Married at First Sight UK S9 Episode 25
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Previously, Ross's defense of wife Sasha triggered conflict with Alex, while careless comments
00:00:19from Casper, and did recent progress in his marriage to Emma.
00:00:28And a surprise return led to a less-than-happy reunion for Holly and Alex.
00:00:53While some couples have cause to celebrate, raw emotional honesty sparks anguish for
00:01:06others.
00:01:15And a lingering feud, plus a clash with wife Holly, puts Alex in the eye of the storm.
00:01:45It's the morning after the dinner party.
00:02:15I thought I've actually got good news for once.
00:02:17You're doing well. Proud of you.
00:02:21I'm happy that we're good. I actually am.
00:02:24Positive vibes only, mate.
00:02:31Do you want a glass of water or anything?
00:02:33Oh, yeah, I'll have some water, please.
00:02:35This week, me and Christine actually have had a lot of fun.
00:02:39There's been some tears, some laughter.
00:02:42Obviously, it's come towards the back end of the experiment now, where things are starting
00:02:45to get really serious.
00:02:48Thanks.
00:02:49You're welcome.
00:02:51I'm looking at, can I be with this girl for the rest of me life?
00:02:56Because ultimately, that's why we're in here.
00:03:00How cute!
00:03:02For Christina and Kieran, the initial intimate connection was strong.
00:03:11I'm so grateful I've been matched with you, honestly.
00:03:13Aw!
00:03:17But what started as a small setback...
00:03:20I'm quite disappointed that me cold sore hasn't gone yet.
00:03:23It's well frustrating.
00:03:25We literally haven't been able to kiss or be intimate...
00:03:28Since the honeymoon.
00:03:29..since the honeymoon.
00:03:31..turned out to be a bigger problem.
00:03:34Would you say you've been holding back on the physical affection
00:03:37just because of the cold sore?
00:03:39I can't blame it all on the cold sore. I can't.
00:03:42I'm really questioning at the minute if I'm able to sustain a relationship
00:03:46with someone that suffers with PMDD.
00:03:49Well, it's f****** shit.
00:03:55Ultimately, there's things there that I'm struggling with.
00:03:58I find it difficult to be intimate with Christina because
00:04:01I don't know where my headspace is at.
00:04:04Also, me and Christina had a conversation about life
00:04:08and what I want out of life and what she wants out of life,
00:04:11and I just feel like we're on different pages.
00:04:15She is an incredible, incredible girl.
00:04:18But there's differences there that are quite important to me.
00:04:24I'll be speaking to the experts today and I'll just be telling them
00:04:27my side of how I'm feeling.
00:04:29It's not easy.
00:04:31But I've got to be honest with Christina.
00:04:41Oh, big commitment ceremony.
00:04:45Yeah.
00:04:49I think the whole group can see some positives and some hope for us.
00:04:57We'll see what the experts have to say.
00:05:02I've got a lot of clarification this week about my relationship.
00:05:06Emma's not been emotionally vulnerable with me.
00:05:08It's something I've been asking for, saying,
00:05:10I need this from someone who I'm going to fall in love with.
00:05:13I think the comment that Emma made that she doesn't like me enough
00:05:16to be emotionally vulnerable,
00:05:19it's taken time to settle in, but, you know, it does hurt.
00:05:24How do you feel about feeling more vulnerable around me?
00:05:29At this point in time, I don't think I like you enough
00:05:34to be able to do that.
00:05:39Yeah, I want to make this work, but I can't see the wood from the trees.
00:05:49Kasper and I have had a tough week. It's been a rocky week.
00:05:54We didn't have a great dinner party.
00:05:57We had a little argument last night,
00:05:59and we're in a place where we just circle around.
00:06:02We both think we're right.
00:06:05I've worked hard at this, and the last week,
00:06:09it feels like the trying hasn't been reciprocated,
00:06:12intimacy hasn't improved in the relationship,
00:06:15but I'm not completely ready to pack my bags and just give up.
00:06:22Yeah, big commitment to Harmony.
00:06:25How are you feeling?
00:06:27Deflated. Yeah? Mm-hm.
00:06:30Obviously, we've got to see Alex again today.
00:06:42I really appreciated you, like, having my back, though, yesterday.
00:06:45Babe, always!
00:06:47My dad would have been a very happy man. Do you reckon? Yeah.
00:06:50I'll always have your back, no matter what.
00:06:52I mean, nobody speaks to my wife like that.
00:06:55Nobody.
00:07:04This morning, I woke up and I'm just physically drained.
00:07:08After the dinner party, I thought it was best that I went back to a hotel.
00:07:13I'm so very confused about how I feel about Alex right now.
00:07:23I was surprised that Holly showed up yesterday.
00:07:26We had a little conversation. It didn't go how I wanted it to go.
00:07:31I didn't know you was missing your kids.
00:07:33You haven't communicated that to me.
00:07:35I don't have kids of my own, and people can only meet you from where they are.
00:07:40This is my chance with Holly to sit down and air out any issues that we have.
00:07:48Last night, I wanted to see some change from him,
00:07:51and I didn't see any change at all.
00:07:54He should have clocked on that I was missing my kids, and clearly he hasn't.
00:07:59I don't know how this is going to turn out today.
00:08:21Hello and welcome to your penultimate commitment ceremony.
00:08:33This is one of just two final opportunities for you to open up to us
00:08:38and really share your thoughts and feelings about your marriages.
00:08:43So I want to encourage you to be as honest and vulnerable as you can,
00:08:48and really make the most of us while you still have the opportunity.
00:08:55First up to the couch,
00:09:00Ross and Sasha.
00:09:07Hello.
00:09:10Turbulent week, right?
00:09:12The longest week of my life. Feels like a month.
00:09:15Ross.
00:09:17So let's unpack it slowly, OK?
