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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Neighbors bring food with death, and flowers with sickness, and little things in between.
00:00:19Boo was our neighbor.
00:00:22He gave us two soaked dolls, a broken watch and chain, a knife, and our lives.
00:01:53So what's the deal? Mom didn't believe in lampshades?
00:01:57Give her a break, Jeff. She was really sick before she died.
00:02:11Your mom really lived like this?
00:02:13What do we say? Her money was in the toilet.
00:02:16Come on, Alex. This place means a lot to me.
00:02:19Hey, I need to make a little speech.
00:02:21Ugh, not that.
00:02:23What's that?
00:02:24Mom always used to do that.
00:02:26She used to make these speeches every time we had a visitor,
00:02:28and she wouldn't let them leave until she made a speech either.
00:02:31My dear friends.
00:02:32Christ.
00:02:33Tonight, we are gathered in Mom's old house.
00:02:37I know this is probably weird for you boys, being a stranger's house and all,
00:02:41and it's kind of a stranger's house to me too.
00:02:46And I bet for Alex.
00:02:48But we'll be selling this place soon, so for tonight, just one night, it can be a home again.
00:02:55I don't know why I feel weird tonight.
00:02:58Sober and tipsy, I guess.
00:03:01I miss Mom a little, and this is her place of routine and care and love.
00:03:08So we're here.
00:03:12So it'll work then.
00:03:14Are you sure that was necessary?
00:03:16If you miss her so much, that'd probably upset you.
00:03:18Nope.
00:03:20Ugh, it's hot in here.
00:03:23Right, so can we eat now? Because I'm getting the Dolman Crunches.
00:03:27What?
00:03:28You know, when you get hungry and you've got that grinding in your abdomen?
00:03:31That's what this is. Dolman Crunches.
00:03:34Is it really that hard to just say abdomen?
00:03:37Is it really that hard to just say abdomen?
00:03:40Dolman saves time. Everybody knows what a dolman is.
00:03:51Man, this is a guy's apartment.
00:03:58TGI Friday's quesadillas and White Castle cheeseburgers.
00:04:05Sounds just like her.
00:04:07Mama's always one of the guys, and she loved those dillas.
00:04:11Dillas?
00:04:12Quesadillas?
00:04:14If she can say dillas, I can say dolman.
00:04:17Enough. You guys can eat the junk food.
00:04:20I'm going to go to the car and get my groceries and make some gazpacho.
00:04:35Water
00:04:58All right.
00:05:06Guys, shouldn't we pray before we eat?
00:05:09No.
00:05:11Come on, guys. Mom just died.
00:05:14Steph, you can do one of those little silent prayers.
00:05:18Amen, then?
00:05:20You guys are missing out on this gazpacho.
00:05:22Oh my god, I love White Castle.
00:05:25So good for my dolman.
00:05:30It's so good.
00:05:32It's so good.
00:05:34It's so good.
00:05:36It's so good.
00:05:38It's so good.
00:05:40It's so good.
00:05:42It's so good.
00:05:44It's so good.
00:05:47It's so good.
00:05:50So, Bruce, we haven't really met.
00:05:52No.
00:05:54How long have you been dating my sister?
00:05:56I don't know. About a hundred years.
00:05:59He means five months.
00:06:01Guys never remember anniversaries.
00:06:03How'd you guys meet?
00:06:05Online.
00:06:07My boss Julia is always telling me how she loves the online world.
00:06:11I guess it really does work.
00:06:13So what do you do?
00:06:15Well, I work at the Mara Inn with Jeff.
00:06:18What's that?
00:06:19It's a small hotel.
00:06:21I'd really rather not talk about work right now.
00:06:23I didn't really ask you, but incidentally, what are you doing here?
00:06:27Well, Stephanie told me to bring as many people as I could to help pack up this place.
00:06:32I'm glad I came. What with the White Castle stuff and all.
00:06:36How do you two know each other?
00:06:38From our days in the old schoolyard.
00:06:42Ah, old friends.
00:06:44Do you have a girlfriend, Jeff?
00:06:47Ah, yeah, still working on that one.
00:06:51Always the holy grail, I guess.
00:06:54That's all the answer I needed, thanks.
00:06:56Now, hold on a minute.
00:06:58Jeff had a little issue he had to deal with.
00:07:01Oh?
00:07:02It's okay. I can tell her myself.
00:07:04Look, in college I had this female friend named Laura.
00:07:08One night we thought it would be a great idea to get drunk and have sex.
00:07:12Which we did.
00:07:14And it was terrible.
00:07:16And we didn't even finish.
00:07:18And afterwards we never talked again.
00:07:22Aw, that's a sad story, Jeff.
00:07:25Were you in love with her?
00:07:30Well, I'm sorry you couldn't swoop in and save the day.
00:07:35So, what do you think of my sister?
00:07:39I like her a lot.
00:07:41She's not too religious for you?
00:07:43Hey, I'm really not that bad.
00:07:45She really isn't at all.
00:07:47That's cute. Julia told me she thinks so too.
00:07:50I don't think it's the excess of religion that's her problem.
00:07:53I think it's the bubble she lives in.
00:07:55Alex!
00:07:56You know about the last guy she dated?
00:07:58Yes, Homer.
00:08:00They lived together for a few months.
00:08:02I'm totally all cool with that.
00:08:04Yeah, you're just so mad chill.
00:08:06You know how hard that breakup was for her?
00:08:08She could be a tough plate of raw fish when it comes to her emotions.
00:08:14Why don't we talk about something else?
00:08:16What's up, Jeff?
00:08:19I'm gonna take my pants off.
00:08:25What the hell?
00:08:28You didn't need to change the subject that much.
00:08:31Well, it's a little warm in here and these jeans aren't actually that comfortable,
00:08:34so I'm gonna loosen up a little bit.
00:08:36Yeah, that's really respectful to my mom's memory, just so you know.
00:08:39Well, look who's talking.
00:08:41She's dead and you're drinking champagne.
00:08:43And you're drinking fructose corn syrup.
00:08:46What the hell's the difference?
00:08:48Okay, okay. Let's try to have some fun.
00:08:50We don't have to be so solemn about this whole thing.
00:08:52What do you mean by fun?
00:09:32I think that was Mom punishing us for the dance.
00:09:35Yeah. Maybe we should get rolling.
00:09:38Oh, come on. It was just getting to the chorus.
00:09:41Yeah, but it's almost midnight and some of you have been drinking,
00:09:46so let's just do this before you start falling asleep.
00:09:49Do what? Honey, I'm sorry, but there's no way we're gonna pack up this whole place in one single night.
00:09:54I think you mean looking for the money?
00:09:57Yeah.
00:10:00Yeah, that's right.
00:10:02Uh, money?
00:10:04Is that why you had us all come here tonight?
00:10:06That's why you wanted guests?
00:10:08What are you guys talking about?
00:10:10I guess I should tell you.
00:10:12Um...
00:10:15I can tell.
00:10:17Mom inherited some bonds from our great aunt,
00:10:21and when we asked her where she put them, she got really embarrassed and basically...
00:10:26Basically she cashed the bonds, hid the money in the house,
00:10:30and forgot where she put it and never found it again.
00:10:33Last we heard, it was still lost.
00:10:36So that's what we're looking for tonight?
00:10:39Yeah.
00:10:41Look, I told you Mom had a sense of humor.
00:10:44And a bad memory. Deadly combination, those two.
00:10:47But honey, this is silly.
