The Great Indian Kapil Show Season 2 Episode 01 21st September 2024
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00:00You
00:30Oh
00:37Namaste, Adab, Sat Sri Akal, very good evening and welcome to The Great Indian Couple Show Season 2
00:45Welcome to our new season
00:47This season we will celebrate India and entertain the whole world
00:51Because for celebration, there is no country like India in the world
00:55There is a mood of celebration for the whole year
01:03You see, the New Year celebration starts on 31st December
01:08And some people can't even celebrate 1st January
01:11Because they party so much on the night of 31st that they get bail on 6th
01:19So some people's calendar starts on 6th January
01:23And if you see in that calendar, there is a line of holidays
01:27Lodi, Sankranti, Holi, Eid, Easter, Rakhi, Janmashtami, Navratri, Diwali, Christmas
01:33And the person reaches back to the New Year celebration
01:38There are holidays for all religions and festivals
01:41There are holidays for all great men like Jayanti
01:43Great men didn't take holidays on their birthdays
01:46They worked to build the country
01:48But we were taking holidays that day
01:51And we used to message each other
01:53Remember, you won't get it tomorrow
01:55Keep it today
02:02If you compare it with the whole world
02:04India has the highest number of holidays in a year
02:07And even after that, our country is progressing
02:10It means that we Indians are so efficient
02:13That we work more in less time
02:15We give good results
02:18You can go to any country in the world
02:20You will find Indian doctors everywhere
02:22It's a matter of pride
02:23And more than that, when they fall ill
02:26They go to India to get their treatment
02:28Because the treatment is cheap here
02:30The amount of money you spend on one tooth
02:32Here, a person can get both of them changed
02:36And the rest of the money is taken by Shilajit
02:41Because you all know that after a while
02:44Surjeet, Daljeet, Baljeet don't come to work
02:46Then Shilajit comes to work
02:52By the way, being cheap is India's biggest quality
02:55The amount of money you spend on one city in Europe
02:58You can spend half of it on India
03:00True
03:01So that no one thinks our country is expensive
03:03That's why we have kept our money cheap
03:07We give 84 rupees in a US dollar
03:12This is something else
03:13Some of our shopkeepers sell things for 10 rupees in 90 rupees
03:16And make the difference between a dollar and a rupee
03:20How much is it?
03:21One pani puri is 100 rupees
03:23100 rupees?
03:24Yes, sir
03:26There you go
03:27Yes, sir
03:28On the other hand, there are people in the country
03:30Who are giving free food to people all over the world
03:34There is no one greater than us in human service
03:44By the way, we all say that we are the sons of the country
03:47But it's not like that
03:48We have some sons-in-law who throw garbage anywhere
03:55For such people, Swargi Atal Bihari Vajpayee had said
03:58That we have set foot on the moon
04:00But we have not yet learned how to walk on the ground
04:08Look at the legacy of our India
04:10No matter where you go in the world, you will find a few forts
04:13But in our country, no matter which state you go to
04:15There are only forts
04:17Our kings have built forts
04:19Just like we don't make a family group on WhatsApp
04:23I have heard of a couple of kings
04:25Who had 50 rooms in their palaces
04:27And the same number of queens
04:29So the poor guy would fight with one wife and escape
04:31And in the other room, the wife would come out again
04:35Welcome, sir
04:36How did you remember us today?
04:38I had already entered
04:43Many of our palaces are being used for weddings
04:46People from abroad come here for destination weddings
04:49Because they also feel that
04:51Where hundreds of weddings of kings have been held
04:53At least one of ours will be held
04:55In the last few days, Mr. Ambani's son got married in the country
04:58Bahubali film went on for three months
05:00His wedding went on for eight months
05:03It was such an expensive wedding
05:05People were eating food in silver utensils
05:07Someone was telling me that they were seasoning lentils with gold
05:10Of 24 carats
05:11Yes, it's true
05:12The people who ate the lentils
05:14They were confused
05:15Should they go to the washroom or the jeweler the next day?
05:20Dinesh had also gone with Mr. Amitabh
05:23He drank 12 bowls of lentils
05:26I said, why so much?
05:27He said, I want to make a gold pot
05:29I said, why so much?
05:30He said, I want to make a gold pot
05:35You should have told the lentil seller to just season the lentils
05:41When we get married, middle class people
05:43My brother-in-law and uncle were upset
05:45That we didn't get paneer for the wedding
05:47We didn't get a photo with the bride
05:49They don't have such a problem
05:51They had a different problem
05:52We got a photo with Chunky Pandey
05:54But we didn't get Kim Kardashian
05:59In India, family is very important
06:02The Germans made a bike for two people
06:05Our people made a trolley for 12 people
06:10Sometimes you see a bike like this
06:12You can't see the bike
06:13You feel like people are flying
06:18The police get confused when they see a bike like this
06:21Should I ride a bike or a mini bus?
