Con man local mayor gambles municipal treasury in a poker game and wins a broken down theatre.
Source: IMDB
Source: IMDB
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You
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00:02:12Did you have to sleep the high street in the case you're having you look at the time what's your what's a tick-tick
00:02:17Oh, it's a town club. Mr. Burr. This really isn't her the council in session and you're not there
00:02:22Well, I go to the foot of our stir get somebody else to take the chair, but I can't balance the rates
00:02:27Well in that case, I'm gonna juggle with the petty cash
00:02:30I
00:02:31'm country turned empties tenor each way fit luck funny one important sash money
00:02:35That's a throw a to carry nine fly away Peter fly away ball happens a pound bears watermelon tree
00:02:40I've not put down those plums now. It's not good. I shall have to raise the rates again
00:02:45Hello
00:02:47Speaking Oh phone call a beware. Mr. Mayor your end is in sight. What is my shirt hanging out?
00:02:54You won't hang out much longer
00:02:57For forget you
00:02:59For a spoken. I'll go and strain your cabbage water. He can't frighten me. There's you
00:03:08And I'll let me let me see where was I Oh ten Bob to come back from the dogs
00:03:12Two shillings for sick and sweet tickets and they fit. Hey, where are you going?
00:03:18That's right straight through it up the stairs
00:03:20This place is about as private as a cup final. What am I talking about? We haven't got any stable
00:03:26Hey
00:03:30Excuse well, if it isn't old ping-pong pants, what do you want?
00:03:34You give me permission to peddle on your pier. Certainly not any other town. I've been over a lot
00:03:40Well, you can't peddle here. It upsets my curriculum. Oh
00:03:43Mr. P. I feel you very nice coffee on you. Very pongy. Very sticky. No, thanks. I don't smoke. No, no, no, mr.
00:03:51What?
00:03:51You buy a nice pretty postcard very pretty lady very warm very saucy. How dare you let's have a look. No, no
00:03:59No for shillings for look. I wouldn't give you a faultless for the lot. Now go on hop it and don't darken my day
00:04:04No again, mr. On mr. What I go I come back. I don't care if you never come back
00:04:10Now back to the chisel
00:04:13These marbles are leading me up the wrong alley
00:04:16I'll try my Wall Street account
00:04:18Now let me see
00:04:19Bears bears two bears four bulls two nanny goats. I was putting if it comes down to five by 16
00:04:25Move to the right in fours
00:04:28Can I do you now, sir? Well crack me on the cranium if it isn't mrs
00:04:32Moth the child with a bottomless bucket, you know, yeah, can I ring you out sir?
00:04:35What do you think I am the old year? I think you're an old rascal sir. Ha ha you've been reading my diary
00:04:42I've brought this for you. Oh my robe of office. Help me on with it. Mrs
00:04:47Mop, I'm expecting the sons at any moment. Oh another of them nasty things. I mean from the council chamber
00:04:52I believe they wish to pay me the old then I can have me back wages
00:04:55Pay me the honor of re-electing me for a further term. Don't jump to conclusions. I go easy around Tappan corner
00:05:01I've mended the rent in the rear. Yes, and you brushed up all the banquet stains
00:05:04I shan't get any mortal after the war and they've a vintage ones too. Now, where's my chain of office?
00:05:12Something terrible's happened. Not now Sam. We haven't any time for accidents this morning. Help me to look for my chain
00:05:18We'll meet at the plow
00:05:20My chance to confine a cantering canine with your choice chain and the canine was chased by a cantankerous cat and careered quickly across the
00:05:26Corner carrying the chain conspicuously. I'll make a fun
00:05:31Can't you ever make a dry statement?
00:05:32You mean you tied a dog to the end of my chain of office in his carpet show boss. Am I humiliated?
