No Place Like Home S1/E3 'Home and Away' William Gaunt • Martin Clunes
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00:00🎵Piano music plays🎵
00:28🎵Piano music stops🎵
00:31I've finished doing Dad's breakfast Mum, shall I put it in the oven?
00:33Oh yes please love.
00:35Do you know he's been complaining that since you all came back home to live he's been neglected.
00:38Oh he can behave like a child who can't get his own way sometimes.
00:41Yeah, we must be the only grown up family with a childish father.
00:45Don't be silly, he isn't like that at all.
00:48Oh, you've forgotten something haven't you?
00:50So have you Dad.
00:51It came from Old Spade.
00:52Yeah, alright, alright, alright.
00:53You're supposed to be pressing my trousers darling, if you can find the time.
00:56I'm doing them, you're doing them now, you'll just have to wait a minute.
00:59Well I've already waited half an hour for my turn in the bathroom.
01:01Well you'll just have to get up earlier won't you, you were still snoring at 8 o'clock.
01:04Yeah, sounded like you were working your way through the wardrobe with a circular saw.
01:07Well I've given up haven't I, with all you lot living here, the only way to get a wash first would be to sleep in the bath all night.
01:11You shouldn't have asked the poor kids Dad, should you?
01:13Well I didn't, your mother did.
01:15If I remember rightly Arthur, it was you who was causing it.
01:17Yes, but I didn't know that Beryl.
01:19No, you were very young, very innocent in those days.
01:23A likely story.
01:24No it's not, I was still carefully avoiding gooseberry bushes at your age.
01:28Now I'll tell you one thing, if I'd known that after 20 odd years I'd still be supporting you all,
01:33I'd have made more enquiries as to what was causing it.
01:36You mean you marked a pen then?
01:38Well I had something worked out on a bit of paper but your mother couldn't read my handwriting.
01:43I suppose it was different then before the pill.
01:46In my day the pill was something you got for a headache.
01:48In your day a headache was something women got at night before they had the pill.
01:53I don't think I want to continue this indecent conversation.
01:57Now this family got started is it...
01:59But Beryl, how much longer am I going to stand here waiting without any trousers on?
02:02I reckon that's how it all started.
02:04Beryl, I'll be late for work love.
02:06I'm doing my best, I don't feel too well this morning.
02:09Yes, what's more important, Mum's health or your trousers?
02:12Well if I didn't have to go to work, your mother's health,
02:14because I can't go like this with my trousers.
02:16There's no need to make such a fuss Dad, really.
02:18Don't knock him, he's doing very well.
02:20It's not easy to play the masterful man in your wife, Rums.
02:23Yeah, I see better legs than that on an ostrich.
02:26Oh, he's got very nice legs.
02:28Thank you darling, just leave that will you Beryl.
02:31Come on, sit down, they're quite right.
02:33You should take it easy.
02:35I'm instituting a few changes around here, long overdue.
02:38Oh not now, I'll...
02:39Lorraine, finish pressing my trousers.
02:41Just get on with it, get on with it.
02:43And I want sharp creases, preferably on the front and the back.
02:47Andy Pandey, Andy Pandey, finish getting my breakfast.
02:50I've already done it.
02:51Just do it, just do it.
02:52And you, yes, you with the three shredded wheat,
02:54get off your backside, shift those mildewed motors you got for sale out front
02:57and get my car out of the garage.
02:59My morning paper I believe, out.
03:03Well come on all of you, impress me.
03:06Arthur.
03:07Beryl, we have spent half our lives bringing up these four kids,
03:10now it's our turn.
03:12Oh I see, now you want us to bring you up, do you?
03:15Right, for a start, don't read at the table.
03:17Take your elbows off, and have you cleaned your shoes yet?
03:19Look, what I mean is, I'm not giving free run of this house
03:22to four adult kids who lounge around, costing me a fortune
03:25and making smart, aleck remarks.
03:27And what are you giving?
03:28Orders, orders.
03:29Make yourself useful until you find alternative accommodation.
03:33Don't just sit there, go and get my car out.
03:36I have, ages ago.
