Living through depression
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00:00Sad mood is not depression. Sustained sad mood, which lasts more than two weeks, with reason or without reason, we call as depression or clinically depressed.
00:11During this period, the person feels helplessness, hopelessness, being sad, no interest in any usual activities, routine activities, day-to-day activities,
00:23his job, his studies, or difficulty in focus, concentration, brooding, negative thoughts, sleep disturbance, loss of appetite, he doesn't feel like eating.
00:35There is a word called anhedonia, means inability to enjoy the usual pleasure of life.
00:42Usually because of certain environmental factors or situational factors, that's what we call as triggers.
00:49Like for example, during this particular season, I mean, a particular scenario of the COVID, it's difficult, we cannot go out, social isolation, you cannot socialize, and sitting at home.
01:02So this is a particular scenario, situation, or a death of a spouse, or death of a close family member, or a big loss in financial loss.
01:13These are the triggers of, I mean, which may induce or start depression, that is one thing.
01:21Even without any environmental or situational trigger, also depression can set in.
01:30So there are two important things. Not all the people who are exposed to a major event or a traumatic event get depressed, only a few, not all.
01:45So who are the people who get depressed, who are the people who do not get depressed, or they have the coping mechanism?
01:51So that is where we call as the genetic, the genes, our constitution that comes for those people.
02:00And over and above that, those people who have got the trigger, so that is what we call as the epigenetics in our terminology.
02:10Genetics, superimposed environmental factors, these together, they make the individual to feel clinically depressed for a prolonged time.
02:23The majority of the people, we don't entertain or acknowledge that we are depressed.
02:31There is a stigma associated or attached to that. We feel shame or, oh, no, no, I'm not, I'm mentally strong, it's I'm not me.
02:43So they take it granted, it's not a thing to concern, so they keep to themselves.
02:53That is the main hurdle, which come in the way of the, I mean, how we can address.
02:58So what I advise is the first thing, acknowledge that there is an entity called depression, there is a problem which can be addressed.
03:102017, when I was in a situation, in a financial situation that I didn't do actually, I was just part, I was involved in a financial problem.
03:23And basically, I kept this problem into myself and I didn't tell anybody about it.
03:33That's the time that I was, I was feeling sad every time I go home.
03:37I sigh a lot, like, like this, and I didn't know, I feel like I'm floating when I go home after work.
03:44I feel like I'm in a very bad, bad situation.
03:48And then my friends are, my friends in the house are telling me, what happened to you? Are you okay? Something wrong?
03:56But behind, but, but they really know what's happening to me. I just didn't tell them what, what's happening to me.
04:01So, so that's, that's, that's the situation for myself.
04:06And then what I did is like, because I'm into art, so what I did is just, I just go to the corner of my room and just do painting,
04:16listen to, just listen to music and just all, just be myself in that part, that corner of the room.
04:24Yeah, actually there were, there were times like, I just feel like, oh, it's, it's okay. It's just nothing.
04:29It's just, it's just a normal, it's just being human that you just feel sad about a particular situation.
04:35But when I was able to attend a depression awareness campaign, a depression awareness program,
04:42that I realized that I was really into that, that bad situation, that that's already depression.
04:49And that could lead into something if I was not able to do something about it.
04:54I was an active member of the Filipino community as a volunteer.
04:58And there is this one program with Kapayat Pandesal Diary that they have this depression awareness campaign.
05:05When I was, when I, when I joined the team, the Kapayat Pandesal Diary,
05:10there was one segment wherein they had me as host or as host of that particular segment with the psychologist.
05:18And, and we tackled about depression.
05:20And then I realized that, oh my, that I was really in the deep, deep problem already.
05:26And then I realized it was already depression.
05:29And then when they talk about all the stuff about depression and then they discuss about it,
05:34then I realized that I was able to combat it and I was able to do something about it,
05:40like prayers, getting involved, getting myself busy, and not to indulge myself in sadness,
05:46in this long sadness, and in this particular depression that I am, I went through.
