The Three Badasses Who Want Me (2024) - Full Movie
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list, arrives at Atlanta today.
00:00:12What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:00:16Angela, my next door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:21If your mother-in-law sees, she's going to throw a big fit again.
00:00:26Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:00:29What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply
00:00:32it to your penniless self?
00:00:34And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:00:38Alright, everybody get out!
00:00:41We got an important guest coming!
00:00:45You!
00:00:50You deaf?
00:00:51I said pack up and scram!
00:00:52I paid the staff here already, and if you want me to leave, then fine, but you have
00:00:57to compensate for today's losses.
00:01:00You want to say that again?
00:01:03You know who's visiting today?
00:01:06Ellen freakin' Musk, one of the richest people in the world.
00:01:09Ellen Musk?
00:01:10Of course, a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:01:13Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:01:17Really?
00:01:18Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market?
00:01:22You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:01:27Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:01:30Coming to see you?
00:01:31Alright, you know what, I'll play your game.
00:01:34If she does it so much as give you a glance, I'll eat dirt.
00:01:41Deal.
00:01:50Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within ten minutes, or else, you're fired.
00:01:57Hmm.
00:02:14Prepare the limo.
00:02:15Ms. Lockhart requires us immediately.
00:02:24Ah, your ten minutes is almost up.
00:02:26Good.
00:02:27Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:02:29Five, four, three, two, one.
00:02:41Ellen!
00:02:42Uh, I mean, Ms. Musk, uh, Ellen, uh, I mean, uh, I'm sorry that I, uh, sorry to frighten you.
00:02:50How's my boss bitch?
00:02:52Kickin' ass, girlfriend.
00:02:53So, how do you, like...
00:02:57She's my boss?
00:02:58Eh, I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:03:03No way.
00:03:07Well?
00:03:12No, no, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss.
00:03:14No, I won't do it again.
00:03:19Alright, that's enough.
00:03:20We're not tyrants here.
00:03:23Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:03:36You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:03:38The honorary bride.
00:03:41You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
00:03:46Who are you?
00:03:49Where is she?
00:03:51Atlanta.
00:03:53And you were right.
00:03:54It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:03:56My clever bride.
00:03:58I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:04:04Max, prep the jet.
00:04:07I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:04:12Dr. Wilson, Devin Sterling's on the move.
00:04:14He's headed to Atlanta.
00:04:16Atlanta?
00:04:17The game is afoot.
00:04:18I'm going.
00:04:20Wait, Dr. Wilson, the Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:04:22Wait, I need to pick up my bride.
00:04:28Dr. Wilson!
00:04:35General Eisenhower reporting, sir!
00:04:38Devin Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:04:41Atlanta!
00:04:43Where is that?
00:04:45Whatever, prepare my warplanes.
00:04:47Those two are going after my fiancee.
00:04:50This is war.
00:04:52No!
00:05:07I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper, to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project like you asked me to.
00:05:13Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:05:15This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:05:18That project is worth billions.
00:05:20He can finally take his company public.
00:05:22But, Angela.
00:05:24My boss.
00:05:26I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity.
00:05:32Without your backing.
00:05:34No offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:05:37Well, three years ago.
00:05:52You saved me.
00:05:58He saved me and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:06:03I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being with a billionaire heiress.
00:06:10But now, with this contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing and then I can finally come out to the public.
00:06:16So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:06:19I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:06:24But why work at the flea market?
00:06:27Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:06:31Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find.
00:06:36Plus, I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
00:06:40You seem happy being a housewife.
00:06:45Where the hell are you?
00:06:47Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:06:50Get home, stat.
00:06:52It's a big day today.
00:06:54That was...
00:06:56My mother-in-law, Carol.
00:06:58She judges me because she thinks I come from a lower-class family.
00:07:01But I'm not a lower-class family.
00:07:04I'm not a low-class family.
00:07:06I'm not a low-class family.
00:07:07She thinks I come from a lower-class family.
00:07:09But she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:07:15You know, she even remembered our 30-year anniversary.
00:07:23Please spend more time with my son.
00:07:27Hi, I'm home.
00:07:29I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:07:32Finally, you're back. Now sign the divorce papers.
00:07:34Divorce papers?
00:07:37Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
00:07:40Oh, God.
00:07:42Don't call me Mom again.
00:07:44We're ending that relationship.
00:07:46Just look at you.
00:07:48Dirt all over.
00:07:50You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:07:52You don't deserve my son.
00:07:54You're way below his league.
00:07:56I'm below his league?
00:07:58That's right.
00:08:00You are.
00:08:02Jared is signing a $100 billion contract tomorrow with the Ellen Musk.
00:08:08And then his company is going public.
00:08:11That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:08:14But you?
00:08:16You're still just a stinky, hippie peddler.
00:08:19Jared's like the king in the clouds.
00:08:22And you?
00:08:24You will always just be a pawn.
00:08:27Like dirt on our shoes.
00:08:30Dirt on your shoes?
00:08:33But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:08:36You're delusional.
00:08:38You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:08:41How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here?
00:08:46Resorting to lies is definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:08:50And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:08:57You're nothing.
00:08:59You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:09:05Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee.
00:09:08Not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:09:10Enough!
00:09:12Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:09:16But I am.
00:09:18Don't fight it, Angela.
00:09:20Here's $500,000.
00:09:22You'll never make as much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:09:25Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave.
00:09:28Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:09:32I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:09:36Did that not mean anything to you?
00:09:39Didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:09:42Fine.
00:09:44Here's another $200,000.
00:09:46$500,000 is too much for her already.
00:09:49She's done nothing.
00:09:51Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:09:53She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:09:56Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:10:00I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:10:04You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:10:09And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench?
00:10:13A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
00:10:17What a joke.
00:10:19If you actually love my son,
00:10:21you'll sign the damn divorce papers already.
00:10:24And leave.
00:10:27You really think that Jared would have gotten that Mabel Plaza bid without me?
00:10:32Let alone taking the company public?
00:10:35I did everything for you, Jared.
00:10:38Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:10:45It's all my work.
00:10:48Baby.
00:10:49Baby.
00:10:51We're going to be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:10:57You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:11:02So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:11:06She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:11:10Fine.
00:11:12I'll sign it.
00:11:14But don't regret it.
00:11:17Regret?
00:11:19Do you know who I am?
00:11:21Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed?
00:11:25I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:11:29Jared winning the bid on Mabel Plaza was because of my dad.
00:11:35Because he's business partners with Ellen Musk.
00:11:38It's part of the power that I have as an elite.
00:11:43You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:11:46Social stratum matters.
00:11:49Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:11:52And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:11:56And you really think Ellen Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:12:01Ha! You're delusional.
00:12:04Now sign the papers and scram!
00:12:10You owe me.
00:12:12You dirty bitch. You sicken me.
00:12:19You hit me.
00:12:24Now sign the papers, take a check, and get the fuck out!
00:12:42I don't need your pity money.
00:12:46We're finished.
00:12:47You don't want the money? That's your loss.
00:12:50Your check is just pennies to me.
00:12:54But I would like my ring back.
00:13:05Have fun on your economy flight while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here.
00:13:17And I'm way out of your league.
00:13:24Isn't that the Winston Blue Diamond Ring?
00:13:28It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:13:32Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:13:35Something she found at the flea market.
