Barbara vs Louanne (SM w/director's track), 3/79
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FunTranscript
00:00Production number 1416, and it's take one.
00:09Yeah, I'm ready.
00:10Stand by.
00:14And five, four, three, two, one.
00:17Music John, push in.
00:19And turn it.
00:22And put in two.
00:24And put in one.
00:27And put in two.
00:29And put in one.
00:32And put in two.
00:34And put in five.
00:36And stop it.
00:37Light it.
00:38Push in.
00:39Pull out.
00:40Fly it.
00:41Lights.
00:42Turn the turntable.
00:43John.
00:44Make a picture.
00:45Make a picture.
00:46Open the door.
00:47Take three.
00:48Take one.
00:49Bad pictures.
00:50Take five.
00:51Take four.
00:52Take two.
00:53Hold on.
00:54What was wrong with five?
00:57Take three.
01:03Take two.
01:04Tighten on in.
01:18It's game 79.
01:19Production number 1416, and it's take one.
01:22Yeah, I'm ready.
01:23Stand by.
01:24And five, four, three, two, one.
01:25Music John.
01:26Get ready to match the stars.
01:27From Charlie's Angels, David Doyle.
01:28Brett Somers.
01:29Charles Nelson Reilly.
01:30From MASH, Loretta Switz.
01:31Stoey Mitchell.
01:32And the winner of this game is...
01:33John.
01:34John.
01:35John.
01:36John.
01:37John.
01:38John.
01:39John.
01:40John.
01:41John.
01:42John.
01:43John.
01:44John.
01:45John.
01:46John.
01:47John.
01:48John.
01:49John.
01:50John.
01:51John.
01:52John.
01:53John.
01:54John.
01:55John.
01:56John.
01:57John.
01:58John.
01:59John.
02:00John.
02:01John.
02:02John.
02:03John.
02:04John.
02:05John.
02:06John.
02:07John.
02:08John.
02:09John.
02:10John.
02:11John.
02:12John.
02:13John.
02:14John.
02:15Okay.
02:16Now, would you join me in greeting our stars?
02:17Hello, stars.
02:18Hello, dear.
02:19Hello, dear.
02:20No answer.
02:21I guess there are no stars on the stage.
02:22No.
02:23Toscanini said the stars are in heaven.
02:26And on Earth, we are only artists, good and bad.
02:29Now, if you can get...
02:30I thought we were music, too.
02:34If you can get this show started after that dull remark, let me know.
02:37No.
02:38I'll be here.
02:39I think it was touching and beautiful.
02:40Ha!
02:41Only stars in heaven.
02:42Isn't that wonderful?
02:44I think I'll go off and take a nap for a while in the seat.
02:48I've got to have a nap.
02:49Would you greet our two players here, Barbara Fain and Luann Odenito?
02:53Yeah.
02:54Our current champion, Barbara, here with $350.
03:00And now, she's being challenged by Luann Odenito, who had her first...
03:05Odenito, who had her first round question and did not match any of our stars.
03:09And we'll see how Barbara does right now with her first round question,
03:13which reads as follows.
03:15Bob likes to date really young girls.
03:20So, instead of flowers, he usually takes along blank as a gift.
03:25Blank.
03:26Blank.
03:27Blank.
03:28Blank.
03:29Blank.
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04:00Blank.
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04:05Blank.
04:06Blank.
04:07Blank.
04:08Blank.
04:09Blank.
04:10A rattle.
04:12A rattle.
04:14Oh.
04:16That's young, isn't it?
04:18Hey.
04:20Talk about robbing the cradle.
04:22Okay, David, she said a rattle.
04:24We were right along.
04:26We were in the same groove there.
04:27Now, this could pass
04:29because it sometimes does have a noise-making thing on it.
04:31It's a teething ring.
04:33A teething ring.
04:34That is really young.
04:36Okay.
04:37Well...
04:38Yes.
04:40Well, he's gonna laugh, giggle and be wrong
04:42through another week.
04:43Oh.
