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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00oh my god she's insane what are you doing here
00:00:17you set me up you stay away from me you're insane
00:00:21i can't let you ruin my wedding miss leanne you and asher are you're a great couple i'm sorry leanne
00:00:36but you've gotta go
00:00:41they say that sex ruins everything
00:00:52oh and sometimes they're right how was that baby awesome
00:01:00we done here yeah i think i did my job
00:01:14we done here yeah baby you're the best you were amazing was it good for you
00:01:22awesome what's your name again
00:01:26money we need to talk what i'm breaking up with you
00:01:34what you mean you are breaking up with me i mean i'm breaking up with you
00:01:40this isn't working out goodbye honey
00:01:46i can't do this anymore what do you mean you were breaking up with me
00:01:49i mean i'm breaking up with you this isn't working out but take care of monique
00:02:03what am i doing
00:02:05hmm
00:02:12so i tell her dude that's not a pickle that's an okra like seriously
00:02:21so she goes totally bonkers on my brother i mean i don't even know what i saw in him in the first
00:02:26place how about you and i and you're just excuse me for a moment i'll be right back
00:02:38so i was thinking how about we get out of here and go back to my place sorry i'll be right back
00:02:57oh damn it i'm so sorry
00:03:05oh my god asher yeah what are you doing oh i'm drowning my sorrows here
00:03:13do you want a drink
00:03:21how did i ever lose touch with my undergrad bff
00:03:25life i guess we should vow to never let that happen again
00:03:29pinky swear pinky swear friends forever stop doing that
00:03:38we should vow to never let that happen again pinky swear pinky swear friends forever
00:03:45stop doing that
00:03:46thank you oh what about work i actually just started a new job i'm doing marketing at gen
00:03:58guard small world they're our biggest client no way wait what do you do i work at a software
00:04:07development startup hey
00:04:18what about your love life what what about your love life oh my god years of bad sex
00:04:26with jerks a lifetime of one night stands with shallow women cheers mate
00:04:31how about we
00:04:38stop it no hey we're friends well if you ever do want an earth-shattering orgasm i'm your man
00:04:47sex ruins everything yeah i suppose you're right
00:04:51come on i'll be your wing woman though and i'll be your wing man
00:05:21so
00:05:41i can't remember the last time i had this much fun
00:05:44i can't remember the last time i laughed this hard i think i peed myself a little bit
00:05:51i have that effect on women
00:05:58i forgot how pretty you are thanks i think
00:06:05let's never lose touch again
00:06:07so
00:06:11friends forever
00:06:14friends forever
00:06:37so
00:06:48uh
00:07:06Let's do it again, let's do it again, let's do it again, let's do it again, let's do it
00:07:36again.
00:07:37Oh my god, what are you doing here?
00:07:51I don't know, what am I doing here?
00:07:53Oh my head, my head.
00:07:57Feels like there's a bang of nails resting on my brain.
00:08:04Hey, that made sense right here.
00:08:08What?
00:08:09No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, bad idea.
00:08:11What?
00:08:12Last night was a bad idea.
00:08:15Why?
00:08:16Because, Asher, you're one of my best friends.
00:08:21Fuck, sex ruins everything.
00:08:24I suppose you're right, but still.
00:08:29But still.
00:08:33I have a proposition.
00:08:36What?
00:08:37Friends with benefits, sex without strings.
00:08:43You do you, I do me, and we do each other.
00:08:50Interesting.
00:08:58Okay, sold.
00:09:02Friends with benefits.
00:09:05And I'll need the marketing report for the fourth quarter.
00:09:34Hello, ladies.
00:09:39Asher?
00:09:42You two know each other?
00:09:46Yeah, we know each other from college.
00:09:50He's one of my best friends.
00:09:52What are you doing here?
00:09:53I'm here to see my father.
00:09:55Wait, what?
00:09:56Daddy owns the company.
00:09:58I know.
00:09:59I actually own the company I work at.
00:10:03He's worth billions.
00:10:05And here I thought I knew everything about you.
00:10:08I've been busy since college.
00:10:10Clearly.
00:10:11Listen, I gotta run, but talk to you later?
00:10:16Sure.
00:10:17Good to see you, Beth.
00:10:19You too.
