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00:00:30© BF-WATCH TV 2021
00:01:00© BF-WATCH TV 2021
00:01:30© BF-WATCH TV 2021
00:02:00Why don't you leave him one of them bees, Pat?
00:02:03What for?
00:02:04He might settle on Hank and wake him.
00:02:07He's lazy and a toad to hibernate.
00:02:10He ain't lazy.
00:02:12He's just been laying so long, he's too tired to get up.
00:02:21There'll be two of them.
00:02:30© BF-WATCH TV 2021
00:02:35© BF-WATCH TV 2021
00:02:40© BF-WATCH TV 2021
00:02:43Anybody got some tobacco wrappings?
00:02:51There'll be some reading paper.
00:02:54© All Rights Reserved
00:02:57That must be the Bush-hiding Cooper, the revenuer.
00:03:01What are these lines all about, Cindy?
00:03:04They're telling her...
00:03:07that this money will ruin all the stills.
00:03:12Imagine getting it to other places.
00:03:14I'm going to move it so Snuff can see it.
00:03:18Snuffy sure ain't givin' them revenuers no comfort.
00:03:23I recollect the time he put a hornet's nest in Cooper's car.
00:03:27There was a sting in him and he was as speckled as a guinea pig.
00:03:31Them revenuers are just a-pinin' to get their hands on Snuffy.
00:03:34You ain't needin' to be a-frettin'.
00:03:36They's just shat a-huntin'.
00:03:38Snuffy sure ain't givin' them revenuers no comfort.
00:03:43I recollect the time he put a hornet's nest in Cooper's car.
00:03:46You ain't needin' to be a-frettin'.
00:03:48They's just shat a-huntin' when they's a-lookin' for Snuffy.
00:03:51Cause he be up on the point of eagle-eyein' him out.
00:04:06Mr. Carson, you're sure discomboburatin'.
00:04:13And a-takin' my dream away.
00:04:15Just when I was gonna shoot me that revenuer.
00:04:30Three calls, revenuers!
00:04:42Hey, Wilson, Wilson, you hit me right in the face with that.
00:05:09I'm sorry.
00:05:11I'm sorry, Chief. You go first.
00:05:14All right, all right.
00:05:16Come on, now, let's go.
00:05:20Hey, Wilson.
00:05:21Oh, Wilson, come here.
00:05:23You know, you're a very nice guy, and I like you very much,
00:05:26and you're very polite,
00:05:28but if you hit me in the back with another branch again today,
00:05:31I'm gonna break every bone in your body!
00:05:33Quiet, quiet. They might hear us.
00:05:36Come on.
00:05:37Well, you've been trying to catch that little fella for months.
00:05:39What's the hurry now?
00:05:40Say, I gotta catch him today.
00:05:42Uncle Sam wants me on another job tomorrow.
00:05:46Copa, why do you hate that little mountaineer?
00:05:48Now, look, I don't hate him, but I should.
00:05:53He's been making a monkey out of me for months.
00:05:55Not only that, but he's ruined my record with the boss!
00:05:58Quiet. Come on, they're yours.
00:06:03Snuffy, don't be a throwing lip till you know you can't miss.
00:06:11I hate to be a spy in store-bought clothes,
00:06:15but I gotta stop that revenue.
00:06:27They're shooting cats.
00:06:29This is the last straw.
00:06:31Let them have it, boys.
00:06:40Let's go.
00:07:10Hey!
00:07:33Hey, Wilson! Wilson!
00:07:38What happened, boss?
00:07:39They ain't fightin' fair.
00:07:40They're shooting hardware.
00:07:41Get this off my neck.
00:07:42Get it off.
00:07:43Get it off.
00:07:44Oh.
00:07:46That is the only gun I ever seen
00:07:47who would kill him and bury him at the same time.
00:07:50When that thing echoes, you sure
00:07:52gonna spoil a heap of timber.
00:07:54Oh!
00:07:55Hey!
00:07:56Oh!
00:07:57Hey!
00:07:58Oh!
00:07:59Oh!
00:08:00Oh!
00:08:00Oh!
00:08:01Oh!
00:08:02Oh!
00:08:03Oh!
00:08:04Oh!
00:08:05Oh!
00:08:06Oh!
00:08:07Oh!
00:08:08Oh!
00:08:15Time's a-wastin'!
00:08:19Luigi!
00:08:23Table of metals!
00:08:39Come on, woman.
00:08:40Quit stallin'.
00:08:41What a-railin' your pa?
00:08:42Bees in your breeches?
00:08:43Revenuers.
00:08:44Did they catch the steel?
00:08:46No, the bodacious steel just weren't even in smelling range.
00:08:51Well, I guess we lost him.
00:08:52What do we do now?
00:08:56Oh, no, we haven't.
00:08:58We'll let Snuffy's dog take us to his camp.
00:09:00He's got a gun.
00:09:01He's got a gun.
00:09:02He's got a gun.
00:09:03He's got a gun.
00:09:04He's got a gun.
00:09:05He's got a gun.
00:09:06He's got a gun.
00:09:07He's got a gun.
00:09:08He's got a gun.
00:09:09He's got a gun.
00:09:10He's got his gun.
00:09:11He's got his gun.
00:09:13We'll let Snuffy's dog take us to his cabin.
00:09:15Come on, boys.
00:09:16Go on!
00:09:17Go on.
00:09:18He'll be out parcin' these new revenuers, too.
00:09:22Don't ever be forgettin'.
00:09:23They'll catch ya.
00:09:27Was there a travelin' peddler here while I be gone?
00:09:30No, there wasn't.
00:09:31Old Tom Elby's son will buy.
00:09:34Don Elby?
00:09:35Why he come back?
00:09:38He be a love-sickling for Cindy.
00:09:39Balls of fire.
00:09:41If old Saul ever catches Don Elby a love-making to his Cindy,
00:09:45they'll be a killing.
00:09:47Why don't they be calling this feud off?
00:09:49They're tired 1313.
00:09:52Yeah, not counting the hogs and porks going up.
00:10:02This must be Snuffy's cabin.
00:10:06I'm sorry, Mr. Carson, but I couldn't wait.
00:10:08He was too slow.
00:10:10Here.
00:10:10Here's a nice piece of meat for you.
00:10:16Now, easy.
00:10:17Ain't one thing that'll take a man and a dog's appetite away,
00:10:21but a revenuer.
