Neil the Seal is an absolute MENACE

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That poor letter box man... Come vibe - twitch.tv/parzlive Discord if ya’ll wanna hang - https://discord.gg/fePBvskZ7b  Socials if ya’ll wanna see more of me being a brainlet Twitter - https://twitter.com/Parzlive Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@parzlive

Transcript

00:00This seal is such a menace that he routinely gets the cops called on him.

00:03Introducing our protagonist, Neil the Seal, a 600 kilo absolute unit of a southern

00:10elephant seal from my home state of Tasmania in the land down under, who is

00:14known for above all else being an absolute fucking menace to polite

00:18society. But despite his crimes, we all still truly love him. But what are his

00:23crimes? Well, see, he seems to just fucking hate traffic cones and road safety in

00:28general, has regularly been caught trespassing, and then once he has been

00:32caught trespassing, belligerently screaming at locals because they won't

00:35give him his fucking fish, and has been known to just block roads by plopping

00:40his fat ass down directly in the middle of them. However, hands down the funniest

00:44shit he has ever done was just straight stopping this random lady from going to

00:49work. I shit you not, this motherfucker crawled out of the ocean, up the beach,

00:55crossed the road, absolutely fucking bodied this woman's poor letterbox, and

01:03then proceeded to plant himself directly in front of her fucking car. She was then

01:09unable to go to work because this half-ton beefcake was camping her

01:14driveway for so damn long, local news had time to drive out to her house and cover

01:20the fucking story. Now this is a lot of menace for a single seal to cause, but

01:25the funniest part of this is, old mate isn't even fully grown, he's like five

01:29years old. If you think he can fuck things up now, wait until he's nearly two

01:34solid-ass tons of blubber, and takes issue with the wall of your house. I do

01:40not think that seal damage is covered on my fucking insurance plan, dude.

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Transcript

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