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00:00♪♪
00:09♪♪
00:13Presenting Herb Schreiner!
00:16In the comedy quiz show, Two for the Money!
00:19Call it!
00:20You'll like them. Now let's get on with the show.
00:22And here's the star of our show, back from an eight-week vacation.
00:25Lucky stiff. Herb Schreiner, here he is!
00:27♪♪
00:40Hello.
00:42Well, I actually didn't have an eight-week vacation, to tell you the truth.
00:46I was traveling around the country.
00:48Wanted to get out and see a lot of you folks that have been watching our show.
00:52I was trying to catch up with some of the folks that have been enjoying it.
00:56Traveled clear across the country, and I finally found some.
00:59Had a small time.
01:01I traveled, well, I actually traveled 9,000 miles.
01:05Drove it. Drove the whole thing.
01:08Didn't mean to do that either. I was actually looking for a place to park, to tell you the truth.
01:12Going over to the other side of town when I started.
01:16But it's good to be back from a vacation.
01:18No matter where you go or how much fun you have,
01:21you really feel good to get back from a vacation.
01:23There's no doubt about it.
01:25Especially one without pay.
01:27It's amazing how you get lonesome.
01:30But I did get around the country a lot,
01:33and I was sort of tickled.
01:35I met folks in all the different states I visited,
01:38and folks that was smoking old golds.
01:40In fact, out in Los Angeles,
01:42it was just wonderful the amount of old golds that people have been smoking.
01:46Made me feel wonderful.
01:48They did.
01:50Oh, they're smoking them in Los Angeles.
01:52We landed out there.
01:53We come in by airplane,
01:54and they were smoking so many old golds,
01:56we couldn't see the land.
01:59But it makes you feel good.
02:00You get around and see a few people.
02:02We had quite a bit of fun.
02:04I almost missed the show tonight.
02:06After having all this chance to wander around the country,
02:08I come down on the subway tonight,
02:11and, well, I pretty near missed the whole show.
02:14I rode three stops past my station.
02:17It was a hot night, and I was stuck to some people.
02:23I tell you, we're back.
02:25Did you notice, by the way, when you turned us on tonight
02:27that we switched networks on you?
02:29We've switched to a new network.
02:31We're over here at CBS now,
02:33and, of course, it does feel good.
02:35It's a very modern network.
02:37They got modern studios here right up to the second.
02:40They have a lot of these giveaway shows.
02:43In fact, every seat's got a little hook on it there to hang your money on.
02:47Right up to date.
02:49I've had a...
02:50In fact, I've got a new suit for the new season.
02:52It's brand new.
02:54It's, uh...
02:55Well, it's not brand new.
02:56It's my old suit with, uh...
02:58Turned inside out, actually, is what I did.
03:02It needed turning, though.
03:03But anyways, I didn't notice I needed new clothes.
03:06I started noticing that the contestants wouldn't accept the money from me.
03:10So I decided I'd better get a new suit.
03:12So we're back, and we hope you're all with us,
03:14and you'll tell your friends when we're on now that we've changed time.
03:17So let's get started with Two for the Money, Ken.
03:19Who you got?
03:20♪
03:30Curb, I want you to meet our first two contestants to play Two for the Money.
03:33Mrs. Carlisle G. Ott, who is an assistant dean of women at Southern Illinois University,
03:37and Mr. L. Sherman, trustee from Los Angeles, California, who runs Barber Colleges.
03:41Oh, thank you, Ken. Thank you.
03:43I want to give you first a carton of king-size old gold.
03:47And, uh, would you like the big ones?
03:49King-size.
03:50All right. We have a...
03:51I'm trying to push the small ones here, but, uh, okay.
03:55Thanks a lot.
03:56And, uh, now we want to talk to Mrs. Ott for a minute.
03:59You're an assistant dean of women, huh, at the Southern Illinois University.
04:03Is that right?
04:04That's right.
04:05Let's see. How many students do you have over there?
04:07Well, we have approximately 2,000 men and 1,000 women.
04:11Twice as many boys as girls, huh?
04:13Having any trouble over that? Any...
04:15Well, no. We manage to keep the girls pretty well in line.
04:18I see. Keep the girls in line?
04:20Yes.
04:21I see.
04:22You'd think the boys would be standing in line the way them odds are there.
04:25Two to one.
04:26With a situation like that over there, you have to be pretty strict with them, don't you?
04:29Well, we see that the girls are in by a certain time every night.
04:32Once in a while they're a little late, though.
04:34I see. And I suppose you hear all kinds of excuses then, huh?
04:37Well, yes. They ran out of gas.
