Married at First Sight (AU) S12 Ep19
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😹
FunTranscript
00:00:00It was a loved-up commitment ceremony.
00:00:03He's someone that I do have love for.
00:00:06That's Marina.
00:00:07It was so beautiful.
00:00:09And we've had a good time.
00:00:10But not everyone was embracing the romance.
00:00:13It's really lovely to hear that.
00:00:16But I don't feel it.
00:00:19Oh, my God.
00:00:22Stay.
00:00:23Adrian was put on notice.
00:00:25I wrote, sorry, leave.
00:00:27Giving him just one week to turn his marriage around.
00:00:31It's on your shoulders to really do some big-time lifting.
00:00:35And when Veronica caught up with Lauren...
00:00:38Elliot is a narcissist.
00:00:39He has literally no depth.
00:00:41The ex-wife did not hold back, voicing her opinion on Elliot.
00:00:45I feel so sorry for you.
00:00:47You can do a million times better.
00:00:49Run.
00:00:50And then...
00:00:51Hi, guys.
00:00:53Friends and Family Week saw most of our couple's loved ones give positive feedback.
00:00:59Eyes tell everything.
00:01:00All any parent ever wants is for their child to be happy.
00:01:03He hasn't been in a relationship for a while.
00:01:05So do you need to give him a little kick up the arse?
00:01:07Say, where's my compliments today?
00:01:09They are not good enough to be in your life.
00:01:10He is definitely not good enough to be in my nephew's life.
00:01:12But Athena and Adrian's lunch with their loved ones...
00:01:16How dare you?
00:01:17He has not even shown up.
00:01:19Not even once.
00:01:20...descended into chaos.
00:01:22I'm just... I don't need to listen to this.
00:01:24Goodbye.
00:01:24I'm done.
00:01:26Make sure you leave the apartment.
00:01:28How can you...
00:01:30Tonight...
00:01:33Friends and Family Week continues.
00:01:35We can see the way Karina looks at you.
00:01:38Yes.
00:01:38You look happy.
00:01:39You really do.
00:01:40You can tell the chemistry is definitely there.
00:01:43And I do see a future.
00:01:45It's a new beginning as a family.
00:01:46Yes.
00:01:47You are being unreasonable and I will not tolerate.
00:01:50What causes Veronica to lash out at Elliot?
00:01:53Do not raise your voice at me.
00:01:55I've had enough.
00:01:56This is so civil.
00:01:57I've had enough.
00:01:58Emotions reach breaking point as they navigate the first week of married life.
00:02:08And in an unexpected turn of events,
00:02:11which couple will announce their exciting baby news?
00:02:21No.
00:02:34I'm not... I'm really not okay.
00:02:38I actually brought up my son a few times just randomly here and there.
00:02:41And that's actually true.
00:02:44That's mean.
00:02:45Well actually, of course she did.
00:02:47She's a fantastic mother.
00:02:48So how about we lose that attitude about her being a mother?
00:02:50You're the only one there.
00:02:51I did not appreciate that at all.
00:02:53When did I say you weren't?
00:02:54The fact that you just snide and she's the best friggin' mother is.
00:02:57How dare you?
00:02:58How dare you?
00:03:00You deserve more than this.
00:03:01Actually, I'm just... I don't need to listen to this shit.
00:03:04It's a pointless conversation.
00:03:05It is.
00:03:06It really is.
00:03:07I'm outside anyway.
00:03:08Good.
00:03:09Make sure you leave the apartment.
00:03:11I believe you.
00:03:12I'm not even arguing. You talk here.
00:03:14Adrian didn't actually mean a single thing in what he said.
00:03:17He literally just said stay.
00:03:19Because he wants to re-control the narrative.
00:03:22And pretend that he's stepping up.
00:03:24But in reality, he wants to tell everyone how bad I am.
00:03:28I don't know what I've done so wrong to the man.
00:03:38He came to me.
00:03:40He came in here.
00:03:42They came in here with an agenda.
00:03:44I texted my twin.
00:03:46Saying, go easy on Adrian.
00:03:48He's told them.
00:03:50Have at her.
00:03:52I know how I feel inside.
00:03:54I feel hurt.
00:03:56And I can see in Adrian's eyes, he's not hurt at all.
00:03:59There's no hurt in him.
00:04:04I get that obviously emotions are high on both sides.
00:04:06But no one was attacking me.
00:04:09But no one was attacking me.
00:04:11We were simply asking the questions.
00:04:13Which is what we were brought here for.
00:04:15Had Cleo not been there, I think that conversation could have been a little bit different.
00:04:17More understanding.
00:04:21Cleo is just way too in the wrong.
00:04:23And obviously I'm emotional right now.
00:04:25And I'm upset too.
00:04:27But I've genuinely done nothing wrong.
00:04:32And I don't think Athena's going to see what her and her sister have done wrong.
00:04:34I genuinely don't.
00:04:36That was just **** Adrian.
00:04:38I actually feel drained.
00:04:40Can I go home now?
00:04:42It's just too much.
00:04:44Can we get you to stop?
00:04:46Yeah.
00:04:48And leave?
00:04:50Yeah, absolutely.
00:04:52I'm done.
00:05:02Did you travel back here alone?
00:05:04Yeah, I travelled back alone.
00:05:06Because I would gladly never be in Adrian's presence again.
00:05:12Had he just come in and
00:05:14actually started doing the things he said
00:05:19today would have looked a lot different.
00:05:27Yo, what's happening?
00:05:29Do you have anything to say?
00:05:31Not really.
00:05:33Nothing?
00:05:35I think today speaks volumes.
00:05:37Why would I want to say anything?
00:05:39I don't think you do either.
00:05:41Speaks volumes about who?
00:05:43You.
00:05:45Me? Yeah.
00:05:47Or your sister?
00:05:49Don't even try bringing my sister into this.
00:05:51You might treat me like ****
00:05:53talk about her once and I'll come at you.
00:05:55You treat me like ****?
00:05:57How do I treat you like ****?
00:05:59You have been this whole time.
00:06:01How do I treat you like **** today?
00:06:03I'm asking.
00:06:05Adrian, your family came in
00:06:07on attack mode for me.
00:06:09It could have gone very differently.
00:06:11We could have all just sat there
00:06:13and had to defend me.
00:06:15That's what she did.
00:06:17She defended me.
00:06:19Today could have looked very different.
00:06:21I'm actually quite embarrassed.
00:06:23No, I'm not.
00:06:26My twin sister is beautiful and amazing
00:06:28and she stuck up for me.
00:06:30Honestly, I don't even care.
00:06:32I'm embarrassed for you.
00:06:34Leave.
00:06:36I'm embarrassed for you.
00:06:38I'm embarrassed for you.
00:06:40Guess what, mate?
00:06:42I don't have to listen to you anymore.
00:06:44I don't care.
00:06:46I really don't, Adrian.
00:06:48How old are you, mate?
00:06:50How old are you, mate?
00:06:52How old are you, mate?
00:06:54I've listened to you this whole time
00:06:56and to be honest
00:06:58I don't need to anymore.
00:07:00Leave.
00:07:02Bye. Don't ever come back.
00:07:04See ya.
00:07:13Yeah, right now I feel
00:07:15so awful for her and her sister.
00:07:17Clearly
00:07:19she cannot see where her sister went wrong.
00:07:21Just like I thought.
00:07:24A lot of the time
00:07:26I've taken accountability for my actions
00:07:28and I've said sorry and made mistakes
00:07:30and I stuck by that and I manned up
00:07:32and said when I was wrong.
00:07:34And this time
00:07:36I'm absolutely not in the wrong
00:07:38nor is my family.
00:07:40And yeah
00:07:42now we'll see if she's gonna add up
00:07:44to her sister's actions.
00:07:54As this year's Meet the Family Week
00:07:56approaches the halfway point
00:07:58our couples who have already
00:08:00met with their loved ones
00:08:02are feeling closer than ever.
