• 2 weeks ago
Almost 25 years later, we all still hate that Toad one-liner.

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00:00So, there's no denying the importance and the impact of the original 2000 X-Men movie.
00:06As one of Hollywood's first serious attempts at a big-budget superhero film, its success
00:10proved that audiences were definitely thirsty to see these types of stories brought to life
00:14in live-action form, and it of course kick-started a long-running X-Men movie franchise and encouraged
00:20studios to start buying up every popular comic IP they could get their hands on.
00:25But while X-Men remains a solidly enjoyable superhero movie today, it's also fair to
00:30say that not everything about it has aged all that well.
00:33In fact, I'd go as far to say that there are some things about the 2000s X-Men movie
00:38that we've all hated ever since the film first came out, whether we wanted to admit
00:42it or not.
00:43And that's what we're here to talk about today, as I'm Jules, this is WhatCulture.com,
00:46and this is everything you always hated in X-Men.
00:5015.
00:51The Absence of the Animated X-Men Theme
00:54This film left some fans disappointed right from the get-go, as X-Men's brief CGI-laced
01:00opening title sequence didn't feature the expected reprise of Ron Wasserman's iconic
01:04– even legendary – theme from the 1990s X-Men animated series.
01:09Not even a hint of that unforgettable theme is found in Michael Kamen's original score,
01:15which while certainly being good, feels a little lacking without even the faintest invocation
01:19of the single piece of music that everybody associates with X-Men.
01:23In fact, it wasn't until the recent Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness that
01:26we got to hear an orchestral version of the theme in a Marvel movie, where Professor X
01:31showed up in the film's infamous Illuminati sequence.
01:3414.
01:35Rogue's Terrible Southern Accent
01:37Look, nobody wants to bag on a young actress trying to make it in Hollywood, but in the
01:42case of Anna Paquin, she already had an Oscar to her name for her performance in The Piano
01:46many years earlier.
01:48And so, it doesn't seem unfair to expect better from her where her southern accent
01:52for Rogue is concerned, which, to be blunt, is atrocious.
01:56From the moment that we hear Rogue speak, it sounds like a highly effective attempt
02:00at a southern twang, but the worst part is that it's wildly inconsistent throughout
02:04the film, ramping up and then fading away between scenes.
02:08The decision was evidently made to phase Rogue's accent out for the sequels, yet ironically
02:12when she later starred in the HBO vampire series True Blood, her southern accent was
02:17considerably more convincing.
02:19She definitely put in the work, it seems.
02:2113.
02:22Wolverine Can't Smell Rogue
02:24It's easy to forget that Wolverine has an enhanced sense of smell.
02:28It's a power that's used so infrequently throughout these movies, yet he does use it
02:31twice in the original X-Men film.
02:33First, he's able to smell Sabretooth before he shows up, and then, near the end of the
02:38movie, he uses the ability to detect when Mystique poses as Storm inside the Statue
02:43of Liberty.
02:44And yet, for some reason, Logan is unable to smell Rogue when she sneaks into the trailer
02:48of his car early on in Alberta.
02:50He only notices her when she makes some noise, which seems like a pretty odd oversight.
02:55Is this a nitpick?
02:56Maybe, but the consistency of powers is massively important in superhero movies, even when it's
03:01an ability as benign as a super sense of smell.
03:0412.
03:05The Car Crash Continuity Error
03:07Now, there are nitpick continuity errors, and then there are mistakes so blinding and
03:11distractingly obvious that they deserve to be called out.
03:14Case in point, after Wolverine crashes his car into a tree when Sabretooth attacks, shows
03:19the front of the truck being totally crushed.
03:22The windshield is shattered and squashed by the impact, and yet, in the next shot, the
03:26truck looks in considerably better condition, with the windshield basically intact, providing
03:31enough of an opening for Wolverine to be launched through it due to not wearing a seatbelt.
03:35Obviously, in reality, the crushed front of the car would have prevented Logan from being
03:38propelled through the windshield, but the power of editing is such that popcorn-gobbling
03:43audiences never noticed it.
03:45In the era of streaming and 4K video, where every imperfection can be poured over ad nauseam,
03:49though, it's a glaring mistake.
03:5111.
03:52The Jubilee Tease That Went Nowhere
03:55Because the first X-Men has to introduce audiences to so many characters and ideas, it naturally
04:00leaves a number of easter eggs, references, and cameos in plain sight, hinting at the
04:04mutants that we might expect to see in the sequels.
04:07But perhaps the most infuriating of these teases is the beloved mutant Jubilee, who
04:11is briefly shown wearing her distinctive yellow attire in one of the classes that is held
04:15at the X-Mansion.
04:16Now, while at the time it was easy to be optimistic that we'd eventually get to see Jubilee have
04:20a prominent billing in the X-Men franchise, over 20 years later, it is maddening that
04:25it's never actually happened.
04:26Now, she has appeared in numerous other X-Films, albeit only in throwaway cameo capacities.
04:32She was in X-2 and X-Men The Last Stand, and also in X-Men Apocalypse, which was basically
04:36an extended cameo.
