Andrew Garfield joins GQ as he revisits some of the most iconic characters from his career so far: from playing Peter Parker/Spider-Man in The Amazing Spider-Man and Marvel’s Cinematic Universe to Tobias Durand in the romantic drama We Live in Time.“You want it to feel like you’re actually doing something that has effect, that can create some ripples in a young person’s life,” says the American actor as he reflects on his role as Spider-Man. “[Something] that can wake them up to their own extraordinariness and their own ordinariness, as both being normal.” Watch the full episode of GQ’s Iconic Characters as Andrew Garfield breaks down his most iconic movie roles.
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00:00What I love about being an actor is I get to inhabit and experience all the different parts
00:05of myself and honor all the different parts of myself, the foolish, playful, silly parts,
00:11as well as the high-minded kind of spiritually, you know, longing parts and the lover, the warrior,
00:17the thief, you know, it's just such a great profession, such a lucky profession.
00:22The amazing Spider-Man, Peter Parker.
00:31Just let me go.
00:32Is that a knife? Is that a real knife?
00:34Yes, it's a real knife.
00:35My weakness.
00:36It's small knives.
00:37Just let me go.
00:37Everything but knives!
00:39Oh, it's so simple.
00:40That was cool.
00:41What the hell is this?
00:42Webbing that I developed myself.
00:43I don't think you really want to know.
00:44Come on, let me go!
00:46It was daunting because I know what it means to me.
00:52I know what that character means to me.
00:55And therefore, I can imagine what it means to every other person that it means something to.
01:00But I loved the responsibility, actually.
01:03I was so up for it.
01:05I was so grateful for it.
01:07And I was very healthily afraid.
01:09But it was that kind of fear that fills you with energy.
01:11Like, I wasn't really sleeping at night because I know what it required of me.
01:15I know I needed to be completely turned on and tuned in
01:18to making it the best possible version I could make it.
01:21And being infused with that kind of muse and energy and spirit,
01:25it's a wonderful experience.
01:27It is exhausting, but you get taken over.
01:29What an amazing gift to be able to be given, to be the custodian,
01:34the temporary, I should add, custodian.
01:37It shouldn't only ever be that, of this beloved character
01:42that is such a symbol for so many people.
01:44And a reminder for so many people of what they're capable of,
01:48what we are capable of.
01:51Put it on.
01:52The mask.
01:53It's gonna make you strong.
01:55Jack, trust me.
01:57Put it on.
01:59There you go.
01:59That's it.
02:00That's it, buddy.
02:01That's it.
02:01Okay, now climb.
02:03Come on, Jack.
02:07Do me a favor a little faster, okay, bud?
02:09When I was first cast,
02:11and I started engaging with the creative team and Mark, the director,
02:16I think it was to do with that feeling of responsibility.
02:18I think storytellers are the shamans of the culture and always have been.
02:21Diving into mythology and diving into like stealing from our oldest stories
02:26and making sure that we are providing the good medicine,
02:32particularly to young people in a film
02:34that a lot of young people obviously are gonna see.
02:37Even if it's like a subliminal medicine,
02:39the medicine that's hidden in, you know, candy bar.
02:42You want it to feel like you're actually doing something that has effect,
02:46that can create some ripples in a young person's life
02:49that can kind of wake them up to their own extraordinariness
02:54and their own ordinariness as both being honorable.
03:01Okay.
03:05Who the hell are you?
03:06I'm Peter Parker.
03:08That's not possible.
03:09I am Spider-Man in my world.
03:12There was a big gap between me doing Spider-Man, my amazing Spider-Man 2
03:16and then the No Way Home with the gang.
03:18And in that time, you know, I've stayed reasonably fit
03:21and like I like being physical and staying in shape.
03:24I had done a lot of my stunts on the first two films
03:28and then, you know, it came to the one with the more aged Spider-Man
03:33and I was so excited to be back doing stunts again.
03:36And the first stunt I did, I threw my back out entirely on the first take
03:41and I didn't do it right.
03:42So I kept on doing it.