00:08:04Do you think I passed the test with the family?
00:08:06I definitely think you did.
00:08:08You did really well.
00:08:10I'm genuinely as happy as I've been in a long time.
00:08:12So nice.
00:08:14As it's given their relationships
00:08:16a new sense of confidence.
00:08:18Wow.
00:08:20I only want the best for you
00:08:22and I want the best for me.
00:08:24We had a fantastic day yesterday.
00:08:26We added more things to the shrine as well.
00:08:28I just want you to know that supporting each other
00:08:30means a lot to me.
00:08:32Do you wanna dance?
00:08:34Yeah.
00:08:36I'd rather play chess.
00:08:38No, you're gonna dance for me.
00:08:40You ready?
00:08:42Yeah.
00:08:44See, haven't failed once
00:08:46since the wedding.
00:08:48While Jackie and Ryan continue basking
00:08:50in the afterglow of their meet-the-family
00:08:52success, our remaining
00:08:54couples get ready for their turn.
00:08:56The day today, Marino.
00:08:58Yes.
00:09:00Line's the top one, Marino.
00:09:02You can have the whole thing, Tony.
00:09:04Can't eat that, huh?
00:09:06I can eat it, but I normally don't like eating it
00:09:08when someone's double-dipped.
00:09:10Meeting each other's family and friends
00:09:12is an important relationship milestone
00:09:14for any new couple.
00:09:16I hardly slept because I was excited.
00:09:18I'm really eager to
00:09:20kind of show off, I guess,
00:09:22how happy we're trotting along.
00:09:24How good we look together
00:09:26and, you know.
00:09:28Not only is this an opportunity
00:09:30to connect, seek advice,
00:09:32and support, it's also an opportunity
00:09:34to turn their minds to life
00:09:36outside of the experiment
00:09:38and consider whether they have a viable
00:09:40long-term future together.
00:09:42Family and friends, are you excited?
00:09:44Yeah, 100%.
00:09:47I'm really eager to see if our lives
00:09:49are going to be compatible beyond this experiment.
00:09:51Yeah, that's one of the next big steps.
00:09:57Next to meet their loved ones
00:09:59are Karina and Paul.
00:10:06Who are meeting Paul's good friend Johnny
00:10:08and sister Anna
00:10:10who was unable to attend the wedding.
00:10:13I really wanted to have my sister at my wedding
00:10:15but sadly she couldn't make it.
00:10:17So having her here today
00:10:19and the fact that she was able to meet Karina
00:10:21for the first time, honestly,
00:10:23it was just so special.
00:10:25As well as Karina's sister Marie
00:10:27and Aunty Maria.
00:10:29Is he as good-looking as you two?
00:10:33Even better.
00:10:39As soon as I saw him,
00:10:41oh, I thought he was quite hot, actually.
00:10:43I shouldn't be saying that, I'm the Aunty.
00:10:45Can we get some napkins, please?
00:10:47You've just smacked up our makeup.
00:10:49I'm hoping to find out quite a bit today.
00:10:51I want to see if they're happy.
00:10:53If Paul is in it for the
00:10:55long haul, maybe ask him
00:10:57a few little
00:10:59private questions
00:11:01and personal questions.
00:11:03You know, he's French.
00:11:05I want to know how good he is.
00:11:09It's just so nice to all be together.
00:11:11We have so many questions
00:11:13for you guys.
00:11:15Let's get the list out.
00:11:17So how are you
00:11:19honestly finding it all?
00:11:21We've had each other's back from the beginning
00:11:23and it's been amazing.
00:11:25We have. We've been a team.
00:11:27We've been a very good team.
00:11:29Because it's not easy.
00:11:31It's definitely not easy.
00:11:33This morning I was like, we're a team.
00:11:35I love that.
00:11:37You really bonded.
00:11:39The foundation of a good relationship
00:11:41and marriage is friendship.
00:11:43And then everything else
00:11:45will follow.
00:11:47You've got to have each other's back
00:11:49and open, honest, trust.
00:11:51We can see the way Karina
00:11:53looks at you.
00:11:55You look happy.
00:11:57You really do.
00:11:59First impression, Karina,
00:12:01she seems lovely and genuine
00:12:03and so far I've heard all good things
00:12:05from Paul and he's been
00:12:08really happy and from what I can see
00:12:10it seems like they're still heading in the right direction
00:12:12which was really nice to see.
00:12:14Is there any other questions
00:12:16that anyone really wanted to know?
00:12:22We might need some more drinks
00:12:24before this simmers down.
00:12:26Paul's looking down at the table there.
00:12:28So
00:12:30obviously you sleep together.
00:12:32You sleep together?
00:12:40Keep it PG.
00:12:42Nieces and nephews and kids are watching this.
00:12:44I don't know if I want to hear this.
00:12:51Just answer the question.
00:12:53Yes, we've been intimate.
00:12:55The sex life is good?
00:12:57Oh my god.
00:12:59I was like, is he real?
00:13:01Oh my god.
00:13:03The French, you know, the French are
00:13:05pretty good.
00:13:07We can't complain about that.
00:13:09It's been really nice.
00:13:11It's perfect.
00:13:13Now he's blushing.
00:13:15I'm not going to lie,
00:13:17she did make me blush a little bit.
00:13:19But
00:13:21I reckon I've put her worries to rest.
00:13:23I think she knows that Karina and I are having a good sex life.
00:13:25I think she's
00:13:27at peace now.
00:13:29I like how you like to find out all the details.
00:13:31There's no secrets there.
00:13:33Zimria wants the guts.
00:13:35She wants the juice.
00:13:39You can tell the chemistry is definitely there.
00:13:41Which was beautiful to see.
00:13:43And I do see a future.
00:13:45Yes.
00:13:47Cheers.
00:13:49The new beginnings of family.
00:13:51The sex life.
00:13:55Oh jeez, now it's just too much.
00:14:00Coming up.
00:14:02I didn't feel like I learnt anything about you.
00:14:04Crash Course Week
00:14:06unexpectedly implodes
00:14:08one couple.
00:14:10Maybe that's to do with your ability to
00:14:12listen.
00:14:14Crash Course Week
00:14:16The Crash Course
00:14:18Episode 1
00:14:28Our three newest couples
00:14:30have been spending this week
00:14:32participating in the Crash Course.
00:14:34Which has been designed to
00:14:36fast track their relationships
00:14:38to catch up with the original couples.
00:14:40I've had so much of this kick out of it. You have to have some. I can't be just eating
00:14:45it all on my own.
00:14:48However, Veronica is still struggling with some concerns about her husband, Elliot, after
00:14:54speaking with his ex-wife, Lauren.
00:14:57One of my friends was in a relationship with a narcissist for like 10 years. And what I
00:15:01have learned from her is that like they don't actually have real feelings. So I do feel
00:15:06like Elliot is a narcissist.
00:15:09Yeah, okay.
00:15:12And the first crash course task didn't give the insight into Elliot that Veronica was
00:15:17hoping for.
00:15:18I don't find her really that physically attractive.
00:15:21Not attractive, not attractive, not attractive.
00:15:24Physically speaking, not really attracted to her.
00:15:26Of course.
00:15:28I don't really feel like I learned anything.
00:15:31Who's that?
00:15:33My destiny awaits.
00:15:38So the next task, the confessions letter, could be exactly what Veronica is needing
00:15:44to get a deeper understanding of Elliot.
00:15:47Opening up to others and revealing our true selves is never easy. By opening yourself
00:15:53up to your significant other, you become more vulnerable and you create an opportunity for
00:15:57a greater connection. For this task, you must write a letter to your partner revealing your
00:16:03most significant relationship or life experience. So be brave and let your partner in.
00:16:08Mmm, a letter.
00:16:13Panic sets in across the room.
00:16:15I like the sound of that.
00:16:19Great. Finally.