00:10:49You're gonna be selling this place in a few weeks.
00:10:51Just, it'll turn up then.
00:10:53Honey, do you trust moving men?
00:10:55When you move, you don't find things, you lose them.
00:10:58I just want to do this while we still have the place to ourselves.
00:11:02But why do we have to look tonight?
00:11:05I think because she knows I'm leaving for Cali tomorrow.
00:11:08I'll share it with all you guys.
00:11:12Christ, it'd be hard enough to pack up all this stuff,
00:11:15but now we're looking for something?
00:11:17Needle in a haystack!
00:11:20Where do you think it might be?
00:11:22That's a good question, considering she herself didn't know.
00:11:27Alright, how long do we have to stay until?
00:11:29As long as you want.
00:11:31Actually, they were closing that street by the highway, remember?
00:11:34Oh yeah, Washington Avenue is closed until 6am for construction.
00:11:38Ugh.
00:11:39Did you by any chance have that in mind all along?
00:11:43Maybe.
00:11:44But look, let's just try it out and by 6am you guys can take off.
00:11:51Sigh.
00:11:53Alright, enough grumbling.
00:11:56There's four of us.
00:11:58Let's just give it a shot.
00:12:20Alright, let's go.
00:12:51Steph, I need a break.
00:12:53Come on, Alex, there's still places to look.
00:12:56Have you ever even seen the money?
00:12:58Nope.
00:13:00We don't even know what we're looking for and this heat just isn't helping.
00:13:10Hey, what's up?
00:13:11Hey, what's up?
00:13:12Hey, what's up?
00:13:13Hey, what's up?
00:13:14Hey, what's up?
00:13:15Hey, what's up?
00:13:16Hey, what's up?
00:13:17Hey, what's up?
00:13:18Hey, what's up?
00:13:19Hey, what's up?
00:13:27I think—no, yeah, I'm definitely getting tired.
00:13:31Yeah.
00:13:32Let's hold on one more hour, because then she's gonna get tired and she's gonna realize how crazy this is.
00:13:37I can't believe I let you talk me into this.
00:13:39All for your friggin' girlfriend.
00:13:40I told you she had a sister!
00:13:42Yeah, you didn't tell me she'd be a bitch, though.
00:13:49What's going on?
00:13:57Hold on, let me check. Ow! The street lights are out.
00:14:03God, you cannot tell me there's a blackout right now.
00:14:06Yep, I think you gotta circle that answer. What the hell, it's not even bad weather outside.
00:14:11Mom said there was one like this five years ago, probably just at some plant.
00:14:14Did your mom have flashlights? Yep.
00:14:18Damn it!
00:14:35Here, take this one.
00:14:38Damn it, I think this means my flight's going to be cancelled tomorrow.
00:14:42I'm going to call the airline. If I know anything about the horror genre,
00:14:47and I do, phones will be out.
00:14:54None.
00:15:08And she told me she enjoyed it.
00:15:12She looked right at me, and she said,
00:15:16I like you. You remind me of that guy from YouTube.
00:15:20Jeff, nobody really wants to hear your girl exploits.
00:15:23Speak for yourself, Brucie.
00:15:26I think I should make more coffee.
00:15:28The hell with that, Steph. I don't think the power's coming back on tonight.
00:15:32It might. They have round-the-clock people for emergencies like this.
00:15:37Whatever, I just think we should go to bed.
00:15:39Uh, I don't know if you guys noticed, but there's only one bed in there,
00:15:42and it's not big enough for all of us, so...
00:15:45No, no, no, no, no. If you two think you're getting the bed because you're the couple,
00:15:49you are wildly mistaken.
00:15:51Guys, wait. Don't you want to look for the money?
00:15:57Scratch that one.
00:15:59Baby, don't be mad. Money would be nice, but we're just not going to find it tonight.
00:16:03So that's it? You guys are just going to give up after a few minutes?
00:16:06Come on. I told you guys, this is the last chance to really look for the money before we sell the place.
00:16:11Steph, did it ever occur to you that the moving men might need the money more than we do?
00:16:16You've never been generous.
00:16:19Times change.
00:16:21Oh, so you've seen the light, eh?
00:16:23When's the last time you even spoke to me before Mom died?
00:16:27What?
00:16:28How long?
00:16:30How long's it been?
00:16:33I don't know. Christmas? Then maybe summer before?
00:16:37Exactly. So if you ever took the time to get to know me a little better,
00:16:41you'd know that I'm actually a pretty generous person.
00:16:44Julia always says whenever you lose something, someone probably needs it more than we do.
00:16:49Cute. Well, before you got saved by Julia, I don't really think that was your philosophy.
00:16:54God, all you two ever do is fight. Maybe we should go back to dancing.
00:16:58That's a great way to put somebody's eye out.
00:17:00Let's just go to sleep.
00:17:03Oh, you guys suck.
00:17:04I get the bed.
00:17:06Jeff, don't take this the wrong way, but you're a complete stranger, and you're not sleeping in my mother's bed.
00:17:12I'm perfectly fine just sleeping right here.
00:17:16I'll do that too. If my flight's not canceled, knock on wood.
00:17:22I'll just get my sleep on the plane. Julia always says she gets her best sleep on planes.
00:17:27Goddammit, would you shut up about Julia? It's like you're in love with her.
00:17:32Yeah, I love Julia as a friend.
00:17:41No, wait a minute. You do love her. You have a little crush.
00:17:46In fact, now that I think about it, every time you've been on a trip, it's been with her.
00:17:51I think you'd better drop that.
00:17:53No, I think you should tell me about it.
00:17:55No, no, I just think it's cute that you have a little crush.
00:17:59My life isn't your business, got that?
00:18:02Alex, you're cutting me!
00:18:04Hey, hey, get off my girlfriend!
00:18:09Are you hurt?
00:18:10Her nails stabbed me.
00:18:12This is getting so trippy.
00:18:14Shut up, Jeff.
00:18:18I'm fine. I just...
00:18:21Yeah, she's always been very private about her personal life.
00:18:25I feel like I know her a little better.
00:18:28I'll get you something for that.
00:18:30No, I'll go.
00:18:34This is Mom's chemical box. She used to be a chemist back when she studied.
00:18:39So your mom collected chemicals and White Castle cheeseburgers.
00:18:42I do believe we are just scratching the surface of a secret life here.
00:18:46What's in that chemical box?
00:18:48Uh, three things. Alcohol, cough syrup, and liquid ammonia.
00:18:54There's a combination you don't hear every day.
00:18:57I must have missed this when I was looking through the bathroom earlier.
00:18:59Did you look through the whole bathroom?
00:19:02Yeah, I'll come back on Monday and help you look.
00:19:05But you're working.
00:19:08I got laid off.
00:19:09What?
00:19:10No, Bruce, don't.
00:19:12And so did Jeff.
00:19:13Oh, God.
00:19:14Jeff!
00:19:17But I don't get it. You were just telling me how much your boss liked you.
00:19:20How you impressed him.
00:19:22I do, but it's a small hotel in the middle of nowhere.
00:19:24So when they got a downsize, they got a downsize.
00:19:26Hey, the boss liked me, too. You don't have to brag.
00:19:28Anyway, lowering the overhead meant us.
00:19:30Why didn't you tell me?
00:19:32Because your mom just died, and it's been so frustrating.
00:19:35Like, what am I doing?
00:19:37I'm two years out of college, and I've been wasting them.