00:09:20Let's talk about the dinner party.
00:09:23Ross, you immediately took Alex to the side.
00:09:39OK, you're still angry. All right.
00:09:44OK.
00:09:51Would you like to go to square one?
00:10:02OK, all right, fair enough.
00:10:09Alex, why do you believe you chose not to apologise?
00:10:14If Ross had came over to me yesterday and been calm,
00:10:17then we would have spoken.
00:10:19You know why I said that, though? You know why I said that?
00:10:21Yeah, let me just speak to Paul one sec. Let me speak to Paul one sec.
00:10:28When Ross took me to the side yesterday,
00:10:30I was thinking, this is my guy, we're going to talk.
00:10:34He's going to tell me why he thinks I've done wrong.
00:10:38What I said at the spa, I probably shouldn't have said.
00:10:41But I felt like I was being attacked and I just attacked back.
00:10:48Regardless of anything, I'm sorry for what I said to Sasha.
00:10:55Whether she accepts it or not, that's another story.
00:11:01So now Sasha, he's apologising...
00:11:06..about what he said to you at the spa.
00:11:12Do you accept the apology?
00:11:27So now Sasha, he's apologising...
00:11:33..do you accept the apology?
00:11:42In any normal situation, I think apologising takes a lot.
00:11:48But I'm not going to tolerate what I've witnessed
00:11:50throughout these few weeks...
00:11:52..towards the women...
00:11:55..towards me that day,
00:11:57and let him come off like the good guy.
00:12:03OK, that's fair. That's your prerogative, OK, to not accept it, OK?
00:12:07It's clear, this is not going to get resolved today.
00:12:10But there were things that both of you could have done better
00:12:15in that interaction.
00:12:17We are mature people.
00:12:19There's no room for fighting here.
00:12:24The key, cooler heads always prevail.
00:12:27Always prevail.
00:12:30Swipe your face out, it's knocking me sick.
00:12:39I can't sit next to him.
00:12:43Are you guys OK to keep going?
00:12:46I can't physically sit next to him.
00:12:50I can't physically sit next to him.
00:12:54I can't physically sit next to him.
00:12:56I can't physically sit next to him.
00:12:59Mm-hm.
00:13:12OK, Ross, Sasha, let's move to another topic.
00:13:17If we can, let's go back to last week.
00:13:21We had an argument about a certain text that Alex had sent.
00:13:26It was me explaining that the text wasn't in good nature.
00:13:32I think we had a little bit of a miscommunication
00:13:35and that turned into an argument.
00:13:39And then he starts packing his case and saying he's had enough.
00:13:46I let out to try and stop me, but I completely let out.
00:13:52And I did throw the ring on the floor.
00:13:55Yeah.
00:13:59I regret what I did. I was disappointed in myself.
00:14:02And it wasn't nice.
00:14:07So, Sasha...
00:14:10..what impact did that have on you?
00:14:13I was upset and I was like...
00:14:16..this is going to take a lot for me to ever get that picture
00:14:19at my head of you throwing your wedding ring.
00:14:21For me, to feel secure moving to Manchester
00:14:25and leaving everything behind in Birmingham...
00:14:30..thinking you can just, like, I'm leaving, I'm...
00:14:33That's just too unstable for me.
00:14:37Would you say that was the first time
00:14:39that you questioned your future with Ross?
00:14:45Yeah, 100%. Wow.
00:14:47Yeah, and I was like, how can I sustain a relationship
00:14:51outside of this now?
00:14:53Always thinking that unpredictable behaviour
00:14:56could happen at any point again.
00:15:01So, does this make you think of what could happen down the line?
00:15:05Yeah. Every time I think of after the experiment,
00:15:08my gut is like, ugh, like, just so scared.
00:15:12At the minute, we've got the security of the show
00:15:15to make sure we stay together and work it out.
00:15:20So, it's what's going to happen once we're out.
00:15:27But it sounds like, or at least it looks like,
00:15:30you both resolved this. Yeah, we did.
00:15:32All right. How did you make up?
00:15:34He, like, wrote me a lovely note.
00:15:36He said, like, we're going to get married.
00:15:38How did you make up?
00:15:40He, like, wrote me a lovely note about how he feels,
00:15:43cos Ross finds it easier to communicate through writing
00:15:46sometimes than verbally.
00:15:48And he bought me some gifts, so...
00:15:50You're winning! I like this. I like this. OK.
00:15:54Yeah, I put my hand up...
00:15:56Yeah, well, I tell you what, I applaud you putting your hand up.
00:16:00That self-awareness is mature. It's very mature.
00:16:05So there was an apology, which is great. Yeah.
00:16:07And what we find happens when couples have these disagreements,
00:16:11if they're able to figure out how to come back together,
00:16:14they're normally stronger.
00:16:16We'll get there, you know. We're strong.
00:16:19I've got nothing to worry about. OK.
00:16:21This entire process is about learning.
00:16:24It's about learning so that you can individually be better,
00:16:27so that you can be better for each other.
00:16:30Let's go to the decision.
00:16:32Ross.
00:16:36Wow.
00:16:38It's been a tough week, but I'm actually glad it's been tough.
00:16:43It's made us more stronger.
00:16:45I still want you in the fuller world,
00:16:48and let's see what next week brings.
00:16:51Stay. Stay. All right.
00:16:53APPLAUSE
00:16:55Good one.
00:16:57I think this was one of our worst weeks yet.
00:17:01But it was an important week for us,
00:17:04because when we come to these problems on the outside,
00:17:08we'll know how to manage them better.
00:17:11So I wrote stay.
00:17:15Nice. Nice.
00:17:17I love what you just said, Sasha.
00:17:19We are learning so that we can become stronger outside the experiment.
00:17:22All right, so continue to learn this week.
00:17:24Thank you so much. Thank you.
00:17:29OK, so next up, we have...