06:24Stop!
06:30India's people are very emotional
06:33And the most emotional comes from the mother
06:37In a film, Mitabh Bachchan says
06:39I have money, property, business
06:41He says all this
06:42And Shashi Kapoor says, I have a mother
06:45End of story, end of scene, end of film
06:48All the unemployed mother's sons are happy
06:51That we have a mother
06:53No one knows who has a father
06:57All the emotions come from the mother
07:00Care like a mother
07:01Sweetness like a mother
07:03Food cooked by a mother
07:05If you go to a restaurant, all the food is cooked by a father
07:08Father!
07:12Even the lentils are cooked by a mother
07:14Have you ever heard of a father's chickpeas?
07:18Mother's lentils
07:19No one has heard of a father's bharta
07:21He cooks it every day
07:23Sometimes he cooks for his wife, sometimes for his kids
07:25Yes, he cooks bharta
07:26But no one says anything
07:27Even shoes are not sold in the name of a father
07:31The thing is, if there was no fear of a father's shoe
07:34Then we wouldn't have been reformed today
07:36All of us would have been sons-in-law
07:37Oh brother!
07:39Why are you distributing knowledge?
07:41Did someone ask for it?
07:44Do your job of comedy, of laughing
07:48And if there is less laughing, keep more laughing
07:52What are you looking at?
07:53I will hit you with my teeth
08:00Okay, as the public wishes
08:02So Mr. Arsena, let's start our season 2
08:05I will go and check if our guests are okay
08:07And I will also go and change
08:08You can also do it
08:09You look beautiful
08:13What is this procedure?
08:14No, no sir
08:15You can't go
08:16There are already four people at our airport
08:18We will have to check
08:20Nikhil, go on
08:23Sir?
08:25Such a big underwear?
08:27I didn't expect you to wear such underwear
08:31Do you think this is mine?
08:32Look sir, I make pictures larger than life
08:35I don't wear underwear larger than life
08:37Really?
08:38Yes, confusion
08:40Madam, you tell me, which brand are you wearing?
08:44Gucci
08:45Are you wearing Gucci?
08:47Only Gucci, and you should know that
08:49That's true
08:50There is some confusion, this is not his
08:52This?
08:53Cobra
08:54Cobra, okay
08:55Which brand is this sir?
08:56How do I know? It's not mine
08:59It's not yours?
09:00No
09:01Cobra
09:02Really?
09:03Are you okay?
09:04I am okay, but I found out
09:06Your bag has been exchanged with someone
09:08Oh no
09:09And the one with whom it has been exchanged
09:10I know, I will take you
09:12Come sir
09:13You are coming?
09:14You are our guest
09:15Sir, how are you roaming around with a bag?
09:17But this is not mine
09:19I will take you
09:20Please, come
09:21Oh God, this ridiculous situation
09:27Actually how I am looking
09:29Pinky boy
09:30Changing clothes twice in a day, I am feeling so good
09:34Our guests can come here anytime
09:36So guys, are you ready?
09:37Yes
09:39Welcome, welcome sir
09:44Welcome Alia
09:45Welcome, welcome, welcome
09:47Good, good, good
09:48Welcome sir
09:52A big round of applause for Karan sir and Alia
10:09What welcome are you saying Kapil?
10:11What do you mean by welcome?
10:13Is this how you welcome your guests?
10:15Do you know what has happened to me because of you?
10:17Sir, he is that guy
10:19Who is this skinny witch?
10:20What are you doing with them?
10:23Yes, my own son
10:24Anyway
10:31You are trending in 192 countries
10:33Yes
10:34You have such a big show
10:35You are world wide famous
10:36Thank you sir
10:37What are you doing with your guests?
10:39What?
10:40What has happened to us
10:41Are these my underwears?
10:42Yes
10:45I know size matters but not this big
10:51Tell me
10:52In 192 countries
10:53Yes
10:54This guy who is trending
10:55He brings his underwears from the station
10:57I am coming in 192 countries
10:58Should I start wearing lingerie?
11:03You have such a big house
11:05Why have you brought this 2BHK?
