Nowhere 1997
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You
00:00:30You
00:00:43La is like nowhere everybody who lives here is lost
00:01:00You
00:01:30You
00:02:00You
00:02:30You
00:02:56Hey dark, hey what no
00:03:00Yeah
00:03:11Back
00:03:17Thank me
00:03:30Oh
00:03:36My name is Montgomery
00:03:39I
00:03:40Got to take this where it is. I've ever seen. Oh, it's like I could just come right in
00:04:00Oh
00:04:30Oh
00:04:37Dark
00:04:39Are you in there flogging a puppy again?
00:04:43Let me in I gotta wash this crap off my face
00:04:46Mom, can you wait just a sec, please, honey?
00:04:48I have to rot my life away in a nine-to-five hellhole to support your lazy
00:04:54juvenile delinquent ass remember
00:04:56Sweetheart chipmunk, my little ray of sunshine
00:05:04Open up this mother-hoppin door
00:05:11Jesus can you hold on?
00:05:18Cripes it's soggy as an armpit in here. How long have you been in that shower abusing yourself?
00:05:23How long have you been in that shower abusing yourself you pump your handle too much on man, it's gonna wither up and fall off
00:05:53Oh
00:06:12Well, I got to make a documentary about somebody I care about it's due next Wednesday
00:06:17Whoever said you care about me. Anyways, did I give you my cat and crunch decoder ring back in the sixth grade?
00:06:23That was Angelique Tewksbury dork ball. Oh
00:06:27Hey take your shirt off
00:06:30Come on, I don't give the professor Starkweather a boner and he'll give me an a I'm sure take your prozac dark
00:06:38No, think of the scandal everyone in class will be all outraged
00:06:46Is this what you want to say
00:06:53City morgue you stab and we slab them
00:06:57Need a ride to class
00:06:59I'm not going dark. You were totally gonna bite the holy credits. You're retaking this semester. I
00:07:05Got some editing to do on my one-on-one project. I'll probably head over to the hole for some chow
00:07:09Oh, maybe I'll go with I just got my period. I'm in full-tilt pig-out mode
00:07:13Oh and make sure you edit my boobs out. I do not want to be Wally on campus oglin my chimichangas
00:07:20Hey
00:07:21Lucifer's not with you. Is she stomach seen her butt ugly likeness this early in the day like my box
00:07:26Throw her clean the maggots out of it first you stinky oyster you guys. I mean it Mel
00:07:31I did not want to have to look at that tarantula woman over my morning. Espresso. Don't be a seizure Queen
00:07:37Pick you up in like 15. No, I told you I'm editing. See you lover boy
00:07:43You can tell you to frog that annoying butler when you have someone that's sexy you notice me around
00:07:48What would life be without a little mistress?
00:07:51No
00:07:52Wow, you weren't just done in there. What I gotta whiz like a busted firehose
00:08:02Nali
00:08:08By
00:08:10Rosehall
00:08:13So
00:08:16Tonight
00:08:17Please zero. Did you hear about it?
00:08:20Hey you
00:08:22You're not invited trim scan. You're barely old enough to shave
00:08:26fell for me
00:08:29Come on I got a date with Zoey and she totally wants to go. I already scored the car for mom
00:08:35life sucks
00:08:38I've got these cubious zits sprouting right in the middle of my forehead
00:08:43It's gonna be a full-on third eye by the time we get to the JuJu fruits party
00:08:46Hate that what I hate is when you get a zit way down in your back in a spot where you can't even reach to
00:08:52Pop it you pop a zit on your forehead. You can get blood poisoning and die
00:08:56You know Lucifer you are so dumb. You should donate your brain to a monkey science fair
00:09:00I read it in mouth-to-mouth squirtle fungus
00:09:04Mel what's this?
00:09:07What dark being born
00:09:10Sure
00:09:12Yuck yuck yuck
00:09:18Whoa Mel back it up
00:09:30Need a lift
00:09:31Well, you're in my modern society class, aren't you?
