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The Hard Core Dude reviews a French animated spy cartoon from the early 2000s! What surprises will animated Charlie's Angels bring us this time?
Big thank you to Movielord101 for the request and Isaac the Media Hunter for editing!
https://www.youtube.com/@UC8wO5nephQy1RtMVuBwjHUA
https://www.youtube.com/@UCnuoorLtHa_4UD9dTO49JuA
The Hard Core Dude reviews a French animated spy cartoon from the early 2000s! What surprises will animated Charlie's Angels bring us this time?
Big thank you to Movielord101 for the request and Isaac the Media Hunter for editing!
https://www.youtube.com/@UC8wO5nephQy1RtMVuBwjHUA
https://www.youtube.com/@UCnuoorLtHa_4UD9dTO49JuA
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00You know, every time I try to wear these glasses, they fog up.
00:05It's like the fog of war is declared against my eyes.
00:08Ah, there we go.
00:11What's happening, dudes and dudettes?
00:13Hardcore Dude here with another review for you cool people.
00:17Time for another Patreon request, and this request has been sent by Steve Kidd, and he
00:23has requested Totally Spies, dude.
00:33Created in 2001 by French producer Vincent Chauvin-Demirci, Totally Spies is what happens
00:39when you combine Charlie's Angels with a high school anime.
00:43The plot centers around three high school students, Clover, Sam, and Alex, who work
00:48for the World Organization of Human Protection, or W.O.O.P. as they call it.
00:53It's an international spy agency that hires a bunch of young people and trains them to
00:58fight evil supervillains bent on world domination.
01:02The organization is run by Jerry Lewis.
01:04No, not that Jerry Lewis.
01:07This bloke.
01:08He's kind of like a combination of Q from James Bond and Charlie Townsend, sending the
01:12girls out to do missions and providing them with gadgets for their operations.
01:17As of 2024, the show currently has seven seasons, with seasons one to five lasting
01:22from 2001 to 2008, a movie in 2009, a sixth season in 2013, and the seventh is currently
01:29airing in France.
01:31The show aired on various networks, including ABC Family, Cartoon Network, and even Nickelodeon
01:36at some point.
01:38It's one of the very few shows to ever air on all three of the big networks.
01:42As for our main characters, we have Clover in red, voiced in English by Andrea Taylor
01:47in seasons one to six, and currently Makina Grace in season seven, Sam in green, voiced
01:54by Jennifer Hale in seasons one to six, and Rachel McFarlane in series seven, and Alex
01:59in yellow, voiced by Katie Lee in seasons one through two, Katie Griffin from seasons
02:04three to six, and currently Dana Davis in season seven.
02:08Each character has their own unique personality.
02:11Clover is the flirty fashionista type, always obsessed with buying things and hooking up
02:16with as many boys as she can find, sometimes multiple dudes at the same time.
02:21Then there's Alex, the athletic tomboy, who loves playing sports and offering moral support
02:25for her two friends.
02:27She's also known for being a bit clumsy.
02:30She's kind of like the Marcy Woo of the group, minus getting stabbed through the back, riding
02:36the lightning, and getting possessed by this evil entity.
02:41At least not yet.
02:42And lastly, there's Sam.
02:44She's the brains of the group, always putting the most effort into getting the missions
02:48done, figuring out all the gadgets, and doing her best to be a good leader.
02:52She's a better leader than Clover, that's for sure.
02:55Also I, uh, may or may not have had a bit of a crush on Sam as a kid.
03:02Hey, I had a thing for redheads back then, okay?
03:05Leave me alone.
03:06I never really watched the show traditionally as a kid, since I was more into the hard-edged
03:10stuff and not the sugary, girly type.
03:13I mean, don't get me wrong, this is a very girly show.
03:17When they're not beating the shit out of bad guys, they're going around shopping and
03:21buying millions of dollars worth of clothes and merch.
03:24Aside from their signature catsuits, this is one of the few cartoons where you will
03:28not see the main characters wearing the same outfit every episode.