00:10:23You wait here.
00:10:25Where's Snuffy Smith?
00:10:26How would he know?
00:10:29Well, we saw him today.
00:10:30You be seeing my Snuffy?
00:10:32Yeah.
00:10:33There he well.
00:10:35How does he look?
00:10:36Awful.
00:10:37Our crutch is stalling.
00:10:38Whose place is this?
00:10:40Us hill folks.
00:10:41All of us.
00:10:42All of us.
00:10:43All of us.
00:10:44All of us.
00:10:45All of us.
00:10:46All of us.
00:10:47All of us.
00:10:48All of us.
00:10:49All of us.
00:10:50All of us.
00:10:51All of us.
00:10:52All of us.
00:10:53Us hill folks always sat an extra place
00:10:55for people what gets lost.
00:10:57Take a seat in here, Pa.
00:11:00Oh.
00:11:02Come on, crawl out of there, Smith.
00:11:07Hey, come on out or I'll start shooting.
00:11:10Oh, you won't, huh?
00:11:16Oh, he bit me.
00:11:17He might have bit you, but you ain't tasty.
00:11:25Hey, give me the slip.
00:11:26There's a hole under the bed.
00:11:31Well, he's not out here.
00:11:36Oh, I just saw that corn shop move.
00:11:38I know the liquor up here is potent.
00:11:40But don't tell me that the corn itself is strong enough to walk.
00:11:45Don't tell me.
00:11:46I didn't see it move that time.
00:11:47Whoa.
00:12:01Oh, boy.
00:12:02What is that?
00:12:03It looks like a body.
00:12:06What is that?
00:12:07What does it look like?
00:12:08For you to embrace.
00:12:10Now, what kind of lạiing do you think
00:12:11she wore out here with her dress, smoke off?
00:12:13Oh, man.
00:12:14Always.
00:12:15All kinds of everything.
00:12:16Oh, my God, this is awful.
00:12:18Hey.
00:12:27Gardenia.
00:12:40Don Albee, I sure be glad to see you.
00:12:44But you hadn't ought to be coming here.
00:12:46You're pretty as a redbird.
00:12:48Your plums grouch is too, Don.
00:12:51Are you a general?
00:12:54Nah, just a buck private, Cindy.
00:12:56What's in love with you?
00:12:58That's the way I'd be a-feeling, too.
00:13:01I wish your pa favored me.
00:13:04He won't be doing that till the fusion's over.
00:13:07Hey, by the way, where is he?
00:13:09I'd be a-leaving him a-guarding the liquor still.
00:13:12One of them new revenuers has been pestering around.
00:13:16You suppose he'll feel different about us
00:13:18now that I'm in the army?
00:13:19Oh, in a can, what you'd be a-doing?
00:13:22If he'd be seeing a Nelby, and you're a Nelby,
00:13:25he'd be a-shooting.
00:13:27Yeah, maybe.
00:13:29But he can't keep me from loving you.
00:13:32That'd be nice word-making, after you'd done seen
00:13:35all them powdered city women.
00:13:41What you'd be a-having in the package?
00:13:44Well, that's the range finder that I
00:13:45made in technical school.
00:13:49Oh, that here weird-looking.
00:13:52What's it?
00:13:53With this, you can shoot a cannon as straight
00:13:55as you can a squirrel gun.
00:13:57Why you'd be a-taking it?
00:13:58I'm taking it to the army.
00:14:00And honey, when they buy it, we'll get married,
00:14:04and I'll dress you up like a peach tree in bloom.
00:14:06Will you?
00:14:08Maybe a long time.
00:14:10Oh, it ain't no matter.
00:14:15I'm still a-hankering for you.
00:14:19Are you?
00:14:20That'll do.
00:14:47Oh, snappy smith.
00:14:48Balls of fire! Since when are you becoming a revenuer?
00:14:52A revenuer? This is the army uniform.
00:14:55I thought you was another revenuer.
00:14:57They'd be up at my cabin, and I'd be coming here to hide.
00:15:02Hey, uh...
00:15:05Who'd the army be a-feuding?
00:15:06Ain't been no Indians in these parts for more than 50 years.
00:15:10No, we're not fighting Indians. I enlisted to help Uncle Sam.
00:15:14Mm-hmm.
00:15:16Mm.
00:15:18Gold buttons. I bet they'd be a-costin' you a heap.
00:15:21Oh, no, the government gives them to you.
00:15:22Mm.
00:15:24Ooh, khaki breeches, too.
00:15:26Yeah.
00:15:27Ain't they workin' you hard?
00:15:30Ain't you gettin' your vittles?
00:15:33No, the government gives you all you can eat, and they let you sleep all the time.
00:15:37A place to bed, gold vittles, gold buttons,
00:15:42khaki breeches, and...
00:15:46Ain't you gettin' your smokins?
00:15:48No, but they pay you 30 a month, and you can buy them.
00:15:52Snuffy, I bet they'd be a-needin' you up at the still.
00:15:55Nope.
00:15:56So they're standin' by, I hopes.
00:16:00Ha-ha!
00:16:01You'd be the first L.B. I ever see alive in Saul's cabin.
00:16:06Ha-ha-ha!
00:16:09You ain't livin' long.
00:16:11Be a-lowerin' your gun, Saul.
00:16:13Don's a-comin' to take me to the army.
00:16:16You be goin' alone, because I'm a-sendin' him to the graveyard.
00:16:20What do you take me for, Don?
00:16:24Time's a-wastin'!
00:16:30Come on, get in, Snuffy. I'll drive you home.
00:16:32No, I can't be goin' home.
00:16:35Revenue is a-guardin' my house.
00:16:38I wonder if Saul'll be a-hardin' me out.
00:16:44No, still mad at me.
00:16:48But, Jeepers, I'm a-joinin' the army with you.
00:17:00Company, dismissed.
00:17:08I'll be a-bouncin' a raffle ball off your pumpkin head.
00:17:12Why can't I get in there?
00:17:14Now, look, I've been tellin' you for a week.
00:17:16I can't let you in this army camp.
00:17:18Well, who do I have to see to get in there?
00:17:21Oh, go see the general.
00:17:23Well, I've been over the...
00:17:24Now, come on, get out of the way.
00:17:27I'll be a-joinin' the army with you.
00:17:29I'll be a-bouncin' a raffle ball off your pumpkin head.
