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~~~~~
Video Information: 13.04.23, IIT-Delhi, Delhi
Context:
~ How to turn our life into a success story?
~ How to be successful in life?
~ What is the reality of celebrities?
~ Why do celebrities commit suicide?
~ How important is ambition?
~ What is celebrities' real life like?
~ Are we being fooled by glamour?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...
Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books?
Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...
~~~~~
Video Information: 13.04.23, IIT-Delhi, Delhi
Context:
~ How to turn our life into a success story?
~ How to be successful in life?
~ What is the reality of celebrities?
~ Why do celebrities commit suicide?
~ How important is ambition?
~ What is celebrities' real life like?
~ Are we being fooled by glamour?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00Hello sir, I am Angela and I am pursuing Global Business Operations from this college only.
00:11So sir, my question is related to life, like I have heard people saying that some people
00:16say that you should live for yourself and some people say that it gives more happiness
00:20when you live for others.
00:22So I also sometimes get into dilemma that what should I do in a particular situation.
00:28So my question revolves around that.
00:32So Angela is asking whether to live for oneself or others, right?
00:42That's the way the question is framed.
00:46There is a side where you live for yourself and contrasted to that there is a side where
00:54you live for others.
01:00Yes there indeed are two sides, please sit, but they are not quite the way you are seeing
01:13them and presenting them.
01:17The two sides can rather be seen like this.
01:24There is a center within us from where we see that working for oneself is different
01:37from working for others.
01:42That's one center we operate from and if you operate from that center then it's an either
01:47or situation, a zero-sum game.
01:52From that center self-interest is always contradictory to, pitted against general interest
02:06and most people operate from that center, right?
02:10If you are operating from there, we can have two centers within, we can have two drivers
02:16then from where we come, we can have two identities within.
02:22If you operate from the first center or the first identity, you will feel that your welfare
02:31and the welfare of others, the world, the society, these two are mutually exclusive.
02:39You'll feel as if there is a piece of bread and if you have it then your brother can't
02:48have it and if he has it then you can't have it.
02:52Even if the two of you decide to have half each of it, still that's not the same as you
03:04enjoying the complete portion, the full bite, right?
03:11So this is a zero-sum game, you understand a zero-sum game?
03:16If it's plus one for you then it's minus one for the other.
03:20If I win then you lose, the two of us can't win simultaneously, that's a zero-sum game.
03:28So that's the common way of looking at the world, at life itself.
03:35That's the way this question too is coming from.
03:38Should I live for myself or should I live for others?
03:43Look at the assumption behind the question, the assumption is, it's either this or that.
03:53Therefore it's a tough choice and that's also the way it's been traditionally represented.
04:01If you want to live for the society, it has been said that you have to renounce all self-interest.
04:08Look at the concept of the sannyasi.
04:11If you want to live for the world then you have to partake in austerities, you have to
04:17become a renunciate, an ascetic, right?
04:22Because if you are doing it for the world you can't do it for yourself.
04:25And that's the idea that has clutched us from this either or situation.
04:33This either or situation appears to us only because we operate from the wrong center.
04:43That's the center of the ego and the ego says my interest is different, rather contrasted
04:50to the interest of the world.
04:55If I have to be happy then somebody has to be sad.
05:00If I have to win something then somebody has to lose or if I have to get something then
05:09there has to be at least a barter.
05:12So the situation is either competitive or one of bargain.
05:20But the situation is never symbiotic, right?
05:25That's how we commonly think and that's how we have been made to think and that's how
05:29even our systems are, right?
05:31If you want to win the gold medal, obviously the other one cannot.
05:39If you are running a race, not everybody can win a race, right?
05:43So it's an either or situation, either I win it or somebody else does.
05:50Then there is the other center where you start seeing that actually your interests
06:00and the interests of others are inseparable and if you try to take care of only your own
06:12personal divided limited interests then you will not be able to take care of even your
06:19own interests.
06:23That it's easy and tempting to assume that you can have happiness at the cost of others.
06:35If not at the cost of others then at least by being oblivious or insensitive to the condition
06:41of others.
06:45But then such happiness would be no happiness at all which means that if others are suffering
06:51it is impossible that you can be happy or prosperous.
06:57Are you getting it?
06:58That's the center of maturity, that's the center of wisdom.
07:03From that center this question becomes invalid.
07:09That center says well if you are taking care of your own real interests then even without
07:17your knowing you will find that you are directly or indirectly helping others as well.
07:24Equally if you are really helping others then directly, indirectly, consciously, unconsciously
07:32you will find that you are helping yourself as well.
07:36So these two become one, united, undivided.