11:10But Karan sir also wears it
11:11He wears branded underwear
11:12He doesn't wear underwears like you
11:14He wears branded underwear
11:15I don't wear Khanda
11:17This is my grandfather's
11:18I love this underwear
11:19Oh God Kapil
11:22I just took it off
11:24I told you not to improvise
11:25This is your last episode
11:31Whatever happens
11:32Like Karan sir got films in Virasat
11:34Alia got acting
11:35I got this
11:37Whatever her grandfather had
11:38He gave it to her
11:40You get out of here
11:42My bag
11:43Where is his bag?
11:44His bag is in my car
11:45Okay
11:46My bag is in my car
11:47His bag is in his car
11:48Okay
11:49Now bring the bag
11:50And put your face in the juicer
11:52And get beetroot juice
11:53Like this
12:03Karan sir and Alia
12:04Welcome you both
12:05Thank you
12:06We are celebrating India
12:07And you know
12:08In India
12:09We take care of our relations
12:11We also take care of the things
12:12Which are related to them
12:13Dinesh is on the guitar
12:15Yes
12:16Red guitar
12:17He has taken care of his grandfather's denture
12:21He eats normal food with his teeth
12:22When halwa puri is made
12:23He eats it with his grandfather's teeth
12:24Why?
12:25He says grandfather will also like it
12:26He used to like it
12:30Once grandfather came out of the photo
12:32He said if you had fed me while I was alive
12:34Why would I have died?
12:40Karan sir
12:41I thought this film Jigra
12:43Is about a brother-sister relationship
12:45In which Alia protects her brother
12:48I didn't know you were also a hero in it
12:50Me?
12:51I am not a hero in the film
12:52Then what is this?
12:54Your current look
12:55My current look?
12:56I have come for my Miss Briganza
13:08Because
13:09Whenever you see her face
13:12You know she comes
13:13Miss Briganza
13:14Aha
13:15Aha
13:17So now I have come as Aha
13:19Of Miss Briganza
13:20You are looking very handsome sir
13:23You all know that
13:24Karan sir launched Alia
13:26And his bonding is amazing
13:27Karan sir
13:28What do you see in Alia?
13:30A friend?
13:31Daughter? Daughter?
13:32Aunt?
13:33You must be seeing someone like that
13:34Aunt?
13:35I mean
13:38See
13:39I am Yash and Ruhi's father
13:41Yes
13:42But for the first time
13:43When I got that maternal feeling
13:47I came with Alia
13:48And
13:49We were in a vanity van
13:51And I was actually shooting a photo
13:53It was a look test
13:54Alia didn't know if she would be in the film
13:57What is the name of the film
13:58She didn't know anything
14:00She was going to fit herself for 3 months
14:03She didn't eat anything
14:05So
14:06After the photo session
14:07I went in the van
14:08And her mummy was Soni
14:09And I gave her a cupcake
14:12Just as a whatever
14:14So I told her
14:15You are on the film
14:16And I am directing the film
14:17So she got very emotional
14:19And her first thought was
14:21Can I eat this?
14:27That's when
14:28I felt the motherly love inside me
14:30The father inside me came out
14:32And that day is today
14:34And she is my first daughter
14:35How sweet
14:36Thank you
14:41Alia
14:42What do you see in Karan sir?
14:44Friend
14:45Elder brother
14:46Uncle
14:47What do you feel?
14:48I think Karan
14:49He is everything for me
14:50He is a mentor
14:51He is a friend
14:52He is like a father
14:53He is a co-producer with this film
14:56Wow
14:57I would like to proudly say
14:59That Alia is producing with me
15:02And I can't be more proud
15:05I am producing a film with her
15:07Wow
15:10Karan sir
15:11Some people believe
15:12And you might have been caught doing this
15:14Some people believe
15:16That he runs a marriage bureau in the industry
15:18He is fixing a program for rich people
15:20Marriage Bureau
15:23I have taken many people's proposals
15:25They are married
15:26But I am single
15:28Halwai doesn't eat his sweets
15:31Alia
15:32When you were going to marry Ranbir
15:35Did you take his advice as a marriage consultant?
15:38Or as a friend?
15:39Or as a father figure?
15:40Let me tell you one thing about Karan
15:42I don't know if he actually does anything
15:45But he has a Sikh sense
15:47So he says it from the beginning
15:49I think
15:50They will make a pair
15:51So when Ranbir and I became friends
15:55Became friends
16:01He very clearly told me
16:03Alia, I think this is it
16:04Yeah, I knew it
16:05I knew when she started becoming a friend
16:08That this relationship
16:10Will go till marriage
16:12And this will be the rest of her life
16:14Wow
16:18We have spoken to Karan sir and Alia
16:20Please come sir
16:21Welcome
16:23Thank you
16:27Last time when we met Alia
16:29At the time of RRR
16:30Alia came
16:31She wasn't even married then