00:10:23Oh, what a man.
00:10:33What's this?
00:10:35I took the liberty of drawing up a friends with benefits contract.
00:10:39A contract?
00:10:40It outlines the parameters of our relationship.
00:10:42Okay.
00:10:44Article one, nobody knows.
00:10:47It might get in the way of us seeing other people.
00:10:49Good point.
00:10:50Article two, we meet at a mutually agreed upon place,
00:10:53at a mutually agreed upon time.
00:10:55Okay.
00:10:56Article three, honesty and transparency are a must.
00:11:00Agreed.
00:11:01Article four, no lies.
00:11:05No lies.
00:11:08Article five, once one party sleeps with another person,
00:11:14the agreement is over.
00:11:16I don't like that one.
00:11:19Gets too complicated otherwise.
00:11:23Fine.
00:11:26Fine.
00:11:29And finally,
00:11:34friends first.
00:11:37Friends first.
00:11:48Let's eat.
00:11:56Let's eat.
00:12:26Let's eat.
00:12:44No, I think the wife did it.
00:12:46And I think you're insane.
00:12:47No, you do.
00:12:50Stop it.
00:12:56Will you go out with me?
00:12:58What?
00:12:59On a date.
00:13:01Will you go on a date with me?
00:13:03A real one.
00:13:05No.
00:13:11Why?
00:13:14I mean, no, the contract.
00:13:16Forget the contract.
00:13:17No, friends first.
00:13:19Remember?
00:13:21Sex, romance, it ruins everything.
00:13:26Asher, you mean way too much to me for that.
00:13:39Come on.
00:13:44Friends first?
00:13:51Friends first.
00:13:56Friends first.
00:14:04So, see you at seven tonight?
00:14:05Yeah, sure.
00:14:18Oh, my God.
00:14:21He asked me out.
00:14:22He asked me out.
00:14:24Breathe, Beth.
00:14:25I've been crushing on him for so long.
00:14:28On Asher?
00:14:29Yes.
00:14:30He asked you out?
00:14:31Yes.
00:14:32On a date?
00:14:33Yes, yes, yes.
00:14:35Will you grab a coffee with me later?
00:14:37Because you two are such good friends,
00:14:38you can give me some tips.
00:14:40Oh.
00:14:43Yeah, okay.
00:14:45I gotta go.
00:14:46I'm getting a mighty penny ready for the big night.
00:14:48I'm totally freaking out.
00:14:52Bye.
00:14:55Bye.
00:15:02Where was he born?
00:15:03Philadelphia.
00:15:04Philadelphia.
00:15:06Uh, favorite food?
00:15:08Um.
00:15:11He likes hot fudge sundaes.
00:15:14Oh, hot fudge sundae.
00:15:17I like your pen.
00:15:18I've never seen that color before.
00:15:20Daddy has a made-for-me special.
00:15:22It's my favorite color, heliotrope purple.
00:15:24Cool.
00:15:25What about sports?
00:15:28Beth, why don't you just ask him this yourself?
00:15:31On your date.
00:15:32I can't do that.
00:15:33If I'm gonna marry this man,
00:15:34he's gotta think we're meant to be.
00:15:38Marry?
00:15:40You got a problem with that?
00:15:47Why have the two of you never hooked up anyhow?
00:15:50Me and Asher?
00:15:52No.
00:15:54No, no, no.
00:15:55Never.
00:15:56He's...
00:15:57We're friends.
00:15:59We're best friends.
00:16:01Good.
00:16:02By the way, I love your outfit.
00:16:04Where'd you get it?
00:16:05Oh, Mason's on 3rd.
00:16:07It's super cute.
00:16:09Okay, let's carry on.
00:16:10Uh, siblings?
00:16:15And being an only child.
00:16:18I was an only child as well.
00:16:19Really?
00:16:20Cool.
00:16:21Anyhow, being an only child,
00:16:22my parents sent me to art camp in Philadelphia.
00:16:25I was born in Philly.
00:16:28Shut up.
00:16:29It's my favorite city.
00:16:31Where was the school?
00:16:33Um, I...
00:16:37Can I introduce you to some dessert?
00:16:44How about we share a hot fudge sundae?
00:16:48That is my favorite dessert.