00:05:37Am I undone but the dog boss? I don't want to put on the dog
00:05:41I want to put on me chain, but the dog forgot to leave the chain behind when he left see
00:05:47Quick quick after him Sam and don't forget away your muscles show boss
00:05:52I'll see you at party
00:05:54Mr. Murr the shouting for you it there. I've got the whole thing clear
00:05:58What you've balanced the rates without turning a her good. I'll face them without further demur the mayor the barrier
00:06:05ah-ha
00:06:08Ah
00:06:11That's better well, come on I better take my chance with me
00:06:17Pray silence for his worship the man
00:06:23Gentlemen you may remain seated
00:06:32Nice weather we're having for this time of the year
00:06:35Well, perhaps you're right just the right stag of the wrong stag
00:06:40No II by all these presents, ah, thank you very much. I'll unveil the presents tomorrow and they'd better be good
00:06:46Members of the council are forming at the mouth
00:06:48May I be the first to congratulate you at having re-elected me as mayor for a further term? Never mind that cackle
00:06:56Now handling
00:06:57We want to know what you've done with all the money in the town's Treasury
00:07:01However, did you find out it wasn't there? I wanted it to be a surprise
00:07:05If you don't return that money at once, we'll throw you into jail
00:07:11Throw me into my own jail don't be so salivating
00:07:16I've never laughed so much as to kiss my mother-in-law with a lighted cigar in my mouth
00:07:20Gentlemen, we must place this in the hands of the police
00:07:24Mr. Town clerk, that's the superintendent
00:07:27This has gone far enough. In fact, it's gone too far by for two pennies. I'd resign as mayor
00:07:32Well gentlemen that concludes the business for today the meeting is now adjourned
00:07:57Well, I very wisely invested it in what in there in a game of poker
00:08:07Silence for his turn of the card
00:08:08I mean his worship the mayor when I said poker I really meant that I applied the rules of that ancient and dishonorable game
00:08:14to work their matters of high finance
00:08:17Gentlemen gentlemen, do my old eyes deceive me especially this one. Do I see a look of suspicion lurking on your dubious dials?
00:08:24Shame on you. You shambling shite
00:08:26Never didn't mind it. Hey, haven't you found those tables yet?
00:08:36What have you to say well with the town's money and my pack of cards foaming at the mouth
00:08:42Now owns the lease of the Olympian theater the finest theater in London
00:08:46You have the audacity to admit that you invested our money in a theater. It's right in a London theater, too
00:08:53It's a scandal. It's disgusting
00:08:55And I suppose you intend to fill it with half-clothed women carried unanimously, that's an idea panel I put on a review
00:09:02I'll call it a parley booty nude. That's French for gone with the windmill. Mr
00:09:06Hanley, if you don't return the money immediately, you'll be charged with embezzlement of municipal funds and boozlement of the full moon titiphalow
00:09:13How dare you you cad?
00:09:16Hear them out there my creditors. I mean my champion my faithful supporters the common people
00:09:22They know their man they trust their man they love their man
00:09:33But the first tomato I've tasted since they were controlled this nonsense has gone far enough, where's that superintendent?
00:09:52I got the chain
00:10:08What's it what can't get away with bus tickets, oh, they're beautiful tickets
00:10:13Just a minute this way out the mayor is trying to make a getaway stop thief dirty spy
00:10:21You'll hear from my union
00:10:35It's humiliated that's what it is boss that guy fool trying to scare you all the time
00:10:40I'll be silly Sam the station's full of all buffers like fun. Well at last we're in the money, son
00:10:45We're on our way to London like cat Whittington and he stick my Olympian theater will be a goldmine
00:10:50I should be as rich as Chris. I'll have a car a cigar and a saloon bar. I'm gonna be an impresario
00:10:55What's that boss for big noise like CB Kato?
00:10:57You know the guy that makes young ladies into chorus girls
00:11:01Puts on those famous shows like screwtop and the seven quarts and that's 69 and so what?
00:11:05What are you gonna use for money boss, but all impresarios use other people's now, where's my gas mask?
00:11:20I
00:11:33Brought this for you, sir. Oh, isn't that nice of you? What is it one of your daughter's dumplings?
00:11:37No, sir, some of me relations with Oh, why they're all old and no risk kick him about until you lose
00:11:44I'll do you later. Go and tidy the tender
00:11:47Get off and now change here for slow
00:11:52Five and nine pence and half a mark Sam as a quizzling in the choir
00:11:56Oh gee boss, we ain't got enough there for two tickets to London. What are you gonna tell the guard?