05:52For those friends and family out there who has a family or brothers or sisters who are suffering from depression,
05:59the moment you feel that there is something wrong about them,
06:02they're doing odd about themselves,
06:05or they're posting something on social media that they're not feeling well,
06:08they're, they're, they are in a bad situation,
06:13right there and then, call their attention.
06:16Talk to them.
06:17Don't put any more messages on Facebook, especially in social media.
06:21Don't put those threads of messages very long.
06:24Try to talk to them directly.
06:25Because depression is something that, at a snap of the finger, they may end their life.
06:31And definitely, if you were able to talk to them right there and then on what their,
06:35what their situation are, then that would be a great help for them.
06:39It was in the year 2017 when I found out that I am having that kind of a thing, you know?
06:47So, I thought it was just a, like, a normal thing or a normal emotion
06:54that I was feeling until such time, until such time that I realized
07:01that it's something deeper and hard to explain.
07:06I was out of control already.
07:08I could just cry, you know?
07:10I could just feel this extreme sadness, extreme loneliness,
07:15and I could hear a lot of voices inside my mind telling me a lot of things.
07:20And those were really awful things.
07:23Like, okay, I would give you an example.
07:26It was like someone, you know, a voice was telling me to just cut my wrist,
07:34something like that, to hurt myself, or to bang my head on the wall, something like that.
07:40And then I was like, no, this is no longer, you know, the feeling?
07:46There was fear.
07:47And I was like, oh my gosh, let's, let me research on that.
07:50So, as I was researching on Google, I was like,
07:54these are some of the signs, you know, symptoms of depression.
08:00So, then I called a friend.
08:02At first, it was a friend who was a psychiatrist.
08:05I asked her, you know, this is how I am feeling.
08:08And then she said, oh my gosh, you're into depression.
08:14So, I was denying it.
08:17I said, no, I am just lonely.
08:20I am just sad.
08:23And she said, Camila, what else are you feeling right now?
08:27Or what are the other things you have in mind right now, right at this moment?
08:32And I was, I was like, you know, I was into deep thought.
08:37And then I came up with, you know, with the line of, I would like to end my life.
08:43And she was like, oh no, no, no, no, stop it, stop it.
08:47You have to rest.
08:48You have to take a deep breath, something like that.
08:51And it was like, no, then I just cried uncontrollably.
08:54First things first, they really have to address, or they really have to identify, okay?
09:01They really have to identify the situation or the problem, you know?
09:06And then they have to, they have to act on it, okay?
09:10They have to address it.
09:11Then they should, you know, they should admit it, that they are into it, other than denying it.
09:23Because denying will not help.
09:26It will worsen the situation.
09:28And then find the people.
09:31It's not easy.
09:31It's not easy.
09:32When you are into it, there are a lot of symptoms, you know?
09:36One of that is, this is what I call this unexplainable loneliness, unexplainable sadness.
09:46And then also the other thing is, when petty things would get you angry, would trigger,
09:54you know, there are things, petty things, only petty things, but it will get you riled up
09:59immediately.
10:01And you will, from human to werewolf, you know?
10:04You will transform into a werewolf for nothing, you know?
10:09You know what I mean?
10:11So yeah, you have to really understand the problem, okay?
10:17Address it.
10:18And then surround yourself with the people you trust, the people who would really help you
10:26battle or combat your situation.
10:30And then people who will love you for who you are, who will accept you for what you are.
10:37People who will not judge you, because you cannot just go around and tell them,
10:42oh, I am depressed, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
10:45No, you cannot, because not all would understand.
10:49So you really just have to, like, choose the right environment.
10:57Yes.
10:58And then listen to motivational videos.
11:04But the most important thing is kneel down and pray, because no one can ever help us,
11:14or no one will go through with us but God alone.