00:16:54I can't believe how much we have in common.
00:17:01I had a wonderful time.
00:17:04I really hope we can do this again.
00:17:07That would be great.
00:17:10Good night.
00:17:13Oh, my.
00:17:15Okay, thank you.
00:17:18Listen,
00:17:20I should really head out.
00:17:24Uh, take care.
00:17:26Why don't you come up?
00:17:29And I will fuck you.
00:17:31It's within an inch of your life.
00:17:33Over here, over here.
00:17:35Wow.
00:17:36Um, I don't think that would be such a good idea.
00:17:39Why?
00:17:40Because I've sworn off one-night stands.
00:17:44I'm a one-night stand?
00:17:46No, no.
00:17:47That's not what I meant.
00:17:48It's just...
00:17:50Sex ruins everything.
00:17:53Let's wait.
00:17:55So it can be perfect.
00:17:58Yeah?
00:18:02Yes.
00:18:05Okay.
00:18:07Toodles.
00:18:09Shit.
00:18:14Beth?
00:18:16It was nice.
00:18:18We have a lot in common.
00:18:22Are you jealous?
00:18:25No.
00:18:30Did you, um...
00:18:33Did you sleep together?
00:18:35No.
00:18:36But not for lack of her trying.
00:18:38Beth?
00:18:40She's an animal.
00:18:42Oh, God.
00:18:44Stop it.
00:18:45Besides, I don't want to ruin our arrangement.
00:18:48Not for Beth, you don't.
00:18:50Yeah, my days of one-night stands are over.
00:18:52I want to wait, just in case she is the one.
00:18:56You never know.
00:18:58I want to get off on the right foot.
00:19:00I'm never getting married.
00:19:04I'm ready to settle down.
00:19:08Oh?
00:19:11You do you.
00:19:13To each his own.
00:19:14Agreed.
00:19:16Did you just steal my fudge?
00:19:17Maybe.
00:19:18Give it back.
00:19:19Come on.
00:19:20It's my fudge.
00:19:23It's my strawberry.
00:19:24All right.
00:19:26That was rude.
00:19:56Leanne Lamont.
00:19:58You do not have feelings for Asher.
00:20:02You will not have feelings for Asher.
00:20:06True love does not exist.
00:20:08You will only get hurt.
00:20:10He is your friend.
00:20:12Don't blow it.
00:20:14Friendship first.
00:20:16You will only get hurt.
00:20:18He is your friend.
00:20:20Don't blow it.
00:20:22Friendship first.
00:20:24Friendship first.
00:20:26Leanne Lamont.
00:20:28You do not have feelings for Asher.
00:20:30You will not have feelings for Asher.
00:20:32True love does not exist.
00:20:34You will only get hurt.
00:20:36He is your friend.
00:20:38Don't blow it.
00:20:40Friendship first.
00:20:43Leanne Lamont.
00:20:54You do not have feelings for Asher.
00:20:56You will only get hurt.
00:20:58He is your friend.
00:21:00Don't blow it.
00:21:02Friendship first.
00:21:04Friendship first.
00:21:06Leanne Lamont.
00:21:08You do not have feelings for Asher.
00:21:10You will only get hurt.
00:21:13Hey.
00:21:15Shit.
00:21:17I'm so sorry.
00:21:19My bad. My fault.
00:21:21Hang on.
00:21:24You got a tissue?
00:21:28Here.
00:21:30Let me.
00:21:32What are you doing?
00:21:34I didn't realize.
00:21:36Hey Asher.
00:21:38Eric.
00:21:42Okay.
00:21:44See you guys later.
00:21:48Here.
00:21:52I'm Leanne.
00:21:54By the way.
00:21:56I'm Eric.
00:22:04That was fun.
00:22:06Was that fun?
00:22:08Or was Eric fun?
00:22:12Both.
00:22:14You got to watch out for him.
00:22:16He's a player.
00:22:18So what?
00:22:20I can handle myself.
00:22:22That's not what I'm saying.
00:22:24Oh my god.
00:22:26Are you jealous?
00:22:28No.
00:22:30Why would I be jealous?
00:22:32We're friends with benefits.
00:22:34Remember?
00:22:36You don't have to be a dick about it.
