Alex Edelman's comedy special released by 800 POUND GORILLA in 2020. | dG1fTW5kWXJ5Z2ZqMUE
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00I went to New York University for college, I went to NYU, I paid for my education $191,000.
00:12I'm sorry, for my education I owe $191,000.
00:20And by the way, NYU has no campus. I didn't know that, it was the only school I got into.
00:25And I showed up on the first day and I dropped my stuff off at the dormitory and I was like,
00:29where's the campus?
00:35And the RA giving the tour went, what campus?
00:39And I said, the college's campus.
00:45And I swear to God, this guy, his name was Thrace, I'll never forget this.
00:49Thrace went, Alex, the city is your campus.
01:00And I said, I don't know if you know this, Thrace, but I did a Google
01:04and last year there were 188 murders on campus.
01:11That would be a deal breaker at any other college.
01:16If you were taking a tour of University of Michigan and someone was like,
01:19University of Michigan is pretty great.
01:22We've had two US presidents pass through these halls, we have five different fabulous schools,
01:27we have the big house which seats more than 100,000 rabid football fans.
01:37There is one thing.
01:41Every two days someone gets shot in the face, but that's not a big deal.
01:48It does happen on campus.
01:58$191,000.
02:02And the reason I paid that was because someone was like, you can't get a job without a degree.
02:06And as it turns out, you can't get a job with a degree, but no one told me that.
02:12I studied philosophy.
02:15I studied philosophy and classics.
02:19I thought classics was classic rock.
02:21It's not classic rock.
02:24It's Greek stuff.
02:25You can't get a job with Greek stuff.
02:27You can't walk into an office with a resume and be like, hi, I'm here to apply for the position of Zeus.
02:34Because they'll be like, Zeus is not an entry-level position.
02:36You started Hermes and you've got to work your way up.
02:43You know what I could have bought for $191,000?
02:46For $191,000, I could have bought two lions.
02:51What makes more of an impression in a job interview?
02:57A degree from a liberal arts university in philosophy or two goddamn lions?
03:05You walk in holding them on golden leashes and you sit down for your interview.
03:11And the guy's like, um, what are you looking for in the position?
03:16Oh, we're looking for someone with leadership skills.
03:18I am head of the pride.
03:24What do you bring to this company?
03:26Two lions.
03:28This is Thor and this is Mufasa.