Kimberly Williams-Paisley opens up about her “terrifying” and life-changing medical ordeal that left her barely able to speak for two years. The actress reveals how she inexplicably lost her voice, setting off a desperate search for answers and countless doctor visits. “So much of our personalities are expressed in our voice. My career—I'm an actor, a public speaker,” Kimberly shares. “When that’s gone, who am I?”
After a long and uncertain journey, vocal cord surgery (performed while the actress was awake) finally provided a glimmer of hope. Throughout it all, Kimberly’s husband, country music star Brad Paisley, stood by her side, offering unwavering support as she navigated the emotional and physical toll of her condition. In this candid interview, Kimberly shares the intimate details of her struggle, the impact it had on her life, and how she found the strength to heal.
After a long and uncertain journey, vocal cord surgery (performed while the actress was awake) finally provided a glimmer of hope. Throughout it all, Kimberly’s husband, country music star Brad Paisley, stood by her side, offering unwavering support as she navigated the emotional and physical toll of her condition. In this candid interview, Kimberly shares the intimate details of her struggle, the impact it had on her life, and how she found the strength to heal.
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00:00So much of our personalities are expressed in our voice and so much of mine. It's my career
00:07I'm an actor. I'm a public speaker. I
00:10I might use my voice as my part of my value system and
00:15When that's not there, who am I?
00:22I started having trouble with my voice actually a long time ago probably about five six years ago
00:28I noticed that my voice was starting to get higher and
00:32That I felt like I had less control over it
00:36I was less confident that it would be there when I needed it
00:40and then two years ago almost to the day I was on stage for
00:47My Alzheimer's event of an event that I created
00:50to raise money for Alzheimer's and it was a big dance party in Nashville and
00:55I was the the host and
00:59Needed to run the show and I was feeling increasingly anxious
01:03It was a 90s country was the theme and I was decided to go with Cindy Crawford
01:10I my hair was like fabulous. I had the I had the freckle. I had the outfit
01:16I waltzed out there. The crowd was going wild and
01:20I it was my turn to speak. I put the mic up to my mouth and nothing came out literally like
01:27Nothing, not even air. It was just like
01:31Just like shut down and it was terrifying
01:35the whole place went quiet and Ashley my sister turned to me and she said did you just lose your voice and
01:43And I said, yeah, and and we kind of
01:45Laughed it off at the time like oh she was screaming backstage
01:51But the truth is it didn't come back the next day and
01:56The day after that it was maybe a little bit better, but it just sounded really
02:00Whispery and high and weak and for a couple months. I didn't even know that I could see a doctor for something
02:09Like that. I just thought oh I need hot tea. I need full. I tried vocal rest. I
02:14You know, I kind of hid almost immediately I started working with a voice coach
02:20who did a lot of exercises and he helped me with like relaxation and
02:24Because because I went right away to like it's something I'm doing wrong
02:28I'm not breathing properly. I what I I'm not relying on my vocal training, you know
02:33So I was kind of like right away sort of beating myself up
02:36and so he worked with me on trying to just relax and get in my body and
02:41I had two movies coming out the following January and February and
02:46It was really at the red carpet for this movie called dog gone Netflix movie
02:52that I realized like the red carpet was so loud and
02:56I tried doing interviews and I just I had no
03:01vocal capacity when there was noise and I just
03:05Realized something is really it's not there. It was terrifying
03:10I went into the bathroom and cried and I had a couple of my dear friends there who just like held my hand in
03:17The ladies room, you know, and I and I just thought I don't want to go back out there
03:21There was so much shame involved really is just what's wrong with her. I sounded weak and
03:27It's not how I felt
03:29You know
03:30I felt like I did a great job in this movie and I feel like you know
03:34My acting is better than it's ever been in so many ways
03:36I feel like I know myself better in so many ways
03:39I want to age into myself and now I sound like this and I don't sound the way I feel
03:47It was in January really that I I went to Vanderbilt the Vanderbilt Voice Center and
03:54That was terrific right away. They said okay, and the first diagnosis I had I got was muscle tension dysphonia
04:02And they said you are not alone. We are in Nashville
04:05We have tons of mostly singers here who deal with this. It's very common. So muscle tension dysphonia
04:12basically means that my
04:14muscles around my vocal cords were tensing up in a panic to try to help my vocal cords hit each other and
04:23That was for a long time how I was able to get sound out is just by the tension
04:27But the problem was by the time I got on stage at the Alzheimer's event
04:31It was so tight that almost no air could get out
04:35So the first thing they tried to do was unlock the muscle tension dysphonia and at the time
04:39I was so tight that they couldn't even see my vocal cords when they did a scope
04:43So they really couldn't tell what was happening at the Vanderbilt sent me to a woman named Erica young who's fantastic
04:50Who works with a lot of voice?