00:13:37You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive.
00:13:41Congrats, Jared Boo Boo.
00:13:44On getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:13:47Oh! My dad says there's going to be a secret big shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:13:54Bigger big shot than Ellen Musk?
00:13:57Yeah. And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:14:02Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:14:04Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:14:21Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:14:26Vanderbilt?
00:14:27Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies. Basically our employee.
00:14:31Okay, I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow. It's fine.
00:14:34You're still going to the summit tomorrow? But you and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:14:38That's exactly why I'm going.
00:15:01Angela Lockhart.
00:15:04I finally found you.
00:15:07Who is he?
00:15:09That? That's Devin Sterling.
00:15:12He's number one on Forbes' 30 under 30 list, an early investor of crypto, CEO of Sterling Enterprises.
00:15:18Rumor has it he's worth trillions.
00:15:21And he's your fiancé.
00:15:24What? My fiancé?
00:15:28The one and only.
00:15:30So, after running away and leaving me single for three years,
00:15:36have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet, babe?
00:15:47That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:15:53What is she doing here?
00:15:56You skank. My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:16:03Divorced?
00:16:05That's right. So, I guess this was never meant to be, Mr...
00:16:11Sterling. Devin Sterling.
00:16:15So she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:16:18Guess she's not just a forsaken woman.
00:16:20Guess she's not just a forsaken woman.
00:16:22She's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:16:28How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:16:31Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:16:34Do you know who I am?
00:16:37They don't know who you are.
00:16:40You hide it well.
00:16:42X-Team!
00:16:44Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:47Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:50Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:16:56You forgot to bring the security team.
00:17:03Mind if I, uh, borrow your men?
00:17:10Chelsea's ill-mannered ex out.
00:17:13You bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:17:18I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:17:25A kiss as a reward, my lady?
00:17:29No.
00:17:37Guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:17:40You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffett, old money like me.
00:17:44Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:17:48Pleased to meet you all.
00:17:49Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution.
00:17:52What an honor.
00:17:54I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:17:56It's worth billions of dollars.
00:17:58Congrats. You'll be next.
00:18:01But we haven't received the contract yet, but we deserve it.
00:18:04Oh, that's nothing. I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:18:07Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:18:11So, thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:18:15Thank you, Mr. Manville.
00:18:17Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:18:21Yes, I heard they're a very important and powerful guest.
00:18:26Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:18:29Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot, we can feast for generations.
00:18:38I'll do my best.
00:18:41Excuse me.
00:18:42Second gentleman.
00:18:44What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:18:49How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:18:51Me? A hobo?
00:18:53How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:18:56You sleep your way in?
00:18:57I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:19:00Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:19:03Don't flatter yourself.
00:19:05This is your ex-husband?
00:19:09What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:19:11Who the hell is this?
00:19:13You were cheating on me?
00:19:25Son, you have to avenge me and Kate.
00:19:29I'm sorry.
00:19:31I'm sorry.
00:19:32Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:19:35That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:19:41They even took Kaylee's tiara.
00:19:55You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:20:00Get your hands off of her.
00:20:02Get your hands off of her.
00:20:06My lady.
00:20:21My queen.
00:20:32It's...
00:20:34It's him!
00:20:36He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday.
00:20:39Who are these peasants?
00:20:41These seats are reserved for thee, Ellen Musk, and her special guest.
00:20:46Oh, shut up, old man.
00:20:49You're disturbing the peace.
00:20:53Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:20:55That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:20:56You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:21:00His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
00:21:04This civil war would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:21:08Vanderbilt.
00:21:10The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt,
00:21:14who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:21:19That the Lee Vanderbilt family?
00:21:21Oh, goddammit, a stomachache now?
00:21:27Whatever.
00:21:29Angela can handle herself. She'll be fine.
00:21:41How dare he!
00:21:43I'm sorry.
00:21:44I'm sorry.
00:21:45I'm sorry.
00:21:46I'm sorry.
00:21:48I'm sorry.
00:21:49How dare you call one of us low?
00:21:52I'm Harvey F. N. Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:21:58I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:22:02And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
00:22:06Not with me around.
00:22:08I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:22:13You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:22:17You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:22:21We've had enough of your games.
00:22:23Security!
00:22:24Break their limbs and toss them out.
00:22:27Looks like the old guard's teaming up against you.
00:22:30But don't worry.
00:22:31You got new money here.
00:22:35I can handle myself, thank you.
00:22:37Yes, my queen.
00:22:40You're all despicable.
00:22:43An insult to your family names.
00:22:47Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:22:51Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:22:54Cut off all business ties.
00:22:56And if you don't,
00:22:59I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:23:04I knew it.
00:23:05You're here to fuck with me.
00:23:07You can't fool anyone here.
00:23:09How much money did you spend on that getup to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:23:13You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:23:17You have nothing, and you will always be nothing.
00:23:22She's a gold digger.
00:23:24Gold digger?
00:23:25Gigolo.
00:23:27Wanna try me for a night?
00:23:30Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:23:32Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:23:35They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:23:38Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:23:40I'm not here to try and ruin my bid on the Maple Plaza project.
00:23:42Oh, I'm gonna kill that sushi chef!
00:23:45Security!
00:23:51Security!
00:23:53You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:23:56And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:23:58You!
00:24:00Insolent fools.
00:24:03Let me guess.
00:24:04You're that special guest?
00:24:06I don't know.
00:24:09Throw them out!
00:24:10And not without some broken bones, too.
00:24:19Back to our next.
00:24:24I got this.
00:24:39Whoa!
00:24:43Hey!
00:24:44Hey!
00:24:45No!
00:24:52What the hell are you two doing here?
00:24:54I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:24:56No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:24:59Oh my god, we're so screwed!
00:25:09Angela!
00:25:11Don't hurt her!
00:25:13You bitch.
00:25:14I've always been sick of you.
00:25:15You just threw yourself at me.
00:25:17How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:25:19Boss?
00:25:20Did she say her boss?
00:25:22Miss Musk?
00:25:23That's Ellen Musk?
00:25:25That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:25:28My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:25:31Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:25:34Past the American Revolution?
00:25:36Back to the Renaissance.
00:25:38If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:25:41That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:25:43She's royalty.
00:25:44And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:25:48What are you going to do?
00:25:50Kneel to me.
00:25:51Oh, your majesty.
00:25:54Welcome to the United States.
00:25:57We've always been your loyal subjects.
00:26:00Yes, your highness.
00:26:02Is it a queen or princess?
00:26:05It doesn't matter.
00:26:07My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:26:10We didn't mean to offend.
00:26:13What are you doing, you idiot?
00:26:15Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness.
00:26:28What rightfully belongs to you.
00:26:37She's a badass herself.
00:26:39He missed out on a good wife.
00:26:41You.
00:26:42You.
00:26:43You told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:26:46Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
00:26:49No.
00:26:50No.
00:26:51Don't believe their lies.
00:26:52I worked hard for everything.
00:26:53You worked for everything?
00:27:00I'm sorry.
00:27:01I'm sorry.
00:27:02I'm sorry.
00:27:03I'm sorry.
00:27:04I'm sorry.
00:27:05I'm sorry.
00:27:06Hey.
00:27:08So, our 30 year anniversary is coming up and
00:27:13I thought that maybe we could do something special this year?