00:12:01I shall tell him if the mayor of foaming at the mouth
00:12:03He's doing his cock eyed railway a great honor by riding on it. And if he dares ask me for my ticket
00:12:08I'll punch his return half Oh
00:12:11Gee boss the guards coming now
00:12:16Here we are
00:12:18London's noblest and most magnificent temple of the draft the Olympian. Gee, it sure is a swell dump was swelled up
00:12:25It's not only Olympian. It's positively amphibian
00:12:28You know what? That means no boss
00:12:30You're quite right big future the seats have been put up to toughen sport and some six months including tax
00:12:34Anybody asked for a half ticket just beat through this porthole and see if they're kneeling down now
00:12:38Give me two free seats in the second hand program. Can't you read we're preparing a new show?
00:12:43Opening soon CB Cato presents stellar face in Hillary Craven's new musical comedy tonight or never
00:12:49Why wasn't I told about this? How dare they open soon behind my back? I'm gonna make a few changes around here
00:12:54Ah, my good man, just direct me to my office for you your office. Who you tell him Sam?
00:12:59It's Tom chip the mayor. I'm the new owner of this theater shine the change Sam. Oh
00:13:05It's just up those stairs sir, I'll go and fetch it all my office
00:13:08And remember work with diligence obey with alacrity eat with your knife and who knows one day you may be manager of the Olympian theater
00:13:24This won't do this won't do at all. I can't play my parlor games in here. What's the matter with it boys?
00:13:30Well, the floors opposite the ceiling. Everything's the wrong shape. I
00:13:33I
00:13:36Take back those words Sam those are the shape of things to come
00:13:40Sam we must try to make our office as attractive as our visitors
00:13:44Looks like a classy joint to me boss. Well in this case the joints are on Russian
00:13:50What
00:13:53You're a beauty queen I presume oh, yes when I was 16, I won an ankle competition and worked your way up
00:13:59Are you an actress now? Oh, I can act all right if I have to
00:14:03Soon as I saw this theater. I said to myself. Whoa shine the change Sam
00:14:09I'm afraid we haven't been introduced tell her Sam. This is his worship the mayor. I'm older than Henry
00:14:15Probably you thought an alderman was a much older man
00:14:18But I can assure you as a man. I'm no foe
00:14:21Cap Sam
00:14:22I'm a new owner of this theater. It's only fair to warn you. Oh, but how wonderful how simply divine
00:14:28We must have a spot of lunch together. Are you bring the spot and I'll find the corkscrew. Oh, yes
00:14:33Well, uh, ta-ta for now. I'm a very busy man, but not too busy. I'll see you later
00:14:38Now go on Sam. Come on, Sam clear all this mess up here. Let's get to work
00:14:44Wellington boot in foreign arches dreadful
00:14:50Now here's a real artist a Judy with a real punch
00:14:54Alice's must have a gasper and his company of 50 players shocking
00:15:02Yeah, not too bad my sex appeal
00:15:06Haven't I seen you in Burton's window. Ah
00:15:12She's a bit of all right Sam we leave her
00:15:15Well, the the office is looking better already. Yeah, what about this guy? I'll give him a break boss. Give him a break certainly
00:15:24She's a smasher
00:15:31Well, not so dusty I'm screwing up a bit
00:15:34Well, that's the ugliest mug of the whole lot all the marks of the born criminal. You really think so?