00:19:39It's one thing to get fired when you mess up.
00:19:41These last four months have been a waste just because their business is bad.
00:19:44Hey, I'm mad, too, alright?
00:19:46I invested a lot for those people. I put in days, nights, weekends.
00:19:49All to make ends meet.
00:19:52Now they go and take my ends meet away from me.
00:19:54Which is a really good point.
00:19:57Both of you really need the money right now, and here we are looking for a fortune.
00:20:01Yeah, and we haven't found it yet. What are you saying?
00:20:04I just think it would be something if one of you found it while we weren't looking and ceased to mention it.
00:20:10Ha ha, very funny. You realize the same thing could be said about you.
00:20:14What?
00:20:15You've been out of sight, too, for the past few minutes.
00:20:18Yeah, but I don't have the same incentive you do.
00:20:21Maybe you wanted to buy your girlfriend something.
00:20:23Zing! Listen, Steph, I'm sorry I hurt you. I overreacted.
00:20:28Great, thanks. Now I'm stuck in a dark apartment after midnight bleeding to death.
00:20:33Quit acting. You'll live.
00:20:35Anyway, anything you say about Julia is fine.
00:20:39My life's your life.
00:20:45Great. So while you two make up, I'm taking the bed.
00:20:49Hold it! She's got a point.
00:20:51What's that?
00:20:53Well, all three of you are out of my sight. Any one of you could have found the money.
00:20:58Steph, I'm sorry, but if you're going to accuse me, then you're really pushing it.
00:21:02How the hell could I have pocketed any money when I've had my pants off for the past 90 minutes?
00:21:09You can strip search me if you like.
00:21:11Okay, okay. Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to accuse anyone. I should know better.
00:21:19But it did seem odd that the minute the lights went out, the three of you couldn't care less about a big load of cash.
00:21:24Alright, okay. You know what we'll do?
00:21:26Because we're all getting really grumpy and tired and annoyed with the heat.
00:21:29I suggest we combat all three by each taking a little shower.
00:21:33And by then, hopefully the lights will be back up.
00:21:35And you'll see how psyched we can be about finding some money.
00:21:39Okay. So while you three do that, I'm taking the bed.
00:21:43Hey, genius. Instead of just one of us taking the bed, why don't we all go sleep together?
00:21:48Now that's an idea.
00:21:50I meant by the bed.
00:21:52Okay. While you three work that out, I'm going to take the first shower.
00:22:10I can't take this.
00:22:11I thought you were so sleepy.
00:22:13Yeah, well it's hard to sleep with all this tension in the room.
00:22:16She's not such a good bed partner, is she?
00:22:18Apparently neither are you.
00:22:20What was that?
00:22:22Hold on, Alex. Why don't we just talk about this?
00:22:24Talk about what? Did I have a gay crush?
00:22:26Yeah.
00:22:28Does that make you uncomfortable?
00:22:30No. Does talking about it make you uncomfortable?
00:22:32Kinda.
00:22:34This reminds me of a joke.
00:22:36Jeff, is this going to be another one of your stupid gags?
00:22:39No, no, no. That girl who told me I look like the guy from YouTube? She told me this one.
00:22:43Yeah, she's a regular bull too.
00:22:46What does a gay cow say?
00:22:51What?
00:22:55Hay.
00:23:00I think you've talked enough.
00:23:02Jeff, that joke didn't even make sense.
00:23:04Because cows eat hay?
00:23:06Yeah, I picked that up.
00:23:09What I don't get is why your cow is a stereotypical gay man.
00:23:11Cows are female.
00:23:13Yeah, but this cow is male.
00:23:17Then it's a bull.
00:23:21No, but in the world of the joke, the cow is male.
00:23:27So the audience of your joke needs to know that you're in some sci-fi fictional world?
00:23:33Um, I said gay.
00:23:35Um, I said gay cow.
00:23:41Then I assumed it's a lesbian cow.
00:23:44No, the cow is not a lesbian. The cow is gay.
00:23:49Now see, that is a sentence I never thought I would hear.
00:23:52A woman can be called gay as well.
00:23:54Yes, but when I hear that someone is gay, I associate that with male homosexuality, not female.
00:24:03Why don't you just avoid this whole gender dispute by saying a gay bull?
00:24:06Because bulls don't eat hay.
00:24:08Actually, come to think of it, do cows even eat hay?
00:24:11See, I think that might just be horses.
00:24:13Christ, this joke really backfired on me.
00:24:17Next.
00:24:19I'll go.
00:24:21I'm getting booed off stage here.
00:24:26So Steph, when you hear a gay cow, what does that make you think of?
00:24:31Did you just call me sister cow?
00:24:33No, no, no.
00:24:35I know exactly what he's talking about.
00:24:49Okay, would you guys tell your mom to stop haunting this house?
00:24:54You know, I barely saw mom during Christmas.
00:24:57Yeah, what happened?
00:24:59I don't know.
00:25:01Mother-daughter junk.
00:25:03Guess it'll never get worked out now.
00:25:05And no, it had nothing to do with my crush.
00:25:07Favorite topic of the evening.
00:25:11You know, how she always used to say,
00:25:13I'm so incorrigible.
00:25:17I was incorrigible.
00:25:19I got that from her.
00:25:21In college, I had all these friends,
00:25:23both male and female.
00:25:25Don't get any ideas.
00:25:28Remember what I used to do during my breaks?
00:25:32Yeah, you stopped coming home
00:25:34for Christmas or Thanksgiving or whatever,
00:25:36found someone else to spend it with.
00:25:39And it wasn't even anything against mom.
00:25:42I wasn't even mad at her.
00:25:44They were like my family.
00:25:47This was even pre-Julia.
00:25:49This was Doug, Mark, and Mia.
00:25:52Now they're just somewhere.
00:25:54I don't even know where.
00:25:57I think Mark's in Connecticut
00:25:59and Doug's somewhere up north.
00:26:01Yeah, boo-hoo.
00:26:03So you got post-college depression
00:26:05and you miss your friends.
00:26:07So does everybody.
00:26:09There's no reason to leave your family.
00:26:11Don't.
00:26:13No, wait, I deserve that.
00:26:15You've even been nice enough to come out
00:26:17and help your girlfriend through this tough time.
00:26:19And it wasn't even your mom who died.
00:26:21And you've just gotten laid.
00:26:23What?
00:26:25I was going to say laid off.
00:26:27And then I stopped at laid
00:26:29and it was funnier.
00:26:31Have you, though?
00:26:33What?
00:26:35Slept together?
00:26:37That's an inappropriate question to ask anybody,
00:26:39let alone a family member.
00:26:41Uh, Bruce, she knows.
00:26:43I told her on the phone.
00:26:45What?
00:26:47We're girls, we talk about this stuff.
00:26:49I just wanted to see what you'd say.
00:26:51Thanks, genius, for calling me bluff.
00:26:54All right, who's up?
00:26:56I kept it quick, there isn't much hot water.
00:26:58I'll go.
00:27:00So Voltaire's back.
00:27:02Or her boyfriend, I mean.
00:27:04What's wrong with you?
00:27:06What?
00:27:08You're chewing everyone out like you've got something
00:27:10to be defensive about.
00:27:12And please, don't give me another soliloquy
00:27:14about your college friends.
00:27:16I fight back when everyone gangs up on me.
00:27:18And anyway, what was your deal with Mom?
00:27:20Nothing. Perfect daughter.
00:27:23You were always insecure with her.
00:27:25I guess so.