03:32Hey, when you're working as a government spy, you gotta do something with all that
03:36paper, right?
03:37The show has been around for well over 20 years now, and it still has quite the fanbase.
03:42It is also infamous for, um, it's, uh, oh, how do you say it?
03:51It's high-octane fetish fuel.
03:53Yeah, this show does draw a lot of inspiration from Japanese anime, and oh wow, it shows.
04:02And you probably think, these are high schoolers, they would never do anything weird or sexual
04:06with them, right?
04:07Oh yeah, you thought Raven and Starfire were fetish fuel?
04:11France says hold my merlot.
04:13There are multiple episodes of the Girls in Bikinis, multiple episodes of them as Buff
04:19Mamas, there's Inflation, Transformation, Bondage, and yes, folks, they also have Sam
04:27naked in the shower with paparazzi taking pictures of her.
04:32What in the fuck, France?
04:35Yeah, all the creepy nonsense in the show alone is the pioneer of what would eventually
04:40make up roughly 90% of DeviantArt.
04:43Yeah, remember DeviantArt?
04:45Back when people put effort into expressing their, uh, interests before AI made everything
04:51even shittier?
04:52Oh, the good ol' days, right?
04:55Me?
04:56No, no, no, no, no.
04:57I prefer to keep my best interests to myself, thank you.
05:02Hello?
05:03Yeah, I'd like to order a large cheese pizza.
05:09EXTRA THICK!
05:11HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
05:13Oh!
05:14Geez.
05:15Moving on.
05:18So Steve actually requested five episodes for me to review, and each one contains some
05:23strange fetish or interest because he enjoys watching me suffer.
05:28As does all the 28,000 other people who currently still watch my channel.
05:33So let's sit back, relax, and let's watch Totally Spies.
05:38Roll the footage.
05:39We'll start off with Season 1, Episode 13, Shrinking.
05:43I WAS IN THE POOL!
05:44The episode begins at Mount Rushmore, where we see a family taking pictures when...
05:49Mount Rushmore suddenly shrinks down to a little-itty-bitty thing.
05:55Well, if you ever wanted to know how Carmen Sandiego got all her loot, that's how.
05:59We cut to our heroes rollerblading alongside Venice Beach, until Clover gets distracted by Boy.
06:05What's wrong, Clover? Did you, like, hurt yourself or something?
06:08No, I'm fine.
06:10Then what's with the lame rollerblading?
06:12Okay, so, before I actually get into the review portion,
06:16I do want to tell you that I'm watching the free uploads that are on the official YouTube channel.
06:21However, I'm only going to be reviewing the standard versions.
06:25Because the HD versions...
06:27What's wrong, Clover? Did you, like, hurt yourself or something?
06:30No, I'm fine.
06:32Then what's with the lame rollerblading?
06:34Yeah, the sound mixing sucks.
06:37The music is way too loud, and the dub is way too quiet.
06:41So, please excuse me if the quality kind of derps at some point.
06:45So anyway, Clover literally lands a date with a swole dude named Jason Roberts.
06:50Immediately afterwards, they all fall into a portal and get transported right into Jerry's headquarters.
06:56That seems kind of dangerous, doesn't it?
06:59I'm surprised Jerry hasn't been hit by lawsuits.
07:01So Jerry tells our three gumshoes that famous landmarks have been shrunk down and stolen,
07:07so it's up to them to get all the loot back.
07:09Today's specials include an all-in-one lipstick and titanium extender rod.
07:13Ugh! I look horrible in pinks.
07:16You wear pink on a daily basis, Clover.
07:18So the girls get sent to the Taj Mahal in India to do some investigating.
07:22But Alex is having some trouble.
07:24How do girls move in these things?
07:28Don't worry, I can fix this.
07:30Yeah, you better make sure the nuns don't see you running around in those things.
07:40Especially this one.
07:41While in the Taj Mahal, Sam finds a strange-looking circular device.
