The Three Badasses Who Want Me (2024) - Full HD Movie
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00:00:00Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:00:03Angela, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:06I don't understand why you do so much for him
00:00:08behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity.
00:00:11Now sign the divorce paper.
00:00:15Baby, I'll sign it.
00:00:19You don't regret it.
00:00:24My lovely princess, I've selected three prime young men
00:00:28for you to choose from.
00:00:29I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:00:35You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:00:37I'm going.
00:00:38I need to pick up my bride.
00:00:42No!
00:00:42Don't prepare my warplane!
00:00:44Don't do it, or you'll have to buy me out soon.
00:00:50What's the situation here?
00:00:51I want to marry you.
00:00:52I want to marry you.
00:00:59Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list,
00:01:03arrives at Atlanta today.
00:01:05What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia,
00:01:07a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:01:09Angela, my next door neighbor, still
00:01:12selling your hippie junk here?
00:01:14If your mother-in-law sees, she's
00:01:15going to throw a big fit again.
00:01:19Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:01:22What's the point of this?
00:01:23I'm not going to marry you.
00:01:25Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:01:28What's the point of watching the news all day
00:01:29about these mongrels if you can't even
00:01:31apply it to your penniless self?
00:01:33And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:01:37All right, everybody get out.
00:01:40We got an important guest coming.
00:01:44You.
00:01:49You deaf?
00:01:50I said pack up and scram.
00:01:52I paid the staff here already.
00:01:53And if you want me to leave, then fine.
00:01:56But you have to compensate for today's losses.
00:01:59You want to say that again?
00:02:02You know who's visiting today?
00:02:05Ellen freaking Musk, one of the richest people in the world.
00:02:08Ellen Musk?
00:02:10Of course, a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:02:12Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:02:16Really?
00:02:17Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta
00:02:19just to come to some flea market.
00:02:22You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:02:28Coming to see you.
00:02:30All right, you know what?
00:02:31I'll play your game.
00:02:33If she does it so much as give you a glance, I'll eat dirt.
00:02:39Deal.
00:02:40Let's go.
00:02:49Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within 10 minutes.
00:02:52Or else, you're fired.
00:03:11Prepare the limo.
00:03:12Miss Lockhart requires us immediately.
00:03:21Ah, your 10 minutes is almost up.
00:03:23Good.
00:03:24Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:03:26Five, four, three, two, one.
00:03:40Ellen, I mean, Miss Musk, Ellen, I mean,
00:03:44I'm sorry that I started to frighten you.
00:03:49How's my boss bitch?
00:03:51Kickin' ass, girlfriend.
00:03:53So how do you, like?
00:03:56She's my boss.
00:03:59I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:04:03No way.
00:04:04Well?
00:04:09No, no, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss.
00:04:11No, I won't do it again.
00:04:17All right, that's enough.
00:04:18We're not tyrants here.
00:04:26Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:04:34You mean Angela Lockhart, my honorary bride.
00:04:40You made me lose $1 million in just one game of poker.
00:04:45Who are you?
00:04:46Ah!
00:04:49Where is she?
00:04:50Atlanta, and you were right.
00:04:52It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:04:54My clever bride, I will chase you to the end of the world
00:04:58if I have to.
00:05:03Max, prep the jet.
00:05:06I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:05:11Dr. Wilson, that McSterling's on the move.
00:05:13He's headed to Atlanta.
00:05:15Atlanta?
00:05:16The game is afoot.
00:05:17I'm going.
00:05:18Wait, Dr. Wilson, the Prince of Bhutan
00:05:20needs your medical attention.
00:05:21He can wait.
00:05:22I need to pick up my bride.
00:05:27Dr. Wilson!
00:05:34General Eisenhower reporting, sir!
00:05:37Dr. Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:05:40Atlanta!
00:05:42Where is that?
00:05:44Whatever, prepare my warplane.
00:05:46Those two are going after my fiancee.
00:05:49This is war.
00:06:04I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper,
00:06:06to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project,
00:06:08like you asked me to.
00:06:10Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:06:12This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:06:15That project is worth billions.
00:06:16He can finally take his company public.
00:06:19But Angela, my boss, I don't understand
00:06:23why you do so much for him behind the scenes
00:06:25without ever revealing your true identity.
00:06:29Without your backing, I don't know
00:06:32Without your backing, no offense,
00:06:34but he's nothing without you.
00:06:36Well, three years ago.
00:06:38Three years ago.
00:06:59You saved me.
00:07:04He saved me, and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:07:08I didn't want to reveal my true identity
00:07:10because I didn't want him to feel
00:07:11the pressure of being with a billionaire heiress.
00:07:15But now, with this contract, I feel like we'll
00:07:18be on more equal footing, and then I can finally
00:07:20come out to the public.
00:07:22So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:07:26I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:07:30But why work at the flea market?
00:07:33Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:07:36Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare
00:07:40and cost a portion to find.
00:07:42Plus, I get to make the best dishes
00:07:44for my hubby and his mom.
00:07:46You seem happy being a housewife.
00:07:48Yeah.
00:07:48Yeah.
00:07:49Yeah.
00:07:50Yeah.
00:07:52Where the hell are you?
00:07:53Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:07:56Get home, stat.
00:07:58It's a big day today.
00:08:01That was?
00:08:02My mother-in-law, Carol.
00:08:05She judges me because she thinks I
00:08:06come from a lower-class family.
00:08:08But she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out
00:08:11and tell her who I really am.
00:08:14You know, she even remembered our 30-year anniversary.
00:08:22Please spend more time with my son.
00:08:26Hi, I'm home.
00:08:28I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:08:30Finally, you're back.
00:08:32Now sign the divorce papers.
00:08:36Divorce papers?
00:08:39Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
00:08:42God, don't call me Mom again.
00:08:45We're ending that relationship.
00:08:48Just look at you, dirt all over.
00:08:50You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:08:53You don't deserve my son.
00:08:54You're way below his league.
00:08:57I'm below his league?
00:08:59That's right.
00:09:00You are.
00:09:02Jared is signing $100 billion contract tomorrow
00:09:06with the Ellen Musk.
00:09:09And then his company's going public.
00:09:11That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:09:14But you, you're still just a stinky, hippie peddler.
00:09:20Jared's like the king in the clouds.
00:09:22And you, you will always just be a pawn,
00:09:27like dirt on our shoes.
00:09:32Dirt on your shoes?
00:09:34But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:09:38You're delusional.
00:09:39You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:09:42How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here?
00:09:48Resorting to lies, definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:09:51And who are you to come into my house
00:09:55and meddle with my family matters?
00:09:59You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:10:04Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee,
00:10:07not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:10:09Enough!
00:10:10Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:10:15But I am.
00:10:17Don't fight it, Angela.
00:10:20Here's $500,000.
00:10:21You'll never make this much as a hippie peddler
00:10:24selling spices.