00:09:35Yeah, I think name's dark. It's dark like absence of light or dark like we come
00:09:41Cram it for a burger. This is Mel loudmouth hag is Lucifer
00:09:47What Montgomery? We're on our way to the hole for some breakfast. You want to join? I
00:09:53Kind of a class we quick and drop you
00:09:58Come on
00:10:01So, what's with the camcorder are you in film class dark things is gonna be the next Clyde Barker, right?
00:10:08Eat my turbo. Will you Lucifer?
00:10:11actually
00:10:13Convince them to die soon like a spectacular plane crash
00:10:17Fire chemical explosion. I don't want to film it
00:10:20So be like this cool record of my own death, so take my camera with me wherever I go. Isn't that just so
00:10:26Bitchin you please just shut up
00:10:30How do you know?
00:10:32Know what that you're gonna, you know
00:10:35Feel it
00:10:38Like a premonition you mean premonition
00:10:45Whatever no, I don't understand. How can you have one if you don't even know how to pronounce the friggin words?
00:10:49I'm about to lose my temper Lucifer and I am gonna deck you
00:10:54You guys
00:11:09What are you doing here aren't you supposed to be in thermonuclear catastrophes class? Yeah
00:11:18Hey
00:11:23Do you know what today is
00:11:26Friday no dodo bird. It's Armageddon Day
00:11:31The day the world's supposed to end
00:11:34Like have you ever heard of the rapture?
00:11:36the Susie and the banshees
00:11:39No, it's like this radical religious movement in South Cambodia
00:11:44And all these thousands of people are giving up their worldly possessions and leaving their families all in preparation
00:11:51For the rapture ascending into heaven on the day that Christ returns to earth and the world is destroyed
00:11:58and according to those scriptures
00:12:01Today is that day
00:12:06I don't know. Are you gonna join us back here on planet Earth sometime this decade or what?
00:12:12Hi
00:12:18Montgomery hi. Hey, listen me and egg. I've been waiting for like eons. I'm coming
00:12:24Dingbat, can you help me study for my history of lethal epidemics midterm? Yeah
00:12:30Sunday 9-ish
00:12:33Are you going to the kick the can came today?
00:12:36Yes
00:12:38Come on, I'm fully prepared to pork major
00:12:40I'm Montgomery
00:12:45I'm gonna burn these calories fast before I blow up
00:12:49Let's go rollerblading or something brother. My ball hairs burned off with an acetylene torch
00:12:54Well, I can be arranged
00:12:58I'd better get back to class. Are you okay, man? You look kind of pale
00:13:03Yeah, I'm fine. I
00:13:06Gotta go. Well, we're on our way out. We'll drive you
00:13:10You sure you don't want to come with I
00:13:13Think I'm gonna go to the record store. How now brown cow cowboy
00:13:21So I'll see you later, yeah, hey you guys playing kick the can tonight, huh?
00:13:27Kick the can at 10 o'clock in the old baseball field before did you put the party man? You're it gonna be there, right?
00:13:34sure
00:13:35Let's evacuate please. Hey, don't forget our gig at the butt crack next Wednesday
00:13:40Who's opening?
00:13:41Sandy Duncan's I and Jane Mansfield's head
00:13:45Well, not the drummer for Sandy Duncan's I had a party breaks like a barnyard animal. So come late then and just see us
00:13:56Hey, have you seen Bart around today?
00:14:01You know, we were supposed to rehearse this morning and he like totally flaked again
00:14:08I'm sorry boy. I haven't seen you in a golden age. I've been busy
00:14:14Busy Jones, huh?
