The first in the 'Somewhere' series staring northern entertainer Frank Randle. When a lovestruck corporal is framed and then demoted his friends rally round to help clear his name.
Source: IMDB
Source: IMDB
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:30♪
00:00:35♪
00:00:40♪
00:00:45♪
00:00:50♪
00:00:55♪
00:01:00♪
00:01:05♪
00:01:10♪
00:01:15♪
00:01:20♪
00:01:25♪
00:01:30♪
00:01:35♪
00:01:40♪
00:01:45♪
00:01:50♪
00:01:55♪
00:02:00♪
00:02:05♪
00:02:10♪
00:02:15♪
00:02:20♪
00:02:25♪
00:02:30♪
00:02:35♪
00:02:40♪
00:02:45♪
00:02:50♪
00:02:55♪
00:03:00♪
00:03:05♪
00:03:10♪
00:03:15♪
00:03:20♪
00:03:25♪
00:03:30♪
00:03:35♪
00:03:40♪
00:03:45♪
00:03:50♪
00:03:55♪
00:04:00♪
00:04:05♪
00:04:10♪
00:04:15♪
00:04:20♪
00:04:25♪
00:04:30♪
00:04:35♪
00:04:40♪
00:04:45♪
00:04:50♪
00:04:55♪
00:05:00♪
00:05:05♪
00:05:10♪
00:05:15♪
00:05:20♪
00:05:25♪
00:05:30♪
00:05:35♪
00:05:40♪
00:05:45♪
00:05:50♪
00:05:55♪
00:06:00♪
00:06:05♪
00:06:10♪
00:06:15♪
00:06:20♪
00:06:25♪
00:06:30♪
00:06:35♪
00:06:40♪
00:06:45♪
00:06:50♪
00:06:55♪
00:07:00♪
00:07:05♪
00:07:10♪
00:07:15♪
00:07:20♪
00:07:25♪
00:07:30♪
00:07:35♪
00:07:40♪
00:07:45♪
00:07:50♪
00:07:55♪
00:08:00♪
00:08:05♪
00:08:10♪
00:08:15♪
00:08:20♪
00:08:25♪
00:08:30♪
00:08:35♪
00:08:40♪
00:08:45♪
00:08:50♪
00:08:55♪
00:09:00♪
00:09:05♪
00:09:10♪
00:09:15♪
00:09:20♪
00:09:25♪
00:09:30♪
00:09:35♪
00:09:40♪
00:09:45♪
00:09:50♪
00:09:55♪
00:10:00♪
00:10:05♪
00:10:10♪
00:10:15♪
00:10:20♪
00:10:25♪
00:10:30♪
00:10:35♪
00:10:40♪
00:10:45♪
00:10:50♪
00:10:55♪
00:11:00♪
00:11:05♪
00:11:10♪
00:11:15♪
00:11:20♪
00:11:25♪
00:11:30♪
00:11:35♪
00:11:40♪
00:11:45♪
00:11:50♪
00:11:55♪
00:12:00♪
00:12:05♪
00:12:10♪
00:12:15♪
00:12:20♪
00:12:25♪
00:12:30♪
00:12:35♪
00:12:40♪
00:12:45♪
00:12:50♪
00:12:55♪
00:13:00♪
00:13:05♪
00:13:10♪
00:13:15♪
00:13:20♪
00:13:25♪
00:13:30♪
00:13:35♪
00:13:40♪
00:13:45♪
00:13:50♪
00:13:55♪
00:14:00♪
00:14:05♪
00:14:10♪
00:14:15♪
00:14:20♪
00:14:25♪
00:14:30♪
00:14:35♪
00:14:40♪
00:14:45♪
00:14:50♪
00:14:55♪
00:15:00♪
00:15:05♪
00:15:10♪
00:15:15♪
00:15:20♪
00:15:25♪
00:15:30♪
00:15:35♪
00:15:40♪
00:15:45♪
00:15:50♪
00:15:55♪
00:16:00♪
00:16:05♪
00:16:10♪
00:16:15♪
00:16:20♪
00:16:25♪
00:16:30♪
00:16:35♪
00:16:40♪
00:16:45♪
00:16:50♪
00:16:55♪
00:17:00♪
00:17:05♪
00:17:10♪
00:17:15♪
00:17:20♪
00:17:25♪
00:17:30♪
00:17:35♪
00:17:40♪
00:17:45♪
00:17:50♪
00:17:55♪
00:18:00♪
00:18:05♪
00:18:10♪
00:18:15♪
00:18:20♪
00:18:25♪
00:18:30♪
00:18:35♪
00:18:40♪
00:18:45♪
00:18:50♪
00:18:55♪
00:19:00♪
00:19:05♪
00:19:10♪
00:19:15♪
00:19:20♪
00:19:25♪
00:19:30♪
00:19:35♪
00:19:40♪
00:19:45♪
00:19:50♪
00:19:55♪
00:20:00♪
00:20:05♪
00:20:10♪
00:20:15♪
00:20:20♪
00:20:25♪
00:20:30♪
00:20:35♪
00:20:40♪
00:20:45♪
00:20:50♪
00:20:55♪
00:21:00♪
00:21:05♪
00:21:10♪
00:21:15♪
00:21:20♪
00:21:25♪
00:21:30♪
00:21:35♪
00:21:40♪
00:21:45♪
00:21:50♪
00:21:55♪
00:22:00♪
00:22:05♪
00:22:10♪
00:22:15♪
00:22:20♪
00:22:25♪
00:22:30♪
00:22:35♪
00:22:40♪
00:22:45♪
00:22:50♪
00:22:55♪
00:23:00♪
00:23:05♪
00:23:10♪
00:23:15♪
00:23:20♪
00:23:25♪
00:23:30♪
00:23:35♪
00:23:40♪
00:23:45♪
00:23:50♪
00:23:55♪
00:24:00♪
00:24:05♪
00:24:10♪
00:24:15♪
00:24:20♪
00:24:25♪
00:24:30♪
00:24:35♪
00:24:40♪
00:24:45♪
00:24:50♪
00:24:55♪
00:25:00♪
00:25:05♪
00:25:10♪
00:25:15♪
00:25:20♪
00:25:25♪
00:25:30♪
00:25:35♪
00:25:40♪
00:25:45♪
00:25:50♪
00:25:55♪
00:26:00♪
00:26:05♪
00:26:10♪
00:26:15♪
00:26:20♪
00:26:25♪
00:26:30♪
00:26:35♪
00:26:40♪
00:26:45♪
00:26:50♪
00:26:55♪
00:27:00♪
00:27:05♪
00:27:10♪
00:27:15♪
00:27:20♪
00:27:25♪
00:27:30♪
00:27:35♪
00:27:40♪
00:27:45♪
00:27:50♪
00:27:55♪
00:28:00♪
00:28:05♪
00:28:10♪
00:28:15♪
00:28:20♪
00:28:25♪
00:28:30♪
00:28:35♪
00:28:40Hello, Sergeant. Hello, Miss Melanne.
