Erin Lichy is speaking up. The Real Housewives of New York City star reveals the reality of finding herself pregnant at the young age of 18 and not knowing what to do. Here, in her own words, Erin speaks to the power of choice.
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00:00I have never told this story and I never thought I would.
00:04It's a really hard topic, but it's my story of going to college, moving in my freshman
00:11year.
00:12I had just turned 18, and within two weeks finding out that I was pregnant from my boyfriend
00:18back in New York.
00:19Erin, what are you here to talk about?
00:23I'm here to talk about Housewives, Miskal, and to tell you a story I've never told.
00:29Let's start with Housewives.
00:30How has your life changed in the last 18 months since the first season of this reboot came
00:35out?
00:36A lot of things have changed, but also a lot has remained the same.
00:38I feel like I'm the same person and I still have the exact same values, but I almost feel
00:44like I have a responsibility now.
00:46Things that I say hold a little bit of a different weight.
00:49You know, people are kind of watching, so in that way I feel just more responsible.
00:53When you looked back at the first season, did anything surprise you in how you came
00:57across, or were there any moments where you were like, oh, is that how I act?
01:00Sometimes, yeah.
01:01I'm like, I'm not that much of a tough bitch, like I'm so fun usually, and I'm like, what
01:05the hell?
01:06You know, overall I say what I think.
01:08I really don't hold back.
01:09I'm very honest and upfront, and I don't know how to be different.
01:13Tell me about the Real Housewives of New York group chat.
01:15It can get a little heated on the group chat, although this season it's been very tame and
01:19more informational, and I think it's very pleasant.
01:22Uba and Brynn send the most memes.
01:24They like speak via meme.
01:25The Real Housewives franchise is just made to be memed.
01:28What was your favorite from last season?
01:30I mean, the Tribeca, it's there.
01:31Is it there?
01:32It's there.
01:33Like, that whole thing was amazing.
01:34And what do people tag you in?
01:36Shakshuka still.
01:38It's Shakshuka constantly.
01:39Cheese, Shakshuka, Tribeca, I get tagged in a lot.
01:43I like that, though.
01:44I'm all about it.
01:45Tag me away in all your Shakshuka recipes.
01:46Do you have that recipe out into the world, exactly how you make it?
01:50There will be some news coming soon, but I might be releasing a whole slew of recipes.
01:56When you talk about ventures, there's been two things that you've been very open about
02:00that you've taken on, one in the world of tequila, Mezcal, and one in the world of real
02:05estate.
02:06Talk me through both of those.
02:07So for me, real estate is like ingrained in my ethos.
02:09My mom is a real estate agent.
02:11My dad's a developer.
02:12And I went to school for sustainable development.
02:14So for me, it was like, I can't give this up.
02:16I've been doing it for so long, I could do a deal in my sleep.
02:20And then Mezcal has been such a joy.
02:22I started this business with my husband, was born on the beach of Tulum.
02:26So hence the name, Mezcalume.
02:28In a year and a half, we've done so much, I literally could pinch myself.
02:31I can't even believe it's real.
02:33What Mezcal cocktail would you put with Shakshuka?
02:36That's a good one.
02:37Well, not more tomato-based.
02:38So I'd say, ooh, maybe with orange juice.
02:42Okay.
02:43Yeah.
02:44A little breakfast drink.
02:45There's a reason you're here today.
02:46And there's a reason you've come to Glamour, to tell a story that you haven't told before.
02:48What is that?
02:49Oh, God.
02:50I'm nervous.
02:51It's okay.
02:52I have never told this story, and I never thought I would.
02:57It's a really hard topic, but it's my story of going to college, moving in.
03:03My freshman year, I had just turned 18.
03:06And within two weeks, finding out that I was pregnant from my boyfriend back in New York.
03:12Share what that was like for you.
03:13Well, I've always been very, very in tune with my body.
03:16So I think I knew really early on.
03:19I immediately went.
03:20I got a test.
03:21And I remember, I literally remember the feeling washing over me in my dorm bathroom.
03:27And I just lost it.
03:28I was sitting on the floor for maybe an hour and a half, hysterically crying.