00:14:23Come on handjob quit screwing around
00:14:29Hey Bart, don't do it with the pleasure
00:14:33This is cozy
00:14:35We were hoping you were here for an appointment
00:14:39For me and handjob. We're just concocting a bit of business
00:14:45Isn't that a humongous bum Chris
00:14:49Bart's here for my brand of bliss today ladies. I don't know what to do
00:14:56It's hard enough being in a band with your boyfriend
00:14:58But when stuff like this starts happening, I mean, what am I supposed to do find him
00:15:05Break up at least
00:15:08Okay, ladies
00:15:17Scarf
00:15:19I
00:15:27See what's up with my video man
00:15:30I'm still in the conceptualizing stages
00:15:32Don't worry. It's gonna blow your testes off. Yeah, you and Bart are like trapped inside this like gigantic
00:15:39slimy uterus
00:15:41I
00:15:46You gonna promise my mom I'd stop for a week you I'm just gonna do a bunch of speed later and not eat for like
00:15:54three days
00:16:11I
00:16:41Oh
00:17:03Sorry
00:17:11My god
00:17:13Well, I guess I better go and hunt for him. Can you drop me the urns? I want to score the new dead puppies CD. Sure
00:17:22Wait
00:17:24I'm sorry. The door was unlocked and I forget about it
00:17:29What's your name
00:17:31Egg
00:17:32Well, I mean my real name is Polly, but my friends all call me egg egg
00:17:38We be I know but it just kind of stuck well, hi egg, I'm I know who you are
00:17:44I'm not from another dimension
00:17:51He looks shorter in person so what he's still a total definition of yummy. Oh
00:17:56My god, what did he say?
00:17:58Nothing, really. He just
00:18:01Invited me to go for a walk. What? Hey, did you hear what happened to Marcus?
00:18:05His butthole fell out and he has to have surgery Oh Henry
00:18:26Are we still in reality my palm itches where's your twin brother shed?
00:18:35Oh
00:18:40Yeah
00:18:48Have I ever told you that I love you stow it and pay the lady shed
00:19:05Oh
00:19:30Okay, look who it is
00:19:32Oh
00:19:34Hey Jana, isn't that your muff diving little sister over there with her disgusting Bosco flavored girlfriend
00:19:41Inserted in your clammy crevice. Will you Shannon?
00:19:46Yeah, I think I need to pump up again I can use a firm up to
00:19:53Pukety this shouldn't make it better
00:20:03Oh, what are you gonna wear to gingerfritz party tonight clothes
00:20:10Can I buy you human sexology nuts from last Friday, am I like the only person on this cosmic plane whoever goes to the class
00:20:18Good do you think Montgomery likes me?
00:20:22He's weird. Thanks. Oh, Alyssa
00:20:26Hey, Jackie, hi Jackie
00:20:29I
00:20:31Just woke up
00:20:33really
00:20:34You guys hear Muriel's and Cedar Sinai?
00:20:36Who's Muriel my stepmom?
00:20:38She's like way in her exit passed out in her low-impact rogues class and had to carry her out stretching Oh drag
00:20:46So you guys gonna be at the kick the can game later? I am
00:20:50Later tater tots, right?
00:20:55I'll miss
00:20:59Where you been places get on what does she see in this scuzzball?
00:21:08You smell like a wet dog
00:21:12I
00:21:15I smell like a wet dog complaining. Nope
00:21:27I've seen a turn to recycle the aluminum. Oh my god. You haven't heard your sister just left here with not even
00:21:35I don't believe this
00:21:37Do you ever watch Baywatch anything? This is completely freaky or what? What?
