نان پی ٹی اے پاکستانی سپائیڈر مین لاہور میں سبزیاں بیچنے پر مجبور
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00:00Assalam-o-Alaikum, Daily Pakistan ke saath, main hu aapke apni host Zahrameen, naazim
00:22aapne baahar ki country mein grezo ka Spider-Man dekha hoga jo badi-badi buildings mein logon
00:26ki help karte hain, maine dekha ki Spider-Man logon ki help toh karein, lekin uske saath-saath
00:32khans toh our clinic mein gaye hain, aayi Spider-Man se baat karte ho, jaante hain,
00:35ki bhajaye aap logon ko hospital leke jayein, logon aapko udha ke hospital chod ke aarein,
00:39toh wajah kya hai?
00:42Assalam-o-Alaikum
00:44Waheghazir hai
00:46Spider-Man bhai, bhajaye aap logon ko hospital leke jayein, aap khud hi iss jagah pe laga
00:51Madam, main Pakistan mein faas ki hain, mujhe smoke ka problem ho gayi hain,
00:56mere thepade bicharein mujhe gaaliyan nika rahein, ki tum kaha raha hain, itni smoke,
01:01thepado ke andar smoke goon
01:02Spider-Man phir kis naam ki hai, jab aapne bhi saath hi bimaar ho?
01:05Bas ji, main apne world tour pe nikla tha, Pakistan mein mujhe smoke nazar aayi,
01:08main udhar bhi moshu kya gir gaya, ab, ab saath bhi nahi aayi, dard tu bhi nahi aayi
01:15Bataye, smoke ka hal kya aayi aapki nahi?
01:17Smoke ka hal hi yeh hai, kis pal doctor sahab mujhe theek karenge,
01:20phir main jala maarunga, phir baag laayenge, phir baarish ho jayegi
01:24Doctor sahab, ilaaj mumkeen hai inka?
01:26Inshallah, medicine milege to theek ho jayega
01:29Theeka bhi keh rahe hai
01:29Theeka bhi lagega
01:31Kehte, jinne Lahore nahi bekhe ho, jamee hai nahi, tussi bekhe Lahore
01:33Main Lahore bekhe jam bhi kiya hain, bichara prishaan bhi ho gaye hain,
01:36te raag, main te maran wala ho gaye hain,
01:39mera khang khang ke meri thepade manu galaan kar rahe hain
01:46Smoke ne maarta hai mujhe
01:47Achha
01:48Bahar ke Spider-Man aur Pakistan ke Spider-Man mein kya farq hai?
01:51Dekhe ji, bahar itni achhi aabu hawaa thi,
01:55main anaam se goomta phirta tha, chhatoon pe, sadkoon pe, buildings mein
01:59Idhar to, bas bohut hi halaat kar raha hai,
02:02smoke mein udne ke koshish karta, smoke aa jati,
02:04mujhe apna haath hi nahi dar raha tha,
02:05mera thepade mujhe gaaliyaan nikaalte
02:10Maryam Nawaz to chale gayi hai, unhe mera se deal nahi ki thi na,
02:12agar mere se deal karein to,
02:14main maarung jala, main laaung baadal,
02:16idhar ho jaye baarish,
02:17lekin wo mere se deal nahi karein
02:19Acha yeh bataayega, aapne sir ke upar cap bhi liye,
02:21wo iska kya maqsad hai?
02:22Yeh protection bhi hai,
02:24aur yeh aapka Pakistani-Musliman Spider-Man
02:28Humne aapko har tarang kaam karte dekha hai,
02:30wiper maarte ho,
02:31landa lagate ho,
02:32uske alaaba machhli karte ho,
02:34sabzi,
02:34matne nahla paani bhi leke aap phir rahe the,
02:36yeh kya maajur hai,
02:37yeh kis tarang Spider-Man hai?
02:38Dekhe ji, maamla yeh,
02:39ke jab main,
02:40Low-budget Spider-Man to nahi?
02:41Low-budget non-PTA,
02:43chasta Spider-Man hai yeh,
02:45philhaal to yeh mehngi dawaiyan bahut hai,
02:47pata nahi kya lik diya hai isne,
02:48ab sardiyan aa rahi hai,
02:49koi machhli-machhli lagaunga,
02:50taaki apni dawai ka kota kar sukoon,
02:52tazi machhi, tazi machhi,
02:54machhiye le!
02:56Dawai pe itni,
02:57isme likha ho hai,
02:58bill bana ho hai,
02:59yeh kaise denge?
03:00Ab yeh hi rahenge,
03:01ek Spider-Man,
03:01bichara apna gurda bechde,
03:03ek gurda bechde,
03:04ek gurde to bichara lehde,
03:06yeh hi rahenge,
03:06ab Pakistan me to.
