“I started feeling the need to apologise for who I am.” Sara Ali Khan opened up about the change she saw in herself after doing a couple of films.
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00:00Overweight. I broke the weighing scale.
00:02What am I saying about overweight people? That's wrong, actually.
00:05What did you eat in order to become 96 kg?
00:08Just pizzas.
00:10Pizzas, burgers, triple chop.
00:30When I was studying in school, when I went to Columbia College, just generally I feel
00:42I was very unapologetically who I am.
00:45And even at the beginning of my career, when I was doing Kedar Nath, when I was doing Simba,
00:50I was very unapologetically who I am.
00:53And then maybe like after like a love aaj kal and a coolie happened, maybe suddenly I
00:58had reasons to apologize.
01:00And I took them very seriously.
01:02And suddenly I became just a little bit too aware and just a little too, you know, self-conscious
01:08in like a certain way.
01:10And I started feeling the need to apologize for who I am, which is not the way I want
01:16to be.
01:17Why did you feel a need to apologize?
01:19I don't really even know.
01:21Because I think that whether it's good films, bad films, part of being an actor is self-exploration,
01:27right?
01:28Like what do we do?
01:29We express ourselves, we emote, we go through different situations fictitiously.
01:35And we, in doing that, understand ourselves better, both on the deeper level of like,
01:41oh, if, you know, Rinku had to feel this, I as Sara have to feel that a little bit so
01:45that I can do justice to Anandji's set.
01:47That's one way.
01:48But also as actual human beings, we're put into high pressure situations, we see highs,
01:53we see lows, we see fame, we see scrutiny, all of that kind of changes you.
02:00It takes a toll on you.
02:01It gives you strength.
02:03So many different things happen.
02:05But ultimately, the point I'm trying to make is we should be allowed, we should allow ourselves
02:12to make mistakes.
02:13And I have made them in the past.
02:16Like what?
02:17Like my performance in Love Aaj Kal was really horrible.
02:23I was not convincing in Coolie.
02:27And I think that I am aware of that.
02:30I am aware of the fact that it's also an expectation game.
02:35After Kedarnath and Simba, me, my mother, my brother, audiences, everybody had a certain
02:40expectation because I was decent in these films.
02:43I did come out suddenly and it was like, oh my God, Sara.
02:46And then I gave you two back to back films where you're like, really, Sara?
02:51Being an actor is such a huge part of who I am, but it's not just who I am.
02:54It's up to you to be surrounded by people that keep you real.
02:58Like Ibrahim will come home and call me fatty no matter what.
03:01Even if I've just shot like Chaka Chak and you can see abs, like everybody can see them
03:05man.
03:06Come on, I was starving.
03:07I was literally fainting.
03:08Like don't call me fatty.
03:09And he's like, you will always be fatty.
03:11I'm like, fine.
03:12Might as well eat them.
03:14So, you know, yeah.
03:16I grew up overweight as well.
03:18Right.
03:19I wasn't overweight.
03:20I broke the weighing scale.
03:22There's a difference.
03:24There's a little fat kid inside me who still would die.
03:28It doesn't go on.
03:29Yeah.
03:30I would die to eat pizza even like today.
03:31I would die to like eat the same way I did.
03:33100% me too.
03:34And that fat complex is in the brain.
03:36Yeah.
03:37Forever.
03:38I think.
03:39Stays a little bit.
03:40Even I get a little conscious on camera just about that one thing.
03:42No, I get like, I told our DOP three times to take the camera higher because I just didn't
03:47want to be shot from here.
03:48When you wake up in the morning and you're like 85 kgs and nothing really fits, you're
03:52like 85 to 96.
03:54Like, what difference does it really make?
03:56Which is the worst way to be.
03:58And that's what started happening to me.
03:59Because I was in college and I was already fat.
04:02And I was like, so now fatter means what?
04:05Like fat is fat.
04:07So then let me just eat the brownie.
04:09Buy the brownie.
04:10Let me eat all the brownies.
04:12That started happening, which is something that like, obviously, like maybe with weight
04:16one has learned to control a little bit.
04:19Even though I do have problems with weight, I have problems with weight till now.
04:22Really?
04:23Yes.
04:24In Jan, I was overweight again.
04:26I was told to lose weight.
04:28Yeah.
04:29My thighs became chunky.
04:30My face became big.
04:31That does happen.
04:32I really have to be extremely mindful of what I'm eating.
04:35Go to Qatar with Ananya and you don't want to see her again for a month.
04:40Like we had pizza for lunch and sushi for dinner.
04:42I'm really like not forgiving her.
04:44She ordered the dessert and didn't eat it.
04:46I finished it.
04:47Hate her a little bit.
04:48Whatever.
04:49Maybe it was planned, sir.
04:51No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
04:53But, you know, it's important to keep staying on track with weight for me.
05:00Very important.
05:01Okay.
05:02Yeah.
05:03What got into you at that point in order to lose weight?
05:06Karan Johar.
05:07Really?
05:08He came home and said, I want to offer you a film.
05:10But you need to lose one third of you if I'm being polite.
05:15Half if I'm being accurate.
05:16And I said, okay, fine, I'll try.
05:18How much weight did you lose if you're okay?
05:2045 kgs plus.
05:21I was 96.
05:23And when I shot Sweetheart and Chaka Chak, I was 53, 54.
05:29That's like the weight.
05:30Right now I'm about 57.
05:32I'll be 56 by the time I'm on my set in a week.
05:3656 is okay to shoot 54 for songs.
05:39Damn.
05:40Okay.
05:41Yeah.
05:42What did you eat in order to become 96 kgs?
05:44Just pizzas, burgers, triple chocolate.
05:49You know, like today, if you told me I can have three triple chocolate chip brownies for breakfast,
05:54I would remember every bite.
05:56I don't even remember.
05:57I just inhale them like popcorn.
05:59Yeah.
06:00I know exactly what you mean.
06:02Motivation is required, though, for me.
06:04I'm somebody that works very hard on motivation.
06:07So when there's an end goal in mind, almost nothing is impossible.
06:10How do you motivate yourself, actually?
06:14By realizing also, you know, like I was huge, man.
06:17Like it was not healthy on any level.
06:20It was hormonally affecting me, which still happens.
06:23Every time I overeat, this and the other, whenever I'm touching that 60 kg mark,
06:27you can start seeing that I'm not feeling okay.
06:30Because this is a very real conversation, I'm going to tell you that out of everything you've said,
06:34this is the one thing that can get you into trouble,
06:36because right now the internet is sensitive about even this.
06:38But it's okay.
06:40What's the thing?
06:41That, oh, how could she say this about overweight people?
06:45But I think when you're overweight yourself, you have a ticket to say it.
06:48No, but what am I saying about overweight people that's wrong, actually?
06:51Like, I'm just saying that if you eat rubbish, it's going to affect your mental health also.
06:57Yeah.
06:58Because you're going to look in the mirror and be like, why am I doing this?
07:00And your hormones are going to go through the roof.
07:03I think that it's very important for overweight people to hear this.
07:06It's very important for overweight people.
07:08And nobody's saying that you need to be 54 kgs to shoot songs,
07:11because maybe you don't have to shoot songs.
07:13But you definitely should keep check on what you're eating,
07:16because it affects more than just your visual appearance.
07:19It affects your hormone balance.
07:21And that's extremely important.