00:27:16No.
00:27:17I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:27:18I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project,
00:27:21and if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:27:31You were nothing before me.
00:27:34All your achievements, all your glory, that's all mine, including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:27:42I can take all of that away, just like that.
00:27:46No, you can't take that away from me.
00:27:48That's why Elon Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody.
00:27:52Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:27:56Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:27:58It was Queen Victoria's, and its worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:28:04Oh, I gave you back the ring?
00:28:12I divorced a royal heiress?
00:28:15No, no, please, no, no, please take me back, baby, I still love you.
00:28:24Oh, man, looks like they've started the party without us.
00:28:27No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower.
00:28:35I've got to do these two again.
00:28:38Did he say, is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:28:41President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:28:43After General Eisenhower won World War II, each of his descendants have all gone on to
00:28:47become five-star generals, the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:28:50Bloody buffoons know your history.
00:28:52Sorry I'm late, babe.
00:28:53I got lost trying to find Atlanta, then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:28:57And that there is, that is the legendary boy genius, Dr. Wilson.
00:29:03He's Dr. House's protege.
00:29:05Dr. House?
00:29:07I thought that was just a TV show.
00:29:08Oh, no, that's based on a real figure.
00:29:10Yep, that's me, son of James House.
00:29:13Dr. House, he's practically my uncle.
00:29:16I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old.
00:29:20So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands for the last
00:29:24And I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop.
00:29:32Hey, Ellen, who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:29:36Uh, they're all your fiancées.
00:29:40What?
00:29:41Fiancées?
00:29:44Plural?
00:29:45Fiancées.
00:29:46Plural?
00:29:48Watch it, nerds!
00:29:48Watch it, nerds!
00:29:49Watch it, nerds!
00:29:50Watch it, nerds!
00:29:51Watch it, nerds!
00:29:51Watch it, nerds!
00:29:52Watch it, nerds!
00:29:53Watch it, nerds!
00:29:54I'm her fiancée.
00:29:55No, I'm her fiancée.
00:29:57You can both shut up.
00:29:58I'm her fiancée.
00:30:00It's you.
00:30:01It's me.
00:30:02Who the hell is he?
00:30:03I'm Spider-Man.
00:30:06How are all three of these men my fiancée?
00:30:11Uh, your father had arranged these engagements years ago,
00:30:13but I didn't tell you because he decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
00:30:18She has three badass fiancées and she marries his dumb ass?
00:30:24Okay, okay.
00:30:25Whatever.
00:30:26Since you're all here, help me finish them.
00:30:31Since you're all here, help me finish them.
00:30:36At your service.
00:30:38Me too.
00:30:43One down, two more to go.
00:30:45She's become queen.
00:30:47Bishop to G4.
00:30:49Ow! Ow! Ow! What is that?
00:30:53The most German fest and water in the Nile River.
00:30:55Ah!
00:30:59Rook to A8.
00:31:05Hello?
00:31:08I thought I was king.
00:31:09No, you wish.
00:31:11The king doesn't do anything, so Alan can be my king.
00:31:14Oh, fine.
00:31:17Bankrupt to four, it's right this second.
00:31:23I...
00:31:25I've been bankrupt!
00:31:27No!
00:31:29Who is it?
00:31:35I've been bankrupt!
00:31:37No!
00:31:39I told you I would remove all of you.
00:31:41No!
00:31:43I told you I would remove all of you.
00:31:46I told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:31:48Well, guess what? Game over.
00:31:50Alright, boys.
00:31:52Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:31:54Oh, that's serious business.
00:31:56I'm right with you!
00:31:58Wait for me!
00:32:00Nobody beats me to the finish line!
00:32:10And you're...
00:32:15You already have three fiancés?
00:32:17You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:32:19I...
00:32:21want compensation.
00:32:25You greedy SOB.
00:32:27Who the fuck is that?
00:32:29My ex-husband.
00:32:31Wait, you were married?
00:32:33Yeah, and if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:32:35More for me.
00:32:37No, no, of course not.
00:32:39Just...
00:32:41Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:32:43I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:32:45All evidence of your past with him will be gone.
00:32:47What?
00:32:49Is there something on my face?
00:32:51Uh, yeah. Murderous intent.
00:32:53Let's remarry.
00:32:55Let's remarry.
00:32:57You still don't realize.
00:32:59I only fell in love with you
00:33:01because you saved me from drowning
00:33:03three years ago.
00:33:13Okay.
00:33:31Sir, it's an emergency.
00:33:33We need to wreck right away.
00:33:35Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:33:39Okay, I'm on my way.
00:33:43I'll be okay now.
00:33:47Hey, you!
00:33:49Watch over here.
00:33:51I'll be right back.
00:33:59You saved me.
00:34:03Fuck.
00:34:05I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:09Fuck.
00:34:11You're my wife.
00:34:13You've cheated on me, you've hit me,
00:34:15and you've insulted me.
00:34:17And after all that,
00:34:19I never want to see you again.
00:34:21I fucking hate you.
00:34:23Middle Lady Lockhart.
00:34:25What?
00:34:27What now?
00:34:29Yes, we understand that you are a
00:34:31very busy person,
00:34:33but if you're not going to give your ex-husband
00:34:35the Maple Plaza project...
00:34:37How about us three?
00:34:39Come back, we won't turn on you.
00:34:41Yeah, no.
00:34:43You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:34:45But...
00:34:47This is your fault, you doofus!
00:34:49We never should have believed your bullshit!
00:34:51No!
00:34:53We can't lose our positions
00:34:55with Ellen Musk and the Lockharts.
00:34:59I'll get you for this!
00:35:01Hey!
00:35:07I never should have listened to you!
00:35:09I'm ruined because of you!
00:35:25So, what's the situation here?
00:35:27I want to marry you!
00:35:31I want to marry you!
00:35:37I want to marry you!
00:35:39Listen,
00:35:41I only met you guys
00:35:43a few hours ago, and
00:35:45I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:35:47But what if I told you
00:35:49that we've known each other
00:35:51for much longer than just a few hours?
00:35:53Much longer.
00:35:57Angela?
00:35:59Your parents would like to have a video call
00:36:01with all of you.
00:36:05My lovely princess,
00:36:07how are you?
00:36:09Look, your mother and I are in Italy!
00:36:11The views here are absolutely stunning!
00:36:13Perfect for a wedding,
00:36:15wouldn't you say?
00:36:17I heard you finally divorced
00:36:19that good-for-nothing,
00:36:21blood-sucking, freeloader husband of yours.
00:36:23Can't call his name,
00:36:25but anyway,
00:36:27congratulations!
00:36:29I've selected three prime young men
00:36:31for you to choose from to replace him.
00:36:33You must pick one of them
00:36:35to marry, otherwise...
00:36:37Let me do it.
00:36:39You must choose one of them
00:36:41in seven days.
00:36:43Otherwise, we'll kill ourselves.
00:36:45Mom!
00:36:47Alright, honey, that's it.
00:36:49Bye!
00:36:51Bye!
00:36:53So?
00:36:55Who are you going to choose?
00:36:59Well,
00:37:01what if I want all three of you?
00:37:03Well,
00:37:05what if I want
00:37:07all three of you?
00:37:09That seems greedy.