04:39They ran out of gas. They had a flat tire.
04:41The battery went dead or maybe the radiator boiled over.
04:44There's lots of them.
04:46I'd like to know where that place is. I'm going to open a garage out there.
04:49I think that's smart.
04:51Well, I'd like to...
04:52What happens when they come in late, by the way?
04:54Well, they're campused, which means they have to be in their room after a certain hour
04:58and cannot leave and cannot receive callers or take telephone calls.
05:02Hmm, boy. How long does it go on then? How long do they...
05:04Well, it depends on the offense.
05:06What's the biggest hunk of campus you ever gave one of them girls?
05:09Well, about three weeks one time.
05:11Three weeks. Boy, boy. Three weeks.
05:13I kind of hate to ask what she did.
05:17What did she do?
05:20Well, she was seen crawling in her window one night...
05:22one morning, rather, about 2 o'clock.
05:25Boy, I think how you'd have felt if you'd have seen her crawling out of the window.
05:28You'd have really felt bad, huh?
05:30Well, it sounds like it's interesting work.
05:33I want to ask Mr. Trustee a couple of questions.
05:36And you're a runner at Barber College, is that right?
05:38That's right, hon.
05:39I see.
05:40Maybe where I got my hair cut. Where is your place?
05:43In Los Angeles.
05:45One of those parts of town.
05:47You teach fellas to cut hair then, huh?
05:50We try to.
05:51That's the kind of barber I got. He's trying to.
05:55We had a fella back home, went to Barber College, and he was doing swell at it.
05:58He really was going great guns, and then he just flunked out...
06:02I think he flunked on ingrown hairs.
06:04I don't remember...
06:08What do you teach them fellas, anyway?
06:10I mean, how do they work? Do they practice on each other?
06:12Do they practice on you?
06:14No, they practice on people from the street.
06:17You see, the school is located in a section where the people sometimes become a little imbibed,
06:23and so they're not too fastidious about their appearance.
06:27I see.
06:28Boozehound-like, you mean?
06:31Well, that's all right.
06:33How do you get these fellas to come in the shop?
06:35I mean, do you just sprinkle a little bay rum on the chairs there, or what do you do?
06:39Well, I think it's mostly because the haircuts are free.
06:42Oh, yeah. Well, they're probably worth it, though.
06:44I mean, mine was, the one I got.
06:47But that's terrific.
06:48Well, I'll tell you, we had a barber back home there.
06:50He never went to Barber College.
06:52Well, he wasn't too good at it, actually.
06:54That fella was a...
06:56Well, he was a chicken farmer.
06:57You ever get any of them fellas in?
06:59He'd cut your hair, though.
07:00He had a swell way of doing it.
07:01He used to dip your head in a bucket of hot water,
07:04and he'd kind of rip the hair out.
07:09Oh, gosh.
07:10He was a dandy.
07:11That fella was only about that tall.
07:12He was one of the best.
07:13I mean, he wasn't the best barber, but he was quick.
07:16And it was cheap, very cheap.
07:18And he used to stand on a little box there, and he used to drink all the bay rum.
07:22We never could get any bay rum.
07:24We always thought he was putting it on our hair, and he was drinking it.
07:27And he'd stand on that little box, and he'd be cutting your hair.
07:29You couldn't get him to stop.
07:30You know, it was sort of bad.
07:32He'd be getting kind of drunk there, too.
07:35And when you felt you had enough haircut,
07:37you'd just have to kick the box out from under him.
07:42But anyways, we want to hear a little bit more about that barber college,
07:46but I'll tell you the truth.
07:47We want you to make some money,
07:48and we've got a fella here that sort of dishes out the money
07:51or helps us make sure we don't dish out too much, I guess.
07:54He's Dr. Mason Gross, and the doctor's over here now from Rutgers University.
07:59He's going to tell us how to play the game, so we're going to let him go.
08:02All right, Herb, the game goes like this.
08:04You ask the contestants three questions,
08:06and they give as many answers as they can in 15 seconds.
08:09But watch out for this buzzer.
08:11If they give a wrong answer or answer out of turn or repeat themselves,
08:14then I buzz.
08:16And that, of course, means that they are through for that round.
08:19Now, Herb, here's the first question,
08:21and it's worth $5 an answer to start off with.
08:23Okay, let's see what we got here now.
08:24Who wants to start?
08:27You'll start it?
08:28All right, here's the first one.
08:31One of the first things you might see on a visit to the nation's capital
08:34is the Washington Monument.
08:36So when the bell sounds, name as many as you can of the famous buildings
08:40and landmarks in Washington, D.C.