00:28:43Are you enjoying your leave? Oh, very nearly.
00:28:45Are my steps ready? I think so, yes.
00:28:48There you are, young lady.
00:28:51What do you think of this one?
00:28:53Champions. Love's young dream.
00:28:55It's a good one of them. Oh, you would say that.
00:28:58How much do I owe you? Let me see now.
00:29:02Oh, thank you very much, Sergeant.
00:29:04Now, is there anything else we can turn over at a big profit?
00:29:07I brought this library book back. Want another one?
00:29:09No, thank you. I'm afraid there's no time for more reading at present.
00:29:12I've got something you'll find time to read.
00:29:14Oh, what's that? A letter from Jack.
00:29:16Oh, thank you very much, Sergeant.
00:29:18Oh, how kind of you. You're as daft as he is.
00:29:21Oh, I really must be off now. I know.
00:29:23Going in the park to read his letter.
00:29:25How did you know? How did I know? Of course I know.
00:29:28And all the boys in the barracks are talking about you singing at our concert.
00:29:31Are they? Mm-hmm. You'll make a big impression.
00:29:34Oh. Yes, with those dimples, you know, they'll love your voice.
00:29:38Oh, how curious, Sergeant. Hello. Curious?
00:29:40Mm-hmm. It's nice to be young.
00:29:42No, I'm not as old as I thought I was.
00:29:49Now then, missus, getting ready to go out?
00:29:51Yes, we're just going out to see the insurance agent.
00:29:53The insurance, ah, the fire insurance.
00:29:55Fire insurance, certainly not. Your insurance.
00:29:57My insurance?
00:29:58Yes, we've sorted it over and we've decided to take out another policy on you.
00:30:01Another policy on me? What for?
00:30:03Well, how do you expect to be buried?
00:30:05How do I expect to be buried?
00:30:06Flat, you blithering idiot. Flat.
00:30:08How do you expect me to be buried? With me after me hand and me knees up?
00:30:11We've been told we can give you a lovely funeral for 15 pounds.
00:30:14Give me 15 pounds?
00:30:15We've been told we can give you a lovely funeral for 15 pounds.
00:30:17Give me a funeral for 15 pounds?
00:30:19Yes, we've got it all worked out.
00:30:21Well, it's very nice of you. Very thoughtful.
00:30:23Yes, you get a beautiful motorhouse with a Rolls Royce engine.
00:30:27Well, couldn't they make us an aeroplane? I'd get away quicker.
00:30:29Oh, yes. We can give you a real old coffin with chromium fittings.
00:30:33We've seen a picture of it and it does look lovely.
00:30:35I'll bet it does and all. Hey, whose funeral is this?
00:30:38Yours, of course.
00:30:39Go on.
00:30:40And for tea afterwards, we can have ham. That's it.
00:30:42Ham? What's the matter with tongue?
00:30:43No, mother doesn't like tongue.
00:30:44No, I suppose she's used it all up.
00:30:46You're not coming to me funeral, are you?
00:30:48Oh, yes. With pleasure.
00:30:50Nay, don't you come.
00:30:52Why not?
00:30:53Oh, you'll spoil me day's outing.
00:30:55Oh, yes, nap, you betty.
00:30:56There'll be enough money left to call in at the hotel on the way back.
00:31:00Can't we call in the hotel on the way going?
00:31:02Why?
00:31:03Well, I shan't be with you coming back, shall I?
00:31:06Shop, come in.
00:31:09Good morning, madam. Now, what can I do for you?
00:31:12I think I'd like to join your circulating library.
00:31:14Certainly, lady. What is the name?
00:31:16Vera Sylvain.
00:31:18Vera Sylvain. What a lovely name.
00:31:20Do you like it?
00:31:21Rather. You're a newcomer to these parts.
00:31:23Yes, I've only lived here, well, on the new estate for a few weeks.
00:31:27I'm a widow, you know.
00:31:28No, I didn't know.
00:31:30Well, you know now.
00:31:32Now, I've got a very nice selection. What would you like?
00:31:34Have you health and strength?
00:31:36Oh, lady, if you only knew.
00:31:40I mean the magazine.
00:31:41Sold out.
00:31:42Have you gone with the wind?
00:31:43I beg your pardon?
00:31:44Have you gone with the wind?
00:31:45No, my trouble's hiccups.
00:31:47I've got Never Again by Hitler's Father.
00:31:50No, please, no.
00:31:51You don't like that, do you?
00:31:52How to Obtain Eggs Without Hens.
00:31:54How can you?
00:31:55Kate Dukes.
00:31:56Here's a nice one here. She Sleeps Alone by Lines.
00:31:59What lines is that?
00:32:01Hard lines.
00:32:02Oh, there's one I think I should like to read.
00:32:04That?
00:32:05Ah, yes, that's called The Lonely Widow.
00:32:08I think I'd like to read that.
00:32:10Will you?
00:32:11All right, I'll just enter your name in it.
00:32:13And a little message from myself.
00:32:17Thank you so much.
00:32:19Goodbye.
00:32:20Goodbye.
00:32:22Goodbye.
00:32:33I suppose I'm having a tombstone.
00:32:35Oh, yes, made of marble.
00:32:37A real heavy one to keep you down.
00:32:39To make sure I don't come back like.
00:32:41And they're going to plant a lot of rose trees.
00:32:44Oh, the little dogs will be pleased.
00:32:46You're never satisfied.
00:32:48People doing their best for you.
00:32:49Come on, Mother.
00:32:51Oh, dear.
00:33:07Oh, excuse me.
00:33:27Are you the mother of my child?
00:33:29I beg your pardon?
00:33:30No, that's not right.
00:33:31Do you know where my mother is?
00:33:33Your mother?
00:33:34No, I'm all of a quiver.
00:33:35It's my wife.
00:33:36All right, that's it.
00:33:37She's had a baby by wireless.
00:33:38No, I mean, she's had a telegram to say I've had a baby.
00:33:41No, that's not right.
00:33:42It certainly doesn't seem right.
00:33:44No, don't go.
00:33:45Don't get excited.
00:33:46Is this the eternity ward?
00:33:48The maternity ward.
00:33:49Eternity means the hereafter.
00:33:51Ah, that's what I mean.
00:33:52After.
00:33:53It's my wife and baby, you see.
00:33:54I've a daughter.
00:33:55I'm as proud as a cock bee.
00:33:57I'm as big as a.
00:33:58I'm a proper proud.
00:34:00Well, I think you're cracking.
00:34:01Yes.
00:34:02Oh, so it's there you are.
00:34:05Glory be.
00:34:06Are you the father?