00:16:26I feel like Veronica wants more vulnerability. And I've never been someone that's like
00:16:32overly emotional or vulnerable, but I definitely have willingness to be open a hundred percent.
00:16:43So I want to do my best to, you know, open up and be vulnerable.
00:16:55It's a, yeah, it's a story I've never shared with anybody else. It would have had to be
00:16:59like one of my most deep and harrowing memories that I have and something that like had affected
00:17:05me so much in my childhood. And it's deeply personal.
00:17:11I wrote it like a proper letter.
00:17:13Aww.
00:17:14Dear Veronica, I do want to preface this story by saying this is something I've never shared
00:17:20with anyone before.
00:17:23The story goes back to when I was nine years old. I'm sitting in a specialist office in
00:17:28a hospital. My mum beside me and my younger sister, Bridie, had been experiencing some
00:17:34unusual symptoms and was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and she fell into a coma.
00:17:46The news hit us like a ton of bricks. My mum burst into tears, which inevitably led to
00:17:51me joining her in a choir of uncontrollable sobbing. It felt like it was the end of the
00:18:00world. There was no hope.
00:18:05This continued for what seemed like forever until suddenly the door burst open and it
00:18:10was my dad. I'll never forget his reaction to the situation. He immediately comforted
00:18:16her. He engaged with the doctor about the treatment. And in that moment, my dad's strength
00:18:23and stoicism set us on a path forward.
00:18:28The impact this memory has on me is I never want to be overwhelmed by emotion. Like anyone,
00:18:35I feel things. I just do my best to identify and understand it rather than be controlled
00:18:41by it. I feel like this is relevant to you and to our relationship in this experiment
00:18:50and why I may appear guarded sometimes. Yours sincerely, Elliot.
00:19:11Why are your hands on your head?
00:19:14Were you there?
00:19:16This was the perfect opportunity for him to just tell me something, anything. And he chose
00:19:24nothing.
00:19:26Like, yeah.
00:19:30I know that his mum cried, that his sister has diabetes and that his dad is a stoic,
00:19:37emotionless man. I just don't think that he has the capacity to even look at himself
00:19:44or think about his life in a way that's more than just a surface level. Like, he just cannot
00:19:49find it within him to give me anything more. Like, this is the second task now that we've
00:19:55been given that he has been completely unwilling to participate in. And I'm just like, I don't
00:20:01know what to do.
00:20:07Yeah. Anyway.
00:20:22Having been a few hours since sharing his confessions letter, Elliot has noticed a shift
00:20:28in attitude from wife Veronica.
00:20:33What are you going to have for dinner?
00:20:34I don't know.
00:20:35Do you want me to cook a steak?
00:20:36No, I'm OK. Thank you.
00:20:38OK.
00:20:42After the confessions letter, I noticed a tenseness in the air from Veronica.
00:20:50I feel like I was opening up to her, pouring my heart out, but it wasn't really any kind
00:20:57of engagement. I want to speak to her and see what's going on with her.
00:21:07How are you feeling?
00:21:09Yeah, I'm OK. I'm all right.
00:21:13You seem kind of distracted.
00:21:15Yeah, I just guess I just thought that it was going to be different.
00:21:22OK. How so?
00:21:25Like, I thought it might be about you.
00:21:30What we discussed or what you might share might be about you.
00:21:34Oh, my memory.
00:21:38I don't know.
00:21:39So you're saying that that memory wasn't about me?
00:21:43Yeah.
00:21:45Really?
00:21:46Yeah.
00:21:51The story is about something traumatic that happened to someone else.
00:21:56And I don't know how you felt.
00:21:58I don't know how it's impacted you.
00:22:00I don't know.
00:22:02You didn't talk about your own feelings about the event.
00:22:09I said it super clearly.
00:22:11Like, I said exactly how I felt.
00:22:14How did you feel?
00:22:15Like, I said it in there.
00:22:17Like, I felt like it was the end of the world.
00:22:21All you've said is the world was ending.
00:22:25Like, it felt to me like the world was ending.
00:22:27Is there an emotion attached to that?
00:22:31That's not an emotion.
00:22:32It's an event.
00:22:33I said to you when you asked me...
00:22:36How does it make you feel?
00:22:37Hopeless.
00:22:38That was the emotion.
00:22:40Is that all?
00:22:41I don't feel any deeper understanding of Elliot.
00:22:46I'm just being honest.
00:22:48Yeah.
00:22:49That's how I'm responding to what you told me.
00:22:55Kevin...
00:22:57That's a tough question.
00:23:03You told me...
00:23:04Do I know myself?
00:23:05I just want to say that not all people can carry on.
00:23:15I'm not putting shit on you.
00:23:18You're just saying that you messed up,
00:23:20and I'll say the worst words.
00:23:22How do you feel?
00:23:23Hopeless.
00:23:24That was the emotion.
00:23:25Is that all?
00:23:27I don't feel any deeper understanding of Elliot.
00:23:33I'm just being honest.
00:23:34Yeah.
00:23:35That's how I'm responding to what you told me.
00:23:41I've just shared something that's, like, deeply personal
00:23:44to me that had a huge impact on my life.
00:23:47And you're taking that and saying,
00:23:49that's not enough for me.
00:23:51So, like, for me to be...
00:23:52I'm just telling you how I feel.
00:23:56Me being vulnerable, and you're saying,
00:23:58that's not enough for me.
00:23:59That's not enough for me.
00:24:01I'm allowed to feel how I feel about it,
00:24:04and I'm expressing that to you.
00:24:06I'm not interested in having an argument about it.
00:24:09I'm just telling you that I don't have any further insight
00:24:12into Elliot, and I'm disappointed by that.
00:24:15The task was a way for us to be vulnerable to each other.
00:24:19Now, for me to be vulnerable to you,
00:24:21and then you to turn around and say,
00:24:23that's not enough for me.
00:24:26Like, how do you think that looks?
00:24:27I didn't say that's not enough for me.
00:24:30I said that I didn't feel like I learned anything about you.
00:24:33You said, if that's all you have to give...
00:24:36Elliot, can't you just look at what I'm trying to say to you,
00:24:39please?
00:24:40I'm trying to say that I feel like I don't...
00:24:43I didn't learn anything about you.
00:24:45Don't you want me to understand you?
00:24:46Yes, I do.
00:24:47OK, but then why are you helping me with that?
00:24:50You coming in here, saying I'm disappointed...
00:24:52Oh, here we go again, again.
00:24:54You're just like a broken record,
00:24:56saying the same thing over and over again.
00:24:58Yes, but...
00:24:59I'm not interested in having
00:25:00a boring, repetitious argument with you.
00:25:02We can have a conversation
00:25:03if you're willing to give me something new,
00:25:05but otherwise, I'm not interested
00:25:06in fighting with you over this.
00:25:09You are not listening to what I'm saying,
00:25:11and so therefore this conversation's over.
00:25:13I'm done, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done.
00:25:18She was trying to make it about,
00:25:21like, oh, that wasn't about you,
00:25:22it was about somebody else.
00:25:25For me, it was so much worse that it was my sister.
00:25:30If it was me, I probably...
00:25:33It probably wouldn't have affected me as much.
00:25:35It was the fact that, like, that was my younger sister,
00:25:38my baby sister.
00:25:40For her to just, like, be like,
00:25:42oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:25:44I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:25:47For her to just, like, be like,
00:25:48oh, that's not enough, like, I wanted more.
00:25:51It felt kind of surreal.
00:25:57Yvonne?
00:26:01What's it look like?
00:26:03I'm asking.
00:26:07Maybe, maybe not.
00:26:10I have to find out, really.
00:26:11Excuse me.
00:26:16I'm sorry.
00:26:26Do you wanna tell me what's going on?
00:26:28Well, you were here just a minute ago.
00:26:29Why do I need to explain everything to you?
00:26:31You're not a child.
00:26:33Well, you...
00:26:34Like, you were literally just here.