03:43I did like three or four
03:44and I had thrown my back out into like six or seven months to recover.
03:48It's time to stretch.
03:49It's time to start stretching before you do things.
03:51There's a moment where I cracked Toby's back in the film.
03:54Yeah, that's good.
03:55All of that was coming out of us chatting, all of us with John Watts
04:00and going, well, what would it be?
04:01What is the dynamic here?
04:03And what are the things that we can nod to?
04:06And, you know, it's like, well, what's the reality of now?
04:09Being these older guys wearing spandex
04:12and how do we acknowledge that in a way that feels real and funny?
04:16So do you like make your own web fluid in your body?
04:20I'd rather not talk about this.
04:22No, I don't mean to.
04:22Are you teasing me?
04:23No, no, no, no, no, no.
04:24He's not teasing you.
04:25It's just that we can't do that.
04:27So naturally, we're curious as to how your web situation works.
04:30I look back very, very fondly.
04:32There was some healing that happened between the three of us doing that together.
04:35And it suddenly felt lighter, I think, to all of us in a way,
04:39for the characters, but also for us as actors.
04:41It's like, oh, yeah, we would share about what our struggles were.
04:44It was like, you know, Spider-Man group therapy.
04:47That's like such a weird thing.
04:49But it was so much fun, so lovely chatting about, you know,
04:53just telling stories and sharing experiences.
04:56And it was surreal, kind of heavenly.
05:01The Social Network, Eduardo Saverin.
05:05Are you all right?
05:06I need you.
05:07I'm here for you.
05:08No, I need the algorithm you use to rank chess players.
05:10Are you okay?
05:12We're ranking girls.
05:15You mean other students?
05:16Yeah.
05:17You think this is such a good idea?
05:19Oh, my God.
05:20It was such a specific in-between time for Facebook, I think.
05:23I believe I had come off of it already before having read the script.
05:27It just wasn't somewhere I wanted to be.
05:31And it felt, I think at that time it did feel like
05:34reputation of Zuckerberg was slightly being called into question
05:39and his intentions and his, you know,
05:42whether he had the maturity,
05:45the access to his own heart and humanity
05:48to preside over such a huge responsibility,
05:51you know, making this, you know, new town square.
05:54I had an unease.
05:56I had an unease around it.
05:57Like I think everyone did and everyone still does.
06:00Aaron Sorkin captured the terror of what this person had created,
06:06the kind of the potential toxicity of it.
06:08It's this interesting thing where it's like,
06:11takes the person that makes the thing
06:14and kind of you can then identify the personal wounds
06:17and the personal fallibility of the person
06:19and how it's been passed into the very system
06:22and the very platform or the very product
06:24or the organization that has been created.
06:26It's like the fish rotting from the head down.
06:29I feel like what Aaron captures so beautifully is,
06:32oh, this man's personal problems
06:35have become all of our collective personal problems.
06:38You know, a man that has seemingly
06:40through the lens of this film,
06:42has struggles to connect on a human level with other humans,
06:45has now made it impossible for us all to connect
06:49on a human level with other humans.
06:51I don't know whether he is able to connect with them.
06:53I think Eduardo is open and wanting to have a brotherhood
06:56with Mark in this version of the story, obviously.
06:59It takes two to tango.
07:00He's not able to do it for whatever reason.
07:04Mr. Sav.
07:09Mark!
07:11Mark!
07:12He's wired in.
07:12Sorry?
07:13He's wired in.
07:13Is he?
07:14Yes.
07:16How about now?
07:17You're still wired in?
07:18I didn't realize it was going to be so heartbreaking.
07:21You know, because on the page you could think,
07:22oh, well, this is just a guy
07:24that's been fucked out of a bunch of money.
07:26But I think what makes it meaningful and impactful
07:28is that it's a one-sided love brotherhood relationship.
07:33It's a guy that's holding space for his friend
07:35to show up in the way that he believes he can.
07:39He was just deluded all along, it turns out.
07:42And I think the majority of human beings
07:44have been in that situation
07:45where they believe in someone's capacity.