03:40Your keys, my lord.
03:42See you later, Mum.
03:43Bye.
03:45Yes, well, Tracy isn't getting my breakfast, is she?
03:49No, because she's already done it.
03:53Breakfast, sir.
03:55Bye-bye, Mum.
03:56Bye-bye, Nigel.
03:58Yes, but Nigel, orange juice, coffee,
04:04and your morning paper.
04:06The one I was reading is yesterday's.
04:08Bye-bye, Mum.
04:10Is there any salt?
04:15If you're not feeling well, Beryl, go back to bed.
04:19It's quite all right, thank you.
04:20No, go on, go on.
04:22You're good.
04:23Go on, lie down for half an hour.
04:25All right.
04:40I see the weather hasn't improved.
04:44Forecast says possible gale-force winds blowing up from the south.
04:47In that case, you'd better put your trousers on.
04:50See you next time, Mum.
04:51Bye.
04:56She's just like her mother.
05:02Oh!
05:07Beryl!
05:09Beryl, I've got to go to work!
05:11Fine time you've chosen to lie in bed!
05:19I feel sure that nerves have got to Nick Pearson.
05:22I've got some bills here that I think we ought to sort out financially.
05:25You know, who pays what.
05:28Yes, well, I did mention it this morning.
05:30I don't want to become the heavy-handed father, you know that,
05:32but I often get the impression, silly as it seems,
05:35that nobody ever listens to me.
05:37Yes, well, as head of the household,
05:39I think I can lay down certain financial rules,
05:41and I think you should listen.
05:43And I'm sure your mother agrees with me wholeheartedly, don't you, Beryl?
05:46What?
05:48I said you agree with me wholeheartedly, don't you, Beryl?
05:51About what?
05:52You're worse than that.
05:53You never pay any attention to what I say either.
05:55No, no, I'm just the odd bot who pays the bills around here.
05:58Walking wallet.
05:59It's just the cost of living, Arthur.
06:01You kept on about all this last night,
06:03You kept on about all this last night,
06:05and you promised you wouldn't bring it up again, didn't you?
06:07Yes, I did.
06:08I won't mention it again.
06:09I'll just pay up and shut up.
06:12But it does seem to be me against the rest.
06:14It would help, Beryl, if you backed me up occasionally.
06:17Oh!
06:18I mean, to tell you...
06:19This may surprise you, but to tell you the truth,
06:22as far as this family's concerned, I'm beginning to feel isolated.
06:25Oh!
06:30Utterly and completely.
06:33I get no attention, you see.
06:35And I feel...
06:37I feel...
06:39Beryl, are you going to sit there and...
06:41God, that's mild, isn't it? That's mild.
06:43That's my role around here, isn't it?
06:45Pay the bills and keep quiet.
06:47Oh, couldn't you mow the lawn or something?
06:49I have moaned the lawn.
06:51There's a much bigger one in the municipal gardens.
06:53Look, you might be interested to know that today I paid the rates,
06:57the telephone bill and the petrol account.
07:00I think we've had the television night.
07:02Hang on a moment.
07:03Under your hat.
07:04Fancy a pint round the Fox and Grapes? Good idea.
07:06But, look, this telephone bill is big enough
07:09to keep Busby in birdseed for the next 20 years.
07:12And I hardly use the phone. It's...
07:14Tracy, Tracy accidentally dialed a wrong number last night
07:18and then chatted for 20 minutes.
07:20It's just a matter of careful budgeting, Dad,
07:23by the head of the household.
07:25It's easy. You can do it, Dad.
07:27Any idiot can.
07:29It is just a question of careful budgeting, Arthur.
07:32Yeah, well, I've done all that, Beryl,
07:34and I've come to one conclusion.
07:36What?
07:37You and I'll have to stop eating.
07:39It's not funny, Beryl.
07:41I think I've got it sorted out now, Beryl.
07:44If the total weekly contribution of our four offsking
07:47equals £50, I think we're in with a chance.
07:50Oh, good.
07:51Just one snag.
07:52What's that?