00:37:17But...
00:37:19I can always remove the other two options.
00:37:21Hey!
00:37:23I may be a doctor,
00:37:25but I can take lives too.
00:37:27I know and have access to all the deadliest
00:37:29poisons in the world.
00:37:31Well, okay. No murder, please.
00:37:33I was just kidding.
00:37:35You have seven days
00:37:37to win her over.
00:37:39It's like The Bachelorette.
00:37:41I know.
00:37:43We'll start with challenge one.
00:37:47Welcome to the show,
00:37:49asses who want me.
00:37:51Today, we have our first challenge.
00:37:55What is
00:37:57all of this, Ellen?
00:37:59You'll see.
00:38:07Oh my god!
00:38:09Cockroaches!
00:38:11All women are afraid of cockroaches.
00:38:13And it is every man's job
00:38:15to save their beloved woman
00:38:17from the monstrosity of a creature.
00:38:19What will our three candidates do
00:38:21to prove their undying love
00:38:23for our single woman,
00:38:25but screaming her head off heiress?
00:38:33Looks like one of our contestants
00:38:35has already called it quits.
00:38:37It's up to the final two.
00:38:47Oh!
00:39:01It's crunchy.
00:39:03That is sick cold.
00:39:05Hey, when you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield,
00:39:07you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:39:11There are two more left.
00:39:13Wanna try one?
00:39:15No!
00:39:17Oh my god, save me!
00:39:19Save you? You're gonna save me!
00:39:23I'm a germaphobe doctor.
00:39:25These hands can't get germs on them.
00:39:27They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:39:29Cockroach!
00:39:43Thank god you're here.
00:39:47Are you alright, honey?
00:39:49Angela!
00:39:53Alright, you won the first challenge,
00:39:55so your reward,
00:39:57you get to watch over her for the night.
00:39:59Just don't cross the line,
00:40:01if you know what I mean.
00:40:03I'm not her scumbag husband.
00:40:05You have nothing to worry about.
00:40:11Honestly, even if you guys fuck,
00:40:13it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:40:15At least my girlfriend gets some.
00:40:17I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:40:21The cockroaches!
00:40:23They're gone, they're gone.
00:40:25Don't worry about me, okay?
00:40:27I'm going to kill Ellen
00:40:29when I see her tomorrow.
00:40:33I need a drink.
00:40:43Whoa, easy!
00:40:45You're on an empty stomach.
00:40:47Why do you care?
00:40:49I'm trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:40:51You guys were right.
00:40:55I was blind for marrying that asshole.
00:40:59You know,
00:41:01I wasted three whole years
00:41:03of my life with him.
00:41:05He never even loved me.
00:41:07And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:41:13Do you really think that you would still be
00:41:15number one on the Forbes 30 under 30 list
00:41:17if I was around?
00:41:21You may not be number one on Forbes list,
00:41:23but you know what you're number one in?
00:41:25What?
00:41:31You're number one here.
00:41:37You know,
00:41:39we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:41:41Lies.
00:41:45You all just want something from me.
00:41:51Angela,
00:41:53I know it's hard to trust again.
00:41:57But I assure you,
00:41:59I don't care
00:42:01what family you're from.
00:42:03I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:42:05I don't need your power,
00:42:07your status, your wealth,
00:42:09your connections.
00:42:11I just need you.
00:42:15I'll prove my love to you
00:42:17within six days, I promise.
00:42:21Okay.
00:42:31Screw the contest.
00:42:33I just want love.
00:42:35Angela,
00:42:37you're drunk.
00:42:39I'm an adult.
00:42:41Can't a girl just get what she wants?
00:42:43Okay.
00:42:45But love and sex
00:42:47aren't exactly the same thing.
00:42:49Oh, they're not
00:42:51mutually exclusive either.
00:43:01This is what you want.
00:43:15Okay.
00:43:31Nine-inch penis.
00:43:33Morning to you, too.
00:43:35You sure you were drunk last night?
00:43:37You wasn't, uh...
00:43:39A girl remembers when she's had a
00:43:41nine-inch penis inside of her.
00:43:43Well,
00:43:45glad you enjoyed it.
00:43:47But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:43:49Because then
00:43:51they would...
00:43:53Say that you were being unfair?
00:43:55Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:43:57I won the first challenge,
00:43:59and according to Ellen,
00:44:01my prize was to spend a night with you anyways.
00:44:03Don't make this
00:44:05any harder than it already is.
00:44:09You sure you don't want it
00:44:11to be any harder?
00:44:13Stop.
00:44:17Fine, fine, fine.
00:44:21I won't tell.
00:44:23But only on one condition.
00:44:27I won't tell.
00:44:29But only on one condition.
00:44:31You have to go out on a date with me.
00:44:35Fine.
00:44:37I've had a crush on you
00:44:39since college, Angela.
00:44:41You never noticed me.
00:44:47You should get dressed
00:44:49and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:44:53It's only 7 a.m.
00:44:55She's still sleeping.
00:44:57I'm not sleeping alone.
00:44:59Yeah, I'm not letting my fiancé be alone
00:45:01with another man for another second.
00:45:03Morning, gentlemen.
00:45:05Oh, or shall I say
00:45:07ruffman?
00:45:09Oh, don't mind him.
00:45:11What's up, guys?
00:45:13We're ready for the second challenge.
00:45:15No cockroaches this time.
00:45:17Yes, no more terrifying things.
00:45:19That was my bad, Angela.
00:45:21This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:45:23I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:45:25The second challenge is...
00:45:27The second challenge is...
00:45:29a date.
00:45:31Lame. I should have asked for something else.
00:45:33That's it. What's the catch?
00:45:35No catch. Just who
00:45:37Ms. Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:45:39As simple as that.
00:45:41I know what I want to do. Let's start with me first.
00:45:43Okay. Who's up first? Then...
00:45:45Me. Save the best for last.
00:45:47Ain't that right, Angela?
00:45:49Then it's decided.
00:45:53Please!
00:45:55Don't take my BMW away!
00:45:57Too bad.
00:45:59You pissed off the Lockharts.
00:46:01I have nothing left.
00:46:11It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:15It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:25General Eisenhower, sir!
00:46:27At ease, Lieutenant.
00:46:29This is my lieutenant.
00:46:31He also manages this boxing gym.
00:46:33Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower!
00:46:35He's so serious. But hang on.
00:46:37Lieutenant!
00:46:39I don't know who I'm going to marry yet!
00:46:41Baby! I decided to take you here
00:46:43on our first date so that I can introduce you to my guns.
00:46:45Guns? Like...
00:46:47murder weapons?
00:46:49Yes. Murder weapons.
00:46:59You like my guns, babe?
00:47:01Pretty rock hard.
00:47:03Yeah.
00:47:05Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:47:07Lieutenant!
00:47:09Come close!
00:47:11Wait! You're just going to hit him like that?
00:47:13He's not even going to fight back?
00:47:15Fighting back would be treason, ma'am!
00:47:17Treason?
00:47:19You guys are way too serious.
00:47:21I'm sorry.
00:47:23I'm sorry.
00:47:25I'm sorry.
00:47:27You guys are way too serious.
00:47:29Look, you rock hard bitch!
00:47:31I caught you! If I'm going down,
00:47:33you're all going down with me!
