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00:00Tonight, live, it's the Friar's Club Celebrity Roast, guest-starring the Wahoo Gnu, Steed Martin!
00:12Wahoo! Hello! Oh, I'm so excited!
00:17Santa Claus! Ho, ho, ho!
00:20Rats-O-Rats!
00:22A scrawny chicken!
00:24And our own Roastmaster, Don Rattles!
00:28Were you born that silly?
00:30All here tonight to honor the animal of the hour, Jack the Easter Rabbit!
00:36Wow! Too much Easter Rabbit here!
00:40In person. He's hanging up his basket tonight. Retiring.
00:45That's not true.
00:46Is too. I read it in the paper. He's quitting.
00:52He can't do that!
00:59The time flies by so swiftly
01:03When you're having fun
01:05Delivering those Easter eggs
01:08But now my time is come
01:12Can't retire.
01:14I'm going up to the country
01:17My egg hunt days are through
01:19I'd like to quit while I'm ahead
01:22Like all good champions do
01:25So please don't worry about me, baby
01:27I'll be in good hands
01:29I'm packing up my basket
01:32To give someone else a chance
01:35Cause Easter's been very good to me
01:40So think of which of you it just might be
01:45I'll tell you quite confidentially
01:50Yes, Easter's been very good to me
01:55Yes, Easter's been very, very good to me
02:02I gotta stop this!
02:04You're an aardvark!
02:07So vark, aardvark!
02:12Jack, you know what you can do now to make ends meet?
02:15Wrench your front teeth out as a billboard.
02:19I'm gonna finish you off later, Jack,
02:21cause right now I wanna bring up the one and only Santa Claus.
02:28That's a nice tan, Santa. Where did you get it, Christmas Island?
02:30Thank you, Virginia.
02:33Thank you, thank you, thank you.
02:35Oh, you're beautiful, really.
02:37No, don't stop. Love you all.
02:39Now, there's a story that nobody knows.
02:43Thank you.
02:45And I think that it's fitting,
02:47here on the eve of Jack's retirement,
02:49to tell how the world got its one and only Easter rabbit.
02:53Now, Jack was born many years ago, in the spring.
03:01Get those rabbits!
03:03Come on, go get them!
03:08Hey, what's happening?
03:12Yo ma.
03:15Abandonned as a baby, he was rescued and raised by chickens.
03:26Whoops!
03:28Very early on, he realized that he was not like other chicks.
03:31Hop-push-a, hop-push-a, quick like a bunny.
03:36Hop-push-a, hop-push-a, quick like a bunny.
03:40So he tried never to forget that he was a rabbit.
03:46Though that didn't stop him from trying to please his adopted parents.
03:53Y'all keep trying, son.
03:55Christmas came, as it always does.
03:59And they were very happy.
04:02Christmas came, as it always does.
04:06And they were very kind to him, even though they were very poor.
04:33Oh no, Jack's present must have fallen out.
04:39I'll find it, ma.
04:41Don't worry, it's here, somewhere.
04:45Don't cry, mama.
04:49No, it's over there.
04:51I think it's over there. I see it.
04:54Ho ho ho, gotcha!
04:58Whoops!
05:02It's beautiful.
05:05Jack, what did Santa bring you?
05:09An egg, and I had to find it myself.
05:15That's what you get for living with chickens.
05:18C'est ça, c'est ce que tu as pour vivre avec des chiens.
05:22Oh mon dieu, quelle heure, quelle heure.
05:25Tu dois écrire à Santa et lui dire ce que tu veux.
05:28Mais Jack savait que le cadeau de l'œuf était spécial.
05:31Et je suppose qu'il pensait que j'étais assez spécial aussi,
05:34parce que je commençais bientôt à en entendre beaucoup.
05:37Hey Santa, merci pour l'œuf.
05:40Tu es génial, hein, tout le temps, mec.
05:45Christmas is past and Jack grew up, sort of.
05:49But he could never quite decide what he would be
05:52until one Easter holiday.
06:05I hate Easter holidays, they're so dull.
06:09Come on, Easter's just like Christmas.
06:12Where's your spirit?
06:14Right, oh sure, cluck cluck.
06:16Don't you know nothing?
06:18Christmas is for kids.
06:20Easter is for grown-ups.
06:22Yeah, all my Christmas toys are broken already, eh?
06:25You should have got an egg.
06:27Yeah, how about that egg?
06:30Jack knew they didn't mean anything by it.
06:33They were just bored.
06:35But he wanted very much to make them happy,
06:37make them his friends.
06:39So he made his decision to play Santa Claus.
06:45And though he had no money for gifts, he had plenty of eggs.
07:09Hop-cha, hop-cha, hop-cha, hop-cha, hop-cha
07:11And I ain't that funny, I say
07:13Hop-cha, hop-cha
07:15Y'all get up!
07:18And that Easter morning,
07:20all the children found something quite special.
07:24Oh boy, eh?
07:28I found an Easter egg.
07:30I found an Easter egg!
07:32Me too!
07:34Where do you think the Easter eggs come from?
07:37The egg-berry!
07:38The moon, eh?
07:39A very generous chicken?
07:41Nope.
07:42The Easter rabbit brought them.
07:44I saw him.
07:45Jack the Easter rabbit.
07:47Jack?
07:48Aw, Jack the Easter rabbit?
07:51And so Jack the Easter rabbit,
07:54well, he found his true path in life.
07:58And Easter became the kids' second favorite holiday.
08:03What do you mean, second favorite?
08:05What, do you think you're number one or something?