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Short filmTranscript
00:30I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?
00:45Sare phuladi hai Munna bhaiya, aankhi chipka do aap.
00:49Kahe?
00:50Tu nahi chipka sakti ka?
00:54Haan?
00:55Woh bechara beche bhi aur chipkae bhi.
00:58Aare woh roj jaane ke pehle ek ghanta padhai karta hai, phir jaata hai bechne.
01:03Aur tu?
01:04Din bhar padhi-padhi chaarpai todti rehti hai, tumko toh aur kuch kaam hai nahi.
01:08Chalo ot, aur jaake bhai ka help kar.
01:10Usko palko pe betha ke rakha hai, aur humko chain se palang mein bhi bethne nahi dete.
01:13Humko toh lagta hai, wohi sagay hai.
01:15Hum toh mil gaye, kude daan mein.
01:17Kaha hai na pitiya, humko bada bhok laga tha, ghar mein khaana nahi tha, toh pados
01:22mein chale gaye khaana khaane.
01:24Woh kameena, aisa khilaya ki das mehne tak peht khaali hi nahi hua, bas faalto ki baat
01:30karte raho tum.
01:35Hum hi boore hai ghar mein, baaki sab doodh ke dhule hain.
01:45Upar se woh, is umar mein chale padhne, tu khaali chugli kar uski, haan mujhe pata hai.
01:53Mere munne jaisa nek ladka, poore gaon mein nahi hai.
01:56Arey, padhne dikhne ka bhi koi umar hota hai ka?
02:05Aadmi ke link ke uttejit hone par, aasat lambai 6 inch hoti hai.
02:11Yadhi thukai ke waqt jauni mein, 6 inch bhitar aur 5 inch bahar aata hai toh, ek baar andar
02:20bahar hone par lagbhag 12 inch ka safar tay karta hai.
02:25Baap re, phir maan lo, ek pakad mein 50 baar andar bahar hota hai, toh 12 goone 50, barabar
02:36600 inch chalta hai.
02:38Matlab, iss se maanavta ke anusaar, toh ek samane manuse ka link, apne jeevan kaal mein
02:47lagbhag 200 se 300 kilometre ka safar tay karta hai.
02:51Baap re, itna khatarnak ganeet, yeh toh bhaiya humne kabhi ghanta padhai nahi ki.
03:17Kaafi mulaayam aur bade bade gubbare hain, aur size bhi kaafi ache hain, waise kya size
03:36honge hai iske?
03:37Humko ka pata, kitne chahiye bolo?
03:39Do de do.
03:43Lo!
03:47Ah!
04:04Sri sri bhosri ke kachru, yeh gubbare hai, aam nahi jo daba daba ke dekh rahe ho.
04:10Arre munna, hum toh iss wajah se dekh rahe thi ki, darasal kya hai ki aaj kal kuch gubbare
04:16aise hote hain jo haath lagati bhoota jaate hain.
04:18Toh issi wajah se hum dekh rahe the.
04:22Aisa hai beta, tum jaante ho na, ki munna nakli maal nahi beshta hai.
04:27Chalo, le liye na?
04:28Haan.
04:29Pehli fursat mein nikal lo.
04:30Haan.
04:31Niklo.
04:32Bholi.
04:33Hmm?
04:34Tum na bahut bholi ho.
04:36Aur iss sala Akhil Bharatiya Sanghatan ka sardar, inke na jyada moon na laga karo.
04:42Samjhi?
04:43Arre, koi saman lene aayega, toh nahi devegi ka?
04:47Tu ghabda mat, hum Rijalevi bhi itni bholi na hai.
04:51Tum bhi na thoda dhyan rakha karo.
04:54Samjhi?
04:55Aise saans bahu ke naatak se na dhyan hatao, saabdhan India Crime Patrol dekha karo.
05:02Hmm?
05:13Atao saido.
05:17A suno, do roti extra bhejna.
05:20Jaise khud sabki bhenon ke saath maa bhen kar raha hai, soch raha iski bhen ke saath
05:30bhi koi bhen kata ka taka na vidhate.
05:32Par hamara naam bhi bholi hai.
05:34Yohi baalon me kaante wali pin nahi lagate.
05:37Sider nunni mein ghusa denge.
05:39Hmm?
05:40Jindagi na milegi duwara, aake forlo munne ka gubbara.
05:44Jindagi na milegi duwara, aake forlo munne ka gubbara.
05:48Yeh nahi hai sirf gubbara, yeh tumhare kismat ka phuhara.
05:53Huh?
05:54Arey, pahinchod.
