Explosive fights, name calling, and scandalous rumors — Rachael Ray and John Cusimano have been together since 2005, but their marriage is far from perfect.
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00:00Explosive fights, name-calling, and scandalous rumors — Rachel Ray and
00:05John Cusimano have been together since 2005, but their marriage is far from perfect.
00:10Although Rachel Ray is now a household name, the cook was not always famous. Back in 2001,
00:15Ray got her big break in the television industry, transforming her from a niche specialist to a
00:20national treasure. At the time, she was already considered a successful cookbook writer as she
00:24had sold more than 10,000 copies of her work. However, her true fame arrived that same year,
00:29when the Food Network invited her to host the cooking show 30 Minute Meals.
00:33The program, which focused on easy recipes, ran for an impressive 11 seasons.
00:37The series was also revived in 2019 following a seven-year break. When Ray first met Cusimano
00:42in 2001, she was hardly an unknown figure. Foodies across the country considered her a key source
00:47when it came to finding quick and easy recipes, and Cusimano was an enthusiastic home cook who
00:52enjoyed cookbooks and food tips. Despite this, Cusimano apparently hadn't heard of Ray before
00:56meeting her. Ray revealed on her podcast, I'll Sleep When I'm Dead,
01:00When we met, he had no idea what I did, and I thought he was gay.
01:03After Cusimano told her about a dinner he'd made, Ray reasoned,
01:07There's no way a straight guy knows what tilapia is. Or he was trying to spice it
01:10up with some homemade tomatillo salsa, and he made mackay shu spilling out of an avocado on the side.
01:16Not your average meat-cute, that's for sure.
01:18Although Cusimano and Ray's first encounter may have been a bit odd,
01:21the two eventually started dating. They fell in love and began to discuss the possibility
01:26of a shared future. Eventually, Cusimano decided that it was time to pop the question,
01:30but he didn't exactly go about it in the most romantic way.
01:33Speaking on The Rachael Ray Show, Ray admitted that Cusimano didn't organize
01:37a special dinner to propose. Instead, he waited until Ray was in tears to make his move.
01:41Ray said on her show that she was crying because their apartment was under construction,
01:45and it wasn't going to be finished in time for the holidays.
01:49And my sweet John chose my homecoming to break it to me that the house wasn't going to be done.
01:57Desperate to change the atmosphere, Cusimano decided to reveal the ring. However,
02:01he didn't get down on one knee.
02:03And I burst into tears and he was trying to make me stop crying, so he threw the ring box at my head.
02:09As unorthodox as Cusimano's proposal may have been, Ray didn't seem to mind.
02:14And I don't remember what he said, but I told him he had to call my mother and tell her.
02:19In 2005, Ray and Cusimano said,
02:21"'I do' in a romantic ceremony in Tuscany. As far as outsiders could see, the newlyweds
02:26oozed wedded bliss. They were successful, happy, and deeply in love. Or, at least,
02:31that's how they seemed."
02:32Just months after Ray and Cusimano's wedding,
02:34the National Enquirer insisted that the couple was already struggling with infidelity.
02:39Reportedly, a Florida woman by the name of Janine Walls claimed that she had engaged in
02:43a five-year-long affair with Cusimano. Part of this affair, she said, occurred after Cusimano
02:47had already married Ray. The National Enquirer also alleged that Cusimano had contracted the
02:52services of a sex worker. Ray and her new husband were apparently shocked by these tabloid reports.
02:57Speaking to Extra, Ray denied any sort of problems in her relationship, adding,
03:01"'I don't know where they come from. I really don't. We couldn't be happier.'"
03:04The television star also revealed,
03:06"'You know, when I read the interview rumors about the end of my marriage,
03:09I was toasting my husband on the first three days we've had off together
03:12in about six months of work. We were having margaritas that he had just made for us.'"
03:17Although Cusimano and Ray insist that they are happy together,
03:20the couple does not deny that they have clashing personalities. Ray has gone on
03:24the record stating that she and her husband are very turbulent people,
03:27a factor, she says, adds tension to their marriage.
03:30"'We're both really volatile, and I think that's a good thing.'"
03:35She went on to explain that she and her hubby argue often. Cusimano agreed with this assessment.
03:40"'I think we —'
03:41"'We have like a steam valve, we let it off, everyone's like, shh!''
03:44"'And, and —'
03:45Because Ray and Cusimano are so volatile, they often find themselves involved in arguments.