00:27:27She put tons of pressure on both of us.
00:27:29But frankly, it didn't affect me.
00:27:31I wiped my ass of her.
00:27:33Quite well, I might add.
00:27:35But you, you put up with her.
00:27:37She drove your boyfriends away,
00:27:39and that's why you never introduced this one to her.
00:27:41And now, you're perky,
00:27:43because she died,
00:27:45and you want to look for money.
00:27:47Are you done?
00:27:49Guess so.
00:27:51You know, if I believed you,
00:27:53I'd be offended by all the crackpot logic
00:27:55spewing out of you.
00:27:57But I don't, because I know you.
00:27:59And you've always been tough,
00:28:01but you're just as insecure as I am.
00:28:03You know how to get under my skin.
00:28:05Bravo.
00:28:07You know, I thought we'd do something
00:28:09together this weekend,
00:28:11since we never see each other.
00:28:13Don't worry.
00:28:15I learned my lesson.
00:28:18Boo!
00:28:20You call this a catfight?
00:28:22What catfight?
00:28:24You two have been in each other's throats
00:28:26all night. Fight already!
00:28:28We have more class than that.
00:28:30Yeah, we're sisters.
00:28:32We really love each other under all this hostility.
00:28:34Well, we'll see about that.
00:28:36Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
00:28:38All I know is there's a long night
00:28:40ahead of us, and this fight,
00:28:42it's not over.
00:28:44That's for certain.
00:28:47It might not be, but I think I hit the nail
00:28:49right on the head with you, Steph.
00:28:51Well, since you're so critical, what is your advice?
00:28:53My advice to you, and to Jeff,
00:28:55and to Bruce,
00:28:57is get your heads out of the toilet
00:28:59and realize that life happens.
00:29:01Mothers die,
00:29:03boyfriends get fired,
00:29:05and people drink champagne.
00:29:07Good things happen, and bad things happen.
00:29:09There's no real way life
00:29:11is supposed to be.
00:29:13Thank you for the Ferris Bueller monologue.
00:29:15No, it's true.
00:29:17Maybe I've been a bitch tonight,
00:29:19but out of all of you,
00:29:21I'm the only one happy.
00:29:23Amen.
00:29:29Guess I'm up.
00:29:39She's nuts.
00:29:42What happened?
00:29:44My sister just humiliated me
00:29:46by showing what a complete whack job she is.
00:29:48I thought you said this was going to be a fun night.
00:29:50Did I say that?
00:29:52Yeah, you did, Bruce.
00:29:54Oh, Jeff, come on over.
00:29:56Help me and my girlfriend move her dead mom's stuff.
00:29:58It'll be totally awesome.
00:30:00We'll spend the whole night just chit-chatting away,
00:30:02eating and drinking and having a good time.
00:30:04Yeah, it's been a real trip to the fun house, thanks.
00:30:06Well, I didn't know the lights were going to go out.
00:30:08Everything was just fine before that happened.
00:30:11You change when you're marooned like this in the dark.
00:30:13You change. It's like being in the jungle.
00:30:15This place is about as filthy as the jungle.
00:30:17You think it's the dark that's turning my sister into a bitch?
00:30:19Well, let me give you a good example.
00:30:21Jeff, you may want to cover your ears for this.
00:30:23No, there's no covering ears here.
00:30:25I mean, Alex already humiliated me in front of him,
00:30:27so what humiliating thing could you have to say?
00:30:29Baby, calm down.
00:30:31I'm waiting.
00:30:33Okay, so let's just say this.
00:30:35Would you ever sell your body?
00:30:37No, absolutely not.
00:30:40Okay, but now imagine that you're broke, homeless,
00:30:42and whatever, you name it.
00:30:44Now would you?
00:30:46I'm sure plenty of homeless people
00:30:48face that conundrum every day.
00:30:50But would you?
00:30:52No.
00:30:54Would you?
00:30:56Are you kidding? I don't even need to be homeless.
00:30:58The point is, when you're living in the dark, you change.
00:31:00You didn't prove anything.
00:31:02Jeff didn't have any morals to begin with,
00:31:04and I did.
00:31:06Well, you wait a couple more hours in the dark,
00:31:08and see if your answer changes.
00:31:10Let's say you're right.
00:31:12What bothers me is
00:31:14the best example you can come up with
00:31:16is one that degrades women.
00:31:18I don't see how it's degrading to women.
00:31:20Would you sell your body to a man?
00:31:24Now you see my point.
00:31:30Hi, gang.
00:31:32I think we're all awake now.
00:31:34Fantastic.
00:31:37I'm out of here.
00:31:45Where are you going?
00:31:47Face it, Steph.
00:31:49The lights aren't coming back on anytime soon.
00:31:51We're not going to find a treasure chest in all this junk.
00:31:53I don't even want to know what's living in that kitchen.
00:31:55And I'm sick of hanging around here
00:31:57with all this Tennessee Williams stuff.
00:32:03And the fact that your mom
00:32:06is haunting the place right now?
00:32:08Really not helping.
00:32:10Yeah, but you can't go home, though.
00:32:12Remember, Washington Avenue is closed till 6 a.m.
00:32:14I'll get a motel room and get some sleep.
00:32:16You know, honey, that doesn't sound like that bad of an idea.
00:32:18Yeah, but all the motels around here
00:32:20will be part of the blackout, too.
00:32:22I will walk five towns over if I have to.
00:32:24Wait.
00:32:26I know I've been really difficult tonight
00:32:28to all three of you, and I'm sorry.
00:32:30But going out driving in the middle of the night
00:32:32with all the lights out is probably not the best idea.
00:32:34Let's go down here and stay the night.
00:32:36Let's call a truce.
00:32:38Nope.
00:32:40Wait.
00:32:42She's right.
00:32:44And we owe it to staff to at least look for this money
00:32:46until 6 a.m.
00:32:48This night's going to put us all in therapy.
00:32:50Look, I don't have a job, and come tomorrow,
00:32:52I have no idea what I'm doing for the rest of my life.
00:32:54I don't want to sound greedy,
00:32:56but, you know, I could use a little money.
00:32:58So I'd prefer if we didn't leave here
00:33:00until we found it.
00:33:03When you say that you got fired,
00:33:05you do remind me that I was fired, too.
00:33:07All right.
00:33:09Let's keep searching.
00:33:33All right.
00:33:35Enough putting off the inevitable.
00:33:37What?
00:33:39The books.
00:33:41The books?
00:33:43Yeah.
00:33:45The books.
00:33:47The books.
00:33:49The books.
00:33:51The books.
00:33:53The books.
00:33:55The books.
00:33:57The books.
00:33:59The books.
00:34:02That's more of a mom thing,
00:34:04to hide her things in her books.
00:34:06I knew this was coming.
00:34:31I knew this was coming.
00:35:01How convenient of your mother
00:35:03to have collected every single book under the sun.
00:35:05It wasn't her fault.
00:35:07Mom had a boyfriend for a while
00:35:09who used to give her books.
00:35:11She used to joke it was a compulsion.
00:35:13So in short,
00:35:15your mother collected books,
00:35:17chemicals,
00:35:19and White Castle cheeseburgers.
00:35:21And dill.
00:35:23And dill.
00:35:25And dill.
00:35:27And dill.
00:35:29And cheeseburgers.
00:35:31And dillas.
00:35:33Don't forget my dillas.
00:35:35Well,
00:35:37she did live here for twelve years.