00:34:07I am and all.
00:34:08Well, I hope so.
00:34:09Oh, for the love of my tree.
00:34:10You're no chicken, but you've got young ideas.
00:34:12Oh, I'm nearly beside myself.
00:34:14Fancy meeting your daughter.
00:34:15Is everything OK?
00:34:16Oh, sure.
00:34:17Gee, I'm just a bit proud.
00:34:19If they'll keep providing the cradles,
00:34:20I'll keep filling them.
00:34:21I must say, your wife's a very charming little woman.
00:34:23Oh, trust me to pick them.
00:34:25What are you doing tonight?
00:34:26I'm out to mind my own business.
00:34:27I'll bet you're a bit of a hoddan.
00:34:29I can't understand how a nice little woman like your wife
00:34:31came to marry you.
00:34:32Why not?
00:34:33Oh, sure you know.
00:34:34Oh, I don't know anything.
00:34:35No, but I have all the techniques.
00:34:37You're telling me.
00:34:38Well, in you go and don't lose your head now.
00:34:40You leave it to me.
00:34:41I have it up here.
00:34:42I have.
00:34:43Well, don't be too sure.
00:34:44Oh, I'll go see my baby.
00:34:45Oh, I beg your pardon.
00:34:49Darling.
00:34:50How are you?
00:34:51My goodness, you're looking jumpy.
00:34:54I'm glad to see you.
00:34:55I've been feeding you all right.
00:34:56You've got a first place here.
00:34:57I have.
00:34:58Oh!
00:34:59Whatever are you doing?
00:35:02Oh!
00:35:04I'm sorry, darling.
00:35:06Why don't you be more careful?
00:35:08It's the excitement of it.
00:35:09I don't know whether I'm on me heels over here
00:35:11or I feel all over the world going on Twitter.
00:35:14How are you, my precious?
00:35:15I'm doing fine.
00:35:16I'm glad to see you, my hero.
00:35:20Oh, shut up.
00:35:21Don't talk to me like that.
00:35:22You make me feel proper silly.
00:35:24Well, what shall we call it?
00:35:25The boy?
00:35:26Yes.
00:35:27The best.
00:35:28Is it?
00:35:29I mean, shall we?
00:35:30Well, let's have a bit.
00:35:31No, no.
00:35:32It's in the cup.
00:35:33You know, this is the proudest day in all my life.
00:35:35It's time for my medicine.
00:35:37Will you get it for me?
00:35:38I will, darling.
00:35:39Yes, of course I will.
00:35:40All right, darling.
00:35:45Sorry.
00:35:49I'll bet that'll do you good.
00:35:53This is the happiest day in all my life.
00:35:55I'm so glad you take it like that.
00:35:57You haven't kissed me yet.
00:36:00I can wait no longer.
00:36:02Where is this offspring of mine?
00:36:23Where are you going?
00:36:25I'm going to ask for the king's permission.
00:36:28Good morning, Mrs. Kenyon.
00:36:29Good morning.
00:36:30Here's another letter from your deck.
00:36:31I suppose you've been waiting for this.
00:36:32I have indeed.
00:36:35Good morning, Mrs. Kenyon.
00:36:37Good morning.
00:36:38Here's another letter from your deck.
00:36:39I suppose you've been waiting for this.
00:36:41I have indeed.
00:37:00This Kenyon boy is tough.
00:37:02His footwork's excellent.
00:37:03Smith now goes in with a swing from his right.
00:37:05He doesn't connect.
00:37:06He tries the left hook.
00:37:07Kenyon backs away cleverly.
00:37:08They've been a-telling one every got home.
00:37:09Oh, well done, Kenyon!
00:37:10Painting with his left, he brought his right in like lightning.
00:37:12Smith rode it well.
00:37:13He's buoyed the game and no mistake.
00:37:15Kenyon in with victories.
00:37:16He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:37:17Smith misses on the break.
00:37:18Moore passes, changes.
00:37:19Smith on the attack.
00:37:20Kenyon countering cleverly.
00:37:21A great fight, this.
00:37:22The venom about it seldom seen with youngsters.
00:37:24Kenyon now forcing methods,
00:37:25playing a tattoo on Smith's ribs.
00:37:26Smith retaliates.
00:37:27Oh, well told, Kenyon.
00:37:28Smith aimed a vicious blow at Kenyon's chin.
00:37:30But Kenyon keeps his chin well tucked in
00:37:31and took it on his glove.
00:37:32Fighting back, Kenyon has his man on the ropes
00:37:34and giving blow for blow.
00:37:35Smith's using the ropes like an old timer.
00:37:37There can't be much in this fight.
00:37:38There goes Kenyon again with his immaculate left.
00:38:01Oh, well told, Kenyon.
00:38:02He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:03He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:04He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:05He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:06He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:07He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:08He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:09He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:10He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:11He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:12He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:13He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:14He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:15He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:16He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:17He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:18He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:19He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:20He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:21He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:22He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:23He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:24He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:25He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:26He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:27He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:28He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:29He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:30He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:31He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:32He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:33He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:34He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:35He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:36He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:37He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:38He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:39He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:40He's giving away a lot of weight.
00:38:42I declare a round of applause for Jet Kenyon, the winner.
00:39:03Owing to unforeseen circumstances, the contestants for the next fight are unable to appear.
00:39:20Filling the breach, I am appealing for two volunteers.
00:39:23Anyone willing?
00:39:24Yes, sir.
00:39:25Are you going to fight?
00:39:27Nay, not me.
00:39:28M and M.
00:39:29All right, carry on.
00:39:30It's your own business, you know.
00:39:31You know what this is.
00:39:32I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:33I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:34I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:35I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:36I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:37I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:38I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:39I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:40I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:41I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:42I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:43I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:44I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:45I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:46I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:47I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:48I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:49I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:50I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:51I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:52I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:53I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:54I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:55I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:56I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:57I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:58I'm not giving it to you.
00:39:59I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:00I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:01I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:02I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:03I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:04I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:05I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:06I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:07I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:08I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:09I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:10I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:11I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:12I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:13I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:14I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:15I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:16I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:17I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:18I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:19I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:20I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:21I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:22I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:23I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:24I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:25I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:26I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:27I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:28I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:29I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:30I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:31I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:32I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:33I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:34I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:35I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:36I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:37I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:38I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:39I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:40I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:41I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:42I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:43I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:44I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:45I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:46I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:47I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:48I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:49I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:50I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:51I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:52I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:53I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:54I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:55I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:56I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:57I'm not giving it to you.