00:26:35You cryptically said...
00:26:36Like, what is confusing for you?
00:26:38What are you confused about?
00:26:39I'll tell you if you let me get a word in.
00:26:42Why do you think that I'm upset?
00:26:45I don't wanna play guessing games.
00:26:46Tell me.
00:26:47I'm asking you a question, Elliot.
00:26:49Why do you think that I'm upset?
00:26:52I would love to know.
00:26:53Please inform me.
00:26:56You cannot understand the whole point
00:27:00of what I said to you tonight.
00:27:02I don't feel like I learned anything about you.
00:27:07I would love to know why my most painful memory
00:27:13isn't enough for you to think
00:27:15that I would pour my heart out.
00:27:17You poured your heart out, did you?
00:27:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:27:20Okay.
00:27:21And you...
00:27:21You poured your heart out.
00:27:22Yeah.
00:27:25Me pouring my heart out is me pouring my heart out.
00:27:28I didn't feel like I learned anything about you.
00:27:31Well, maybe that's to do with your ability to listen
00:27:35and to try to take on what I'm saying.
00:27:38Part of this experiment, right,
00:27:41is us being able to empathize with the other person
00:27:44and say, right, that in their world,
00:27:47that is them really, you know, being vulnerable.
00:27:53And it's like, oh, this isn't enough.
00:27:55That's not good enough.
00:27:56Is that how I responded to you?
00:27:58Yes.
00:27:59When we sat on the couch, that's how I responded to you.
00:28:02Well, you didn't respond at all.
00:28:03I didn't, though.
00:28:04Like, it's shocking.
00:28:08Listen.
00:28:09No.
00:28:09It's not up to you anymore.
00:28:18It's hard to believe that that just happened.
00:28:22Thank you very much.
00:28:23Thank you very much.
00:28:25I just couldn't imagine diminishing
00:28:28what is important to someone in the way she just did.
00:28:32Coming up.
00:28:34You all good?
00:28:35Great.
00:28:36Tony has a surprising revelation.
00:28:40What's pretty new information about you?
00:28:44It's taken me a while to think about it all.
00:28:47Like, to register in my head what I really, really want.
00:28:50All this is coming together for me.
00:28:54I'm going to be a doctor.
00:28:56I'm going to be a doctor.
00:28:57I'm going to be a doctor.
00:28:58I'm going to be a doctor.
00:28:59I'm going to be a doctor.
00:29:01ALL ABOUT ME
00:29:06As Meet the Family Week continues,
00:29:09next to meet with their loved ones are Jamie and Dave.
00:29:13It's awesome to see us.
00:29:14It's nice to see you too, mate.
00:29:16Joining them today
00:29:17are Dave's mum Brenda and his best mate Steve
00:29:20and Jamie's mum Vicky, dad Michael,
00:29:24sister Georgia and aunt Eleni.
00:29:28So, overall you guys are happy?
00:29:30Yeah, no, we are, we are.
00:29:31Because we've been so honest and really dug deep
00:29:34and really had the hard conversations,
00:29:37it sort of make these experiments so much easier.
00:29:41It was us putting in all the work
00:29:43and getting to know each other
00:29:44and finding out the core values.
00:29:46And I think that's what builds everything.
00:29:49One of my main things was I wanted someone
00:29:52to make me feel heard and seen.
00:29:54And Jamie does that and it makes my soul smile.
00:29:58Nick's got a little bit emotional, I think.
00:30:01I must admit, it's come from left field.
00:30:05I wasn't expecting this.
00:30:07Actually, it's short of words, I think, the words.
00:30:09I didn't anticipate hearing what I heard today.
00:30:14Jamie being my daughter, as long as she's happy,
00:30:17you can want me over.
00:30:18No, no, no, it's yours.
00:30:20With Jamie and Dave feeling confident
00:30:22in their family's approval,
00:30:25Morena and Tony are hoping that their friends
00:30:27and family meet will bring back the positivity
00:30:30they once shared in their relationship.
00:30:33It's nice.
00:30:35So excited to be seeing them.
00:30:37Should be a good catch-up.
00:30:41You haven't seen your friends for a while, so we're nice.
00:30:43No, I haven't.
00:30:46It's been a long time.
00:30:48Last time Morena and Tony saw their friends
00:30:51was at the end of their honeymoon.
00:30:53The last time Tony saw their friends was at their wedding,
00:30:56where the couple immediately hit it off.
00:31:01Wow.
00:31:02He's gorgeous.
00:31:05That's my wife, man.
00:31:08That's the woman that I'm just about to marry.
00:31:10Can we say our vows now,
00:31:12because I'm excited to marry this lady.
00:31:16Since then, the couple have had many ups and downs
00:31:19throughout the experiment.
00:31:20Just be a gentleman.
00:31:22Stop poking me. Stop fist-pumping me.
00:31:25All right, I'll stop. I will stop.
00:31:27I will stop. I will stop. I will stop.
00:31:29But after an apology from Tony...
00:31:31Sorry.
00:31:33..and some encouraging words from the experts...
00:31:36This is not friends at first sight.
00:31:38So there needs to be progress.
00:31:42..the couple are hoping their friends can offer
00:31:44a fresh perspective on their relationship.
00:31:48Today, Morena and Tony will be meeting
00:31:51Tony's friends, Danny and Georgia...
00:31:53Hi, Tony.
00:31:54..and Morena's friends, Mick and Jo...
00:31:57Ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:31:59..who were all at the wedding to witness what looked like
00:32:02a very promising beginning for the couple.
00:32:05Tony and Morena's wedding day?
00:32:08Great day.
00:32:09Tony's lots of fun, and he's a great character.
00:32:12And I think he's got a zest for life,
00:32:14so I think it'll be really interesting to make sure
00:32:16that that's translated to Morena
00:32:18and make sure that she's enjoying that as much as we do.
00:32:21Here is to the most unusual experiment
00:32:25I have ever partaked in with a random stranger.
00:32:30Thank you, honestly, all of you.
00:32:33Thank you for being here.
00:32:34I wouldn't have it any other way.
00:32:37Cheers.
00:32:38How are you going?
00:32:39Everything's good.
00:32:42How are you doing, Morena?
00:32:43Good?
00:32:46No.
00:32:47It's really tough.
00:32:51Well, if you put yourself in my shoes, you kind of go,
00:32:55oh, you mean to bond.
00:32:57So, yeah, there's none of that.
00:33:00He's got a rug, and he wants to shove everything under the rug.
00:33:03I do not want to talk.
00:33:04I do not want to talk about issues that really bother me.
00:33:09And I do.
00:33:11I'm not here to attack him.
00:33:13I'm so honest with my feelings.
00:33:15And, Tony, you don't realise how much you hurt me.
00:33:25I just don't get it.
00:33:26I do get it.
00:33:30Morena, she's, um...
00:33:32She's not herself.
00:33:33She's not herself.
00:33:34She's not herself.
00:33:35It's heartbreaking to us.
00:33:37It's heartbreaking because I was there at the ceremony.
00:33:41Everything was terrific.
00:33:43But, yeah, something's changed.
00:33:45We need to just ask a question, please.
00:33:49Go ahead.
00:33:50What changed?
00:33:51Like, to me, it seems like from, I like what I see,
00:33:56this is a beautiful moment, to a total switch.
00:34:02Has there been a switch?
00:34:08Yes.
00:34:09I'll tell you the switch.
00:34:11You've seen Morena every day.
00:34:13Can you explain to me Morena's personality?
00:34:15How is she?
00:34:16Is she a happy person?
00:34:17I want to know what she's like towards you.
00:34:20She's a frickin' knockout.
00:34:22She walks in a room, stop.
00:34:25People stop.
00:34:26And they just look at her.
00:34:27I'm looking for that Morena.
00:34:28You're telling me she's this beautiful, vibrant person.
00:34:30But if you haven't, Tony, but if you haven't connected,
00:34:35that hurts her.