00:15:40Absolutely. And to Macassar one ear hangs lower than the other look I
00:15:44Seem to have seen your face before
00:15:46Now don't tell me don't tell me. Hey
00:15:50Hmm and still I don't like it
00:15:53Well, my good man, what can I do for you? I was just about to ask you the same question
00:15:57I am CB Cato the owner of this theater
00:16:01Tell him Sam. Thanks. Mr. Thomas Hanley perpetual mayor of foaming at the mouth flush the deed Sam
00:16:08Now first of all, I think I'll have the office so repainted a distemper will do if you can't get distemper get that
00:16:16You want the office repainted? Yes, might I suggest O'Donnell with an off-white ceiling? Yes in a day go running around the walls
00:16:23Then perhaps a four ale bar in this corner. Yes and for alien arty bar made in that corner
00:16:29Very well, if you want them no CB, I'm beginning to like you. Thank you
00:16:33Perhaps in time even my face will grow on you if it does I'll wear me gas mask
00:16:39Well, I think that's about everything you can go now. Yes, but there's one teeny weeny little thing we've overlooked Oh
00:16:45Oh
00:16:51What an eyesore all blitz and pieces
00:16:53Oh, I see what you mean
00:16:55Well, they're phone of the demolition squad and tell them to move all this muck and rubble the debt muck and rubble my dear sir
00:17:00Is your Olympia theater? This is the Imperial well kiss me on the catamaran. Are we mortified?
00:17:07We're in the wrong dump boss
00:17:09Oh, well, I shouldn't have blamed you even if you'd lost your temper
00:17:40She was something fantastic secured
00:17:51So, this is the Olympian theater, but push me into the pit with a pole axe
00:17:55It's more like the ruins a crumble knocked about a bit
00:18:09I
00:18:23Expected two cats, but there's three I must have been in there a long time
00:18:33This place gives me the heebie-jeebies, well, perhaps is the caretaker about somewhere
00:18:40Came away
00:18:42The dissolving door a but go easy with my theater Sam said a nervous breakdown already
00:18:52Good morning. No lovely weather. We're having I'll have some to call again. Oh, good morning. Good morning
00:19:02Who is that boss that was my pal he Archie the Phantom of the Opera. Oh you bought a pup
00:19:10I
00:19:12Take notice Sam he always walks on Friday. I'm scared boss. Let's get out of this place while we got the strength
00:19:20Are you speaking to me? Oh, yeah. Would you awfully mind coming over here?
00:19:27Well
00:19:30Now a little to your left
00:19:33Am I all right here
00:19:35Thank you
00:19:38Hey
00:19:41I'll get that guy boss up. I'll give him the words boss something phony is happening
00:19:46I needn't get me down there
00:19:50The wishing well, I've come to leave my magic spell with a hey nonny nonny and a ding-dong bell
00:19:58I'm the pity fairy of the wishing well
00:20:06Oh
00:20:07Let you mugs in
00:20:09Suffering stoats tell her Sam. You can't speak to the boss like that. He's a mayor. He's the new owner of this theater. See
00:20:19Anything amiss miss
00:20:21Yeah, it's more like an old hat
00:20:27You're the new owner
00:20:29Hey
00:20:31Hey
00:20:34Screwy it's an echo. You're chump echo. You're chump. Hello. Hello. Who's your lady friend?
00:20:44I've seen you with a gutter too. Oh
00:20:46Oh, oh, I am surprised at you. This is from speaking
00:20:53Your theater is ruined and so are you?
00:20:56For now I can catch that scoundrel I'll strangle him in his own sauerkraut
00:21:01It's humiliating. That's what it is boss. Who is this guy food? Why is he always after us who's behind him?
00:21:08If I knew Sam, I wouldn't be giving myself this headache. Anyway, I'm not worrying about funf. He's just a temporary trunk call
00:21:13Well, how far is it temporary trunk call? Oh, you would ask that. Well, look Sam say this is Biggleswade here
00:21:23Sam did you see what I saw?
00:21:26Turn around. No you turn around boss. No, I promised my grandmother. I'd never look back. Is that him?
00:21:32He said the man that robbed us robbed you. Who do you think I am? Sweeney Tom?
00:21:36He's a dirty crack. You mean dirty crook. He says he's a new governor. Right, right
00:21:40I am the new governor your worship the mayor and may I remind you as legal owner of these premises
00:21:44I shall prosecute all trespassers with the utmost rigor of the law. That's telling him boss. Hey, come on, mister
00:21:49We want no excuses you are each eight of the pound eight of the pound. What are you selling plums?
00:21:54I do not sell palms palms. You mean plums? Yes, I said palms. Listen Gary Baldy
00:22:00It's P L U M s homes. You mean plums now, please. Will you dig at the door? Come on hand over a smackers?