00:35:39It's part of the American experience.
00:35:41Collecting a lot of stuff.
00:35:43Twelve years?
00:35:45Jeez.
00:35:47That's more than half my life.
00:35:49Let's close the book on that chapter.
00:35:51No pun intended stuff.
00:35:53No, but,
00:35:55I mean,
00:35:57and, I don't know,
00:35:59that window over there is
00:36:01where I first became religious.
00:36:03A window made you religious?
00:36:13When dawn comes, you'll see what I mean.
00:36:15Christ, here comes another sermon.
00:36:17I mean, it's not like it happened one day
00:36:19and I got saved, but
00:36:21just years and years
00:36:23of walking by this window
00:36:25every morning when the light shines in.
00:36:29Little rays, you know?
00:36:31Beams.
00:36:33Golden beams.
00:36:35Like someone wants to shine in on you.
00:36:39It made me wonder why we had
00:36:41day and night and
00:36:43and green and brown
00:36:45and
00:36:47leaves on the trees
00:36:49and the smell.
00:36:51Just a sweet,
00:36:53wild and lonely smell that just
00:36:55just gets in your mind.
00:36:59Made me want to climb mountains.
00:37:03Well,
00:37:05when dawn comes, you'll see what I mean.
00:37:13That's not really being religious, Seth.
00:37:15What?
00:37:17You had a quasi-mystical
00:37:19response to nature.
00:37:21I've had that too.
00:37:23It makes you wonder what life's about.
00:37:25Why you're here.
00:37:27You just don't understand.
00:37:29No, I do.
00:37:31Do you know what nirvana is?
00:37:33And yes,
00:37:35rest in peace, Cobain.
00:37:37That's not the nirvana I'm referring to.
00:37:39I mean the nirvana in Buddhism.
00:37:41I'm not Buddhist.
00:37:43It's a state of not wanting anything.
00:37:45Complete bliss.
00:37:47You had your nirvana.
00:37:49You had two sects of Buddhism, right?
00:37:51Yeah, I studied all this in college.
00:37:53The first one sees Buddha sort of
00:37:55as a teacher, someone to follow.
00:37:57And the other one more as a god.
00:37:59Someone to worship.
00:38:01I mean, people just really like having gods.
00:38:03You just haven't experienced what I have.
00:38:05Oh yeah.
00:38:07You've testified to the Holy Spirit.
00:38:09Very much.
00:38:11Yeah, so tell me this.
00:38:13Why are you having sex with your boyfriend over here?
00:38:15You're just a harpy about sex, aren't you?
00:38:17No, no.
00:38:19I'm cool. I'm real cool.
00:38:21Alright, alright, alright. How about this?
00:38:23How about no more repressed hostility?
00:38:25From now on, why don't we all just
00:38:27speak openly?
00:38:29Yeah, if somebody asks you a question about sex, you just answer it.
00:38:31That's not exactly
00:38:33what I meant.
00:38:35No, I'll answer your question, Alex.
00:38:37Making love can be very romantic.
00:38:39And I happen to be
00:38:41in love with Bruce.
00:38:43Yeah, adorable, but from a dogmatic point of view?
00:38:45Yes, you're right.
00:38:47Lust is considered wrong, but
00:38:49I disagree with that.
00:38:51It's unrealistic to tell a couple not to have sex.
00:38:53I mean, we've all been in serious
00:38:55relationships, right?
00:38:57You just...
00:38:59That has nothing to do with what I experienced by the window.
00:39:01Exactly. Spirituality and dogmatic religion
00:39:03have nothing to do with nothing.
00:39:05And you've proven that, just as sure as you are horny.
00:39:07You're being way too clinical here.
00:39:09Who was your first lay?
00:39:11What?
00:39:13Who was your first lay?
00:39:15Okay, well, if we're gonna volunteer
00:39:17our sexual histories here, you're next.
00:39:19Fair game.
00:39:21Okay. I've only ever slept with Stephanie.
00:39:25Could you get it up the first time?
00:39:27Okay, you stoop to a new low.
00:39:29Okay.
00:39:31How many people have you had sex with?
00:39:33Zero. What?
00:39:35I've never had sex with
00:39:37anyone, male or female.
00:39:39Really? But Alex, you're older
00:39:41than I am. What can I say? I've been
00:39:43confused. Yeah, you're a
00:39:45basket case. You haven't said a single thing that's
00:39:47made sense all night. I guess I'm having a
00:39:49lesbian cow moment. I still don't
00:39:51get what that means. Would you stop making
00:39:53fun of my joke? I forgot
00:39:55you were even here, Jeff. Oh, no.
00:39:57You stay right there. You are one vicious
00:39:59bitch. I'm playing nice.
00:40:01I haven't yelled at you at all in two hours.
00:40:03I mean it. You stay right
00:40:05there. Did it ever occur to you that your
00:40:07joke is offensive to both lesbians
00:40:09and cattle?
00:40:11Well, if you were openly gay, I would understand
00:40:13maybe why you take such issue with, like,
00:40:15this mindless joke, but you don't even know who you
00:40:17are. What's that supposed to mean?
00:40:19It means you're in the closet, and you're too confused
00:40:21to know even how far back.
00:40:23He's right, Alex. You are deep in
00:40:25the closet. You are so far
00:40:27back, you're where the snow and the lamppost
00:40:29are. That's a wardrobe-o-literary
00:40:31scholar. The point
00:40:33being, are
00:40:35you a lessee or not?
00:40:37I don't know. I haven't really thought about it.
00:40:39Oh, please. I don't buy that for a second.
00:40:41What, are you going to assault me now,
00:40:43like you assaulted your sister?
00:40:45Is that going to happen every time we talk about this?
00:40:47I've just never put much thought into it.
00:40:49Well, you sure have put a lot of thought into everything else,
00:40:51like how to break all three of us.
00:40:53Maybe you're the one who can't get it up.
00:40:55Really, genius? I can't get it up?
00:40:57Do I need to teach you about the female anatomy?
00:40:59Or were you too busy not getting that
00:41:01while you were doing my sister?
00:41:03No. He's right. You've
00:41:05never done it, and your one crush is
00:41:07unattainable. You're the impotent one.
00:41:11Well.
00:41:13Checkmate?
00:41:17Man, I should feel vindictive
00:41:19now, but I just feel awkward.
00:41:23How about we make friends?
00:41:25No, I don't trust any of you.
00:41:27Particularly you. Why, because I told
00:41:29a stupid joke? Yes.
00:41:31Whoa.
00:41:33Okay, there is
00:41:35definitely some kind of ghost in here.
00:41:39What's your Julia, Jeff?
00:41:41What?
00:41:43You're not making any sense.
00:41:45Sorry, lesbian cow moment.
00:41:47But no, I'm asking a serious question.
00:41:49What's your Julia?
00:41:51We all know what my Julia is.
00:41:53It's been exposed for the whole world to see.
00:41:55But what's your Julia?
00:41:59I know what it is.
00:42:01It's not just one girl. It's the whole lot of them.
00:42:05It's because you can't get any.
00:42:07What? What are you talking about?
00:42:09You're not making any sense.
00:42:11You look like the guy on YouTube is the best you could get.
00:42:13And I've heard these aren't even the most successful
00:42:15of your exploits.
00:42:17So in truth, you're no different than me.
00:42:19Dumber?
00:42:21Yes. Lacking in personal sanitation?
00:42:23Yes.
00:42:25But sexually quite impotent.