07:50And, oh, I see beauty in you.
07:52I know that you're in there
07:54and other people just can't see it,
07:55but I'm going to hang in there and tease it out of you.
07:58And then you realize, oh, wait a minute.
08:01I've wasted so much energy and time
08:02because this person was always going to be exactly as they...
08:05That's on me.
08:06Like, there's no betrayal, really.
08:08Like, the signs were there.
08:10And I don't think Jesse plays him as a sociopath.
08:12I think Jesse plays him as someone actually full of longing,
08:15someone full of insecurity,
08:18someone full of fallibility and ego,
08:22a young, egotistical guy who is driven by things
08:25that are self-serving, ultimately.
08:27And I think what I love about Aaron and his writing
08:30is that he wanted to make a film
08:31in the vein of Kurosawa's Rashomon,
08:33which is one event from four different perspectives
08:37and every single one of them is true.
08:39So I think the Winklevoss twins have a true narrative.
08:42Eduardo has a true narrative.
08:43Mark has a true narrative.
08:44His first girlfriend has a true narrative.
08:46Everyone's narrative is real and true.
08:48And that's the terrible thing about being a human being
08:52is that who's more right than the other?
08:54And there's no such thing as more right than the other,
08:57unless you're talking about objective, factual things.
09:02Hacksaw Ridge, Desmond Doss.
09:06Are you grinning at me, boy, or is that your natural state?
09:08No, Sergeant.
09:09Name private.
09:10Desmond Doss.
09:11I have seen stocks of corn with better physiques.
09:14Makes me want to pull an ear off private.
09:17Can you carry your weight?
09:18Yes, Sergeant.
09:19Should be easy for you then.
09:21Corporal.
09:22Sergeant.
09:22Make sure you keep this man away from strong winds.
09:24Yes, Sergeant.
09:26Desmond Doss was a simple man, really devoted, religious man.
09:31He was a pacifist and he was also full of vigor
09:35and passion to serve during World War II.
09:38But as a pacifist, he wasn't a wimp,
09:41but he was someone that just didn't believe
09:43that physical violence was the answer ever.
09:45And he managed to save, I believe it was 70 to 71,
09:4872 of his American fellow servicemen.
09:51And he saved a bunch of Japanese soldiers as well.
09:53He dragged them all to the edge of this ridge
09:56and fashioned a kind of harness and rope
09:59and lowered them down.
10:00And he did superhuman feats in the name of love
10:02for his fellow man.
10:04He gives all the glory to his God.
10:06But I tell you, there were physically impossible feats
10:09that he was doing, because I tried to do them on the day.
10:11I couldn't do it twice.
10:12But the necessity, it's like what happens
10:15when the strength that enters the body of a mother
10:19who has to lift a car suddenly off of their dying child.
10:22It's that kind of inspiration that this guy had
10:27and this faith, this unwavering faith that he had
10:30that meant, I don't know, in some way,
10:33it felt like he was being guided
10:35and touched by some unseen force.
10:42My brother is a doctor.
10:44So it felt like I was honoring both of them.
10:45And my mother in her gentle care
10:48for everyone that she came across
10:49and my brother in his devotion to healing people
10:52and to keeping people alive.
10:55The never-enoughness of that profession,
10:57like it's what one has to do in order to survive that
11:00and to keep going and not to fall into despair
11:03if something goes wrong or a mistake is made
11:07or you feel like you could have done more.
11:09Where the hell are you going, Doss?
11:12Still more wounded out there, Sarge.
11:15I'll go with him.
11:17Be smart, keep your ears down.
11:20All right, let's find a spot.
11:22There's a bunch of really brilliant Australian actors
11:25that I got to work with and bond with
11:27in the course of that job.
11:28We were shooting in Sydney and around Australia
11:30and Aussies are the best, Aussie actors are the best,
11:33Aussie crew is the best.
11:34It was just a really, I'd never been to Australia,
11:36so I was having a really great time.
11:38And these guys were just great.