07:42If I'm doing something then for you, parallelly something good is happening for me as well
07:50even without my conscious effort.
07:53My consciousness is fixed on doing something good for you.
08:03My consciousness is not caring about my own personal self-interest and yet if I just
08:09take care of your welfare, my welfare is automatically taken care of because the two of us are inseparable.
08:25It's like a lot of people on the same plane or the same boat.
08:32If even one of them is to reach the destination it is discovered that all of them have reached
08:40their destination, right?
08:43If the pilot is flying the passengers to a particular place it is inevitable that the
08:50pilot too would reach that place and not only would the pilot reach that place he will find
08:58that he has reached that place and now has good company.
09:03What's the fun in reaching a great place alone?
09:08You have reached there and you have flown so many others to that great place.
09:14That's the center we said of maturity and wisdom, right?
09:20Remember that the other center not only does not work for others, it also does not work
09:28for you.
09:31The center of superficiality, immaturity, what does it say?
09:38It says I can be good, happy, fulfilled at the cost of others or by ignoring the welfare
09:51of others or by closing my eyes to the condition of others, right?
09:57That's what the center of immaturity says.
10:01Remember if you are operating from this center you are creating suffering both ways not just
10:09one way.
10:11I am not asking you to be a do-gooder, to be altruistic, to involve yourself in social
10:19work.
10:20What I am saying is social work is personal work.
10:24What I am saying is universal good is personal good and these two are indistinct.
10:31If by what you are doing, if by how you are living, you are causing suffering to others
10:43then your way of living be causing suffering to you as well even if you do not recognize that.
10:54So, there is a stray dog on the road and there are these kids, brats, preteens who are having
11:03fun by throwing stones at the animal, right?
11:08And the animal is getting hit and hurt and those kids are all laughing.
11:14It appears as if one party and one party alone is the sufferer.
11:19That's not true.
11:21That's what appears on the surface.
11:23The fact is both are suffering, it's just that the suffering of one is visible and the
11:31suffering of the other is not visible, it will become visible at some other time.
11:37It will not come at some other time, it will just become visible at some other time.
11:42They are already suffering, they are already condemned.
11:47It's just that it will take time for their suffering to express itself.
11:53It's like getting infected by a virus, we are talking of COVID again these days.
12:00Your suffering does not begin the moment you get infected or does it?
12:08You get infected today, the symptoms show up five days later, right?
12:14So that's the thing, we do not realize that we are already suffering.
12:19That realization comes after five days, for five days we can party and enjoy and infect
12:25others as well and that's what most of human life is actually about.
12:33We suffer and we teach others how to suffer.
12:40Everybody is a philosopher, everybody is a teacher, everybody is a preacher and all of
12:46us in subtle or unsubtle ways are relaying our own concept and philosophy of life to
12:53everybody around us and we tell them dude, do this, go that way.
13:00I have been there, done that, look how happy I am and who is this fellow?
13:05He is the fellow in whom the symptoms have not yet appeared but he is already infected.
13:12It's just that he is not getting himself tested properly.
13:16With a virus it's easier to get yourself diagnosed, right?
13:20You can visit a pathology and the report would be out in a few hours.
13:25But when it comes to inner infection, mental infection, it can be detected only by careful
13:33self-observation.
13:34Unfortunately, our upbringing, our education, our media and all the influences around us,
13:46they do not educate us in the importance and the art of self-observation.
13:54So we do not know that we are suffering, it's a very funny thing.
13:58People suffer and yet keep behaving as if they are not suffering, right?
14:06So you meet a commoner on the road and you ask him, so how are you?
14:10Chances are he will say all is well.
14:14You very well know nothing is well with his life but he will say all is well, right?
14:22And it's not just that you are trying to fool the other by saying all is well.
14:27You actually do feel it's almost okay, it's almost okay, it's good, it's good.
14:35When things are horrible and rotten, we still keep saying all is well.
14:46And that's not because you have a positive attitude, that's because we are blind to our
14:52real situation.
14:53It's not about positivity, it's about blindness.
14:58We do not know how we are and it is out of this blindness that the concept that I can
15:08make the animal suffer or I can make my neighbor suffer or I can make my family suffer or I
15:15can make the neighboring country suffer, I can make the other species suffer, I can make
15:23my customer suffer, I can make my student or my teacher suffer.
15:30I can do all kinds of nonsensical things to others and get happiness in return.
15:40This idea continues to prevail.
15:43It's a very stupid idea.
15:47It's a very very stupid idea.
15:49What to do then?
15:52Please see that the thing that you want is really much the same thing that others want
16:00from life.
