21-YEAR-OLD Guy was only two years old when he first expressed that he was transgender. Born anatomically female, he asked his mom Esther why he didn't have the same "male part" as one of his pre-school friends. Esther remembers making a "mental note" at that point and when Guy reached eight years old and was dressing as a tomboy, she thought he was "probably going to be a lesbian." But a few years later, Guy watched a YouTube documentary following children who were transitioning, with one of them writing a letter coming out to their parents as transgender - this was Guy's "lightbulb" moment. He immediately wrote his own letter and gave it to his mom - Esther sat down and read her son's words: "Dear mom, I am a boy. I feel like a boy trapped in a girl's body. On the inside I was always a boy and that's all I ever will be." With so many unknowns ahead, Esther remembers feeling "overwhelmed" and "scared", but she also knew that she had to "be ready for this journey with Guy." She immediately took Guy to a therapist, who suggested he use 'they/them' pronouns for a period before a referral to a clinic marked the start of a rigorous process eventually allowing him to start hormone blockers and avoid going through female puberty. When he then started testosterone at 16 years old, Guy began to see real changes in his body - as well as his voice dropping and facial hair growing, his legs became "a lot straighter and more masculine" and his jaw is now "more pronounced." But, more importantly, this medical journey culminated in Guy experiencing "very little dysphoria" and was finally happy in himself. Now, thanks to encouragement from his girlfriend, he has taken to TikTok and YouTube to tell his story and be a "voice" for future generations of children on their own gender exploration journeys. And although he faced a "backlash" online, this has only made him more determined to "spread positivity" with his message that "your identity is yours to own, yours to express - there's no right or wrong way."
Follow Guy:
https://www.youtube.com/@urlocalstrangerofficial
https://www.tiktok.com/@brownieclub101
Follow Esther:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/esther-persaud-pickering-on/1096513
Follow Guy:
https://www.youtube.com/@urlocalstrangerofficial
https://www.tiktok.com/@brownieclub101
Follow Esther:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/esther-persaud-pickering-on/1096513
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00:00I knew I wanted to be a boy, but I was born female.
00:03I knew I was trans at two years old.
00:06Growing up, I dressed in all boys' clothes,
00:08and my mom thought I was probably a lesbian.
00:11At 11 years old, I came out to my mom as transgender.
00:14Dear Mom, I feel like a boy trapped in a girl's body.
00:18I was always a boy, and that's all I ever will be.
00:22I felt overwhelmed, but I also felt scared,
00:27because I've never done this before.
00:32I've been on testosterone for just over six years,
00:35and it helps me to maintain my facial hair,
00:39to keep my voice low.
00:41If I stopped taking testosterone,
00:43I would get monthly cycles, and my chest would start growing.
00:47So essentially, I'd start detransitioning.
00:50My name is Guy, and I'm 21 years old.
00:52I knew I was transgender at two years old.
00:54I feel like I was born in the wrong body.
00:57I knew I wanted to be a boy, but I was born female.
01:01Over the years, testosterone has really changed my body
01:04in so many ways.
01:05My legs don't come out as much as they used to,
01:08and they're a lot straighter and more masculine.
01:11My facial structure is always changing, too.
01:14My jaw is more pronounced.
01:19I started my medical transition when I was 12 years old.
01:22That's when I started my hormone blockers.
01:24I was 16 years old when I started testosterone.
01:26When I look in the mirror, I'm like,
01:28wow, like, I really like what I see.
01:31I'm able to wear this type of jewelry and earrings
01:34and not feel, you know, super dysphoric about it.
01:37So that's a really great change on testosterone
01:39that's helped me to feel really good when I look in the mirror.
01:44There were so many little things and little nuances
01:48that led up to where I am today.
01:50I made you some tea.
01:51You want to come and look at some photos with me?
01:54Wow.
01:55You're so tiny.
01:57Yeah.
01:58My little face.
02:00Oh, I love this one.
02:03At two years old, I was with my little friend,
02:06and I said, hey, Mom, why don't I have a male part
02:09like my friend over here?
02:11And my mom was completely taken aback.
02:13I was, like, thinking to myself, oh, wow.
02:17What does that mean?
02:19I think I made a mental note at that point
02:22to just wait and see and be open.
02:26Internally, I was thinking,
02:29you are probably going to be a lesbian.
02:33Around, like, seven or eight years old,
02:36I already noticed that I wanted to do things
02:39that were out of the norm of a regular girl.
02:43I dressed as a boy.
02:45I wore boy clothes, boy shoes.
02:48So I was always referred to as, like, the tomboy.
02:54Dilting your head.
02:55It's just so typically you.
02:57Yeah.
02:58There you were, like, 11.
03:01When I was about 10 or 11, I saw this documentary.