04:46That's why we keep asking him back.
04:48He's like, I don't know what to do.
04:50I just... I was just sitting here and writing it down.
04:52He's like, I don't know what to do.
04:54I'm just gonna laugh while he talks.
04:56I don't know what to do.
04:58A box of lollipops.
05:00He's got the perp down.
05:01Yeah. Perp down.
05:04It's gonna be a long night, this thing.
05:07Oh, disposable diapers.
05:09Disposable diapers.
05:11It's a wonderful answer.
05:14Well, Barbara, we haven't had any rattles so far.
05:16Let's see what we got one from Loretta.
05:18I was thinking along the lines of Brett.
05:21Candy bars.
05:22Candy bars.
05:24Yes, it's reminiscent of Artie Johnson.
05:27Yeah.
05:30Remember, he used to go approach the little girls,
05:33ask them if they wanted a...
05:35Would you like a little walnut, oh, little girl there?
05:39Would you?
05:40Bob, would you?
05:43Oh, yes, of course.
05:44Thank you very much.
05:45Naturally.
05:47This guy likes to date young girls,
05:48so instead of flowers, he takes along blank as a gift.
05:50I was thinking along the lines of Charles Nelson Reilly.
05:54It's gonna be a long night.
05:55A pacifier.
05:56A pacifier.
05:59A pacifier.
06:01Hey, uh, oh, uh, uh,
06:03oh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
06:06Okay, yes, indeed it is.
06:07Now we come to Miss Fannie, honey.
06:09Yes, I said a Barbie doll.
06:11A Barbie doll.
06:15Candy.
06:16So, there we are at the end of Round 1,
06:17and neither of our players here has scored,
06:20but we'll see what happens in Round 2 after this.
06:22For you.
06:30Here we go. Bing.
06:32Round 2. Luanne, final round.
06:34You may have A or B.
06:35B, please.
06:36B it is for you.
06:38B says, at the buffet restaurant,
06:40the manager said to Marvin,
06:43when we said you could have anything you want for $5.95,
06:46we didn't mean you could have the blank.
06:48Oh, my gosh.
06:52We said you could have anything you want for $5.95.
06:54We didn't mean you could have the blank.
06:57Oh, where is this man?
06:58It's a buffet restaurant.
06:59Oh.
07:01At the buffet restaurant, the manager said to Marvin...
07:05Yes.
07:07...who apparently went in there to have some buffet.
07:10Yes.
07:12There he goes again.
07:15Love it. Just love it.
07:18Loves his aunt. He's gonna be wrong.
07:20He's gonna be great.
07:22Okay, Luanne.
07:23At the buffet restaurant, the manager said to Marvin,
07:26when we said you could have anything you want for $5.95,
07:29we didn't mean you could have the blank.
07:31The table?
07:33Oh.
07:38Oh.
07:40You do have bus fare home.
07:43Okay, Luanne.
07:46Back in the bus.
07:48Back going.
07:50Not the back of the bus. Back in the bus.
07:52He didn't mean the back of the bus.
07:53He said, back in the bus.
07:54Oh, good luck.
07:56Oh, good luck.
07:58Whoo!
07:59Okay.
08:02Now we're ready to see yours.
08:04Oh, you got to be careful.
08:05I said the hostess.
08:09Very good.
08:10That's great.
08:12Now you got the idea, right, Luanne?
08:14Alright.
08:15Did you like that answer, honey?
08:16I went pretty good.
08:18I thought it was an excellent one.
08:19That was not a loser.
08:20No, it's not a loser. I said the owner's daughter.
08:22Well.
08:23Whoo!
08:24What did she say, Chuck?
08:25Chuck said, don't you walk over here anymore?
08:28I suppose you'll be phoning in from the cake next season.
08:36Blanche the waitress.
08:37What?
08:38Blanche the waitress.
08:39Blanche the waitress.
08:40Very good answer.
08:42But it wasn't worth walking over for.
08:44Oh, yes.