00:22:38I'm not being a dick.
00:22:40You're just making another bad choice.
00:22:44I can handle myself.
00:22:46Fine.
00:22:48You know.
00:22:52Maybe things are getting too complicated.
00:22:56Maybe we need to end this.
00:22:58Arrangement.
00:23:02Maybe you're so shut down.
00:23:04That you can only date asshole men.
00:23:10Maybe you should go fuck yourself.
00:23:14Maybe I will.
00:23:18Yes.
00:23:28Flowers for Mrs. Leanne Lambert.
00:23:30That's me.
00:23:36I'm Eric.
00:23:44What are you doing here?
00:23:46I'm meeting with Best Dad.
00:23:50That's from Eric?
00:23:52Yes.
00:23:56They're nice.
00:24:01Listen.
00:24:03I'm really sorry about last night.
00:24:05I was out of line.
00:24:07No.
00:24:09No, I was out of line.
00:24:11I'm so sorry.
00:24:13About the slap.
00:24:15Oh my god.
00:24:17Yeah, I deserved it.
00:24:23Friends forever?
00:24:27Friends forever.
00:24:31Dinner later?
00:24:33Sounds awesome.
00:24:41Someone's in a good mood.
00:24:43It's just.
00:24:45I'm just so happy.
00:24:47You know, Leanne.
00:24:49I think I like Asher a lot.
00:24:53I think he could be the one.
00:24:55Oh.
00:24:57I don't know.
00:24:59I don't know.
00:25:01I don't know.
00:25:03I don't know.
00:25:05I don't know.
00:25:07I don't know.
00:25:09Oh.
00:25:11I think I'm falling in love.
00:25:13You've only just started dating.
00:25:15Have you ever had a connection
00:25:17that's just so deep
00:25:19so immediate
00:25:21that you just know?
00:25:25Yeah.
00:25:27That's awesome.
00:25:29You know, he told me he wants us
00:25:31to wait for sex.
00:25:33He says he wants to build a strong
00:25:35foundation first.
00:25:39I hope he's not jealous.
00:25:41Oh.
00:25:43No.
00:25:45I don't know.
00:25:47I just want him to be happy.
00:25:49By the way, I love your lipstick.
00:25:51It's so unique.
00:25:53What color is it?
00:25:55Paris pink.
00:25:57I love it.
00:25:59Anyway, gotta go.
00:26:01Toodles.
00:26:03Why are you
00:26:05so down?
00:26:07What's wrong?
00:26:09Nothing.
00:26:11Famous last words.
00:26:13Is it
00:26:15attic?
00:26:17Of course not.
00:26:19How's Beth, by the way?
00:26:21She thinks that you're gonna settle down
00:26:23with her.
00:26:25Yeah, you never know.
00:26:29Give me your hand.
00:26:31I'll tell you what's gonna happen.
00:26:33Come on.
00:26:35Okay.
00:26:37This is your
00:26:39lifeline. It's long.
00:26:41You have a nice, long
00:26:43life.
00:26:45This is your
00:26:47headline for wisdom.
00:26:49And
00:26:51looks like you have done
00:26:53some stupid things.
00:26:57And this
00:26:59is your loveline.
00:27:01So you've got a rocky beginning
00:27:03over here
00:27:05but you have a long
00:27:07line of love ahead of you.
00:27:30You wanna go home
00:27:32and fuck?
00:27:34Great idea.
00:28:00Fuck.
00:28:02Fuck.
00:28:28Looks like we had fun last night.
00:28:33Do you have a key?
00:28:40I'll just pick it.
00:28:42Hmm.
00:29:00Oh.
00:29:02Nice trick.
00:29:04Right?
00:29:06Yeah.
00:29:09Who is that?
00:29:11I have no idea.
00:29:13Hello!
00:29:15Your front door was unlocked.
00:29:17I brought
00:29:19dough!
00:29:30That's...
00:29:34How could you?
00:29:38Beth! Wait, Beth!
00:29:40Oh, fuck. What have I done?
00:29:44What do you mean,
00:29:46what have you done?
00:29:48Beth, it's not what it looks like!
00:29:58Hey.
00:30:00What are you doing?
00:30:02I'm leaving. I'm getting dressed. I'm going.