00:21:42You know hanging out with me like this
00:21:44well, it's a little
00:21:46Surreal, I guess
00:21:50You've no idea how sucky it is being like a celebrity
00:21:53Everybody treats you like you're not even a person anymore
00:21:56Like you're this thing this entity you're eating dinner in some restaurant or going to the movies or whatever and people just stare and point
00:22:02At you start whispering to their friends like you like you some exhibit in a freak show
00:22:09That's why I like being with you I
00:22:12Mean I don't know you that well or anything, but you seem I don't know different neat
00:22:19Thanks
00:22:22Don't sit sure. Oh my god, Judy fruits parties tonight, and I have no clue who to go with what about Jason
00:22:30I'm going with Jason
00:22:32Well, then I'll go with Tomas. I thought you were going with Tomas Tomas has a dinky me
00:22:38You did Tomas you I'm sure gross I thought Jason was doing Tomas
00:22:44Jason's doing that Valley slut hole. I mean Schwartzkopf and
00:22:47Trill says hell I mean and you believe her. Hello. She lives in Whittier
00:22:54If Jason did I mean then he must have done Richard. Who's Richard?
00:22:59I mean other Scott like she's totally into these Kinko three ways
00:23:03Irene is a whore. It's Richard the surfer with the hair lift that drives the black Jetta. No, he's got a Lexus
00:23:09I thought he hung himself. Oh, he's like totally gorgeous. Bless. He's got a Lexus
00:23:17Jason Richard Tomas
00:23:21What do you think Tingleberry I swear it's ready you can sit
00:23:32You
00:23:36Yeah, I want to write and direct I
00:23:40Have to ensure that the artistic integrity of this project
00:23:48Isn't compromised
00:23:53First thing Monday
00:23:56Ever so solemnly swear
00:23:59Okay, ciao
00:24:16Coming
00:24:24Where is he?
00:24:27He was here like an hour or so ago
00:24:33Now man, he's not here now
00:24:36See Barney boy. He's left the building
00:24:39Where'd you go?
00:24:40Said where he was going
00:24:43He said he was taking a hike up that old stairway to heaven
00:24:52Bye
00:24:56I
00:24:58So are you in school
00:25:03Studying I don't know nothing. Well, I mean a bunch of stuff
00:25:10Nothing
00:25:11Specific just as long as you're not in the industry. That's one of all actresses models D girls. You name it forever. I
00:25:18Have this fantasy
00:25:21It's probably corn baller romantic. I know but
00:25:26It's times when I just want to disappear
00:25:28Meet up with someone special and just run away never be heard from again
00:25:32Don't you think that'd be killer?
00:25:37Me too
00:25:50Figured you'd be here
00:25:53I did what you promised me, man
00:26:00I'm really sorry, but you've got to get clean man
00:26:05You've got to it's all over
00:26:08Okay, you need the band the whole falafel. I
00:26:12Will come you know, I mean it this time Bart
00:26:20Come here
00:26:22Come
00:26:24Come up here
00:26:33No, man
00:26:35Just get clean
00:26:38Look I'll do anything to help you through it, but we cannot do this anymore. You get it
00:26:45You know more
00:26:52Love you, dude
00:27:10Thirsty dying. How you doing smiley?
00:27:17Okay
00:27:21Okay now
00:27:33No dark I
00:27:39Love you Mel
00:27:41Totally true and pure
00:27:45Mutual
00:27:47Just wish we didn't get together with like so many other people and stuff
00:27:54Luca you know
00:27:59And I firmly believe
00:28:02That human beings are built
00:28:06Sex and for love
00:28:10And that we should dole out as much of both as possible before we're old and ugly and nobody wants to touch us anymore
00:28:18I know
00:28:21Just because I make it
00:28:25With other guys and girls
00:28:29That has no effect whatsoever on my feelings for you
00:28:34Sometimes I feel so old-fashioned from another planet. It's like I'm half a person without you
00:28:41They're so cute
00:28:47Oh
00:28:56Life is so complicated. I wrote a poem for you last night. Let me to read it to you. No
00:29:09Do you believe in God
00:29:11I
00:29:15Don't believe in anything
00:29:22You have to believe in something no, I don't
00:29:30Time me up
00:29:35Okay, mr. Kinky
00:29:41Oh
00:29:45It's okay
00:30:04Okay now spank me baby
00:30:11Harder
00:30:41Oh
00:31:11In
00:31:15This world of depravity and perversion
00:31:18Who is the only one that can lead you out of the muck out of the dank?