00:10:25Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave.
00:10:28Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:10:32I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:10:37Did that not mean anything to you?
00:10:40Didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:10:43Fine, here's another $200,000.
00:10:46$500,000 is too much for her already.
00:10:49She's done nothing.
00:10:51Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:10:54She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:10:56Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:11:01I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:11:05You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us
00:11:09or something, and she wouldn't embarrass
00:11:11us with that permanent stench?
00:11:14A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
00:11:18What a joke.
00:11:19If you actually love my son, you'll
00:11:22sign the damn divorce papers already and leave.
00:11:28You really think that Jared would have gotten that Mabel
00:11:31Plaza bid without me, let alone taking the company public?
00:11:36I did everything for you, Jared.
00:11:39Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:11:46It's all my work.
00:11:50Baby, we're going to be late for the auction
00:11:53if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:11:58You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara,
00:12:01didn't you?
00:12:03So she's the reason for the divorce.
00:12:07She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:12:11Fine.
00:12:13I'll sign it, but don't regret it.
00:12:18Regret?
00:12:20Do you know who I am?
00:12:22Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way
00:12:24into a married man's bed.
00:12:26I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:12:30Jared winning the bid on Mabel Plaza
00:12:33was because of my dad, because he's business
00:12:36partners with Ellen Musk.
00:12:39It's part of the power that I have as an elite.
00:12:43You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:12:47Social stratum matters.
00:12:49Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:12:53And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:12:56And you really think Ellen Musk would come to Atlanta
00:12:59if it weren't for me?
00:13:01Ha!
00:13:02You're delusional.
00:13:04Now sign the papers and scram!
00:13:08Ah!
00:13:10You owe me.
00:13:11You dirty bitch.
00:13:13You sicken me.
00:13:14Ah!
00:13:18You hit me.
00:13:22Now sign the papers, take a check, and get the fuck out!
00:13:37I don't need your pity money.
00:13:41Come on.
00:13:47We're finished.
00:13:49You don't want the money?
00:13:50That's your loss.
00:13:52Your check is just pennies to me.
00:13:55But I would like my ring back.
00:14:07Have fun on your economy flight while I
00:14:10catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here.
00:14:18And I'm way out of your league.
00:14:25Isn't that the Winston blue diamond ring?
00:14:29It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:14:33Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:14:35Something she found at the flea market.
00:14:38You're right.
00:14:39She could never afford anything so expensive.
00:14:42Congrats, Jared boo-boo, on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:14:46Oh, my dad says there's going to be a secret big shot
00:14:50financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:14:54Bigger big shot than Ellen Musk?
00:14:56Yeah.
00:14:57And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:15:02Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:15:04Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:15:22Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia,
00:15:25wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:15:27Vanderbilt?
00:15:28Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies.
00:15:31Basically, our employee.
00:15:32Oh, OK, I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow.
00:15:34It's fine.
00:15:35Well, you're still going to the summit tomorrow?
00:15:36But you and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:15:39That's exactly why I'm going.
00:16:03Angela Lockhart, I finally found you.
00:16:08Who is he?
00:16:10That?
00:16:11That's Devin Sterling.
00:16:12He's number one on Forbes' 30 under 30 list,
00:16:15an early investor of crypto, CEO of Sterling Enterprises.
00:16:19Rumor has it he's worth trillions.
00:16:22And he's your fiance.
00:16:25What?
00:16:26What?
00:16:27My fiance?
00:16:28The one and only.
00:16:31So after running away and leaving
00:16:34me single for three years, have you figured out how you're
00:16:38going to make it up to me yet, babe?
00:16:48That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:16:54What is she doing here?
00:16:57You skank.
00:16:59My son just divorced you yesterday,
00:17:01and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:17:04Divorced?
00:17:06That's right.
00:17:07So I guess this was never meant to be, Mr.
00:17:12Sterling.
00:17:13Devin Sterling.
00:17:16So she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:17:19Guess she's not just a forsaken woman.
00:17:21She's also a stinky penny-lose-a-little-bit
00:17:24and also a stinky penny-less whore.
00:17:29How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:17:32Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:17:36Do you know who I am?
00:17:39They don't know who you are.
00:17:41You hide it well.
00:17:44X-Team, teach these fools a lesson.
00:17:49Teach these fools a lesson.
00:17:54Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta,
00:17:57and then to New York.
00:17:59You forgot to bring the security team.
00:18:07Mind if I, uh, borrow your men?
00:18:09Go ahead.
00:18:13Tell these ill-mannered apes out.
00:18:16Oh, you bitch.
00:18:18I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:18:25A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:18:29No.
00:18:38Guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:18:40You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffett, old money like me.
00:18:46Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:18:49Pleased to meet you all.
00:18:50Your families all started empires
00:18:52after the Industrial Revolution.
00:18:53What an honor.
00:18:54I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:18:57It's worth billions of dollars.
00:18:59Congrats.
00:19:00You'll be next.
00:19:03But we haven't received the contract yet.
00:19:04We deserve it.
00:19:05Hard work.
00:19:06Oh, that's nothing.
00:19:07I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:19:09Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always
00:19:10had a good relationship.
00:19:12So I thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:19:16Thank you, Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:19:17Now we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest
00:19:21of honor.
00:19:21Yes.
00:19:23I heard they're a very important and powerful guest.
00:19:27Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:19:30Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot,
00:19:34we can feast for generations.
00:19:36Mm.
00:19:37Mm.
00:19:38Mm.
00:19:39I'll do my best.
00:19:45Excuse me.
00:19:46A second, gentlemen.
00:19:48What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:19:50How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:19:53Me?
00:19:53A hobo?
00:19:55How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:19:57You sleep your way in?
00:19:59I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:20:01Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:20:05Don't flatter yourself.
00:20:09This is your ex-husband?
00:20:13What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:20:16Who the hell is he?
00:20:16Were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:20:19Who the hell is this?
00:20:20You were cheating on me?
00:20:33Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:20:37That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo
00:20:41to beat us up.
00:20:42They even took Kaylee's tiara.
00:20:46Oh!
00:20:47Oh!
00:20:48Oh!
00:20:56You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:21:01Get your hands off of her!
00:21:07My lady.
00:21:16My queen.
00:21:27It's him!
00:21:30He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker
00:21:33yesterday.
00:21:34Who are these peasants?
00:21:36These seats are reserved for the outcasts.
00:21:40I'm not going to let you in.
00:21:41I'm not going to let you in.
00:21:43I'm not going to let you in.
00:21:44I'm not going to let you in.
00:21:45They are reserved for the Ellen Muskiner special guest.
00:21:48Oh, shut up, old man.
00:21:51You're disturbing the peace.
00:21:55Fuckers.
00:21:56You know who that is?
00:21:57That's Eric Vanderbilt. You have any idea how many
00:22:00generations of wealth he has?