11:39It's what happens, you actually get to create a little tribe,
11:42little battalion with a bunch of guys
11:45you hadn't known previously on a job like that.
11:48We just loved hanging out.
11:49We loved being with each other and ribbing each other
11:51and taking the piss out of each other and fucking about.
11:54So when it came to those battle sequences,
11:56you know, the brothers in arms stuff,
11:57it was kind of joyous.
11:58But one of the jokes we would have,
12:00you know, it was exhausting and it was,
12:02but like one of us at a certain point
12:04would have to break the bubble and be like,
12:05yeah, I know fake war is so hard
12:09because it was just, you know,
12:10we were just pretending to be at war.
12:13Who would wimp out first on an actual battlefield?
12:16And it was like actors on an actual battlefield is like,
12:19you know, we would all be like, no, you go ahead.
12:22It's very, very Tropic Thunder, yeah.
12:23One of my favorite movies.
12:24And Mel, our director is someone who's,
12:28it's a real meritocracy.
12:29There's no hierarchy in a way.
12:32He's one of the guys
12:35and he's kind of in there with us
12:38and didn't feel like we had a boss in a way.
12:41It felt like we were all just making this thing together.
12:44And it was a really, really special feeling.
12:49Tick, tick, boom, Jonathan Larson.
12:52And in eight days, my youth will be over forever.
12:57And what exactly do I have to show for myself?
13:02Happy birthday.
13:05Stop the clock.
13:07Jonathan Larson was a musical theater legend,
13:13still is a musical theater legend.
13:15And he achieved that at such a young age.
13:17He is the creator of Rent.
13:21He changed musical theater forever with Rent.
13:23And he tragically died the night before
13:26the first preview of Broadway of Rent.
13:28And he made a one-man show called Tick, tick, boom
13:31just before he wrote Rent.
13:34And our film is a version of that one-man show
13:38kind of expanded into a little memoir, autobiography,
13:43vignettes, tone poem, all that jazz style
13:48kind of in Jonathan Larson's head.
13:51I'm far enough away from it now
13:52to be able to objectively say
13:56how lucky that I was to be able to,
14:00well, given the opportunity to play him and inhabit him.
14:03Lin is a creative powerhouse.
14:06He is a visionary.
14:07He is uncensored, unbridled and inspiring to be around.
14:13And it didn't feel like his first film.
14:15He had the confidence to collaborate in a way
14:18that only the great filmmakers have.
14:19He wasn't controlling.
14:21He was liberating and inspiring.
14:23He wanted everyone to bring their talent to the thing.
14:26And I didn't know how to sing and he entrusted me
14:30and he educated me on musical theater.
14:32He provided me with a great education on this art form
14:36that I admired from afar, but never fully engaged with.
14:40He owes his career, his inspirational
14:43in a lot of ways to Jonathan Larson.
14:46So his desire to honor John was pure
14:49that he's aware of all of the interconnectedness
14:51of all the things.
14:52He follows his own golden thread.
14:54He just kind of instinctively knows where he has to be
14:57and what he has to be working on.
14:58And you can feel it through the film.
14:59You can feel it through all of his work,
15:01but like particularly I'm thinking about a moment
15:03in the film where Jonathan Larson's, you know
15:06ultimate hero mentor, Stephen Sondheim
15:09leaves a voice message for John on his answering machine
15:12giving a proper mentorship moment.
15:15John, Steve Sondheim here.
15:17Rosa gave me this number.
15:18I hope it's okay to call you.
15:20I didn't get a chance to speak with you after the reading
15:22but I just wanted to say it was really good.
15:26Congratulations.
15:27I'd love to get together and talk to you about it.
15:29If you have any interest, no pressure.
15:31The main thing though is that it's first grade work
15:34and it has a future and so do you.
15:37I'll call you later with some thoughts if that's okay.
15:40Meanwhile, be proud.
15:42In that moment in the film
15:43it feels like the lineage of musical theater
15:47is just in one very pure direct line
15:50from Sondheim to John to Lynn.
15:52It was like being caught
15:53in like a Ghostbusters like, you know, stream.