00:31:25filthy swamp that mankind has foolhardy sunken into
00:31:34Jesus who died on the cross for our sins
00:31:37Welcome Jesus into your lives brothers and sisters so that he can show you the way into the true kingdom of God
00:31:45It's in places that dude's got like 12 wives
00:31:50Drunk most excellent
00:31:57To destiny
00:32:07Hey
00:32:19You're so beautiful
00:32:37I
00:33:08I
00:33:25Everything's fine. I just knocked over a chair by accident
00:33:32Thanks
00:33:35Well, that was a close call now, wasn't it
00:33:37Tonight tonight is your lucky night little egg
00:33:40I guess you're gonna get the best dogging of you perky pathetic life and you'll love every single second of it
00:33:47You just died went straight to heaven
00:34:04Oh
00:34:34Tender part
00:34:41Do you smell relief
00:34:55Even sex the best tension release there is
00:35:00It's
00:35:02Like a really good sweaty game of racquetball. Oh, hey you get to come at the end
00:35:12I adore you
00:35:16What a nice thing to say
00:35:21We just about to kick the can game how do I hear in my room forever what time is it?
00:35:30No way
00:35:32Pick up Lucifer 20 minutes ago
00:35:35No
00:35:37Totally gonna roast through rump
00:35:39No, angel boy. I gotta go
00:35:42No, wait a second
00:35:47You marry me
00:35:52You are too precious for words
00:35:55Okay
00:36:01I'll see you at kick the can and don't forget. It's your turn to provide the X
00:36:12Love you boo butter. Bye
00:36:26Oh
00:36:41Yeah, so it's me
00:36:43Ah
00:36:53Hey, homie, why is it jumpy? Hey, I just
00:37:00Nothing
00:37:05Strawberry I
00:37:08I
00:37:12Missed you
00:37:14Just saw me in day before yesterday come quad. So I missed you. Anyway mean Gilligan here missed me
00:37:22We both did you're a favorite person in this whole wide scuzz bucket world
00:37:29The sweetest boy ever
00:37:37So
00:37:40Did you get the address to Gigi fruits party zero, hey, would I ever let you down
00:38:00Great
00:38:07Over yet, I don't do hungry. They've been rested a key to see shoes. Hope it
00:38:16Thank you
00:38:37You
00:38:42Miracle AIDS cure turns out to be a hoax the Atari gang continue their reign of terror in the city and
00:38:50Palos Verdes City Councilwoman Andrea Sperling insists her teenage son was kidnapped and
00:38:56experimented on by space aliens
00:38:59And now a word from our sponsor
00:39:08Oh
00:39:27Tough to dick weeds you're in
00:39:37Tab at the time
00:40:07You
00:40:37Five six seven eight nine
00:40:44Twelve thirteen thirteen thirteen
00:40:51Seventeen eighteen nineteen twenty
00:40:58There it is best generic wasteland of glittering filth emptiness and death
00:41:06Hooray
00:41:10Hey
00:41:12Did you hear about that old guy in Brentwood who croaked and then by the time his neighbors found him
00:41:19His dog had eaten half his face off
00:41:23Dogs eating people is cool
00:41:25Oh
00:41:33Let the love feast begin
00:41:46Occupied dude, sorry
00:41:50Hey you guys going to juju boots party buzz off
00:41:56I
00:41:59Didn't shit
00:42:06You know what
00:42:16Right there
00:42:25Oh
00:42:49It's good
00:42:55I
00:43:15Just love the milk chocolatey goodness come out come out wherever you are
00:43:26What a Goomba
00:43:28See it. He's 50 feet from the can
00:43:32It's so blitzkrieg. He's like staggering around
00:43:38Jackie what?