08:43Ready?
08:44The Arlington Cemetery.
08:47The Jefferson Memorial.
08:51The Capitol.
08:56The Senate Building.
08:58The House of Representatives.
09:01The Library, Congressional Library.
09:04You had six correct answers at $5 each,
09:06so in the next round, every correct answer will be worth $30.
09:10Applause
09:17They have a whole list of these landmarks here.
09:19Pentagon, Smithsonian, Treasury, Margaret Truman.
09:26Dr. Sneakin' Joke's in there on us.
09:29There are many animals that have only three letters in their name.
09:33When the bell sounds, the first person gives a middle letter of a three-letter animal,
09:37and the other one must name the animal.
09:40For instance, if the middle letter is L, the answer might be moose.
09:47I just want to see if he was watching us close.
09:49Well, the answer might be elk on that one.
09:51So are you all set and is all clear?
09:53Ready?
09:55A.
09:56Cat.
09:57O.
10:00Dog.
10:01O, again.
10:04Cow.
10:06O.
10:10Um.
10:13You had seven correct answers at $30 each,
10:15so in the final round, every correct answer will be worth $210.
10:20Applause
10:26Well, he got stuck on that O there.
10:28You were thinking of moose, I bet.
10:31Well, here's $210.
10:32We're off to a terrific start now.
10:34I guess you can make, what can they make?
10:36A couple thousand dollars here anyways.
10:38And when the bell sounds,
10:41name as many of the nations of the world as you can that have the letter T in their spelling.
10:47The nations with T in it.
10:49Ready?
10:50Portuguese.
10:51Turkey.
10:53Um.
11:07Say something.
11:09You had two correct answers at $210,
11:11giving you a grand total on our old gold scoreboard of...
11:15$420.
11:17Applause
11:30I believe him too.
11:31You know what, Ken?
11:32Who have we got to play to for the money?
11:34We have Miss Phyllis Capp, who runs a dancing school in Coral Gables,
11:37and Mr. Carlton Veeder, who comes from Cuddehunk Island in Massachusetts.
11:40Fine, thanks, Ken.
11:42Well, I want to give you a carton of old gold.
11:43That's the ones that Dennis just been talking about.
11:46We're going to give you the little ones.
11:48Of course, the box is longer. It makes up for it.
11:51I think.
11:52And Miss Capp, you're running a dancing school, huh?
11:55Yes, I do.
11:56Coral Gables, huh?
11:57How do you like that business?
11:58Oh, I love it.
11:59Imagine. What kind of dancing do you teach?
12:02I teach modern, ballet, tap, acrobatic, mambo, rumbo.
12:07Mambo?
12:08Yes.
12:09Is that the one where you wear your clothes out from the inside with a jiggle around there?
12:13Rumbo and all those.
12:15Where do you hold the dances?
12:17You got a little place like we had home up over the tattoo parlor, or what do you do?
12:21Well, not quite, Herb.
12:22I have a school of my own, and I also teach at the university.
12:26Oh, I see.
12:27Well, if you have these dances in a regular dance hall, then they don't make them dance outdoors or nothing.
12:32We always just have to have our dances in a street.
12:34We had a street dance.
12:35No.
12:36The dances are held at the studio or at the country club.
12:39I see.
12:40Something fancy.
12:41Yes.
12:42We had these darn street dances, and once in a while, they'd leave a manhole cover off.
12:45You know, it was awful.
12:46You'd be dancing with a girl, and it'd be gone, you know?
12:50We didn't mind that so much, but if we wanted to take them home, we'd have to go out on the edge of town
12:53and wait for them to come out the other end of the pipe.
12:58Well, this dancing is something.
13:00I've never been very good at it, although they did call me a kind of a dancing fool around home.
13:05I'll tell you the truth.
13:06I don't like to brag.
13:07Well, actually, when I get up on the floor, they'd say, look at that fool dancing.
13:10That's what they'd say.
13:13But I want to find out about Mr. Veeder here, too, before we get too far.
13:16You're from Cuttyhunk Island, huh?
13:19I see.
13:20It's Massachusetts, huh?
13:22Yeah.
13:23I see.
13:24Sounds like kind of a small spot up there.
13:25How many folks you got up there?
13:26Oh, ten families.
13:27Ten families?
13:28That's kind of lonesome there, isn't it?
13:30Yes, it is.
13:31You like living out there?
13:32Yes, I do, but sometimes I think that I could do better on the mainland.
13:40Better if you're living on the shore, huh?
13:42Mm-hmm.
13:43Are you married?
13:44Yes, with six children.
13:46You couldn't do no better on the mainland, I don't think.