08:45No, I'd walk over for Blanche the waitress.
08:47He'd walk over for anything on two legs.
08:50No.
08:51That's right.
08:52Blanche the waitress.
08:54Thank you. You know me, don't you?
08:55Alright. There you go.
08:59What do you got there?
09:00Isn't this the second round?
09:01This is the second and final round.
09:03Why don't we just go to the tiebreaker?
09:05No.
09:07Barbara has to have a shot at it first.
09:10The cash register.
09:12Cash register.
09:14Kind of imagining the answers here,
09:16but so far, no match there.
09:18Yes, sir.
09:19She walked over and said, can I help you?
09:21And he said, uh-huh.
09:22Waitress.
09:23Uh-huh.
09:26So, now, Barbara, again, you're in the cat bird seat.
09:28All you need to do is match one to win your second game.
09:32The Hollywood agent said,
09:35I've got the world's most talented canary.
09:38Not only does he sing, he blanks.
09:43World's most talented canary.
09:46Not only does he sing, he blanks.
09:49There's a good reason.
09:50I'm gonna put it back.
09:51I know it's obvious.
09:51I'm thinking of what it was Fred Allen said about agents.
09:54He said that if, about an agent's heart,
09:57it was as big as a gnat.
09:59Yes.
10:00And you'd still have some left over.
10:03Can't remember, but it's true, of course.
10:04You know what Toscanini once said to a very,
10:08a very heavily endowed soprano like this?
10:11No, no, Mr. Ryan, tell us what Toscanini said.
10:15You wonder why he doesn't walk over.
10:17He just looked at her and said,
10:20I'd be right if those were only brains.
10:22Oh, my God.
10:25See, some Toscanini stories do work.
10:30Okay, Barbara.
10:31The Hollywood agent said,
10:32I've got the world's most talented canary.
10:34Not only does he sing, he blanks.
10:36He dances.
10:37What else?
10:40Song and dance canary.
10:43All we need is one song and dance canary
10:45and Barbara will have won her second game.
10:47Uh, tap dancing.
10:50Okay, what'd the rest of you have?
10:51Hold them up.
10:53So, hold it for me, ladies and gentlemen.
10:56You have a tap dancer, sings, dances.
11:00All right, you've got a blue mark there.
11:03Gonna have to bid this pretty lady adieu.
11:05It was a pleasure to meet you, Luanne,
11:07and we'll send some gifts your way for match game 79.
11:10Luanne Odonino, ladies and gentlemen.
11:12Here you go again.
11:17You know how this goes, I'll touch over it lightly here.
11:19We polled the studio audience not too long ago, Barbara,
11:22and said, write down your best answer to this.
11:24I'm in blank.
11:25Remember, if you match the answer
11:26they wrote down most often,
11:27you get $500.
11:29For matching their second most popular answer, $250.
11:32And then for matching the third, $100.
11:35Three of the six stars will give you some assistance.
11:38Loretta?
11:39Um, I'm in the money.
11:42I'm in the money.
11:43Yes, great old song.
11:46Charles?
11:47I'm in the mood for love.
11:49It's in the mood for love.
11:51Brett?
11:53Where I am when I'm not near Charles.
11:56Heaven. I'm in heaven.
11:58I'm in heaven.
12:00Scott, is it gonna be up there?
12:03I thought she was gonna say, I'm in heat.
12:04I'm in heat.
12:13So, there you have, I'm in heaven.
12:16I'm in the mood for love, and I'm in the money.
12:18You want one of those?
12:20Well, I should pick money,
12:21but I feel good with in the mood for love.
12:24You feel good in the mood for love.
12:26It's Charles' answer.
12:28Simply because I'm near you.
12:30Alright, let's find out if it's up there.
12:32I'm in the mood for love, Charles' answer.
12:34May we see the $100 number?
12:36I'm in the money.
12:37I'm in the money.
12:38Okay, Loretta's answer.
12:40Now, let's see the $250 number.
12:43I'm in the mood.
12:44There it is.
