Metatube
  • 2 days ago
This cost $10000 and I am sad now...
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Transcript
00:00I am about to spend thousands of dollars buying the most expensive games on Steam.
00:03I went to Steam, sorted by highest price, and I noticed there's tons of games listed at $300.
00:09What game could possibly be worth $300? Are these scams? Are they secretly amazing?
00:15I've set myself a $10,000 budget, and we're gonna buy a bunch of these games and see what's going on.
00:20There's a couple rules for this video.
00:21The game has to cost more than $100, and I'm not allowed to refund it.
00:25I'm gonna start more on the lower end, and we can waste more and more money as we go.
00:28This game's called Super Lumberjack. Costs $145.
00:32Uh, it's a 29 megabyte game. That is $5 per megabyte.
00:36Play a lumberjack. Your first task is to chop woods.
00:40Bro, this game is like seven pixels. I've spent $20 per pixel.
00:44We don't even get three dimensions.
00:45All right, my challenge is to get to 10,000 points.
00:48I'm doing great.
00:50Challenge complete.
00:51Yes! I passed the first level!
00:53Okay, now I have the choice of doing this 64 times or touching grass.
00:59Oh my god, I just fucking killed a bunny rabbit.
01:03They've added innocent NPCs.
01:05I'll tell you what though, I split that thing in half.
01:07Do not kill the rabbit or you will die.
01:10Okay, okay, I did- I missed that last time.
01:15Fuck bro, I just can't stop chopping!
01:19Get off rabbit, get off.
01:20Challenge complete.
01:22Okay, oh my god.
01:23I have an announcement. I'm addicted.
01:25I'm getting slightly better at not being a rabbit serial killer.
01:29Fuck!
01:30I gotta stop there.
01:31I've already played like half the levels.
01:33After this recording, I'm coming back and beating the entire game.
01:35Time to give it a review.
01:3610 out of 10.
01:37Apologize to the families of the rabbits I killed.
01:40First game, not a scam.
01:42Uh, just overpriced.
01:43This game is called Surplus.
01:44It costs $200.
01:45No one's ever reviewed it before.
01:47I'll be the first person to ever play it.
01:50This is it.
01:51The numbers go through my head.
01:53Oh, I've got to do maths and then pick the right square.
01:56I spent $200 and you're making me do mathematics.
01:59Dude, like what have I just spent my money on?
02:02I wish I could get my money back.
02:04That's it, I failed.
02:05But I think I want to vomit.
02:06The same developer has made a game called Equality.
02:09This one's $218.
02:10This game's so shit, it doesn't even go full screen.
02:12So I guess the ball's just got to drop down, huh?
02:15All right, well, I'm definitely getting scammed now.
02:17I've just put this guy's kids through college.
02:19Giving him $400.
02:20I feel like I got scammed by those two games.
02:22No refunding.
02:23That's the rule.
02:24Hopefully as the games get more expensive, they will also get good.
02:27This game's called Rush Red and Blue.
02:29It's $280.
02:31Look, it's obviously ass.
02:33Maybe it could be funny shit.
02:35I'm curious.
02:35Do I have to do it?
02:36Starting off with the fact that I can't read the menu.
02:39Vehicle doesn't even have like any textures on it.
02:41$280, we couldn't even get textures.
02:43All right, we're in a race.
02:45Okay, the bloody AI has teleportation abilities.
02:48For $280, couldn't even get working AI.
02:50He's stuck on my head.
02:52I'm being mounted by the AI.
02:54All right, let's see what happens when I win the race, at least, you know.
02:57Yes!
02:58Play it again?
02:59No!
02:59No, I won't do that.
03:00That- that was horrible.
03:01Scream or Die Virtual Circus.
03:03This is a $300 game.
03:05Come to the dark circus.
03:08Bro, this is so unbelievably creepy.
03:10This is like a ripoff of Digital Circus, man.
03:13I know the guy who makes that show.
03:14I should report this.
03:15What the fuck is that?!
03:17Oh my god!
03:20Ah!
03:21Ba- I paid $300 to shit my pants!
03:24But that is also a milestone, ladies and gentlemen.