03:05Kids that are my age and younger
03:07expressing how they were assigned a certain gender at birth,
03:12and they transitioned into the opposite sex.
03:15I saw the hormonal changes that they were going through,
03:18and I saw the physical changes that they had,
03:20and I was like, wow, I want that.
03:22Guy, do you remember this?
03:24I certainly do.
03:26I can't believe you still have it.
03:27Yeah, I kept it.
03:29I saw this kid come out to his parents,
03:32and I was so scared to do it.
03:33I didn't know how.
03:35And as soon as I saw that he did it in a letter,
03:37oh, light bulb went off in my head.
03:39So then I wrote this letter to my parents.
03:42An important message for parents, in caps.
03:45I remember noticing that on the table.
03:48I left it in the kitchen, and then I left it in the living room.
03:51I felt really scared to know how they were going to react.
03:57Dear Mom, I am a boy.
04:00I feel like a boy trapped in a girl's body.
04:03So you already know that I'm a tomboy, but I'm more than that.
04:08On the inside, I was always a boy, and that's all I ever will be.
04:14My mom came back and said,
04:17hey, Guy, I read your letter.
04:22I hear what you're saying.
04:25I want to support you.
04:27I don't know exactly how to support you,
04:30but whatever next steps we have to take, we will do it.
04:33I don't remember exactly what I thought,
04:36but it was something akin to, there it is,
04:40and I've got to get my armor on,
04:44and I've got to be ready for this journey with Guy.
04:51I wanted to cry.
04:53I felt so happy.
04:55I felt so relieved.
04:58And a huge burden was taken off my body
05:01because I knew that I needed to express something at some point.
05:05I felt strong, but I also felt scared
05:10because I've never done this before.
05:14My mom actually ended up calling a therapist after that,
05:18and we did a trial thing for about five, six months.
05:21When I was 11, I was referred to this clinic.
05:24That's when I started my process of hormone blockers.
05:28I wasn't going to continue going through female puberty.
05:32I cut off my hair, losing a boy cut,
05:35and sometime after that, before you know it, I was on testosterone.
05:38Fast forward to now,
05:40and I am the most comfortable I have ever been in my body.
05:43I am so happy with it.
05:46I experienced very little dysphoria,
05:48and I am so grateful to the person
05:51that helped to make that happen for me.
05:54I'm so grateful to have a mom like the one that I have
05:57because if it weren't for her, I wouldn't be where I am today.
06:00I'm so proud of you.
06:02I've always been proud of you, and you've been such a joy.
06:07I know I'm not the greatest parent,
06:10but you're such a ball of light.
06:12I just want you to realize that.
06:14Don't let me take it away.
06:16I'm so proud of you.
06:21My girlfriend lives in England,
06:23and I met her on this really ridiculous app.
06:27When we first started talking online,
06:29she had no idea I was trans.
06:31I decided to tell her after I suspected
06:34that she was part of the queer community as well.
06:37I was like, hey, by the way, I'm trans,
06:39and she's like, oh, cool, and then moved on.
06:41Basically, we're both trans.
06:43Because we're all not trans.
06:45Because of my girlfriend, I started up a TikTok page
06:48about being trans and also a YouTube page.
06:50She helped to promote that bravery in me
06:52and that confidence in being myself.
06:54Hey, what's up, strangers?
06:56People are going to be talking about
06:58if testosterone makes you gay.
07:00Now, spoiler alert, it actually doesn't.
07:02Sharing about my experience being trans on social media
07:05have gotten so much backlash.
07:07There is just a basic ignorance
07:09and assumptions that are made and misunderstandings,
07:12which lead to people expressing their own opinions about it
07:16before educating themselves.
07:18I've gotten the range from,
07:20oh, you're destroying your body with these chemicals,
07:23to, oh, you're a girl.
07:25You're extremely mentally ill.
07:27There's something very wrong with you.
07:29Your parents did a really bad job at raising you.
07:36It really doesn't faze me,
07:38because at the end of the day,
07:40they're just not happy with themselves,
07:42and I hope they find peace.
07:43Negativity feeds off of negativity.
07:45I'm here to spread positivity and realness.
07:47It's really important for me to speak about my experience
07:50as a child, because if your kid
07:53ends up being trans,
07:55or if you are trans yourself or questioning,
07:57it's so important to have another voice to listen to.
08:00No matter where you are in your journey,
08:02just know that you're valid.
08:04I really hope that anybody seeing this
08:07understands that your identity is yours to own,
08:11yours to express.
08:13There's no right or wrong way.
08:15My journey transitioning has certainly been a rollercoaster.
08:18It was years and years of a process.
08:20It doesn't happen over a month or a year.
08:23In the end, I still can't believe till this day
08:25that I made it where I am now,
08:27and I couldn't be happier with how everything turned out.
08:50For more UN videos visit www.un.org