03:32Just like, what am I going to do?
03:34Oh, my God.
03:35Like, I just, it was so terrifying to me.
03:38I had a boyfriend that was like a frickin' bartender, wild promoter.
03:44Like, he was not going to be a stable father.
03:47I had no friends.
03:48I was too scared to tell my mom.
03:50It certainly wasn't telling my dad.
03:52And I didn't know what to do.
03:53So I, like, researched.
03:55I literally went on my computer and was like, what do I do?
03:59Like, what do I do?
04:00I'm in college and a freshman pregnant.
04:01What do I do?
04:02And Planned Parenthood popped up.
04:04And my boyfriend at the time came up.
04:07And I had an abortion.
04:09It's saying those words out loud.
04:11It's hard.
04:12It makes me emotional.
04:13What was that process like for you at the time?
04:15You were 18.
04:17You went to Planned Parenthood.
04:18Terrifying.
04:19But also, I felt like I had support.
04:22I remember the doctor, the woman that was caring for me was like, you caught it early.
04:27There are options.
04:28I actually just was able to take these pills.
04:31She was like, you're going to bleed a lot.
04:33And I mean, I was terrified.
04:35And I was hysterically crying.
04:36But I felt supported in that moment that I had options.
04:39The fact that I was able to make a choice.
04:42Physically, it was awful because I saw everything.
04:45It wasn't like a surgery.
04:46I saw everything come out, which was just literally traumatizing.
04:50I never spoke to my boyfriend again.
04:53That was it?
04:54I couldn't.
04:55Like, something broke inside me and like, I just didn't even want to have any connection
05:00to it.
05:01And then I just drank a lot.
05:04Which is not unusual for a college freshman.
05:06Yeah, so like I forgot about it for a little while.
05:08Did you tell anybody in your life at the time besides your boyfriend?
05:11No one.
05:12Why?
05:13I think I was mortified.
05:14I think I was just like, what is wrong with me?
05:17Like, how could I let this happen?
05:19How could I be so stupid?
05:20There's so much shame around it.
05:21There's so many conflicting emotions that go into that process.
05:26And I think I just needed to get through it to even talk about it.
05:30When did you start telling people in your life?
05:31I told my mom after a year.
05:34And she...
05:35I'm going to cry.
05:39She was hysterical.
05:41Mostly because she wanted...
05:43She wished that she could have been there for me, you know?
05:45She was like, why didn't you tell me?
05:46And the most beautiful part about it was that she said, it happened to me too.
05:51It felt like women supporting women.
05:53Like even though she's my mom, like she wanted me to know.
05:56It's happened to me too.
05:57She really never talked to anyone about it either.
05:58And I found out she was, I think, 19 and terrified.
06:03She had just moved to LA.
06:05Like, you know, everybody has a story.
06:08I would bet that most girls have a similar story, even if it's just like plan B.
06:14You're a mom now.
06:15How do you feel your life would have been different if you didn't have that abortion?
06:18So that's where things for me get really tricky and really kind of sensitive.
06:23Because I am a mom, it like kind of breaks my heart, you know?
06:27Sorry.
06:28You got this.
06:29You got this.
06:30You got this.
06:31No, it's really powerful.
06:32I remember when I had my first child, looking at him thinking like, how could I have done that?
06:37I wouldn't be where I am right now.
06:39And I wouldn't be the mother to the children that I have right now if I hadn't have gotten
06:43an abortion when I was 18.
06:45At Glamour, we often don't hear from the men about their abortion story.
06:48We did a piece with GQ when Rovie Wade was in contention.
06:53And it was maybe some of the first time I've heard men share their stories.
06:56And it was interesting because I think the onus is like looking back as an 18-year-old
06:59Erin and being like, this is important because I tell him my story.
07:02But there was also the bartender promoter who heard about the story.
07:05Poor guy.
07:07And he came to school with me.
07:08He went through the whole thing with me.
07:11He really did.
07:12He was really supportive.
07:13And I think that's also something, I mean, not every guy is going to be this nice.
07:16But I think that's also something to think about.