04:38Yet Lana Condor, who played her in that film, didn't appear in Dark Phoenix due to scheduling
04:42conflicts.
04:43Hopefully, when the MCU introduces the X-Men fully, they won't neglect this beloved character,
04:48who absolutely deserves to get her time to shine on the big screen.
04:5210.
04:53The Cringeworthy Love Triangle
04:54The love triangle between Wolverine, Jean Grey and Cyclops was admittedly something
04:58from the comics that was imported into this movie, but I ask you, did it really need to
05:02be?
05:03There's enough going on in this film that the inclusion of a cringeworthy potential
05:06romance between Logan and Jean feels totally unnecessary, not to mention wildly rushed
05:11in a movie that's got so much narrative ground to cover.
05:14Why is this a priority?
05:16Throw in a ton of possessive male posturing, such as Cyclops telling Logan, stay away from
05:21my girl, and it's by far the weakest, iffiest sub in the entire movie.
05:26That it apparently went through a lot of changes during shooting, as Bryan Singer hadn't
05:30committed to one side of the romantic equation, isn't remotely surprising.
05:339.
05:34The Goofy Senator Kelly CGI
05:37Conversely, one of the most fascinating and well-executed subplots in the film involves
05:41Senator Kelly, the anti-mutant politician who is ironically turned into a mutant by
05:46Magneto.
05:47This is the point at which the film's age begins to show, as the visual effects for
05:51Kelly's transformation are definitely not great, and honestly barely help muster even
05:55upon its original release.
05:57As Kelly wakes up, he realizes that he now possesses an elastic ability, which he demonstrates
06:01by pressing his head against his cell bars, whereby his head squeezes through the gap.
06:06The CGI is pretty goofy-looking, even by early 2000s standards, and so thankfully isn't
06:11lingered upon for too long.
06:12In the sequence in which Kelly dies after his body rejects the mutation and he dissolves
06:16into liquid, well that also looks very silly, as Hollywood hadn't yet got a handle on
06:20complex fluid-based VFX that also incorporated human elements.
06:25It's hardly the movie's biggest sin, but it's certainly aged like milk regardless.
06:298.
06:30Sabretooth is a total joke
06:32One of the biggest complaints from comic book fans about the original X-Men movie is its
06:36rather meager treatment of Sabretooth.
06:38Though stuntman-turned-actor Tyler Maine certainly brings the imposing presence to this part,
06:43as a character, he's little more than a thin sketch.
06:46Throughout the film, he doesn't do much more than grunt, look big, and occasionally kick
06:49somebody's ass, but he's too often depicted as glorified comic relief, a klutz who just
06:54bumps into things and gets thrown around a lot.
06:56The character looks great, but has no dimensionality whatsoever, and it wasn't until X-Men Origins
07:01Wolverine almost an entire decade later that we finally got, well, something more than
07:06this.
07:077.
07:08Wolverine's silly motorcycle ride
07:10Here's a scene that almost nobody talks about despite the fact that it is just so incredibly
07:16goofy.
07:17Midway through the film, Logan steals Cyclops' motorcycle in order to chase down Rogue, who
07:21has decided to leave the school.
07:23While driving the bike around, Logan notices a strange button on it, which he of course
07:27presses.
07:28This initiates the bike's boost function, sending the bike careening forward at an insane
07:32speed all the while Logan barely holds on, and clearly, he loves it.
07:36And yet, the weird digital treatment of the shot, rendering Hugh Jackman's face as a
07:40shaky blur, and the clunky movement of the bike itself make the scene feel so, so much
07:45of a product of the early 2000s.
07:466.
07:47Why didn't Xavier make Sabretooth remove Magneto's helmet?
07:51At the end of the film's second act, Magneto takes custody of Rogue, and Professor X uses
07:56his abilities to mentally possess Sabretooth, in turn grabbing Magneto by the neck in an
08:00attempt to stop him.
08:02However, Magneto uses his abilities to turn all of the surrounding police officers'
08:06guns on themselves, and then threatens to fire them if Xavier doesn't let Sabretooth
08:10go.
08:11However, Magneto relents, and in turn proves himself to be considerably more stupid than
08:15anyone expected.
08:16Because here's the question, why didn't he just have Sabretooth remove Magneto's
08:20helmet, which would have allowed Xavier to then control and subdue Magneto as well?
08:24Yes, the answer is basically because the movie says so, but it's still a glaring oversight
08:28that Xavier, of all people, would miss a wide-open opportunity like this.
08:325.
08:33Storm's wildly inconsistent accent
08:36Though on paper Halle Berry seemed like a fine casting choice for Storm, her performance
08:40in the first X-Men film in particular was divisively received by the fanbase, and even
08:45in the sequels where she was largely deemed a disappointment.
08:48But the single most staggering issue with Berry's portrayal is her infamously shifting
08:52accent.
08:53In the first film, she plays Storm with an apparently Kenyan accent, yet it's so wildly
08:57inconsistent and difficult to pass that you couldn't be blamed for failing to notice.