00:42:27So I think you should join me on the floor of shame over here.
00:42:29Jeff is nowhere near as bad as you.
00:42:31Well, I like to think of biting wit as a virtue.
00:42:35Unless you mean that somehow
00:42:37I should be ashamed of having a gay crush.
00:42:39Oh, well, at least you're actually saying the word now.
00:42:41What do you know?
00:42:43You men walk around with your shirts and pants off
00:42:45and think that you're entitled to everything on earth.
00:42:49Wow.
00:42:51I guess it's true what they say about lesbians hating men.
00:42:53Oh, believe me, sweetie,
00:42:55that part of my personality has been in play
00:42:57long ago.
00:43:01So...
00:43:03should we go back to looking for the money?
00:43:05You and your stupid money.
00:43:07I never want to hear the word money again
00:43:09after tonight.
00:43:11Look, we're all cranky from lack of sleep.
00:43:13Therefore,
00:43:15I suggest we all take a nap.
00:43:17It'll be daylight in a few hours anyway.
00:43:19I have a flight to catch tomorrow.
00:43:21Unless it's canceled.
00:43:23Maybe they'll let me keep the rental card for another day.
00:43:25Maybe they'll tell you where to put it.
00:43:27What was that?
00:43:29I said, maybe they'll tell you where to get...
00:43:31I'm sorry, I was just having a lesbian cow moment.
00:43:37Well, I'm going to take a nap.
00:43:39I don't even care about the bed.
00:43:41Here, here.
00:43:43Come on.
00:43:55I'm really not that tired.
00:43:57I mean,
00:43:59I knew we'd be up tonight.
00:44:01Well, we had enough of an adventure tonight.
00:44:07Look,
00:44:09I guess I should apologize
00:44:11for my sister.
00:44:13What the holy hell is wrong with her?
00:44:15I don't know.
00:44:17I mean, I knew she was aggressive,
00:44:19but I've never seen her lash out
00:44:21at a complete stranger like that.
00:44:23I guess he really hit a nerve tonight.
00:44:25Well, you started it.
00:44:27You were the one who spotted the crush.
00:44:35I can't sleep.
00:44:37This bed is uncomfortable.
00:44:39Fine, don't sleep. Just let me rest.
00:44:43I know one thing we like to do
00:44:45when we can't sleep.
00:44:47Eh, but tonight's probably not the best night for that.
00:44:49I'll change that in a few seconds.
00:44:53Okay.
00:44:59Okay.
00:45:17Close your eyes.
00:45:23Okay.
00:45:31Is that what I think it is?
00:45:33Yep.
00:45:35What are you doing?
00:45:37Did you find the money?
00:45:39You're kidding me.
00:45:41Did you find the money and not tell me?
00:45:43With all due respect, you have a good motive for not doing so.
00:45:45You know that's not possible.
00:45:47Where would I hide it? In my ass?
00:45:49I just want to be sure.
00:45:51Gotcha.
00:45:53Gotcha.
00:45:55Okay.
00:45:57You made me wet myself.
00:45:59That's great. Thanks.
00:46:01You know, I know you're not going to murder me, though.
00:46:03Oh, yeah?
00:46:05Because you're too religious.
00:46:07Yeah, well, what can I say?
00:46:09Being in the dark changes your morals.
00:46:13So?
00:46:15You going to tell me what's going on?
00:46:21No.
00:46:27You know Homer left me?
00:46:29Yeah, like seven months ago.
00:46:31My, like, excess baggage?
00:46:33No, you're great.
00:46:35It's just...
00:46:37He took everything.
00:46:39It's like...
00:46:41I got home one day and...
00:46:43And him and half my stuff were gone.
00:46:45And he never answered his phone again.
00:46:47He even took my cello.
00:46:49He even took my cello,
00:46:51which he doesn't play.
00:46:53Just to hurt me, I guess.
00:46:57I could really use the money right now.
00:46:59And it doesn't help that
00:47:01I hate my job
00:47:03and my boss.
00:47:05That bitch makes me get on the floor
00:47:07to fix the firewire cables.
00:47:09I mean,
00:47:11I wish...
00:47:13I wish my boss was a Julia, you know?
00:47:15Like,
00:47:17if she paid me, gave me the respect I deserve,
00:47:19sure, I'd fall in love with the dicks.
00:47:21So that's what you want, the money?
00:47:23Yes.
00:47:25Damn it, I have a bachelor's.
00:47:27I mean, I shouldn't be running office errands
00:47:29and fixing cables.
00:47:31I want to quit
00:47:33and start writing again.
00:47:35I feel trapped, you know?
00:47:37Like...
00:47:39Like I'm the one that can't get it up.
00:47:41Well, that's how you feel that way.
00:47:43You know, everybody's first job sucks.
00:47:45I know.
00:47:47But what's the point?
00:47:49They don't give you a position to move up to.
00:47:51Well, you certainly are
00:47:53your sister's sister.
00:47:55I don't know what that means,
00:47:57but I have a feeling you're right.
00:47:59I mean, you can both get angry.
00:48:01You're both dramatic.
00:48:03You'd both kill me to prove a point.
00:48:07That's just our sense of humor.
00:48:09We definitely inherited that from Mom.
00:48:11Yeah, I think you've inherited
00:48:13more than you'd like to share.
00:48:15But anyway, it doesn't matter.
00:48:19Sorry about your job.
00:48:21You didn't deserve that.
00:48:23I know, that's exactly what my boss said,
00:48:25which just made it sting even worse.
00:48:27But anyway,
00:48:29I guess
00:48:31I can take some pleasure lying here
00:48:33reminiscing about how much
00:48:35life sucks.
00:48:37The problem is,
00:48:39what do you do when you have to get up?
00:48:41I don't know.
00:48:45You know, I feel like I've known you a lot longer
00:48:47than however many months you said it was.
00:48:49Five.
00:48:51Yeah.
00:48:53You're a lot wiser than your years.
00:48:55That's complimented by your sister.
00:48:57What's that mean?
00:48:59Well,
00:49:01that I wondered about you.
00:49:03Well,
00:49:05if it makes you feel any better,
00:49:07you're all I have.
00:49:09I mean,
00:49:11I'm sure we won't see much of Alex after tonight,
00:49:13so
00:49:15you're the only person I'm close to.
00:49:19But,
00:49:21you've been good to me.
00:49:23More like a husband than a boyfriend,
00:49:25you know.
00:49:27Boyfriends come and go,
00:49:29and then one day when
00:49:31you're at a friend's house,
00:49:33they come over and steal your friggin' cello.
00:49:35Oh.
00:49:37Hmm.
00:49:39I'm sure if I had a cello, you wouldn't steal it.
00:49:43Oh, I don't know.
00:49:45What I do know
00:49:47is
00:49:49that life is not a fairy tale.
00:49:51It's been a hard pill to swallow
00:49:53coming from someone who grew up
00:49:55renaming Jane Austen.
00:49:57Oh, I'd like to think I'm not as bad as all that.
00:49:59You're not.
00:50:01Hey.
00:50:07Why'd you tell your sister
00:50:09about us?
00:50:11What?
00:50:13You know, that we did it.
00:50:15Like you don't tell your guy friends.
00:50:17Yeah, but they're not gonna grill you in your face
00:50:19because you couldn't get it up.
00:50:21You did have trouble getting it up at first.
00:50:23Yeah, I know.
00:50:25I mean, it's okay.
00:50:27You just gotta learn the ropes.