00:17:32Why can't I get in there?
00:17:34Now, look, I've been tellin' you for a week.
00:17:36Now, get out of the way.
00:17:50Yes, yes, yes.
00:17:52General Rosewater speaking.
00:17:54Hi, General.
00:17:56Take a seat.
00:17:57I'm a-hearin' you're needin' some good shootin' men for the army.
00:18:01I'll bein' the best squirrel shooter in the new United States.
00:18:05And me and old Tombstone will be a-fightin' you a war.
00:18:08And all I'm askin' is a place to bed,
00:18:12vittles, gold buttons,
00:18:15$30 a month, and khaki breeches.
00:18:18How did you get in here?
00:18:20Corporal to the guard.
00:18:21Sergeant to the guard.
00:18:22Off to the day!
00:18:28Hey!
00:18:30The revenuer!
00:18:31Snuffy Smith!
00:18:32Friend of yours, eh, Sergeant?
00:18:33Well, not exactly.
00:18:34How'd you get in here?
00:18:35I...
00:18:36So you never been!
00:18:37Well, get him outta here!
00:18:38Yes, sir!
00:18:39Huh?
00:18:40Uh, yes, sir.
00:18:41Come on.
00:18:46Stay out.
00:18:52Bounce this off your pumpkin head,
00:18:54then I'm goin' home.
00:18:56Bounce this off your pumpkin head,
00:18:58then I'm goin' home.
00:19:09I'm the waitress.
00:19:11Are you hurt, General?
00:19:12Where's that little civilian?
00:19:14The one that went through my legs.
00:19:15He run down the road.
00:19:16Take a detail and find him and bring him back to me.
00:19:18Yes, sir.
00:19:19And don't come back without him.
00:19:27Pa!
00:19:29Be openin' this can for my soap makin'.
00:19:50Pa!
00:19:52Pa!
00:19:53Pa!
00:19:54Pa!
00:19:56Pa!
00:19:57If you'd taken your rifle gun down,
00:19:59you'd have got into that army.
00:20:04Pa!
00:20:06Be a-bustin' up my paddle for kindlin' wood.
00:20:09Sure I'll be.
00:20:11I'll be learnin' you to keep kindlin' cut.
00:20:26Part of it's gone.
00:20:52Pa!
00:20:53Pa!
00:20:54Oh, balls of fur!
00:20:55What the tarnation you're doin'?
00:20:57I just be a soapstern and it whoop!
00:21:00Well, get on with your soap makin' and leave me be.
00:21:08Pa!
00:21:09Some evil spirits done drink up my soft soap!
00:21:12Now, easy.
00:21:14You be givin' me more trouble than the revenuers.
00:21:18Hey, be sure you're makin' it like you always be.
00:21:21Uh-huh.
00:21:25Well, I...
00:21:47You know, the...
00:21:49You know, the...
00:21:52You know, the...
00:21:57I'm-a puttin' it in the pot and it taint.
00:22:01I'm-a puttin' it in the water and it tears.
00:22:08It be spirits you should be havin'.
00:22:10It ain't nothin' at all but hog fat and lye.
00:22:12What you done you ain't been doin' afore?
00:22:14I was stirrin' it with your gree-gree-grandpappy's wooden leg.
00:22:18Well, made of coca-cola wood.
00:22:20Why be?
00:22:21Disappearin' in the soap.
00:22:23Can I be gettin' another one?
00:22:26How?
00:22:27Grandpappy got that when he were a pirate and with Captain Kidd.
00:22:31And I do be hearin' that the sea done swallowed up Coca-Cola Island.
00:22:36And ain't no more like it.
00:22:38Ain't he got a Sunday leg?
00:22:40Oh, they buried him in that one.
00:22:44Why?
00:22:46Thou is he!
00:22:51I'll be disappearin' the still.
00:22:55Paintin' like.
00:22:57Be a-savin' every drop of it.
00:23:08Here come the revenuers!
00:23:21Are you gettin' lost again, revenuer?
00:23:24Never mind that. Where's Snuffy?
00:23:26I wouldn't be knowin'.
00:23:28Take a look under the bed.
00:23:29Ah, my house is a bit upset. It bein' worst, eh?
00:23:44Hey, you're gonna shoot me, Mr. Army Man.
00:23:47Hey, you're gonna shoot me, Mr. Army Man.
00:23:50Cause I got my buryin' place all picked out.
00:23:53Up there.
00:23:55I got orders to return you to the commanding general of the 10th Army Corps.
00:24:03Oh, thou is he. Quit toddlin' up and makin' yourself a weaklin'.
00:24:14Come on, Mr. Parson.
00:24:16Wait a minute. You're not takin' that dog with you.
00:24:18Well, any place I go, that dog goes.
00:24:20This is one place you're goin' that that dog's not goin'.
00:24:24I'll be a-puttin' him in the house.
00:24:26Come on, Mr. Parson.
00:24:27And leave the door open.
00:24:29Fetch me a jug of drinkin' liquor.
00:24:31Come here, Mr. Parson. Come here.
00:24:33And you be doin' a blackout. I air-covin' you with spirit juice.
00:24:47Goodbye, thou is he.
00:24:56Be rememberin' me as I am.
00:25:04Mr. Parson.
00:25:16Come on.
00:25:36So you found him, eh? Good. Leave him with me.
00:25:39That's all, Sergeant.
00:25:41That's all, Sergeant!
00:25:43That's all, Sergeant!
00:25:47Now look here, General.
00:25:49If you're gonna bounce a rifle ball off my head, do it quick.
00:25:54Rifle ball?
00:25:56I wanna talk to you. You're a hero. Sit down.
00:25:59A hero?
00:26:03For risking your life to save me from that runaway motorcycle.
00:26:06Then you're gonna be a-lettin' me live?
00:26:08Certainly. And I wanna reward you for it.
00:26:11Is there something I can do to make you happy?
00:26:13Well, General, I...
00:26:15I likes khaki breeches,
00:26:18a place to bed,
00:26:20gold buttons,
00:26:22good vittles,
00:26:24and $30 a month for my smokin's.
00:26:28You still wanna get into the Army, eh?
00:26:30You sure I understand it.
00:26:32General, would you be havin' a gurgle of corn drippins?
00:26:38Corn drippins?
00:26:40Yeah. We're comin' from old steel.