00:47:35Lieutenant, here's your attack!
00:47:49You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:47:53I will make you pay!
00:47:57If you don't need to keep beating him up,
00:47:59we could just take him to the cops.
00:48:01Not when he tries to hurt you!
00:48:09Zoe's a bit violent.
00:48:11Some might call it being protective.
00:48:13Poor anger issues.
00:48:15What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster
00:48:17on an antique table or something?
00:48:19Is he going to be, like, rough?
00:48:21Hey, some girls are into that.
00:48:23I don't know if I am.
00:48:27Well, maybe shame will be your type.
00:48:31Your date with shame
00:48:33starts now.
00:48:39Hey, cool ride.
00:48:41A gift from the Chancellor of Germany
00:48:43when I saved his wife.
00:48:45Impressive.
00:48:49Your breath smells like
00:48:51peppermint. Refreshing.
00:48:53I got cool mint, too.
00:48:55Or do you prefer
00:48:57spearmint?
00:48:59What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:49:01Fruit flavored gum.
00:49:03I can't stand those.
00:49:05So, where are you taking me?
00:49:07Let me show you.
00:49:15Dr. Wilson!
00:49:17Our VIP of VIPs!
00:49:19Right this way.
00:49:21VIP of VIPs.
00:49:23I saved, I forget who.
00:49:25You saved a lot of people.
00:49:27I'll do what I can.
00:49:29Oh my gosh.
00:49:31It's my gold-digging neighbor who just got
00:49:33dumped by her husband.
00:49:35Sandra Miller.
00:49:37What are you doing here? I just thought this was
00:49:39for the VIP of VIPs.
00:49:41Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce
00:49:43and how you hired some gigolo to beat her
00:49:45and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:49:47Hello of you.
00:49:49What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:49:51Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:49:53I sell high-fashion jewelry pieces
00:49:55so high-end, you couldn't even afford
00:49:57even a few soldier organs.
00:49:59The auction begins.
00:50:01I'll deal with you later.
00:50:11Cameron,
00:50:13I have a task for you.
00:50:15Our next piece is
00:50:17absolutely extraordinary.
00:50:19Absolutely extraordinary.
00:50:21Cleopatra's armband.
00:50:23Sold by our vendor,
00:50:25Sandra Miller
00:50:27for five million dollars.
00:50:29Excuse me.
00:50:31I'd like to donate this piece
00:50:33to auction. It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:37I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:39It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:41What are you doing?
00:50:43Just watch.
00:50:45Come on.
00:50:47That's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:49That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:50:51Please.
00:50:53I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:50:55She probably got it at the flea market
00:50:57she works at.
00:50:59You work at a flea market?
00:51:01Cut the bullshit.
00:51:03That wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:51:05Here, you want it? For free.
00:51:07Ew.
00:51:09I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:51:11Well,
00:51:13that's too bad then because
00:51:15you are the fraud.
00:51:17What are you talking about?
00:51:19Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:51:21Throw them out.
00:51:23Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine
00:51:25but we're professionals.
00:51:27Oh yeah?
00:51:29And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:51:31Yeah.
00:51:33Mine is the real thing.
00:51:35You two are just upset because you're too
00:51:37poor to afford our luxury items.
00:51:39Why is that so?
00:51:41When a so-called expert
00:51:43can sell the recognized Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:51:45Dear Lord.
00:51:47This is real.
00:51:49It's authentic.
00:51:51It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:57Karen, what have you found?
00:51:59Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's
00:52:01armband you sent me?
00:52:03It's a replica.
00:52:05They had the same one right here at the flea market.
00:52:07So,
00:52:09you are the fraud.
00:52:11You just went to the flea market
00:52:13so you can buy some fakes.
00:52:15And Cameron, how much are these
00:52:17fakes being sold for?
00:52:19150.
00:52:21Wow. Not even five dollars.
00:52:23Sandra.
00:52:25You've been duping us the whole time?
00:52:27Arrest her!
00:52:29No!
00:52:31Please!
00:52:33What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:52:35Uh, investigating
00:52:37lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for
00:52:39the Emperor of Japan. Bye.
00:52:41Blacklist her from the jewelry industry forever.
00:52:51I
00:52:53had a really great time tonight.
00:52:55Me too.
00:52:57May I have a kiss?
00:53:09What's
00:53:11wrong?
00:53:13Something wrong?
00:53:15Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:53:21Yep.
00:53:23You never have to worry about stinky breath from me.
00:53:35You
00:53:37always owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:53:39I don't have any money.
00:53:41How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:53:45I guess you'll only pay up
00:53:49if I break your other leg.
00:53:51Stop!
00:53:55Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:53:59Mr. Buffett.
00:54:01This is the contract
00:54:03for the Maple Plaza project.
00:54:05That's right.
00:54:07Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:54:09I knew Angelo was still in love with me.
00:54:11I knew Angelo was still in love with me.
00:54:13No, no.
00:54:15Sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:54:17It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:54:19Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:54:23And then maybe you can
00:54:25tell Lady Lockhart
00:54:27to put in a good word for us?
00:54:29Angela still loves me.
00:54:31She's just throwing a fit.
00:54:33She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:54:35Yeah, do you need any help
00:54:37winning her back?
00:54:39We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:54:41I was just sucking up to these pricks
00:54:43a few days ago, but now they're all begging me
00:54:45to help them out.
00:54:47It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:54:49Sure.
00:54:51I'll put in a good word for you.
00:54:53I just need...
00:54:55Anything. You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:54:57Once I take everything from these
00:54:59idiots, I'll go after
00:55:01Angela Lockhart
00:55:03for my revenge.
00:55:09I'm giving the contract to Jared Cooper
00:55:11just like you asked me to.
00:55:13Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:55:17Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:55:19I don't get it, Ms. Musk.
00:55:21That contract has a preliminary clause.
00:55:23It requires him to pay 50% of the costs
00:55:25up front as a deposit.
00:55:27And if he can't, then what?
00:55:29He'll be bankrupt.
00:55:31So as long as he's greedy, I have to take it.
00:55:33I'm avenging my best friend.
00:55:35I want to show the world
00:55:37that without Angela Lockhart,
00:55:39he's nothing.
00:55:45I signed the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:47We should celebrate.
00:55:49You did?
00:55:51You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:55:53That skank Angela
00:55:55is nothing next to you.
00:55:57And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:55:59Actually,
00:56:01it's thanks to Angela.
00:56:05What?
00:56:07You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:56:09Oh, no, no, no, no. He's not.
00:56:11Jared, what are you doing?
00:56:13You have such a beautiful
00:56:15and bright future ahead of you.
00:56:17It's my decision, Mom.
00:56:19I'm the head of the house here.
00:56:21I'm telling my dad.
00:56:23Fine. Go right ahead. He has enough problems himself.
00:56:25If you're obedient,
00:56:27I'll keep you around as his side piece.
00:56:29But if not, you can scram.
00:56:31Dad,
00:56:33Jared is being mean to me.
00:56:35Teach him a lesson.
00:56:37Kaylee, be a good girl, okay?
00:56:39Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:56:41Don't get on his bad side.
00:56:43We can't afford to piss him off.
00:56:45So do as he says.
00:56:47But, Dad...
00:56:51I'm sorry.
00:56:53I'll be your side piece.