12:46Well, that surprised me.
12:47I thought that might be up there a little higher.
12:48What do you think is on top, audience?
12:49Heaven.
12:51Heaven.
12:52Trouble.
12:53Okay, slide it over.
12:55Oh, I'm in love, period.
12:58Ha-ha, just like Nick did.
13:01Okay, we'll play the rest of the game in a moment or so,
13:04but right now, we want to pause
13:05and do a little business with the manager, Barbara.
13:07Okay, let's play.
13:17Now, here we go.
13:33If you'd like to come to the studio out here in Hollywood
13:35and see Match Game 79 in person, write to us
13:38and close the self-addressed hand temple,
13:39open mail to Tickets, Match Game 79,
13:43CBS Television, CBS, and the New York Times.
13:46CBS Television City, 7800 Beverly Boulevard,
13:49Los Angeles, California, 90036.
13:52Okay, Barbara, you won $250,
14:07means the least you'll play for is 10 times that amount,
14:09or $2,500.
14:11Unless you have a lucky spin of the star wheel here,
14:13you will double your money if you get a lucky spin
14:15and play for $5,000.
14:17Good luck and have a go at it.
14:20Alright, let's see if she gets a double.
14:21Come on, a little bit more.
14:23You got a double.
14:24Now, stop in this gold star area.
14:27Oh, I think you got it.
14:32Oh, not quite.
14:35That's called a near miss.
14:36Alright, Barbara, good luck to you playing.
14:38Courage, darling, courage.
14:41David Doyle is all ready.
14:43And if you are, here it is.
14:45All ready to fail.
14:46Oh, stop it.
14:48Cool it.
14:50I'll see you blank.
14:53I'll see you blank.
15:04Okay, David's finished.
15:05Now, Barbara, if you give us the answer
15:06that he's written on the card,
15:08we give you $2,500.
15:11I'll see you...
15:12In September.
15:15Now, may I ask what that means, please?
15:18I'll see you in September.
15:20That's an old song.
15:21Oh, it is.
15:22What is it? How's it go?
15:23Could you sing a little of it for me?
15:25Oh, I can't do it for you, huh?
15:27Really? Does anybody know that song?
15:28I'll see you...
15:29Yes!
15:32One person sing it.
15:33Stand up and sing that song.
15:35You. You know it, sir?
15:36You in the first row.
15:39The guy with the leather jacket.
15:40You started to stand up.
15:41Do you know it?
15:42Oh, rats.
15:45Well, do you know it?
15:46The lady back there, would you stand up?
15:49I'll see you in September.
15:51Never mind. Never mind.
16:01Give her a little something for her kind efforts, John,
16:04will you? Thank you very much there.
16:06Well, David, she says, I'll see you in September.
16:08We'll match it for $2,500.
16:10I'm sorry, darling. I went to a song.
16:11I'll see you in September.
16:13I'll see you in my dreams.
16:15That's it. Yes.
16:18I'll see you in my dreams.
16:19Very popular song there.
16:21Okay, Barbara, you're up to $700.
16:23You're going to meet another player now,
16:24so let's welcome Denise Gallardo.
16:26Hello, Denise.
16:28Hello, Denise.
16:29Hello, Denise.
16:31Hello, Denise.
16:33Hello, Denise.
16:35You're welcome.
16:37Nice to have you with us.
16:38We'd like to find out a little bit about you
16:39before we begin.
16:41You want to tell us where you're from
16:42and what you do with your life and all that?
16:44I'm a California girl.
16:45I graduated from Stanford University
16:47a little over a year ago with a degree in design,
16:50which I've temporarily shelved,
16:51and now I'm doing the showbiz route.
16:53I'm a dancer, and I'm studying acting,
16:55and I'm working right now at the Playboy Club in L.A.
16:58Uh-huh.
17:03What was your major in school? I didn't understand it.
17:04Design.
17:05Oh, a design major, like costume design?
17:07Graphic design.
17:08Graphic design. That's an interesting field.