00:40:59I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:00I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:01I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:02I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:03I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:04I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:05I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:06I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:07I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:08I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:09I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:10I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:11I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:12I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:13I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:14I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:15I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:16I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:17I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:18I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:19I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:20I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:21I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:22I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:23I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:24I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:25I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:26I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:27I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:28I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:29I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:30I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:31I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:32I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:33I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:34I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:35I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:36I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:37I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:38I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:39I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:40I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:41I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:42I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:44I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:45I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:46I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:47I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:48I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:49I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:50I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:51I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:52I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:53I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:54I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:55I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:56I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:57I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:58I'm not giving it to you.
00:41:59I'm not giving it to you.
00:42:00I'm not giving it to you.
00:42:01I'm not giving it to you.
00:42:02I'm not giving it to you.
00:42:03I'm not giving it to you.
00:42:04I'm not giving it to you.
00:42:05I'm not giving it to you.
00:42:07Shut it!
00:42:12The loss of a gold cigarette case has been reported to me
00:42:14by Bandmaster Wallace.
00:42:15This case was taken from his coat by someone
00:42:18in the dressing room at the Driller Hall last night.
00:42:21Now if one of you boys took this case in a sudden fit
00:42:24of temptation, then whoever he is, if he'll own up,
00:42:27well nothing more might be said about it.
00:42:29So now's a chance for any of you boys to speak up.
00:42:34Sergeant, carry on with the kit inspection, and search each void.
00:42:43All kit bags at the end of the bed.
00:42:49All clear, sir.
00:42:50It's a very unpleasant task for me, Wallace.
00:42:53Very, sir.
00:42:54Clear, sir.
00:42:55Clear, sir.
00:42:57Yes, sir.
00:43:11Is this the one?
00:43:12Yes, sir.
00:43:16Kenyon, you, above anybody, have you anything to say?
00:43:20I? Me, sir? I swear I didn't steal it, sir.
00:43:23It was found at the bottom of your kit.
00:43:25I didn't. I couldn't. Why am I honest, sir?
00:43:28I'm afraid we can only go upon the evidence of our own actions.
00:43:30I'm sorry, Kenyon. Very sorry for you.
00:43:32But I gave you every chance to own up.
00:43:34I swear I know things. You believe me, boys, don't you?
00:43:37Yes, sir.
00:43:38Silence!
00:43:39I tell you it's a mistake, sir.
00:43:41Sergeant, place him under arrest.
00:43:43Right, sir.
00:43:53Hello, dear.
00:43:54Hello.
00:43:55Rather early, eh?
00:43:56Well, Irene wanted to do a little shopping.
00:43:58Oh, I see. Did you have a good journey?
00:44:00Yes, very dear.
00:44:07Oh, daddy, what's happened to Jack Kenyon?
00:44:09Kenyon's going to get into trouble.
00:44:11Can't you help him?
00:44:12I'm afraid it's too serious.
00:44:14What's he been doing?
00:44:15Irene, you know you shouldn't ask daddy questions.
00:44:17I'm sorry.
00:44:18Oh, that's quite all right, darling.
00:44:20Well, I'm very busy just now.
00:44:22Well, shall we go along to the hotel?
00:44:24Yes, dear. I'll follow you as soon as I possibly can.
00:44:26All right.
00:44:27Au revoir.
00:44:52Each night she's there, the maiden's prayer.
00:44:55Cannot pray long once I get there.
00:44:57Princess Lulu from the Honolulu Isles.
00:45:01And when she danced, I shouted more.
00:45:04She showed me things I'd never seen before.
00:45:06It's Princess Lulu from the Honolulu Isles.
00:45:10Oh, soldiers never die, they say.
00:45:13A week with her, they'd fade away.
00:45:15Princess Lulu from the Honolulu Isles.
00:45:19Can she can, can who can?
00:45:21She can, she's never a flop.
00:45:24See her do a fandance with two tin pans.
00:45:26What's the rush when the pan lids drop?
00:45:28She weighs about six hundred pounds.
00:45:31Rolls over twice, it is her about.
00:45:33Princess Lulu from the Honolulu Isles.
00:45:49Listen, I can't get it out of my mind about young Kenyon.
00:45:51I think somebody did it on me.
00:45:53That's what you think. He's guilty, all right.
00:45:55Well, you'll never get me to believe it.
00:45:57Let me tell you.
00:45:58Now listen, Clariforme.
00:46:00What do you keep calling me Clariforme for?
00:46:02Because you're a dope.
00:46:03I saw you last night on the Sandhills.
00:46:05Aye, I was there with an object.
00:46:07I saw her.
00:46:08She was a very nice girl.
00:46:10You know, I spent two shillings on her.
00:46:12Well, that's not much to spend on a girl.
00:46:14That's all she had.
00:46:15What are you supping?
00:46:16Mother-in-law.
00:46:17Mother-in-law, what's that?
00:46:18Golden Bitter.
00:46:19I'd like a drop of scotch myself, but I can't afford it.
00:46:21You know, I can tell the brand of any spirit simply by tasting it.
00:46:25You can tell the brand of any spirit by tasting it.
00:46:27I'll put you to the test.
00:46:28A pal of mine sent me a drop of spirit last week.
00:46:30Taste that, tell me what brand that is.
00:46:34That's petrol.
00:46:35I know, but what brand?
00:46:37Last night at Domino's you let me down.
00:46:39You had a good hand and you couldn't come down with the right one.
00:46:42Well, what should I have gone down with?
00:46:44The Grat Spain.
00:46:45The Grat Spain.
00:46:48I say, can I have a pint of beer?
00:46:49Have one of these.
00:46:50How'd you like the holiday, eh?
00:46:51Not much money.
00:46:52Good money, but you know, don't get mad.
00:46:54Good evening.
00:46:55Two pints and your bus is ruined.
00:46:57Is this yet his winery?
00:46:58You can have one yourself.
00:46:59Two ales.
00:47:02Two ales.
00:47:04Get off me foot.
00:47:07Two ales, missy.
00:47:10Two yards are enough.
00:47:13Two ales.
00:47:16Two tins of black ale.
00:47:18Darling, did I ever tell you about my forefathers?
00:47:21Oh, there's a bloke here with forefathers.
00:47:24I thought he was a well-built fella.
00:47:26You know, you wouldn't think so.
00:47:27You'd look at me as though I'm a private.
00:47:28You know, my father was a bandit.
00:47:29Aye, it's a pity his mother wasn't.
00:47:32Two bottles of grape water.
00:47:34And my dear mother.
00:47:35My mother.
00:47:36Bless her heart.
00:47:37My dear mother.
00:47:38You know she's connected to all this.
00:47:39Aye, she's been stung with a queen bee.
00:47:42Get off me foot.
00:47:45You know, I've had a marvellous education, you know.
00:47:47Two heifers and a hundred and two thousand.
00:47:49Oh, yes.
00:47:50You know, I came from right back to Oxford.
00:47:52Aye, that is my estate.
00:47:53Two quarters of the liver will soak the blood.
00:47:57Will you get off me foot.
00:47:59You know, I have a marvellous house from here, dear.