00:56:55Very good.
00:56:57I'm happy you've come around.
00:56:59Now let's go celebrate.
00:57:03I mean,
00:57:05do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth
00:57:07forever, though?
00:57:09But that tongue action, though.
00:57:11Tongue is important
00:57:13in more than just one spot.
00:57:15We aren't in public.
00:57:17It's true.
00:57:19Oh, stomachache.
00:57:21Again?
00:57:23I have to run to the bathroom.
00:57:25Devin should be here to pick you up soon.
00:57:27Devin's late.
00:57:29Not a good sign for a date.
00:57:33This hotel restaurant
00:57:35has five Michelin stars.
00:57:37It's her.
00:57:39And she's alone.
00:57:41With no one to save her.
00:57:43You whore.
00:57:45You seduced my son
00:57:47and I'm done with you.
00:57:51Let me tell you.
00:57:53I would never go back
00:57:55even if your entire family
00:57:57got down on their knees and begged me.
00:58:01Hey, you guys can fight all you want
00:58:03but you need to take this somewhere else.
00:58:05Whoever gets rid of her for me
00:58:07gets all this.
00:58:09Why do I have to leave?
00:58:11She's the one starting shit.
00:58:13Because I have money and you don't.
00:58:15I'm a peddler and my son just signed
00:58:17a 100 billion dollar contract.
00:58:19He still got the contract?
00:58:21Hmm.
00:58:23Must be Ellen's doing.
00:58:25Even if he does sign it,
00:58:27he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:58:29Oh, he's just gonna...
00:58:31Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:35Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:39You take my charity
00:58:41and toss it in my face
00:58:43as if it's your own.
00:58:45My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
00:58:47$1,000 to take her away.
00:58:51$2,000 to drag her away.
00:58:53$5,000 to beat her away.
00:58:59Oh, hey!
00:59:01Ow!
00:59:05You okay? Are you hurt?
00:59:07Ugh.
00:59:11Weakling.
00:59:13You! You! Just a few days ago
00:59:15you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
00:59:17And now you have two more?
00:59:19What a whore.
00:59:21What a whore.
00:59:23Yeah. And Jared wanted to get back with her?
00:59:25What if she has an STD?
00:59:27Oh, like sleeping with a married man
00:59:29wouldn't give you an STD.
00:59:31Let's go.
00:59:33We'll expose her to Jared.
00:59:35Hang on.
00:59:37What do you want?
00:59:39I'll scream!
00:59:41I don't hit women.
00:59:43But I never said I don't kill women.
00:59:45But I never said I don't kill women.
00:59:47I said I don't kill women.
00:59:49Oh, God.
00:59:51He is a murderer.
00:59:53What if he murders me?
00:59:55Not him. Definitely not him.
01:00:01We're not afraid of you.
01:00:03This isn't a war zone.
01:00:05You'll be removed from being a five-star general
01:00:07if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:00:09I was just messing with him.
01:00:11Was he, though?
01:00:13We're not afraid of you.
01:00:15Jared! You have to avenge us.
01:00:17Look at this slut.
01:00:19She's found two more boy toys.
01:00:21She's cheating on you. Don't get back with her.
01:00:23Oh, Mr. Cooper, it's you.
01:00:25I apologize for this scene.
01:00:27I'll toss out the potty crashes immediately
01:00:29so that you can go to your salvation banquet.
01:00:31Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:33Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:35The potty crashes.
01:00:39You have any idea who that is?
01:00:41That's my wife.
01:00:43We saved that title for the real skank over there.
01:00:45That's right.
01:00:47No, you're playing. Shut up.
01:00:49She's cheating on you.
01:00:51No, your place.
01:00:53You're just a side piece,
01:00:55if I still want you, that is.
01:00:57Eric, have you gone mad?
01:00:59I'm Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:01:01You slap her for this whore?
01:01:03Mom!
01:01:05They really think there's something, huh?
01:01:07Angela's an heiress to a family
01:01:09whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:01:11She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:01:13I only got the Maple Closet Project
01:01:15because she gave it to me.
01:01:17What?
01:01:19You apologize right now
01:01:21or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:01:23Uh...
01:01:27Uh...
01:01:29I'm sorry.
01:01:31No.
01:01:33This can't be.
01:01:35I made you a divorce.
01:01:39Go home.
01:01:41You're not suited to come with me
01:01:43to my celebration banquet.
01:01:49I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:01:51Honey, I know you came
01:01:53here to celebrate my achievements.
01:01:55I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:01:57I didn't come here
01:01:59for you.
01:02:01I'm on a date.
01:02:03A date with two men at the same time?
01:02:05She really is a whore.
01:02:07Angela, please forgive me.
01:02:09I really do love you.
01:02:13Oh-ho! Lady Lockhart
01:02:15is here!
01:02:17Oh-ho! Lady Lockhart
01:02:19is here!
01:02:21Yeah, yeah.
01:02:23We already know you beat Ford to effort.
01:02:25We're too old for that.
01:02:27They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:02:29Please, you gave me the contract
01:02:31so if anyone should go
01:02:33as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:02:35Oh, yes, please, Miss Lockhart.
01:02:37Join us. We'll all be one
01:02:39happy business family again.
01:02:41What the hell are you all doing here?
01:02:43Where were you?
01:02:45Stomach issues.
01:02:47Again?
01:02:49Would you like my diagnosis?
01:02:51No.
01:02:53Let me make myself clear,
01:02:55okay?
01:02:57I would rather die
01:02:59than be with you again.
01:03:01Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:03:03I can't lose face
01:03:05in front of these pricks.
01:03:07Otherwise, they'll cut me off, too.
01:03:09Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance.
01:03:11I'll prove it to you.
01:03:13You want a chance?
01:03:15You have three great guys here
01:03:17who all want to marry you.
01:03:19Don't take him back.
01:03:21I'll give you two choices.
01:03:23I'll give you two choices.
01:03:27Me
01:03:29or the contract.
01:03:31You're kidding me.
01:03:33No, I'm not kidding you.
01:03:35If you choose me,
01:03:37we can remarry this week.
01:03:39But you don't get
01:03:41the $100 billion contract.
01:03:43That choice is all yours.
01:03:45That's a tough choice.
01:03:47You think so? He either marries a royal heiress
01:03:49or gets a contract that takes his company
01:03:51to the moon. Either way, he benefits.
01:03:53Why can't I have both?
01:03:55You really are
01:03:57a greedy bastard.
01:03:59Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember?
01:04:01I deserve the contract.
01:04:03Did you really?
01:04:07Look who's
01:04:09fashionably late now.
01:04:11He didn't save her at the pool.
01:04:13Wait, what are you talking about?
01:04:15I...
01:04:17I choose the contract.
01:04:19I knew it. You'll get what's coming to you.
01:04:23With this contract,
01:04:25my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:04:27Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me
01:04:29in front of everyone.
01:04:31I will get you one day.
01:04:33Let me show you something.
01:04:41You saved me.
01:04:47You saved me.
01:04:49I'm sorry
01:04:51if his lies led to you
01:04:53wasting three years of your life.
01:04:55But I promise you,
01:04:57I'm gonna make it up to you
01:04:59with the rest of our lives.
01:05:01No, no, I wasn't lying.
01:05:03I just couldn't...