07:18You know, like I did tell him about it.
07:20And I said, will you be there with me through the process?
07:23And he said, yes.
07:24So that was nice to have that support because it was both of our doing together.
07:27It's both your abortion story, not just yours.
07:29You say you love Shabbat dinner.
07:32You're out and about in New York.
07:33When you're at dinners like that, and whether they're friends or acquaintances or cast members
07:39and the topic of abortion has come up, have you stayed silent?
07:42Have you jumped in?
07:43Does it depend on the crowd?
07:44Well, it definitely depends on the crowd because typically my dad's at Shabbat dinner and he
07:48does not know.
07:49Your dad does not know?
07:50My dad does not know.
07:55How do you feel about him finding out?
07:57My dad is a single father of my four siblings and like for him, he doesn't care about anything
08:03except for us.
08:04Like kids are number one.
08:06So I feel like it's going to be a hard conversation.
08:09Will you tell him before?
08:10I guess.
08:11No, I think it's really interesting that, you know, you shared with your mom a year
08:16after and it is a interesting dynamic and we going back to what we talked about, men's
08:21abortion stories that you haven't shared, shared this story.
08:25I'm like, we're so close.
08:26I'm such a daddy's girl and I don't know, maybe it's a mix of like shame, embarrassment,
08:32but also like not wanting to upset him and just like not wanting him to know.
08:37And also like, it's not like my, I'm like, hey dad, I just had sex with my boyfriend.
08:40Like it's a weird thing to talk about anyway.
08:42And now he got me pregnant.
08:43Like, oh God.
08:45That's going to be an interesting conversation.
08:47Yeah.
08:48He'll be looking back at this woman who's a mother many years later.
08:52How do you think he'll take it?
08:53I don't know.
08:54I mean, I think he'll be really supportive.
08:56I think he'll understand why I'm doing it.
08:58My dad is very open-minded person, but it's still scary.
09:04It's still like, I wish I didn't have to talk about it with him, which is interesting because
09:08we talk about everything, but I don't know.
09:12It's different.
09:13We do know that one in four American women by the age of 45 will have an abortion, but
09:18at the same time, there's not a lot of stories out there.
09:21Why are you choosing to tell yours?
09:22I felt like if I didn't have this conversation and open up about it, I mean, what kind of,
09:28what kind of woman would I be?
09:29I think the more stories that are out there, especially from influential people, the more
09:34relatable this becomes and the more people can understand it.
09:37It really rocked my world.
09:39This whole, like, what's happening now in our environment.
09:42I mean, 21 states have banned some sort of part of the abortion process, if not all of it.
09:48Forget about just choice for girls like me, but what about someone who's suffering or,
09:54you know, has a high-risk pregnancy?
09:56I mean, it's just, it goes so far beyond just my experience, and it's scary.
10:01It's scary to be a woman.
10:02If such a fundamental right could be stripped from us, what else can?
10:10That's what's been going on in my mind.
10:12What else will be stripped from us as individuals?
10:16And the thought of more fundamental, especially in healthcare, rights being taken away really
10:22freaks me out.
10:24We shouldn't be forcing people to do anything they don't want to do, especially bring a
10:29life into this world.
10:30Look, I'll say this.
10:31I can understand the other side in the sense that a life is a precious thing, right?
10:36It shouldn't be a flippant decision.
10:38It's a precious thing, and, you know, it's a tough, tough decision.
10:43I think what people don't realize, or a lot of people that are pro-life feel like, you
10:48know, people are just making these decisions left and right, and it's like, you know, anyone
10:52can just go walk in and get an abortion.
10:54I think it's really difficult for women.
10:56And maybe not everybody talks about that.
10:58Have you had that conversation with somebody that's extremely-
11:00Where am I going to find one of those in New York?
11:04I've got to travel to find those people.
11:06We are in a little bit of a New York bubble.
11:08We are.
11:09Do you see it as a political issue?
11:10No, I don't.
11:11I see it as a health issue, a healthcare issue, even not for just women who are making a choice,
11:18but for people whose lives are at stake.