00:34:36Correct.
00:34:37So it's a vicious cycle.
00:34:38You have no idea the woman that she really is.
00:34:41I'm sorry, mate.
00:34:43He goes away every weekend to Wollongong,
00:34:46and I walk the streets of Sydney on my own.
00:34:49So that's really hard.
00:34:51I cried, and I cried, and I cried in the streets of Sydney.
00:34:55That's not OK, to do that to a person who is grounded,
00:35:00driven.
00:35:01I had worked seven years to fix myself.
00:35:03I didn't come on this experiment to go backwards.
00:35:07Why wouldn't you take her with you?
00:35:10Because I like to have my time.
00:35:12I like Tony time on weekends or when I can get a chance.
00:35:15But that's just so cruel.
00:35:18Everybody has their natural ways to decompress.
00:35:20Like, you recharge by spending time with people.
00:35:22There are other people in the world
00:35:23that just need to recharge themselves.
00:35:26You want your own time.
00:35:27You can't be in a relationship.
00:35:30I feel, can I be honest, guys?
00:35:32I feel like is it ever going to get to a point
00:35:34where you can sort through and actually live in the moment?
00:35:37Live right now.
00:35:38This is what I'm looking for, Georgia.
00:35:44Tony's a very charismatic, happy-go-lucky type of guy.
00:35:48And Morena's such a big character and a beautiful character.
00:35:51But at the same time, from my perspective,
00:35:54she's just stuck focusing on negative situations
00:35:56rather than actually moving forward.
00:35:58I dislike the fact that you're not honest with me.
00:36:02She just needs to let go and enjoy the moment
00:36:04because the more negatives,
00:36:06the more Tony's going to retreat into his corner.
00:36:08And that's just Tony's character.
00:36:10What's a woman meant to feel?
00:36:12Do... I just want you to understand that.
00:36:14So it's really sad because I feel like
00:36:16they're not actually giving themselves a go
00:36:18to develop a solid foundation and build from there.
00:36:20Yeah.
00:36:21Tony, I know you as a person.
00:36:23You're a very charismatic, energy-filled,
00:36:29young, loving person.
00:36:31And I think what Tony's looking for is fun.
00:36:33You don't know him in a relationship scenario.
00:36:38I expect him more than just fun.
00:36:40Because up until now, he's just been giving me headlocks.
00:36:42Maybe that's his way of getting close to you
00:36:44and building a connection with you.
00:36:46It's still not OK.
00:36:48Listen, don't ever, ever, even if you think it's funny.
00:36:52That's not funny.
00:36:53That's not funny.
00:36:54Jasmine and Mick both said,
00:36:56no headlocks, cos it's not actually funny.
00:36:59Cos it's not actually funny.
00:37:01So I'm actually feeling better about that.
00:37:04It's just my way of affection.
00:37:05It's just... I've apologised to her.
00:37:08Although I've allowed him to make me feel this way,
00:37:12just through actions, words, acts.
00:37:15You know, not being here.
00:37:17You know, all little drips and drabs.
00:37:19It was good to hear.
00:37:20I'm a fun person.
00:37:21Before I came into this experiment,
00:37:22I was doing cartwheels.
00:37:25And now I'm dragging my feet.
00:37:27But if he respects me for the woman that I am,
00:37:30maybe I can be myself and I can, you know,
00:37:33match him with some fun.
00:37:35For whatever reason, she's been really expressive.
00:37:38Where's that personality here?
00:37:39That's what I'm looking for.
00:37:40It was taken from me, Tony.
00:37:42From who?
00:37:43You.
00:37:44I took your personality.
00:37:45I told you on the couch the other night.
00:37:46Why, how did I take it from you?
00:37:47Nobody has made me feel in such a short time the way you have.
00:37:50Yeah, what did you do, Tony?
00:37:52OK, OK.
00:37:53We need to know.
00:37:54Because I block you, I don't give you the time.
00:37:57Forget those things.
00:37:58I don't compliment you.
00:37:59No.
00:38:00I don't touch you.
00:38:01Sorry.
00:38:02What's bothering you that I took your personality away?
00:38:03I want to know.
00:38:04Yeah.
00:38:05Tony.
00:38:06Since when was this?
00:38:07Since when did this start?
00:38:08We need to know.
00:38:09Since he made me feel, you were gutted when you found out I was 57.
00:38:27Tony, you were gutted when you found out I was 57.
00:38:33You, you were this on the wedding.
00:38:36You were this.
00:38:37You were this.
00:38:38You were this.
00:38:39Until I said, I'm not 40.
00:38:42You just went.
00:38:43And I just went.
00:38:44You didn't.
00:38:45No, I did not.
00:38:46You didn't.
00:38:47I did not.
00:38:48Age is really nothing.
00:38:51What it all comes down to for me is just her personality.
00:38:55It doesn't matter that you've disappointed me or that you've made me sad.
00:39:00Okay?
00:39:01The fact that he's still here, he gets a big, a big tick.
00:39:06Huge.
00:39:07Because he could have gone.
00:39:08But, Tony, you are emotionally unavailable.
00:39:13All I need...
00:39:15I've tried everything just to make her happy.
00:39:18But, once again, she's really, really upset and angry all the time.
00:39:24So, it's actually draining me.
00:39:29We spoke about this with the experts.
00:39:31Marina, can I just say something, please?
00:39:33Sure.
00:39:34No relationship is perfect.
00:39:37You're the personality that you are.
00:39:39Tony might be a little bit more withdrawn.
00:39:42He doesn't want to discuss.
00:39:43Stop talking.
00:39:44I don't want to discuss about these things.
00:39:45I don't believe you.
00:39:46No, hold on.
00:39:47Hear me out.
00:39:48Hear me out.
00:39:49Because you work things out, but only if you want it to work out.
00:39:54Because if you don't want it to work out, and I'm going to look at you now, Tony.
00:39:59If you don't want it to work out, mate, forget it.
00:40:05Marina had so much hope in finding the right one,
00:40:09or at least finding somebody she could build something with.
00:40:13And I really don't think that's what's happening.
00:40:15Yes.
00:40:16There was a massive shift in Tony's attitude towards her.
00:40:20Tony, can we possibly have a word with you, please?
00:40:23So, I think it's best to speak to Tony.
00:40:26Ask questions.
00:40:27We're going to ask the questions.
00:40:29Okay, Tony.
00:40:30This is like the Italian, Melbourne Italian mafia.
00:40:33Yes, Tony.
00:40:34We need to...
00:40:35Do you like Marina?
00:40:39As a person, of course I care about her.
00:40:42Okay.
00:40:43Do you know what I mean?
00:40:44Okay.
00:40:46But, to me, we're just going to be friends.
00:40:50She's a beautiful lady, but just the personality's not there for me.
00:40:55But, Tony, unfortunately this experiment has turned her,
00:41:00her emotions, into such a manner.
00:41:03Sorry, but we have to say that...
00:41:06She might be different to her friends on the outside,
00:41:08but she's not how she is here.
00:41:10And what's it take for her to be herself?
00:41:12You know, and I'm just over it, man.
00:41:14Really over it.
00:41:15Really over it.
00:41:19But, hold on.
00:41:21Are you just stopping yourself to the point
00:41:23that you're not allowing yourself
00:41:25to possibly bring out more emotion?
00:41:28That possibly there could be something there?
00:41:32Romantically, I'm not that way inclined.
00:41:37You don't think you'll ever?
00:41:40You don't think...
00:41:41It's not going to blossom into anything, put it that way.
00:41:44Okay. Is that because of her age?
00:41:46Is that your issue?
00:41:48You're 53, she's 57, you are young.
00:41:52Just go out.
00:41:53That's it.
00:41:54Just go out.
00:41:55You know what?
00:41:56Just keep a little bit of spark.
00:41:58That's it.
00:41:59That is it.
00:42:00And you're not doing it, mate.