00:17:34..Polly and Adam.
00:17:36APPLAUSE
00:17:42Hey, guys. Good to see the two of you.
00:17:45How's your week been?
00:17:47It's been great.
00:17:49It's been great.
00:17:51It's been great.
00:17:53It's been great.
00:17:55Good to see the two of you.
00:17:57How's your week been?
00:17:59It's been a really good week for us.
00:18:02Tell me how the love and hate task went for you.
00:18:08Adam thinks I'm opinionated.
00:18:11But... Yeah, there is...
00:18:13But I actually really struggled.
00:18:15Only the opinionated thing was something I actually disliked.
00:18:19So it's not like I hate it,
00:18:21that's just if I had to pick something, you know what I mean?
00:18:24What was it hard for you to do?
00:18:26Really hard, yeah. It wasn't for me.
00:18:29OK, Polly, what were some of the things that you didn't like about Adam?
00:18:35He doesn't tell me I'm beautiful.
00:18:38And he's not romantic.
00:18:42I don't normally do romantic things.
00:18:44Because of that, I thought,
00:18:46I'm going to show Polly what I think is romantic.
00:18:49So I told her to nip out for an hour.
00:18:53And there was, like, a candle walkway.
00:18:55With rose petals. Rose petals on the floor leading into the kitchen.
00:18:59There was a little teddy bear made out of roses.
00:19:02Petals on the table. Love heart. Candles.
00:19:05Candles everywhere.
00:19:07I cooked my famous chicken chorizo spicy pasta.
00:19:11And Polly said it was the most romantic thing she's ever received, so...
00:19:15It's done well. Romantic.
00:19:18I feel like we're now in love with you, Adam.
00:19:26I think what's really nice, though,
00:19:28it's so fabulous just to see that you're trying to make a difference here.
00:19:32Yeah.
00:19:34Polly, how did it feel to experience all that romance from Adam?
00:19:38Really nice. Really nice.
00:19:40I said it's the first time that I've had, like, butterflies.
00:19:44So I was like, oh, I actually feel like I really like you now.
00:19:48It was really nice.
00:19:50So if you can keep it up, then we're rolling.
00:19:56From an intimacy point of view,
00:19:58would you say that that is also going in a really healthy direction?
00:20:02Yeah. I mean, it could be more.
00:20:05But it's there.
00:20:07I would just like more. I always want more.
00:20:09OK.
00:20:11I don't feel like I should keep constantly having to say,
00:20:14that's what I want, and it just gets a bit frustrating.
00:20:19I know it's something that I need to work on.
00:20:22It does make me feel very uncomfortable talking about it.
00:20:25What we're really seeing here is that the two of you
00:20:28have worked so hard over the last few weeks to get to this point.
00:20:32I would say that a few conversations are required around intimacy.
00:20:36There's a bit of a question mark there in terms of who initiates
00:20:40feeling desire and things like that.
00:20:42And, of course, if you need me to help you, do let me know.
00:20:46OK. Let's go to the decisions.
00:20:50Polly, if we can start with you.
00:20:55I feel like we have definitely understood each other a lot more
00:20:59than kind of we already have.
00:21:01He's definitely no longer at a snail's pace
00:21:04and a bit more of a tortoise's pace, which I can deal with,
00:21:07because slow progress, again, is better than no progress.
00:21:11Forever grateful for him. Stay.
00:21:17Thank you, Polly. Adam?
00:21:20I think the week we've had's been our best week by far,
00:21:23and we're going from strength to strength.
00:21:26And maybe you can show me how romantic you can be now.
00:21:30So, for that reason, I put stay.
00:21:34Well, thank you, Polly and Adam. Have a fabulous week.
00:21:37Thank you so much.
00:21:47And next up...
00:21:51..we have Emma and Casper.
00:21:57Come on down, you two.
00:21:59So, the two of you, I know you've had a tricky week.
00:22:07It's been a long week.
00:22:09At the start of this week, we were in a far better place
00:22:12than we are probably now.
00:22:14It's got more fractures. Fair?
00:22:18There's a lot of good things about our relationship.
00:22:21But for me, Charlene came and...
00:22:26..there was a comment made.
00:22:28This one hurt me.
00:22:32I was explaining emotional vulnerability to Emma.
00:22:39She snapped at me with, I just don't like you enough.
00:22:45I said, I don't know whether I can be emotionally vulnerable with you.
00:22:48You said you don't like me enough.
00:22:50I don't know whether I like you enough to be emotionally vulnerable with you.
00:22:55The like there is the key to the comment.
00:22:58You know, we spent five weeks together.
00:23:00I'm not a bad person, but...
00:23:02I mean in the relationship. Don't get me wrong.
00:23:05Well, that's not what you said.
00:23:10I mean, I've been talking about my need for emotional vulnerability.
00:23:15And to hear, it's not coming because I don't like you enough.
00:23:18But for me, it was just like, OK, what are we working with here?
00:23:23In any way, shape or form. Just because I'm in there.
00:23:27In response to Emma's quite harsh comment,
00:23:30did that hurt your feelings?
00:23:33Hurt my feelings, yeah.
00:23:38Was that the first thing that Emma had said that made you feel that way?
00:23:44Yes, in terms of like, I felt I didn't deserve that comment.
00:23:51I want to turn the tables for a moment.
00:23:53So, Emma, from your position, have there been things along the way
00:23:57that Casper has said that have hurt your feelings?
00:24:02Yeah, definitely.
00:24:05I asked you if you'd like to practise the tasks that Charlene had given us.
00:24:10You said to me, yes, I want to practise the tasks.
00:24:14You know, I want to build intimacy with future people.
00:24:17I mean, I felt like I'm a testing station.
00:24:23And that's what I thought in that comment.
00:24:26And then, turning at me and laughing.
00:24:33I didn't turn at you, love.