00:30:04I'm feeling kind of yucky right now.
00:30:06You didn't do anything. It was me. I fucked up.
00:30:09You said it wasn't serious.
00:30:11It wasn't. It isn't. It doesn't matter.
00:30:13I fucked up. Whatever it is,
00:30:15it was. I fucked it up, okay?
00:30:21I guess it's time for us to end this friends with benefits thing.
00:30:29Yeah.
00:30:32Friends first?
00:30:38Friends first.
00:30:53Hey, Beth.
00:30:55Go away!
00:30:58I need to talk to you.
00:31:01I fire her
00:31:03except Daddy said we'd get sued.
00:31:05You, on the other hand,
00:31:07I don't want to speak to you ever again.
00:31:09No, it's not what you think, okay?
00:31:11It was a stupid game, friends with benefits,
00:31:13but it's over now, okay? I promise.
00:31:15Do you love her?
00:31:17Of course not.
00:31:19Okay, she means nothing to me.
00:31:21Really?
00:31:23Hey,
00:31:25I want to see what happens between us.
00:31:27You and me.
00:31:29Please.
00:31:31Give me another chance.
00:31:33I'm sorry.
00:31:35I'm sorry.
00:31:37I'm sorry.
00:31:39I'm sorry.
00:31:41I'm sorry.
00:31:43Please.
00:31:45Give me another chance.
00:31:53I suppose.
00:31:57Okay.
00:31:59Okay.
00:32:10Leanne, it's me again.
00:32:12Don't know why you're avoiding me.
00:32:14I'm so confused.
00:32:16Friends forever, remember?
00:32:23Eric.
00:32:25Hi.
00:32:27I'm sorry if it's been a while.
00:32:29I know I've been out of touch, but
00:32:31I would love to see you again.
00:32:33If you're up for it.
00:32:43Asher?
00:32:45Asher, it's me.
00:32:47I haven't heard from you in like four hours.
00:32:49What's going on?
00:32:51Are you with Leanne?
00:32:53Call me.
00:32:57Okay.
00:33:03Okay, Leanne.
00:33:05I don't know what I did to drive you away, but
00:33:07I'll leave you alone now.
00:33:09If you ever want to be friends again,
00:33:11you know where to find me.
00:33:27It's Eric.
00:33:29Leave a message.
00:33:31Hey, Eric.
00:33:33I just wanted to say that
00:33:35I had a great time the other night
00:33:37and I wanted to see what you were doing later.
00:33:39Asher?
00:33:41Asher, where are you?
00:33:43Why won't you call me back?
00:33:45I know you're with her.
00:33:47You lied to me!
00:33:49Okay.
00:33:51Miss you.
00:33:53Call me.
00:33:55Miss you.
00:33:57Call me. Bye.
00:34:03Beth, I got your
00:34:0535 messages.
00:34:07Listen.
00:34:09I'd really like to get to know you better
00:34:11and spend some time with you, but
00:34:13maybe we need to slow things down a bit.
00:34:15I'll call you when I can.
00:34:25Ah!
00:34:27Ah!
00:34:43Hey, hey, hey, babe.
00:34:45Slow down.
00:34:51To love.
00:34:55Wait.
00:34:57Love sucks.
00:35:01Okay.
00:35:03I think we've had enough.
00:35:07How about we head back to my place?
00:35:11Fabulous.
00:35:15Easy.
00:35:25Fuck.
00:35:45What a goody, isn't he?
00:35:55Hey.
00:36:17I'm just so happy to see you again.
00:36:19Yeah, I'm sorry I've been aloof.
00:36:21Just been going through some stuff.
00:36:23No, that's okay. Just life.
00:36:25Is it Leanne?
00:36:27I don't want to talk about Leanne.
00:36:29You know her and Eric
00:36:31have gotten hot and heavy.
00:36:33I thought she wasn't into Eric.
00:36:35Well, when I was out and about this morning,
00:36:37I saw her leaving Eric's apartment.
00:36:39It would look like
00:36:41her clothes from last night.
00:36:43No way. She would never. He's a knob.
00:36:47Which is why
00:36:49I grabbed a photo.
00:36:53I guess she's not the same you think she is.
00:37:23Hey.