00:22:01His ancestors built the railway and steamship
00:22:04empire of America.
00:22:06The Civil War would not have been won
00:22:07without his family's involvement.
00:22:09Vanderbilt.
00:22:11The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt,
00:22:15who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:22:20That, the Lee Vanderbilt family?
00:22:29Oh, god damn it.
00:22:31A stomachache now?
00:22:36Whatever.
00:22:37Angela can handle herself.
00:22:38She'll be fine.
00:22:41I'll be fine.
00:22:52How dare you call one of us low?
00:22:55I'm Harvey F. M. Buffett, the most important investor
00:22:58in the entire stock market.
00:23:01I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:23:05And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
00:23:09Not with me around.
00:23:10I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire
00:23:13stand with these gentlemen.
00:23:16You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:23:20You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:23:23We've had enough of your games.
00:23:24Security, break their limbs and toss them out.
00:23:28Looks like the old guard's teaming up against you.
00:23:31But don't worry.
00:23:33You got your money here.
00:23:37I can handle myself, thank you.
00:23:39Yes, my queen.
00:23:41You're all despicable.
00:23:44An insult to your family names.
00:23:49Now it's my turn to rule.
00:23:53Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:23:56Cut off all business ties.
00:23:58And if you don't, I will take away all of your family's
00:24:03wealth and power.
00:24:05Ha!
00:24:06I knew it.
00:24:07You're here to fuck with me.
00:24:09You can't fool anyone here.
00:24:11How much money did you spend on that get up?
00:24:12And to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:24:15You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:24:19You have nothing.
00:24:21And you will always be nothing.
00:24:24She's a gold digger.
00:24:26Gold digger?
00:24:28Gigolo.
00:24:29Want to try me for a night?
00:24:32Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:24:34Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep
00:24:35these bandits here any longer.
00:24:37They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:24:40Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:24:42She's only here to try and ruin my bill
00:24:43in the Maple Plaza project.
00:24:45Oh, I'm going to kill that sushi chef.
00:24:47Security.
00:24:53Security.
00:24:55You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:24:58And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:25:01You.
00:25:03Insolent fools.
00:25:05Let me guess.
00:25:07You're that special guest?
00:25:09I don't know.
00:25:11Throw them out.
00:25:12And not without some broken bones, too.
00:25:14Ha, ha, ha.
00:25:15Ha, ha, ha.
00:25:16Ha, ha, ha.
00:25:17Ha, ha, ha.
00:25:18Ha, ha, ha.
00:25:19Ha, ha, ha.
00:25:20Oh, back to that ass.
00:25:26I got this.
00:25:27Oh.
00:25:28Oh.
00:25:29Oh.
00:25:30Oh.
00:25:31Oh.
00:25:31Oh.
00:25:32Oh.
00:25:33Oh.
00:25:34Oh.
00:25:35Oh.
00:25:35Oh.
00:25:36Oh.
00:25:45Hey.
00:25:47Hey.
00:25:54What the hell are you two doing here?
00:25:56I thought I was supposed to guard you.
00:25:57No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is OK.
00:26:01Oh, my god, we're so screwed.
00:26:03Screwed!
00:26:12Angela!
00:26:14Don't hurt her!
00:26:15You bitch.
00:26:16I've always been sick of you.
00:26:17You just threw yourself at me.
00:26:19How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:26:21Boss?
00:26:22Did she say her boss?
00:26:24Miss Musk?
00:26:26That's Ellen Musk?
00:26:27That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:26:30My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:26:33Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:26:36Past the American Revolution?
00:26:38Back to the Renaissance.
00:26:40If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:26:43That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:26:45She's royalty.
00:26:46And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:26:50What the hell did you do?
00:26:52Kneel!
00:26:53To me?
00:26:55Your Majesty!
00:26:57Welcome to the United States.
00:27:00We've always been your loyal subjects.
00:27:03Yes, your highness.
00:27:05Is it a queen or a princess?
00:27:07It doesn't matter.
00:27:09My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:27:12We didn't mean to offend.
00:27:15What are you doing, you idiot?
00:27:17Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness.
00:27:25What rightfully belongs to you.
00:27:46She's a badass herself.
00:27:48You missed out on a good wife.
00:27:50You! You!
00:27:52You! You!
00:27:54You told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:27:56Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
00:27:59No! No! Don't believe their lies.
00:28:01I worked hard for everything.
00:28:03You worked for everything?
00:28:09Hi, honey.
00:28:11So, our 30th anniversary is coming up
00:28:14and I thought that maybe we can do something special this year.
00:28:17I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:28:19I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project
00:28:22and if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:28:32You were nothing before me.
00:28:35All your achievements, all your glory.
00:28:38That's all mine.
00:28:40Including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:28:43I can take all of that away.
00:28:46Just like that.
00:28:48No, you can't take that away from me.
00:28:50So that's why Ellen Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody.
00:28:54Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:28:58Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:29:00It was Queen Victoria's and its worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:29:10No.
00:29:12I gave you back the ring.
00:29:14I divorced a royal heiress.
00:29:16No.
00:29:18No, please.
00:29:20No, please take me back, baby.
00:29:22I still love you.
00:29:26Oh man, looks like they've started the party without us.
00:29:29No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower.
00:29:38God, these two again.
00:29:40Did he say, is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:29:43President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:29:45After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:29:47each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals,
00:29:50the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:29:52Bloody buffoons know your history.
00:29:54Sorry I'm late, babe. I got lost trying to find Atlanta.
00:29:57Then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:30:04And that there is, that is the legendary boy genius, Dr. Wilson.
00:30:09He's Dr. House's protege.
00:30:11Protege?
00:30:12Dr. House.
00:30:13I thought that was just a TV show.
00:30:15Oh no, that's based on a real figure.
00:30:17Yep, that's me.
00:30:18Son of James House.
00:30:20Dr. House, he's practically my uncle.
00:30:22I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old.
00:30:26So he's been off crying himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 14 months.
00:30:32And I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop.
00:30:37Hey Alan, who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:30:41Uh, they're all your fiancés.
00:30:45What?
00:30:46Fiancés?
00:30:49Plural?
00:30:51Fiancés?
00:30:52Plural?
00:30:54Watch it, nerds. I'm her fiancé.
00:30:57No, I'm her fiancé.
00:30:58You can both shut up. I'm her fiancé.
00:31:01It's you.
00:31:02It's me.
00:31:03Who the hell is he?
00:31:04It's you.
00:31:05It's me.
00:31:06Who the hell is he?
00:31:07I'm Spider-Man.
00:31:09How are all three of these men my fiancés?
00:31:14Your father had arranged these engagements years ago, but I didn't tell you because he decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
00:31:21She has three badass fiancés and she marries his dumb ass.
00:31:28Whatever.
00:31:29Since you're all here, help me finish them.
00:31:34At your service.
00:31:36Me too.