00:43:42Have you ever liked
00:43:45Got some of my business or anything, but I kind of heard this rumor that you're kind of like waiting for the right person
00:43:53That is not true
00:43:55Okay, I've done it
00:43:58So sure with who lots of people a bunch of different times, okay
00:44:19What did you do that for I think you tripped my tooth
00:44:26Come on
00:44:45Don't bust your ball sack
00:44:50You scared me obvious
00:44:53Has dark been through here
00:44:58Well ducky and dingbat already friend doctor so swagged he's already doing the Cujo
00:45:06You know the Cujo
00:45:14Well
00:45:17Don't let the boogeyman catch up
00:45:20right
00:45:22I
00:45:52Don't know
00:46:01It's your turn
00:46:07Let's go, baby
00:46:09I
00:46:18Feel like I'm dipping my joystick into boiling hot oil
00:46:32Dick sucking on that when I bite that don't you darling?
00:46:39I
00:46:49What is it nothing I just
00:46:57Elvis have you ever wondered what would happen if the big earthquake hit and all the nuclear power plants in California blew up I
00:47:06I
00:47:08Mean
00:47:10What would they do with all the hundreds of thousands of dead bodies
00:47:15baby kinks
00:47:17Just go back to sleep
00:47:19I
00:47:32Read all the books and listen to all the tapes on how to get rich
00:47:36There's Bob the Gorilla base killing at least 49 soldiers and 13 civilians
00:47:41damage
00:47:43Really
00:47:47Everything all right
00:47:49I'm fine dad
00:47:51Want something to eat you saved you some shepherd's pie
00:47:54No, thanks
00:47:56I'm not very hungry. You sure
00:47:59We can heat it up in the micro
00:48:02dad really I
00:48:04Hate already with the listen dingbat
00:48:08Maybe later then
00:48:14$34.95
00:48:17Are you lost my little lambs confused don't know which way in this world to turn
00:48:29Stop in a flash
00:48:44I
00:48:51Godzilla you there man pick up pick up. Come on
00:48:58Hey, you gotta help me out man, I need the address for that party tonight at that juju fruit dudes place
00:49:04So when you get this message leave the address on my machine, and I'll beep in
00:49:10Thanks homes
00:49:13Once we get there, I'm gonna rip juju fruit balls off and wear them as beef earrings
00:49:17No, they're not gonna go with those shoes. You low-rent whore
00:49:25Well, did you get the address you are a drug?
00:49:28Hey, didn't I tell you I'm Robert. You're a glue. Don't worry about a thing, babe
00:49:36Montgomery
00:49:38Mel butthead hog bitch Lucifer
00:49:47Anybody here
00:50:08I
00:50:38I
00:50:51Hello children of God will you do me this one teeny little old favor
00:50:57Wherever you are put down whatever it is. You're doing and close your eyes. Come on do it with me now. Don't be shy
00:51:04Nobody's watching close your eyes shut them tight
00:51:09Now along with me think about heaven
00:51:14Concentrate get a full-color widescreen picture in your mind
00:51:21Ain't it nice
00:51:23Ain't it so down right beautiful
00:51:27Just feel it feel that white
00:51:31pure holy light
00:51:33cascading through your veins
00:51:36Coursing through your body and soul
00:51:39Praise sweet Jesus
00:51:45Does that make you feel so much better
00:51:48Just thinking about going straight to heaven doesn't it make you feel so gosh-darn
00:51:55Good inside
00:51:58If your penis
00:52:00eternal everlasting salvation
00:52:02It is your speed all yours and all you have to do is believe
00:52:09Believe
00:52:11Do you believe my fellow children of God?
00:52:15What's that? I can't hear you brothers and sisters. I
00:52:21Cannot hear you brothers and sisters
00:52:26I cannot hear you brothers and sisters. It's like I got cotton balls stuck in my ears
00:52:33You at home you gotta help me out. You gotta let me know you gotta let Jesus know
00:52:40Louder brothers and sisters let Jesus hear your proud strong magnificent voices
00:53:02You are such the driving talent
00:53:12Hey loser
00:53:16Where's Montgomery
00:53:18Everybody else is free. We can't wait around for him all friggin night. I saw him in the locker room a while ago
00:53:24Did you check in there? What's the matter dark?