00:24:35You were laughing. Like, that's not a funny joke.
00:24:41Casper, how do you think Emma felt when you said that?
00:24:45In the nicest possible way, I wanted to leave last week.
00:24:51Absolutely wanted to leave, yeah.
00:24:53And with Emma saying that comment, with Charlene,
00:24:56yeah, I just went, why did I do it?
00:24:58If that was exactly what you felt with me, why did I stay?
00:25:04I've put a lot of effort into this.
00:25:06So, have you been mean to Emma this week?
00:25:10At the end of this week, after she made that comment,
00:25:14you know what?
00:25:15If that's what she thinks of me...
00:25:20..why am I here?
00:25:24So, you're sitting here trying to say that it's me pulling away.
00:25:27You've pulled away as well. Yeah, yeah, I have.
00:25:30There was a...
00:25:35We go round in circles, and I don't want to blurt out
00:25:38every time I say something.
00:25:40We go round in circles, and I don't want to blurt out
00:25:43every tiny little thing that we've done
00:25:45that's pissed each other off this week, cos there's a lot.
00:25:48Yeah.
00:25:49I feel like we're nitpicking at things that went wrong this week,
00:25:52but I know this anger...
00:25:56..is temporary.
00:26:01We don't want to hurt each other.
00:26:05But I'm not as positive as Emma.
00:26:08Yeah, I'm trying to work on it.
00:26:11But I don't have that natural...
00:26:13..things are going to be OK.
00:26:15I've got a lot of respect for Emma.
00:26:19I think, more than anything else, where I'm at right now is,
00:26:22it's a frustration born out of the fact
00:26:24that we wanted what these guys have.
00:26:29Both of us wanted that.
00:26:32And... Do you feel sad? Yeah!
00:26:34We feel sad, cos we came here for love.
00:26:39Emma's fantastic, in a lot of ways,
00:26:42but there are things that I need.
00:26:44What do you need?
00:26:46I need someone who is as emotionally vulnerable and open as I am.
00:26:54I need someone to need me more than Emma would ever need me.
00:27:02She's a very strong, independent woman.
00:27:06Emma, can you give Caspar what he needs?
00:27:16Oh, I'm going to cry!
00:27:24I need to be more emotionally vulnerable.
00:27:28I...
00:27:31I can be in the right situations. I can.
00:27:37But I need to be loved in order to love.
00:27:50OK. Let's go to the decision.
00:27:57Caspar, let's start with you.
00:28:01Oh!
00:28:04Both Emma and I applied for this because we both wanted to find the one.
00:28:11I think...
00:28:14..Emma is a lovely person.
00:28:20But for me, what I've found is, you know,
00:28:23me and Emma think about the world and everything
00:28:26and how we live our lives in such different ways.
00:28:31I've not been perfect during the experiment,
00:28:34but I don't feel a romantic spark.
00:28:39After all of that, a rocky week where a lot of clarification happened.
00:28:50I wrote leave.
00:29:00Well, Emma.
00:29:08I've done a lot of reflection over the last 24 hours.
00:29:14I've thrown everything into our relationship.
00:29:24So...
00:29:26..I feel like...
00:29:30..it's the right time.
00:29:44It's the right time, definitely.
00:29:50I wrote leave.
00:29:53I do think that every man and woman deserves to be treated
00:29:57like a king or queen in their relationships,
00:30:00and we just can't give that to each other,
00:30:02but we deserve it and we'll get it.
00:30:04You do. You both do.
00:30:06Emma and I did put all of our efforts into this.
00:30:09Like, you put so much into this, so thank you.
00:30:15We didn't come in here and then go,
00:30:17We didn't come in here and then go,
00:30:19oh, it's not going to work, and walk away.
00:30:21Like, we pushed and pushed at it,
00:30:23but we just struggled to find that middle ground, I think,
00:30:26between us to really make it work.
00:30:31Thank you both so much for bringing your whole hearts
00:30:35and souls to this experience.
00:30:38It's been our pleasure.
00:30:42APPLAUSE
00:30:46Yeah!
00:30:52It's really sad that this has not worked out.
00:30:54I mean, I came in to find love
00:30:56because it's the thing that's missing in my life,
00:30:59and unfortunately I haven't found that with Emma.
00:31:02It's the right decision. I'm ready to go home.
00:31:05Give us a kiss for the road.
00:31:07And I really hope I can just meet that person
00:31:09and make them happy.
00:31:11Oh, babe. Oh, no.
00:31:15It's over. The marriage is over.
00:31:23Of course I wanted to come here,
00:31:26walk down the aisle and walk out hand in hand with a husband.
00:31:32It's such a real shame that I didn't get someone to adore me
00:31:36and me adore them.
00:31:39But, you know, he's out there.
00:31:58Next up on the couch could we have...
00:32:04..Amy and Luke.
00:32:06Let's go.
00:32:09Let's go. Hi.
00:32:11Right. Big smiles?
00:32:13Very big smiles, yeah.
00:32:15How was the week? It was really good.
00:32:17We had a love-hate week and we divulged into things
00:32:20that were really important for us to hear from each other.
00:32:23We had a nice pottery day that I organised.
00:32:27All right, so your task this week was likes, dislikes. Yes.
00:32:30So, Amy, what were your dislikes of Luke?
00:32:34I feel like he sort of performs in front of the group
00:32:38and when he's with me, he's like a different person.
00:32:41And if you say something, make sure you mean it.
00:32:44Because if you say something to me
00:32:46and then you change your answer or your comments a few days later,
00:32:49I'm going to be confused, like...
00:32:52So now what I hear you saying, Amy, is you want Luke,
00:32:56the same Luke that you see behind closed doors,
00:32:59you want that Luke all the time.
00:33:02Yeah.
00:33:05What's something that you believe you want to work on this week?