07:53I said if. So far this month, all we've paid in is £2.50,
07:56a luncheon voucher and four IOUs.
07:59But they'll pay you, Arthur.
08:01You just don't have any faith in the integrity of your own children.
08:04That is a very unkind remark. Of course I do.
08:06Well, I should hope so.
08:07I mean, after all, they told you they'd pay you, didn't they?
08:10Yes, yes, they did.
08:11But they could be lying.
08:14Well, I'm proud of them all.
08:16Oh, I'm proud of them.
08:17I'd be a lot prouder if they stood on their own feet.
08:19Instead, they're still here, treading on mine.
08:21Well, you shouldn't have such big feet.
08:24Beryl, if I don't make an issue out of it now,
08:26they'll never pay their own way.
08:28Me, quite getting blood out of a stone as it is.
08:30Can I have tonight's paper, please, Dad?
08:32Ah, ah. Nigel, Nigel, you owe me £24.50 for your keep, old son.
08:37Now, I know you've had that temporary job at the supermarket,
08:39so don't try and get out of it.
08:41I don't want it.
08:45£24.50?
08:46Yep.
08:47Here's tonight's paper, Nigel, dear.
08:48Oh, thanks, Mum.
08:49I want to look for another temporary job while I'm waiting to go to college.
08:52There's a good boy.
08:56Yes, well, some stones have got more blood in them than others.
09:00Oh, yes, Raymond could be passionate if he wanted to.
09:03The trouble was, he only got turned on by Manchester United.
09:06Uh, Lorraine, if I dare mention it, you owe me a month's money.
09:09£49, actually. I don't want any argument about...
09:12Will a cheque be OK, Dad?
09:14Uh, yes, yes, I suppose so.
09:17Amazing.
09:19Tracy?
09:20I paid what I owe you this morning, Dad.
09:22I gave Mum £24.50, I think.
09:24Yes, yes, that's right.
09:25You never mentioned that, Beryl.
09:27I've already had my say.
09:28I'd rather you didn't speak to me about it, thank you.
09:30Well, yes, but...
09:31Ah, thank you, love.
09:33£49.
09:34It's going very well, isn't it?
09:38Yeah, if you get a job, Beryl, and the five of you paid in each week,
09:41I could retire.
09:46Yes, well, she's not been feeling very well lately.
09:49Now, then, to the biggest debtor of all, Paul.
09:52Now, then.
09:54Four weeks' money.
09:56What he's borrowed.
09:57What he owes for petrol.
10:00£143 still.
10:03Now, fat chance I've got of getting that unless he...
10:05Unless he wins the pools. Where is he?
10:07Outside. He's just sold one of his old cars to somebody.
10:09Really?
10:11This could be my lucky day.
10:13Good news, Travel Spouse, I hear you've sold a car.
10:16Yeah, what are you going to do? Mug me?
10:20Yes, I think there'll be enough there.
10:22Enough for what?
10:23What is my due, old son, and what is very much your overdue.
10:26As head of the household and chief cashier,
10:28I have to tell you that your account is now £143.50 in arrears.
10:31Now, wait a minute.
10:32I've waited for more than a month.
10:34It's not as much as that, is it?
10:35Yes, yes, it is.
10:36Board and lodging, what you owe me.
10:38And that's it.
10:40Yes, it is. Board and lodging, what you owe me.
10:42And this.
10:44This is my petrol account,
10:46on which I pay for petrol.
10:48Sign here, pay at the end of the month.
10:50And on which you'll see there are a dozen entries.
10:52Unfortunately, only three of them bear my signature.
10:54The rest bear yours.
10:55Yeah, well, I've been meaning to tell you about that.
10:57Yeah, well, don't tell me. Pay me, pay me.
10:58How much have you got there?
10:59£145.
11:02I owe you 50p.
11:05This is like bumping into Dick Turpin.
11:08You've still got money in your bank, haven't you?
11:10I don't know. I haven't shaken it lately.
11:14Right.
11:15To complete the household account,
11:17I want the money that Tracy gave you this morning.
11:20I'm afraid you can't have it.
11:22Why not?
11:23Cos Mum lent it to me.