07:45Suddenly, it activates, and now the Taj Mahal is suffering from significant shrinkage.
07:51The girls use their gadgets to escape just in time, as the whole building gets teleported!
07:56Next, the girls go to the Great Wall of China.
07:59They find another one of those weird devices, which Clover smooshes.
08:03Found anything yet, Alex?
08:05Not yet.
08:06Whoa, headache!
08:08Hey, look! It's Smooshed Sam!
08:11So the girls discover a blimp that contains the shrinking machine,
08:15as well as two little people at the controls under the demand of Diminutive Smalls.
08:21Yeah, Diminutive Smalls, voiced by Rob Paulson doing his best Shredder impression.
08:28I don't care if you can't locate the tracking device.
08:32Use manual controls, but get me my Great Wall!
08:36You already got your Great Wall, Orange Man!
08:38It fell apart after a year, because you suck at everything!
08:41The girls get into a fight with the two goons, and Clover is almost sent flying right out of the blimp!
08:47Only for Rick Moranis here to hit her with the shrink ray, turning her into a tiny Clover!
08:52There you go, folks! Here is your fetish of the day!
08:55Getting shrunk and being tiny!
08:59Kind of a crappy fetish, don't you think?
09:01So Jerry gives the girls an exposition dump about Diminutive Smalls,
09:05and how he and his siblings were former whoop scientists who were in an accident a few years ago
09:10that made them all small, but gained them incredible strength.
09:14So yeah, an ongoing gimmick in this show is that a lot of the villains are former whoop members
09:20that have gone completely rogue and became supervillains.
09:26So much for the coat of honor in your international spy organization, don't you think?
09:31With Clover still shrunk, Sam and Alex track the heels down on their wall-climbing superbikes,
09:37and face off against their shrink ray house robot.
09:41They finally find a castle where Smalls has his collection of shrunken monuments,
09:46as well as a shrunken Clover in restraints.
09:49Daring today, aren't we?
09:51I'm going to shrink and steal the cities of the world, people and all,
09:56so I can have subjects to rule over!
09:59I will have my own version of SimCity at last!
10:03Nerf!
10:04Sam and Alex try to do a run-in, but because Alex is Alex, they stumble in and get captured too.
10:10How do they all get out of this?
10:12Well, as long as Jerry gives them the right gizmos, they can easily deus ex machina themselves out of trouble.
10:19How convenient that Clover just has her laser cutter eyelash courier thingy with her,
10:24and it shrunk down with her as well.
10:26What do you think might happen if Jerry accidentally gave them the wrong gizmos?
10:31Like, I don't know, maybe he accidentally gave them explosive bubblegum instead of the laser thing?
10:37Like, does he have future vision or something? Does he know all this is going to happen?
10:42So the girls track the motherfucking blimp to Tokyo, where the machine is shrinking everything in sight.
10:48But now it's Big Brain Sam time.
10:50Discovering that the lasers reflect off mirrors, she finds a glass skyscraper and uses it to reflect the blasts right back at the blimp,
10:58shrinking it and everyone in it down to the size of a beetle weight.
11:02So the minis are defeated, but Clover is still shrunk down to the point she has to wear doll outfits.
11:08I'm sure she's not getting a sponsorship from Mattel for all this.
11:11Sam and Alex are able to get her back to normal,
11:14but they accidentally use the enlarger array to also enlarge her clothes.
11:18I can't wear these! I can't wear anything! Jason can't see me like this.
11:23Why don't you just borrow an outfit from Sam or Alex? You guys all wear the same thing!
11:28But alas, the girls tell Jason that Clover is sick, and...
11:32yeah, I think now is the time that I introduce you all to...
11:36her.
11:37Ladies and gentlemen, from the people who gave you Lucy Van Pelt,
11:41Dolores Umbridge,
11:42and Amity Blythe's mom,
11:44meet the newest mega-bitch of them all...
11:48Mandy.
11:52Yep, this is Clover's arch-rival of the show.