00:31:42One down, two more to go.
00:31:44She's become queen.
00:31:45Bishop to G4.
00:31:51Ow! Ow! Ow! What is that?
00:31:54The most German festin' water in the Nile River.
00:31:59The most German festin' water in the Nile River.
00:32:05Rook to A8.
00:32:11Hello?
00:32:15I thought I was king.
00:32:16No, you wish. The king doesn't do anything, so Alan can be my king.
00:32:21Oh, fine.
00:32:24Bankrupt before it's right this second.
00:32:33I... I've been bankrupt! No!
00:32:38Who is he?
00:32:45I've been bankrupt! No!
00:32:48I told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:32:53Well, guess what? Game over.
00:32:55Alright, boys. Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:32:59Oh, that's serious business.
00:33:01I'm right with you.
00:33:03Wait for me. Nobody beats me to the finish line.
00:33:15Angela!
00:33:19You already have three fiancés?
00:33:22You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:33:24I want compensation.
00:33:29You greedy SOB.
00:33:31Who the fuck is that?
00:33:32My ex-husband.
00:33:34Wait. You were married?
00:33:36Yeah. And if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:33:41More for me.
00:33:42No, no. Of course not. Just...
00:33:44Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:33:46Don't steal my joke.
00:33:48I can make him disappear without a trace. All evidence of your past with him is gone.
00:33:53What? Is there something on my face?
00:33:55Uh, yeah. Murderous intent.
00:33:58Let's remarry.
00:34:00Let's remarry.
00:34:02You still don't realize.
00:34:05I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:34:17What?
00:34:35Sir, it's an emergency. We need to wreck right away.
00:34:38Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:34:43Okay, I'm on my way.
00:34:47She should be okay now.
00:34:52Hey, you!
00:34:53Watch over here. I'll be right back.
00:35:04You saved me.
00:35:08Fuck.
00:35:09I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:35:13Fuck.
00:35:14I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:35:16You've cheated on me, you've hit me, and you've insulted me.
00:35:21And after all that, I never want to see you again.
00:35:25I fucking hate you.
00:35:28Lady Lockhart.
00:35:30God, what now?
00:35:32Yes, we understand that you are a very busy person,
00:35:37but if you're not going to give your ex-husband the Maple Plaza project...
00:35:41How about us three?
00:35:42Yes, unlike that scumbag, we won't turn on you.
00:35:46Yeah, no. You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:35:49But...
00:35:51This is your fault, you doofus! We never should have believed your bullshit!
00:35:55No, no.
00:35:57We can't lose our position with Ellen Musk and the Lockharts.
00:36:02I'll get you for this!
00:36:06I never should have listened to you!
00:36:13I'm ruined because of you!
00:36:28So, what's the situation here?
00:36:31I want to marry you!
00:36:37I want to marry you!
00:36:40Listen, I only met you guys a few hours ago,
00:36:44and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:36:47But what if I told you
00:36:50that we've known each other for much longer than just a few hours?
00:36:54Much longer.
00:36:58Angela, your parents would like to have a video call
00:37:02Angela, your parents would like to have a video call
00:37:06with all of you.
00:37:10My lovely princess, how are you?
00:37:13Look, your mother and I are in Italy.
00:37:15The views here are absolutely stunning.
00:37:18Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:37:20I heard you finally divorced that good-for-nothing,
00:37:25blood-sucking, three-letter husband of yours.
00:37:28I can't recall his name, but...
00:37:30Anyway, congratulations!
00:37:32I've selected three prime young men
00:37:35for you to choose from to replace him.
00:37:37Oh, you must pick one of them to marry.
00:37:40Otherwise...
00:37:41Let me do it.
00:37:43You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:37:46Otherwise, we'll kill ourselves.
00:37:50Mom!
00:37:51All right, honey, that's it.
00:37:53Bye! Bye!
00:37:59So, who are you going to choose?
00:38:03Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:38:09Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:38:14That seems greedy.
00:38:21But I can always remove the other two options.
00:38:26Hey!
00:38:27I may be a doctor, but I can take lives, too.
00:38:30I know and have access to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:38:35Well, okay.
00:38:36No murder, please. I was just kidding.
00:38:40You have seven days to win her over.
00:38:43Ooh.
00:38:44It's like The Bachelorette.
00:38:46I know.
00:38:47We'll start with challenge one.
00:38:51Welcome to the show,
00:38:52The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
00:38:55Today, we have our first challenge.
00:39:00What is all of this, Ellen?
00:39:03You'll see.
00:39:12Oh my God! Oh my God! Cockroaches!
00:39:14All women are afraid of cockroaches.
00:39:17And it is every man's job to save their beloved woman from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:39:23What will our three candidates do to prove their undying love for our single woman,
00:39:28but screaming her head off heiress?
00:39:38Looks like one of our contestants has already called it quits.
00:39:41It's up to the final two.
00:39:54Whoa.
00:40:06Crunchy.
00:40:08That is sick, Cole.
00:40:09Hey, when you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield,
00:40:12you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:40:16There are two more left.
00:40:17Want to try one?
00:40:18God, no. No.
00:40:21Oh my God, save me.
00:40:23Save you? You're going to save me.
00:40:28I'm a German folk doctor.
00:40:30These hands can't get germs on them.
00:40:32They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:40:34Surprise!
00:40:49Thank God you're here.
00:40:53Are you alright, honey?
00:40:55Angela!
00:40:59Alright, you won the first challenge, so you're a reward.
00:41:02You get to watch over her for the night.
00:41:05Just don't cross the line, if you know what I mean.
00:41:07I'm not her scumbag husband.
00:41:09You have nothing to worry about.
00:41:16Honestly, even if you guys fuck, it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:41:19At least my girl can get some.
00:41:21I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:41:26The cockroaches!
00:41:27They're gone, they're gone.
00:41:29There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:41:32I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:41:39I need a drink.
00:41:48Whoa, easy! You're on an empty stomach.
00:41:51Oh, what do you care?
00:41:54Are you trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela?
00:41:59You guys were right.
00:42:01I was blind from marrying that asshole.
00:42:04You know, I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:42:10He never even loved me.
00:42:12And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:42:18Do you really think that you would still be number one on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list if I was around?
00:42:23You may not be number one on Forbes list, but you know what you're number one in?
00:42:29What?
00:42:33You're number one here.
00:42:40You know, we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:42:44Lies.
00:42:47You all just want something from me.
00:42:50You all just want something from me.
00:42:57Angela, I know it's hard to trust again.
00:43:02But I assure you, I don't care what family you're from.
00:43:08I'm the richest man in the nation. I don't need your power, your status, your wealth, your connections.
00:43:17I just need you.
00:43:21I'll prove my love to you within six days, I promise.
00:43:35Screw the contest. I just want love.
00:43:40Angela, you're drunk.
00:43:43I'm an adult. Can't I just go get what she wants?
