Howard could get a PhD in burns. Welcome to MsMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the times Howard Wolowitz engineered the perfect burns & takedowns on “The Big Bang Theory.”
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00:00Is that gonna be on the test because I don't think I can do that again!
00:02Welcome to Miss Mojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the times Howard Wolowitz
00:07engineered the perfect burns and takedowns on the Big Bang Theory.
00:11Are you familiar with the 12 labors of Hercules?
00:16Number 10. Leonard's an idiot
00:18When Sheldon finds out Leonard didn't return an old video rental on time,
00:23he makes a deal to help Leonard understand just how uncomfortable these situations make him feel.
00:28You say it's itchy and uncomfortable. I say situations like this make me feel the same way.
00:33I'm telling you, try the hanger.
00:37Put it on. Let's share the experience.
00:40For once, Sheldon doesn't overreact, for reasons we find out later. But Leonard goes way overboard,
00:47trying to prove conflicts can be solved rationally while getting more irrational by the minute.
00:52Prove to Sheldon that you can have a problem and solve it
00:55without acting like a complete lunatic.
01:00Over takeout, Howard and Raj try to make sense of this whole thing,
01:04but Leonard's reasoning convinces no one.
01:06If anything, Howard's just trying to remind Leonard of the bigger picture here.
01:10You're just an idiot.
01:14It's called proving a point.
01:16Is the point you're an idiot?
01:17He also ends up being helpful when Leonard thinks he's hit a satisfactory dead end in his quest.
01:22That next to Ken thing sounds pretty good.
01:26I believe this is yours.
01:31Sheldon might understand many of the universe's secrets, but magic? That's a whole other story.
01:37It's a childish trick designed to confuse and intrigue simpletons.
01:43How'd you do it?
01:45A magician never reveals his secrets, but surely a future Nobel Prize winner can figure it out.
01:50In this episode, Howard has a field day messing with Sheldon
01:54by performing a card trick that leaves him completely stumped.
01:57And believe us, he tries everything to figure it out.
02:01Still, everyone loves watching him squirm.
02:04This deck is rigged in some fashion.
02:05Fine, get another deck and I'll do the trick with that.
02:07So you're saying this is a regulation deck?
02:09I'm saying believe in magic, you muggle.
02:11It's also hilarious watching Howard dumb things down for him.
02:14If you, like Sheldon, were wondering how it all worked,
02:17as Howard says earlier, a magician never reveals his tricks.
02:20Except this time, he does.
02:22And the word trick is key.
02:24It turns out that Howard and his buddies banded together to mess with Sheldon.
02:28And it works like a charm.
02:30Tear of hearts.
02:31I hate you.
02:36Imagine dedicating a huge chunk of your life to a fandom,
02:39only for someone to come along and burst your bubble.
02:42And if he weren't in the movie, the Nazis would have still found the Ark,
02:46taken it to the island, opened it up, and all died.
02:49Just like they did.
02:50After Amy points out a plot problem in Raiders of the Lost Ark,
02:54Sheldon makes it his mission to find flaws in the things she loves.
02:57When he tells his friends his plan,
02:59Howard suggests that he'd been accomplishing that long before the Raiders incident.
03:04Amy ruined Raiders of the Lost Ark for me.
03:06So now I'm trying to find something beloved to her and ruin that.
03:12Because her life wasn't enough?
03:13Then in another season,
03:15Amy and Howard team up to create a device that controls robotic limbs with brainwaves.
03:19While she explains the device to Howard,
03:22he bigs up her understanding of robotics based on her life choices.
03:25Her comeback is pretty snappy too.
03:27Control anything from wheelchairs to robots.
03:30Based on that ring on your finger, I'd say you're pretty good at controlling robots.
03:34Careful, that's my fiancé you're talking about.
03:37And I can program him to hurt you.
03:38Number 7. Burning Leonard's Love Life
03:41Hey, remember when Stuart and Penny dated?
03:44At first, Stuart manages to charm her.
03:46But their first date doesn't go so well, and he ends up asking Leonard for advice.
03:51You think she'll be expecting things to get physical?
03:58Oh, gee.
04:01My initial reaction is no.
04:03Only Leonard's still hoping to win Penny over.
04:06So he's not exactly jumping at the chance to help.
04:09Thankfully, Howard steps in with what he thinks is the perfect solution.
04:13Hey, wanna make sure he gets nowhere with Penny
04:15without jeopardizing your friendship with either of them?
04:19I'm listening.
04:20Just tell him to do everything you've done with her for the last two years.