00:33:09Inappropriate comments.
00:33:11OK. Well, OK.
00:33:14At the pottery day, it did make me feel a little bit uncomfortable.
00:33:20What was it that offended you?
00:33:22Luke whips his T-shirt off and I'm sat on a stool
00:33:26and he sits on a stool behind me.
00:33:29And he was like, I want to replace the chair with your face.
00:33:35And I was like, what the fuck?
00:33:43Quite specific.
00:33:45You want to sit on my face?
00:33:48I'm not an awkward person, like, in the bedroom or anything.
00:33:51Like, I like exploring, but there's just a time and a place
00:33:55and it just makes me feel uncomfortable.
00:33:58OK.
00:34:00Luke, do you feel clear about when would be the right time
00:34:03to say something a bit sexy to Amy?
00:34:06Not particularly clear yet,
00:34:08because sometimes even when we're together by ourselves
00:34:11and I do tell you things, she would look at me
00:34:14and almost like you call it an ick, isn't it?
00:34:17You say you get the ick and then...
00:34:19It's just the way he delivers it.
00:34:22For me to be with Amy and have a cheeky moment like that
00:34:27means a lot to me, and even though that's a big part of me,
00:34:30I'm ready to let that go.
00:34:32You don't need to let it go, just tone it down a little bit.
00:34:35Yeah, tone it down a significant amount.
00:34:38This is boundaries.
00:34:40Now, boundaries are good,
00:34:42but it's something that you have to manage
00:34:45in order to sustain the relationship.
00:34:48Everyone needs boundaries.
00:34:50What's been playing on my mind is
00:34:53with, like, the salsa thing with Lacey and Adam.
00:34:56He said to me, if that was you on that photo,
00:34:59we'd have to have serious conversations.
00:35:05So explain what you meant about the photo.
00:35:10So I received a photo of Lacey and Adam doing a salsa dance together
00:35:15and I messaged Amy straightaway and I said,
00:35:20I'm really proud that that wasn't you,
00:35:22and this is why you always act with class and integrity,
00:35:25and I said, I just want to...
00:35:27What was I not acting with class?
00:35:29No, no, that's the message I sent to Amy.
00:35:33How's me dancing? We've got trust.
00:35:35It's not about you, I'm just sending a message.
00:35:37But you said class.
00:35:38Yeah, I must have used that word.
00:35:40I said class and integrity sometimes.
00:35:42So I'm not?
00:35:44That's not what I said. You're putting words in my mouth.
00:35:47I'm just trying to get a point, because that's the message I sent.
00:35:50Use your words a bit wisely.
00:35:54Fair enough, OK.
00:36:01It was just a comment about, like, you're glad it wasn't me,
00:36:04because if it was, we'd have to have, like, conversations
00:36:07for you to be able to trust me.
00:36:09It would have hurt me, yeah, because that's a me issue, though.
00:36:12It's nothing to do with anyone else in the group.
00:36:14So where I will commend you is that you're being vulnerable
00:36:17and you're saying, this is how I feel, right?
00:36:19These are the emotions.
00:36:21I was just happy that, you know, I was just happy that it wasn't you.
00:36:25Clearly, the relationship is strengthening.
00:36:28Amy makes it very clear what she wants
00:36:31and what's not acceptable in the relationship.
00:36:34But, Luke, I need you to think about what the boundaries are.
00:36:37Uh-huh.
00:36:39Let's go to the decision.
00:36:41I've enjoyed every second of this experience.
00:36:43I'm so looking forward to do more.
00:36:46I'm enjoying that we had a really good week.
00:36:49On that note, I have chosen to stay.
00:36:52All right. All right.
00:36:54APPLAUSE
00:36:58This week has been a week of growth.
00:37:02I do feel like we do still have a lot to work on
00:37:05and a lot to understand about each other.
00:37:08But I've made my decision to stay.
00:37:12APPLAUSE
00:37:14Bye, guys. Bye.
00:37:18Thank you very much.
00:37:26I'd like to call up to the couch...
00:37:32..Nathan and Lacey. Come on up.
00:37:34APPLAUSE
00:37:36Come on up.
00:37:40Hello. Hello, guys.
00:37:42Welcome.
00:37:44How was it this week?
00:37:46Yeah, it was good, wasn't it?
00:37:48I've actually bought some flowers.
00:37:50He did. Oh!
00:37:52He said, I've left a little surprise for you on the table.
00:37:54It rang really quick.
00:37:56Yeah, the flowers.
00:37:58I went to sleep so happy.
00:38:00Knowing that he'd got flowers all by himself
00:38:02and he wanted to surprise me, yeah, I was very happy, wasn't I?
00:38:05And then Jim texted, oh, thank you so much.
00:38:07I tried, you know what I mean?
00:38:10Let's move on to spa and a little salsa.
00:38:14This was me. I was in my element.
00:38:16I got a bit into it, a bit of freestyle, you know.
00:38:19Obviously, there was a photo.
00:38:23But we have very good trust for each other.
00:38:26He can do it, I can do it, we come home together.
00:38:29Like, we trust each other. As long as there's boundaries,
00:38:31do you know what I mean? I'm not like a control...
00:38:33Like someone slapping my bum.
00:38:35So when you saw that photo, Nathan, you were...
00:38:37There was no issue whatsoever?
00:38:40No.
00:38:42I felt like if you know your worth
00:38:44and you both know your worth of each other...
00:38:47Also, I'm very content in... I know I've got a good thing.
00:38:50There's no problem.
00:38:53Is there anything you want to work on this week?
00:38:58Do you know what? We're good.
00:39:00All right. So strength to strength is what you've been moving every week,
00:39:03which is great. We applaud you on that.
00:39:05Absolutely. Yeah.
00:39:07Let's go to a decision.
00:39:10I feel like every week, we're getting closer.
00:39:13We've got good trust for each other.