06:02Jab ham I love you bhole the,
06:05tab pahinchod boli thi hamare kuch sapne,
06:08us sapne ko poora karna hai.
06:10Ab dekho iske sapne, bachon ke gaar do rahi hai.
06:20Arey, jindagi na milegi duwara, aake forlo munne ka gubbara.
06:24Jindagi na milegi duwara, aake forlo munne ka gubbara.
06:30Jindagi na milegi duwara, aake forlo munne ka gubbara.
06:34Aake forlo munne ka gubbara.
06:37Arey, jindagi na milegi duwara, aake forlo munne ka gubbara.
06:41Munna bhaiya!
06:42Jindagi na milegi duwara.
06:44Munna bhaiya, do mere dost ko phone ne do,
06:46do mujhe phone ne do.
06:48Acha?
06:49Theek hai bhe.
06:51Lekin ek baat patao.
06:52Haan?
06:53Didi kaha hai tumhri?
06:54Didi ghar par sangeet ki tayari kar rahi hai.
06:59Theek hai bhe.
07:00Forlo gubbara.
07:03Paisa hum tumhri didi se le lenge.
07:23Hello.
07:24Bolo.
07:25Arey, tumhna chutka aaya hai,
07:27aur gubbara forne ki jeet kar raha hai.
07:29Bagao us bhausri wale ko wahan se.
07:31Usko pata nahi,
07:32jitna gubbara forega,
07:33utni baar uski didi fori jaayegi.
07:36Arey, kaha chinta karti ho?
07:39Pyaar se forenge.
07:40Maalum hai,
07:41kitna pyaar se forte ho.
07:44Pichli baar, pata nahi,
07:46mircha laga kar aaye the kya?
07:47Jab bhi showchaale mein betti hoon,
07:49Barki ki chutki barbara jaati hai.
07:52Arey, chinta na karo.
07:53Aaj ek tam naha dho ke nikle hai.
07:56Ab thoda has bhi do Barki.
07:58Achha suno,
07:59ghar mein shaadi hai.
08:01Aaj hum tumko,
08:02gaaye ke tabela mein milenge.
08:05Theek hai,
08:06tum paida visha ke rakho,
08:08hum aate hai.
08:16Insaan bhi na,
08:18chalta phirta Taj mahal hai.
08:20Na jaane apne seene mein,
08:22kitni Mumtaz ko tafan kiye hua hai.
08:24Keelo bae,
08:27tum phodo kumbhara,
08:28hum aam chuske aate.
08:39Tum na patwari,
08:40kuch zyada hi nahi uchhal rahe ho aaj ghar?
08:43Kabhi kabhi tum aapne,
08:44hai aapne?
08:45Aapne?
08:46Aapne?
08:47Aapne?
08:48Aapne?
08:49Aapne?
08:50Aapne?
08:51Aapne?
08:52Aapne?
08:53Kabhi kabhi tum mann karta hai,
08:54tumhe jaan se maar doon.
08:57Phir main yeh sochti hoon,
08:58ki is desh mein,
09:00achche se lene walon ki,
09:02daadaad bahut kam hai.
09:17Kaise kaise parampara hai humare desh mein.
09:19Aap batao,
09:20gaali bhi gaay jaati hai ka?
09:23Batao?
09:25Achcha ek baat batao,
09:27tumhari bahin ka byaa ho raha hai na,
09:29usko bol dena,
09:30achche se saaf safai karke,
09:32saswaal jaaye.
09:33Kahe?
09:34Are,
09:35agar saaf safai karke nahi jaayegi,
09:37to aaj kal ke dulay ko lagta hai,
09:39ki larki ki saadi,
09:40uske marji ke khilaf hua hai.
09:42Isliye itni gandi mann kar aaye.
09:44Sachhi,
09:45tum bahut harami ho haan.
09:48Tarif ke liye dhanyawaad.
09:50Achcha hi batao,
09:54tumhare bhai ka naam,
09:57Lakhan, Udas, Netaji Das,
09:59kisne rakha be?
10:01Pitaji ne.
10:03Pitaji?
10:05Tumko pata hai,
10:07itne bade naam ka short kya hota hai?
10:10Lakhan ka L,
10:12Uday ka U,
10:14Netaji ka N,
10:16aur Das ka D.
10:18Sab mila kya ho gaya?
10:20Samjhi, samjhi.
10:22Bolo mat,
10:23nikalo,
10:24gubbare phodo,
10:25aur jao yahan si.
10:27Nahi to,
10:28is gulab ke chakkar me rahe jaoge to,
10:30to baaki ke phool,
10:32udas ho jaayenge.