01:05:05can't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:05:08Does that mean
01:05:10we both each saved her once?
01:05:12What?
01:05:14Me?
01:05:16Dr. Wilson?
01:05:18Losing at saving people?
01:05:20No way.
01:05:22You guys, one of you,
01:05:24do something life-threatening right now.
01:05:26You're crazy.
01:05:28And actually,
01:05:30maybe I've been doing horrible things
01:05:32in my life.
01:05:34I don't know.
01:05:36Maybe I've been doing horrible shit
01:05:38behind your back.
01:05:40What?
01:05:42Mr. Sterling had me investigate
01:05:44their company's dealings.
01:05:46Turns out they've been fudging the numbers
01:05:48on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:05:50Put it simply,
01:05:52they've been stealing from you.
01:05:54I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:05:56Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:05:58I should have had third-party accountants
01:06:00check thoroughly.
01:06:02No, it's not your fault.
01:06:04Oh, God, no.
01:06:06Not that again. Please.
01:06:08Max,
01:06:10you know what to do.
01:06:24The banks have pulled all of our funds.
01:06:26All business ties have been severed.
01:06:28We're bankrupt!
01:06:34How did you do that?
01:06:36Who are you?
01:06:38And don't say Spider-Man!
01:06:40I'll tell you
01:06:42who I am.
01:06:44I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:48I am
01:06:50Crypto Punk Number Two.
01:06:52What did he say he was?
01:06:54That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:06:56You're Crypto Punk Number Two?
01:06:58Well,
01:07:00I'm Crypto Punk Number One.
01:07:02See? You are Number One at something.
01:07:04The most expensive NFT collection
01:07:06in the world.
01:07:08Forget Forbes' list.
01:07:10It's all about young money now.
01:07:12So, how about our date?
01:07:20I'm not letting anyone up me on this one.
01:07:22I'll spy too.
01:07:32They forgot
01:07:34to cancel my contract.
01:07:36I still have the $100 billion
01:07:38project.
01:07:40Yes!
01:07:42I'm rich!
01:07:44I can make them all pay soon!
01:07:52What?
01:07:54Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:07:56The Maple Plaza contract requires us
01:07:58to provide 50% of the costs up front.
01:08:00Otherwise, it's a breach of contract
01:08:02and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:08:04No!
01:08:06I'm bankrupt!
01:08:10You tricked me!
01:08:16Oh,
01:08:18allow me.
01:08:20I'm sorry
01:08:22I was late, my queen.
01:08:24Had to get some very important materials
01:08:26for our
01:08:28special date.
01:08:30Well, cheers.
01:08:32Cheers.
01:08:40This looks good.
01:08:46Did you use my spices?
01:08:48I know
01:08:50your ex-in-laws never appreciated you.
01:08:54You can have all the money and power
01:08:56in the world and you still can't
01:08:58force a man to love you.
01:09:00Couldn't even
01:09:02remember our anniversary.
01:09:06Angela,
01:09:10your future
01:09:12with me
01:09:14is going to be different.
01:09:16Come on.
01:09:18Upstairs.
01:09:26Come on.
01:09:36Wow.
01:09:38Devon, I can't believe
01:09:40this is what I've been missing out on
01:09:42these past few years
01:09:44just because of some silly mistake.
01:09:46Angela,
01:09:48I've known and loved you
01:09:50for three whole years.
01:09:52Actually, I've also loved you
01:09:54for three years.
01:09:56That's right. I fell in love with you
01:09:58three years ago, too.
01:10:00How is all of this possible?
01:10:02I didn't meet any of you
01:10:04until recently.
01:10:06Well, actually, maybe Devon,
01:10:08but...
01:10:10I've had a crush on you since college.
01:10:12You were my motivation
01:10:14to go to business school.
01:10:16Despite who you were,
01:10:18you never judged me for being poor.
01:10:20Are you trying
01:10:22to get hired at Fortune 500?
01:10:24All you do
01:10:26is babble on and on
01:10:28about Internet money, Bitcoin.
01:10:30Are you trying to steal
01:10:32my spot?
01:10:34I'll teach you a lesson.
01:10:36Shut up!
01:10:385C girl.
01:10:40I like her.
01:10:52How is he?
01:10:54It's a rare poison made from a mixture of dried roots
01:10:56found in Africa.
01:10:58Can he be cured?
01:11:00I actually think I know that poison.
01:11:02It sounds really scary,
01:11:04but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:11:06Household salt.
01:11:14I like her.
01:11:18There you go.
01:11:20Time is up.
01:11:22Oh, shoot.
01:11:24I'm late for swim practice.
01:11:32I like her.
01:11:34We have been rivals ever since.
01:11:36So, that's how
01:11:38I... well,
01:11:40we all met.
01:11:42I barely remember.
01:11:44I should have never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:11:46Matthew Richards,
01:11:48the guy who poisoned me,
01:11:50attacked you out of revenge.
01:11:52You wouldn't have known.
01:11:54I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:11:56That makes you feel any better.
01:11:58Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:12:00Angela, your seven days is almost up.
01:12:02Now that you know they all loved
01:12:04and fought for you for three years,
01:12:06who will you pick?
01:12:12How couldn't it be?
01:12:14Angela Lockhart
01:12:16and Ares?
01:12:20Kaylee,
01:12:22we've gone bankrupt.
01:12:24Bankrupt?
01:12:26The Vanderbilt's
01:12:28have gone bankrupt?
01:12:30Well then, get out of here!
01:12:32You can't do this to me!
01:12:36Jared!
01:12:38Mom, it's me.
01:12:40What happened?
01:12:42Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:12:44Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:12:46You should get back with your wife.
01:12:48We're bankrupt.
01:12:50What?
01:12:54Jared Cooper,
01:12:56we're here to
01:12:58repost your belongings.
01:13:00No one is going to save you now.
01:13:04Mom!
01:13:08What kind of an asshole
01:13:10throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:13:14Who will you pick?
01:13:18I...
01:13:24I brought you fried chicken.
01:13:26Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:13:28Yeah, he's right.
01:13:30I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:13:32Sucking up last minute!
01:13:34At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:13:36Hey, stop.
01:13:38Stop.
01:13:40Welcome back to the bachelorette.
01:13:42I mean,
01:13:44the three badasses who want me.
01:13:46I mean, Angela Lockhart...
01:13:48You know what I mean.
01:13:50Today, our heiress bachelorette
01:13:52will choose
01:13:54which one of our three badasses
01:13:56will she marry.
01:13:58Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:14:02Cole, the general?
01:14:06Or Devin, the CEO?
01:14:08I don't know.
01:14:12Looks like our bachelorette may need
01:14:14a little more time to decide.
01:14:16Oh, the suspense is killing me.
01:14:18But when she does,
01:14:20she will take this eternal rose
01:14:22made from glass imported from Venice
01:14:24and give it to our winner.
01:14:26Angela.
01:14:30Angela.
01:14:32Oh, I...
01:14:34I need more time to think.
01:14:38Uh...
01:14:40While our bachelorette
01:14:42takes a little time to decide,
01:14:44why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:14:46Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:14:50Let's start with Cole.
01:14:52Cole.
01:14:56There's not much to say.