00:39:16I'm very happy, I'm very grateful.
00:39:18I'm proud of how far you've come as well.
00:39:22For that reason, I would love to stay.
00:39:25So I obviously want us to continue learning more things about each other.
00:39:29Yeah, probably in the best place that we have been the whole time.
00:39:32So for that reason, I want to stay.
00:39:39One thing that I do love about both of you is each week,
00:39:42I feel like there's an emotional progression.
00:39:44Right.
00:39:46That is beautiful. So continue to be beautiful together.
00:39:49Thank you so much.
00:39:51Thank you so much. Thank you.
00:39:57Well done.
00:40:03Our next couple on the couch.
00:40:09Kieran and Christina.
00:40:16Well, how's your week been?
00:40:19Interesting.
00:40:21Interesting?
00:40:23Interesting.
00:40:24Been the hardest week yet.
00:40:27What's made it the hardest?
00:40:29It's not necessarily anything to do with Christina as a person.
00:40:32Like, I love how... I love a lot of things about Christina,
00:40:35and I do, and I've told you that.
00:40:37But, you know, I don't really want to be intimate with her.
00:40:45I don't want to lead her on, cos I don't really know where my head's at.
00:40:51OK.
00:40:53And I'm just finding it really hard to try and...
00:40:57..work it all out, I guess.
00:41:00This is a scary stage of the experiment, guys.
00:41:03You know, this is the second last commitment ceremony.
00:41:06You know, you're getting really close
00:41:08to needing to make that big decision about,
00:41:10are we going to commit to each other going forward?
00:41:15At the last commitment ceremony,
00:41:17I explained how the PMDD was affecting me.
00:41:22But I've since realised that there's underlying areas
00:41:27where we're not similar, but are quite important to me.
00:41:32What made you say that?
00:41:34I asked you the other day, didn't I?
00:41:36I said, what's more important to you, finding a husband
00:41:39or pursuing something that you're really passionate about?
00:41:43And she said, finding a husband.
00:41:45This is why we're very different.
00:41:48Coming in here from day one, I wanted to build a new life,
00:41:54wherever that took me.
00:41:58Which I guess I can feel the pressure of.
00:42:01For someone to be ready to leave where she's from
00:42:04and almost move straight away, that's scary.
00:42:09It's just scary.
00:42:15I came into this wanting to find a way
00:42:17for what I can spend the rest of my life with.
00:42:21But I'm petrified.
00:42:26What specifically are you petrified about?
00:42:40Wasting time with the wrong person.
00:42:45What specifically are you petrified about?
00:42:54Wasting time with the wrong person.
00:42:59What specifically are you petrified about?
00:43:10Wasting time with the wrong person.
00:43:16You know, I've been with people for years
00:43:19and I've been the one that's brought everything to the table.
00:43:23OK.
00:43:25And then I've been shit on.
00:43:28And if I had a... Like, I'm just... I'm petrified.
00:43:31So that's a very real and valid fear for you?
00:43:35I'm scared of...
00:43:37I'm scared of giving someone me everything for it to not work out.
00:43:41Because that's what happened before.
00:43:43That's all that's happened throughout my whole life, yeah.
00:43:47Christina, how has that landed for you?
00:43:50I'm frustrated. I want to shake him and be like,
00:43:53oh, my God, I'm not that way inclined.
00:43:56You know, I can do everything by myself.
00:43:59I don't need Kieran. I want Kieran.
00:44:06I wonder how much of what you're experiencing
00:44:09is what's going on here,
00:44:11and how much of it is what's happened in the past?
00:44:13Because, you know, we know that when we're in relationships,
00:44:16sometimes the issues that have happened with our ex
00:44:19can kind of raise their ugly head in our current relationship.
00:44:22And it can be difficult to work out, like,
00:44:24what's my ex's stuff and what's the current stuff?
00:44:28So, one thing I told myself
00:44:30is that I don't want to have to carry someone again.
00:44:34Why do you think you are going to have to carry me?
00:44:37I don't know.
00:44:38It's just something that I've had in previous relationships.
00:44:41I'm not your ex-partners.
00:44:43Good point.
00:44:45I am not your ex-partners.
00:44:47There is only one Steena.
00:44:49She's very unique and she's got a lot to offer.
00:44:53You know, I know my worth and I know what I deserve.
00:45:01Kieran, I can see how heavily this is weighing for you.
00:45:06I can see that you're getting triggered
00:45:09by previous relationships and the pain from that.
00:45:13My concern is that it would be very easy
00:45:16for you to project that fear onto Christina
00:45:20and to retreat and say, I want to be by myself,
00:45:23which is a safe place for you to be.
00:45:26But you could miss out on something great.
00:45:29OK.
00:45:31Let's go to the decision.
00:45:33Christina, we'll start with you.
00:45:39I have put 110% into this
00:45:42and I feel like I've really worked on myself
00:45:46and I see the potential in you.
00:45:51You're an amazing guy.
00:45:53So, yeah, I'm going to stay.
00:45:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:46:04Something I've done through every relationship I've been in
00:46:07is neglect my own feelings
00:46:09and I've went through them, putting them first.
00:46:11I have to remember I'm in this experiment as well
00:46:14and this is about my feelings as much as it is Christina's.
00:46:17It's all about me.
00:46:20But I don't want to lose out on you.
00:46:24I really don't.
00:46:25I want you to be more than a friend.
00:46:28And I really hope that we can make this work
00:46:31and I know it's down to me now.
00:46:33And I can promise you I'll try my best.
00:46:36So, for that reason, I'm going to stay.
00:46:40I'm going to stay.
00:46:41I'm going to stay.
00:46:42I'm going to stay.
00:46:43I'm going to stay.
00:46:44I'm going to stay.
00:46:45I'm going to stay.
00:46:46And I know I'll try my best.