00:48:02I have a house about thirty miles from here.
00:48:05Looks like a crow's nest.
00:48:06I wish I was a crow.
00:48:08And you were a statue.
00:48:10Two tins of flint.
00:48:12Do you read much, dear?
00:48:13Have you read Shakespeare's as you like it?
00:48:15I bet she's read plenty of it where she wants it.
00:48:18I must tell you about my house, dear.
00:48:20My house in the country.
00:48:21You know, dear, it's horrible.
00:48:22You wouldn't think so, would you?
00:48:23Two winkles and we have our own pins.
00:48:25Every night, sweetheart.
00:48:27Every night at twelve o'clock a beautiful girl walks through the long grass.
00:48:31With absolutely nothing on.
00:48:33Two grass cutters.
00:48:35Oh, there's been an air raid.
00:48:38Oh, it's you again, is it?
00:48:40How are you?
00:48:42Boy, oh boy, what a dial, eh?
00:48:44What a dial.
00:48:45Let me see this.
00:48:48What's that?
00:48:49That's a cyst.
00:48:50A what?
00:48:51A cyst.
00:48:52A cyst?
00:48:53Oh, hello, hello.
00:48:54You've had too many.
00:48:55I don't think I've grown to be so very well.
00:48:57Not here.
00:48:58The saloon.
00:48:59No, no, no.
00:49:00Hold it.
00:49:01Swallow.
00:49:02That's better.
00:49:03That's better now.
00:49:04Button up.
00:49:05That's the idea.
00:49:06Come, come, come.
00:49:07All right now.
00:49:08Look at yourself.
00:49:09And look at him, too.
00:49:11What's that?
00:49:12What?
00:49:13That man came from Monkey.
00:49:14Well, you haven't come very far, have you, eh?
00:49:16Wouldn't worry me, my friend, if my grandfather was a hairy ape with a tail that long.
00:49:21No, what are you, a grandmother?
00:49:25You see?
00:49:26Are you wanting anything, sir?
00:49:28Oh, no.
00:49:29Yes, I have one.
00:49:31Yes, I'll have that.
00:49:32Make it a few, will you?
00:49:33I've got pals over here.
00:49:34A bundle of beer.
00:49:35I'll be seeing you.
00:49:41Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
00:49:45What a gift, eh, what?
00:49:47Practice makes perfect.
00:49:48Wish I could do that.
00:49:50Can't you?
00:49:51No, no.
00:49:52New writers, you know.
00:49:53Oh, I like the old writers best.
00:49:54No, this is new writers.
00:49:55Complain.
00:49:56See, I can do that.
00:49:57I can do that.
00:49:58Woo!
00:49:59Would I do that?
00:50:00Can't do that.
00:50:01You know, I must have that, because I can do that, and that, and that.
00:50:04But as soon as ever that's hard to get me hand down, oh, me elbow gets locked.
00:50:09I've noticed it.
00:50:10At his odds, by the way, you are.
00:50:12You were in the last war, were you not?
00:50:14I were.
00:50:15I did a bit of good work, too.
00:50:16I had orders to go over the top and bring back a German prisoner.
00:50:19Right.
00:50:20Yes, I got me prisoner all right.
00:50:22And brought him back to our line?
00:50:24That's just what I didn't do.
00:50:25Why?
00:50:26Well, he told me the tale about being a married man with nine kids and a mother-in-law to keep.
00:50:30His wife had run away with a lodger.
00:50:32Well, you know how soft-hearted I am.
00:50:34I hadn't a heart to take him prisoner.
00:50:36No?
00:50:37What did you do?
00:50:38I shot him.
00:50:47I've some bad news for you, Jim.
00:50:49What's that?
00:50:50Sergeant Major's coming back off sick leave.
00:50:52When at last the war is over
00:50:57And each man knows just where he stands
00:51:03We shall tell our Sergeant Major
00:51:08What he can do with his command
00:51:14Yes, then we'll see
00:51:16Our Sergeant Major, he's on the job
00:51:21Most afternoons, and we'll upset
00:51:26His rag-and-bone cock
00:51:28And we will pitch all his balloons
00:51:33He was a sport, our Sergeant Major
00:51:38And he was so fond of rugger
00:51:42And we've been told that he backs horses
00:51:47He is such a silly fellow
00:51:52He bawls and shouts
00:51:55Our Sergeant Major, he rules us with an iron rod
00:52:04There'll be no rest for us poor soldiers
00:52:11Till he goes out, underneath the fog
00:52:19Oh, yes
00:52:28Left turn, left turn
00:52:35Left turn
00:52:37Right turn
00:52:39Halt
00:52:40Left turn
00:52:41Left turn
00:52:46Drummer boy Lance Corporal Kerrion
00:52:48You're charged under the King's regulations
00:52:50In that a gold cigarette case was found in your kit bag
00:52:54The property of Bandmaster Wallace
00:52:56Stolen on the night of the boxing tournament
00:52:59Now Kerrion, in answer to this serious charge
00:53:02What have you got to say?
00:53:03I know nothing about it so long as I didn't steal it
00:53:05How is it then that the case was found in your kit bag?
00:53:08Am I honest, sir? I don't know
00:53:10Sergeant Corris
00:53:11Sir
00:53:12During your duties you come in contact a lot with the drummer boys
00:53:16What do you know about this affair?
00:53:18Nay, it's a mystery to me
00:53:19I've asked all the boys and they all swear they're innocent
00:53:22Kerrion pleaded most emphatically at the kit inspection
00:53:25So that it was not him
00:53:26That may be so, but what about the evidence?
00:53:28Now Kerrion, I have your records before me
00:53:30They are excellent
00:53:31Excuse me, sir
00:53:32It's clear as daylight
00:53:33Somebody with a knife against him put it in his kit bag
00:53:35Well, told
00:53:37Ah, I don't know
00:53:38But I've known that boy ever since he was a lad
00:53:40I think it would be sufficient punishment, sir
00:53:42If Kenyon were reduced to the rank of private and given ten days CB
00:53:45As nothing has been actually lost
00:53:47Ah, I see
00:53:48I see
00:53:49Kenyon
00:53:50You're reduced to the rank of private and sentenced to ten days CB
00:53:53But sir
00:53:54Shut up!
00:53:56Let go!
00:53:57Let go!
00:53:58Let go!
00:53:59Quick, out!
00:54:06Anybody going out?
00:54:08No
00:54:10I can't stand any more of this
00:54:12I tell you, I'm going out
00:54:13You can't
00:54:14Don't be silly, you haven't got a pass
00:54:16I should worry
00:54:17I can dodge the guards, can't I?
00:54:18I've done it before, many a time
00:54:20You'll do it once too often
00:54:21Not me
00:54:23Coming?
