10 Things: WWE Wants You To Forget About Vince Mcmahon
Bodybuilders, a fight against God and more than you can shake a stick at... Welcome to the insane world of Vince McMahon.
Category
đź“ş
TVTranscript
00:00Vince McMahon is one of the strangest creatures in the universe, he's stranger than this squid
00:04with human teeth. He's the owner of a huge global corporation, a multi-multi-millionaire,
00:09an industry leader and has spent much of his 50s and 60s covered in blood, poo and baby oil. Also,
00:15he looks like the love child of Tommy Lee Jones and every sex pest in the world.
00:19Look at him, you know he's got some pretty huge regrets. I'm Adam from WhatCulture.com
00:24and here are the top 10 things WWE want you to forget about Vince McMahon.
00:2810. The Night He Tore Both Quads
00:30The Royal Rumble 2005 had a bad botch at the end of the match which led to Batista and John Cena
00:35being eliminated at the exact same time. Seriously, that was not supposed to happen,
00:39but look how perfectly they land. Anyway, confusion reigned for a few minutes until
00:43Vince McMahon who looked, let's say, a tiny bit miffed, stormed to the ring and threw himself
00:47under the bottom rope. He tries to get up but decides against it, sitting on the ring canvas
00:50barking orders like the world's angriest child at a Punch and Judy show. Turns out that while
00:54getting in the ring, he had torn not one, but two quads. Kevin Nash takes his hat off to you,
01:00sir. It's a stark reminder that Vince McMahon is older than a tortoise's dad's favourite oak tree
01:04and something that he preferred not to remember. 9. He Fought God And Won
01:09Because Vince McMahon 316 says, and you shall worship no other god but me.
01:14Vince has an estranged relationship with the Almighty. In 2003, he claimed he was chosen by
01:18God to slaughter the Undertaker, but in 2006, as a way of exploiting the well-known fact that
01:23previous pill-head Hellraiser HBK had found salvation, he distanced himself from the Lord,
01:27founded his own religion of McMahonism, and with his demon seed Shane McMahon at his side,
01:32decided to challenge Shawn Michaels to a tag match at Backlash. Shawn's partner? God. Yep,
01:37this happened. Vince talked smack in a church, messed around with holy water, and when Backlash
01:42finally came, God came to the ring, depicted as a spotlight. Then Vince told God to get
01:48jiggy with it, and he danced around the ring to Somebody Call My Mama. I'm not making this up.
01:54Vince McMahon is beyond mad. 8. He Said What About The Undertaker's
01:59Wife Well, this is an example of how, hey,
02:01things might not be that bad under the PG era. Remember that feud with the Undertaker I mentioned
02:06earlier? Well, in the lead-up to Survivor Series 2003, Taker chose Mr. McMahon to wrestle him in
02:10a Buried Alive match. Vince was understandably a bit cautious about this, and in order to get
02:15out of the fight, threatened Paul Heyman. When Pauley dangerously couldn't help him,
02:18Vince lost it and said that he was going to have Undertaker's house burned down,
02:22and these are his words, his wife raped by a motorcycle gang.
02:31Wow. That's one of the worst things I've ever heard. The WWE want this buried deep.
02:377. The WBF Remember the World Bodybuilding Federation? Of course you don't.
02:42Vince McMahon has always liked people who look like they're made of lots of rocks glued together.
02:45I mean, look at this picture of him in Muscle & Fitness. He's one scary grandad.
02:49In 1990, thinking that the reason people like WWF is that they like looking at muscly men,
02:54he started the WBF, the World Bodybuilding Federation. Here is a bit from the WBF
02:59Championship 1991 recap. Hmm, that's the most homoerotic thing that has ever happened.
03:04Men in tiny thongs, stretching and bending, bending and stretching, stretching and bending.
03:09It didn't do very well. 6. His
03:12Illegitimate Son Don't give me any of that,
03:14he's actually Finlay's son bollocks. That's a cop-out retcon and you should be ashamed of
03:18yourself. In 2007, Vince McMahon blew up. Boom, there he goes. He then came back shortly after
03:24because of the Chris Benoit incident. The initial purpose of the fake death, however, was to reveal
03:28that Vince had an illegitimate son on the WWE roster. Now, they still wanted to go with this
03:32angle, so they tried it again later that year. Who was Vince McMahon's love child? Many stars
03:36were teased, including Triple H and all the delightful incest implications that come with
03:40that. The son was originally booked to be Mr. Kennedy and be the start of a huge push for him.