00:37:25Hey.
00:37:27Hey.
00:37:29Hey.
00:37:31Hey.
00:37:33Hey.
00:37:35Hey.
00:37:37Hey.
00:37:39Hey.
00:37:41Hey.
00:37:43Hey.
00:37:45Hey.
00:37:47Hey.
00:37:49Hey.
00:37:51Hey.
00:37:53Hey.
00:37:55Hey.
00:37:57Hey.
00:37:59Hey.
00:38:01Hey.
00:38:03Hey.
00:38:05Hey.
00:38:07Hey.
00:38:09Hey.
00:38:11Hey.
00:38:13Hey.
00:38:15Hey.
00:38:17Hey.
00:38:19Hey.
00:38:37What the fuck, Leanne?
00:38:39How could you miss that?
00:38:41Sorry. I'm trying my best.
00:38:43Hey.
00:38:45Your best isn't good enough.
00:38:47Okay, hey, you've had too much to drink.
00:38:49Don't tell me what to do, woman.
00:38:51She can handle herself.
00:38:53Remember, that part of your life is over.
00:38:55Everyone!
00:38:57Look at the loser.
00:38:59It's all embarrassing.
00:39:01Fucking prick.
00:39:03Come here.
00:39:07Come on.
00:39:17Hey.
00:39:19Hey.
00:39:21Hey.
00:39:23Hey.
00:39:25Hey.
00:39:27Hey.
00:39:29Hey.
00:39:31Hey.
00:39:33Hey.
00:39:35Hey.
00:39:37Hey.
00:39:39Hey.
00:39:41Hey.
00:39:43Hey.
00:39:45Hey.
00:39:47Hey.
00:39:49Hey.
00:39:51Hey.
00:39:53Hey.
00:39:55Hey.
00:39:57Hey.
00:39:59Hey.
00:40:01Hey.
00:40:03Hey.
00:40:05Hey.
00:40:07Hey.
00:40:09Hey.
00:40:11Hey.
00:40:13Hey.
00:40:15Hey.
00:40:21Are you breaking up with me?
00:40:23I wouldn't call it breaking up.
00:40:25We only just got back together.
00:40:27Beth,
00:40:29we were never together.
00:40:31We went out, like,
00:40:33six times.
00:40:35You said you wanted to see where things went.
00:40:37Yes, and unfortunately,
00:40:39they went in another direction.
00:40:41I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.
00:40:45You're fired.
00:40:47You can't fire me. I don't work at your company and I own mine.
00:40:52Fire Leanne.
00:40:53You can't. She'll sue.
00:40:57You're a terrific girl and I really enjoyed our time together.
00:41:00And more than anything, I truly hope that we can remain friends.
00:41:07See ya.
00:41:11No!
00:41:41You're fired.
00:41:42You can't. She'll sue.
00:42:11You're fired.
00:42:12You can't. She'll sue.
00:42:41Hey Eric, thinking about you, when do you want to hook up?
00:43:00How about a hotel this time?
00:43:03We need to be super careful that Asher doesn't find out.
00:43:09Love, her friend, with benefits, Leanne. XO, XO.
00:43:20When Asher reads this text, he's definitely going to want to break up with you, Leanne.
00:43:26I can't believe you think I'm lying.
00:43:28Then how do you explain this text?
00:43:30I don't know. I didn't send it.
00:43:33You've been sneaking around with Eric and accidentally sent me a text meant for him.
00:43:40How could you be so stupid?
00:43:42I am not seeing Eric.
00:43:46Why would I cheat on you? You're my lover. You're my best friend.
00:43:50Clearly not.
00:43:54I am not a cheater.
00:43:56I did not send that text and I don't know how it got there, but if you want to break up over this, then fine.
00:44:04I do.
00:44:11Okay.
00:44:34I will, I will, I will!
00:44:46Wondering if you prefer cream puffs or cheesecake for the dessert?
00:44:49Or both? Thoughts?
00:44:51I don't know.
00:44:52I don't know.
00:44:53I don't know.
00:44:54I don't know.
00:44:55I don't know.
00:44:56I don't know.
00:44:57I don't know.
00:44:58I don't know.
00:44:59I don't know.
00:45:00I don't know.
00:45:01I don't know.