11:24I had an outstanding debt to pay.
11:27What for?
11:28£24.50.
11:31What? You mean the money that Tracy gave you?
11:33You gave Nigel...
11:35He's not earning regular money after.
11:37He's waiting to go to college next year.
11:39Well, he could have gone this year, but he'd chicken out.
11:41What happened to Fiona, by the way?
11:43Well, I mean, you met Vanessa.
11:45Oh, yeah.
11:46I've taken this time off, you see,
11:47because I want to see a bit of the world.
11:49And I will, just as soon as I've got some money.
11:51Could I borrow £100, please?
11:53Well, have a word with your mother.
11:55She handles the nations. I'm on collections today.
11:59Yes, well, then, three out of four is better than I expected.
12:03I've got Nigel's money, I've got Paul's money,
12:05I've got Lorraine's...
12:07What's the matter?
12:09She's post-dated it to the end of next month.
12:13She's had a lot of expense lately.
12:15Dad?
12:17You know that car I just sold?
12:19Well, this has fallen off.
12:22The fella wants his money back.
12:24Sorry.
12:26Better give it back to him.
12:27He's threatening to phone the police.
12:30Ta.
12:33Where's the money?
12:35Oh, Arthur, could I have some of that £24.50 to pay the milkman?
12:39Take it all, love.
12:40I've finished with a lot of you.
12:42I've resigned.
12:53A lifetime of selfless devotion and the old gang up on you.
13:04Arthur.
13:05Trevor.
13:06On your own?
13:07Very much so.
13:08Like that, is it?
13:09Mm-hm.
13:10You want a glass of the old...
13:11Need you ask.
13:13Well, what is it this time?
13:15The kids, the wife, money?
13:17Yes.
13:18I see.
13:21You know, strange enough,
13:22there is an underlying similarity in our predicaments, Arthur.
13:25Yours or mine?
13:26What's that?
13:27We're both married.
13:28Cheers.
13:29Cheers.
13:31Oh.
13:32So, you're in trouble with Vera, are you?
13:34Well, it's probably my fault.
13:36As a husband, I have been doing some very stupid things lately.
13:39Like what?
13:40Like working six days a week to pay the bills, the mortgage and support her.
13:44And all the other animals.
13:47We...
13:48We have had a row.
13:50But I don't blame Vera.
13:51It's probably my fault as much as hers if she hadn't started it.
13:54Oh.
13:55You do get yourself into hot water.
13:57I only wish I could.
13:58There's a family of turtles living in the bath at the moment.
14:02That's what the row was about.
14:03Oh.
14:04Well, you've called it a very opportune moment, Trevor.
14:07Feeling a bit miffed.
14:08Probably the sherry.
14:10No, no. I mean, I feel a bit isolated, you know?
14:12Isolated?
14:14There's so many of them in this house, I thought you'd be suffocated.
14:17Now, you see...
14:18Oh.
14:19My problem is,
14:20I don't think I hold any surprises for Vera any more.
14:23Well, you never cease to surprise me.
14:25Why?
14:26How much of that awful sherry you can put away.
14:29It is a bit ropey, isn't it?
14:30Oh, yes. I'll be so glad when it's gone.
14:32Me too.
14:34Now, Arthur.
14:35Yep.
14:36I have been thinking of having a few days off.
14:38Getting away from it all.
14:39Well, away from Vera, mainly.
14:40Well, they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder.
14:43Who does?
14:44Fellas who aren't married.
14:46I thought I might drive to the coast.
14:48I've got some holiday time due to me.
14:50Hm?
14:51Want to come?
14:52What, you and me, on the loose?
14:54Well, I wouldn't have said on the loose, but there again,
14:56who knows what evil lurks in the minds of men.
14:58Yes.
15:00No, no, I don't think I could.
15:02Oh, why not?
15:03Let's live it up.
15:04Let's put it about a bit while we've both still got it.
15:06No.
15:07I think I'm...
15:08I think I'm too far gone into monogamy.
15:10I thought that was a...
15:11I thought that was a sort of dark wood.
15:18Yes, it is.