00:22:12Now perhaps I can explain you see we're all members of the school school. Yeah
00:22:17This is the Olympian Academy of Dramatic Art and I'm the staff pupil
00:22:21Alright, alright, alright I can act you guys off the stage and now I surprise you. I'm the guy that dropped the sandbag
00:22:28Yeah, and here's another thing. I'm the guy that says I say would you mind awfully moving over a little bit?
00:22:33Please different voice. I like the sandbag best as you bought the theater
00:22:37I'm afraid you're also responsible for the school
00:22:39I wouldn't mind teaching you a thing or two if I could but but nothing we want our money back
00:22:44What do you think? We are a lot of poopers poopers. Don't talk garlic. You mean paupers?
00:22:48You see they've paid half their fees to the old owner. Mr. Bookman. He's disappeared. Yeah, mr. Bookman the first time
00:22:54I heard that man. I said to myself. Whoa. Oh, the school's a flop a washout. Well, let me get this thing straight
00:22:59How much do I charge per term for tuition 16 pounds 60?
00:23:04Then each of you owe me eight pounds. Have you no sense of financial responsibility?
00:23:08It's perfectly panic on it. Hey you what can you teach us everything from Hamlet down to paper Terry?
00:23:14Do you know anything about the show business?
00:23:15I should think so while my dear old aunt used to wind him all these tights and only a few moments ago
00:23:20I had to tear myself away from the great CB Kato. Hey, don't I only left the stage to become mayor
00:23:28Don't tell me you've never heard of big Tom Handbell go on boss show him let's hit the trail big timer
00:23:33You've heard of the soldiers farewell I dare say and the arrow farewell to his team
00:23:50But here's a farewell a pretty farewell to also the different
00:23:55Hang all my clothes on the old clothes horse. I've been chased by the sheriff too long
00:24:06And I've walked all the way from the bung house today. So I'm singing a tender
00:24:14Hang up my saddle of mutton and bring me a chop for a change
00:24:21And wheel in the old dinner wagon cause I'm right in the kitchen
00:24:28Don't let all my pals know I'm trying they'll all think this body's gone wrong
00:24:35On the back of a chair you will find the old man cause I'm singing a tender
00:24:41Son
00:24:42Mighty fine mighty fine
00:24:44Howdy partner. Howdy meet the horse. Why that's a mighty fine mustang you got there my friend. Mighty fine money fine
00:24:52Oh, no folks before we hit the hay, how about singing a mighty fine chorus before the mighty fine campfire
00:25:00Give me the a partner
00:25:11And I've walked all the way from the bung house today so i'm singing a tender
00:25:19Hang up my saddle of mutton and bring me a chop for a change
00:25:26And wheel in the old dinner wagon
00:25:30Cause i'm right in the kitchen
00:25:41On the back of a chair
00:25:56Mighty fine mighty fine. I'll teach you all I know about that tomorrow morning. You won't take very long. Ah dancing and music
00:26:02Just like copper d. Sam
00:26:03Remind me to open up ready class. Will you can get his extra wait till they see me play sows day
00:26:08This will be your office now. Mr. Hanley what book him?
00:26:10Sam obliterate that scandal's name at lunch the moment I saw it. I said to myself. Oh, no
00:26:15Well, that'll be all ta-ta for now students
00:26:21Gray sirens for his time bond the mayor
00:26:24Friends humans pupils your future is before you. Remember the stars of today are the night lights of tomorrow place yourself in my hands
00:26:32I swear by my chain of office shine the chain Sam that each and every one of you will ascend the ladder of fame
00:26:38wrong by wrong
00:26:39Give yourselves to art art where the capital are only another eight quid and you'll have your name in lights
00:26:47Now run along students practice your party pieces loosen your larynx tighten your tights and report at 10 30 in the morning
00:26:52When we start our classes, he's a great guy
00:26:55Will you step into my parlor?