04:52patients and she worked with me on trying to get the
04:57My body to unlock and ultimately sent me to a place called the Postural Restoration Institute in Lincoln, Nebraska
05:04Really random, but there's a guy there named Ron Hruska who created the Postural Restoration Institute
05:11it's a fantastic place and they
05:14Showed me that my body was not like rooted on the ground that basically my center of gravity
05:20Was misplaced they did these tests
05:23To see if like my arm would go down
05:25I was lying flat on a table and there's a test to see if my arm goes down to check my hip flexors how loose
05:31They are I was very tight when I lay down on the table
05:34Then he stuck these popsicle sticks in my mouth and literally 30 seconds later my whole body unlocked
05:39And it was just the beginning of me understanding like okay
05:44this is what I have to do to ground myself better and once I was grounding myself better than my throat and my
05:51My muscles here were able to relax they sent me to a dentist in Lincoln, Nebraska. I went there several times
05:57I went to a dentist there. I tried Invisalign braces where they kind of just realigned my jaw
06:03And then they gave me an appliance to wear at night that just helped calm my nervous system because when my nervous system was
06:10when I was
06:11not relaxing because my body was
06:14Seizing up then I nothing was calm, you know, so it helped just
06:20Ground me
06:22Center my nervous system
06:23and once I did that then finally all the therapies that I've been doing from the muscle tension dysphonia started relaxing and
06:31Then I went back almost a year later to Vanderbilt from the first time that I saw them and they said, okay
06:38Now we did the scope and the muscles had relaxed and then they could see the vocal cords and they said, okay
06:45So you have paralysis on one side probably caused by a virus, but we'll never know they did do a cat scan
06:52just to rule out any
06:55Sinister things that might have caused something like that and ultimately said it doesn't really matter what caused it
07:00but it was probably a virus or a series of viruses that's just built up over time and it's
07:07nerve weakness in your
07:10recurrent laryngeal nerve which caused
07:13Partial paralysis in my vocal cords and once I got that diagnosis I
07:19Felt like my whole body could relax in a whole new way because the shame and the blame
07:25Dissipated because I felt like okay. This is largely a technical issue. It's not something that I did wrong
07:32Really? What happened was my body was trying to help the technical issue
07:36So my body had been
07:38Compensating and it was it was a vicious cycle and once that piece of the puzzle was figured out
07:44The cycle could stop and I could relax a little bit
07:50So one of the things that happened was we were invited to the governor's ball and
07:56Brad told me that and normally I would think that would be very exciting to go to the White House and be a part of a
08:02Black tie event where you know people from both sides of the aisle are gonna come together and
08:09it's with all the governors in the state and
08:13You know, we're sitting we're sitting at the head table and I just thought oh no
08:20How am I gonna get through this night? And I make cards, you know, I'm on vocal rest. I make cards that were like
08:27So what do you do or so?
08:29Where are you from?
08:30You know just so I could like show to people to try to like create conversation cuz again
08:34I'm a very social person. This would be a fascinating place for me to be and
08:40I dreaded it
08:43For weeks leading up to it and Brad's like it's gonna be fine. I got you, you know, just just wear a sign
08:49Just put out hand out signs to people just make it funny
08:52You know
08:53I show up and we went into the photo line to say hi to the president and the first lady and I'm and I'm and
08:59Brad's ready to just say she's not she's not sick. You know, like that's what we were worried about is everyone's gonna go. Oh, no
09:06And we walk into the room to meet
09:10President Biden and the first lady and the first lady comes to me and she says I'm so sorry. I've lost my voice
09:19I was like what?