03:26We have spent over $1,000.
03:28And so far, the best game has been a 2D lumberjack simulator.
03:32Holy shit.
03:33The next game is Archwillio.
03:36Looks like you just run through the woods as an anime character.
03:38This game costs $290.
03:41This is it.
03:42Like, this is the entire game.
03:44Okay, I've got to collect these like glowing apples or some shit.
03:47That's all- that's all there is to do in the game, I think.
03:51Well done.
03:51You find the- all fruits.
03:56Yo, what?
03:56Yo, I just hit play again.
03:58Turns out this is secretly a pirate game?!
04:01What?!
04:02I think I figured out why I spawned on a pirate ship.
04:05The exact same developer made a game called Cutlass Call.
04:08He's just reused the same assets to make a new game and also sell it for $300.
04:12I can't make an accusation like that without being 100% certain.
04:16So I have to play this game too.
04:18Let's just hit play and see what happens.
04:20Oh my god.
04:21It's the same opening cutscene and everything.
04:23Except now I'm a pirate instead of an anime girl.
04:26This dude has literally just copied and pasted games and is charging $300 for each of them.
04:31I'll find all the fruits.
04:32Oh my god, it's literally the same game.
04:34Except this time I'm finding like coconuts.
04:36I'm just gonna run up to that volcano and see if I can jump in it.
04:38All right, I found lava.
04:40If I've spent 280 bucks and I can't burn up and die horribly in this, I'm gonna be furious.
04:45Well, I died.
04:46All right, this guy has made a couple other games.
04:49We have to be really careful not to fall for it again.
04:51This is a game called I'm Rich.
04:53It has no reviews, probably because everyone else is poor.
04:56This is the game.
04:58Um, it's just a red diamond.
05:00You click it and it sparkles every now and then.
05:03Somehow this is not the worst use of money I've had today.
05:06What about if I click the I'm Rich button?
05:08Not just wealthy, I'm rich in every way.
05:10But I think this is all the game is.
05:12Um, I got the one achievement in the game.
05:14This guy is filthy rich.
05:16What a game.
05:16This is called Richest Thief.
05:18There's got to be more to it than the trailer.
05:20The developer of this game is going to be the richest thief.
05:23Well, the game is literally what you see in the trailer.
05:27Um, you know, they clearly displayed what the game was and I paid the price.
05:32What am I doing with my life?
05:34What did I expect to happen?
05:36Okay, maybe I finally found a real game.
05:39Okay, this game is called Forest Spring.
05:40With the arrival of spring, it is necessary to clear the forest,
05:43but you will get blood, not dust, on your hands.
05:45It's been a while since I've seen something that may actually be a game.
05:48Oh my god.
05:49It's got a gun on the ground?
05:51Oh my-
05:52Bro, is this Call of Duty?
05:55Oh my-
05:56Bro, it's got actual gun physics!
05:58This could be an actual game.
06:00What the-
06:01Is that a wolf?
06:01I'm not gonna shoot the wolf unless it attacks me first.
06:04Don't worry, vegans.
06:05Come on.
06:09Does this count as attacking?
06:10This is a bit awkward, man.
06:11This is a bit awkward.
06:13Um, I'm beginning to think this wolf might be indestructible.
06:15Man, when the vet put my dog down, they made it look so easy.
06:18Oh, okay.
06:19I think I've stumbled across the actual bad guys.
06:21Hey guys.
06:24Okay, no, I can actually kill these guys.
06:27This is epic!
06:30I've spent two and a half thousand dollars,
06:32and I finally have gameplay!
06:34Oh my god, there's gonna be some parent out there very upset.
06:37I killed their quadruplets.
06:38They're all identical, man.
06:40Definitely not worth $280,
06:42but compared to the other things I've played today,
06:44legitimately might be game of the year.
06:45I'm a quarter of the way through my budget,
06:47and I have not learned a single lesson about getting scammed.
06:50I knew these games were going to be shit,
06:52but the more expensive they get, the more depressed I get.
06:55Spooky man.
06:56This went mega viral,
06:57because at one point, this game cost a million dollars.