00:53:28Isn't that his cross what did he get bored and go home or something
00:53:32That guy is so capital L. A. M. E. I thought we migrate to the party. Okay, the kegs already extinct
00:53:39I'm sure don't don't you think maybe we ought to wait for him. I mean, what if he can hook up with us later?
00:53:45He knows the address
00:53:47Besides, I don't know if it's the Stacy, but this place is starting to give me the heavies
00:54:02I
00:54:07Will be stopping
00:54:09We lost a d-band
00:54:11of course not I
00:54:13just
00:54:14Figuring out the shortcut route zero
00:54:17It doesn't matter. I mean, I really don't care about that soggy old party. It probably sucks. Anyway, so we we're gonna find it
00:54:27And we never let you down
00:54:29Oh
00:54:39Okay, you heard me pinhead get out of the car before I perforate you
00:54:49Please it's my mom. She'll kill me. Tell her that the Atari say thanks for the bitchin wheels, bitch
00:54:59I
00:55:17Can't understand what
00:55:21Speak English, please
00:55:25Mr. Sick Watson, I can't understand you speak English
00:55:29I
00:55:42Don't know
00:55:59I
00:56:30Don't worry smoochkins, I love you
00:56:34Me too totally, but my mom is gonna wire a car battery on my testicles
00:56:49Hey tadpoles, all right. Yeah, where you headed? Well, there's this party at JuJu foods
00:56:58Oh
00:57:11Soon the position
00:57:19One way I wonder not to stop doing crystal
00:57:27Oh
00:57:58Oh
00:58:00Amigo, what's up hand job me?
00:58:04Man, you got any more of those horse tranquilizer thing. No, no, man. I took my supply before I came but
00:58:16So like location of the Kanger Oh Bruce you bro, yeah
00:58:21I
00:58:40Know we gotta talk. Yeah, I think we need to discuss our relationship
00:58:51Dark baby. Look I just don't think this is the time or the place
00:58:59Yo
00:59:02Sir he's
00:59:04Same old same old. Hey there
00:59:08We haven't seen you since that time backstage at the palace after the gorge gonna chill
00:59:21You
00:59:32Tarzan me Jane
00:59:42Hey
00:59:52What
00:59:54Dad's head for me to remind you to mow the lawn tomorrow
00:59:59What you can tell dad to kiss my grin and growl is you know
01:00:02I
01:00:17Know Alonzo DeLosa
01:00:19Dude never shuts up. He shagged his chick. He met at Jones a couple weeks ago and last Wednesday
01:00:25He woke up and his pecker was covered in itchy black fuss oozing source
01:00:30And plus it smelled like pop
01:00:34Bend over robot, where's Mel?
01:00:37Hey guys, Bob's here
01:00:39Who's Bob the hermaphrodite porn star who can screw himself?
01:00:44Yeah, what's a hermaphrodite lucky man phone call it's a parental unit come on
01:00:54Hello hello
01:00:59Just in your face
01:01:30Where's Lucifer
01:01:35Hey a leak major
01:02:00Oh
01:02:12Hi
01:02:18Um, your thing is out, huh? Oh, sorry
01:02:27Are you done?
01:02:29Yeah
01:02:31So, well, oh
01:02:34Repulso
01:02:36It's not have to use the other John
01:02:42Excuse me, so you're gonna get with surf and ski tonight. I suppose
01:02:52Mel are we still together or what?