11:21He will never leave us nor forsake us.
11:24He will strengthen us.
11:26This is from my own experience, and obviously from my own experience.
11:30So again, it's very important that you have this talking out behavior.
11:34So the moment you're open to talk about it, the more awareness that you may have,
11:39the easier, the better that you will be able to address depression,
11:44you know, even if it is not yet at its peak.
11:46So it's so important that you also need to have a clear mind
11:51that there are things you cannot control and there are things you can control.
11:55So things that you can control, you basically have to attend it to yourself,
12:01like talk to individuals, talk to your loved ones,
12:04and if you may see it fit to really talk to an expert,
12:08go to mental health professionals, you know,
12:10psychologists, psychiatrists that may be available in the process,
12:14because this is part of growing, you know.
12:16You need to really see how you can manage yourself in the process
12:20and disregarding being in denial, this will not truly help, you know.
12:25So looking into that, that's something that you need to consider.
12:29You also need to consider, you know, proper diet, proper exercise,
12:33because these two important factors, you know,
12:39the nutrient part and the diet part and the exercise
12:44would really create a difference, you know,
12:46when the hormones, happiness hormones will be triggered,
12:52the happiness hormones will be boosted all along.
12:55So eating nutritious food like yogurt,
13:00when you talk about typical fruit, strawberry, banana,
13:04you know, these can all help you boost your happiness hormones, you know.
13:09So food rich in omega-3 would definitely help
13:14and food that are rich in omega-6,
13:17especially when you fry, de-fry some food,
13:20that will definitely, that will not help, you know,
13:23that will even, you know, boost your depression
13:27if in case you're eating or taking in unhealthy diet.
13:32On the aspect of looking into the acronym grades,
13:35G-R-A-D-E-S, G for getting involved.
13:39Getting involved means not just to be socially connected
13:43with your community but to be more sensitive
13:47with the needs of the family members,
13:49with the needs of your friends.
13:51Sometimes these people who are depressed just need people to talk to
13:55and they need a listening, you know, ear on that note.
14:00So getting involved would be one.
14:02R will be to relax.
14:04It's so important that you find time for yourself, you know.
14:09It's part of self-compassion.
14:11So if you don't get the opportunity to have the relaxation that you deserve,
14:15self-talk is part of that which many of us would be lacking nowadays.
14:19We don't have the opportunity to really have some self-talk.
14:23Don't make it just too loud when you do this,
14:25when you thought you're alone.
14:27But one way over the other, it's so important to build relationship
14:31internal to ourselves.
14:32There is such thing as intrapersonal relationship.
14:35That's the R.
14:36A for effective, be more, you know, sensitive with the needs of other people
14:43and to your needs as well, you know.
14:46So that's the A.
14:47D for doing creative activities and or diet, you know.
14:54Those small tips that I have given earlier on,
14:58it's part of educating yourself that far beyond what you know
15:04that those nutritious food just confounded with the leafy vegetables
15:07would not be enough, you know.
15:09Even a simple belief that a pepper can also boost your mood and happiness
15:16would enable you to change your mood over time, would help, you know.
15:20So that's part of the D in there.
15:24E for exercise, you know.
15:26You may not basically have the awareness that it really is something
15:32that would boost your energy and your system
15:36not just to really cope with the demands of the current time
15:39but, you know, to have the happiness hormones that you need
15:42to survive in this trying time.
15:45And not just to survive but to thrive, you know, in this trying time.
15:48That's the E.
15:49And S there is sleep, you know.
15:51Normally depressed individuals have patterns of problems,
15:56I mean problems with sleep.
15:58So if that's a silent pandemic, even before this pandemic came,
16:03so you have a lot of impaired decision-making
16:09and you have more impaired, you know, patterns of thinking
16:14that mean you may not think really as accurate as you may have
16:20once you don't really get the proper sleep.
16:22So that's the G-R-A-D-E-S formula that I can share to all of you.