00:50:29You stimulate the little guy.
00:50:31He's kinda cute in retrospect.
00:50:33Yeah, he was.
00:50:37Hey, you know, it wouldn't have been the easiest honeymoon
00:50:39if we'd have waited.
00:50:41Sex has been good for me.
00:50:43I hope it's been good for you, too.
00:50:51Do you think we'll ever get married?
00:50:53You can't ask a question like that after five months.
00:50:55Ugh, I'm not proposing.
00:50:57I just want to see
00:50:59if you could see it working.
00:51:03Honestly?
00:51:05No.
00:51:07Not right now. It's not because I don't care about you,
00:51:09because I do, but it's just like
00:51:11I don't think we're mature.
00:51:13Well,
00:51:15that's kind of my point.
00:51:17That we,
00:51:19all four of us, are not yet mature.
00:51:21What do you mean, immature?
00:51:23No, there's a difference.
00:51:25I mean,
00:51:27I agree with you.
00:51:29I don't want to be a wife,
00:51:31and I love you,
00:51:33and I'm glad we're here
00:51:35sharing a moment.
00:51:39A moment where I say
00:51:41I don't think I'm going to marry you?
00:51:43No,
00:51:45a moment of honesty.
00:51:49Fine.
00:51:51Fair enough.
00:51:53I guess then.
00:51:59Ah!
00:52:01Whoa.
00:52:03Ah!
00:52:09What is it?
00:52:11Someone hit me.
00:52:13Hello? I've been right here the whole time.
00:52:15What do you mean, hit?
00:52:17Okay, maybe not like hit,
00:52:19but grazed me.
00:52:21Jeff, do you honestly think it was me?
00:52:25No.
00:52:27I guess it couldn't have been you.
00:52:29I opened my eyes right after it happened.
00:52:31You were sitting right there, so that wouldn't make sense.
00:52:33I don't know. I wouldn't put it past Alex
00:52:35to feel up a random person and then jump back.
00:52:37Enough. Look, there's like a ghost in here.
00:52:39Stop saying that. You've been saying that all night.
00:52:41Does it not strike you guys there's something a little off
00:52:43in this house and has been ever since we got here?
00:52:45Maybe you've been in the dark too much.
00:52:47No. No, no, no, no, no.
00:52:49There is a ghost here. Look at this. I'm bleeding.
00:52:51You did that just now, you nimrod.
00:52:53Look, you're squeezing it.
00:52:55Does it really hurt that bad?
00:52:57I mean, I already got assaulted tonight.
00:52:59Wasn't by a ghost, though.
00:53:01Yes, it hurts. I have a wound.
00:53:03Maybe this ghost
00:53:05is the patron saint
00:53:07of lesbian cows.
00:53:11Come on.
00:53:13I'll tend to it.
00:53:19I've always hated this bathroom.
00:53:21Me, too.
00:53:23I think some of my first drinks were in here.
00:53:25A little vodka in high school.
00:53:27Every time you visited Mom,
00:53:29you always asked to go to the bathroom.
00:53:31Yeah. Most of my memories of that toilet
00:53:33are of throwing up in it.
00:53:35Hi, my name is Jeff, and I'm bleeding.
00:53:37Wait a second.
00:53:39Here's the alcohol
00:53:41and the cough syrup.
00:53:43Where's the liquid ammonia?
00:53:45I'm dead serious.
00:53:47It's liquid ammonia. It's a chemical.
00:53:49It's dangerous.
00:53:51Well, I didn't take it.
00:53:53Neither did I.
00:53:55You all showered in here.
00:53:57You were all alone in the bathroom.
00:53:59I mean, unless we showered in the ammonia,
00:54:01I don't know where it would have gone.
00:54:03You can check our pockets if you want.
00:54:05Steph, why would anyone steal ammonia?
00:54:07Was the money in there or something?
00:54:09No, it obviously wouldn't have fit.
00:54:11I don't know.
00:54:13It obviously wouldn't have fit.
00:54:15So what's the big deal?
00:54:17The big deal is that
00:54:19it was here a few minutes ago,
00:54:21and the fact that it's missing is a little creepy.
00:54:25And once again,
00:54:27I'm out of here.
00:54:29You're off again?
00:54:33What, so you're going now?
00:54:35I am freaked out enough as it is,
00:54:37and I'm sure that a shrink would find
00:54:39all three of you very special.
00:54:41You don't really think there's a ghost in here, do you?
00:54:43I'm sorry.
00:54:45I'm not shaggy,
00:54:47and I can't be bribed with Scooby Snacks
00:54:49to stay and face a ghost.
00:54:51Zoinks!
00:54:53Wait, Jeff. It's almost 5.
00:54:55Washington Avenue will be open at 6 a.m.
00:54:57There are plenty of other ways
00:54:59to pass an hour.
00:55:01Till 6. That's what you agreed to.
00:55:03This has been
00:55:05the longest night
00:55:07in the history of my life.
00:55:09In one night,
00:55:11I've seen the worst out of all three of you,
00:55:13and I just met you two girls.
00:55:15Hey, man. I haven't been that bad.
00:55:17No, that's right.
00:55:19You're exonerated.
00:55:21Look, I'm bleeding,
00:55:23I'm tired, and I stink.
00:55:25I'm still here.
00:55:27So what do you suggest we do
00:55:29for the remaining hour?
00:55:31Well, we never finished the books.
00:55:33We could give another run at it.
00:55:39Okay.
00:55:41One more hour.
00:55:43All right?
00:55:45Then I'm out of here.
00:55:47See ya.
00:55:57♪♪
00:56:27♪♪
00:56:43Come on.
00:56:58It looks really nice out, guys.
00:57:00You want to go for a walk?
00:57:27Like someone wants to shine in on you.
00:57:29It made me wonder
00:57:31why we had
00:57:33day and night
00:57:35and green and brown
00:57:37and leaves on the trees.
00:57:39Alex.
00:57:41Alex!
00:57:43Alex!
00:57:45Alex!
00:57:47Alex!
00:57:49Alex!
00:57:51Alex!
00:57:53Alex!
00:57:55Alex!
00:57:57Alex!
00:58:09Yeah, of course.
00:58:13I guess a little spirituality
00:58:15can kill you.
00:58:17No, idiots driving around
00:58:19at 6 a.m. can kill you.
00:58:25There we go.
00:58:27Hello?
00:58:29Service.
00:58:31Uh, hi, Susan.
00:58:39Hilton?
00:58:45You...
00:58:47Oh. Wow.
00:58:49Thanks.
00:58:51No cancellations.
00:58:53Guess I'm taking the flight back to Cali.
00:58:55So the weather's good.
00:58:57Everything should be fine.
00:58:59Yes, yes.
00:59:01It won't be exactly the same job,
00:59:03but there's a chance.
00:59:05Uh, what about Jeff?
00:59:07So, uh, I think I'm gonna tell Julia
00:59:09I'm in love with her.
00:59:11Well, we need as many people as we can.
00:59:13The whole office structure is gonna change.
00:59:15That is absolutely amazing.
00:59:17I mean, I know her feelings aren't mutual,
00:59:19but what's the worst that could happen?
00:59:21Well, you never know.
00:59:25It might be a little weird, but
00:59:27maybe it'll help the friendship.
00:59:29What about that girl?
00:59:31What girl?
00:59:33Your friend, Laura?
00:59:37I haven't talked to her
00:59:39in a very long time.
00:59:41I'll do my part if you do yours.
