• 5 minutes ago
Art from the "Terrifier" series may be the terrifying clown of the moment, but these clowns have been making people scream for far longer...and living in their nightmares, too.
Transcript
00:00What's up everybody, Griffy here. Clowns are objectively terrifying, and with
00:04Terrifier 3 everywhere, my favorite of the Terrifier movies by the way, I
00:08thought it would be fun to talk about five clowns scarier than art.
00:12Pretty soon you're gonna get here in funny places, and you're gonna start thinking about girls, ha!
00:16Five, the Violator. I can hear many of you now complaining, right? The clown from
00:21the Spawn movie with the PlayStation 1 graphics? Yes, that exact clown. Here's
00:25why. One, he's not just a morbidly obese 3 foot 10 clown, he is in fact a 20 plus
00:31foot tall demon whose exact job in hell is to cultivate evil souls to become
00:36minions in the army of hell. He also shepherds the hell spawns as they go out
00:41and carry specific hell missions and rule the armies of hell. He has fire
00:45breath, he has the ability to possess victims and pilot their bodies, he has
00:49shape-shifting which begs the question, why pick this little bulbous clown? We
00:53never find out. We watch him almost eat the neighbor's dog, talk about how he
00:58should go back and visit Spawn's ex-wife who's now happily remarried. That's a
01:03little more terrifying than a clown who just puts on a Santa suit and does
01:06normal chainsaw stuff. I will be the first to concede, this is not the pinnacle
01:11of what I hope Spawn will someday achieve. The comics, the HBO cartoon, they
01:15really captured more of that kind of whore in the shadows, dark violent tone.
01:20The movie took on more of the aesthetic of John Leguizamo playing the pest but in a
01:24small bulbous sumo suit. I will say John Leguizamo's performance as the
01:28violator is my favorite thing in the movie, but man it would be amazing to get
01:33another crack at this character.
01:41Number four, birthday clown dad from Clown. Now I know
01:45what you're saying, what is Clown from 2014? You never saw it, I barely saw it.
01:49The 2014 movie loosely produced by Eli Roth is the story of a dad whose son is
01:54having a birthday party. The birthday clown he hired does not show up, he puts
01:58on a clown suit that he has acquired himself without knowing that this clown
02:02suit is evil. This clown suit cannot be destroyed by acid, it cannot be burned, in
02:08fact it cannot be destroyed period. The only way to end the terror of your loved
02:13one being turned into a mutant clown is to decapitate them. There are great gags
02:17of the red rubber nose not being able to be pulled off, children randomly playing
02:21in a Chuck E. Cheese style human guinea pig tube and ball pits fall victim, the
02:25family dog falls victim. The son comes home and the dad is sitting there and
02:28he's kind of brooding, right, like he's listening to a Korn album. He's like
02:31daddy I've been bullied at school and the dad goes by who? That kid's dad goes
02:36to the bully's house and brutally maims him, leaves him on the carpet and
02:40literally a giant pile of ground beef and it is letting you know this movie is
02:44taking the hardest darkest turn. While art might be equally as destructive
02:49towards the physical body, I think the destruction of a good man makes this
02:54clown scarier to me than art. Art never has a moment of decency ever. Art smiles
02:59at us as he chops our bodies apart. This is just a good dad who because he tried
03:04to do a good deed for his son now becomes a murderous clown scarecrow
03:08monster who's murdering children and dogs only to then have to be murdered by
03:12his own family. That is another personal touch that the Terrifier series
03:17constantly lacks. That said, this movie stinks pretty much across the board.
03:21Don't watch it, just watch clips. You'll get the same gist. It's fun. It's fun.
03:30Number three, Toy Clown from Extro. This movie is a loose ripoff of Alien, right?
03:36A father gets abducted while playing with his son. Three years later, dad comes
03:40back in a horrifying rebirth scene. If you've seen it, you know. Drinks his son's
03:45blood, right? As one is wont to do. And the son develops insane paranormal powers.
03:50So what does he do? He turns his toys into killing machines. Just imagine this,
03:54right? You tell your kid no more snacks at night and next thing you know you
03:57have a six-foot tall bluey trying to kill you and insert eggs in you. The most
04:01famous of the toys from Extro is indeed the Toy Clown. This guy's real job is
04:06he's an egg farmer. So not only does he help capture women, he helps cocoon women,
04:11and then they essentially become the alien xenomorph queen alien egg factory
04:16of this film. The egg harvesting scene literally almost made this movie a video
04:21nasty which would have been banned across an entire country. I think the
04:25trick to the Toy Clown is how little screen time he requires to really burrow
04:29deep deep into the darkest parts of your mind. Art the Clown gets to be
04:32center stage. He is the main focal point of most of the Terrifier movie. This
04:37clown is just there for enough. He gives you hints. Art the Clown killing me is
04:41terrifying, don't get me wrong, but a twisted little Pinocchio trying to turn
04:45me into a repository for alien eggs is just scarier to me. I would rather you
04:50chainsaw me then fill me up with eggs and turn me into a birth machine.