00:43:47Okay.
00:43:52But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:43:56Oh, they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:44:08This is what you want.
00:44:10This is what you want.
00:44:37Nine inch penis.
00:44:38Morning to you too.
00:44:41You sure you weren't drunk last night? You wouldn't...
00:44:44A girl remembers when she's had a nine inch penis inside of her.
00:44:49Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:44:52But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:44:55Because then they would...
00:44:57Say that you were being unfair?
00:44:59Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:45:01I won the first challenge, and according to Ellen, my prize was to spend a night with you anyways.
00:45:08Don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:45:14You sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:45:18Stop.
00:45:21Fine, fine, fine.
00:45:25I won't tell.
00:45:28But only on one condition.
00:45:29But only on one condition.
00:45:32I won't tell.
00:45:35But only on one condition.
00:45:37You have to go out on a date with me.
00:45:41Fine.
00:45:45I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:45:48You never noticed me.
00:45:54You should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:46:00It's only 7am. She's still sleeping.
00:46:03I'm not sleeping alone.
00:46:05Yeah, I'm not letting my fiance be alone with another man for another second.
00:46:10Morning, gentlemen. Or shall I say ruffmen?
00:46:14Oh, don't mind him.
00:46:16What's up, guys?
00:46:18We're ready for the second challenge.
00:46:20No cockroaches this time.
00:46:22Yes, no more terrifying things. That was my bad, Angela.
00:46:25This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:46:27I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:46:29The second challenge is...
00:46:31The second challenge is...
00:46:33A date.
00:46:35Lame. I should have asked for something else.
00:46:37A date? That's it.
00:46:39What's the catch?
00:46:41No catch. Just who Ms. Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:46:44As simple as that.
00:46:46I know what I want to do. Let's start with me first.
00:46:48Okay. Who goes up first? Then...
00:46:50Me. Save the best for last.
00:46:52Ain't that right, Angela?
00:46:54Then it's decided.
00:46:58Please! Don't take my BMW away!
00:47:02Too bad. You pissed off the Lockharts.
00:47:05I have nothing left!
00:47:15It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:47:21It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:47:28It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:47:32General Eisenhower, sir!
00:47:34At ease, Lieutenant!
00:47:36This is my lieutenant. He also manages this boxing gym.
00:47:39Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower!
00:47:41He's so serious. But hang on.
00:47:44Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet!
00:47:47Baby, I decided to take you here on our first date so that I can introduce you to my guns.
00:47:52Guns? Like murder weapons?
00:47:54Yes. Murder weapons.
00:48:16Like my guns, babe?
00:48:18Pretty rock hard.
00:48:20Yeah.
00:48:22Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:48:24Come close!
00:48:26Wait! You're just going to hit him like that? He's not even going to fight back?
00:48:30Fighting back would be treason, ma'am!
00:48:32Treason? You guys are way too serious.
00:48:35Look, you Lockhart bitch! I caught you!
00:48:38If I'm going down, you're all going down with me!
00:48:41Lieutenant! Pistol attack!
00:48:55You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:49:00I will make you pay!
00:49:03You don't need to keep beating him up. We could just take him to the cops.
00:49:07Not when he tries to hurt you!
00:49:15Zoe's a bit violent. Some might call it being protective.
00:49:18Poor anger issues. What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster on an antique table or something?
00:49:25Is he going to be, like, rough?
00:49:28Hey, some girls are into that.
00:49:30I don't know if I am.
00:49:33Well, maybe Shane will be your type.
00:49:38Your date with Shane starts now.
00:49:43Hey.
00:49:45Hey.
00:49:46Cool ride.
00:49:48A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:49:51Impressive.
00:49:55Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:49:58Refreshing.
00:50:00I got cool mint, too.
00:50:02Or do you prefer spearmint?
00:50:05What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:50:08Fruit flavored gum. I can't stand those.
00:50:11So, where are you taking me, Shane?
00:50:13Let me show you.
00:50:17Dr. Wilson!
00:50:20Our VIP of VIPs!
00:50:23Right this way.
00:50:25VIP of VIPs?
00:50:27Just some other guy I saved. I forget who.
00:50:30You saved a lot of people.
00:50:32I do what I can.
00:50:34Oh, my gosh.
00:50:36It's my gold-digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:50:41Sandra Miller, what are you doing here?
00:50:43I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:50:46Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce
00:50:48and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:50:53How low of you.
00:50:55What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:50:57Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:50:59I sell high-fashion jewelry pieces so high-end,
00:51:02you couldn't even afford even a few soldier organs.
00:51:06The auction begins.
00:51:08I'll deal with you later.
00:51:09Here, I'll just be back in a second.
00:51:15Cameron, I have a task for you.
00:51:20Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:51:24Cleopatra's armband,
00:51:26sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller,
00:51:30for five million dollars.
00:51:33Excuse me.
00:51:35I'd like to donate this piece to a charity.
00:51:37Excuse me.
00:51:39I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:51:41It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:44I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:51:47It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:49What are you doing?
00:51:51Just watch.
00:51:57That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:52:00Please, I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:52:03She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:52:05You work at a flea market?
00:52:07Not this again.
00:52:09Cut the bullshit, that wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:52:12Oh yeah? Here, you want it? For free.
00:52:15Ew, I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:52:19Well, that's too bad then, because you are the fraud.
00:52:25What are you talking about?
00:52:27Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:52:29Throw them out!
00:52:31Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine,
00:52:33but we're professionals.
00:52:35Oh yeah?
00:52:37And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:52:40Yeah, mine is the real thing.
00:52:43You two are just upset because you're too poor to afford our luxury items.
00:52:48Oh, is that so?
00:52:50When a so-called expert failed to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:52:53Dear Lord.
00:52:55This is real.
00:52:57It's authentic.
00:52:59It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:53:04Cameron, what have you found?
00:53:07Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me?
00:53:10It's a replica.
00:53:12They had the same one right here at the flea market.
00:53:15So, you are the fraud.
00:53:19You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:53:23And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:53:26One-fifty.
00:53:28Wow, not even five dollars.
00:53:31Sandra.
00:53:33You've been duping us the whole time.
00:53:36Arrest her!
00:53:38No, please! This is my time! Please!
00:53:42What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:53:44Uh, investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan. Bye.
00:53:49Black Callista from the jewelry industry forever.
00:54:00I had a really great time tonight.
00:54:04May I have a kiss?
00:54:21Something wrong?
00:54:23Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:54:26Yep, you never have to worry about stinky breath from me.
00:54:39You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:54:44I don't have any money.
00:54:46How did you pay for this hotel, then?
00:54:49I guess you'll only pay up if you pay me.
00:54:53I guess you'll only pay up if I break your other leg.
00:54:59Stop!
00:55:03Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:55:07Mr. Buffett.
00:55:12This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:15That's right. Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:55:18I knew Angelo was still in love with me.