04:24Is it a bit harsh?
04:25Sure.
04:26But in Howard's defense, it's not the worst advice out there.
04:29That said, we definitely wouldn't take relationship advice from him.
04:33Later, after Penny and Leonard have already dated and broken up,
04:36Howard makes a laser-sharp dig at Leonard while explaining the situation to Sheldon.
04:41It's very simple.
04:42Leonard was living in a little town called Please Don't Leave Me,
04:45while Penny had just moved to the island of Buh-Bye.
04:49Number 6. Teasing Raj to Breaking Point
04:52Howard and Raj might be besties.
04:54But do best friends constantly tear each other down?
04:57We'd hope not.
04:58Raj probably should have taken a huge step back
05:01after Howard made that joke in his time of need.
05:05It's so funny.
05:06Raj is looking for a cheap place to live, and I wrote India.
05:12Don't post that. Be supportive.
05:15Still, it takes Raj's dad to point out that Howard can be a pretty sucky friend.
05:19Even while Raj calls him out, he can't resist tossing out some mean jabs.
05:24I can see you're upset, but I'm gonna need some ground rules.
05:30While we're apart, can I see other needy Indian men?
05:33Get out!
05:34Instead of apologizing, he doubles down by not inviting Raj to Hallie's first birthday party,
05:39and then asking him to help organize it.
05:42You'd think this would be a wake-up call for Howard,
05:44but it doesn't take long for him to bounce back to his old ways.
05:48And thank you for mocking me for all of these years.
05:50Thank you for making it so easy!
05:52Number 5. Howard's Psycho Fantasy
05:56With Sheldon off in Texas, the gang starts to ponder
05:59how different their lives might have been without him It's a Wonderful Lifestyle.
06:03In one of the tangents, Bernadette figures that if she and Howard had never met,
06:07Howard would probably still be living with his mom.
06:10Howard, however, has some other ideas of how that reality might have looked.
06:14I know you're starving. The neighbors know you're starving.
06:17They're starving people in Africa who know you're starving!
06:23That's it? There's not enough food!
06:25Well, you cleaned out Earth! I don't know what else to do!
06:28At first, it doesn't seem all that different from the kind of interactions we'd heard in the past.
06:33However, then comes the big twist.
06:36Yes, the parent-child relationship can be contentious, but going full Hitchcock?
06:41Here you go, mother.
06:43You're a good boy, Howard! Such a good boy!
06:52Yikes!
06:53Amy has a follow-up question, but we're not sure we even want to know the answer.
06:57Did she die or did you kill her?
07:03Tomato, tomato.
07:04Number 4. Emily or Cinnamon?
07:06We think most of us will agree that Emily or Cinnamon is pretty funny.
07:11I invented a game. Want to play?
07:12Sure!
07:13It's called Emily or Cinnamon.
07:15I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say,
07:19and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.
07:23But just for a moment, let's put ourselves in Raj's shoes.
07:26It hasn't always been easy for him to find love,
07:29and it's actually not all that unusual for pet owners to form such close attachments
07:33to their fluffballs.
07:35Now imagine you're happily in love, you adore your little floof,
07:38and all your friends can do is make fun of your endless affection for both.
07:42Check it out! I got us matching sweaters!
07:44We all got the Christmas card, Cinnamon.
07:48You know, a man can care deeply about a woman and a pet. It's not strange.
07:53Emily, I heard him say that to Emily.
07:54Yeah, we wouldn't want to be in Raj's place either.
07:56That being said, it is one of this episode's funniest side plots,
08:00so I guess what we're saying is, we're here for the shade.
08:03Who wouldn't want to be the girl, or possibly dog, to hear the words?
08:08You're so lucky you have the shiniest hair.
08:12Number 3. Spitball Target
08:14Howard is so sharp-witted when it comes to dishing out savagery
08:17that sometimes it happens without him even trying.
08:20Like the time he agrees to be Sheldon's student when no one else shows up to class.
08:24Guess what? Engineers are just as smart as physicists.
08:27You take that back!
08:33No.
08:34Only he finds out that Sheldon is hell-bent on making it unnecessarily challenging.
08:39So Howard decides to be the world's worst student.
08:42His antics to disrupt the class are absolutely hilarious.
08:46What are you doing?
08:47If you're gonna be a crappy teacher, then I'm gonna be a crappy student.
08:51Uh, uh, ludicrous going in on the verse,
08:53cause I've never been a feeder and I won't stop now.
08:54Yeah, well now stop it!