11:56And if you thought the Mandy from Billy and Mandy was terrible...
12:00oh, this Mandy isn't even an 11. She's a 30.
12:04And that laugh?
12:05Oh, God, that Fran Drescher laugh.
12:08Every time we hear that voice, we get one step closer to firin' brimstone,
12:13blackening the earth.
12:15Here, she straight-up steals Jason from Clover.
12:20And given that we never see this guy in the show ever again...
12:23yeah, he's dead.
12:24Anyway, a fun little episode, but we got a lot more to cover,
12:28and we must move on to Episode 2, Passion Patties.
12:31Oh, this is the fat fetish episode, isn't it?
12:35Oh, get ready to run a Spartan race after this is over, folks.
12:39So the plot of this episode is that new Girl Scout cookies,
12:43or, I'm sorry, Happy Girl Cookies,
12:47are being delivered to everybody in the neighborhood,
12:49and apparently they've become so addictive,
12:52it's causing everybody who eats them to overeat
12:55and gain a considerable amount of weight.
12:57Apparently, these cookies were baked with cocaine in them.
13:01Presumably by Mrs. Doyle.
13:03Meanwhile, at the mall, Clover is trying to find a hat that fits.
13:07I'll take the medium.
13:08Oh, I'm so sorry, I just sold it to this young lady,
13:10and it was the last one.
13:14Lucky me, it's just my size.
13:17So, uh, fun fact.
13:19Did you know that Mandy is actually voiced by Jennifer Hale,
13:23who also does the voice of Sam?
13:26Yeah, that's remarkable.
13:27She voices the best character in the show, and the dirt worst.
13:32I gotta say, she has range.
13:34So the girls go undercover as Happy Girl Cookie Lasses
13:38to figure out what's causing the epidemic.
13:40They go to the house of Shirley Rogers, voiced by Kat Suessy,
13:44where they discover...
13:45Happy Girls! Hooray!
13:49She's not only ugly, she's fat!
13:51At one point, Clover ends up trying the cookies,
13:54and, yep, she becomes a cookie addict too.
13:58And it isn't long before she finally goes full Amberlynn Reid.
14:02See, I told you there'd be free samples.
14:04You know how people say that they like their girls with cake?
14:09This wasn't what they had in mind!
14:11So the girls go to the cookie factory in the Swiss Alps,
14:15presumably to get Swiss rolls.
14:17When they get there, they find that everybody's getting fat...
14:22...including Mama Cass.
14:28That's one down.
14:29Well, if there's anything that we can learn from this episode,
14:33it's that Sam has the deadliest ass on the West Coast.
14:39And that's why she's the best.
14:41So the girls are brought to the main villain, Inga Bittersweet,
14:45a former Happy Girl who got kicked off the team
14:47for eating the cookies instead of selling them.
14:50So as an act of revenge,
14:52she made her titular passion patties with a special sugar extract.
14:56It's cocaine.
14:58She turned everyone into cookie addicts until they all became fat asses.
15:03And what does she plan to do with our heroes?
15:05This is the feeder,
15:07a little creation of mine that will force-feed you until you explode.
15:12Yes, you heard that right.
15:15It's a force-feeding machine that will make the girls grow very fat
15:20until they explode like the guy in Monty Python,
15:23their bellies will get bigger,
15:26and then they'll be growing out of their fat asses all night long
15:30because they got some fat asses.
15:33This show, man.
15:34What even was this show aimed for?
15:36So Sam is able to use her handy-dandy moisturizing cream.
15:40She's able to slide out of the restraints,
15:42and they go to fight off Inga and her goons.
15:45Well, sumo fighting in Clover's case.
15:48Stop giving her the cookies, you enablers.
15:51You don't want her to get the beat us.
15:52Sam manages to melt all the passion patties,
15:55and then uses the cocaine juice on Inga,
15:58turning her into Marge Dursley.