00:55:21I knew Angelo was still in love with me.
00:55:24Sorry about those injuries from earlier. It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:55:30Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:55:33And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us?
00:55:39Angelo still loves me. She's just throwing a fit. She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:55:43Yeah, do you need any help winning her back? We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:55:48I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago, and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:55:54It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:55:57Sure. I'll put in a good word for you.
00:56:01I just need...
00:56:02Anything. You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:56:05Once I take everything from these idiots, I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:56:17I'm giving the contract to Jared Cooper, just like you asked me to.
00:56:21Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:56:25Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:56:28I don't get it, Ms. Musk.
00:56:30That contract has a preliminary clause. It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:56:35And if he can't, then what?
00:56:37He'll be bankrupt.
00:56:39So as long as he's greedy enough to take it.
00:56:42I'm avenging my best friend. I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:56:54I signed the Maple Plaza project. We should celebrate.
00:56:59You did? You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:57:03That skank Angela is nothing next to you.
00:57:06And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:57:08Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:57:13What?
00:57:15You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:57:18Oh, no, no, no. He's not.
00:57:20Jared, what are you doing? You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:57:25It's my decision, Mom. I'm the head of the house here.
00:57:29I'm telling my dad.
00:57:31Fine. Go right ahead. He has enough problems himself.
00:57:33If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece. But if not, you can scram.
00:57:39Dad, Jared is being mean to me. Teach him a lesson.
00:57:44Kaylee, be a good girl, okay?
00:57:46Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:57:50Don't get on his bad side.
00:57:52We can't afford to piss him off.
00:57:54So do as he says.
00:57:56But Dad...
00:58:04I'm sorry.
00:58:06I'll be your side piece.
00:58:08Very good. I'm happy you've come around.
00:58:11Now let's go celebrate.
00:58:15I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:58:20But that tongue action, though. Tongue is important in more than just one spot.
00:58:25Darling, we aren't in public.
00:58:27It's true.
00:58:29Stomach ache. Again?
00:58:30I have to run to the bathroom.
00:58:32Devin should be here to pick you up soon.
00:58:34Okay.
00:58:36Devin's late.
00:58:38Not a good sign for a date.
00:58:41This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:58:46It's her.
00:58:48And she's alone. With no one to save her.
00:58:52You whore. You seduced my son so he'd get back with you.
00:59:00Let me tell you.
00:59:02I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:59:09Hey, you guys can fight all you want, but you need to take this somewhere else.
00:59:13Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:59:16What? Why do I have to leave? She's the one starting shit.
00:59:19Because I have money and you don't.
00:59:22You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:59:24And my son just signed a 100 billion dollar contract.
00:59:28He still got the contract?
00:59:30Hmm.
00:59:32Must be Ellen's doing.
00:59:34Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:59:38Oh, he's just gonna...
00:59:40Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:59:43Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:59:48You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
00:59:54My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
00:59:57One thousand dollars to take her away.
01:00:00Two thousand dollars to drag her away.
01:00:03Five thousand dollars to beat her away.
01:00:08Oh! Oh! Hey! Hey!
01:00:11Ow! Hey!
01:00:14You okay? Are you hurt?
01:00:20Weakling.
01:00:22You! You! Just a few days ago you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
01:00:27And now you have two more? What a whore.
01:00:30What a whore.
01:00:32Yeah. And Jared wanted to get back with her?
01:00:35What if she has an STD?
01:00:37Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
01:00:41Let's go. We'll expose her to Jared.
01:00:44Hang on.
01:00:46What do you want?
01:00:48I'll scream!
01:00:50I don't hit women. But I never said I don't kill women.
01:00:54But I never said I don't kill women.
01:00:57Oh God. He is a murderer.
01:01:00What if he murders me?
01:01:02Not him. Definitely not him.
01:01:08We're not afraid of you.
01:01:10That's enough. This isn't a war zone.
01:01:12You'll be removed from being a five-star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:01:17I was just messing with him.
01:01:19Was he though?
01:01:21We're not afraid of you.
01:01:22Jared! You have to avenge us.
01:01:25Look at this slut. She's found two more boy toys.
01:01:28She's cheating on you. Don't get back with her.
01:01:30Oh, Mr. Cooper. It's you.
01:01:32I apologize for this scene.
01:01:34I'll toss out the potty crashes immediately so that you can go to your salvation banquet.
01:01:38Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:01:40Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:01:42The potty crashes.
01:01:46You have any idea who that is?
01:01:48That's my wife.
01:01:49You saved that hangover from the real skank over there.
01:01:52That's right. Know your place.
01:01:54Shut up.
01:01:56She's cheating on you.
01:01:58I know your place. You're just a side piece.
01:02:01If I still want you, that is.
01:02:03Eric, have you gone mad?
01:02:05This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:02:07You slap her for this whore?
01:02:09Mom!
01:02:11They really think they're something, huh?
01:02:13Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:02:16She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:02:19I only got the Maple Closet Project because she gave it to me.
01:02:23What?
01:02:25You apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:02:34I'm sorry.
01:02:36No.
01:02:38This can't be.
01:02:40I made you divorce Angela.
01:02:44You divorce...
01:02:47Go home.
01:02:49You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:02:57I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:03:00Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:03:04I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:03:07I didn't come here for you.
01:03:09I'm on a date.
01:03:10On a date?
01:03:12A date with two men at the same time?
01:03:15She really is a whore.
01:03:17Angela, please forgive me.
01:03:19I really do love you.
01:03:22Oh-ho! Lady Knockout is here!
01:03:26Oh-ho! Lady Knockout is here!
01:03:31Yeah, yeah, we already know you beat Ford to effort.
01:03:34We're too old for that.
01:03:36They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:03:38Please, you gave me the contract, so if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:03:44Oh, yes, please, Miss Lockhart, join us.
01:03:46We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:03:50What the hell are you all doing here?
01:03:52Where were you?
01:03:54Still making shoes.
01:03:56Again? Would you like my diagnosis?
01:03:59No.
01:04:01Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:04:03I would rather die than be with you again.
01:04:07Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:04:11I can't lose face in front of these pricks.
01:04:13Otherwise, they'll cut me off, too.
01:04:15Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance.
01:04:18I'll prove it to you.
01:04:20You want a chance?
01:04:22Angela, no.
01:04:24You have three great guys here who all want to marry you.
01:04:26Don't take him back.
01:04:28I'll give you two choices.
01:04:29I'll give you two choices.
01:04:32I'll give you two choices.
01:04:36Me or the contract.
01:04:39You're kidding me.
01:04:41No, I'm not kidding you.
01:04:43If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
01:04:47But you don't get the hundred billion dollar contract.
01:04:51The choice is all yours.
01:04:53That's a tough choice.
01:04:55You think so?
01:04:56You think so?
01:04:58He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:05:01Either way, he benefits.
01:05:03Why can't I have both?