15:20The trouble with you, Arthur, is you're too predictable.
15:23They all take you for granted here.
15:24Well, I've been around rather a long time.
15:26Yeah, well, that's all the...
15:27Oh, hello, Trevor.
15:28Hello, Tracy.
15:29All the more reason why you should come with me, then.
15:31I thought we might set off tomorrow morning.
15:32Set off where?
15:33Well, I was suggesting your dad and I have a few days off.
15:35Sort of mini break by the sea.
15:37Oh, yeah, that looks all good.
15:38What would?
15:39Dad and Trevor are going on holiday together.
15:40No, I haven't said I was going.
15:42Going where?
15:43Look, this has got nothing to do with you lot.
15:45What's happening?
15:46Dad and Trevor are going away together.
15:48Why say?
15:51Surprise, surprise.
15:52Well, I'm not shocked.
15:53I just hope they'll both be very happy together.
15:55Well, at least I get a few days' privacy, wouldn't I?
15:58How would you get the time off work?
15:59Oh, that's easy.
16:00I get compassionate leave.
16:01Marital malnutrition and parental paralysis.
16:04Go ask Mum.
16:05Ask me what?
16:06Dad's leaving home.
16:07No, I'm not, love.
16:08It's just that Trevor has suggested
16:09he and I go away for a few days' holiday together
16:11and I just told this lot at least I get a bit of privacy.
16:14What about privacy?
16:15I'm more interested in a bit of debauchery.
16:19I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
16:22And what has Vera got to say about all this?
16:24Oh, she hasn't said anything.
16:25That's funny.
16:26I thought she'd have made a fuss.
16:27Doesn't she object?
16:28No, no.
16:29That's strange.
16:30Not really.
16:31I haven't told her yet.
16:32And what do you intend to do for these few days?
16:35Oh, don't ask, Mum.
16:36It'll only upset you.
16:37You know that Mr Robinson from number 26?
16:39Well, he went on holiday without his wife and family.
16:42Really?
16:43When?
16:44About two years ago.
16:45He hasn't come back yet.
16:46Yeah, well, let's just drop this.
16:47I haven't said I'm going yet, Beryl,
16:49and I probably wouldn't if you didn't want me to.
16:51Unless there was some overwhelming and compelling reason why I should.
16:54Weather forecast's very good.
16:56Oh, well, there we are, then.
16:57Can't very well ignore that.
16:58Right, I'll pick you up tomorrow morning about nine.
17:00Er...
17:01Make a date 30.
17:15I nearly forgot that.
17:22CAR HONKS
17:38Morning, Trevor.
17:40Morning, Arthur.
17:42Well, goodbye, dear.
17:44The break'll do you good.
17:46Right, we're off, then.
17:48You lot come out to cheer?
17:49Well, no.
17:50Actually, we all chipped in and we wanted you to have this.
17:53Oh.
17:54Oh, no, I...
17:55I couldn't.
17:56Take it, honey.
17:57Oh, that's...
17:58It's not much. It's only £20.
18:00That's very kind.
18:01We thought it would come in handy.
18:02Yeah.
18:03Have a nice time, Arthur.
18:04Oh, thanks a lot.
18:05Bye.
18:06Bye, Dad.
18:07Bye.
18:08Have a good time.
18:09Um, if you could bring some of it back, we'd be obliged.
18:16Come on, Arthur, let's get going.
18:18I can't wait to get there and start.
18:20Start what?
18:21Anything at all I think I can finish.
18:31This must be how it feels to come out of prison after a long stretch.
18:34I can't think of a holiday without Beryl and the kids.
18:36You won't regret it, Arthur.
18:38Regret it? You put your foot down.
18:39I can't wait to get there and enjoy it.
18:41Right.
18:43I can see us now.
18:44On the beach, beers in hand.
18:46Yeah.
18:47Resting in the shade of a couple of well-built blondes.
18:51What's that knocking?
18:52Opportunity, Arthur.
18:55Relax, unwind. We're on holiday.
18:58Yeah, I'm sorry, chap.
19:03So he said, I can't stand your rabbiting any longer.