00:42:01And really...
00:42:02You know what the thing is?
00:42:03When I came in, I wanted someone
00:42:05that was a bit younger than me
00:42:06that was still going to have kids
00:42:07and maybe had a kid that was...
00:42:08Oh, see, this changes things.
00:42:10I always wanted to have a child.
00:42:13So you want kids?
00:42:17Um...
00:42:19It would be nice.
00:42:22So that's what I...
00:42:23That's what I...
00:42:24Mark, that's pretty new information about you.
00:42:31I want you to tell Marina you want to have kids
00:42:34because she will appreciate you saying that.
00:42:37I've never probably spoken to Marina about that
00:42:40because it's taken me a while to think about it all.
00:42:43Like, to register in my head what I really, really want.
00:42:46It's just a Tony thing.
00:42:50This is where the honesty comes in.
00:42:52Yeah.
00:42:53You've got to say to her.
00:42:54Yeah.
00:42:55You've got to tell her.
00:42:56Instead of her thinking that she's old and decrepit.
00:42:59That's how you've made her feel.
00:43:00Yeah.
00:43:01But if you're honest, she'll go,
00:43:02well, fair enough, he wants kids.
00:43:04I can't do that.
00:43:06Now that you've explained that to me...
00:43:08Yeah, you've actually said reasoning.
00:43:10I think, well, that's a valid point.
00:43:12We came here to just...
00:43:14to discover what has happened.
00:43:16I think we've achieved that.
00:43:18I think we have.
00:43:19Yeah.
00:43:20Because his hope is to have children
00:43:22and that's the reason that he was hesitant
00:43:25because he knows that that's not possible with Marina.
00:43:29Glad you said that because that's what I thought.
00:43:32I thought, I bet you, you want to have kids.
00:43:34And that's fair.
00:43:35And you know what?
00:43:36It's not your fault.
00:43:37It's not her fault.
00:43:38It is what it is.
00:43:39I think he's realised it himself
00:43:41that that's what the thing that put him off.
00:43:44That was the core of it.
00:43:46So if that's the case,
00:43:48they need to, yeah, they need to move on.
00:43:51Someone was hungry here.
00:43:52They ate everything.
00:43:53Oh, my God.
00:43:54You gave us nothing.
00:43:55Nothing.
00:43:56Jesus.
00:43:57We needed to decompress.
00:43:59Great.
00:44:00We just hope the best of the best
00:44:02as to how it all will unfold.
00:44:05After talking to Mick and Josephine,
00:44:07they helped me realise that I would love to have a child.
00:44:11All this is coming together for me.
00:44:13So the plan is to explain to Marina
00:44:16on how I'm feeling and what I want.
00:44:18Maybe that'll give her a reason of, you know,
00:44:22why I want to have a child.
00:44:25That'll give her a reason of, you know,
00:44:28why I think it's probably coming to an end.
00:44:32And I hope she won't feel rejected.
00:44:34She has kids.
00:44:36She'll understand it.
00:44:37And she will let go.
00:44:40You've got to open your mouth
00:44:42and say what we talked about.
00:44:44Tell her exactly how you feel.
00:44:55Back at their apartment,
00:44:57Tony is preparing to share his big realisation
00:45:01from his conversation with Marina's friends today.
00:45:05I am a little bit nervous to talk to Marina
00:45:08about how I feel for me having a child.
00:45:11But I spoke to her friends about it
00:45:13and they said she'll probably respect you more
00:45:15for telling her that,
00:45:16and that way she won't feel rejected
00:45:18because I have reasons for not being, you know,
00:45:22I have reasons for not being, you know,
00:45:24an older woman.
00:45:25So I want to be completely honest with Marina
00:45:28because I think it's coming to that stage
00:45:31where, you know,
00:45:33we buy a fist bump each other
00:45:35and tap out.
00:45:39Take my shoes off.
00:45:41Yeah.
00:45:42I think I've got the same coloured socks.
00:45:44Yeah.
00:45:46Anyway, how did you find everything?
00:45:48Was it good?
00:45:49Yeah.
00:45:51Did you take some of their advice on board?
00:45:53Certainly I did.
00:45:55You did?
00:45:56What did the girls say to you?
00:45:58Oh, when they pulled me up?
00:46:00Yeah.
00:46:02We just spoke.
00:46:04They asked me if I...
00:46:08how I feel towards you.
00:46:10You know, are we going to get anywhere
00:46:12or are we just going to be friends?
00:46:14Tell me what's the real problem.
00:46:16What's it all?
00:46:17It's a connection.
00:46:18It's a lot of stuff like that.
00:46:21She just said,
00:46:23you know, be honest, what's the real reason?
00:46:25I said, you know what?
00:46:26I want to think about it.
00:46:32Because I've never had a kid before.
00:46:36I've always wanted to...
00:46:38You've had that.
00:46:39You have two beautiful kids.
00:46:41I've never had that
00:46:43and I've always wanted to have that.
00:46:46So that makes it hard for me to really
00:46:49fall for somebody that's older
00:46:51and, you know,
00:46:53it's just how I feel.
00:46:55That's how I feel.
00:46:56You've never said that.
00:46:57I've always thought about it.
00:47:00Tony and I have been on this experiment
00:47:03for weeks and weeks and weeks
00:47:05and he's never uttered a word
00:47:10that he wants to have a baby.
00:47:12Where did it come from?
00:47:15He's done everything to try and push me away
00:47:18and now, well, I've just realised
00:47:20I want to have a baby.
00:47:22Serious!
00:47:23You're 53!
00:47:26Very strange, it doesn't add up.
00:47:28That would have been very easy to say from the start.
00:47:32But then maybe I just didn't think too much into it
00:47:34and now I kind of wish he'd said
00:47:37when we spoke about it
00:47:38it kind of made sense to me, so...
00:47:43I really believe that Tony doesn't know what he wants
00:47:46but all I know
00:47:48is you can't help the way you feel
00:47:50when someone tells you something
00:47:52and his delivery to me
00:47:54I'm not buying it.
00:47:58It's the only missing piece of the puzzle in my life.
00:48:03It ain't going to happen with a 57 year old.
00:48:06It is totally fine that he's not into me.
00:48:10Say it!
00:48:11Because, if anything
00:48:13he's disrespected me again.
00:48:16Making up this
00:48:18this sweet little story
00:48:21that I want to reproduce
00:48:23and clearly, I can't reproduce.
00:48:27My stamp, you know
00:48:29expired.
00:48:34That's how I feel.
00:48:37Tony has blindsided me
00:48:41he's lied to me
00:48:42and I don't deserve that.
00:48:45Hell no.
00:48:46So, I don't know where to from here
00:48:48because now I have no respect for him.
00:48:51Not at all.
00:49:00But I tell you what, it was good to see him.
00:49:05Yes it was.
00:49:09While Morena tries to understand Tony's latest revelation
00:49:14down the hall, Veronica is returning to her apartment
00:49:18to speak with her husband Elliot
00:49:20after their earlier confrontation.
00:49:23Hello.
00:49:27Elliot and I have been apart
00:49:29and so, I've had some time to think about the argument.
00:49:33I probably understand now that he's very sensitive
00:49:36and so, I'm just curious to hear
00:49:39what his side of it is.
00:49:44How are you?
00:49:45Yeah, I'm okay. How are you?
00:49:46Yeah, good.
00:49:47Good?
00:49:48I'm a bit, like, confused what's going on.
00:49:52You know?
00:49:53Like, I feel like I don't know where I stand
00:49:55a little bit with you.
00:49:58But I want to hear from you as well.
00:50:00Like, what are your thoughts?
00:50:01Like, where are you at?
00:50:02I just want to hear, I just want to hear
00:50:04your side first
00:50:05and then I'll say my piece
00:50:07because
00:50:09I feel like you were quite upset
00:50:11by what I said previously
00:50:13and that obviously didn't go great
00:50:16so I just want to give you the floor.