01:05:05You really are a greedy bastard.
01:05:07Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember?
01:05:10I deserve the contract.
01:05:12Did you really?
01:05:17Look who's fashionably late now.
01:05:20He didn't save her at the pool.
01:05:22Wait, what are you talking about?
01:05:24I choose the contract.
01:05:27I knew it.
01:05:29You'll get what's coming to you.
01:05:31With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:05:36Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:05:39I will get you one day.
01:05:41Let me show you something.
01:05:55You saved me.
01:06:01You saved me.
01:06:03I'm sorry if his lies led to you wasting three years of your life.
01:06:09But I promise you, I'm going to make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:06:15No, no, I wasn't lying.
01:06:17I just couldn't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:06:25Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:06:29What? Me? Dr. Wilson? Losing at saving people?
01:06:34No way.
01:06:36You guys, one of you, do something life-threatening right now.
01:06:40You're crazy.
01:06:42And actually, they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:06:47What?
01:06:49Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:06:52Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:06:56Put it simply, they've been stealing from you.
01:07:00I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:07:02Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:07:05I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
01:07:08No, it's not your fault. They're just too slick.
01:07:11You'd like me to punish them if we're lucky.
01:07:13Oh God, no. Not that again. Please.
01:07:16Max, you know what to do.
01:07:19You know what to do.
01:07:33The banks have pulled all of our funds.
01:07:36All business ties have been severed.
01:07:38We're bankrupt!
01:07:44How did you do that?
01:07:46Who are you? And don't say Spider-Man!
01:07:50I'll tell you who I am.
01:07:54I'll tell you who I am.
01:07:58I am...
01:08:00Crypto Punk Number Two!
01:08:02What did he say he was?
01:08:04That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:08:06You're Crypto Punk Number Two?
01:08:09Well, I'm Crypto Punk Number One.
01:08:12See? You are number one at something.
01:08:14The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:08:17Forget Forbes' list.
01:08:19It's all about young money now.
01:08:21So, how about our date?
01:08:29I'm not letting anyone up me on this one.
01:08:31I'll spy too.
01:08:45They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:08:47I still have the 100 billion dollar project.
01:08:51Yes! I'm rich!
01:08:54They'll make them all pay soon!
01:09:02What?
01:09:04Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:09:06The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front.
01:09:09Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:09:14No!
01:09:16I'm bankrupt!
01:09:19I need a little off guard.
01:09:21You tricked me!
01:09:27Oh, allow me.
01:09:31I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:09:33I had to get some very important materials.
01:09:37For our special date.
01:09:39Well, cheers.
01:09:41Cheers.
01:09:45Cheers.
01:09:51This looks good.
01:09:57Did you use my spices?
01:09:59I know your ex-in-laws never appreciated you.
01:10:04You can have all the money and power in the world and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:10:11I couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:10:16Angela,
01:10:19your future with me
01:10:23is going to be different.
01:10:25Come on.
01:10:27Let's dance.
01:10:46Bob,
01:10:48Devin, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on these past few years
01:10:53just because of some silly mistake.
01:10:56Angela,
01:10:58I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:11:01Actually,
01:11:03I've also loved you for three years.
01:11:05That's right.
01:11:07I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:11:09How is all of this possible?
01:11:12I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:11:15Well, actually, maybe Devin, but...
01:11:19I've had a crush on you since college.
01:11:22You were my motivation to go to business school.
01:11:26Despite who you were,
01:11:28you never judged me for being poor.
01:11:32Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:11:37All you do is babble on and on about Internet money, Bitcoin, and shit like that.
01:11:45Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:11:49I'll teach you a lesson.
01:11:52Hey! Get away from me!
01:11:54Angela!
01:11:57Fancy girl. I like her.
01:12:08How is he?
01:12:10It's a rare poison,
01:12:12made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:12:15Astragal saltifum.
01:12:17Can it be cured?
01:12:19I actually think I know that poison.
01:12:21It sounds really scary,
01:12:23but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:12:25Household salt.
01:12:33I like her.
01:12:35I like her.
01:12:38There you go.
01:12:40Time is up.
01:12:43Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:12:52I like her.
01:12:54We have been rivals ever since.
01:12:57So, that's how I...
01:12:59Well, we all met.
01:13:01I barely remember.
01:13:03I should have never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:13:06Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me,
01:13:09attacked you out of revenge.
01:13:11You wouldn't have known.
01:13:13I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:13:15That makes you feel any better.
01:13:17Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:13:19Angela, your seven days is almost up.
01:13:22Now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years,
01:13:26who will you pick?
01:13:32How can that be?
01:13:34Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:13:41Kaylee, we've gone bankrupt.
01:13:45Bankrupt?
01:13:47The Vanderbilt's have gone bankrupt?
01:13:50Well then, get out of here!
01:13:53You can't do this to me!
01:13:57Jared!
01:13:59Mom, it's me.
01:14:02Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:14:05Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:14:07You should get back with your wife.
01:14:09We're bankrupt.
01:14:11What?
01:14:15Jared Cooper.
01:14:18We're here to repose your belongings.
01:14:22No one is going to save you now.
01:14:24What?
01:14:25What?
01:14:29What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:14:35Who will you pick?
01:14:39I...
01:14:45I brought you fried chicken.
01:14:47Fried chicken?
01:14:49Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:14:51Yeah, he's right. I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:14:52Sucking up last minute.
01:14:54At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:14:57Hey, stop. Stop.
01:15:00Welcome back to The Bachelorette.
01:15:03I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:15:06I mean, Angela Lockhart...
01:15:09You know what I mean.
01:15:11Today, our heiress bachelorette will choose
01:15:14which one of our three badasses will she marry.
01:15:18Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:15:20Cole, the general?
01:15:24Or Devin, the CEO?
01:15:30Uh, looks like our bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:15:34Oh, the suspense is killing me.
01:15:37But when she does, she will take this eternal rose
01:15:41made from glass imported from Venice
01:15:43and give it to our winner.
01:15:46Angela,
01:15:47Angela.
01:15:50Angela.
01:15:52Oh, I, uh,
01:15:55I need more time to think.
01:16:01While our bachelorette takes a little time to decide,
01:16:05why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:16:08Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:16:11Let's start with Cole.
01:16:13Cole.
01:16:17There's not much to say.
01:16:19Who wouldn't want a five-star general
01:16:22who has huge biceps,
01:16:24a massive chest,
01:16:26who would protect their wife?
01:16:30Okay, thank you.
01:16:33Uh, Shane?
01:16:36Muscles, money,
01:16:38they only get you so far.
01:16:40But you need a well-balanced man like me
01:16:43that has more than one way to keep a lady happy,
01:16:45if you know what I mean.
01:16:48Okay.
01:16:50I think we do.
01:16:52And Devin.
01:16:54That was quite disgusting.
01:16:58I just hope Angela's okay.
