Honest Trailers _ Deadpool _ Wolverine
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Deadpool 1 was a hard-R rom-com anyone could enjoy.
00:14Deadpool 2 was a love letter to action comedy fans.
00:18Now in Deadpool's next adventure, they're only speaking to nerds who fight in the comments
00:23of r slash movies.
00:25I don't like you.
00:26You never did.
00:27Yeah, see, that's funny because behind the scenes of Blade Trinity, Wesley Snipes had
00:29issues with co-stars Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel, a story notably relayed by Patton Oswalt
00:33in his appearance on Pete Holmes.
00:35I'm sorry, what's that now?
00:36Oh, okay.
00:37I'll shut up.
00:38I'm sorry.
00:39Deadpool and Wolverine.
00:42Now that Ryan Reynolds has smartly diversified from acting and Jon Favreau is running creative
00:50at Disney.
00:51Aim for the middle and you'll never miss.
00:53Prepare for another forced march down memory lane.
00:56It's not as bad as The Flash.
00:58It's not as good as No Way Home.
01:00But it's got more embarrassing celebrity cameos than a party at Diddy's house.
01:05From the legendary to the Odyssey.
01:08This isn't a car.
01:09This is a Honda f***ing Odyssey.
01:11The heroes to the Honda.
01:13I take it all back.
01:14The Honda Odyssey f***s hard.
01:17The small roles.
01:18Toad!
01:19You're up.
01:20To the minivans with top scores from J.D. Power and Associates.
01:23So how does the Kia compare to the Honda Odyssey?
01:26I love generating value for shareholders.
01:28I mean commercials.
01:29I mean movies.
01:30I love movies.
01:32Right?
01:33Even though he lives next to Bluey these days, Deadpool is still just how you remembered.
01:39This is Baby Knife.
01:40She's gonna f*** you in the face now.
01:41Yes, he knows he's in a movie.
01:43Suck it, Fox.
01:45I'm going to Disneyland.
01:47Get f***ed.
01:48He knows he's Ryan Reynolds.
01:49I don't want to spend the rest of my life like an annoying one-trick pony.
01:53And he knows that if he doesn't make a joke every six seconds, people will start to think
01:57about the plot.
01:58And you do not want to do that.
02:00The multiverse does not need a babysitter.
02:03We need a mercy killer.
02:05Because this time, uh, the TVA, uh, they are, uh, sorry.
02:11Phase 5 taught my brain to go soft focus anytime someone says multiverse.
02:14No one comes back from the void.
02:16Tell that to Cassandra Nolva.
02:18If you squint, you can pretend Tom is talking to a different Logan.
02:21Yeah, okay, sure.
02:23Regardless, if the Logan from Logan dies, the universe fades away, like Steve Carell
02:28leaving The Office.
02:30So Deadpool has to replace Logan, even though he's still alive since that film takes place
02:34in the future?
02:35It's 2029.
02:37This has to be the most convoluted setup for a film about two guys making dick jokes in
02:40a van.
02:41Couldn't they just drive Charles to Taco Bell together?
02:43The new quesalupa from Taco Bell.
02:46Get it with chicken, get it with steak.
02:50Hugh Jackman has returned as Wolverine because divorce is expensive.
02:55I have a feeling your work is only just getting started.
02:57Till you're 90.
02:59He'll finally put on the costume.
03:02But since this is Disney we're talking about, every old hero has to establish what a sad
03:06sec piece of shit they'd become first.
03:08You might not know it, but apparently I'm the worst, Logan.
03:11Thrill as Hugh Jackman gives a fully committed, intense, Oscar-worthy performance.
03:16I walked away.
03:19They called after me and I walked away.
03:22Which like, thank you, but was that necessary?
03:25This didn't tip you off?
03:27Should I also be crying in a scene as tiny me?
03:30Does it matter?
03:31Get back in the Honda Odyssey, righto.
03:34Watch these immortal warriors clash in a string of brutal, vicious, completely anticlimactic
03:42fights that are pointless even by the standards of a genre where no one stays dead for three
03:49consecutive projects.
03:52And were only truly punishing on Marvel's overworked VFX teams.
03:56But this movie knows fans have been desperate to see these exact fights their entire lives.
04:01Source, themselves.
04:02Oh, this is gonna be good.
04:06Get your structural sock out, nerds.
04:08It's gonna get good.
04:09Let's give the people what they came for.
04:11People have waited decades for this fight.
04:13I mean, look, he's not wrong, but you don't have to call us little piggies while you feed
04:16us the slop.
04:17Let this little piggy keep some dignity.
04:19You know how long I've been waiting for this?
04:22Channing Tatum's Gambit?
04:23I'm about to make a name for myself here.
04:29Together, DP and W will be banished to the void, a big field outside of time and space
04:35where comic book fights are easier to shoot.
04:38Then there's plot justification for more surprising cameos.
04:41As in, I'm surprised I remember any of these people at all.
04:45There lives Cassandra Nova, Charles Xavier's secret evil twin.
04:53She may share Chuck's accent and hairline, but not his distaste for using Omega-level
04:58powers to ruin your day.
05:00Unless they're critical to the plot, in which case, a light fingering will do.
05:06She's generic, forgettable, and her plan makes no sense.
05:10Wow, Deadpool really has joined the MCU, huh?
05:14So strap in for a cinematic version of one of those Who's Who in the Marvel Universe
05:18books that sidelines the entire Deadpool ensemble not named Peter, goes light on the central
05:30love story that grounds the franchise, and would delight exactly
05:36one generation of moviegoers for months to come.
05:40Because once this era is over, there's going to be a lot of awkward silence where the pause
05:44for cheering moments go.
05:59Ah, maybe Disney would just buy up whatever the next generation cares about.
06:28Like Minecraft, Five Nights at Freddy's, or Skibbity Toilet.
06:31Ugh, it's so much worse than I thought.
06:35Starring
06:36The Merc Store Called, and They're Running Out of You
06:39The Greatest Logan Princess Di
06:43Time and Prejudice The Van That's Not in This Movie
06:48The Adventures of Pete and Skeet Not Another Teen Wolfie
06:52Jenny from the Flop Day Player
06:56Close-Up Magic Mike
07:00He Cooked
07:01Spade Wilson
07:03Sim Pool
07:04Tim Pool
07:06She Has Some Notes Pool
07:07And Car Pool
07:09Let's go sell some certified pre-owned vehicles, motherfu-
07:13Cash In of the Christ
07:15Hey, cocaine is the one thing that Feige said is off limits.
07:24Wait, the guy who greenlit Secret Invasion is anti-cocaine?
07:27I'm not buying it.
07:29Hey, Screen Junkies.
07:31Did you miss seeing our dumb faces talking about movies?
07:34Click on the right for our spoiler chat and movie fight about Joker 2.
07:37And if you want to see our genuine attempt to unscramble the Fox X-Men movie timeline,
07:41click the box on the left.
07:44Whoa, I'm about to make a name for myself here.
07:47Thirty-seven.
07:48Good.
07:50And this may be the last time you hear the boogie song.