17:09Oh, my favorite kind of design.
17:10Yes, of course.
17:13Well, it's nice to meet a graphic designer
17:15aspiring actress.
17:16Good luck to you.
17:17Here we go. You can have A or B.
17:18I'll take A.
17:19You want A? All right.
17:21A it is for Denise.
17:22One Washington, D.C. tourist said to another,
17:27President Carter is getting strange.
17:30Take a look.
17:33There's blank growing on the White House lawn.
17:35Blank growing on the White House lawn.
17:37Two good wonderplants is here.
17:48Uh-oh. What's it say there?
17:50Say it where?
17:51In Variety.
17:52Pop singles.
17:53Oh, really?
17:55Out of 1,732 songs,
17:591,731 plays in Variety.
18:021,731 plays is I'll See You in September.
18:06Oh, I see.
18:08I suppose you want to know what's in 1,732 plays?
18:10Yeah, what?
18:12I'll See You in August,
18:13which they say is even a worse song.
18:17Where's our ad in there?
18:18All right, now, this is last week, isn't it?
18:21A year ago.
18:24No wonder.
18:29Did you write an answer, Charles?
18:32Did you write an answer?
18:33I did write a variety that I've got to write to?
18:37Yes.
18:38Oh, what does it say?
18:39Oh, my goodness.
18:41I was so intent on landing my joke.
18:45You know what, Toscanini wasn't tall at all.
18:48No, he wasn't.
18:49He was about right up to here, Toscanini, yes.
18:52I'll tell you a... Well, I'll tell you.
18:54No, later.
18:55One Washington, D.C. tourist said to another,
18:56President Carter is getting...
18:57Oh, I got that one.
18:58Why don't you tell me it was that one?
18:59I got that one.
19:00I can't.
19:01Open your mouth.
19:04He's hot today, isn't he?
19:05Yeah.
19:07Yeah, are you ready for this?
19:09Ready.
19:10Okay, as President Carter is getting strange,
19:11take a look, there's blank growing on the White House lawn.
19:14Peanuts.
19:15Wow.
19:16Peanuts.
19:17Oh, peanuts.
19:18Okay.
19:20If you aspire to the theater, my dear,
19:22you must learn to project a little more
19:24and enunciate a little more clearly so I can hear you.
19:27Remember, I'm a middle-aged man, aging and deafening, yes.
19:31And other things.
19:32That's right, that's right.
19:33What?
19:34My answer is peanuts.
19:36Peanuts.
19:39Okay.
19:41I didn't know Scully was going to sit down there.
19:43I thought he was going to sit up here.
19:45I miss you, too.
19:46I miss you, too, sweetheart.
19:47It's there are peanuts.
19:50Okay.
19:52Our writers only went for the peanuts.
19:54Why don't you two do Othello in the park?
19:57Peanuts.
19:58Peanuts.
20:03Desdemona, eh?
20:06Look, as President Carter is getting strange,
20:08take a look, there's blank growing on the White House lawn.
20:10Peanuts.
20:11Oh.
20:12Boy, they sure can play Denise.
20:15What do you got?
20:16If Brett and I did Othello, she would be Desdemama.
20:18Desdemama?
20:21Not Desdemona?
20:22Okay, show.
20:23I said grass.
20:25Grass.
20:30Yes, sir, that'll be the day, won't it?
20:34Yeah, that'd be nice if we balanced the budget.
20:36Okay, Patty.
20:45Yes, I said turnip greens.
20:47Oh, I didn't mean to do that.
20:53Yeah, because you see, in soul food,
20:57they have turnip greens and...
20:59Ask O.E., he'll tell you.
21:00Yeah, look who's telling us about soul food.
21:04The hell do you know about soul food?
21:05Haven't you ever been down to the West Boondocks restaurant
21:07on 10th Street in New York?
21:09Yeah.
21:10The first soul food restaurant I ever been.
21:11It was a wonderful place.
21:12Oh, I wanna do a little commercial here.
21:13Denise has four.