00:26:58Remind me to get some etchings Sam
00:27:01Ah something like an office
00:27:03Something mighty fine mighty fine as you're the new owner. Perhaps i'd better tell you what i've been doing my dear girl
00:27:08I'm broad-minded need we worry about how fast what is your name? I'm kitty ken secretary of the school
00:27:14Well kitty, whatever your salary is. I shall double it. I work here for nothing. Very well. I'll travel it
00:27:19You see i'm a student too, but I act as secretary instead of paying for tuition
00:27:22Well from now on you get private lessons in my public school
00:27:25I'm in the next room just ring if you wanted me for a marvelous idea. And where is the bell in your room?
00:27:31I know it's there on your desk on my bed
00:27:39Sam the moment I saw that judy I said to myself, where's that bell?
00:27:51After you claude
00:27:53No after you
00:27:55sissel
00:27:57Dancing class for beginners 10 30 tomorrow morning. What do you two belly dancers want?
00:28:00I've got a writ to it is yours for a moment board claude
00:28:05No
00:28:06Mines for disposition
00:28:07Sissel. Hey, what are you talking about? These someone's is it for wb bookum the scandal and he's hooked it. It's for his flat
00:28:13That 45 mayfair manor 700 pounds 19 and a tanner. That's right
00:28:18I wish I had as many shillings
00:28:20So we lived there two years without paying any rent today just to sort the place. I want take the address best
00:28:25Who's best boss you is liz?
00:28:28Now listen you two it's no good you giving me these wits
00:28:30They're not worth the salvage
00:28:32They're written on but once my theater's on its feet i'll be rolling in boodle and you shall have a roll with me
00:28:36Well, there's no need for us to stay
00:28:39Hey
00:28:40We'd better go
00:28:41joe
00:28:47After you claude no after you sissel come
00:28:54Well cuddle me in the council chair
00:28:5645 mayfair manor what a posh address sam. Eh, it's worth every penny of the rent
00:29:00I'll never pay from now on we live there. Oh gee boss. Can't we go back where we belong?
00:29:04We ain't got a dime before long
00:29:06You'll have all the fun and dimes you want eight quid a week from my students for a start me a chicken feed
00:29:11Oh what I could do to a chicken right now. Well, what's one name to stomach between friends? I'll rebuild the theater
00:29:16I'll put on the finest show london's ever seen i'll make hundreds of pounds thousands millions
00:29:21Where's that bell?
00:29:24Is
00:29:30We've seen every movie of mr. Crosby bought all the records we could
00:29:35And though he's hot he learned a lot when local girls make good
00:29:42Don't be so dull. We're rehearsing and all mr. Crosby
00:29:47Someday, you know where the baby's to show you a thing
00:29:50Me
00:30:04Now the rhythm's going you can hear the corner growing hidey hidey ho
00:30:08hidey ho
00:30:10Getting in condition for a wonderful audition on the radio
00:30:16If it's a break, oh you make a mistake mr. Crosby
00:30:21Can't you recall when paul was the king
00:30:27We can swing it hard sing it blue even single swing time
00:30:33Oh, mr. Crosby, we wish we could sing it like you
00:30:40Mighty fine a mighty fine
00:30:43I've never seen so many legs since the local butcher shop was closed. Well gather around everybody gather around sam
00:30:48Open up the office
00:30:50I have something very important. I want to tell you all I can see a magnificent future before all of you for the mere sum of
00:30:58And as we told you before you find us jobs or else there is
00:31:04I'm not talking to you you macaroni mug. Your opinion's not worth it
00:31:09What about these jobs you've been promising for a fortnight you haven't paid your fees for a fortnight see
00:31:13If you don't do something soon, i'll fetch my uncle percy
00:31:17Uncle percy I make mincemeat of uncle percy's. Oh gee boss. Could I go for some mincemeat?
00:31:22So you don't trust me after all i've done for you. Very well, then sam sam pick up the cash box
00:31:26We'll go into conference. Where's the nearest?
00:31:31Mr. Hanley, uh
00:31:33Yes
00:31:34Ah, i've got something for you bump the baby sam. Hey, listen, buddy
00:31:39You can't see the boss without an appointment. So take it easy
00:31:42I took it mighty fine. Let that be a lesson to your students
00:31:47Take this sam
00:31:48Wait till you get a load of what i've cooked up for. Oh gee boss must use that wide. Good morning
00:31:53Good morning. Nice day. No, you'd like to buy a nice lamppost in perfect condition, wouldn't you?