00:59:43Uh...
00:59:45It's not like you're not brave.
00:59:47Okay.
00:59:49All right.
00:59:51Deal.
00:59:55That's amazing.
00:59:57The Hilton just up and bought the Mara in this morning
00:59:59just so suddenly?
01:00:01Well, Bruce, I probably shouldn't be telling you this,
01:00:03but there was a fire here last night.
01:00:05A fire?
01:00:07Relax, no one was hurt.
01:00:09It was in the ballroom in the middle of the night,
01:00:11but it was a blow we didn't need right now.
01:00:13That's incredible.
01:00:15Well, the weird part, and this is really the last thing I can tell you,
01:00:17Bruce, then I gotta go make more calls,
01:00:19but the really weird part is how the fire started.
01:00:21They explained it to me and it was something
01:00:23I didn't understand about an explosion with metal ions,
01:00:25but the bottom line is it all started
01:00:27because of a leak of liquid ammonia
01:00:29and no one has any clue where it came from.
01:00:37The ammonia's still missing. Where could it be?
01:00:39It's the ghost, man, I'm telling you.
01:00:41The ghost went and saved our jobs.
01:00:43For all I know, one of you could have taken
01:00:45the ammonia and started the fire yourself.
01:00:47What?
01:00:49You were both out of sight for quite some time.
01:00:51Oh, oh, yeah,
01:00:53actually, you're right, Alex.
01:00:55I, um, I stole the ammonia,
01:00:57drove two hours all the way to the hotel,
01:00:59started the fire, drove two hours
01:01:01all the way back, and then those
01:01:03four hours I was gone, nobody noticed?
01:01:05Well, whatever.
01:01:11Thank you, Ghost Mom.
01:01:13You're here.
01:01:19Well, this has been a great night
01:01:21of accomplishing nothing.
01:01:23I guess the last half hour worked out, though.
01:01:27You guys got your jobs back
01:01:29and I almost died.
01:01:33Now I've got a plane to catch.
01:01:35And I've got a job.
01:01:37I almost died.
01:01:39Now I've got a plane to catch.
01:01:41Bye, sis.
01:01:47She's such a good girl, guys,
01:01:49isn't she?
01:01:51Goodbye, Stephanie.
01:01:53It was nice meeting you.
01:01:55Bye.
01:01:57I'll take a long nap when I get home,
01:01:59but I'll call you as soon as I regain consciousness, okay?
01:02:01Thank you, sweetie.
01:02:03Well,
01:02:05I guess you guys have to drive off towards the highway,
01:02:07don't you?
01:02:09Sorry I gave you guys so much
01:02:11grief tonight. Especially you, Jeff.
01:02:13You're a good person.
01:02:15And valiant.
01:02:17Blah, blah, blah. Basically,
01:02:19I saved your ass.
01:02:21Yeah, thank you.
01:02:23Ain't no thang but a chicken wang.
01:02:27Take good care
01:02:29of her.
01:02:33Bye.
01:02:37Steph, I almost forgot.
01:02:39You have to give a speech, sweetie.
01:02:41Just like Mom did.
01:02:43She wouldn't let any visitors leave before she gave a speech.
01:02:49Alright then,
01:02:51I guess I'll make one.
01:02:57My dear friends,
01:02:59over the last three years,
01:03:01I've lost everything.
01:03:05My friends are all gone.
01:03:09Now my mom's gone.
01:03:13But it's like I said before,
01:03:17life happens.
01:03:21There's no way that it's supposed to be.
01:03:27I'm getting older now,
01:03:29and the best thing I could do is let
01:03:31other people live their lives.
01:03:33Find my own peace.
01:03:37Now this place,
01:03:41this place is the only link I have to my past.
01:03:45But it's also Memento in a different way.
01:03:49A museum of childhood.
01:03:53And childhood,
01:03:55well,
01:03:57at least my childhood,
01:03:59was built on a false idea
01:04:01of the way life was supposed to be like.
01:04:05So I'm happy to let it go.
01:04:09I don't know what it meant to you guys.
01:04:11Maybe it was some kind of
01:04:13temple of torture or something.
01:04:19But for one night,
01:04:21just one night,
01:04:23it was a home again.
01:04:27And I was happy to say goodbye to it.
01:04:31I guess there's no conclusion
01:04:33I could reach here.
01:04:35There are no
01:04:37real conclusions.
01:04:39No solid ones.
01:04:41Maybe tomorrow,
01:04:43Julia will kiss me.
01:04:45Or she'll fire me.
01:04:49Or she'll never speak to me again.
01:04:53It's unavoidable.
01:05:03I feel a trance right now.
01:05:07Like the one I was describing earlier.
01:05:11The kind that Buddhists call Nirvana.
01:05:15I desire nothing.
01:05:17And I feel a tiny tinge of gratitude
01:05:19for every moment that I live.
01:05:25Amen?
01:05:27Amen.
01:05:47Amen.
01:06:17Your mom really lived like this?
01:06:19Mom would always say
01:06:21her money was in the toilet.
01:06:47Amen.
01:07:17Stephanie, hand me that book.
01:07:19Yes, Mom.
01:07:21Alexandra, are you listening?
01:07:23Yeah, trust me, Mom.
01:07:25I can always hear you.
01:07:27Oh, you're an incorrigible young lady.
01:07:29Now, where is that poem?
01:07:33What is mine all belongs
01:07:35to my children.
01:07:37What I take belongs to the
01:07:39forthcoming generation.
01:07:41A strange little band
01:07:43inflicting pain and suffering.
01:07:45A strange little band
01:07:47inflicting pain with joy.
01:07:49How affirming it must feel
01:07:51to be death.
01:07:53To take the pieces of life
01:07:55and place them together
01:07:57however you fancy them
01:07:59to be construed.
01:08:01A space too vast
01:08:03to be even a puzzle
01:08:05pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:08:15A space too vast
01:08:17to be even a puzzle
01:08:19pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:08:21A space too vast
01:08:23to be even a puzzle
01:08:25pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:08:27A space too vast
01:08:29to be even a puzzle
01:08:31pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:08:33A space too vast
01:08:35to be even a puzzle
01:08:37pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:08:39A space too vast
01:08:41to be even a puzzle
01:08:43pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:08:45A space too vast
01:08:47to be even a puzzle
01:08:49pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:08:51A space too vast
01:08:53to be even a puzzle
01:08:55pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:08:57A space too vast
01:08:59to be even a puzzle
01:09:01pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:09:03A space too vast
01:09:05to be even a puzzle
01:09:07pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:09:09A space too vast
01:09:11to be even a puzzle
01:09:13pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:09:15A space too vast
01:09:17to be even a puzzle
01:09:19pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:09:21A space too vast
01:09:23to be even a puzzle
01:09:25pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:09:27A space too vast
01:09:29to be even a puzzle
01:09:31pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:09:33A space too vast
01:09:35to be even a puzzle
01:09:37pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:09:39A space too vast
01:09:41to be even a puzzle
01:09:43pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:09:45A space too vast
01:09:47to be even a puzzle
01:09:49pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:09:51A space too vast
01:09:53to be even a puzzle
01:09:55pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:09:57A space too vast
01:09:59to be even a puzzle
01:10:01pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:10:03A space too vast
01:10:05to be even a puzzle
01:10:07pouring endlessly over the edge.
01:10:09A space too vast
01:10:11to be even a puzzle
01:10:13pouring endlessly over the edge.