01:02:55I just wish things weren't so messed up and confusing. That's
01:03:07Can't we just leave this place
01:03:10Can't we just leave this whole planet behind forget about everybody and everything just be in love and stuff Oh
01:03:24I
01:03:26Look
01:03:28Can we just deal with this later
01:03:31Okay
01:03:40Just really miss you that's all
01:03:50I gotta go pee
01:03:54I
01:04:04Need air
01:04:08Hey dark house tricks, hey zero radical party, huh?
01:04:17Yeah, sure
01:04:24I
01:04:54I
01:05:15Hey dark, have you seen ducky he disappeared
01:05:24Think I'm gonna bail
01:05:29This party is about as fun as an ingrown butthurt
01:05:54I
01:06:24I
01:06:55I
01:06:57Would you like to sit on my face and cut a nice big juicy fart
01:07:11Yo dark, hey
01:07:16What's happening hand job, yeah, no poontang, that's for sure
01:07:25Pardon my French. Hey anything up down all around
01:07:33No blowing
01:07:36It's been a gnarly day. Oh, yeah
01:07:40in the last 18 hours
01:07:42I've seen four people get abducted by a space alien watch ducky try to drown himself
01:07:48Plus I spent like 387 bucks on CDs at Aaron's
01:07:52Kicked my mom. Hey, what's the easy score?
01:08:05Kill her stuff it's yours
01:08:21Come on
01:08:51Oh
01:09:22Oh
01:09:32Dear diary, what a day. I swear I've never been so depressed
01:09:38miserable and lonely in my entire life
01:09:41It's like I know there's got to be somebody out there somewhere
01:09:44Just
01:09:47One person in this huge horrible unhappy universe can hold me in their arms and tell me everything's gonna be okay
01:09:58And how long do I have to wait before that person shows up
01:10:03Feel like I'm sinking deeper and deeper into quicksand watching everyone around me die a slow agonizing death
01:10:11It's like we all know
01:10:15Way down in our souls
01:10:18That our generation is gonna witness the end of everything
01:10:26You can see it in our eyes it's in mine look
01:10:34I'm doomed
01:10:36I'm doomed. I'm only 18 years old. I'm totally doomed
01:11:06I
01:11:36I
01:12:06Wait
01:12:20Jesus
01:12:23Oh
01:12:36Montgomery
01:12:42Weirdest thing just happened to me
01:12:48Are you gonna just stand there with your mouth banging open
01:12:52Are you gonna let me in?
01:12:55Sorry
01:13:04Thanks
01:13:14So like what happened
01:13:23I got kidnapped by space aliens. Really?
01:13:31And then what
01:13:34They did all these tests and experiments and stuff on me and I overheard them talking about their plan to take over the earth
01:13:43Then I escaped no way way
01:13:52I
01:13:54Feel strange. I think I'm catching the cold or something. Do you wanna um, is it? Okay?
01:13:59If I just rest here for a while something like so
01:14:05Sure
01:14:12Well, aren't you gonna yeah
01:14:22I
01:14:31Hope you don't take this the wrong way. I mean I
01:14:37Know you wouldn't know I like whatever whatever is right
01:14:44She's all
01:14:47You know
01:14:50It's
01:14:52Not like I'm gay or anything
01:14:58And I know we kind of just met
01:15:02But I I really like you a lot
01:15:10And I think
01:15:14I
01:15:17Mean I
01:15:19Feel the same about you
01:15:22Like when I was trapped in the pod thing that the aliens help me captive him
01:15:25Oh, I could think about is what if they kill me?
01:15:33I'd never get to see you again. It's retarded and pathetic. I know
01:15:43All my life
01:15:47Searching one special person on this awful scary planet I can love
01:15:56Loves me for what I am
01:16:02That is so poetic
01:16:17It's okay if I spend the night I really want to sleep next to you
01:16:29If you promise to never ever leave
01:16:46I
01:17:16I
01:17:46Got
01:17:54I'm out of here
01:18:16I
01:18:46I
01:19:16I
01:19:46I
01:20:16I
01:20:46When everything
01:21:16I
01:21:46You
01:22:16You