04:56Do you want a balloon too Georgie? I'm not supposed to take stuff from strangers.
05:01Number two, Pennywise. I'm sure no one is surprised to see Pennywise on this list.
05:06Pennywise is a literal titan in the horror genre. What makes Pennywise scary
05:11is that Pennywise is an interdimensional creature who is nearly immortal and
05:15feeds off of our fears. There is a playing with your food aspect of
05:19Pennywise that is absolutely terrifying. The other thing that makes Pennywise a
05:23more scary clown than Art is that whatever you're afraid of that's what he
05:28looks like. Pennywise somehow is tapped into the true fear that we all have
05:32which is seeing our elderly relatives naked chasing us around and if that's
05:35not scary enough what if she's 10 foot tall? His preferred sustenance is not the
05:40normal tropes of horror movie adults that we don't mind seeing killed in all
05:44these movies, but kids that we actually love. Watching him try to eat the loser
05:48club makes that movie more personally terrifying than just watching college
05:53age caricatures getting chopped apart. It just does. I can hear you now, but
05:58Griffey, Pennywise got killed by being bullied by children. Cool man. Art the
06:02Clown got beat up by a 16 year old girl who got a literal cartoon strip sword.
06:06Every horror movie ever the villain dies in hideously dumb ways. I'm not taking
06:11that as an excuse. I can hear another argument you're about to make. They're
06:14telling me off-screen. Terrifier 3, Art the Clown disguised as the mall Santa
06:19blows up a ton of children. Yes that is intense, but you know what that is?
06:23Wasteful. Have you seen the price of groceries? Focus carnage is scarier than
06:27just blowing up mall Santa. It just is. Pennywise can become Art the Clown.
06:33Pennywise can literally turn into Art the Clown. That makes him scarier. The
06:38Pennywise disrespect in this room is unacceptable. It's cool that Art is
06:43starting to dabble in gaining demonic powers. Pennywise is the power. He has all
06:47the powers. And Art the Clown doesn't talk, so Art the Clown can't bully
06:51Pennywise, so he's getting bodied. It's over. This is not even close. I don't know
06:56what we're debating. I'm really upset. I'm sweating.
07:07Number one, killer clowns from outer space. Undoubtedly the greatest clown
07:12contribution to cinema are the killer clowns from outer space. This is an
07:16entire race of alien monsters who built their entire dynasty on the trappings of
07:22a circus. Their spaceships are the big top tent. They turn us into a food source
07:27by cocooning us in cotton candy and turning us into literal juice boxes.
07:31Their weapons are carnival popcorn, right? They breed new killer clowns from
07:36popcorn kernels. They have the look and the trappings and the gags of the
07:41comedic clown, but with horrifying consequences that we just kind of gloss
07:45over with sugar-coated comedy. But make no mistake, this is one of the most
07:50terrifying alien races to ever be on a movie screen. It was one of those movies
07:54that felt laughed at, right? I feel like people lump this in with Attack of the
07:58Killer Tomatoes and do not realize the absolute powerhouse that killer clowns
08:03from outer space is. The small-town rude sheriff played by John Vernon getting
08:07turned into a ventriloquist dummy puppet has haunted me my whole entire
08:11life. The real treat at the end of the movie is that not only do we have baby
08:15killer clowns, we have our soldier killer clowns, we have a kaiju killer clown.
08:20There is a 30-foot clown behemoth that stomps around and can kill everyone in
08:26its path. Again, I can hear the arguments now. You can beat a killer clown by
08:30hitting its red bulbous nose. I get it! You got to get close enough to punch the
08:35nose. That's still scary. I don't care. Art the Clown, with his various little
08:39tools and contraptions, cannot hit the red nose of every member of this alien
08:44race of mega warriors. These clowns are the scariest that have ever been on a
08:48movie screen. That's it! That's my top five clowns that are scarier than Art
08:53List. What did I miss? Let me know in the comments, and do not bring any of that
08:57Pennywise disrespect. Don't!
09:05you

Recommended