Tom Cruise - Les Grossman (BEST MOMENTS) - Tropic Thunder
Tom Cruise - Les Grossman (BEST MOMENTS) - Tropic Thunder
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00:00He may be able to see me, but I can't see him.
00:17Move!
00:18Move!
00:19Move!
00:20I'm getting out of my way.
00:21Hello, Les!
00:22Hello!
00:23Get your ass out of my way.
00:24Your feet were on my desk.
00:25I don't know why we don't have this.
00:26It should be up right here.
00:27Get him a diet coke.
00:28Les!
00:29Okay, okay, okay.
00:30Hello, Les.
00:31We got you loud and clear here, Les.
00:33I see you.
00:34I see you.
00:35I see you.
00:36Which one of you fuckfaces is Damien Cochran?
00:41That's me, sir.
00:42It's good to finally meet you at last.
00:44Get some face time.
00:45And who here is a key grip?
00:49You?
00:50You.
00:51Hit that director in the face.
00:54Be fucking hard.
01:02Sorry, ma'am.
01:03Ow!
01:04Ow!
01:05Ow!
01:06Ow!
01:07This is your fault!
01:12You limey fuck!
01:13You shit the money bed, my friend.
01:15What?
01:16Goddammit, Damien!
01:17With all due respect, Les Grossman did not blow up the jungle!
01:21What?
01:22Fuck the jungle.
01:23Exactly!
01:25Come on, then!
01:26Hey, Les, I understand if you're angry, but I am dealing with a bunch of prima donnas
01:31clowns.
01:32Tell Steven he can't cry.
01:34He can't cry.
01:35You know how you handle an actor?
01:36They whine about anything.
01:37You pull down their pants and you spank their ass.
01:41You spank that ass, Les.
01:42You want to make this movie right?
01:45That's where you take your pansy-ass actors.
01:49Who is this guy?
01:52Les, that's Fourleaf.
01:54Sergeant Fourleaf Tabak.
01:56I wrote the book.
01:58Oh.
01:59You're a great American.
02:02This nation owes you a huge debt.
02:04Now shut the fuck up and let me do my job!
02:07Look, Cockburn.
02:08Yes?
02:09From now on, my fist is going to be so far up your shithole that every time you have
02:14a thought, it's going to have to tiptoe past my wedding ring.
02:18Take control of your actors or I will shut you down!
02:22Diet Coke!
02:23I'm going to rip your fucking tits off.
02:25You want to talk about trouble?
02:27That's trouble.
02:28Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
02:32What do you need, Peck?
02:34More like, what do you need, Les?
02:37Glasses?
02:39What?
02:40So you can read the Tropic Thunder contract that guarantees my client, Tug Speedman,
02:45some form of digital video recorder on location?
02:49Huh?
02:51Look, fuckstick, I'm incredibly busy, so why don't you get the hell out of here before
02:55I snap your dick off and jam it into your ass.
02:58No, not you, Helen.
03:00But I will rip your tits off if you don't get me those theaters.
03:04Perfect.
03:05Hey, Tugger Nuts, I've got you on speakerphone.
03:08I'm standing here with Les Grossman, and he's dying to tell you why he's apparently wiped
03:12his ass with the TiVo clause from your contract.
03:16This is Les Grossman.
03:17Who is this?
03:18This is Les Grossman.
03:19Who is this?
03:20This is Flaming Dragon.
03:22Oh, okay, Flaming Dragon.
03:24Fuckface.
03:25First, take a big step back and literally fuck your own face!
03:31Now, I don't know what kind of pan-Pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull
03:35here, but Asia Jack is my territory.
03:37So whatever you're thinking, you better think again.
03:38Otherwise, I'm going to have to head down there, and I will rain down on a godly fucking
03:42firestorm upon you.
03:43You're going to have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution
03:47to keep me from fucking destroying you.
03:49I am talking scorched earth, motherfucker!
03:52I will massacre you!
03:54I will fuck you up!
04:03Do you want to find out who that was?
04:05Yeah, yeah.
04:06Go.
04:07Flaming Dragon's a heroin manufacturer.
04:10He's responsible for and aid for the drug trade in Asia.