00:26:43Liquor? Never touched it in my life. It's not allowed around here.
00:26:47Well, would you be havin' a chore eatin' tobacco?
00:26:50No, thank you.
00:26:52Uh, Mr. Smith, would you mind taking your feet off my desk?
00:26:56I'll be a-doin' it.
00:26:58But I thinks better with them over my head.
00:27:01Now, how about them khaki breeches?
00:27:04You're a little short for the Army.
00:27:06Now, if there's something else that, uh...
00:27:08General, while I be comin' from,
00:27:11folks be a-keepin' their promises.
00:27:13Hmm. Hmm.
00:27:16Hmm.
00:27:22Hmm.
00:27:26I've got it!
00:27:27General!
00:27:29You're so sudden, you done scared me.
00:27:31Somewhere in regulations there's a classification
00:27:33which permits you to wear a uniform.
00:27:35But the pay is only $21 a month.
00:27:37Do I still be gettin' my khaki breeches?
00:27:40$21 a month and khaki breeches.
00:27:43General, you got yourself a soldier.
00:27:46Hmm. Hmm.
00:27:52I be makin' a heap of other sounds, too.
00:27:55Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi.
00:27:57Eep!
00:27:58Ah!
00:27:59Eep! Eep! Eep! Eep! Eep!
00:28:01Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
00:28:03Just a moment.
00:28:07Yes, sir?
00:28:08I'm sending over Stubby Smith.
00:28:10Enlist him under special classification Z.
00:28:12B as in Barks?
00:28:13No, Z as in Zanuck.
00:28:16All right, Smith.
00:28:17Report to the quartermaster for your, uh, khaki breeches.
00:28:21General, with me helpin' ya,
00:28:23things are gonna be a-changin'.
00:28:25Two heads, all the swore better than one.
00:28:27Hmm. Hmm. Yeah.
00:28:30Eep! Eep! Eep!
00:28:33Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
00:28:35Eep! Eep! Eep!
00:28:45Would you be a-readin' where I to go?
00:28:49Hey, a thief?
00:28:51A corn squeezer.
00:28:54How'd you get in the army?
00:28:56I be a friend of the general.
00:28:57Give me that car.
00:28:58Me hurry and the general might be needin' me.
00:29:00A yard bird, huh?
00:29:01You're not workin' for the general, you're workin' for me.
00:29:03But the general...
00:29:04Never mind about the general.
00:29:05I'm givin' orders around here.
00:29:07I'm running this place.
00:29:08Nobody can tell me anything.
00:29:10Attention!
00:29:11Suck in your stomach.
00:29:12Throw out your chest.
00:29:13Put your heels together.
00:29:14Salute!
00:29:15That's the way to be a soldier.
00:29:17Eep!
00:29:18Just a minute.
00:29:19Just a minute.
00:29:20You've been a side of my company.
00:29:22From now on, you take orders from Sergeant Cooper.
00:29:25Do you understand?
00:29:26Balls afar.
00:29:28Takin' orders from a revenuer.
00:29:30Now go find yourself a cot and report to the company kitchen.
00:29:34Just follow your nose across the street.
00:29:41Keep comin', Mr. Carson.
00:29:45Oh, did I step on your paw?
00:29:47Come on, fuzzy tail.
00:30:04Whistle.
00:30:21Hey, snobby.
00:30:22I thought you were still on kitchen police.
00:30:24I do be.
00:30:25But I'm beddin' up for a spell before I be mess makin'.
00:30:28Still manicurin' those potatoes?
00:30:30I've been doin' that for a flock of days.
00:30:32But I ain't doin' a woman's work no more.
00:30:34You better not let Cooper catch you here.
00:30:36Cooper?
00:30:37That bodacious, edged-air eloncay.
00:30:40Hey, what are you doin' here?
00:30:42I'll be arrest takin'.
00:30:43Now, look, Yardbird Smith, I've tried to be nice to you.
00:30:46I've tried to cooperate with you.
00:30:48But if I catch you arrest takin' again,
00:30:50I'm gonna throw you in the guardhouse!
00:30:54You're comin', Mr. Carson.
00:30:57Whistle.
00:31:00My mother told me there'd be days like this.
00:31:04Looks like a rangefinder.
00:31:06Yeah, it's an improved rangefinder.
00:31:08One I perfected in college.
00:31:10What's different about it?
00:31:11Well, it's automatic.
00:31:12You focus the two prisms on a given point,
00:31:14and by turning the adjusting screws
00:31:16until the images are superimposed,
00:31:18you get an automatic reading in yards on the scale
00:31:21without any mathematical figuring.
00:31:22Hmm, that makes sense.
00:31:24You done anything with it?
00:31:25Hmm.
00:31:26Can't even get anyone to look at it.
00:31:29Well, if it's as good as you say it is,
00:31:31I'll take it to the general for you.
00:31:33Do you think he'll be interested?
00:31:34If he's interested in anything,
00:31:35it'll help him win those maneuvers from General Hopkins.
00:31:37Who's General Hopkins?
00:31:38Well, General Hopkins is the commander of the Blue Army.
00:31:41He's an old campaigner.
00:31:42A hard general who's fought all these battles
00:31:44from a swivel chair.
00:31:46With blue prisms.
00:31:47Well, if accurate artillery fire will help him win,
00:31:50this rangefinder will do it.
00:31:51You know, this is his first chance to prove his theories
00:31:54with real soldiers and actual military.
00:31:56Say, if it does work,
00:31:57do you think he'll submit it to Washington?
00:31:59Submit it?
00:32:00Well, he'd take it there himself.
00:32:01Say, if the White Army wins
00:32:03and the general can submit a proven rangefinder,
00:32:06boy, he'll retire happy.
00:32:08Here she is, Sarge.
00:32:09Focus it on an objective.
00:32:20Did you pick out a target?
00:32:22I certainly did.
00:32:26Why don't we see the general?
00:32:31Look, soldier.
00:32:32These hammocks are reserved for officers.
00:32:34I ain't being an officer.
00:32:36I'm a yard bird.
00:32:37Get going.
00:32:38Oh, swallow.
00:32:41Why?
00:32:42Now that'll teach him a lesson.
00:32:43That'll dr...
00:32:45Oh, oh, I'm sorry, sir.
00:32:47What's the meaning of this, Sergeant Cooper?
00:32:48Oh, I didn't mean it, sir, I'm sorry.