16:00Jerry, also now a fat bastard,
16:02congratulates the girls on a job well done,
16:05and they use an antidote to get everyone back to normal.
16:08Hey, Ozempic Works wonders, you know.
16:11Look what it did to Nikocado Avocado.
16:14Now let's move on before I get sick.
16:16Season two, The Yuck Factor?
16:19OK, never mind. Now I'm going to get sick.
16:21This time, the girls are in science class
16:24where they're supposed to be dissecting frogs,
16:26but Alex is a little squeamish by it.
16:29I don't blame you, Alex.
16:30You know, back in high school,
16:32we were supposed to dissect frogs too,
16:35but I wasn't too comfortable with it.
16:37So you know what they made me do?
16:39They had me do a written assignment instead.
16:42I ended up getting an A, and I saved my lunch.
16:45So it was a win-win.
16:47Now the main plot of the episode is Jerry gets attacked
16:50by some nose-douche robot thing,
16:53and when the girls come to him for their next mission,
16:56he isn't acting himself,
16:58being very reckless with the gadgets,
17:00eating blueberry muffins even though he's allergic,
17:03and just being a nootnik overall.
17:06Oh, just like me at that 2020 Norwalk final.
17:10I wish 2020 never existed.
17:14Hey, when did it become 2023?
17:16Jer, don't we normally put the bad guys in prison?
17:19Oh, they're not criminals.
17:21These bad guys are really undercover whoop agents.
17:24Yeah, nothing sketchy about this at all.
17:27Also, wouldn't it make more sense to just, I don't know,
17:30talk to the security,
17:32let them know that they're the good guys or something?
17:35Why would you break into the jail
17:37if they're allegedly working for the government?
17:41I'm the government, I'm the government,
17:44I'm the reason nothing works.
17:47Yeah, no fucking shit, they're not actual agents.
17:49They're goons.
17:50And Jerry, turns out he's been John Malkoviched.
17:54Girls, I assure you,
17:56there is absolutely nothing to worry about.
17:59Everything is...
18:01Oh, what's up with your accent?
18:03My accent?
18:05What are you talking about?
18:07I always speak this way.
18:08Oh, mein Führer, he's been possessed by Dr. Strangelove.
18:14No.
18:16No.
18:20I can't do it anymore.
18:21I've tried.
18:22I've tried everything.
18:23I just can't do it.
18:31I'm getting the chainsaw next time.
18:33So Clover discovers Jerry and the whoop agents
18:36have a microchip in their brains
18:38that's mind controlling them.
18:40This includes a very disgusting view
18:42of what's behind Jerry's eyeballs,
18:44as we see he's being controlled
18:46by former whoop scientist turned villain, Vomessa.
18:49Yes, Project Microspy was successful,
18:53but our dear commander was too worried about ethics
18:57to understand the value of my work.
19:00Speaking in a GERMISH accent.
19:03So Vomessa uses a shrink ray to make the girls micro-sized.
19:06Didn't we just do an episode where the girls got shrunk down?
19:10Why the hell are we doing this again?
19:11They hop aboard mini Northumberland submarine here,
19:15and Jerry manages to control himself enough
19:17to allow the girls to fly right into his mouth.
19:20Well, the episode certainly lives up to its title.
19:23We get some very unflattering looks
19:25at the insides of Jerry, which is enough to make Alex sick.
19:29Honestly, I'd be better off watching
19:30that magic school bus episode
19:32where the kids all go inside Arnold,
19:35and that episode had literal shit in it.
19:37The girls play cat and mouse with Vomessa and his three goons
19:40before Jerry finally sneezes them all out of him.
19:43Vomessa and his goons go back to jail,
19:45and the girls give their teacher a written report
19:47based on their experiences inside a human body,
19:51and he gives them all A's without having to dissect anything.
19:55He even lets them keep their frogs as pets.
19:57Hooray, the frogs are safe.
19:59Oh, sorry, Alex.
20:01Well, at least it turned out better for them.
20:03Shame it didn't work for Timmy Turner.