Fawlty Towers_ The best of Polly
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00:00Mr. Paulting. Yes? Can I have a word with you? Yes.
00:03Oh, this is Polly. She will be serving you later this evening.
00:06Ah. Well?
00:08It's Kurt. Yes?
00:10He's potted the shrimps.
00:13What? He's potted the shrimps.
00:16Shrimps? We're not having shrimps tonight, Polly.
00:19Now, would you... He's soused the herrings.
00:23What are you on about?
00:25He's pickled the onions
00:27and he's smashed the eggs in his cups under the table.
00:32Happy anniversary.
00:34Happy anniversary.
00:36Oh, dear.
00:39How are you feeling, dear?
00:42Oh, that's a shame.
00:44Yes, Mr. Paulting?
00:45I know these kind of drawings are considered decent at art school.
00:48Would you please not leave them lying around on display at the reception?
00:51I'll put them away when I've got some clothes on.
00:53I mean, bit.
00:54Waitress. Yes?
00:57There's a hare in my mousse.
01:00Well, don't talk too loud.
01:02Everybody will want one.
01:04What?
01:10Birdbrain.
01:12No, no, no, that came in third.
01:14Uh...
01:16Fishwife. What?
01:18No, no, not fifth.
01:20Small.
01:22Fly. Fly.
01:25Flying tart.
01:29No.
01:30No, no, it got off to a flying start.
01:33And its name...
01:35was Dragonfly.
01:40So, you see, we couldn't possibly manage it for at least three weeks.
01:44But if you want it done straightaway,
01:46I suggest you try someone like, uh...
01:48Oh, what's his name?
01:50It's, uh...
01:51O'Reilly?
01:52Bravo, Polly. Well done, Gilbert.
01:54Listen, where are you speaking from?
01:56She's in here with me, Basil.
02:00It was rude, Mr Fawlty. I said, rude!
02:02Well, I'm deeply sorry if it came over like that.
02:04I mean, nothing could have been further from my mind.
02:06You told me to shut up!
02:08No, no, he told me to shut up.
02:09He what?
02:10He said it to me!
02:11Oh, no, I was, uh, looking at you, but I was talking to Polly.
02:13Wasn't I, Polly?
02:14Oh, yes.
02:15Uh, did you notice then that I was looking at you, but talking to her?
02:17What?
02:18You see, he was looking at you, but talking to me.
02:20Wasn't he?
02:21Wasn't I.
02:22What?
02:23So you weren't being rude, were you, Mr Fawlty?
02:24Absolutely not.
02:25You see, me?
02:26Yes.
02:27Yeah, but if you say shut up to somebody, that's the one you want to shut up, isn't it?
02:29Well, not necessarily.
02:30I'm sorry, were you talking to me?
02:31Yes.
02:32I beg your pardon.
02:33Ah, there, you see how easily these misunderstandings occur?
02:35Oh, yes, I do.
02:36So, uh, one cheese salad, then, please, Polly.
02:38Certainly, Mr Hutcheson.
02:40Oh, Polly, I want to see you at reception in one minute in your hat and coat.
02:43I'm sorry?
02:44I want to see you at reception in one minute in your hat and coat.
02:46Will they fit you?
02:47No!
02:49You, you!
02:50I'm sorry about this.
02:51You can't really blame her.
02:52She doesn't have much in her life.
02:53She has to make her own entertainment.
02:54She has trouble with her arm.
02:56That's why she goes in the cupboard.
02:57Exactly.
02:58Are you feeling better?
02:59Her arm gets stuck there.
03:01It's always happening to her.
03:02He's dead.
03:03This is her husband.
03:04She hasn't got over it.
03:05He died 30 years ago.
03:06She doesn't mean any harm.
03:09In the cupboard.
03:10No more today!
03:11You've had enough!
03:12Oh, my God, look at that!
03:19Polly, what's that smell?
03:22Flowers.
03:23I just got them from the garden.
03:24Well, what are you stinking the place out with those for?
03:26What's happened to the plastic ones?
03:28They're being ironed.
03:31Now, farm carousel.
03:33Lamb?
03:34Casserole.
03:35Oh, sounds good.
03:36Does it come with a smile?
03:37It comes with sprouts or carrots.
03:39Oh, a smile's extra, is it?
03:40You'll get one if you eat up all your sprouts.
03:43We need another one of these.
03:44There is sugar on it.
03:45What a sweet place.
03:47What?
03:48I'll have it replaced.
03:49Well, why is there sugar in this salt, sir?
03:50What do you think we'd pay you for?
03:51My staying power.
03:54Oh, I see!
03:55Mr. Lehman!
03:56Yes.
03:58We thought you said the linen.
04:00Brilliant!
04:01Sorry, sorry, that's it.
04:02That's it.
04:03Look, she'll love it.
04:04She's German.
04:06No, Mr. Porter!
04:07What?
04:08Do Jimmy Cagney instead.