00:32:50That's no excuse.
00:32:51No, sir.
00:32:52We go to my quarters at 3 o'clock.
00:32:54Yes, sir.
00:32:55Oh, oh, my.
00:32:57I'm sorry, sir.
00:32:58That's no excuse.
00:32:59I'm gonna go to my quarters.
00:33:03Oh, boy.
00:33:04Oh, boy.
00:33:07Three o'clock. Yes, sir.
00:33:19Can I be of help in your revenue?
00:33:30Rangefinder is correct in theory.
00:33:33Needs an actual field test to prove it.
00:33:35Well, why don't you try it at maneuver, sir?
00:33:37That's a good suggestion.
00:33:39Maybe just what I need to defeat General Hopkins.
00:33:41The old fox.
00:33:44You take charge of it, Sergeant.
00:33:45Watch it carefully.
00:33:46I'll call for it later.
00:33:49That'll be all.
00:33:50Very good, sir.
00:33:51Thank you, sir.
00:33:53Another thing, Sergeant.
00:33:57I wish to compliment you on the high morale of your company.
00:34:00Men from all the other outfits are going to be transferred to yours.
00:34:02To what do you attribute that?
00:34:04Well, General, my theory has always been
00:34:07that an army travels on its stomach.
00:34:09And I personally see to it
00:34:11that my kitchen crew makes them happy.
00:34:13Very interesting. Let's go down and inspect your kitchen.
00:34:16Now?
00:34:16Certainly now.
00:34:17Oh, but...
00:34:18No buts. Come, Sergeant.
00:34:20Oh, General! General!
00:34:29When Uncle Sam sent out the call for soldier boys
00:34:32especially to defend our country with a ridge to tea
00:34:35it seems their chance to be in the hills of Tennessee
00:34:39a loyal lad whose caller name was Smith
00:34:42Since Snuffy Smith gined up, he's now a yard bird
00:34:45a little guy, but my, he's such a hard bird
00:34:49Don't ever get yourself mixed up with Snuffy in a tiff
00:34:52or you may find you're being flung bodaciously off on the cliff
00:34:55if you should see a pretty face with naught behind it
00:34:59She's wasting time with Snuffy, so I heard
00:35:02Now, thuddy bucks is riches when you're wearing khaki breeches
00:35:06hooray, hooray for Snuffy Smith, the yard bird
00:35:09Since Snuffy Smith gined up, he's now a yard bird
00:35:12and Bull's a fire cousin, he's a card bird
00:35:16The General and the Sergeant and the other guys with braids
00:35:19are apt to have a rifle ball bounce off on their pumpkin heads
00:35:22even a varmint-sized bug out like Trump done tugged frogs
00:35:26The shiftless gonks, emotion Snuffy stirred
00:35:29He ain't one of our flunkies, he's the captain of our donkeys
00:35:33hooray, hooray for Snuffy Smith, the yard bird
00:35:36Since Snuffy Smith gined up, he's now a yard bird
00:35:39When evening rolls around, he's sure a tard bird
00:35:43You'd think he'd hit the hay and rest, but he's in town because
00:35:46he's seen a gal with pretty eyeballs and such rosy jaws
00:35:49Was he a hypodor when brains was passed out? No, sir
00:35:53He signs the finest X, but mums the word
00:35:56I swow, he will be faded, don't be discombobulated
00:36:00hooray, hooray for Snuffy Smith, the yard bird
00:36:20What is this?
00:36:21It's a still, General
00:36:23I'm just cooking up another batch of corn drippings
00:36:25Another batch?
00:36:27Yeah, they'd be drinking it faster than I can make it
00:36:30So this is what goes on in your company, huh?
00:36:32Well, I didn't know
00:36:33It's your business to know
00:36:34I put yard bird in your charge
00:36:36Take him out and make a soldier of him
00:36:40Get out of here
00:36:41Get out of here
00:36:43The boy's gonna be powerful and sorry without their liquor
00:36:47Get out of here before I break you
00:36:49Give me that
00:36:51Get out of here
00:36:56Get out of here
00:37:07Think I'll pass for a soldier?
00:37:09I don't know, that salute's pretty phony
00:37:11I'll get by
00:37:12Well, you'd better
00:37:14if you're caught impersonating a soldier 20 years
00:37:17Look, it's worth the risk if we get that range finder
00:37:20Well, I talked to the hillbilly and I talked to Cooper
00:37:22Your shorts in Cooper's office?
00:37:24Well, he's got it. Where else could it be?
00:37:26I'll get it. See you when I get back
00:37:28Keep your eye on those civvies
00:37:30Okay
00:37:31Undoubtedly, gentlemen
00:37:33you understand how much these maneuvers mean to me
00:37:36As to when and where we hold them is up to Washington
00:37:39Whether we win will depend a lot on the type of country we operate in
00:37:43Upon what do you base your theory?
00:37:44The Blue Army has twice as many tanks as we have
00:37:47Yes, but we offset that with artillery
00:37:55And incidentally, one of the men has perfected a range finder
00:37:58which looks like a great improvement over the present one
00:38:01How does it differ?
00:38:02It has an automatic range calculator
00:38:04I'd certainly like to see that
00:38:06I knew you would. I've sent for it
00:38:25With a tank moving at 35 mph
00:38:27you can see how important automatic range calculation would be
00:38:30With a tank moving at 35 miles an hour, you can see how important automatic range calculation
00:38:53would be.
00:38:54Yes?
00:38:56Sergeant Cooper reporting with the range finder, sir.
00:38:59Send him in.
00:39:03Put it right over there, Sergeant.
00:39:09Gentlemen, the new Jenner Rosewater range finder.
00:39:13When you have this, you practically have the range.
00:39:19Oh, it was here the last time I saw it.
00:39:24What does this mean?
00:39:25Oh, I can't help it.
00:39:27Sergeant.
00:39:28Yes?
00:39:29Unless you have that range finder's maneuvers, you'll be court-martialed for negligence,
00:39:34insubordination, and conduct unbecoming a soldier.
00:39:38Is that all, sir?
00:39:39Yes, and sabotage.
00:39:41Pack your stuff and get out of here.
00:39:42Yes, sir.
00:39:43I'm going.
00:39:44I'm sorry, sir.
00:39:55Yes, sir?
00:39:56Cancel all leaves and close the gate.