00:31:57No, just stick it up in front of the house. What's the good of a lamppost in the blackout?
00:32:00Oh, this one's all right invisible light. You'll never see it after dark. Well, i'm gonna find my way home
00:32:05Oh ask a priest. That's a good idea, sir. One lamppost
00:32:09Three pounds 13 and six pounds sign, please. Yeah
00:32:12Thank you. Okay. Good morning. Good morning. Nice day. Yeah, that must have been alec trish in the gas man
00:32:18You want to watch that guy boss? It might be food. Oh nonsense
00:32:23Mister it's me knife. I tell you it's me knife. Hey, will you stay where you are? Come on? Hey
00:32:29Do you do it? What's the matter with you?
00:32:31I'm only trying to get the boss's attention. Well, you're safe with bullets. Nobody give me a break over here, mister
00:32:36Why over home in chicago, even the cops couldn't catch me. I changed my character to quicksy like this
00:32:43I ain't got a million a different face for every voice a different voice for every face
00:32:49I'm colossal i'm still printed
00:32:53Oh, here's another one catch us while you wait you ready get a load of this will you look at that
00:32:58That was a lovely watch. That was a lovely watch the 14 jewel in his leave all semi hunter
00:33:03Silver guaranteed salt the bin buckle all stitched in every hole jeweled in every link. I'll take them water poop
00:33:09I don't know if they may watch the price of five nor four nor three
00:33:13All the answer day one half a crown 30 cup of kind help those ones up. No, no, no
00:33:18I've just bought a lamppost. Anyway, come to my office tomorrow and impersonate a student giving me eight guineas
00:33:23Oh, thanks a lot, sir. You're a great guy a great guy
00:33:27Ever since I joined up with you. I ain't afraid of nothing
00:33:32It's my noise it's my noise
00:33:36Well slap me on the jetty with the jellyfish that guy must be nuts
00:33:43So here you are handling yes here today and gone this second
00:33:47Excuse please. Mr
00:33:48I feel you're very pretty postal card. I've seen them all
00:33:52Well, mister, I show you very pretty person carpet for theater. No, listen, could you show me the indian road?
00:33:57Just a moment hanley, what's your mr, please I show you very pretty postcard you like
00:34:03Very risky very saucy. Go on. Try one. No, thank you
00:34:10All right, I'll go I'll come back
00:34:15Now hanley, let's get down to brass tacks. Yes. All right, sir. Certainly certainly
00:34:21Do you gentlemen like cigars?
00:34:23Good
00:34:24Well, just put a few in here. Will you i'm collecting them?
00:34:25Now stop fooling hanley and understand this if the town's money isn't paid in full
00:34:29We'll jail you and close both theater and school close down the school
00:34:34I don't know who you are, but I think you ought to be ashamed of yourself when I think how mr
00:34:37Hanley is sacrificing himself
00:34:40Oh true
00:34:41Devoting all his skill and knowledge. Oh very true never sparing himself for a moment to make our school a success. Oh, dear
00:34:48Perhaps we better defer putting the man in stir
00:34:50Oh
00:34:53Do you think so, mr. Townslot
00:34:55Well, if I thought there was any chance of hanley repaying the money, but uh, all he needs is time what time?
00:35:02Oh, oh, yes. I see what you mean. Uh, gentlemen, i'm expecting to close a colossal deal this very afternoon
00:35:08What you doubt my words very well then sam get me cb kato on the phone now
00:35:14But boss, I I thought you wasn't gonna get kato on the phone. Oh, okay boss
00:35:18Well, I suppose you've all heard of cb kato
00:35:21Who hasn't?
00:35:22Why do you actually know him as well as I know the water on my wishbone?