07:00I don't know really what it is.
07:01I think it's like some sort of horror game,
07:02but now it only costs $300.
07:04So realistically, this game is worth a million dollars.
07:07Now it only costs $300.
07:09So realistically, we're getting like a 3 million percent discount.
07:12After spending that money,
07:13I realized you can't actually play the game with less than three people.
07:16I was stuck in the lobby.
07:18It was unplayable.
07:19Am I allowed to refund that one?
07:21No, that's against the rule.
07:22Yeah, okay.
07:23It's against the rules.
07:23Ah, this is a game called Archaeology Medieval.
07:26Oh my god, I love archaeology!
07:28This is...
07:28This is the game.
07:29Somehow, this is the worst yet!
07:32The only thing medieval about this is the random medieval tavern
07:34that's just floating in the sky there.
07:36Literally, the sand is translucent.
07:38Oh, I think I've dug something.
07:39What is it? It's so hard to tell if like anything's here.
07:43Oh, I got an 80 coin staff!
07:46All right, this game is fucking dog shit.
07:47Look how many versions of this game there are.
07:50I thought surely the more expensive the games get, it's gonna get better.
07:54But no, I love getting scammed!
07:56Bunny's Buddy.
07:56It's a $300 game about being a bunny rabbit.
07:59The game has started.
08:00I'm a bunny rabbit.
08:01This is a game about a bunny rabbit shooting fireballs.
08:04I thought it was gonna get a good review for sure.
08:06I even spent an hour of my life playing it.
08:09This is...
08:09Fuck, this is a weird game.
08:10Until this happened.
08:12I'm on to the final boss fight.
08:13I've played this game for legitimately an hour.
08:18I'm stu...
08:19I'm...
08:20I'm fucking stuck on the stairs.
08:21It's being anticlimactic.
08:22I'm stuck in the stairs.
08:26No!
08:26I literally can't finish the game!
08:29I'm done.
08:30I'm done.
08:30This is the first game to make me rage quit.
08:32I'm not returning the game.
08:33I'm asking the developer to give me a refund.
08:36That's different.
08:36I still had a lot of money left in the budget.
08:39And I had to spend it.
08:40The next few games were very interesting.
08:43I spent $300 on a game that was the equivalent of a shitty Fortnite event.
08:47$300 on a cat surgery mobile game.
08:50And $300 on a game where you eat flowers.
08:53And hallucinate in the woods.
08:55Ya...
08:56Whoa.
08:58I didn't know it was gonna be that kind of flower.
09:00In fact, every game you're seeing on screen right now cost me at least $280.
09:05And every single one of them was completely garbage.
09:08This game looks like it's from a TikTok ad.
09:10But it still cost $290.
09:12This volleyball simulator cost $290.
09:15But it was actually kind of awesome.
09:17Oh my god!
09:18The butt shot!
09:20And we won!
09:21There was even a $280 school bus simulator.
09:24All right, I've picked up the child.
09:27That child is no more.
09:28But this next game, Save Giant Girl from Monsters.
09:31Maybe this...
09:32Maybe this will be good.
09:33It's got positive reviews.
09:34It's $300.
09:35Oh my god.
09:36We're playing the game.
09:37I gotta save her from the monsters.
09:39Oh, the balloons are attacking her!
09:41No!
09:42Is this it?
09:43Is this the game?
09:44The monsters are actually just giant balloons.
09:46I'm an engaged man.
09:48I don't want to make Yulsa jealous.
09:49I'm gonna have to let the anime girl die.
09:53I'm dead, I think.
09:56Oh no, I'm definitely dead.
09:57That game was legitimately the worst thing I've ever played in my life.
10:01You know the crazy part?
10:02It's a series.
10:02There's four of these games.
10:04They're all exactly the same.
10:05Recording this video, I knew I was gonna get scammed.
10:08I've just been buying the games, knowing they're garbage.
10:11But this is another level.
10:12How have I spent over $7,000 and there has not been a single good game?
10:16I decided I had to use my brain to figure out what was going on.
10:20About half of the games we've been playing are by the same developer.
10:24They just make hundreds of these, like, let's be honest, dog shit games.