04:13Huge profit margin.
04:15Guys!
04:16Will somebody please let me know what the game plan is?
04:20Check.
04:21We have it handled.
04:22Please don't interrupt.
04:23Everything's under control.
04:24I got it.
04:25I got it.
04:26I got it.
04:38Liz Grossman.
04:39We not get money yet.
04:41Price now 100 million.
04:43You pay now, or tomorrow simplejack die.
04:46Great.
04:47Let me get this down.
04:49100 million.
04:51Oh, wait.
04:52I got a better idea.
04:54Instead of 100 million, how about I send you a hobo's dick cheese?
04:59Then you kill him.
05:00Do your thing.
05:01Skin the fucking bastard.
05:02Go to town, man.
05:03Go to town!
05:04No.
05:05In the meantime, and as usual, go fuck yourself.
05:09No.
05:10We don't negotiate with terrorists.
05:14Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
05:15Hey, hey, are you insane?
05:17I think I could have done that better.
05:18No, I thought it was good.
05:19They're gonna kill him.
05:23And?
05:27And.
05:29It's a cold, hard world.
05:32Shit happens.
05:36We'll weep for him in the press.
05:39Set up a scholarship in his name.
05:42Eventually, and I'm talking way, way down the road, we file an insurance claim.
05:47Preferably before the end of the fiscal year.
05:50Actually, the claim alone would net us more than what we would lose.
05:56You can't be serious.
05:59You kick in the door to my house while dancing your pants, sucking my left nut,
06:04to get a TiVo scrap for the third runner-up Sexiest Man Alive 1998.
06:11And you're asking if I'm serious?
06:17Let's face it.
06:19The kids aren't dressing up as Scorcher for Porm anymore.
06:24Speedman is a dying star.
06:27A white dwarf heading for a black hole.
06:31That's physics. It's inevitable.
06:34We've been handed an incredible opportunity here, Beck.
06:37The universe is talking to us right now.
06:41You just gotta listen.
06:56See, this is the good part, Pecker.
06:58This is when the job gets fun.
07:01Ask, and you shall receive.
07:05Alright, you play ball, we play ball.
07:09I know you want the goodies.
07:12Welcome to the goody room.
07:15You paying attention?
07:16Cause I'm talking with G5, Pecker.
07:19That's how you get along.
07:21No more frequent flat bitch miles from my boy.
07:25Oh yeah.
07:27Player.
07:29Player.
07:31Take that, player.
07:33Swinging past your knees.
07:35Big dick, baby.
07:36Yep.
07:40Or...
07:42You can grow a conscience in the next five minutes and see where that takes you.
07:50Let me get this straight.
07:52You want me to let my client of 15 years, one of my best friends, die...
07:59In the jungle alone for some money and a G5?
08:04Yes.
08:10A G5 airplane.
08:14Yes.
08:16And lots of money.
08:20Player.
08:25Yeah!
08:26Yeah!
08:28Smack it up, flip it, rub it down.
08:30Oh!
08:35Eight Oscars, 400 million dollars, and you saved Tug Speeding's career.
08:43I couldn't have done it without you, Sloan.
08:48Really?
08:49No, dickhead, of course I couldn't.
08:51A nutless monkey could do your job.
08:53I don't...
08:54I don't get drunk and take credit at all the parties.
08:57I would never do that to you.
08:58I'm drunk.
08:59Yeah?
09:00Yeah.
09:01There he is.
09:02Okay, there he is.
09:03There he is.
09:04Go have fun.
09:05All right.
09:06We're having a...
09:07Okay.
09:08Thank you, Les.
09:10We have a good night.
09:11But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job.
09:12Good.
09:13Thank you, sir.
09:25Okay.
09:27Idiot.
09:32Heads up!
09:33Whoo, whoo, whoo!
09:35Heads up!
09:36Whoo, whoo, whoo!
09:37Here's another one.
09:38And a...
09:39And a nother one!
09:40And another one!
09:41Hee hee, why you out of my era?
09:44Talking a whole bunch a shit that I ain't trying to hear.
09:47Get back, motherfucker, y'all don't know me like that.
09:49Get back, motherfucker, y'all don't know me like that!