00:46:48So, for that reason, I'd like to stay.
00:46:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:46:57Alright, you two.
00:46:58You've got some work to do this week.
00:47:01Maybe this is a good point to do a bit of a list
00:47:04on these are the ways that she differs from previous partners.
00:47:08I would bet that if you delve a little bit deeper,
00:47:10you're finding, Christina, a number of characteristics
00:47:13that show you that you can trust her
00:47:16and that she intends to be around for the long haul.
00:47:19Have a really good look at what is on offer here
00:47:24because it's good.
00:47:29Good on you.
00:47:31Thank you very much.
00:47:32Thanks so much.
00:47:32Well done you two.
00:47:35I am going to take this time seriously
00:47:38and really understand what's going on in my brain
00:47:41and just sit myself down and say,
00:47:42Kieran, what do you want?
00:47:44Do you want this girl?
00:47:45Cause she is amazing
00:47:46and you could potentially lose out on her.
00:47:48Or do you not?
00:47:49It's now down to me.
00:47:55And finally on the couch,
00:47:59Alex and Holly.
00:48:01Good job guys.
00:48:07Good to see the two of you.
00:48:11So talk to me, how are you both feeling?
00:48:15So I've been home for a few days.
00:48:17I went to see my children.
00:48:19I needed some time to think about what I wanted.
00:48:23With people that know me from growing up
00:48:26and it's done me the world of good.
00:48:29Okay, I understand that, Alex.
00:48:32How were you feeling throughout the last few days
00:48:35when Holly wasn't around you?
00:48:38Holly left, no communication.
00:48:42Yeah, I've kind of just been left in the dark.
00:48:45I've not known what's going on in Holly's head.
00:48:48Not knowing what's going on in my own marriage.
00:48:51And yeah, it's been a tough week.
00:48:55Holly, when you were on the couch the last time,
00:48:58you spoke things through with us
00:49:00and it was like the most positive
00:49:01that we've seen the two of you.
00:49:03What's happened since then?
00:49:05Last week, yes, I was happy,
00:49:07because it was one good week.
00:49:09What I thought, do you know what?
00:49:10Maybe it's getting better.
00:49:12But there were still things in that time that I thought, no.
00:49:17The night that I decided I needed to get home
00:49:20was because me, Shannon and Ryan was going for food
00:49:25and I invited Alex.
00:49:28We've got to the lift and he went,
00:49:30God, what's up with everyone?
00:49:31I went, some of us are missing our kids, Alex,
00:49:33because me and Ryan had just had hard phone calls with our kids.
00:49:37He turned round to me and went,
00:49:39fuck this, I can't be arsed, I'm not coming.
00:49:42For me, instantly, I thought, do you know what?
00:49:45You've got no respect for the fact I'm a mum.
00:49:48And then a comment was made about,
00:49:51why would you come on this experiment if you've got kids?
00:49:55Because I'm just like every single other person,
00:49:58I deserve love too.
00:50:00That's why I come on this experiment.
00:50:04You know what? Holly, she puts on a brave face
00:50:08and, you know, acts like everything's OK.
00:50:10So if Holly's missing her kids,
00:50:11how am I going to know that she's missing her kids?
00:50:13Because she hasn't shown me or when we're in bed,
00:50:16she hasn't told me or...
00:50:17As my husband, it's your duty of care to ask me,
00:50:20am I OK?
00:50:21Because I've sat there on FaceTime to my children
00:50:23before sobbing my eyes out
00:50:25when my daughter read me a poem she'd done
00:50:27and you didn't even look at me.
00:50:29I come off the phone, you didn't even speak to me.
00:50:31You didn't ask me if I'm OK, do I want a hug?
00:50:37My voice is never heard.
00:50:38When I try and speak to you, you go, I'm speaking.
00:50:43You need to understand me now.
00:50:46Listen, don't try and come on here and put on some big act.
00:50:48You're not fooling nobody.
00:50:50Babe, you are a bullshitting bastard.
00:50:52I've had enough of your shit.
00:51:02You're a liar.
00:51:02Honestly, you're a liar.
00:51:04I'm done with it, Alex.
00:51:05You said to me, you better watch your mouth.
00:51:06Honestly, I'm done with it.
00:51:07I don't give a shit, I'm not holding back anymore.
00:51:09I feel like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders.
00:51:11Oh, that's good.
00:51:12Goddamn, I can't breathe.
00:51:12That's good.
00:51:13Woo!
00:51:14I mean...
00:51:18Because I'm a woman.
00:51:19I'm a woman.
00:51:21I'm a woman.
00:51:22I'm a woman.
00:51:22I'm a woman.
00:51:23I'm a woman.
00:51:24I'm a woman.
00:51:24I'm a woman.
00:51:25All I want is to have my child.
00:51:26I want to have my child.
00:51:27I want to have my child.
00:51:28I want my child.
00:51:28I want my child.
00:51:30What, Queen?
00:51:37You know, I just have to say this.
00:51:39Yes, there's many things that this man needs to work on.
00:51:42But you've done all this up in his face at the same time.
00:51:46You know what I mean?
00:51:47Two wrongs don't make a right on this.
00:51:51I saw red flags from week one.
00:51:53Oh, you stayed, though.
00:51:56What did I write?
00:51:57Leave.
00:51:58I saw red flags from week one.
00:52:00I was like, you know what, benefit of the doubt.
00:52:03Can I just state something, please?
00:52:04Oh, my God.
00:52:05I can't even finish a sentence today.
00:52:06Yeah, I'm actually doing what you do, so it's very frustrating, isn't it?
00:52:10I'm just going to keep...
00:52:11I don't talk over people.
00:52:12So can I just say...
00:52:13Can I speak?
00:52:14...these comments regarding how...
00:52:15Can I speak, though?
00:52:16Holly, OK.