00:39:59I'm sorry, gentlemen.
00:40:00I'm sure they'll locate the range finder.
00:40:05Now as to the maneuvers, I don't know what the strategy board will decide, but I'm in
00:40:10favor of holding the maneuvers in the Ozark Mountains.
00:40:12The water is pure, the weather is ideal, and it's rough country.
00:40:16Water?
00:40:17Mountains?
00:40:18I don't know what the strategy board will decide, but I'm in favor of holding the maneuvers
00:40:21in the Ozark Mountains.
00:40:22Mountains?
00:40:23Rough country?
00:40:24Water?
00:40:25Mountains?
00:40:26Rough country?
00:40:27That air sounding a heap like hootin' holler.
00:40:28And again I say...
00:40:29Now just a minute, General.
00:40:33If you are looking for rough country and fitting weather, the Great Smoky's be it.
00:40:39What's the meaning of this, Yardbird Smith?
00:40:41Now don't be a-stoppin' me.
00:40:43That air my home place.
00:40:45I know every bend and crook in that river and every holler what's got a still in it.
00:40:51Yardbird Smith, attention!
00:40:53Don't be so bossy.
00:40:55You're like my grandpappy, all the time a-givin' words.
00:40:59Snobby, you've exhausted my patience.
00:41:02I've done everything possible to make a soldier out of you, but you'll never make it.
00:41:07I'm a-comin' down here and you're sendin' me home.
00:41:10You're sendin' men up to farchin' me back.
00:41:13You put me in the kitchen and then you chucked me out.
00:41:16You put me in khaki breeches for a-savin' your life.
00:41:21Be this a nice way to treat a hero.
00:41:28You know where I'm comin' from, a man a-knowin' by his word.
00:41:31Because they can't write.
00:41:33But I'm forgivin' you everything.
00:41:35I'm still your friend.
00:41:37And if you ever be a-needin' me, just be sendin' me three calls to the whippoorwill.
00:41:47Halt. Where do you think you're going?
00:41:50I'm goin' uptown.
00:41:51That's what you think.
00:41:53All leaves are canceled.
00:41:59Time's a-wastin', what are we waitin' for?
00:42:03Let's make haste and don't get this soldier sore.
00:42:06I'll bounce a rifle ball off every punk and hated critter.
00:42:10Got me mad, I'm gettin' madder, gimme my gun, my jogger licker.
00:42:13Time's a-wastin', hear the bugle call.
00:42:16Let's make haste and get Sparkplug from his stall.
00:42:19Cause if we hitch him to Louise, we can lick the varmints easy.
00:42:23Time's a-wastin', what are we waitin' for?
00:42:28Let's go over to B Company.
00:42:44We ain't appreciate it round here.
00:42:47I done been workin' like killin' snakes.
00:42:50And the general ain't our friend no more.
00:42:53That rain barrel cooper, all that's a-bossin' about, he.
00:42:57All right, Mr. Carson.
00:42:59Catch.
00:43:02You know, twenty-one dollars and khaki breeches are all right.
00:43:06But I'm a-hankerin' to look into your big brown eyeballs again, partner.
00:43:12Yes, sir.
00:43:21I'm a-hankerin' to look into your big brown eyeballs again, partner.
00:43:25Yes, sir.
00:43:32Tryin' to make friends with Mr. Carson?
00:43:36Who's Mr. Carson?
00:43:38Yeah, my dog.
00:43:40Yeah, right here.
00:43:44Mr. Carson, be a-speakin' to him.
00:43:50Mr. Carson, jump up on him.
00:44:02Now look, if you think you can kid me...
00:44:16Us a-goin' back home to Louisie, Mr. Carson.
00:44:23Hello, Shorty.
00:44:25Hello.
00:44:26Goin' someplace?
00:44:28I be a-goin' home.
00:44:29Where do you live?
00:44:30I live in Hooten Holla and the Great Smoky Mountains.
00:44:33They won't let you out. The gates are locked.
00:44:35I been a-gettin' away from revenue all my life.
00:44:39Ain't no soldier what can stop me now.
00:44:42How you gonna do it?
00:44:43That'll be in my business.
00:44:45Take me with you, will ya?
00:44:47No, I ain't a-hankerin' to help no soldier.
00:44:50Travelin' there like huntin'.
00:44:53You'd be better off alone.
00:44:56By jeepers, I near forgot my jug.
00:44:59Where is it?
00:45:01That'll be none of your business.
00:45:03All right, Shorty, I'll roll your pack for you.
00:45:17You sure my tacky breeches are in there, soldier?
00:45:20They sure are.
00:45:21Say, how you gonna get to Hooten?
00:45:24How you gonna get to Hooten Holler?
00:45:26I'm a-walkin' down till I come to the end of the road.
00:45:29I'm a-turnin' into a wagon road.
00:45:31And I'm just keepin' walkin' till I gets there.
00:45:33Are you sure you're goin'?
00:45:35I'm goin' as far away from this army as I can get.
00:45:38And when I gets there, I'm a-stayin'.
00:45:51Listen now and get this straight.
00:45:53I can't get out.
00:45:55But I put the range finder in Snuffy Smith's pack.
00:45:59He's walkin' down the main road leading to Hooten Holler.
00:46:03Hooten Holler.
00:46:06Pick him up in the car and get that pack.
00:46:17Do you mean to tell me that you can't locate that range finder?
00:46:20Yes, sir. I've turned the place inside out, sir.
00:46:22What else can happen?
00:46:24I plot the games for the Ozarks.
00:46:26And the war department puts them in the Great Smokies.
00:46:28And you lost the range finder.
00:46:30Yes, sir.
00:46:31It's a fine finish for me.
00:46:33Yes, sir.
00:46:37Yardbird Smith knows that country.
00:46:39Send him to me.
00:46:40You send him home, sir.
00:46:42It's the last straw.
00:46:43You don't need Yardbird Smith.
00:46:45I was a revenue officer in that country.
00:46:48Really?
00:46:49I've chased Yardbird Smith all through those mountains.
00:46:52Did you ever catch him?
00:46:53No, sir.
00:46:56I still want Yardbird Smith.
00:46:58You want me to get him?
00:46:59Yes, sir.
00:47:00That'll be all, sir.
00:47:04Oh!
00:47:20Hiya, soldier.
00:47:22Howdy, miss.
00:47:24Want a ride?