13:48That's wonderful.
13:58I hope that they didn't get the storm up there last night.
14:00I guess everything's okay then.
14:02What do you do up there for a living?
14:04Oh, I'm a bass guide and do jobs for the town.
14:08Bass guide, huh?
14:10You're fishing up there, I see.
14:11What kind of jobs are you doing up there exactly?
14:15Well, for the town, I'm a tree warden and dog officer.
14:21The two jobs really go sort of hand-in-hand.
14:26While you're out there, you can handle both of them without tension.
14:30You can do them all in one trip.
14:31What's your job as dog officer?
14:32What is that?
14:33That sounds good.
14:34Well, I have a part-time job.
14:37One of my duties is to take care of any dogs that go mad.
14:44How many dogs you got?
14:45One.
14:48That'll make him pretty mad, I'll tell you that, if he's stuck there by himself.
14:53But, well, is there any questions at all or should we go on ahead with the game?
14:59I guess we'd better go ahead with the game.
15:01We got some questions here.
15:02Doctors have been leaning over here, ready to go with that first one.
15:05So let's see how much money we can make.
15:07And let's see what we get.
15:09Who wants to start out?
15:10I will.
15:11You'll start out?
15:12All right.
15:13Well, when the bell sounds, you, Miss Capp, must give the first and last letters of the name of a country,
15:20like I and Y for Italy.
15:24Then Mr. Veder is going to have to name a country that fits those first and last letters.
15:29You can go through as many countries as you can.
15:31Is it all clear?
15:32Ready?
15:34F-E.
15:36Spain.
15:39Sorry, I think they must have got mixed up.
15:40They've got to be the same country.
15:44He says F-E and you've got to give one that fits that same country.
15:46Let's start it over again.
15:47We'll do that over again because we're all mixed up.
15:49He's still thinking about that last, what I said about the mainland.
15:54All right.
15:55Ready?
15:58F-N.
15:59Spain.
16:01F-E.
16:02France.
16:05I-Y.
16:06India.
16:09I-Y.
16:10I'm afraid that'll have to be Italy with the example there.
16:12Yeah, that's too bad.
16:13I thought it was that.
16:14Anyway, Italy?
16:15Italy it'd have to be.
16:16All right.
16:17Well, we get off to a pretty good start in spite of us.
16:19Ready?
16:20How much did you get, Ken?
16:22We had five correct answers at $5 each.
16:24So in the next round, every correct answer will be worth $25.
16:28That's not a bad start.
16:35In fact, if you got any higher than that on the first round, well, we'd probably have to switch networks.
16:41$25.
16:42Now we can make a lot of money because we've got to think this real slow now.
16:45When the bell sounds, name as many words as you can that rhyme with house.
16:50This is it.
16:51House.
16:52Any word that rhymes with that.
16:53Ready?
16:54Mouse.
16:55House.
16:56Louse.
16:57Louse.
17:03Douse.
17:06Louse.
17:08I'm sorry, we had louse.
17:09It's too bad.
17:12Too many of those here.
17:13Let's see.
17:15Whoever makes up these questions, one of them, huh?
17:18How much did we make, Ken?
17:20We had five correct answers at $25.
17:22So in the final round, every correct answer will be worth $125.
17:28That's good.
17:35We can make well over $1,000.
17:38There are many words in the English language that have an ear in them.
17:42E-A-R.
17:44That is, they have the letters E-A-R together somewhere in their spelling, like pear.
17:49P-E-A-R.
17:50When the bell sounds, name as many words as you can that have an ear in them.
17:55Ready?
17:57Cheer.
17:58Spear.
18:00Cheer.
18:01Tear, did you say?
18:02C-H-E-A-R.
18:03Cheer.
18:05You don't mean that.
18:06You don't mean that.
18:07Start all over again.
18:08The doctor's in a swell mood tonight.
18:10Don't quibble with him.
18:12All right, we'll start all over again.
18:15He's just trying to make it hit.
18:16I've been away, you know.
18:18I promised to bring back some mustache wax from Indiana.
18:22All right, so we'll start over.
18:24Ready?
18:26Cheer.
18:27Ear.
18:33Tear.
18:34Rear.
18:36Near.
18:37Fear.
18:44Okay.
18:45You had six correct answers at $125, giving you a grand total on the all-goal scoreboard of $750.
19:02That was great.
19:04Wonderful.
19:05Ken, who have we got here?
19:06Herb, I want you to meet Mrs. Lillian Castamore, a housewife who lives on a farm, and Mr. Jerome Williams, who is an oceanographer.
19:14Oceanographer, wonderful.