15:58It felt just like you're in the center of the musical universe.
16:02Lynn can create moments of magic like that through instinct.
16:06Things that feel like touching the third rail.
16:10Something profound and magical happening.
16:12Another energy coming in, yeah.
16:16Silence, Sebastiao Rodriguez.
16:20I saw men die.
16:22I did too.
16:23For deus, on fire with their faith.
16:27Your martyrs may have been on fire, Father,
16:29but it was not with the Christian faith.
16:32I saw them die.
16:33I saw them die.
16:34They did not die for nothing.
16:36When Scorsese asks you to participate,
16:40you kind of clear the books
16:41and you kind of cancel all other plans.
16:44And I did, I took a year to study
16:46with a great Jesuit priest, Father James Martin
16:49and travel to silent retreats and to Portugal
16:53and just study and create a connection with the Jesuit faith.
16:58And it was an ascetic time because I lost 30 pounds
17:04and I'd never gone that far before.
17:06But when it's Marty, you're like,
17:07well, I better pull out all the stops
17:11and give all of myself to this.
17:13I didn't know, I didn't know if I had any perception.
17:15I was obviously very, I was bowing deeply as I entered,
17:19you know, the magnitude of him as an iconic artist
17:22and filmmaker.
17:23And then I guess I was surprised just by how avuncular
17:26and kind and fun and sweet and easygoing he was
17:30and how he had no interest in being treated
17:34as any kind of icon.
17:36He just wanted to have a good time and have a laugh.
17:38He was very, very funny.
17:39We would have these amazing conversations.
17:41I would go to his place in New York
17:44and just sit by the fireplace with him.
17:46And we would have dinner with his family.
17:47And then we would sit for a couple of hours,
17:49which was like once every couple of weeks.
17:51And we would talk about the book.
17:52We would talk about the Shusako Endo book, Silence.
17:55And then we would talk about faith
17:57and we would talk about ego.
17:59And we would talk about the mystery of faith.
18:02We knew the conversations that I would be going home
18:05because whenever we, it was usually about two hours in
18:09and there would be a pause
18:10that was longer than like 10 seconds.
18:12We were both like both staring at the fire.
18:14And then he would be like, all right, kid.
18:17And then that was it.
18:18And that was that night done.
18:2299 Homes, Dennis Nash.
18:26I understand what you're saying, Mr. Carver.
18:29We've been getting our eviction notices.
18:31I was in court yesterday.
18:33And the judge informed me
18:35that I got 30 days to file for an appeal.
18:37It was after I did the second Spider-Man film.
18:41So there's some pattern here
18:43where I need to, I just physically go,
18:46I need to fucking put my hands back on the earth.
18:50And Ramin Barani, who I'd seen,
18:52I loved Chop Shop and Man Push Car,
18:54these two other films that he'd made previously.
18:57I thought they were really in the vein of Ken Loach,
19:00kind of very humanist, spiritual filmmaking
19:05for the working class,
19:06which is my ancestry and like on both sides.
19:10And it's the kind of storytelling that,
19:12Ken Loach is one of my favorite filmmakers of all time.
19:14It loosely feels like a modern version
19:16of the Grapes of Wrath,
19:17of man's inhumanity to man or the Bicycle Thieves.
19:20The setup of this kind of predatory late stage capitalism
19:23that we're current crisis.
19:24I can get basic investment group away from him
19:27and my team can handle as many homes as you have to sell.
19:30Well, I have upwards of a thousand homes, possibly more.
19:33And how it forces us to dehumanize each other
19:36in order to survive,
19:37which is just a made up fucking container.
19:41That's the crazy part is that the current culture
19:44we're in is just, has been decided, created
19:48and made up by a bunch of people
19:50that it serves.
19:52What do you have in there?
19:55A steak.
19:56What?
19:56That's a hamburger helper if I ever heard of anything.
19:59What does that look like to you?
20:02That looks like dinner for Dana.
20:04Dana, you come on and join us.
20:06You put that under your t-shirt.