09:23And it was such a relief to be like
09:27Okay
09:28I'm not the only one and
09:30she has to talk a lot more than I do and
09:33I got through that night. If anyone out there is going through something like this. You're not alone
09:40There was no option but to be awake for the surgery, but to me that was like
09:45Beautifully symbolic because over the last two years. I feel like I've been waking up to myself
09:52I've had to like go through this with my eyes open. There's no sweeping anything under the rug
09:56It was like let's look in every corner and figure out what this is. I was trying everything
10:02I was just digging really deep and to me the beauty of having to be awake for the surgery
10:09There is no sleeping through this like I have to be fully present
10:14To cross this finish line and I was really ready for it. I was excited
10:20There was no part of me that didn't want to do it what they did is they made an implant in the room
10:26It looks a little bit like a tooth
10:28And then they they placed it in then they took it out
10:31They shaved it a little bit placed it and they did about three times and each time they put it in they'd have me talk
10:36That's why they needed me to be awake
10:38Have me talk a little bit and and they could tell in the room even better than I could
10:43You know, so I started talking they said, okay, that's not quite right and they did it again
10:46Okay, great better but not quite right then they did it again when they finally got it, right everyone in the room said yes
10:52There it is. There's her voice. It felt great. It was a little bit hoarse at first
10:59But it just felt it felt great to just be able to have tone
11:04again, and it was
11:08Wonderful and when I got back to the room, I had some visitors I had people coming to see me right away and it was just
11:15Like I couldn't even believe it was true and then when everyone left that night I had to spend the night in the hospital
11:21that's when I
11:22Decided I'm gonna write about this
11:24I'm gonna tell people about this because I felt it was really hard to do when I didn't have my voice still it was really
11:30Hard to do and I admire anyone who's able to talk about the hard parts when they're still really really in the hard parts
11:38but once I crossed into like, okay, I can hear it again, I
11:43Really wanted to talk about it and I sat there for like three four hours. I
11:49Took one shot of myself. I didn't touch it up. I had a pimple on my face
11:54I didn't fix my hair and I just was like this is me and I can't wait to tell you about what I'm going through
12:01You know
12:01It just felt really good to be vulnerable and the response that I got was so huge and so instant
12:09that it really
12:11Reinforced how much people are wanting authenticity and vulnerability and
12:20Humor, you know just I think people are really craving that right now
12:27It's a new voice in some ways
12:29I'm sort of having to relearn how to put everything together now that there's new tissue and their new material in there and
12:37my amazing
12:39voice therapy
12:41Coach, she's a doctor. Jenny McCullough at Vanderbilt. She was helping me with I
12:47mean, it's it's also it's a mental job and it's a physical job of just having the security to know my voice is gonna be
12:53There because for so long it wasn't and then having the the physical
12:57Like yes, it's there. So she said one thing that she's seen people do
13:03Is put a bucket over their head to help to help them. It's sort of like singing in the shower
13:08It helps you hear your voice and it gives you feedback to know it's there so you don't have to tense up
13:14So if I am afraid that my voice isn't gonna be there
13:18I may be inclined to go back to old habits and she said well, do you have a bucket and I said I have a swan
13:28So when I hold this one up like this I
13:33Speak into this one and I can hear my voice
13:36Okay, and then I can just relax I know she's there I know she's there
13:41Swan
13:42Her name is Swan. So when I did I got farmer wants a wife. I took Swan and everyone was like
13:50What's the story and I just said she's my support animal. She just comes along
13:55Like okay, she just she keeps her
13:58She keeps the Swan for some reason then before I go out in front of the camera and just say hey, hey, we got this
14:06I am someone that tries to find the silver lining no matter what
14:11So I I'm like my own best and worst cheerleader
14:15So there were days when I really grieved
14:19their days when I
14:20Sobbed to the people on my team
14:23Well to Brad to my voice coach to Erica young to the people at Vanderbilt, you know
14:29Just cried and cried and cried and they just listened in great ways
14:35And then there were days where I was like, all right, I'm gonna be a writer
14:39I'm going to my son's learning sign language. Okay, I will work on sign language
14:46I
14:48Will
14:49try to embrace this and
14:52You know Erica and I were working so much on unlocking my body and once my body was
14:58More open and more aligned. I didn't have to do the physical therapy stuff with her as much
15:03So she started doing weight training with me
15:06Which is one of the huge perks of this whole thing in the last two years is that I'm finally lifting weights
15:12And my low back pain is gone, you know
15:16So like I feel like I have a new lease on life because I have this regular meditation practice
15:21So my mental health is better and I have a great therapist and I can lift more than my own body weight
15:29You know, and that's that feels
15:32right, that feels strong and
15:35empowering and for so long I felt weak and
15:40And now I feel much stronger
15:44This was a very isolating experience and
15:48I
15:49am just so grateful that I had Brad and the boys with me through this because they saw me at my most vulnerable and
15:56my weakest moments and
15:58To see them embracing me and helping me and grieving with me made me feel less alone and was really
16:07Really helpful for the journey. One of the kindest things Brad did for me was he got me a megaphone
16:14And it was really like hilarious and so necessary
16:20So, you know, he's so good at helping me like keeping me laughing
16:25And that was really a gift. It was exactly what I needed
16:29It was this big pink megaphone and I started using it immediately because you know
16:34I have teenagers and I can't I couldn't call them upstairs to say you're late for school
16:40you know, so I got the megaphone there and
16:43It really came in handy, you know, it's funny as my youngest was going through puberty while I was going through this
16:50so we were both talking about how our voices were changing and
16:56That was actually really nice to share it's like yeah, this is so weird you feel like a different person and so do I and
17:03Whoa, you're showing up differently in the world. And so am I and isn't this curious?
17:08I wanted also them to see that I was accepting of myself and also that I'm not giving up
17:15So there were things that I was modeling that they were watching me model and then I could see them doing the same. I
17:23Want to never take it for granted I want to be brave and using my voice and
17:31Not leave things unsaid I think that my opinion is valuable
17:35You know, there can be times if somebody else is louder in a room that I'll defer and say, okay. Well, that's fine
17:40I'm much more ready and willing to say hang on. I've got something to say. I have an opinion about this
17:47I have had to fight even harder to be heard and
17:51And so now I feel like no matter what my physical voice is my voice underneath it is stronger