01:17:00I know she's going under a lot of stress right now,
01:17:03a lot of choices to make.
01:17:05And she's my queen.
01:17:07I just really hope she's okay.
01:17:09Now, one more thing.
01:17:11What kind of a doctor
01:17:13brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:17:15That's a good point.
01:17:17It's bad for her heart.
01:17:20And then you!
01:17:22You know what they say about military men.
01:17:25They beef their lives.
01:17:31Enough!
01:17:33Stand up!
01:17:36Hey, you guys.
01:17:38Whoa, break it up!
01:17:40Hey!
01:17:42Break it up!
01:17:46Cut to commercial!
01:17:48Cut to commercial!
01:18:07This is the hardest decision
01:18:09I've ever had to make in my entire life.
01:18:12Who do I choose?
01:18:16Angela's marrying me!
01:18:18You're not stealing her from me.
01:18:20Oh yeah?
01:18:22I may be a doctor,
01:18:24but like I said,
01:18:26I know and possess
01:18:28the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:18:31What don't you have in that coat?
01:18:33Fruit flavored gum.
01:18:35I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:18:37I'll fight you to the death.
01:18:39Don't forget about me.
01:18:41It's time I reveal my true self.
01:18:44It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:18:49These stupid profile cards
01:18:51don't make any sense.
01:18:53They do not help.
01:18:55Who made these?
01:19:13It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:19:18I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:19:21And I have the power of
01:19:24telekinesis!
01:19:40We may have to work together to take him down.
01:19:43No!
01:19:53This battle within our heads
01:19:55is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:19:57I may not be able to take them both down
01:19:59if they decide to team up.
01:20:01Hmm, winter mint?
01:20:03Or cool mint?
01:20:08You know,
01:20:10I've always really liked your jacket.
01:20:11Really?
01:20:13I'm actually
01:20:15pretty self-conscious about it.
01:20:17So I appreciate that.
01:20:20And you know,
01:20:22I've always really liked the way you talk.
01:20:25Really?
01:20:30What do you got for me?
01:20:32I always
01:20:34really like the way you chew gum.
01:20:36It's fresh, right?
01:20:38Yeah?
01:20:40You know, you're actually
01:20:42a really good doctor.
01:20:44You need me to look at you?
01:20:46Hey, me?
01:20:48Angela's been kidnapped!
01:20:50Angela's been kidnapped!
01:20:52It was Jared Cooper!
01:20:54That fucker!
01:20:56We have to find her.
01:20:58Her ring.
01:21:00Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism
01:21:02on her ring just in case.
01:21:04Well, let's go then!
01:21:05I'll take my fiance!
01:21:12Jared.
01:21:16What am I doing here?
01:21:18You destroyed me.
01:21:22You took everything.
01:21:25I have nothing left.
01:21:28It's not my fault you're too greedy.
01:21:31I'm not as greedy
01:21:33to have sex with my wife.
01:21:35I'm not your wife anymore!
01:21:37Oh yeah, I know.
01:21:39You wouldn't take me back now,
01:21:41not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:21:43This is illegal!
01:21:45You wouldn't want your child
01:21:47to be away from its father.
01:21:49You won't have me arrested.
01:21:51You will take me back.
01:21:53Ow!
01:21:55You're my bitch.
01:21:57I'll settle you down a little.
01:21:59Please.
01:22:05You will be begging me
01:22:07to fuck you soon.
01:22:10Hey!
01:22:12Angela, come back!
01:22:17You're too late!
01:22:19I drugged her.
01:22:21She'll be dead soon unless...
01:22:23Not yet?
01:22:25Have you forgotten who I am?
01:22:26Yeah, except for fruit.
01:22:28Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:22:30We get it already.
01:22:32Just save my boss!
01:22:34Here you go.
01:22:38You're all good now.
01:22:40Oh, thank God.
01:22:42But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:22:44What?
01:22:46What are you gonna do to me?
01:22:48Hey, stop! No!
01:22:50Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:22:53Oh!
01:22:55No!
01:22:57Glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:22:59Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:23:07So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:23:10We've invited the most important figures of the world
01:23:12to your wedding.
01:23:14The Prince of Bhutan.
01:23:16And remember, we will kill ourselves
01:23:18if you don't choose.
01:23:23Welcome back to the finale of
01:23:26The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:23:28We're down to the wire.
01:23:30Literally. The wedding day.
01:23:32But who's the groom?
01:23:45Welcome back to the finale of
01:23:48The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:23:50But who's the groom?
01:23:53Uh, seems our heiress still hasn't decided.
01:23:58Any input from the parents?
01:24:00Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:24:03Oh, this is exciting.
01:24:05Who should my daughter pick?
01:24:08Let me think.
01:24:12I like the doctor.
01:24:14He's cute.
01:24:17But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:24:20And we can't forget about Devin Sterling,
01:24:22the one who's loved her the longest.
01:24:24Isn't that right, Devin?
01:24:26Angela.
01:24:33You are all three very fine gentlemen.
01:24:38And I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:24:42But this was a really hard decision,
01:24:46and I decided to divide you.
01:24:50To devise one last challenge.
01:24:53And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:25:01I'm just kidding. I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:25:08Each of our candidates have saved our main character.
01:25:12I mean, bachelorette, once.
01:25:14They've all proven their undying love.
01:25:16So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:25:20Literally.
01:25:22Could it be the sexy and protective,
01:25:26general with a temper,
01:25:28Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:25:33Or the fun, wicked-minded,
01:25:37but kind of weird,
01:25:39Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:25:43And last but not least,
01:25:44could it be the richest man of them all,
01:25:48the man Angela would have married a long time ago,
01:25:51Mr. Devin Sterling?
01:25:55Gentlemen,
01:25:57it's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:25:59It has.
01:26:01May the best man win.
01:26:03May the best man win.
01:26:05Drum roll, please.
01:26:15Never gonna let you down.
01:26:17Never gonna run around and desert you.
01:26:21Seriously, Ricky?
01:26:29I choose...
01:26:40I need a powerful, strong man
01:26:41who I really feel like he can protect me.
01:26:46Who could resist those guys?
01:26:50Could I interest you in an N.F.D., Ellen?
01:26:53You like full-body checkups?
01:27:07Shane, it's you.
01:27:09I'm... I'm lovesick for you.
01:27:11You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:27:16It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:27:19Ellen, be my new queen.
01:27:21I hope we can build together.
01:27:35It's always been you.
01:27:42I'll always love you.
01:27:46Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:27:49Thanks for marrying me, Ellen.
01:27:51Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:27:53Have you seen my murdering weapons?
01:27:55I eat fruit-flavored gum for you.
01:28:12I love you.
01:28:34I, Celine Lovett,
01:28:36accept my role as Nightwind's pack Luna
01:28:38Luna and your wife. I, Alexander Cain, fucking love you.
01:29:01Wow, two alphas together.