Relationship coach says 'date three men at once to find Mr Right'

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A relationship expert says women should "date at least three men at once" and abstain from sex - so they don't "become attached" before evaluating who is right for them.  Kayleigh Castle, 35, is a dating and life coach who has spent the last three years sharing her top tips with women - to help them avoid mistaking a "chemical rush for a connection".   When it comes to dating, Kayleigh insists people are "too quick" to rush into a relationship or become exclusive.  She claims women should date at least three men at once - adding that dating does not equal sex and women should abstain from intimacy while in the dating phase.  Kayleigh compares dating to buying a house and says "you have to view the property a few times and check the foundations before jumping into bed".

Transcript

00:00People think I'm absolutely ridiculous for saying this.

00:02If you are a single female currently dating, this is what you need to do.

00:06Date multiple men. Date more than one man at once.

00:11Shock horror. Oh my god, Kayla, that's so ridiculous.

00:15Actually, it's not ridiculous. It's scientific, and let me explain to you why.

00:19I'd like to say that it's mainly men that moan about me saying that you should date

00:23multiple men at once, but I know that there's a lot of women that think what I say is ridiculous

00:27also. Here's why it's not so ridiculous. First of all, it's an English thing, okay?

00:32It's the English that moan about dating multiple men, because in America, it's standard. It's seen

00:38as like normal. Why would you waste your time on dating one bloke at once? Dating isn't a

00:45relationship. You should not be giving your loyalty and commitment to an absolute stranger

00:52you just met on the internet. Here's the facts, ladies, and you've already gone through this,

00:57so I'm not telling you anything that you haven't already heard or you haven't already

01:00experienced for yourself, and that is most men lie, okay? Most men, even if they don't lie,

01:06they might take a little white lie. They might not see it as a lie, but they usually wear a

01:10mask in the beginning, okay? They show up in the date and on the dates as someone who they think

01:16that you will find attractive rather than who they actually are. Then what happens a few months

01:22down the line? He can't hold up that pretense anymore. He can't pretend to be the person that

01:26he thinks you'll find attractive. He ends up having to be himself, and then it all crumbles,

01:32because you're like, well, I don't like that person. That's not who I fell in love with.

01:36That's not who I fancied. This isn't the person I met. Or he acts all lovey-dovey and really,

01:43really nice, but turns out later on, he's actually manipulative and narcissistic.

01:46There's so many different versions of this story that I know, as women, you have experienced.

01:52Women are auditorial, okay? Men are visual. Women are auditorial. And men subconsciously

01:57know this, okay? They know what to say to get you in your feels, okay? Women fall in love

02:04differently to men. We are susceptible to things that men aren't susceptible to. And when you

02:08don't understand the biochemistry, the psychology of the human behavior, you just set yourself up,

02:13like, not for failure, but just for repeating the same mistake over and over again when you don't

02:19need to do that. Quick little fact. Women can fall in love via text message, because text messages

02:24can literally release oxytocin, which is the bonding chemical for women, okay? This doesn't

02:30happen for men. Even if he's saying, oh, my God, I haven't met you yet, and I think you're so

02:35amazing, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and you haven't even been on a date, and yet he's saying

02:39he's got all in his feels for you, he's lying. This does not happen for men. They are visual

02:43creatures. For men, feelings start from date one, from when he first meets you, right? So if you're

02:49getting in your feels on the text message that have been happening for months before you've

02:52even met, and he's saying that's happening for him, he's lying. Women, by dating multiple men,

02:59you are allowing them to show you who is the weakest link. You are allowing time and patience

03:06for that person to show you who he truly is before you get your feelings invested in that man. When

03:12you date multiple men, you will find it harder to get connected to them because you are evaluating,

03:20you are looking, you are assessing, because dating is evaluating. It isn't a relationship,

03:25and the weakest links will always take themselves out of the situation. You won't need to spy.

03:29They'll just, they'll happily take themselves out because they'll know that they haven't got the

03:34ability to manipulate you, and let's just confirm. Dating is dating, okay? So in your head,

03:42when I say date, that does not equal schmexy time, okay? No. Dating is exactly what I'm saying is

03:52dating. So if you are having schmexy time, that changes everything that I just spoke about. That

03:58just changes the whole situation, okay? Because when women are having schmexy time, it's releasing

04:02some other chemicals in you. It's releasing, you're getting like bonded to that man, and that's just a

04:07whole new story, and I'll do a different video on that.

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