20:08It felt like my family's story in a way,
20:12in a period of time where my family
20:15were in terrible financial trouble,
20:17which is I think the story of most American people
20:19at a certain point.
20:20And I loved working with non-actors.
20:23I loved working with actors who had been foreclosed on,
20:26who had had their homes taken.
20:29Felt like a privilege to be able to meet these people,
20:34research with these people,
20:35do our best to try and reflect their experiences
20:38combined with our own personal experiences.
20:40It just felt like a real privilege.
20:41I think it's a survival thing for the character, Dennis.
20:45It's eat or be eaten.
20:48If you have to take a bulldozer to your neighbor's house
20:51in order to feed your own family,
20:56I don't know a man or a woman that wouldn't do the same
21:00if it was survival.
21:02It doesn't call into question our humanity, actually.
21:05It calls into question the lack of humanity
21:08in these systems that have been created
21:10and in the systems that we all have to function in to survive.
21:15Under the Silver Lake, Sam.
21:19Hey, can I ask you a question?
21:24Yes.
21:28You ever see her around?
21:31Sarah.
21:32Yeah, you know what happened to her?
21:34Inspired by After Hours, in a way, Under the Silver Lake.
21:38That was one of the films on David Robert Mitchell's
21:40film watch list for me to prep.
21:43He was like, you need to see After Hours on there, of course.
21:45I'll see it again.
21:46But it's very, it feels that what is real, what is not real.
21:50I was in Australia.
21:51I just finished Hacksaw Ridge.
21:54And I was tired of playing religious, spiritually,
21:59men trying to transcend.
22:01And then I took a two-week break
22:04and I drove up the coast to Byron Bay,
22:06just a solo surf trip.
22:08My agents had sent me.
22:10They said, hey, have you seen It Follows?
22:12And I was like, I have no desire to see It Follows
22:15because I'm a scaredy cat and I don't like scary films.
22:20And I hear it's like reinventing the horror genre.
22:22And they were like, well, we think you're going to like it.
22:24And I loved it.
22:25It was inventive and terrifying and thematically fascinating
22:30and tonally fascinating and just a proper filmmaker.
22:33Why do we just assume that all of this infrastructure
22:38and entertainment and open information
22:42that is beaming all over the place,
22:45all the time into every single home on the planet
22:49is exactly what we're told it is.
22:52Down a rabbit hole of no meaning, maybe, or a question mark.
22:58I don't know.
22:59And I loved it.
23:00It just felt like the Goonies to me.
23:02It felt like a guy that's too old to still wanting to be a Goonie.
23:06Still trying to chase some mysterious treasure
23:10with a map found in a Wheaties box or whatever.
23:14It read like unlike anything else I'd ever read.
23:17And it was 160 pages and had ciphers in the script
23:22and had images and like marketing stuff within.
23:26I was like, this guy is, I just love this guy.
23:28And I just want to play with him.
23:30And it just felt like, again,
23:31just this kind of pendulum swing to something very, very different.
23:36Death of a Salesman, Biff Lohman.
23:39Mike Nichols had asked me after seeing the Social Network
23:42to play Biff in Death of a Salesman
23:44with Phil Hoffman and Linda Eamond.
23:46I suppose it could be seen as a bit of a left field choice.
23:48It felt grounding.
23:49I don't know how to explain it.
23:50Apart from it felt really grounding.
23:52I think particularly because I knew
23:54I was about to go off on a big international press tour
23:58and that my life was about to change.
23:59It felt like an instinctive thing.
24:01I was like, I need to just ground.
24:03The essence, the essential purpose that I've,
24:07that brought me into this work in the first place, which is theater.
24:12It's about the play.
24:13The play's the thing.
24:13It's not about the actors.
24:14It's much more satisfying getting into a deep conversation
24:17about Death of a Salesman or about Angels in America.
24:20That's just what turns me on more.
24:22He's one of my favorite actors, Phil, and always will be.
24:25He was this rigorous pursuer of truth.
24:29There was no bells and whistles.
24:31It was, what's the truest thing here?