09:01For whatever reason, the decision was made, probably sensibly, to more or less ditch the
09:05accent entirely for the sequels, where she basically speaks with her own natural American
09:09accent.
09:10While you can appreciate the desire to respect Storm's Kenyan roots in the movie, Berry's
09:14inability to nail the accent ultimately proved more distracting than anything else.
09:194.
09:20The yellow spandex line
09:22Comic book movies in general love their wink-wink, ham-fisted fan service, and though X-Men toes
09:27the line pretty well for the most part, screenwriter David Hayter couldn't resist one toe-curlingly
09:31daft reference to the hero's iconic original attire from the comics.
09:35In the movie's third act, the X-Men donned their black leather costumes to do battle
09:39as a team, a choice of wardrobe that proved massively divisive with fans who felt it deviated
09:43too much from the yellow spandex numbers from the comics.
09:47And so, as the X-Men set off to do battle with Magneto and company, there's a line
09:50where Wolverine mocks the black leather outfits, only for Cyclops to retort, what would you
09:54prefer, yellow spandex?
09:56Though producer Ralph Winter insists that the line wasn't intended as a jab at fans,
10:00it's nevertheless a pretty groan-worthy nod towards the mutant's iconic original attire
10:04from the comics.
10:06Later, X-Men films proved to be a little less embarrassed about flashing some yellow, but
10:10it certainly took some years getting there.
10:123.
10:13Toad dances a jig, because of reasons
10:16Much like Sabretooth, Toad, played by Ray Park, is a total joke character throughout
10:20the film, though at least his abilities are silly enough that it doesn't really undermine
10:24his character.
10:25Even so, it's hard not to wince at some of the goofball mugging that Toad gets up
10:29to in this action-packed third act, even going so far as, for some reason, deciding to randomly
10:33dance a jig while battling Jean Grey.
10:36It has a strong whiff of improv that Ray Park probably just threw in there and that Bryan
10:40Singer liked enough to keep in the final cut.
10:42It may only last a few seconds, but it's ultimately more of a baffling head-scratcher
10:46than genuinely amusing.
10:482.
10:49The infamous Toad line
10:51Surely the single moment in the movie that just about everybody hates is the infamous
10:55one-liner dropped by Storm moments before she kills Toad.
10:58As she fires up her Storm, she quips to him, do you know what happens to a Toad when it's
11:02struck by lightning?
11:03The same thing that happens to everything else.
11:05The line is delivered in a dead-serious flat monotone by Berry, which certainly didn't
11:10help the reception to her performance at all.
11:12Joss Whedon, who contributed the one-liner to the script, later stated in interviews
11:16that the line was supposed to be spoken with a knowing smile rather than Berry's more
11:20straight-laced approach.
11:21It's also been rumoured that Toad was originally supposed to make a reoccurring joke throughout
11:25the film, asking about what happens to a Toad in certain situations, which would have made
11:29Storm's retort feel like more of an organic payoff.
11:32But either way, it's a terrible line reading and one that fans continue to lament over
11:3620 years later.
11:371.
11:38Nobody Notices Senator Kelly's Yellow Eyes
11:41And finally, at the very end of the film, we see TV footage of Senator Kelly rescinding
11:45his prior position on the Mutant Registration Act, with Storm pausing the TV just as Kelly's
11:50eyes turn yellow, confirming him to be, in fact, Mystique in disguise.
11:55Except if Storm notices this, wouldn't members of the general public notice this as well?
11:59In fairness, your average punter doesn't know who Mystique is and wouldn't immediately
12:03realise precisely what's going on.
12:05But with mutants being openly known in the world of the X-Men movies, it wouldn't take
12:09too much deductive reasoning for people to assume that the yellow eyes indicated a mutant
12:13hijacking of some kind, especially given the suddenness of Kelly reversing his stance on
12:17mutant registration.
12:19If this sort of thing happened today, in a world where everything could be clipped out
12:22and posted to social media within seconds, Mystique's ruse would have been rumbled
12:26in record time.
12:28And back in 2000, though, it surely would have turned some heads, right?
12:30And there we go, my friends.
12:32That was everything you always hated in X-Men.
12:34I hope that you enjoyed that, and please let me know what you thought about it down in
12:37the comments section below.
12:39As always, I've been Jules.
12:40You can go follow me over on Twitter at RetroJay, but the O is a zero, or you can swing by Instagram
12:44where it's the same handle, RetroJay, but the O is a zero.
12:47Hope to see you over there.
12:49But before I go, I just want to say one thing.
12:51Even though we talked a lot about everything that we hated in X-Men, I want you, my friend,
12:55to learn to love yourself, because you are an absolute ledge.
12:58You deserve all of the best things in life, like love, happiness, and success.
13:02And don't let anything or anyone else tell you otherwise, all right?
13:05I want you to go out there and absolutely smash it today.
13:08I believe in you.
13:09As always, I've been Jules.
13:10You have been awesome.
13:11Never forget that.
13:12And I'll speak to you soon.
13:13Bye.

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