00:45:02Or both? Thoughts?
00:45:07Please, don't marry him.
00:45:09You don't love her.
00:45:11You're rebounding.
00:45:19I'm thinking chartreuse and pink for the bridesmaids.
00:45:21Thoughts?
00:45:24A string quartet instead of a jazz trio?
00:45:26Thoughts?
00:45:28They say he's the photographer to the stars.
00:45:32Thoughts?
00:45:48Seat your Uncle Harold next to my second cousin once removed.
00:45:51I think they'd really get along because it turns out that they both have the same dog.
00:45:56Did you know that?
00:45:57It's crazy.
00:45:58Oh my God.
00:46:15Hello!
00:46:19Did you get my messages?
00:46:21You're going to love the photographer. He's awesome.
00:46:24I have tons of dresses and shoes to try on for you and there's more with the doorman.
00:46:27Could you run down and grab them?
00:46:29Sure.
00:46:30Thanks.
00:46:49Beth, you have got to end this friendship once and for all.
00:46:55Okay.
00:46:57Okay.
00:47:01You are gone, Leanne Lamont.
00:47:04Once I'm done with this, he is never going to want to see you again.
00:47:08Ever.
00:47:16Our relationship to you and your company is officially terminated.
00:47:20Effective now.
00:47:22Wait.
00:47:23What?
00:47:25Our source indicates you've been selling Fallon Industries secrets to our competitors.
00:47:30Who's the source?
00:47:36Oh my God.
00:47:37Why would she do this?
00:47:40Lovers scorned, I suppose.
00:47:42No, it's not true. This will ruin me.
00:47:44You know, Asher, I have half a mind to call off your wedding to my Bethy Wethy this weekend.
00:47:51But she'd never speak to me again.
00:47:55So I'm stuck with you.
00:47:57Mr. Fallon, I swear, this isn't true.
00:48:01It doesn't matter at this point.
00:48:03It's already in the trades.
00:48:05You're toxic, Asher.
00:48:07Nobody will touch you.
00:48:10So now you get your ass out of my office.
00:48:21Asher?
00:48:22Bitch.
00:48:23What?
00:48:24You jealous bitch.
00:48:26What are you doing? What are you...
00:48:28I'm getting married to someone else on Saturday, so you got jealous and decided to ruin me.
00:48:34Honey?
00:48:35What are you talking about? I would never try to ruin you.
00:48:39Old job, well done.
00:48:41Okay, let's just figure this out.
00:48:43Stay away from me.
00:48:45Asher, you're one of my best friends.
00:48:48We are not friends.
00:48:50Okay, we are nothing.
00:48:53Stay away from me, don't contact me, don't speak to me, don't look at me.
00:49:04You are dead to me.
00:49:18Asher...
00:49:48Asher...
00:49:49Asher...
00:49:50Asher...
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00:52:09This is crazy.
00:52:11I didn't write this.
00:52:17Heliotrope Purple.
00:52:21It was Beth.
00:52:27Heliotrope Purple.
00:52:30It was Beth.
00:52:34She's been trying to break us up all along.
00:52:36Oh my god.
00:52:38The wedding's on Saturday.
00:52:40I have to warn him.
00:52:43Come on, come on, Asher.
00:52:46Okay.
00:52:48Come on.
00:52:54Shit, he blocked me?
00:53:09Beth?
00:53:11Beth?
00:53:22Beth?
00:53:38Beth?
00:54:09Beth?
00:54:25Oh my god.
00:54:28She's insane.
00:54:30What are you doing here?
00:54:34Beth.
00:54:36You set me up.
00:54:39You've been trying to break us up, you bitch.
00:54:42I'd say you're in no position to be making accusations, but you're right.
00:54:46And I won.
00:54:50You stay away from me.
00:54:52You're insane.
00:54:57I'll scream.
00:54:58Nobody will hear you.
00:55:05Can't let you ruin my wedding, Leanne.
00:55:12I'm not gonna ruin your wedding.
00:55:14I promise, Beth.
00:55:16Okay?
00:55:17You and Asher are...
00:55:19You're a great couple.
00:55:22He loves you.
00:55:26Why don't I just go away?
00:55:28I'll move.
00:55:30I'll quit my job, just...