03:07Kistana ki logon ki madad karte hain?
03:08Kiske koi koode wala nahi aa raha,
03:10to Spider-Man koode wala ban jate hain,
03:12dekhe na,
03:12madad hai na apni awaam ki.
03:14Baahir ko jab Spider-Man dekhte hain,
03:15yeh matlab bachata dole shola ban jate hain.
03:17Meri tiddi baha nikalge Pakistan,
03:19pata chale,
03:19khaate peete ghar ka Spider-Man,
03:21Pakistan hai!
03:23Aaj kal gurba chahiye,
03:24doosra nahi keh diya hai ki jee,
03:268 baje band karein marketein,
03:28lockdown.
03:29Main thora koi karbaar shuru karte hain,
03:30toh se daal aa jate hain.
03:32Super-Man kyu nahi banne,
03:33Batman kyu nahi banne,
03:34yeh kyu banne?
03:35Spider-Man joh hai na,
03:36woh full common hai.
03:37Acha?
03:38Bichara yeh kabar mein,
03:39jiski latte latki hongi na,
03:40babe ke,
03:40unhone bhi pata hai kya Spider-Man hai.
03:42Toh yeh da jal hai.
03:43Samajh raho?
03:43Samajh raho?
03:44Samajh raho na?
03:45Itne ghar ke jal hai,
03:46kabhi utaare hi nahi utaate.
03:47Nahi, apne ghar mein,
03:48main jal hai lagata bhi,
03:49utaarta bhi,
03:50aur ammi se gaaliyan bhi sunge.
03:51Banke aaj kal meri amma,
03:53meri amma mere liye rishta dhundh rahi hai,
03:54ke koi Spider-Man female mil jaye.
03:57Kaun sa kaam karte hain,
03:57aapko shuram aati,
03:58ke aaye nahi karna?
03:59Thor dir pehle,
04:00main letha waha tha,
04:00apna rest kar raha tha,
04:01usne mujhe kaha,
04:02ke bhai,
04:03kooda aaya hai,
04:03kooda utha waha.
04:04Main bhai,
04:04main Spider-Man hu,
04:05main Super-Hero,
04:06main kooda aala nahi hu.
04:07Lekin,
04:07main baad mein video mein,
04:08aapko uthaate bhi dekha.
04:09Woh toh ji,
04:09madad toh kar nahi hai na,
04:10kyun bohot saari aantiyaan,
04:12prashand rehti hain,
04:13ke aamare kooda aala nahi aata,
04:14paise lehne,
04:14woh time pe aaja tha,
04:15lekin kooda uthaane,
04:16woh aata nahi hai.
04:18Yeh kooda kisne chukne?
04:20Main Spider-Man hu,
04:20kooda aala nahi hu.
04:22Kisi ke kooda aala nahi aara,
04:23toh Spider-Man hu,
04:24kooda uthaayega.
04:26Internet ka bada masla hai?
04:27Main ek do tafa chadha tha ji,
04:28main udne ek koshish kiya tha,
04:30ek net ki taar uthar giye,
04:31usne mujhe aisi galiye nikali,
04:32phir aimi mujhe,
04:332500 rupiah bharna padagaya uska.
04:35Yeh pata hai,
04:35aapke bhi ghar ka bil zyada aata hai?
04:37Madam, na puch.
04:39Boota bil aanda hai?
04:40Boota bil aanda hai,
04:41main toh mere toh jale bhi nikal gaye.
04:43Ghee bhi mehnga ho gaye ab toh,
04:45ab toh bhukh zara bahut mushkil ho gaye.
04:46Sare ghee wale paratha bhi nahi kaasate,
04:47ki takat ukat aaye,
04:48koi uchhal kuch kar sake.
04:49Dekhein main kamzoor ho gaye,
04:50mera pet abhi andar chala gaye.
04:51Toh desi ghee khaya karein,
04:53aap logon ke madad kartein.
04:54Madam, desi ghee kahan,
04:55kahan se khaun,
04:55udhar doosra nahi aata hai,
04:56chini mehngai hui hai,
04:57bandein picharein mar rahein gareebi mein.
05:01Abhi ghee ka rate ho keh rahein,
05:02ki bad bhad gaya hai bhai.
05:04Spider-Man ko dekho,
05:05kuch takat aayegi,
05:06koi ghee sasta karo.
05:07Abko Pakistan ke Spider-Man
05:09sirf mein malwaya,
05:10unhone unko smoke ke hawaise
05:11kis tarah ki masaal ka saamna karna par raha tha,
05:13wo bhi aapne suna hi si,
05:14kis aapni host ne,
05:14himne ko deh jaadat,
05:15phir aaj durungi kis ne
05:16program ki saath.
05:17Tab tak ke liye,
05:17Allah hafiz.
05:18Bye-bye.