00:50:18So, do you want to talk about it?
00:50:20Yeah, yeah.
00:50:21Great.
00:50:22Yeah, so I felt like I really opened up to you.
00:50:26I talked about something
00:50:27that was a really traumatic memory of mine
00:50:29and it felt like you were trying to communicate to me
00:50:31that I wasn't opening up to you.
00:50:34The argument that we ended up having
00:50:36that you were obviously not
00:50:40satisfied with
00:50:41the outcome of that exercise
00:50:43is what I got from what you were saying.
00:50:47So I want to hear it from your side.
00:50:49Like, explain, you know
00:50:54what happened.
00:50:56Thank you for the detailed
00:50:59description of how I should communicate with you.
00:51:01I appreciate that.
00:51:02I'm done.
00:51:06I was trying to tell you how I was feeling
00:51:08and you were upset.
00:51:12I should have just left it.
00:51:14And I'll just, just let me finish.
00:51:19I'm having like a visceral reaction
00:51:22to being met with nothing.
00:51:24Yeah.
00:51:30So what was communicated to me exactly that night?
00:51:33Well, what I, I...
00:51:35Just tell me, just tell me really simply
00:51:37so we're not over-complicating it
00:51:39or going around in circles.
00:51:42Yeah, I'm trying to.
00:51:45Whether, you know, I articulate it
00:51:47as well as you
00:51:48or whether I go into as much detail as you
00:51:51the fact that I'm able to
00:51:54open up to you about that particular memory
00:51:56for me is, is like being vulnerable to you.
00:52:02Does that sound...
00:52:03Let's go back.
00:52:04Let's go right back.
00:52:05Yep.
00:52:07When we did the line-up, the wedding line-up...
00:52:09I'm not talking about that.
00:52:10I'm talking about the line-up.
00:52:11I am.
00:52:12I'm allowed to talk about it.
00:52:13Okay.
00:52:14Okay, thank you.
00:52:15Sorry, it's just my turn to talk now.
00:52:16So when we do, when we did the wedding line-up
00:52:20I didn't further understand you
00:52:23and I guess that's my goal.
00:52:27And then we got the confession letter.
00:52:30Again, met with nothing.
00:52:33I don't have a single thing that I can say
00:52:36that was...
00:52:37I'm so glad he shared that with me
00:52:39because it just gave me this tiny little nugget
00:52:41of something.
00:52:42Like, I didn't feel
00:52:44like I got anything from that story.
00:52:47Well...
00:52:48And I don't understand based on that.
00:52:51I wanna...
00:52:52And I can't.
00:52:54Because this is important
00:52:55that, you know, what happened, happened.
00:52:57So I'm gonna grab the letter
00:52:59and I'm gonna talk to you about some things
00:53:02and I wanna see what it is about it
00:53:04that you're saying, you know,
00:53:06doesn't tell you anything about me.
00:53:10So, the impact this memory has on me
00:53:13and I'm reading it off the page
00:53:15is I never wanna be overwhelmed by emotion.
00:53:20Like anyone.
00:53:21Let me say it.
00:53:23Like anyone, I feel things.
00:53:25I just do my best to identify and understand the emotion
00:53:28rather than be controlled by it.
00:53:31Nothing about that says how I was affected by this.
00:53:36No.
00:53:37No.
00:53:39I didn't learn anything about you.
00:53:41It didn't really have much to do about you.
00:53:44You were there.
00:53:45You may have witnessed it
00:53:46and it may have had some kind of effect on you
00:53:48but you didn't tell me what that effect was.
00:53:50Like how has this affected you?
00:53:52Can I just pull you up on something?
00:53:54You're interrupting me.
00:53:56I don't understand your experience
00:53:58and that's what we're here to understand
00:54:00so we can get to know each other.
00:54:04So there's a few times
00:54:05you keep saying it's someone else's story
00:54:07it didn't happen to you, right?
00:54:09The story is worse for me
00:54:12than it happened to someone
00:54:13that I care about more than myself.
00:54:15My sister means more to me
00:54:18than myself.
00:54:19I didn't know that.
00:54:20You haven't mentioned that in your story.
00:54:22You can't understand that.
00:54:23It's not possible
00:54:24but I can't imagine that
00:54:25unless you tell me.
00:54:26There's no way of me knowing
00:54:28this information about your life
00:54:30unless you tell it to me.
00:54:31Do you think that's unreasonable?
00:54:33Yes.
00:54:34Do you think it's unreasonable
00:54:35that I don't know facts about your life
00:54:37without you sharing it?
00:54:38Yeah.
00:54:39You're presuming
00:54:40that I am with my sister
00:54:41that I don't care about.
00:54:42That's not what I'm presuming.
00:54:44You just said it's somebody else.
00:54:45There's no way I could possibly
00:54:46know these facts about your life
00:54:48unless you tell me.
00:54:53I find it really difficult
00:54:54to communicate with Bea.
00:54:57I was shocked
00:54:58that she can't relate with me
00:55:00about how I would feel more
00:55:02about my sister's health
00:55:04my sister's life
00:55:05than my own.
00:55:10Look, I'm explaining
00:55:11what happened to me
00:55:12in my words
00:55:14and you're saying
00:55:15I didn't get anything
00:55:16from your words.
00:55:18I was shattered
00:55:19like I thought
00:55:20it was like
00:55:21yeah
00:55:22it was one of the worst
00:55:23memories of my life.
00:55:25Right.
00:55:26And for you to just
00:55:27sit there and say
00:55:28I didn't get anything
00:55:29out of that
00:55:30That's not what I said.
00:55:32For you to say
00:55:33I don't know anything
00:55:34more about you
00:55:35from that
00:55:36That's not what I said either.
00:55:38I would appreciate it
00:55:39if you don't put words
00:55:40in my mouth
00:55:41and just use the words
00:55:42that I've actually used
00:55:43instead of making up stories.
00:55:44What did your words say?
00:55:45I didn't feel
00:55:46that I had gained
00:55:47an additional understanding
00:55:48of you, Elliot.
00:55:52That's literally
00:55:54just what I've just paraphrased.
00:55:56Don't paraphrase my words.
00:56:14Elliot.
00:56:16Elliot.
00:56:17Elliot.
00:56:18Elliot.
00:56:19Elliot.
00:56:20Elliot.
00:56:21Elliot.
00:56:22Elliot.
00:56:23Elliot.
00:56:24Elliot.
00:56:25Elliot.
00:56:26Elliot.
00:56:27Elliot.
00:56:28Elliot.
00:56:29Elliot.
00:56:30Elliot.
00:56:31Elliot.
00:56:32Elliot.
00:56:33Elliot.
00:56:34Elliot.
00:56:35Elliot.
00:56:36Elliot.
00:56:37Elliot.
00:56:38Elliot.
00:56:39Elliot.
00:56:40Elliot.
00:56:41Elliot.
00:56:42Elliot.
00:56:43Just what I've just paraphrased.
00:56:45Don't paraphrase my words.
00:56:49I really feel like
00:56:50I'm trying to
00:56:53you know,
00:56:54sort of meet her
00:56:55in the middle.
00:56:56Yeah,
00:56:57just a lot of
00:56:58communication blocks.
00:57:00She has a lot of
00:57:03defensive mechanisms
00:57:04in place.
00:57:05When I try to
00:57:07talk to her
00:57:08openly
00:57:10I'm met with
00:57:11a lot of passive aggressiveness.
00:57:13And a lot of
00:57:15sarcasm.
00:57:16You know,
00:57:17a lot of
00:57:19overreaction.
00:57:22No matter how you look at it
00:57:23this is me
00:57:24opening up.
00:57:25Okay?
00:57:28Right?
00:57:31Do you think someone
00:57:32that's trying to open up to you
00:57:33do you think the best way
00:57:34to encourage them
00:57:36to do it more
00:57:37is to come in
00:57:38and yell at them about it?
