!

00:59:15Next up, it's Chelsea!

00:59:16Yay!

00:59:17Let's go, Chelsea!

00:59:22Oh!

00:59:24Oh!

00:59:26Keeper!

00:59:28Is this Keeper Starstruck?

00:59:30He loves him, bro, for sure!

00:59:32Our favourite side man!

00:59:33Oh no!

00:59:34No, no, no!

00:59:37Oh no!

00:59:39That's the worst of Julian.

00:59:41I sat him down, though.

00:59:43I sat him down, I sat him down.

00:59:45Next up, Bournemouth on six points.

00:59:47Ooh!

00:59:48Out of nowhere, by the way.

00:59:50That's a nice one.

00:59:51Them cherries.

00:59:53That one was composed like last time, yeah?

00:59:59Come on, Bournemouth!

01:00:03Oh!

01:00:04Oh!

01:00:05What?

01:00:08Oh, shit!

01:00:10Oh, shit!

01:00:11He just boarded a train to Bin City.

01:00:16Don't think about the 10 grand, mate!

01:00:19No money at all!

01:00:23Oh!

01:00:24Oh, shit!

01:00:24Keeper!

01:00:26Keeper, come on!

01:00:28Arthur, you've lost.

01:00:29We need to cut him off.

01:00:30It's funny how Arthur actually is like,

01:00:31I'm gonna win this thing.

01:00:32What gives you that right to think I'm gonna win this?

01:00:35Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:00:38Arthur's fucking mad.

01:00:42Oh!

01:00:43Oh my god!

01:00:44Woo!

01:00:45Woo-hoo!

01:00:48No!

01:00:5010 grand.

01:00:52Oh!

01:00:55He's got one hand on the money!

01:00:57One hand on the cash.

01:01:01Oh!

01:01:03Money!

01:01:04This is outrageous!

01:01:07Look how composed he is.

01:01:15Joe's still zenning up right now, isn't he?

01:01:18What are you talking about, Malcolm?

01:01:20Joe's not even done one pen yet.

01:01:27Oh, look!

01:01:28He's just fucking rinsing.

01:01:30Chris, give him 10 grand and let's move on.

01:01:32Kind of seen that one now, mate.

01:01:34He's on 14.

01:01:3514!

01:01:36Great age!

01:01:39Oh, yeah!

01:01:40Oh, it's over!

01:01:41You're done!

01:01:42He's still a great age!

01:01:44I thought Vince wants you, dullard!

01:01:46Come on, seriously, give us something!

01:01:47Oh, don't call him a dullard.

01:01:49Oh, could be a yellow card for that.

01:01:50That was quite mean.

01:01:51You're an ace, he's angry ginger's busy.

01:01:56Oh, and the pressure!

01:01:59Oh!

01:02:00Oh, he's done it!

01:02:01He has done it!

01:02:02Oh, fuck!

01:02:03He's sissied it!

01:02:06No!

01:02:07No!

01:02:08Pressure?

01:02:10What pressure?

01:02:11Pressure is for tyres.

01:02:12It's a different generation.

01:02:14They don't feel it.

01:02:15Fair play, man.

01:02:17Fair play.

01:02:19Fair play.

01:02:20Fair play.

01:02:21Oh!

01:02:23An extraordinary comeback

01:02:25from Bournemouth!

01:02:30Oh!

01:02:32Arthur's got a ruck on!

01:02:34Arthur, you got a chance!

01:02:36One goal, one goal, one goal!

01:02:39It's good effort,

01:02:40but yeah, hopefully it can

01:02:42be enough.

01:02:42Next up on nine points,

01:02:45Joe Weller.

01:02:47Oh, Jose!

01:02:49I don't think it's good enough mate. You'll take that all day long. Sixteen.

01:03:00I could have scored way more than that. He's had his moment. Will he have another?

01:03:09One of them doesn't. No. There's so many. Well it doesn't.

01:03:16You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

01:03:23Fuck! It's the seagull! The seagull has landed!

01:03:33Fucking hell! Good man. He's so serious, I love it. He's in a different

01:03:44realm right now. How does this make you feel? I'm nervous. I'm very nervous. Maybe we'll

01:03:49let him win this one Joe, yeah? Just think of the comments mate!

01:03:54I won it mate! Go on! You're boring!

01:04:08Same again yeah?

01:04:24This game's horrible! What's he on? Thirteen now. Seventeen to beat right? Yeah.

01:04:34No, just go out there and enjoy it! Arthur, you might as well fuck off mate.

01:04:44You make me angry! Oh my god! Not a single smile. He's fucking locked in!

01:05:05Hey! How many is that now? Fifteen? He's on fifteen. I told you it's not enough!

01:05:15It's not enough. Oh no, no, no, no! We don't want to see a Joe Weller win again!

01:05:24When you try your best but you don't succeed.

01:05:38Look at his face, look at his face! One more. This is the draw. This is the draw right?

01:05:45Oh my god! It's unstoppable! Weller, you're a dickhead man!

01:05:56He's won it, he's for the win. Chris, I hate how Coldplay's just starting to play again!

01:06:03It's not another Coldplay man!

01:06:15People have been saying that I was brought to tears watching this.

01:06:23No one cares about Joe Weller twice.

01:06:33That's it! That's it!

01:06:45He's just banged nine in in a row. No one wants this.

01:06:56No one wants this! We've seen the Joe Weller art! You're fucking boring mate!

01:07:03Oh, fair dude! Look at his little face!

01:07:08Well done Sean. Well done mate.

01:07:11It's Man United to stop Brighton winning the trophy.

01:07:16You need ten to draw! You need eleven to win!

01:07:21That, that was magnificent!

01:07:24Yeah, you should probably shake the hand of the man you've just told.

01:07:28Go on Arthur! How many do I need?

01:07:31Chris, just start the trophy set. Do the trophy now.

01:07:36Have we bullied him? He don't want it!

01:07:47Yes! We did it!

01:07:50Come on!

01:07:53Yes! We did it!

01:08:04Unlucky.

01:08:11No one wanted that! No one wanted that!

01:08:15Get out of my face! He's a boring man. A really boring man.

01:08:20He's bullied a teenager. He's bullied an 18 year old. It's not fair!

01:08:24He's also not once come over to say sorry.

01:08:27Look at him! He's so full of himself! It's unbelievable!

01:08:30Yeah, but Joe won't have to do a Snapchat story tomorrow now he's got that ten grand.

01:08:34No one gives a fuck this time! It doesn't matter!

01:08:38Respect to you all. I love you.

01:08:42He's going to be awful, isn't he? Oh, shit.

01:08:48Respect, brother.

01:08:50All I wanted was to help you.

01:08:52I only wanted to help and what did you say to me?

01:08:59It tore me apart, but I learned an important lesson.

01:09:03You can't count on anyone, especially your heroes.

01:09:12I feel like everyone hates me this time.

01:09:30Joe Weller's definitely not my hero now.

Category

Transcript

Recommended