11:21I mean, there are life-threatening pregnancies sometimes.
11:26Abortions are necessary.
11:27Does that mean up and down the ballot, you will go for somebody that's more pro-abortion
11:32than-
11:33Yes.
11:34Do you think people will be surprised at that?
11:36I don't know anymore.
11:38I mean, listen, I think that what I don't love about our society is that people don't
11:44look at issues as complex.
11:46Maybe I have differing opinions on one topic, you know, or I can have empathy for the other
11:51side of things.
11:52But, you know, in this particular situation and this, you know, topic, I feel very, very
11:59strongly about.
12:00Does that mean that you want to vote Democrat in this election?
12:04I don't want to talk about how I want to vote, but I have always been a Democrat.
12:09Because there was a lot of conversation, and the first season, that was the kind of conversation
12:13that was happening in the background, not necessarily on set.
12:16How did that make you feel, or is there anything you want to clarify?
12:18Look, I think a lot of people are single-issue voters.
12:22I don't want to make that mistake again, but I was.
12:26I was thinking about my family, and I don't even know, I don't think I fully understood
12:33the implications.
12:34Yeah.
12:35I've obviously learned a lot since then.
12:36Do the other women on the cast of Real Housewives know your story?
12:41Nobody knows except for Rebecca.
12:44And do you think they will be surprised?
12:46Is that a consideration as you come in to tell this story?
12:49I actually feel really comfortable talking to them about it.
12:51Jenna was quoted in the cut defending you, saying that you were not an election denier,
12:56not a Trump voter.
12:57How does that make you feel?
12:59I'm very emotional today, what's happening.
13:02Jenna's been a really good friend, and I think we had some troubles this year, mostly because
13:07of someone else.
13:08I think that's why, partially, it was so hard for me to get through, you know, sort of a
13:13breakdown in our friendship, because she's been such a good friend, and so supportive,
13:17and she knows me.
13:18So for her to go into an article and really talk about me the way I actually am, because
13:23she knows me so well, it meant the world to me, you know?
13:27It really did.
13:28It made me fall in love with her a little more.
13:30There had been a lot of conversations about your previous donations to the Trump camp.
13:36We were at Women of the Year, and you posted a photo of Hillary Clinton and Chelsea Clinton
13:40online.
13:41Can you believe?
13:42There was a lot of discussion on that.
13:43How does that make you feel, and are you interested in telling people where you stand politically?
13:48I don't want to talk about politics, because I feel like I get in trouble.
13:52But what I will say is, I've admired Hillary Clinton, and I think Chelsea's wonderful,
13:58and I posted just a very cute video, I thought, and I got dragged, like, for days.
14:04For literally days.
14:05So it's like, you can't win.
14:07You just can't win, which is why I think I decided to be here today, because, you know,
14:11if you can't win anyway, you might as well just speak your truth.
14:14I don't know, I find it very interesting that no matter what, people have something to say.
14:18How are you going to protect yourself?
14:19I don't know.
14:20I'm a little nervous.
14:21I'll be honest.
14:22I am.
14:23With this in particular, I'm a little bit nervous.
14:24I definitely have a thicker skin.
14:26I hope that this is healing for women.
14:28I hope, you know, if there are girls watching this in states that are in question, that
14:33they know that I'm here supporting them with my story.
14:37I don't know what else I could do to...
14:39Obviously, I'm, you know, not in politics, but, you know, I did work in the state assembly.
14:43Did you ever run for office?
14:44I mean, maybe one day.
14:46Okay.
14:47I don't know.
14:48Probably not.
14:49Mayor of New York?
14:50No, but I know someone who may want to.
14:51Okay.
14:52Very close to me.
14:53Okay.
14:54It was a dream of his.
14:55Could you imagine?
14:56It's interesting, right?
14:57Yeah.
14:58Could you be a first lady of New York?
14:59That I could be.
15:00That I could do.
15:01All the outfits, I could do that.
15:02Erin, thank you so much for taking the time.
15:03Thank you for having me.
15:05And thank you for coming to Glamour to tell what is a really hard, but really personal
15:10story.
15:11We appreciate it.