Liv Struss Loses Seat in General Election: Inner Monologue
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00:00Phew! Made it just in time! Thank God they didn't know I was lost!
00:04Well, well, well. It's my turn. An easy win for little old Lizzie.
00:10I've worked hard. It's in the bag.
00:13I'm not really sure what this competition is though. Seems fun.
00:16Whoops! I'm not listening.
00:17Brie! Stilton! I can't bear this. I'm bored! Let me win already!
00:24Listen here, United Brighton. You're all idiots.
00:27I've delivered the pie and you can have some.
00:31Pie? Actually, I'm really hungry.
00:34I hope Kwazi makes some of that casserole I like tomorrow.
00:38Bob the Builder! Can you fix it? Bob the Builder!
00:44We get the job done. I must look up those words.
00:48Hang on, where am I?
00:50Oh yeah, look at this lot. They're so lucky to have me.
00:54The Port Market Queen of Beijing in their presence.
00:58Waiting with bated breath to hear my triumphant speech.
01:04We've done it again, Maggie. I love you.
01:07Hang on, did I leave the iron on?
01:10Oh yes, of course. I don't do my own ironing.
01:13My little minions do that for me.
01:16I love minions. Funny little yellow people.
01:19Why haven't I heard that from Steve Carroll about my pitch for Despicable Me 6?
01:24Everyone knows how good a writer I am.
01:27You can find my book everywhere, even in the bin.
01:30Hmm, maybe I should get a pet chinchilla.
01:34I could start a chinchilla farm and make hats.
01:37Ooh, chinchillas on your head. Ooh, chinchillas on your head.
01:41Hang on, where am I?
01:44Oh, there's my name! I won!
01:48Wait, 11,217 is higher than 11,847, isn't it?
01:56One, two, nine.
01:59Pi equals 3.14.
02:03No, I lost!
02:05That is a disgrace.
02:08What a bastard.
02:10I put a cross against his name on the ballot paper
02:12because I don't want him around and told everyone else to do that too.
02:16What the frack?
02:18I don't need any of you b******.
02:21I've got £115,000 per year for doing nothing.
02:25And I've got OnlyFans and they love me talking about growth.
02:29As for the lettuce, it's just a woke, pointless, weak fruit.
02:33You're all just part of the deep state and lefty recycling vegans.
02:38And actually, I don't care.
02:41I'm still not losing my seat because I've bought all of the chairs in Ikea's.
02:45So you can't stop me from sitting down in South West North Shredded Wheat Norfolk.
02:51I'll never leave.
02:53Oh no, human is coming towards me.
02:56He wants to touch me.
02:58Don't shake his hand.
02:59Rather not.
03:00Are you ready for your handover speech?
03:02No, I'm going now.
03:06Which way do I go?
03:09This way.
03:10I knew I'd win.
03:11Woohoo!