00:57:40Okay.
00:57:45What else?
00:57:47What do you think about that?
00:57:49I'm just listening Elliot.
00:57:50I don't want to interrupt you.
00:57:51You've got the floor.
00:57:52Well,
00:57:53so
00:57:54the way I look at it
00:57:55is if someone
00:57:56is trying to
00:57:58you know
00:57:59engage with you
00:58:01don't say
00:58:02you know,
00:58:03I'm not getting any meaningful
00:58:04understanding of you
00:58:05and
00:58:06do it in a way
00:58:07do it in a way
00:58:08where you feel
00:58:09like you're being ripped off.
00:58:11I don't feel like
00:58:12I'm being ripped off.
00:58:13I was just trying
00:58:14to communicate with you.
00:58:17See,
00:58:18the way that you say that
00:58:20it's like
00:58:21I'm talking to someone
00:58:22that hates my guts.
00:58:23You think
00:58:24I am talking to you
00:58:25in a way
00:58:26that demonstrates
00:58:27that I hate your guts?
00:58:28When you
00:58:29ask rhetorical questions
00:58:31you're trying to
00:58:32reframe it
00:58:33as
00:58:34you're the person
00:58:35of authority
00:58:36and I'm
00:58:37and I'm just
00:58:38answering your questions.
00:58:40Just talk to me
00:58:41like a normal person.
00:58:43What is it
00:58:44exactly that I can do?
00:58:45Okay,
00:58:46number one
00:58:47you can be
00:58:48more open
00:58:49with your communication.
00:58:50I need to be open
00:58:51with my communication.
00:58:52See,
00:58:53you just did it again.
00:58:54Do you notice how
00:58:55I say something
00:58:56direct,
00:58:57right?
00:58:58Just trying to understand.
00:58:59That's why I say it back to you
00:59:00so I make sure
00:59:01that I have understanding.
00:59:02Repeating it back to me
00:59:03in a really condescending tone
00:59:04is not trying to understand me.
00:59:05I'm not saying it condescendingly.
00:59:06This is just my voice
00:59:07and I'm
00:59:09The way that you
00:59:10communicate with me
00:59:11comes across as resentful
00:59:12and I'm saying
00:59:13Well, let me clear
00:59:14the air.
00:59:15I think we've hit
00:59:16a road bump.
00:59:17I think
00:59:18I've seen sides of you
00:59:19that I don't like
00:59:20my walls are up.
00:59:21I'm not
00:59:22I don't trust you.
00:59:23So your walls are up?
00:59:24100%
00:59:25Are you kidding me?
00:59:26The way you spoke
00:59:27to Lauren
00:59:28the way you spoke
00:59:29to Lauren that night
00:59:30at the dinner party
00:59:31the way you spoke
00:59:32to other people
00:59:33the way you conducted yourself
00:59:34got my walls up.
00:59:37So
00:59:38so
00:59:39so you just mentioned
00:59:40What else?
00:59:41You'd mentioned
00:59:42how I spoke to Lauren.
00:59:44I
00:59:45so I want to
00:59:46I want to
00:59:47elaborate on that.
00:59:48I apologize.
00:59:49Sorry, I have no idea
00:59:50what we're talking about anymore.
00:59:51We're talking about us.
00:59:52I really don't
00:59:53I really have no idea
00:59:54what we're talking
00:59:55we just cannot stay
00:59:56on one straight line
00:59:57of communication
00:59:58and find a solution.
00:59:59I don't trust you.
01:00:00Yeah.
01:00:02I will not
01:00:03apologize for that
01:00:04and that is the truth.
01:00:05No, that's good
01:00:06What are you telling me then?
01:00:07Shh, speaking please
01:00:08if you can
01:00:11It's not just like
01:00:12one thing
01:00:13it's like
01:00:14multiple things
01:00:15that have all
01:00:16compounded now
01:00:17Yeah
01:00:18and the tasks
01:00:19are just the cherry on top.
01:00:20See, I feel like
01:00:21now we're actually
01:00:22getting somewhere
01:00:23we're actually
01:00:24able to communicate things
01:00:25like
01:00:26why wasn't this
01:00:27something that you
01:00:28brought up in the beginning?
01:00:29Because I was
01:00:30giving you time
01:00:31and space
01:00:32and grace
01:00:33to adjust
01:00:34but you haven't
01:00:36just
01:00:37assumed that I can
01:00:38handle the truth.
01:00:42You can't handle
01:00:43the truth Elliot
01:00:46I literally
01:00:47came in here and told you
01:00:48how your letter
01:00:49made me feel
01:00:50and you blew up
01:00:51like
01:00:52it's actually hilarious
01:00:53you're like
01:00:54I can handle the truth
01:00:55and I'm trying to talk to you
01:00:56and you just
01:00:57lose your mind
01:00:58so I don't want to sit here
01:00:59and argue
01:01:00this is giving me a headache
01:01:01my neck hurts
01:01:02So you're doing the same
01:01:03thing as I started
01:01:04No we're not
01:01:06Do not raise your
01:01:07voice at me
01:01:08Do not raise your
01:01:09voice at me
01:01:10Literally just
01:01:11Do not raise your
01:01:12voice at me
01:01:13I've had enough
01:01:14I'm not screaming
01:01:15in your face
01:01:16I'm setting a boundary
01:01:17Do not yet
01:01:18raise your voice at me
01:01:19I have been so
01:01:20civil with you
01:01:21and now we are
01:01:22going around in circles
01:01:23and you are being
01:01:24unreasonable
01:01:25and I will not
01:01:26tolerate it
01:01:27This is so civil
01:01:28No I've had enough
01:01:29This is so civil
01:01:30I've had enough
01:01:31Good luck Elliot
01:01:36I'm right here
01:01:55I don't have a key
01:01:56to this door
01:02:01You ok?
01:02:02Yeah
01:02:08It's like a bath.
01:02:13Are you okay?
01:02:14Yeah, I'm fine.
01:02:16I just, I just can't, I just can't,
01:02:19like, we're not getting anywhere.
01:02:21It's, it's...
01:02:27That conversation to me
01:02:31finally started to feel productive.
01:02:34Yeah, just kind of felt like she's
01:02:37not wanting to have that conversation.
01:02:39That's what it felt like.
01:02:41As soon as the conversation started moving
01:02:44in a difficult but a necessary direction,
01:02:48she blew up and walked out.
01:02:50It's, it's kind of funny.
01:02:51I thought I was supposed to be the guarded one.
01:02:53Like...
01:02:58How does it, how...
01:03:00I don't know how I'm meant to deal with someone like that.
01:03:03Like, I really don't.
01:03:04Like, I was trying everything, like,
01:03:07I couldn't make myself smaller if I tried.
01:03:10Like, I really...
01:03:13One thing that she said was that she has her walls up
01:03:17and she doesn't trust me.
01:03:18Like, she just came out and said it point blank.
01:03:22And I wanted to say to her, like,
01:03:24thank you for telling me that.
01:03:25Like, that's, I don't take that the wrong way.
01:03:29Like, that, that was hard to say,
01:03:33but important to say so that we can talk about it
01:03:35and work to resolve it.
01:03:38If it's just something that she's keeping to herself
01:03:41in being unsaid and just kind of passively,
01:03:43aggressively being communicated to me,
01:03:46I can't do anything with that.
01:03:48Now that you've, you know,
01:03:50admitted that you've got your walls up,
01:03:52you don't trust me, how do we get beyond this?
01:03:55You know, that's the next question.
01:03:58Tomorrow night.
01:04:00Dinner is served.
01:04:03It's making me nervous coming into the group now
01:04:05because I'm going to admit to everyone what I've done.
01:04:10I did something that I absolutely regret.
01:04:14What shocking act.
01:04:15It's unacceptable, it's disgusting
01:04:17and I'm hating myself for doing this.
01:04:19Threatens to tear.