21:15You got one more chance to have a go at it.
21:17We'll be back right here after this.
21:38Today's consolation prizes are first,
21:41the Wherever Chicken Bucket Low Pressure Fryer
21:43makes chicken crispy and juicy like takeout in Minnesota
21:45and second, the Kinney Shoes.
21:47And from Kinney Shoes, the great American shoe store,
21:49an up-to-the-minute selection of fashion footwear,
21:52Kinney Shoes not only fit your feet, they fit your life.
21:54And the Veracat Alert Warning Radio
21:56turns on automatically when the National Weather Service
21:58broadcasts tornado floods, severe weather warnings,
22:00don't stay home without it.
22:02And a warming tray and a supply of pre-mets.
22:04The macaroni and spaghetti in the famous green box
22:07cooks up firm yet tender in just minutes
22:09the way everybody likes it.
22:11Ho, ho, ho, on with the show and our star, Gene Rivers.
22:18All right, Barbara, you need four to tie and five to win.
22:21Tim said,
22:22it's tough having an interior decorator for a mother.
22:26When I was born, she wanted to return me
22:29because it didn't match the blank.
22:34It's tough having an interior decorator for a brother.
22:36Oh, round one, I beg your pardon.
22:37Yeah.
22:38It's tough having an interior decorator for a mother.
22:40When I was born, she wanted to return me
22:43because I didn't match the blank.
22:45I got it on.
22:46The blank.
22:51Zip off.
22:52Okay.
22:56Well, why are you worried now?
22:58All of a sudden concerned with being matching up.
23:01Yeah, it was good, sweet. I'll make it a little bigger.
23:02Okay.
23:09There now.
23:10Now, now they can read it.
23:12All right.
23:13Barbara, Tim said,
23:14it's tough having an interior decorator for a mother.
23:16When I was born, she wanted to return me
23:18because I didn't match the blank.
23:20The decor of the room.
23:22The decor of the room.
23:23You're touching all bases there, huh?
23:26Okay, she said the decor of the room.
23:29Yes, the decor would be understood
23:31in this answer, I would imagine.
23:33Bing, it does indeed.
23:35Oh.
23:36The room.
23:38One for her, you?
23:40One what?
23:41She matched one.
23:42Oh, that's right, exactly.
23:45Of course, room.
23:46That's two for her.
23:48They put this in there.
23:50You know when you have that little picture taken
23:52when you're, little clothes on?
23:55Yes.
23:56The rug, didn't match the rug.
23:57Uh-huh.
23:58Toscanini had no rugs in his home at all.
24:01No.
24:02That would be a fur rug.
24:04Babies are usually posed naked on fur rugs.
24:07Remember?
24:08No.
24:09I have a picture of you.
24:10Oh.
24:11Naked on a fur rug.
24:14From last week.
24:15Oh.
24:19I didn't want to say, Scully.
24:21And you promised you wouldn't.
24:23Yes.
24:24Is it okay if I name the room?
24:25Sure.
24:27The nursery.
24:28The nursery.
24:29Bing.
24:30Oh, yes.
24:31Okay.
24:35Here we go.
24:36I said the operating room wall.
24:39The operating room wall.
24:40Well, see, most operating rooms are white.
24:43Yes.
24:50Very good.
24:51Excellent joke.
24:53The Toscanini joke.
24:54Hang in there, Scully.
24:56Now we come to Fannie.
24:59Here it is.
25:00When I was born, she wanted to return me
25:01because it didn't match the...
25:04The man she was married to at the time.
25:09I got it.
25:11So, now, at the end of Round 1,
25:13it's 4-3 in favor of Denise,
25:15and Round 2 will follow after.
25:39Okay, here we go.
25:40Join us next time for Match Game 79.
25:42Gene Ray Bernier, thank you all.
25:43Good-bye.
25:44-♪
25:55This is Johnny Olsen speaking for Match Game 79.
25:59A Mark Goodson, Bill Todman production.
26:02This program has been edited for broadcasting.