19:18I'm trying to figure out if I got this word right.
19:19Is that a...
19:20That's right, oceanographer.
19:22Here's a carton of all goals for you while I figure out what the word means there.
19:26Carton for you there, mister.
19:28And I'm going to throw the game kind of into a cocked hat.
19:30I'm going to use the same questions over again.
19:32That be all right?
19:33That'll be fine.
19:34All right, doctor?
19:35I won't do it then.
19:36All right.
19:37Well, Mrs. Castamore, you're a housewife, huh?
19:40That's right.
19:41Live on a farm?
19:42Oh, yes.
19:43Big farm.
19:44That so?
19:45Where is your farm?
19:46In Augusta, New Jersey.
19:47Augusta, New Jersey.
19:48That's pretty interesting.
19:49And you'd never guess you'd be a farmer, would you?
19:51No.
19:52I see.
19:53You're an oceanographer.
19:55A couple more times I say this, I'll have you in some other business.
20:00That's fine.
20:01Well, I'd ask you a lot of questions about that, but I don't know enough about it to even ask you anything.
20:07Is there anything you'd like to ask me while we're at it?
20:10Well, we'd better play the game, because we just want to make sure you get a chance at it.
20:14Now, doctor, you got some nice, fat questions there?
20:16Start with that, then.
20:17Okay, here we are.
20:18Who'd like to start out?
20:20I guess I'll start.
20:21You'll start her off?
20:22All right.
20:23Oceanographer.
20:25If I knew what that meant, I'd know how good he was going to do with these questions here.
20:29You, Mr. Williams, must name a vegetable that grows above the ground.
20:34And then, Mrs. Castamore has got to name a vegetable that grows under the ground.
20:39Keep alternating above and below the ground as far as you can go.
20:43Is that pretty mixed up?
20:45Well, I'll ask you to name a vegetable that grows up above the ground and one under the ground.
20:49Ready?
20:51Tomato.
20:52Carrot.
20:53Lettuce.
20:54Beef.
20:55Cabbage.
20:56Potato.
21:04Shine, vegetable.
21:10You had six correct answers at $5 each.
21:12So, in the next round, every correct answer will be worth $30.
21:22That's not bad.
21:23That's a confused one there, too.
21:24I'll tell you, you did very good on that.
21:26And I think this one might be an easier one.
21:28In fact, it is.
21:29If you were to find a look, if you were to look at a map of the world,
21:32you'd find many places on it that have a color as part of the name, like Green Mountains.
21:39The Green Mountains.
21:40The Green Mountains.
21:41When the bell sounds, name as many places in the world, rivers, cities, seas included,
21:46that have a color as part of their names.
21:50Ready?
21:51Green Mountains.
21:52Greenland.
21:54Blue.
21:55Blue Hills.
21:57The Whiteface Mountains.
22:01Red Sea.
22:03The Blue Mountains.
22:10You had six correct answers at $30 each.
22:12So, in the final round, every correct answer will be worth $180.
22:23Well, we're off pretty good.
22:24You can make yourself, well, at least $1,000, according to my figures.
22:29And when the bell sounds, we want you to name as many words as you can that end in the letters G-L-E,
22:36like dangle and so forth.
22:39Ready?
22:40Dangle.
22:41Giggle.
22:42Wangle.
22:43Wiggle.
22:45Tangle.
22:49Uh...
22:55Did I say wiggle?
22:59You had five correct answers at $180, giving you a grand total on our old gold scoreboard of...
23:06$900!
23:09Yeah!
23:16Now, once again, it's time for Herb Schreiner, and here he is.
23:26Thank you very much.
23:27And we had a swell time tonight.
23:29We gave away $2,070.
23:32And, you know, in coming back, one of the big surprises that I got
23:35was to find out that the Pictorial magazine, Pictorial Review,
23:40the one that you get every Sunday, comes out tomorrow.
23:43It's got a wonderful big story in there.
23:45It shows pictures of the baby Indy and Pixie.
23:48In fact, the pictures are kind of nice.
23:50If you folks have a 10-inch screen, this will kind of give you an idea of what we look like.
23:54You can get the paper.
23:56And it's also kind of nice.
23:58I want to thank the Pictorial Review people for that plug.
24:01By the way, next Tuesday night, I want you to watch Indy's godfather, Fred Allen.
24:06He's coming back, your old favorite, my favorite humorist and wit.
24:10He's coming back for old golds on a new show, Judge for Yourself.
24:14And I hope you'll watch him next Tuesday night at 10 o'clock on that other network.
24:18Thank you very much. See you next week.
24:21♪♪♪