00:47:25Well, I ain't be carin' if I do.
00:47:28Dead end.
00:47:29Yep.
00:47:39Aren't you going to take that pack off?
00:47:41No.
00:47:44You'd be much more comfortable without it.
00:47:46It air just like leanin' my back up again a tree.
00:47:50Oh, come on, beautiful.
00:47:52Take that pack off.
00:47:54No.
00:47:57Don't.
00:47:59Please don't.
00:48:02Don't, missy!
00:48:05Oh!
00:48:08Oh!
00:48:12Oh!
00:48:18Don't!
00:48:20Please don't!
00:48:22Don't, missy!
00:48:24Help me, Mr. Carson!
00:48:26Oh!
00:48:29Spider!
00:48:31Ah!
00:48:33Something bit me.
00:48:38Come back here!
00:48:49The, uh, done quit the army, like, uh, quit workin' the field?
00:48:54No, it's just like crawlin' out of the jailhouse.
00:48:57How come?
00:48:59Well, they got some robbers there, what the army calls filth commies.
00:49:03And they done locked the gates for the kachum.
00:49:06Why don't you be a-huntin' and a-shootin' them?
00:49:09They'd be lookin' like ordinary folks.
00:49:12You might even be snuff-dippin' with one of the vomits and not be a-knowin' it.
00:49:20Mr. Carson, appears to me like you've been ghostin' around long enough.
00:49:26Oh!
00:49:34Appears like Mr. Carson done take on a little weight.
00:49:44Better get tombstone loaded.
00:49:46Here come the biggest hawks ever did see.
00:49:49I'll open the henhouse door and let the chickens in.
00:49:52Oh, them ain't hawks.
00:49:54They're the army flyin' machines.
00:50:02Here come the revenuers. Thicker than blackbirds in the spring.
00:50:05Oh, you not be knowin', woman.
00:50:07Them's not revenuers.
00:50:09Them's United States soldiers.
00:50:11What are they doin' here?
00:50:12They's maneuverin'.
00:50:14Now, don't ask me what that be.
00:50:20This is a very strategic spot.
00:50:22Who's in position directly below now, Balbo?
00:50:24Company 8, Captain Robinson commanding, sir.
00:50:27No rangefinder. Stupid sergeant.
00:50:30Smokies instead of the Ozarks.
00:50:32No yard bird.
00:50:34Lieutenant, can you whip a will?
00:50:37Can I whip a what, sir?
00:50:39Hmm. Oh, you know, uh...
00:50:47That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.
00:50:49Lieutenant, you go all through these hills
00:50:52and keep repeating that call as loud as you can until further orders.
00:50:55Have Captain Robinson report to me and assemble my staff.
00:50:58Yes, sir.
00:51:12That be the general, and he be a-needin' me.
00:51:20Hmm.
00:51:25Yard bird Smith!
00:51:27I'm a-seein' you took my advice.
00:51:29Yours in the war colors. Am I glad to see you.
00:51:32Oh, who we be a-fightin' in this war?
00:51:34The Blue Army.
00:51:35By the way, you haven't got your white armband on.
00:51:38Huh? I thought you done been hit by a rifle ball.
00:51:41All our men are wearing white armbands.
00:51:44We're defending this country.
00:51:45The Blue Army's tryin' to capture it from us.
00:51:47Oh, I'll be a-bouncin' a rifle ball off their pumpkin head
00:51:50while that Blue Army be.
00:51:52Just a minute, Yard bird. You can't use that gun.
00:51:54We're not shooting real bullets.
00:51:56Well, if I can't be a lead spittin', I ain't a-fightin'.
00:51:59Come, come, Snuffy. I'm counting on you to be my chief scout.
00:52:01Well, I'll be hidin' old tombstone under the bay.
00:52:11I want to see Captain Robinson.
00:52:13Jumpliers declared all the officers of Company A out of action.
00:52:16I am the company commander.
00:52:17You're the company commander?
00:52:18Yes, sir.
00:52:19That's right.
00:52:20Hold the fire!
00:52:22Yard bird.
00:52:24I've appointed Yard bird Smith my chief scout.
00:52:26He knows this country better than anybody else.
00:52:28You'll take your orders from him.
00:52:30Wait here. I have some special instructions for you.
00:52:35Now, men, you understand the rules.
00:52:37Any object hit with flower is out of action.
00:52:40All decisions made by the umpire are final.
00:52:44If you're hit with flower, you're officially dead.
00:52:47And when you're dead, you're dead.
00:52:52Audacious idgits.
00:52:54General Rosewater killed in action at 850.
00:52:59I know, but now here's the...
00:53:00Uh-huh.
00:53:04What were those special instructions?
00:53:06Look, I'm dead and I can't say a thing.
00:53:08If I were alive, I'd say one thing.
00:53:10If the White Army could hold the top of that hill, they'd win the maneuvers.
00:53:13You want us to be going up low?
00:53:14I can't answer that. I'm dead.
00:53:16Yeah, that's what he means.
00:53:17Well, if you're dead, why ain't you laying down?
00:53:20Oh, look, when you're hit with flower, you're dead.
00:53:23The general was hit with flower and he's dead and he can't do a thing.
00:53:26He can't?
00:53:27No.
00:53:29Oh, wait a minute. He's not that dead. Put it back.
00:53:35Come on, rain barrel. Time's a-wasting.
00:53:39Did you forget something?
00:53:41Oh, you're dead.
00:53:44Don B. letter writing that his invention was stolen.
00:53:48Who B. had taken it?
00:53:49A barman, what had been called a fifth columnist.
00:53:53Jumping Jaybirds. That be what Snuffy B. talking about.
00:54:06What's the matter now?
00:54:07I knew you did B. forgetting. I can't take you up on the nob.
00:54:10Why not?
00:54:11You're still a revenuer inside.
00:54:13Oh, but things are different now. I'm in the army.
00:54:15If I'd be taking you up, you'd be no in the way.
00:54:17You'd come back and make trouble for my friends.
00:54:19You want the general to win, don't you?
00:54:21Sure. He's my friend.
00:54:23Well, a general can't win unless he gets to the top of that hill.
00:54:26Oh, I was thinking of Saul and the boys.
00:54:30Look, I'll make you a proposition. Take me to the top of that hill.
00:54:33I'll let all your friends go free, providing you break the still.