00:54:24No fear, not without a pass
00:54:25You've got no guts
00:54:27Just watch me, I'm off
00:54:29But mind, if any of you split on me
00:54:32Well, you're for it
00:54:33And that goes for you too, understand?
00:54:58Such body, quick!
00:55:04Is he very bad, sir?
00:55:06I'm afraid so
00:55:07These youngsters, they'll never learn sense
00:55:09Will it mean an operation, sir?
00:55:10Hard to say at the moment
00:55:11I'll decide after another examination
00:55:13I see, sir
00:55:14In the meantime, keep him very quiet
00:55:15And should he be very restless, send for me at once
00:55:18Very good, sir
00:55:19I'll be back
00:55:20I'll be back
00:55:21I'll be back
00:55:22I'll be back
00:55:23I'll be back
00:55:24I'll be back
00:55:25I'll be back
00:55:26Very good, sir
00:55:33Halt!
00:55:35Left hand
00:55:36Dismissed
00:55:39Here, Kenyon
00:55:40I want you
00:55:41Yes, Sergeant
00:55:42I thought I'd better tell you
00:55:43I saw Irene kissing another fellow last night
00:55:45You didn't
00:55:46I did
00:55:47Who was he?
00:55:48Her father
00:55:49I thought that would get you guessing
00:55:50I'd love to see Irene in the concert tonight
00:55:51Any chance of smuggling in?
00:55:52Not a hope
00:55:53You know you're on fatigue duty
00:55:54You know very well
00:55:55The card line is being punished
00:55:56for something you haven't done
00:55:57Never mind, Sonny
00:55:58There'll be plenty more concerts
00:55:59Yes, but I might not be there
00:56:01Oh, that's the case, is it?
00:56:02I suppose you've heard about Bert Smith
00:56:03being in hospital?
00:56:04Yes, I am sorry
00:56:05Knocked down by a motor car, was it he?
00:56:06Yes, and seriously hurt
00:56:07They may want a volunteer
00:56:08to give him a blood transfusion
00:56:10What about me?
00:56:11I'll go
00:56:12I knew it
00:56:13You're made of the right stuff
00:56:14I told the adjutant so
00:56:16Go on, buzz off
00:56:26Three out of your button
00:56:28I'll have to have a button
00:56:56What are you doing, Randall?
00:56:57I'm on my way back
00:56:58Oh, sorry, sir
00:56:59I was looking for a button, sir
00:57:00Go on, hurry up
00:57:01Very good, sir
00:57:02I'm in a great hurry
00:57:03Oh, it's going to be a great concert, sir
00:57:04Yes, if I don't hurry up
00:57:05I'm going to miss it
00:57:06Well, please don't worry
00:57:07The shop's here, isn't it?
00:57:08I'm afraid I've left it rather late
00:57:09Oh, I'll have you out of there
00:57:10Good
00:57:11Help me off with these
00:57:12With pleasure, sir
00:57:13Very good
00:57:14Hey!
00:57:15Be careful what you're doing
00:57:16I'm awfully sorry, sir
00:57:17That's it
00:57:18That's it
00:57:19That's it
00:57:20That's it
00:57:21That's it
00:57:22That's it
00:57:23That's it
00:57:24That's better
00:57:25Yes
00:57:26I'll help you over the leg
00:57:27I'll take two shakes
00:57:28Give me a pull, you fool
00:57:29I'll make you one
00:57:30I'm going to have a watch
00:57:31Very good
00:57:44Randall
00:57:46Randall
00:57:47Hello
00:57:48Is my tunic ready?
00:57:49I beg your pardon, sir
00:57:50Is my tunic ready?
00:57:51I'm just doing it, sir
00:57:52Good
00:57:53I'm going to go on
00:57:54Okay, how are you, cock?
00:57:55What?
00:57:56I'm doing jubbly, sir
00:57:57What then?
00:58:02Well, you ready yet?
00:58:03I've just finished it, sir
00:58:04Good, well, help me out of my coat
00:58:06Very good
00:58:08I couldn't have found you
00:58:09What are you playing at?
00:58:10Kissing the ring?
00:58:11No, of course not
00:58:12Knock on the door
00:58:13Don't play the fool, Randall
00:58:14Don't follow me about
00:58:15Get out of my coat
00:58:16Well, that was it, sir
00:58:17Yes
00:58:18Hurry up, I told you I'd be in a hurry
00:58:19I'm in a hurry
00:58:20Will you stop that playing about?
00:58:22Excuse me, sir
00:58:23What's the matter?
00:58:24Get off me foot
00:58:25I beg your pardon
00:58:26Are you all right, doctor?
00:58:27Give me my belt
00:58:28Very good, sir
00:58:29Coming up
00:58:30That's better
00:58:31That's it
00:58:32What now?
00:58:33How do I look?
00:58:34Like a lovesick weasel
00:58:35What?
00:58:36Champion
00:58:37Good
00:58:38Your hat, sir
00:58:39Thank you
00:58:40Stick that
00:58:41Well, you can go now
00:58:42Thank you
00:58:46Champion
00:58:47Give him my love
00:58:48I will and all
00:58:49Listen, son, I want you to go around to every dressing room
00:58:51and make sure that all the boys and girls have arrived
00:58:56Hello, girls
00:58:57Hello
00:58:58I feel very nervous
00:59:00That's unusual
00:59:01What's worrying you?
00:59:02Jack Kenyon, mother
00:59:03Oh, I feel sure there's been a ghastly mistake made somewhere
00:59:06Oh, perhaps it'll all come right in the end
00:59:08I hope so
00:59:09I know Jack too well
00:59:10He wouldn't do anything seriously wrong
00:59:12Come on, Irene, stop worrying
00:59:13Daddy will be awfully annoyed if you let him down
00:59:15I won't do that
00:59:16You must hurry or you'll be late
00:59:22Now then, unconscious, aren't you ready yet?
00:59:24I've been ready half an hour
00:59:25Well, I've to put the saddle on the colonel's horse
00:59:27Well, that shouldn't have taken long
00:59:29Aye, but I put it on the wrong way
00:59:31What for?
00:59:32Well, I didn't know which way you were going
00:59:34Oh, you know, you want to wear lilies in your hat
00:59:36Your brain's dead
00:59:37Anyway, the sergeant major says I'm a little thick, Jack
00:59:40Yeah, you won't hang him
00:59:43Hello, are you feeling any better?
00:59:45Just a bit
00:59:46You're a fine fella getting run over
00:59:48How did that come about?
00:59:51Well, it was my own fault
00:59:53It serves me right, I suppose
00:59:55Never mind, you'll soon be all right
00:59:58That's better now
00:59:59Try and get a little sleep
01:00:02Why, whatever's the matter?
01:00:05Well, you being so decent
01:00:07After all I've done to you
01:00:09Don't be silly
01:00:10You've done nothing against me
01:00:12Oh, yes I have
01:00:13You mean the boxing?