00:52:17Let Alex finish his point, and then we'll come to you.
00:52:18Is that OK?
00:52:19Obviously, there's been differences over the past couple of weeks in the way we approach
00:52:25things.
00:52:26For me, I like to tackle things.
00:52:29If something bothers me, I'm going to address it pretty much instantly.
00:52:32Whereas, if Holly left, no communication, which has been our problem from day one.
00:52:42Why doesn't Holly feel like she can speak to me?
00:52:44I don't know, like...
00:52:45Do you know why, Alex?
00:52:47Because you sit there with your scowls, you chomp your teeth, you look at me like...
00:52:51I mean, I'm the one that's been called names over the past couple of weeks.
00:52:59I've never called you back a name.
00:53:04It's the way you act.
00:53:05It's the way you say things.
00:53:09The icing on the cake for me was that last week at the commitment ceremony, how he speaks
00:53:12to women.
00:53:16Not only myself, but the girls.
00:53:17I'm so sorry every time I apologise on behalf of him.
00:53:21It's embarrassing.
00:53:24He's rude, he's arrogant.
00:53:27I've remembered who the hell I am, and I don't put up with this.
00:53:35I don't try and be disrespectful to people, apart from if I feel like I'm being attacked.
00:53:40I can't see myself in a third-person view, so if I've done something wrong, just let
00:53:44me know.
00:53:45And I can fix the behaviour.
00:53:48I'm sorry, but...
00:53:49I do tell you, and it starts an argument.
00:53:51You haven't told me, though.
00:53:52Everyone tells you.
00:53:55I'm sorry, but it's bullshit.
00:53:57It is a whole hell of bullshit.
00:54:06I think what we're seeing here is that you're both doing this to each other, and I think
00:54:11what's really clear here is that the respect has gone.
00:54:15What we would like to be able to hear today from the two of you is the parts that each
00:54:22of you have played in getting to this really uncomfortable point in your relationship.
00:54:30For me personally, I like someone to bring out the best in me also.
00:54:35Like, tell me where I'm going wrong.
00:54:37Don't be scared to, you know, because what am I going to do?
00:54:40I did explain before, if you'd have listened, that I've never felt like I can step to you
00:54:44and say, do you know what, Alex?
00:54:46This is how I feel because I'm never heard.
00:54:50And it was so refreshing to go home and be heard.
00:54:55That's good.
00:54:57What I can see is that the two of you are quite hurt, and that's really, really sad
00:55:01for us to see.
00:55:02Over the last few weeks, the two of you have had a number of different arguments, but you've
00:55:08been able to resolve it, and you've been able to move forward.
00:55:14What you both need to decide is whether you think you can resolve this.
00:55:20Let's go to decisions.
00:55:23Alex.
00:55:25This week's been a tough week, you know.
00:55:27I didn't know what was going on with Holly.
00:55:31And I've had things coming at me from all angles.
00:55:33And I genuinely think I've held myself well.
00:55:40At times, I've been misunderstood.
00:55:44I'm sick of having to deal with it.
00:55:47I'm sick of having to deal with it.
00:55:49At times, I've been misunderstood.
00:55:53I'm sick of having to defend my marriage.
00:55:55One week, we're good.
00:55:56Next week, we're not.
00:55:58And I just need some consistency at this point.
00:56:02There's been things that I've seen over the past few weeks that I'm just like, you know,
00:56:06not a better me.
00:56:10So...
00:56:13Leave.
00:56:20Holly, what's your decision?
00:56:27I was so drawn to finding love.
00:56:32I counted every blessing every night that I was going to come here
00:56:35and be swept off my feet.
00:56:42I lost my part of myself giving so much to this relationship.
00:56:50I do think you can be a good guy.
00:57:01But for me...
00:57:09You're not Mr Right.
00:57:12I'm leaving.
00:57:20The two of you have written leave.
00:57:24So that means, of course, this is the end of the experiment for you.
00:57:33I just want to say to the two of you, thank you so much for being very honest.
00:57:39I feel like you've really both been quite mature in the way that you've communicated how you feel.
00:57:44We wish you all the very best.
00:57:47Take care.
00:57:49Well done, you guys.
00:57:50Good luck, guys.
00:58:00I came into this process looking for my special forever person.
00:58:09It actually hurts.
00:58:10It actually hurts.
00:58:14We're just not each other's people.
00:58:17We haven't had the happy ever after I was hoping for.
00:58:22Thank you so much.
00:58:26This is actually heartbreaking.
00:58:29I feel numb right now.
00:58:32This person who was supposed to be my person isn't my person.
00:58:38You're okay, babe.
00:58:39That was hard.
00:58:44It's sad that I didn't find the love I wanted.
00:58:48Love, guys.
00:58:49Love you so much.
00:58:51Love you, hoes.
00:58:53Love you, guys.
00:58:55But I believe my forever person is out there.
00:59:01Next time...
00:59:02Adam, you'll be paired with Amy.
00:59:04It's partner swap week.
00:59:06Lacey, you'll be paired with Luke.
00:59:08For fuck's sake.
00:59:10Sparking conflict for some new pairings.
00:59:12He was throwing shade on me.
00:59:14Luke has pissed me off, and I do want an apology out of him.
00:59:17And stirring insecurities in others.
00:59:20What size panties are you?
00:59:21I can't sleep in my ring.
00:59:23Or my clothes.
00:59:26He's actually making me feel quite sick.
00:59:28Sorry.
00:59:29Oh, pause.
00:59:30It's just knocked me a bit.
00:59:32But it's a disastrous double date.
00:59:34This is the worst golfing session I've ever had in my life.
00:59:36That sparks the biggest upset of the experiment.
00:59:39You and my ex-partner, it's actually scary how similar you are.
00:59:42I am fuming.
00:59:46I'm not his ex.
00:59:49What the fuck?