04:09What?
04:10Jimmy Cagney.
04:11Jimmy Cagney?
04:12You know, your dirty rhyme.
04:13I can't do Jimmy Cagney.
04:15Please try.
04:16Shut up!
04:17No, I'm sorry.
04:18I really don't.
04:19Oh, just a fiver.
04:20You can have it on approval.
04:21Sorry.
04:22It's for my sister's eye operation.
04:25You bastard.
04:26It's in a bag.
04:28Is your veal...
04:29In her bag.
04:30In her bag?
04:31What?
04:32Excuse me.
04:34Do you know where you're going to?
04:35Can you recommend a restaurant?
04:38Yes, of course.
04:39What sort of...
04:41Where is somewhere that serves really good veal, Polly?
04:43Somewhere in the...
04:44Veal, yes, of course.
04:45A really good restaurant.
04:47Wait just a minute because I do remember a place
04:49where I had some really good veal once.
04:52Only I just can't think of the name of it.
04:54It was...
04:56La-dee-da.
04:59Did you see Annie Hall?
05:01La-dee-da.
05:03Annie Hall.
05:04Are you blind?
05:05They were on my head all the time.
05:06Didn't you see?
05:07Yes.
05:08Didn't God give you eyes?
05:09Yes, but I don't use them
05:10because of where the batteries are.
05:13It's done.
05:14Done.
05:15Done.
05:16Done.
05:17It's on.
05:20It's done again.
05:23Give it to me.
05:24Give it to me.
05:27No, he just fell over Manuel
05:28and he seems to have got himself jammed
05:30over the swivel chair.
05:32And the flowers have just fallen on him.
05:34No, everything else is fine.
05:36He must have escaped, Mr. Paul.
05:37He didn't come back.
05:38Come back?
05:40They home.
05:42Oh, I see.
05:43He's a homing rat, is he?
05:46What are you doing, Polly?
05:47Just preparing some sausages.
05:50Bangers a la bang.
05:52How do you do?
05:53Well, wait a minute, wait a minute.
05:54We've met before, I think.
05:55Yes, I served you at breakfast.
05:56Oh, yes.
05:57And you spilt the grapefruit juice,
05:58didn't you, you naughty girl?
05:59And you moved the glass, didn't you?
06:01Thank you, Polly.
06:02You're an awfully nice girl.
06:03Very bright.
06:04She's a fully qualified painter, you know.
06:05Oh, really?
06:07Ah!
06:08He's dead!
06:09Very bright.
06:12Oh, my God.
06:13It's all right, Mr...
06:14Shut up, shut up.
06:15Oh, my God.
06:16Slap her, slap her, slap her.
06:17Once she's hysterical, slap her.
06:18Murder!
06:19Slap her!
06:20Murder!
06:21Slap her!
06:24Oh, spiffing.
06:25Absolutely spiffing.
06:27It isn't going to work.
06:28What's the matter?
06:29What's the matter?
06:30I'm not doing it.
06:31You want to be in a Marx Brothers film,
06:32that's your problem.
06:33I'm not interested.
06:34Not interested?
06:35No.
06:36This is all your fault.
06:37My fault?
06:38You set to say she was ill.
06:39You were the one who invited them to come up here.
06:40I didn't want to.
06:41You be Sybil.
06:42You get into the bed.
06:43I'm too big.
06:44I've got a moustache.
06:45What's this supposed to be, a very big, hairy bogey?
06:46It's something you get when you're puffed up.
06:47I'll ruin you.
06:48You'll never waitress in Torquay again.
06:49Waitress?
06:50That's a joke.
06:51I help out at reception.
06:52I clean the rooms.
06:53I deal with the tradesmen.
06:54I mend the switchboard.
06:55I change the fuses.
06:56And if you think my duties now include impersonating members of your family,
06:57you have got one more screw loose than I thought.
06:58Basil.
06:59Basil.
07:00Basil.
07:01Basil.
07:02Basil.
07:03Basil.
07:04Basil.
07:05Basil.
07:06Basil.
07:07Basil.
07:08Basil.
07:09Basil.
07:10Basil.
07:11Cheeseies.
07:12Basil.
07:13Yes.
07:14Here I am.
07:15Oh, hello Mr. Foley.
07:16Oh, that's for me, is it?
07:18Shall I get you some more?
07:19There's plenty.
07:20He's called Basil is he?
07:21Don't play dumb with me.
07:22I trusted you.
07:23You're responsible for this.
07:24Oh, I've got a friend who'll look after him, Mr. Foley.
07:25Just.
07:26I can't be prissy and quaint.
07:27How can I be when I ain't?
07:28I can't be when I ain't.
07:29I can't be when I ain't.
07:30I can't be when I ain't.
07:31I can't be when I ain't.
07:32I can't be when I ain't.
07:33I can't be when I ain't.
07:34greasy and quaint. How can I be what I ain't? I can't say no.