03:50Unfortunately, however, most of their disagreements do not take place in a cool,
03:54calm, and collected way. Instead, the pair are known to grow quite heated and even raise their
03:58voices during discussions. Chatting about this matter on the I'll Sleep When I'm Dead podcast,
04:03Ray revealed,
04:04"'It's very hard, especially for hot-tempered or creative or vociferous,
04:07loud people, to be able to just calm it down. John and I don't calm it down,
04:11ever. We have huge, screaming matches all the time, but I think that's healthy. I really do,
04:16and I don't trust people that are too quiet.'"
04:18Ray and Cusimano may not even be able to go a day without a disagreement.
04:23"'We pop that zit every morning, you know what I mean? Like,
04:26at some point during the day, one of us will snap at the other, but —'
04:30All the frequent fighting between Ray and Cusimano definitely represents a major red flag.
04:34However, the couple still manages to work together despite all their issues.
04:38Ray told People magazine,
04:39"'We have volatile personalities, but we're both very practical, too.
04:43That's the lawyer side of him and the domestic side of me. We're like,
04:46these are the things that must be accomplished today.'"
04:49Ray and Cusimano may fight constantly, but that doesn't mean they apologize to each other often.
04:53Ray says that apologies are not really a part of her marriage. As she shared on the
04:57I'll Sleep When I'm Dead podcast,
04:59"'I don't know that we ever apologize to each other. Eventually,
05:02I pat him on the ass or he kisses me on the head, and that's just sort of it,
05:06that's the apology. It's just sort of understood. I still like your ass,
05:09I still like your head. It's kind of in that zone.'"
05:12As much as Ray and Cusimano have insisted that their marriage is happy and healthy,
05:16the couple has not been able to prevent the tabloids from spinning stories about
05:19their relationship. Accusations of infidelity have haunted them time and time again.
05:24In 2013, the National Enquirer claimed Cusimano had been spotted at a swingers club without his
05:29wife. A source told the tabloid,
05:30"'After a bit of socializing at the buffet and the bar, John would always make his way to the
05:34back room, and every time he was observed in the co-ed locker room, he never took a shower alone.'"
05:39Once again, Ray and Cusimano denied the rumors, but this time,
05:43they came out and said the National Enquirer stories were actively harming them as a couple.
05:47A representative for Ray even told Fox News that Cusimano was exploring the idea of a lawsuit,
05:52saying,
05:53"'John's lawyers have been in contact with the
05:54Enquirer and are exploring legal action against the publication for defamation.'"
05:59Many couples believe that living separate lives is akin to a separation. Ray and Cusimano,
06:04though, don't take things so seriously. The couple has been known to spend considerable
06:08amounts of time focused on their own individual projects, and, according to them, that isn't a
06:12bad thing. Speaking on this matter with People, Ray revealed,
06:15"'I can't give a man an enormous amount of attention, and John is totally down with that.
06:20When men I have dated over the years whined about,
06:22"'Oh, you make no time for me.' See ya, I just dumped them. I don't need that pressure in my life.'"
06:27Rachel Ray and John Cusimano's marriage is far from conventional. They scream and shout,
06:32releasing all of their negative emotions during their fights. They label their volatility healthy,
06:37and sometimes, Ray even calls Cusimano names. On the occasion of her 15th wedding anniversary,
06:42Ray told People,
06:43"'When we are mad at each other, we scream. If John is being an a**hole,
06:46I tell him. Then I feel better. And John does the same thing. We share a great sense of humor,
06:51which helps.'"
06:52The married couple also appears to enjoy many of the same bad behaviors,
06:55and they are happy to engage in these guilty pleasures together. In a conversation with People,
07:00Ray shared,
07:00"[We find it sexy to share bad behavior, like staying up too late, eating the wrong foods,
07:05and listening to loud music, rap, opera, and any of our 3,000 records,
07:09wherever we are. We love being together and not acting our age."
07:13"'And we have a sense of humor, and we don't really have rules.'"
07:18Although it might be fun to stay up until 2 o'clock in the morning,
07:21eating one of Ray's hit dishes, this behavior is not necessarily healthy.
07:24According to some psychologists, partners who facilitate each other's unhealthy habits
07:28may actually be enabling, and this is not always beneficial to anyone in the relationship.
07:33As explained by the Cleveland Clinic,
07:35"...enabling happens when you justify or support problematic behaviors in a loved one
07:39under the guise that you're helping them."
07:41While Ray and Cusimano may think that they are helping each other enjoy life,
07:44they may also be encouraging each other to engage in unhealthy habits.