24:33And it's so weird because his performances are so full of bells and whistles.
24:38They all emanate from a place of truth.
24:42He's an actor that can create things that are as real as reality
24:47in the way that they are stranger than fiction.
24:49He had one of those hearts and one of those souls
24:52that when it was revealed to us as an audience,
24:56when it was revealed to us as actors playing with him,
24:58it was just the purest, the purest spirit,
25:02full of the purest longings of what it is to be a human being.
25:05He was a creative powerhouse.
25:07To be able to pretend that he was my father
25:11and to wrestle with him in that way,
25:12in that kind of fierce way every night for however long we made that play,
25:16whew, you know, a privilege, like a big privilege of my life.
25:20♪♪♪♪
25:23Boy A, Jack Burridge.
25:25I'm told you've been to prison a couple of times.
25:30Yeah, but I mean...
25:31Listen, I only bring it up to reassure you that your secret's safe, all right?
25:39I believe a man deserves a second chance.
25:42I also believe in his right to privacy.
25:45So, uh, mum's the word.
25:48God, it was such an interesting thing.
25:50It was the second time I'd ever been to prison.
25:52God, it was such an interesting thing.
25:54It was the second film I made, and I was so young,
25:57and I was so inexperienced.
25:58And with John Crowley, who directed We Live in Time,
26:00we've been wanting to work together since.
26:02Felt, again, in the realm of a Ken Loach film.
26:05Felt like a humanist kind of film.
26:08And it's a question of whether we can change, whether we can reform.
26:12What's a proportional response to things we do as children,
26:17even if they are as terrifying as murder?
26:22And I think for me, it was very clear what my intention was with the character,
26:27was that he absolutely did deserve a second chance.
26:29And he was entirely reformed and was no longer a threat.
26:35He knows what damage he can cause,
26:39and he never, ever wants to risk causing damage to another person in any way again.
26:44His experience as a young person gives him more humanity,
26:48more access to his own humanity than other people
26:51that haven't brushed up against their own capacities in that way.
26:56You know, it's one of those moments where you kind of go,
26:59it feels like a dream.
27:01Genuinely feels like a dream.
27:03You have fantasies that you kind of like, as you're going to sleep,
27:07you kind of go, oh, if I ever win a BAFTA or an Oscar or like,
27:12oh yeah, I would do this and I would say that.
27:14But that's all it is, it's a fantasy.
27:16I don't think there was ever a part of me that was like, this is going to happen.
27:20You know, a lot of actors have that feeling of like,
27:22oh, I know where I'm heading.
27:24And I'm like, I have no idea where I'm heading.
27:25I don't even think I have anything to offer.
27:28In that moment, I was riddled, addled with insecurities
27:31and like doubt and like imposter syndrome.
27:34And I still am to a degree.
27:36I don't think that ever goes away.
27:37But that moment was quite spectacular.
27:41It felt like an embrace.
27:42We all long for that.
27:44We all want to belong.
27:46We all want to feel accepted.
27:47We all want to feel like we're adding something of value
27:53to people's lives or to the culture or to our community.
27:55And in that moment, it was total.
27:57It felt total.
28:00Angels in America, Prior Walter.
28:05Lewis, Lewis, please wake up.
28:07Oh, God.
28:13I think, I think something horrible is wrong with me.
28:16I can't breathe.
28:17I'm calling the ambulance.
28:18No, wait, I don't.
28:20Are you fucking crazy?
28:21Oh, God, you're on fire.
28:22Your head is on fire.
28:24I'm now far enough removed from it to be able to ask the same thing
28:27and kind of look back and go, I don't know how that,
28:30because I didn't miss a show and neither did Nathan Lane.
28:32It's more remarkable that Nathan didn't miss the show
28:34because he's slightly older
28:36and the stamina that that required from him.
28:39There's some other energy that comes.
28:41And I remember there were nights and days on Angels
28:45where I would wake up and want to cry because I'm like,
28:48I can't, I don't know how,
28:50like literally like I'm on the verge of a physical nervous system failure breakdown.