03:45However, he was implicated in a steroid scandal and got suspended, so it was revealed that Vince's
03:50bastard son was, in fact, Hornswoggle. Hmm. They tried to get out of it months later by saying he
03:56was actually Finlay's son and it was all just a trick, but no. No. Hornswoggle McMahon. That's
04:02what it is. Own up to it, you cowards. 5. The Kiss My Ass Club
04:07Vince is a bad boss. He does bad things to the people who work for him. Case in point,
04:11the Kiss My Ass Club. So, right. Vince's buttocks have been kissed by the following people. William
04:17Regal, Jim Ross, Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley, Shane McMahon, his son, and Hornswoggle, his son.
04:24Why did people have to kiss an old man's bottom? Because wrestling is only as sane as the man
04:28writing the storylines and as we've discovered, Vince McMahon is madder than a fridge full of dogs.
04:33It's a pretty horrible example of stupid art imitating stupid life and the company would
04:36like you to put it behind you. But if Vince did that to the guys who work for him,
04:40that's nothing compared to the women. 4. He's macked it with most of the women
04:44in his company. So, you're the boss of a company that exclusively hires beautiful women. What do
04:49you do? You order them to kiss you or let you feel their boobs on national TV. That's fine,
04:53right? That's not one of the worst examples of workplace harassment since Willy Wonka organized
04:57an Oompa Loompa key swapping party, right? Wrong. Vince engineered it so he could kiss and share a
05:02bath with Trish Stratus and make her bark like a dog, that he could kiss Tory Wilson on her first
05:08day in the company, that he could make Stacey Keibler dance for him, that he could make out
05:12with Sable, double horrible considering that she'd sued him for sexual harassment years before,
05:16and that he could fondle Candice Michelle's boobs. What is it like being Vince McMahon's wife?
05:223. He drugged his wife. Oh, that's what it's like. For months leading up to WrestleMania X7,
05:27after asking his wife Linda for a divorce, Vince began drugging her to the point that she was
05:31reduced to a comatose state. He did this really, really illegal thing on live TV. He would kiss
05:36Trish Stratus in front of his drugged wife and announce that he would never forgive her for
05:40giving birth to his son Shane. Sure, it paid off at WrestleMania, but it's still really horrible
05:46and weird. Their family Christmases must be odd. Funnily enough, when Linda started running for the
05:50US Senate in 2008, all mentions of being drugged into a coma by her husband suddenly stopped.
05:552. The XFL. Screw his in-ring losses. This is one of Vince McMahon's most public defeats. In
06:002001, in order to capitalize on the WWF's peak popularity after the Attitude Year and get some
06:05of that sweet NFL dollar, McMahon announced the creation of the Extreme Football League,
06:10the XFL. It would air after the NFL season finished and feature extreme rules like,
06:15uh, an opening scramble for the ball and, um, a shorter play clock. Woo.
06:23The omens were bad from the start as the XFL promotional blimp crashed over Oakland before
06:28the show even began. It folded after one season following terrible ratings and poor attendance.
06:34WWE lost between $30 and $60 million and Vince himself described it as a colossal failure.
06:401. The Steroid Trial. It was a trial that could have taken down the company. In 1994,
06:46McMahon was taken to court and charged with distributing steroids to his wrestlers. The
06:49superstar formerly known as Nails, you all remember him, testified that McMahon had ordered
06:54him to take steroids and even Hulk Hogan appeared for the prosecution, although he denied that
06:58McMahon had ever given him performance enhancing drugs. McMahon was acquitted, narrowly, but it was
07:02one of the lowest points in his life and had things gone differently, we might all be watching WCW
07:07right now, which is a galling prospect. And that's our list. Did we miss any out? Tell us about it in
07:13the comments and don't forget to like, share and subscribe and you can even follow me on Twitter
07:17here. I'm Adam from WhatCulture.com and I'll see you soon.