19:05So, have you got any more coffee, Beryl?
19:07Oh, yes.
19:08So, where am I going?
19:09Oh, here.
19:10So, anyway, I turn round, I turn round, I turn round to him and I say,
19:13either you apologise or one of us is going to have to leave.
19:16And he turned round to me and he said, well, where would you go?
19:19That's very cheap.
19:20Well, I think...
19:21So, anyway, I said, marriage is supposed to be give and take.
19:25And he turned round to me and he said,
19:27all right, give me the car keys, I'll take you back to your mother's.
19:30Well, it seems to me...
19:31I said, I don't want to go to my mother's, do you?
19:33So I went upstairs and I packed a suitcase.
19:36And he said, well, where are you going then?
19:38And I said, I'm not, this is yours.
19:44So, anyway, he said, well, I'll go on holiday then.
19:47I haven't been anywhere decent since I was evacuated during the war.
19:51So I turned round to him and I said, sugar?
19:54I said...
19:56Well, this will be the same thing then.
19:58You'll be going to a safe place, away from the enemy.
20:07Of course, he doesn't appreciate it when I'm being witty.
20:11I said, have you got any more biscuits, Beryl?
20:16You really are taking this all very well, Beryl.
20:19The going off like that, you haven't mentioned it once since we got here.
20:22Well, it's fine.
20:23I know, it's because you're upset.
20:25Well, I must say, I think it's too much,
20:27leaving us to do all the work while they go off enjoying themselves.
20:31If I'd known my Trevor,
20:32he'd be lying flat on his back on the beach right now.
20:35Oh.
20:40It's no good.
20:41The big end's gone for a start.
20:43The whole thing's seized up.
20:44When did you last have it checked?
20:46When it passed its MOT.
20:49How long ago was that?
20:51It expires next Friday.
20:54Well, this is a fine place to break down.
20:57Halfway to our destination, miles from anywhere.
21:00We'll have to hitch a lift to Civilisation, arrange to get it towed in.
21:11Where the hell are you going?
21:13I'm going to hitch a lift.
21:15We're going that way, not that way.
21:17Well, we were, but we can't now, can we?
21:20Why not? What about our holiday?
21:22Well, I'm sorry, Arthur,
21:23but what with the recovery fees and the repair bills,
21:26I can't afford it now.
21:28I don't care about that.
21:29I'm not going back.
21:30I'm going on holiday.
21:31We'll hire a car.
21:32With what this lot will cost me,
21:33I couldn't afford to hire a pair of roller skates.
21:36I'm going on.
21:39Do you hear me?
21:40I'm going on.
21:47Have a nice time.
21:49Send me a postcard.
21:51But it was your idea in the first place.
21:54I'll save up. We'll go next year.
22:04What are we going to do now, then?
22:08I don't know.
22:35Now, are you sure you don't mind?
22:37I don't want to go home.
22:38I want to go on holiday.
22:39So what choice do I have?
22:40So if I change my mind and come with you,
22:42you agree to pay half the cost of the repair bills, etc?
22:44Yes, yes, yes.
22:45I suppose I shall have to hire the car when we get there as well.
22:48Well, I don't see why not.
22:49May I suggest a nice big limousine?
22:51May I suggest you get stuffed?
22:54We have a nice big car.
22:55We could sleep in it.
22:56Save on hotel bills.
22:57Sorry.
22:58Just get over there to that garage
23:00and get them to tow that heap of yours in
23:02before we get fined for littering the countryside.
23:05Not a heap.
23:06Four new tyres on it.
23:44Well, I'm doing most of the paying.
23:47KNOCK AT DOOR
24:03Master, somebody's nicked my wheels!
24:16Oh, no!
24:24I was quite happy at home until you came round.
24:28Well, at least we got away for a few days.
24:34Vera's bound to get very upset when she gets here.
24:37Well, you don't deserve any sympathy.
24:39Not upset about me.
24:40Upset about the car.
24:42I've still got six months' HP to go on it.
24:45And I haven't paid for the tyres yet.
24:46Well, with a bit of luck, she'll black your other eye.