28:56And there was one particular person, a mentor of mine,
28:58a teacher of mine that I would call and I would say,
29:01hey, I'm really worried about myself.
29:03I'm worried that I actually can't, that I'm going to fall over on stage.
29:08And she would always say, lean back, lean back, give it to the spirits,
29:14give it to God, give it to your higher power,
29:16give it to the invisible forces that have put you in this position to serve.
29:21I survived and did it.
29:22And it was, those were probably the better shows because I was out of the way.
29:25So I think there's some other energy that comes
29:29when you're in the right place in the right time
29:31and you're intentional and you want to actually,
29:34I don't know what it is.
29:35There's some other thing that brings you to the place
29:39and through difficulty in order to deliver the message.
29:45And I would pray every night, genuinely.
29:48I'd be on stage after my vocal physical warmup,
29:51just before the people started to come in.
29:54And I would pray to the spirits of the people lost during that.
29:59I would say, come on in, come and get some healing.
30:02There's a bunch of people coming in to the theater that we'll be bringing you all into,
30:07like family members, friends, lovers.
30:09And then you just kind of go, okay, let's see what happens tonight
30:12because I don't know how to do it tonight.
30:14And I feel that way about Desmond Doss, feel that way about Jonathan Larson,
30:17feel that way about Father Rodriguez in Silence.
30:20Even, you know, my character in Under the Silver Lake,
30:23he was filled with some spirit calling him
30:25and pulling him into his life towards some mystery or some destiny.
30:29We live in time, Tobias Duran.
30:33There is something that your daddy and I...
30:36There's something that Mummy and me want to...
30:39We want to talk to you about.
30:41It's a bit serious, though.
30:42I play a character called Tobias Duran,
30:44and he is a draw-between-the-lines guy at the beginning of the film.
30:48He's someone that does not want to rock the boat.
30:50He is someone that thinks, mistakenly,
30:53that if he behaves well, according to society,
30:57if he behaves well, according to society's values,
30:59he will be rewarded.
31:00And it's not true.
31:01He finds himself deadened, numbed,
31:05without any vitality in his life at the beginning of this story,
31:07in a marriage that isn't working.
31:09And suddenly, he's being given a second chance
31:13of being courageous and brave in his life.
31:15It becomes an adventure.
31:17I hadn't worked for a year,
31:20because I was knackered after Angels in America
31:24and the spirit of Jonathan Larson pulling me around.
31:27And then We Live in Time came along,
31:29and I was like,
31:29oh, maybe this can just be a gentle, nice thing that I can go and do.
31:32And as soon as I was there, it was like,
31:34no, you're back.
31:35It was suddenly like the spirits of that film
31:38started to just pull at me.
31:40And I was like, oh my God, this is for my dad.
31:41My dad has been through this exact fucking experience.
31:44I have friends who are going through similar experiences.
31:46Oh my God, suddenly it's like,
31:47okay, great, the muses are back.
31:50It's never me.
31:51I'm just like, I will fucking try and put shape
31:55to the things that you're trying to put into the world.
31:58What a privilege.
31:59I've been used.
32:00I've been used by whatever those good muses are
32:05that want their voice in the world.
32:09What's happened to my underwear?
32:11Oh, I literally have no idea.
32:13So sorry, but do we know each other?
32:15Yeah, no.
32:16Even the harder, more emotionally full,
32:20challenging, vulnerable scenes
32:22were very pleasurable with her.
32:24And she was surprised at that.
32:25She was like, that shouldn't have been fun.
32:26And I'm like, well, you are the kind of the brush
32:29and the color, but the person holding
32:32or the force holding the brush is not you.
32:35You're just being moved.
32:37It's so beautiful when you get to do that
32:39because it requires another actor to do that with you.
32:43And she's someone that is so talented
32:46that she trusts her own instrument.
32:50Letting go is the best.
32:51So when you can let go with your fellow scene partner,
32:55it's heaven.
32:56But that requires a lot of trust and safety
32:58and knowing that the other person is not judging you.