08:55But the highlight has to be that unintentional, perfectly aimed spitball.
09:00Shooting his saliva straight into Sheldon's mouth,
09:03who's a notorious germaphobe, was brilliantly cruel.
09:06And just when you think it can't get any better,
09:08Howard follows up with a zinger that's like hitting the bullseye twice.
09:13You shot your spit in my mouth!
09:15Is that gonna be on the test, because I don't think I can do that again!
09:18No. 2. Getting personal with Sheldon's spot.
09:22Sheldon and Howard's feuds are often hilarious,
09:25but few are as funny as the parking spot argument.
09:28You don't even drive.
09:29It doesn't matter. That's my spot.
09:33Maybe they reassigned it because you never use it.
09:35Well, I'm not using my nipples either, maybe you should reassign those.
09:38Rational arguments do nothing for Sheldon,
09:41who escalates things by stealing Howard's attention.
09:44Sheldon and Howard are best friends by stealing Howard's Iron Man mask.
09:48This ignites a hilarious exchange of blows between them.
09:51The funniest is when Sheldon returns home to find Howard getting cozy in his beloved spot.
09:57As any Big Bang fan knows, Sheldon doesn't like anyone sitting in his spot,
10:01even if they're wearing pants.
10:03Howard, what are you doing?
10:06He wasn't using it.
10:07I needed a nice cool piece of leather to wiggle my naked ass on.
10:11Later, we see Howard nudge Sheldon out of the way with his car,
10:15but arguably, that's only the second most brutal move in this feud.
10:19Sheldon gets his revenge, but let's not forget where he got the inspiration.
10:24I have to say, I thought you'd be more upset that your laptop is sitting on my junk.
10:32I didn't pick up on that. That's a nice touch.
10:33Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.
10:40Starting the down-on-their-luck club.
10:42No one knows how to kick a person while they're down quite like Howard.
10:45Hey, look at that. You got a Raj. We got a Stuart.
10:48Maybe we should take them both to the park and let them run around together.
10:51C3 Pee-wee Herman.
10:53Mean? Maybe. Do we see it? Kind of.
10:57Ten years ago, upon first seeing me, your husband claimed that I looked like C3PO and Pee-wee Herman.
11:04And he called me C3 Pee-wee Herman.
11:08A true friend. It takes a whole new level of friendship to not care that much.
11:13My power is the ability to pretend like I give a damn about your piddly ass problems.
11:24And that's 24-7, buddy.
11:26Howard builds a crossbow.
11:28Three months in the North Pole with Sheldon can make a man consider unspeakable things.
11:32You're all off-duty.
11:34I suggest you keep the shenanigans to a minimum as medical help is 18 hours away by dog sled.
11:41What are you working on?
11:42Crossbow.
11:43Halloween costume.
11:44Nothing scarier than a lecture from Sheldon or a Sheldon look-alike.
11:49Interesting fact. Irritable comes from the Latin, susceptible to anger.
11:54Just because I used a word doesn't mean I want its etymology.
11:57Interesting fact. Etymology comes from the Greek.
12:00You are being so annoying. Stop it.
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12:18Number 1. The 12 Labors of Hercules
12:22Sheldon's constant belittling of Howard was always bound to come back to bite him.
12:26Howard, you go ahead and eat. This isn't going to make any sense to you.
12:32Sheldon, I have a working understanding of physics.
12:34Yeah, good for you, and don't stop working on it.
12:36Howard's plan here is so savage that it's like he's getting back at Sheldon for
12:40every mean thing he's ever said, and anything else he might say in the future.
12:45When Stephen Hawking comes to town,
12:47Howard makes Sheldon jump through hoops before he agrees to make any introduction.
12:51Are you familiar with the 12 Labors of Hercules?
12:57Of course.
12:59You should be so lucky.
13:00Whether it's making Sheldon clean his belt buckles from their splash zone stains,
13:05do his laundry, fill in for Bernadette on a shopping trip with Mrs. Wolowitz,
13:09or wear that maid's outfit, take your pick.
13:12These tasks are all brutal, and we thought Eurystheus was tough on Hercules.
13:17What are you all staring at?
13:19You ever seen a man try to get a meeting with Stephen Hawking before?
13:26Which moment do you think shows Howard at his most savage?
13:29Let us know in the comments.
13:31You don't need a parking space, you don't have a car.
13:34You don't need an Iron Man helmet, you're not Iron Man!
13:39Well, we appear to have reached an impasse.
13:42Do you agree with our picks?
13:43Check out this other recent clip from Ms. Mojo.
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