10:34Bagla gayi ho ka?
10:36Kaisi baat kar rahi ho tum?
10:38Tum jaanti ho na?
10:40Tumhare halawa,
10:41hum kisi aur ladki ko chuna to dur,
10:43sochte bhi nahi hai.
10:46Achcha?
10:47To wo gaon ke,
10:49hone wali channe ke pet me,
10:51jo bachcha aa gaya tha,
10:53wo kiska tha?
10:55Aarey,
10:56humko ka pata kiska tha?
10:58Gaon me chitne nangya bachche ghum rahe,
11:00sab ke pita siri
11:02hum hi thodi nahi hai.
11:04Sachchi?
11:06Muchchi.
11:08Tum aaj phir se nirod nahi kharide na,
11:10pichwada bhajaoge kya hamra?
11:13Kaha hai na darling,
11:15hamre size ka nirod milta nahi hai,
11:17aur jam milta nahi hai to
11:19hum lagate nahi hai.
11:21Seedhi baat,
11:23no bakwaas.
11:25Phir se bahana ha?
11:27Aarey, tum kahe chinta karti ho?
11:29Bas,
11:31tum das tak gino,
11:33das baari par niche karenge na,
11:35ho jaayega?
11:37Theek hai.
11:45Aarey,
11:47humko ka pata kiska tha?
11:49Aarey,
11:51humko ka pata kiska tha?
11:53Aarey,
11:55humko ka pata kiska tha?
11:57Aarey,
11:59humko ka pata kiska tha?
12:01Aarey,
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16:40humko ka pata kiska tha?
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16:44humko ka pata kiska tha?
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16:48humko ka pata kiska tha?
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16:52humko ka pata kiska tha?
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17:14Aarey,
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18:14Aarey,
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18:28humko ka pata kiska tha?
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18:32humko ka pata kiska tha?
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18:36humko ka pata kiska tha?
18:38Aarey,
18:40humko ka pata kiska tha?
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18:44humko ka pata kiska tha?
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18:48humko ka pata kiska tha?
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18:52humko ka pata kiska tha?
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18:56humko ka pata kiska tha?
18:58Aarey,
19:00humko ka pata kiska tha?
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19:04humko ka pata kiska tha?
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19:08humko ka pata kiska tha?
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19:12humko ka pata kiska tha?
19:14Aarey,
19:16humko ka pata kiska tha?
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19:20humko ka pata kiska tha?
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19:24humko ka pata kiska tha?
19:26Aarey,
19:28humko ka pata kiska tha?
19:30Aarey,
19:32humko ka pata kiska tha?
19:34Aarey,
19:36humko ka pata kiska tha?
19:38Aarey,
19:40humko ka pata kiska tha?
19:42Aarey,
19:44humko ka pata kiska tha?
19:46Aarey,
19:48humko ka pata kiska tha?
19:50Aarey,
19:52humko ka pata kiska tha?
19:54Aarey,
19:56humko ka pata kiska tha?
19:58Aarey,
20:00humko ka pata kiska tha?
20:02Aarey,
20:04humko ka pata kiska tha?
20:06Aarey,
20:08humko ka pata kiska tha?
20:101,
20:122,
20:143,
20:164,
20:185,
20:206,
20:227,
20:248,
20:269,
20:2810,
20:3011,
20:3212,
20:3413,
20:3614,
20:381, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
20:50Why are you counting backwards?
20:52Are you going to keep it inside?
20:54Darling, don't you know our younger brother, Saiyaan Salman?
20:58He has come with his character, Mastani.
21:02I have put it there.
21:08Ah! Ah! Ah!
21:38Ah! Ah!
22:09This gun is not working.
22:13Let's do one thing. Let's break it with our hands.
22:16Lakhan, tell me one thing.
22:18Why does Munna bhai give you a cart every day?
22:21He goes to suck mangoes.
22:23By sucking mangoes, I remembered what our parents suck.
22:27And they don't let us suck the thumb.
22:34Hey! Hey! Hey!
22:36Hey! Hey!
22:38It's a balloon.
22:39It's not your mother's gulak that you are breaking.
22:41By the way, he went alone to suck mangoes.
22:44He didn't even tell us.
22:47Now you won't be able to suck.
22:49In our school, one of our friends sucks mangoes with both hands.
22:56It's like this, son.
22:57You grow up.
22:58Then suck mangoes.
22:59Understood?
23:00Now get out of here.
23:02Get out.
23:06Get out.
23:11Rascal!
23:12I was fixing his gun.
23:14He broke my gun and went away.