10:28And then if we go to Steam Database, Save Giant Girl from Monsters,
10:32the lowest recorded price is $2, 99% off.
10:34So I think they make these games, charge a bunch of money, make them 99% off,
10:38and then hope someone buys it thinking they're getting a good deal or something.
10:41I don't know.
10:42Even though at this point, it's obvious every game is a scam.
10:45We only have the two most expensive games left.
10:48So let's see if they're worth it.
10:49The Leverage Game.
10:50This is $1,500.
10:51This was a business board game.
10:53You compete to run a business against other players,
10:55which doesn't sound too bad, except they use a lot of big words.
10:58You cannot manage what you do not measure.
11:00Make sure everyone measures their KPIs.
11:03Like, what are we talking about margins and turnover and-
11:06Why is this $1,500?
11:10There was no way I was ending the video with this.
11:13Okay, there is one more game left for me to play.
11:16The game is called True Love.
11:18It costs $750.
11:20The thumbnail is written in Microsoft Paint.
11:22Apparently, this game is created out of pure sadness.
11:25I have no friends, but I need to share my thoughts.
11:28It's by a guy who's heartbroken.
11:30Once I buy this game, we should roughly hit our budget of $10,000.
11:33I have basically set $10,000 on fire.
11:36Let's see if this is a scam like the rest of them,
11:38or actually a good game.
11:39Okay, this is the game.
11:40Greetings, wanderer.
11:41I am here because of the one woman.
11:43She was gorgeous.
11:44Her eyes were so bright.
11:45They could make the sun jealous.
11:46Game is undisputedly expensive.
11:48Yes, it is.
11:49Because losing her cost me too much.
11:50So he lost the love of his life,
11:52and he's making us feel the same cost.
11:54But instead of love, it's $750.
11:57The main objective here is to find seven nights.
11:59Each night will give you some advices about life.
12:01So it sounds like the developer of this game is heartbroken.
12:04So he's made a game to express that heartbreak.
12:06Yeah, I can just run into this car.
12:08Oh, I can drive the car.
12:09This guy's added driving physics.
12:11There's already way more features than most of those other games.
12:13The car has zero audio though.
12:15Couldn't afford that apparently.
12:16Is that a knight?
12:17Or is that Elvis?
12:18What the fuck?
12:20I think it's just an Elvis that is thrusting.
12:22All right, easy mistake.
12:24The map is 200k by 200k.
12:25It would take 138,000 minutes to go to the edges.
12:29That's 96 days worth of minutes.
12:31He did advertise huge map bigger than most.
12:34So he's not lying.
12:35Why the fuck is this map so big?
12:37I have no idea.
12:38So while you can, consider refunding it.
12:40He knows I'm not allowed to refund this game.
12:42He's mocking me.
12:42I may quit the game at some point,
12:44but I will not refund it.
12:45That's one of the knights.
12:46I've been searching for legitimately 35 minutes.
12:48I found one.
12:49What wisdom does he have for me?
12:50Do not squeeze her.
12:51Let her be.
12:52Let her choose to be with you,
12:53and try to be a choosable guy.
12:55And then he just disappears.
12:57Man, what the fuck is this game?
13:00Oh, I think I found another one.
13:01It takes me like 30 minutes to find each of these things.
13:03What wisdom will he have?
13:04Appreciate every minute you spend with her.
13:06You'll never know it will end.
13:07One day she can go, and then he just disappears.
13:09This is very emotional.
13:11I've just spent like an hour driving around in circles in the abyss.
13:14I don't think...
13:15I can't finish this game.
13:16I will not refund.
13:17Made me appreciate true love.
13:19Yeah, the game was bad.
13:21But at least it helped me appreciate the things I care about most in life.
13:24Like Ilsa.
13:26And Super Lumberjack.
13:27I went on to re-download that game,
13:29and I've beat every single level.
13:31Easily the best game of the entire video.
13:33Well, I've spent the entire budget.
13:34I have basically lit all that money on fire.
13:37Maybe, uh, because most of these were scams,
13:39you guys could let me refund them.
13:41Please?