01:00:15Just forget it
01:00:16Why, I thought I was jolly lucky getting the verdict
01:00:20Come on, now
01:00:22That ain't very restless, sir
01:00:24He's asked for Kenyon several times
01:00:26Where's Kenyon?
01:00:27I have done so, he's inside now
01:00:31Now, it's not that
01:00:33Well, what is it, Bert? Tell me
01:00:35That cigarette case
01:00:37Yes?
01:00:39I stole it
01:00:40You? You didn't, Bert
01:00:42Yes, I did
01:00:43I put it in your kit bag to make them think it was you
01:00:46Oh, Bert, what made you do such a thing?
01:00:49I don't know
01:00:50I felt so jealous of you
01:00:52Everyone seemed to like you and hate me
01:00:55Now you'll hate me too
01:00:57No, I don't
01:00:58You'll never forgive me for what I've done
01:01:00Yes, I will
01:01:01I think I understand how hard it has been for you
01:01:03Here
01:01:07Don't, Bert
01:01:08Please
01:01:09I, I
01:01:11Everything's going to be all right
01:01:13I know it is
01:01:14Just lie quiet, and I'll come see you again tomorrow
01:01:21You'd better go now, but wait for me in the corridor
01:01:23Yes, sir
01:01:34Now, young man
01:01:35Yes, sir
01:01:36You'd better be getting ready for the concert
01:01:37Concert, sir?
01:01:38Yes, you're in the concert party
01:01:40Well, I, I was at first, but
01:01:43You'd better hurry
01:01:44Do you mean it, sir?
01:01:45Of course I mean it
01:01:46I'll see the commanding officer
01:01:47and I'll put everything in order
01:01:48Will it be all right, sir?
01:01:49Oh, don't stand arguing with me
01:01:51Be off with you
01:01:52Yes, sir
01:02:01Now then, I've done a spot of golf since I saw you last
01:02:03I'm very fond of golf
01:02:04Well, I wrote to Santa Claus last Christmas
01:02:06I said, Dear Santa
01:02:07Please put something in my stocking suitable for a golfer
01:02:09Do you know, next day I got a hole in one
01:02:11I did
01:02:12I had a very strenuous game this morning
01:02:14I got into a nasty bunker
01:02:15I turned to my caddy
01:02:16I said, By goodness, it's a rotten bunker we're in now
01:02:18He said, They've sent your bunker
01:02:19You've left the golf links now
01:02:20You're playing in the brickworks
01:02:22So I packed it in
01:02:23A nice little house, just out in the country
01:02:25Any time you're passing, pass
01:02:26Stands on a corner all by itself
01:02:28But I've had a lot of trouble with these courting couples
01:02:30Underneath my bedroom window every night
01:02:32They have me up to two or three in the morning listening to them
01:02:35There were a couple out there last night
01:02:37They've got proper vets
01:02:38I got up and threw a bucket of water over them
01:02:40The wife came in drenched
01:02:42And I've a nice bit of spare land there
01:02:44But I've not been able to do very much with it
01:02:46I met a friend of mine last summer
01:02:47He's what they call a gentleman farmer
01:02:49That's a man who milks the cows with his gloves on
01:02:51And I was telling him about this little bit of spare land of mine
01:02:53He said, Have you ever tried a bit of pig rearing?
01:02:56Well, I'll try anything once
01:02:57I said, What have you to do?
01:02:58Well, he said, Go and buy yourself two or three little pigs
01:03:00Put them on a bit of spare land
01:03:02Look after them till about a month before Christmas
01:03:04You'll find a major pound or two
01:03:06So I was walking down the country lane one day
01:03:08Outside a farm there were a notice of swine for sale
01:03:11So I knocked at the woman, the door came out
01:03:13I said, Could I see the swine, missus?
01:03:15Well, she said, He's just gone for a pint
01:03:17Come in
01:03:18Anyhow, I waited
01:03:19He came back in a couple of hours
01:03:20Then I had a deal
01:03:21I bought three lovely little pigs off him
01:03:23Here they were, little darling
01:03:24Just little ones, you know
01:03:25And I put these three little pigs on my bit of spare land
01:03:28And I looked after them till about six weeks before Christmas
01:03:30But really I couldn't keep up with them
01:03:32They were eating me out of house and home
01:03:34Three of them, never stopped eating
01:03:36I didn't mind when they were small, you know
01:03:37But they were that blooming size
01:03:39Well, you can't go on like that in times like these
01:03:41So I went back to see the farmer about it
01:03:43Mind, they were very decent
01:03:45He took them back and gave me three little ones in their place
01:03:48Hmm, I know these little ones, they're going back as well
01:03:51They're not having me for a mob, not likely
01:03:56I read in the paper they're going astray
01:03:58Getting married, you know
01:04:00Buying a book
01:04:01It said that the marriage returns had gone off
01:04:03So if any chaps here are tempted to do it
01:04:06Take some advice from a chap who's been through it
01:04:08First, ask her straight out how much money she's got
01:04:11Well, you ought to make certain of that
01:04:13Because after you're married, you'll need quite a lot
01:04:16There's nothing more certain than that
01:04:18What does she eat?
01:04:20Can she cook meat?
01:04:22Does she complain of having cold feet?
01:04:24Her heart may be warm, that's all very nice
01:04:27But if her feet's frozen, you'll want to think twice
01:04:30Well, you don't want to sleep with your kidneys on ice
01:04:34You ought to make certain of that
01:04:38Does she think she can sing?
01:04:40Or worse still, recite?
01:04:42You ought to make certain of that
01:04:44You'll suffer, me lad, if she snores in the night
01:04:47There's nothing more certain than that
01:04:49Does she take pills?
01:04:51Does she suck gills?
01:04:53Well, a woman like that rums up big bills
01:04:56Have a look at her washing hung out on the line
01:04:59Good flannel is better than crapeedy shine
01:05:02And a patch here and there's a very good sign
01:05:06You ought to make certain of that
01:05:16We're happy when the sun is shining
01:05:20It's the brightest of all time
01:05:24We're happy when the birds are singing
01:05:28It's the brightest of all time
01:05:32Singing the song of the open land
01:05:36The icing on the cake
01:05:40Singing the song that the men have belonged
01:05:44That the open land is safe
01:05:49So, this is Bertie's garden, is it?
01:05:52Oh, they must have finished all the sidewalks around here
01:05:56There's a cheeky kid up there
01:05:58He just spotted me running to his mother
01:06:01He says, come here, mother, there's a monkey up a stick's teeth
01:06:04Have you ever seen such a jitterbug in all your life?