01:14:58Who wouldn't want a five-star general
01:15:00who has huge biceps,
01:15:02a massive chest,
01:15:04who would protect their
01:15:06wife?
01:15:08Okay.
01:15:12Shane?
01:15:14Muscles.
01:15:16Money.
01:15:18They'll only get you so far.
01:15:20But you need a well-balanced man like me
01:15:22that has more than one way to keep a lady happy.
01:15:24If you know what I mean.
01:15:28Okay. I think we do.
01:15:30And Devin?
01:15:32That was quite disgusting.
01:15:36I just hope Angela's okay.
01:15:38I know she's going
01:15:40under a lot of stress right now.
01:15:42A lot of choices to make.
01:15:44And she's my queen.
01:15:46I just really hope she's okay.
01:15:48And one more thing.
01:15:50What kind of a doctor
01:15:52brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:15:54That's a good point.
01:15:56It's bad for her heart.
01:15:58And then you!
01:16:00What?
01:16:02You know what they say about military men.
01:16:04They beat their wives.
01:16:10Enough!
01:16:12Stand up!
01:16:14Hey, you guys.
01:16:16Whoa, break it up!
01:16:18Hey!
01:16:20Break it up!
01:16:22Ugh!
01:16:24Cut to commercial!
01:16:26Cut to commercial!
01:16:34Yeah!
01:16:46This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life.
01:16:50Who do I choose?
01:17:00Angela's marrying me!
01:17:02Oh, yeah?
01:17:04I may be a doctor, but like I said,
01:17:06I know and possess
01:17:08the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:17:12What don't you have in that coat?
01:17:14Fruit flavored gum.
01:17:16I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:17:18I'll fight you to the death.
01:17:20Don't forget about me.
01:17:22It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:17:28These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:17:30They do not. They do not help.
01:17:32Who made these?
01:17:52It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:17:54I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:17:56And I have the power of
01:17:58telekinesis!
01:18:16We may have to work together to take him down.
01:18:24This battle within our heads
01:18:26is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:18:28I may not be able to take them both down
01:18:30if they decide to team up.
01:18:32Hmm.
01:18:34Wintermate?
01:18:36Or Coolmate?
01:18:40You know,
01:18:42I've always really liked your hair.
01:18:44Really?
01:18:46I'm actually pretty much
01:18:48a fan of yours.
01:18:50Really?
01:18:52I'm actually
01:18:54pretty self-conscious about it.
01:18:56So I appreciate that.
01:18:58And you know,
01:19:00Cole, I've always
01:19:02really liked the way you talk.
01:19:04Really?
01:19:06Yeah.
01:19:08What do you got for me?
01:19:10I always
01:19:12really like the way you chew gum.
01:19:14Yeah? It's fresh, right?
01:19:16Yeah.
01:19:18Yeah?
01:19:20You're actually a really good doctor.
01:19:22You need me to look at you?
01:19:24I got you.
01:19:26Angela's been kidnapped!
01:19:28Angela's been kidnapped!
01:19:30It was Jared Cooper!
01:19:32That fucker!
01:19:34We have to find her.
01:19:36Her ring.
01:19:38Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring
01:19:40just in case.
01:19:42Well, let's go then!
01:19:44My fiancée!
01:19:48Jared...
01:19:54What am I doing here?
01:19:56You destroyed me.
01:20:00I took everything.
01:20:02What?
01:20:04I have nothing left.
01:20:06It's not my fault.
01:20:08You were too greedy.
01:20:10I was greedy?
01:20:12To have sex with my wife?
01:20:14I'm not your wife anymore!
01:20:16Oh, yeah, I know. You wouldn't take me back now.
01:20:18Not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:20:20This is illegal!
01:20:22You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:20:24You won't have me arrested.
01:20:26You will take me back.
01:20:28Ow!
01:20:30Oh, bitch.
01:20:32I'll settle you down a little.
01:20:34A little?
01:20:44You will be begging me to fuck you soon.
01:20:48Hey!
01:20:50Ansible, come back!
01:20:54You're too late!
01:20:56I drugged her.
01:20:58She'll be dead soon unless...
01:21:00And yet, have you forgotten who I am?
01:21:02He really does have everything in his coat.
01:21:04Everything except for fruit.
01:21:06Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum. You get it already. Just save my boss!
01:21:10Here you go.
01:21:16You're all good now.
01:21:18Oh, thank God.
01:21:20But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:21:22What? What are you going to do to me?
01:21:24Hey, stop! No! Don't!
01:21:28Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:21:32No!
01:21:36Glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:21:38Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:21:46So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:21:48We've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding.
01:21:50The Prince of Bhutan.
01:21:54And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:22:02Welcome back to the finale of
01:22:04The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:06We're down to the wire. Literally.
01:22:08The wedding day.
01:22:10But who's the groom?
01:22:24Welcome back to the finale of
01:22:26The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:28But who's the groom?
01:22:32Seems our heiress still
01:22:34hasn't decided.
01:22:36Any input from the parents?
01:22:38Maybe that will help sway our
01:22:40bachelorette's choice.
01:22:42This is exciting.
01:22:44Who should my daughter pick?
01:22:46Let me think.
01:22:50I like the doctor.
01:22:52He's cute.
01:22:56But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:22:58And we can't forget about
01:23:00Devon Sterling, the one who's loved her the longest.
01:23:02Isn't that right, Devon?
01:23:04Angela.
01:23:12You are all three
01:23:14very fine gentlemen.
01:23:16And
01:23:18I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:23:20But
01:23:22this was a really hard decision.
01:23:24And
01:23:26I decided to devise
01:23:28one last challenge.
01:23:30And
01:23:32I decided to devise
01:23:34one last challenge.
01:23:38I'm just kidding.
01:23:40I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:23:46Each of our candidates have saved
01:23:48our main character.
01:23:50I mean, bachelorette, once.
01:23:52They've all proven their undying love.
01:23:54So who gets to unlock
01:23:56Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:23:58Literally.
01:24:00Could it be
01:24:02the sexy and protective
01:24:04general with a temper,
01:24:06Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:24:12Or the fun,
01:24:14wicked-minded, but
01:24:16kind of weird,
01:24:18Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:24:20And last
01:24:22but not least, could it be
01:24:24the richest man of them all,
01:24:26the man Angela would have married
01:24:28a long time ago, Mr. Devon Sterling?
01:24:34Gentlemen,
01:24:36it's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:24:38May the best man win.
01:24:40May the best man win.
01:24:44Drumroll, please.
01:24:50Never gonna give you up.
01:24:52Never gonna let you down.
01:24:54Never gonna run around
01:24:56and desert you.
01:24:58Seriously, Ricky?
01:25:06I choose...
01:25:08this.
01:25:18I need the power of a strong man
01:25:20and I really feel like he can protect me.
01:25:24Who could resist those guns?
01:25:28Could I interest you in an N.F.D., Ellen?
01:25:30Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:25:38No.
01:25:46Shane, it's you.
01:25:48I'm lovesick for you.
01:25:50You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:25:54It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:25:58Ellen, be my new queen.
01:26:00I hope we can build together.
01:26:02Like guns, baby.
01:26:14It's always been you.
01:26:24I'll always love you.
01:26:28Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:26:32Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:26:34Have you seen my murder weapons?
01:26:36It's always been you.
01:26:38It's always been you.