00:55:32Please.
00:55:33Beth.
00:55:35Don't hurt me.
00:55:37Okay?
00:55:38I'm sorry, Leanne.
00:55:42But you've gotta go.
00:55:49I'm sorry, Leanne.
00:55:53But you've gotta go.
00:55:55No!
00:55:56No!
00:55:57Oh my god.
00:56:05No!
00:56:07No!
00:56:09No!
00:56:11No!
00:56:35No!
00:57:05No!
00:57:11Don't bother.
00:57:12That pipe's in there good.
00:57:14You're not going anywhere.
00:57:18You're crazy.
00:57:20You're never getting away with this.
00:57:22Oh, but I will.
00:57:23See, I'm getting married today.
00:57:25And then we'll go on our honeymoon.
00:57:27And when I get back, you'll be dead.
00:57:32I hear starvation is a long and painful death.
00:57:39You bitch.
00:57:41You bitch!
00:57:44Oh, and by the way...
00:57:46You're fired!
00:57:49Toodles!
00:58:01Toodles!
00:58:02Toodles!
00:58:32No.
00:58:40No!
00:58:41No!
00:59:01No!
00:59:32No!
00:59:41No, no, no, no.
00:59:42Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
00:59:44No!
00:59:45Come on!
00:59:48No!
01:00:00Dearly beloved,
01:00:01we're gathered here today
01:00:03in front of God and these witnesses
01:00:05to join in...
01:00:06Stop.
01:00:10Dearly beloved,
01:00:11we're gathered here today
01:00:13in front of God and these witnesses
01:00:16Join in.
01:00:17Stop.
01:00:21What are you doing here?
01:00:22Keep going, fast.
01:00:24What's going on, Beth?
01:00:25Security, take this woman away.
01:00:28She's clearly deranged.
01:00:29Come on, dearly beloved.
01:00:31We are gathered here today.
01:00:32Let's go finish it.
01:00:33Mr. Fallon, your daughter wrote this letter.
01:00:37Not me.
01:00:39On which she forged my signature.
01:00:41What?
01:00:42That's completely absurd.
01:00:47Is this true?
01:00:47She's crazy.
01:00:48Security!
01:00:51She confessed to it all last night.
01:00:53Right after she tried to kill me.
01:00:58Asher, you love me.
01:00:59We're getting married today.
01:01:00Go, go, go!
01:01:03Go away, you crazy bitch!
01:01:05You're ruining everything!
01:01:12Go away, you crazy bitch!
01:01:14You're ruining everything!
01:01:16Beth, how could you?
01:01:18I did it for you, baby, for us.
01:01:20Get off me.
01:01:26I will kill you.
01:01:27I will kill you!
01:01:29Don't!
01:01:30Ow!
01:01:31Get off me!
01:01:33Hey!
01:01:34No!
01:01:35Asher!
01:01:38No, no, no, no!
01:01:39Ah!
01:01:40Beth Fallon, do take me!
01:01:42Asher Reynolds, I need to lock up you, honey pie!
01:01:45Oh!
01:01:47Hey.
01:01:49You okay?
01:01:52Yeah, I think so.
01:01:54Okay.
01:01:56God.
01:01:58Can someone grab a chair?
01:02:02You okay?
01:02:04Yeah, I think so.
01:02:06Okay.
01:02:08God.
01:02:10Can someone grab a chair?
01:02:16Babe.
01:02:17Hey, wake up, babe.
01:02:19Baby, wake up.
01:02:20Baby.
01:02:21Hey, wake up.
01:02:22Wake up, baby.
01:02:24Man.
01:02:27Asher.
01:02:28Yes, it's me.
01:02:29And it's all over.
01:02:36I'm so sorry for everything.
01:02:38I'm more sorry.
01:02:40You saved me.
01:02:42You're my hero.
01:02:47Asher, I love you.
01:02:50I love you, Leigh.
01:02:57Let me help you up.
01:03:05But before I take you to the hospital,
01:03:08I have a question to ask you.
01:03:16Will you marry me?
01:03:20Yes, yes.
01:03:23Yes, yes, yes.
01:03:29They say that sex ruins everything.
01:03:32But sometimes, it makes everything better.
01:03:45you