01:06:07I don't feel so grand today
01:06:09I had some of that cheese for my breakfast
01:06:11A funny name of cheese
01:06:13Einberger or Steinberger
01:06:16You mean Limburger
01:06:18Aye, that's the burger
01:06:21Well, this hiking's very educational, mind you
01:06:25It's only till the day I found out the proper name for a dandelion
01:06:29There's a young tart bathing in the well here
01:06:33I was just going past, she was doing the breaststroke
01:06:36I says, not down there
01:06:38She looked up at me, she says
01:06:40She says, how old are you?
01:06:42I says, I'm eighty-two, blasted
01:06:44She says, well, come in
01:06:47I says, get away, I'll stab you with my pickle-tooth
01:06:54My God, I had a bit of a nice creak today
01:06:57I was going across a field with a bull in it
01:07:00It wasn't Barney's bull, either, I'll tell you
01:07:03It was a hell of a sight, facing Barney's bull
01:07:06It had a couple of prongs on it as long as the stick
01:07:09Only they were sharper than this, I'll tell you
01:07:11It came running and chomping away at me
01:07:14I thought it was apologising the way it was bowing and scraping away
01:07:18I shooed it away with my agitator
01:07:21My, oh, what did I pick him up?
01:07:24I hurriedly settled
01:07:27I copped up to a rabbit
01:07:29I had to pass it on to a gun between my legs
01:07:33I says to it, I says, hey, come on, hurry up
01:07:35We'll get out of the way, let somebody run the stand
01:07:39They're all dancing round the meadow
01:07:41On a Maypole, a summer day in the village on the
01:07:43I flashed me, I says, are you stopping to see the modest dancing?
01:07:47It's surprising what they can get these motorcars to do nowadays, isn't it?
01:07:51I joined in dancing with them
01:07:53I got dancing with a nice old lady there
01:07:56We were waltzing round and round and round
01:08:00At the finish, she says to me, can you reverse?
01:08:02I says, aye, I can, why, I ain't got anything to see
01:08:05She says, no, I'm not, but you're unscrewing me wooden leg
01:08:09Heh-heh, ah-ah-ah
01:08:12Rrrrrrrrrr
01:08:13Rrrrrrrrrr
01:08:14All slops, heh-heh
01:08:16Brrrr, ooooh, heh
01:08:19You'll have to excuse, brrr
01:08:21This dumb sharp stuff is this out of here
01:08:24I said to the landlord when I got this
01:08:26I said, it's a bit thin, mister
01:08:28Aye, he said you'd be thin if you came up the same pipes as the sailors
01:08:32Rrrrrr
01:08:34How stupid if it keeps me up all night
01:08:36Rrrrrr
01:08:39Who's this Mae West I keep hearing about?
01:08:43I believe she's a bit of a hussard, not quite.
01:08:46There's a spark or two in me yet, I'll tell you.
01:08:49Eh, well, it's only my bit of fun.
01:08:51I'm just an old fool, that's all.
01:08:54It's only the other day, I went to her funeral.
01:08:57I was coming away from the graveside.
01:09:00A chap looks at me, he says, how old are you?
01:09:02I says, I'm 82.
01:09:04Aye, he says, I don't think it's much use you going over at all.
01:09:09Eh, a young woman called down to see me the other day.
01:09:13I said, now that young woman, what do you want?
01:09:16She says, I've come collecting for the Lord.
01:09:19I said, well, you'd better give her the box to me.
01:09:21I'll be seeing him before the eve.
01:09:23Well, it'll have to be...
01:09:34I'll warn thee.
01:09:35Well, I'd better be going.
01:09:37Good day, good day.
01:09:51Oh, Jack, isn't it grand? Daddy's told me the good news.
01:09:55Started young, haven't they?
01:09:56Well, they've known one another for years.
01:09:58I'm glad that charge against Kenyon proved false.
01:10:00Yes, and nobody's more right than I am.
01:10:03Fine boys, Kenyon.
01:10:07Somewhere in England
01:10:10Can't they be no peace
01:10:14Somewhere in England
01:10:18Where my heart is longing to be
01:10:22Can't you see some day
01:10:24Oh, we're apart
01:10:26Till I know you are true
01:10:29Love that you know
01:10:31Is alive and true to you
01:10:34Somewhere in England
01:10:38Where your heart is longing to be
01:10:44Should you come across the nicest boy you've ever seen
01:10:49Of course he'll be in court
01:10:51He can't be looked upon and seen
01:10:54Please go up to him and say
01:10:57I know where you belong
01:10:59Then tell him there's a boy they know
01:11:03I'm singing this song
01:11:07Somewhere in England
01:11:11There's a boy who is in need of peace
01:11:17Somewhere in England
01:11:21Where my heart is longing to be
01:11:25Can't you see some day
01:11:27Oh, we're apart
01:11:29Till I know you are true
01:11:32Love that you know
01:11:34Is alive and true to you
01:11:37Somewhere in England
01:11:41There's a boy that is calling
01:11:45For peace
01:12:03The Beat of the Drum
01:12:15It's the beat, beat, beat of the drum
01:12:17Over land and sea
01:12:19It's the beat, beat, beat of the drum
01:12:21Calling you and me
01:12:23Resolute and strong
01:12:25We have come this far
01:12:28What is right to us
01:12:30Is freedom to us
01:12:32It's the beat of the drum
01:12:34Calling men to action
01:12:36A nation of warriors
01:12:38It's all we've got
01:12:40As long as there's an England
01:12:42The sons will always follow
01:12:45The beat of the drum
01:12:48You can hear it in the cities
01:12:50In the mountains and the dales
01:12:52The rhythm of it thrills us through and through
01:12:57And deep within our hearts
01:12:59The message that it tells
01:13:01Be brave, be steadfast, be true
01:13:05So Britons are united
01:13:07In their hearts and hearts and free
01:13:09Their banners held aloft
01:13:11That all the world, the world may see
01:13:15Be bold, be determined
01:13:17Be bold, be bold
01:13:19Be bold, be determined
01:13:21Be bold, be bold
01:13:27It's the beat, beat, beat of the drum
01:13:30Over land and sea
01:13:32It's the beat, beat, beat of the drum
01:13:34Calling you and me
01:13:36Resolute and strong
01:13:38We have come this far
01:13:41What is right to us
01:13:43Is freedom to us
01:13:45It's the beat of the drum
01:13:48Calling men to action
01:13:50A nation of warriors
01:13:52Be bold, be bold
01:13:57As long as there are England
01:14:00The sons will always follow
01:14:02The beat, beat, beat of the drum
01:14:06The drum
01:14:23Now then, open your mouths wide
01:14:25Nobody will walk in
01:14:29Somewhere in England
01:14:32There's a boy who's thinking of me
01:14:36Somewhere in England
01:14:39Where my heart is longing to be
01:14:42And it is the place where I'll walk
01:14:45Till I know you are true
01:14:47Just as you know here the life is for you
01:14:51Somewhere in England
01:14:54There's a boy that is calling to me