16:04Also see that you cannot really have that as long as you want it only for yourself.
16:17Having something only for oneself is exactly the dissatisfaction that you want to get rid
16:24of.
16:27Because when you want something only for yourself, think of what you have put at the top place.
16:35When I say I want something only for myself, what is it that you have given the highest
16:40place to?
16:42Yourself and those who have tried to look into life have said that the self itself is
16:48the biggest bondage, that the greatest bondage is the self and the narrow kind of selfishness
16:59says whatever I have to do, I have to do only for my little self.
17:06Even if you manage to do something wonderful for your little self, whom have you managed
17:14to now inflate?
17:16The little self because you have done so much for it and the little self was the fundamental
17:21suffering.
17:22So, if you do so much for the little self, you have only inflated your suffering.
17:31The one that you want to do so much for, the one that you call as I, the self is exactly
17:37your suffering.
17:38So, if you do much for that self, you are only aiding your suffering, you are only increasing
17:48your suffering.
17:51What is to be done then?
17:53What is the purpose of life?
17:55The purpose of life is not accumulation around the little self, I want this, I want that.
18:02The purpose of life is knowing what you really want and when you try to know what is it that
18:10you really want, you get surprising conclusions very individually and people have come to
18:20the same conclusion 200 years ago, 2000 years ago, 4000 years ago, in India, in China, in
18:34Europe, in Africa, in the Middle East, in Japan, irrespective of where one has gone
18:46into this question, the answer has been more or less the same.
18:53The answer has been that no, all these things that we commonly want, that's not what we
19:00really want.
19:03All these things that we are commonly conditioned to want, that's not what we really want, those
19:10are very superficial desires, there is a much much deeper desire and we all deserve
19:17to get that desire fulfilled.
19:21There is no point spending your life in just dealing with your superficial desires and
19:30inflating your little ego.
19:33You know what the deeper desire is?
19:41Usually, this answer comes to those only, only those who have invested themselves in
19:45knowing the answer, but let me just point at it to you.
19:55The deepest desire is getting rid of the self itself, not doing much for the self, but getting
20:03rid of the self, that's your deepest desire and that's not a duty somebody else is imposing
20:09on you, that's your own fundamental deepest desire, that's what you want.
20:16In fact, that desire is so great and so deep that it has been called as true love.
20:24True love is about seeing your own inner extinction.
20:32You do not want to continue the way you are inwardly and that's what you love, your own dissolution.
20:41Are you getting it?
20:47So when you operate from the right center, you start seeing the falseness of the question itself.
20:58I do not know to what extent I am able to communicate this to you, but even if it does
21:04not reach you fully, let something, something vague resonate within you, it will probably
21:13help you in the time to come.
21:19You just mentioned the deepest desire is to getting rid of oneself.
21:23So what exactly do you mean by that?
21:27You think of yourself as somebody, right?
21:31You think of yourself as somebody.
21:36So if I ask you, who are you?
21:38You will reply in those terms, very conventional terms, very popular terms, very predictable
21:45terms, right?
21:47I am a human being, I am X years old, I am a male, I am a student, I am a student of
21:57such subject, I am a Hindu, I am a Muslim, I am a Christian, something, I am a socialist,
22:06I am a capitalist.
22:10When you look into these things, you discover these are, these are identities that are given
22:18to you either by your body or by the society, both of which are rather random.
22:30You did not decide to take birth with black hair and black eyes.
22:39Had you been in Europe, you would have had blue eyes and blonde hair.
22:46But today you will say, I am somebody with such features.
22:51You did not decide to take birth as a boy, it happened, the body has been randomly given
23:04to you and that which is random, how can that be your fundamental identity?
23:13Can a random occurrence be allowed to call your fundamental identity, please?
23:19You are born in a particular religion, a particular caste probably, did you choose that?
23:25It's a random occurrence.
23:28You say you probably love cricket, were you born a Russian, would you still love cricket?
23:37So can your love for cricket be your fundamental identity?
23:44You love matar pulao, born in north east, unlikely, born in deep south, again unlikely.
23:59But these things, they start becoming so important to us that we forget that they are things,
24:08the body is a thing, the ideology is a thing, the gender is a thing, the likes and dislikes
24:13are a thing, they become our core.
24:20Self-observation is about seeing that none of this is your core.
24:26What is the core then?
24:28There is no core.
24:30At most you could say that your ability to see that there is no core is your core.
24:37Your ability to see that there is no core is your core, that's all.
24:43All else is random, all else is in the stream of time, it randomly came one day, randomly
24:50it will depart one day.
24:54So does that answer your question?