00:54:37All right, but I'll be doing it for the general.
00:54:43Hey, you fellows over there.
00:54:54That was close.
00:54:55Ain't you been telling me all the time them was wax rifle balls they'd been using?
00:55:00What's your feed on?
00:55:01Say, if those were wax bullets, the B's must have been eating concrete.
00:55:08That ought to be Saul and the boys are shooting at us.
00:55:11They'd think we're revenuers.
00:55:13And they're using real bullets, too.
00:55:15Yeah.
00:55:16They think us revenuers. They not knowing about the maneuvers.
00:55:19Hey, now, look it.
00:55:21You're being a friend of the general who said you could get us up there.
00:55:24Now, go on. Get us up there.
00:55:31Ain't nobody but can get up there are wearing khaki breeches.
00:55:35Well, come here.
00:55:45Tell your men the Blue Army's objective is to capture Nauvailable before the White Army occupies it.
00:55:55Spread out, men. Somebody's using real bullets.
00:55:58Balls of fire, you shiftless ghosts. Can't you see it's me?
00:56:01What do you be a-meaning bringing them revenuers up here?
00:56:04Them ain't revenuers. Them's United States soldiers.
00:56:07They still be government men.
00:56:09United States soldiers ain't revenuers.
00:56:12The soldiers be a-shooting at the revenuers with the blue rags on their arms.
00:56:17You'll be a-meaning the blue rags is revenuers?
00:56:20Yeah, and we's a-trying to keep them away from this still.
00:56:23Sure's a mess of them blue rags.
00:56:25You wantin' my friends to help you?
00:56:27We be a-needin' them, but we brought out a rifle ball.
00:56:30Well, stop fretting.
00:56:32Can't you see they's a-flotchin' up a heap of rifle balls and fancy-shootin' arms?
00:56:38I be a-knowin' he's a revenuer.
00:56:41He was, but he's seen the light.
00:56:44He's a plume-change character.
00:56:46Well, you're gonna have to teach him a lesson.
00:56:49He's seen the light. He's a plume-change character.
00:56:52Well, you gonna help us put up the blue rags?
00:56:54Oh, sure I am. I mean, I sure am.
00:56:56Don be a-letter tellin' that Snuffy be actin' taged.
00:57:01What he be doin'?
00:57:03He be a-talkin' to and a-feedin' Mr. Carson.
00:57:06When Mr. Carson want that.
00:57:10He want that, but they want to seein' him.
00:57:13I'll be tellin' you the secret if you promise you won't tell Snuffy.
00:57:17I won't promise him.
00:57:23There be Mr. Carson.
00:57:27There be the joke.
00:57:37It was a work of the devil.
00:57:44Where's Snuffy Smith?
00:57:46He be out there with his friend the General.
00:57:49Well, here's the pack where I put the range finder, Janie.
00:57:51You leave that be. That there be Snuffy.
00:57:54Oh, no, you don't.
00:58:00Mr. Carson, hear me talk.
00:58:02What is this?
00:58:04I told you there was a dog.
00:58:07It be dog invention.
00:58:09You be one of them filth-cow-mers my Snuffy be a-talkin' about.
00:58:12I'm gonna take you two filthy stumps to my man.
00:58:15Get goin'. Get!
00:58:25Range 2,600.
00:58:32You missed, Sergeant.
00:58:36Range 2,100.
00:58:39You missed, Sergeant.
00:58:54You missed, Sergeant.
00:59:09Sergeant!
00:59:14Britney!
00:59:20You're dead.
00:59:26You're dead.
00:59:30You're dead.
00:59:32Hey, what's goin' on here?
00:59:38You're dead.
01:00:05I'm dead.
01:00:08I'm dead.
01:00:20Mr. Soja, you be tell me where my Snuffy be.
01:00:23I'm sorry, madam, but I'm dead.
01:00:25Whose ghost do you be?
01:00:27Look, General, this old gal's batty.
01:00:29I'm takin' these two filth-cow-mers to my Snuffy.
01:00:32What have they done?
01:00:34They be takin' Don's invention.
01:00:36It's too late, but if I weren't dead, I'd say they're on top of that peak.
01:00:39What you believe, mister?
01:00:41Be a track-maker.
01:00:43You ain't dead, you're just hard.
01:00:45Come along.
01:01:00We're practically surrounded by the Blue Army.
01:01:03What a spot for my range finder.
01:01:05Anything would help.
01:01:07You've only got two hits so far.
01:01:10Oh, I hate umpires.
01:01:16This here army gun ain't no good.
01:01:18I put a bead on them and they ain't a-pullin'.
01:01:20Sir!
01:01:23I knowed I was a-beadin' them.
01:01:36Hey, this ain't no place for a woman, folks.
01:01:38If you're goin' home, you'll be okay.
01:01:41Get the tripod. Get over here.
01:01:43Look out of the way. Get this thing set up. Come on.
01:01:52Range 600.
01:01:54Range 600.
01:01:59Direct hit.
01:02:06Range 825.
01:02:08Range 825.
01:02:24Direct hit.
01:02:26Let's go.
01:02:28Range 632.
01:02:31You just put the entire Blue Army headquarters out of action.
01:02:35Boy, this thing sure works.
01:02:37Yeah, I knew it would.
01:02:51I'm a dead pigeon.
01:02:55Come on, let's try something hard.
01:02:57What?
01:02:58Look, look.
01:03:01Elevation 3200.
01:03:03Elevation 3200.
01:03:11Direct hit.
01:03:13Chief umpire declares armistice to reorganize Blue Army
01:03:16due to accuracy of artillery fire from Nabelbo.
01:03:21Hey, what you doin' to my friend the general?
01:03:29He be helpin' me bring in these two filth cums.
01:03:34He be tryin' to take my khaki breeches.
01:03:38Take him away.
01:03:47You'd be very proud of your wife.
01:03:49I do be. She's worth her weight in hog livers.
01:03:59You were right about that range finder.
01:04:01I'll send a complete report to the war department.
01:04:03Thank you, sir.
01:04:04I knew you'd win the war.
01:04:06Gosh, honey.
01:04:16How far up was that flying machine?
01:04:193200 feet.
01:04:21Was that far up being a tellin' what aim the gun?
01:04:25Yeah.
01:04:26Elby?
01:04:28The feudal.
01:04:56Oh.
01:05:26Ha, ha, ha.