24:49Look, this isn't all my fault, Arthur.
24:51If we'd gone home, like I suggested,
24:53we wouldn't be here now, would we?
24:55Wasn't a bad idea.
24:56Have a bit of a break.
24:58Well, we got that two hours too late.
25:03Oh, shouldn't they be here by now, Vera and Beryl?
25:05They're going to one of Paul's old bangers.
25:07They won't be here till the end of the week.
25:08That's all right.
25:09It's not as if we're going anywhere.
25:12We were going to enjoy ourselves, you said.
25:14Live it up a bit.
25:15Bit of debauchery, I think you said.
25:17Yeah.
25:18Mind you, I do quite fancy the ward, sister.
25:21The one with the comforting bosom.
25:25Well, in your position,
25:26you'll have a hell of a job to put it about a bit.
25:30Can't really see you taking a nurse in your arms, either.
25:37Oh, I don't know what we're laughing at.
25:39We're in trouble, aren't we?
25:40Yeah.
25:41You're in more.
25:42Here comes Vera.
25:45I'm sorry, Vera.
25:47Oh, my pet!
25:50Oh, you poor thing.
25:52Are you all right?
25:54Oh, look at you, poor...
25:56Oh, what have you done?
25:58Oh!
26:00Oh, I was so worried when I got the phone call.
26:03Oh, Trevor!
26:08Oh, I'm so glad you're...
26:12Vera.
26:14The cars are right off.
26:16Never mind the car as long as you're in one piece, my love.
26:23And Arthur!
26:30Oh, you men.
26:32We let you out of our sight for an hour,
26:34now look what you've gone and done.
26:36Vera and the kids are on their way
26:38in one of Paul's old cars.
26:40I came by train.
26:43I had to change twice, but don't worry.
26:46They will be here eventually.
26:50I'm glad you've come, Vera.
26:52Oh, Trevor.
26:55I'll look after you, my love.
26:57We'll soon have you back home amongst the pets.
27:00That's where you belong.
27:02I'd like that, Vera.
27:03In fact, if it hadn't been for Arthur,
27:05I'd never have gone off in the first place.
27:13Come on, then, Dad. Come and sit over here.
27:15You look very well, considering.
27:17Yes, at least you've had a good rest while you've been in hospital.
27:20I bet you're that pleased to be home, aren't you?
27:22There you go. Put your feet up now.
27:24Oh, that all right?
27:26Good. Mum's made you something special.
27:28We had your dinner all prepared.
27:30I've got you a lovely piece of steak, dear.
27:33And here's your first course.
27:38Chicken soup.
27:41I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it.
27:43Now, there we are.
27:48Not too hot, is it?
27:49No.
27:50Good.
27:51Hello, Dad. Feeling better?
27:52Yeah.
27:53That's the spirit. There's your paper.
27:55I've got a new temporary job at the laundry.
27:57So if you want your trousers pressing free of charge, just say the word.
28:00Well, you don't look too bad, Pop.
28:03Mum's got you a nice piece of steak
28:05and I've been down to the shops to get you some ice cream.
28:07Oh, and Trevor and Vera are coming round this evening.
28:10I suppose they can't go far now without a car.
28:13They're not. I've sold them one of mine.
28:15Oh, no, not the one that burns oil after you turn the engine on.
28:18Oh, no, this one's a beauty. 150 quid's worth.
28:21Vera paid him.
28:22Oh, yes, apparently she got Trevor heavily insured against accidents.
28:26And you don't have to worry about them all.
28:29They've all done really well while you've been away.
28:31Lorraine's got her maintenance money from Raymond.
28:34You've got a job. Tracy's doing very well at work.
28:37And now Paul's sold a car.
28:39Oh, what... Is it this? Is this what you want?
28:42There. There. What is it?
28:45Well, I really do appreciate all the kindness and consideration
28:49that you're showing me.
28:51And, well, this seems to be as good a time as any,
28:54as you're all doing so well.
28:58Nigel owes me £24.50.
29:01Lorraine, £49.50. Paul, £143.50.
29:31APPLAUSE