00:35:25Now I want you all to listen to this historic conversation. I expect to put over the biggest theatrical deal in history
00:35:31Here titch you have a do too
00:35:33Okay, boss cb kato's on the line
00:35:37Hello, tommy you old rascal
00:35:39How about having dinner with me tonight? I'll just look at my engagement book. I'm up to my neck in it these days, you know
00:35:44Oh
00:35:47He's talking to cb kato now so quietly now i've given a good deal of thought to the whole proposition and here is my final word
00:35:53If we agree to put on the hillary craven play, I must have at least 50 of the profits
00:35:58That's okay by me. Tommy old boy
00:36:01We ought to make a hundred thousand easily. Is that all?
00:36:04Well, I wouldn't have gone to all this trouble if I'd known however, i've given my word
00:36:09Thanks doc. I knew I could rely on you. You'd never let a pal down
00:36:13But the super matter of casting the show
00:36:16Oh, don't give it another thought cb. My students are marvelous. That's good. We need new blood
00:36:22I'll give them all star parts
00:36:24Those who pay to that he is poor. Yeah, okay cb every student that stands by me will be rewarded
00:36:30Hello tommy you old rascal
00:36:33How about having dinner with me tonight? I thought we'd settled all this before
00:36:37Of course tommy
00:36:39tommy
00:36:40tommy
00:36:42tommy
00:36:44We need new blood
00:36:46blood
00:36:48blood
00:36:49Blood. Well, I think the uh, best way to explain the whole thing. It's quite simple or we have to
00:37:01Don valentino, where have you been? Oh don valentino. Don't tell a lie
00:37:06It's plainly sino machuca vino has brought that naughty look to your eye don valentino
00:37:13You're very mean. Oh, will you ever learn to act right?
00:37:17You never wanna come home to donna till that cantina is closed for the night
00:37:23although
00:37:25You know
00:37:27I love you so
00:37:30You so and so
00:37:33I'll change the sino and go to reno to tell the judge how wicked you are
00:37:39Don, valentino you jumping vino if you've a serenade that's new time. You started to practice it on your guitar
00:37:47Yes, that's out and the place postponed. It's your fault mine
00:37:50Yes for walking out with that drunken playwright husband of yours. You've got to go back to him
00:37:53Not me. I gave him the best chance of my life in our six months of marriage
00:37:57Yes, but he's gone to pieces. All I got so far is a title not a line of the plays
00:38:00Give me not a line. Look at these
00:38:02Costumes design sets made not a line and that's not all five thousand pounds
00:38:06I've advanced that human body bet on the promise of the play. Oh cb you're beginning to bore me
00:38:11Hillary may be a source, but you made a packet out of his plays, huh?
00:38:14Well, i'll get that play out of hillary craven somehow and he won't be a painless extraction
00:38:17I'll this has just come from hillary craven. Ah the play
00:38:21He's come to his senses at last
00:38:24His research library
00:38:28Write it yourself sucker
00:38:31But what do you want us to do with all our beautiful designs, mr
00:38:34Cato stella do you mind going out while I tell him?
00:38:38Now look here you
00:38:43Oh gee boss i'm so hungry I feel as if my stomach was full of butterflies
00:38:47Let's beat it back home boss nonsense sam
00:38:49I'm hungry too, but I see a fortune awaiting me in the theater and i'm going right after it
00:38:53I've got the bit between me teeth. I wish I had a bit between mine. All I need is wider scope
00:38:57No obstacles should bar my way
00:38:59Oh, I beg your pardon madam. I didn't see you with your mouth open now
00:39:02Then sam slip back to the theater and get my robe of office. Okay, boss
00:39:06Lummi a flash in japan
00:39:09Yes, they're open all night
00:39:11Oh, there's only room for one at a time
00:39:14Now I haven't any change ask the attendant
00:39:18Well, press button b and get your money back. Oh, thanks a lot
00:39:21I mean, thank you
00:39:22So it's you is it go on take him out. I know you he couldn't bluff a bobby in the blackout
00:39:26Gee, i'd be the finest character actor in the world except for one thing. What's that? It's my knives. I tell you it's my knife
00:39:34I'll be bumping into gobles next
00:39:38My haven't you grown oh, I beg your pardon sir, could you oblige me with the light, huh?
00:39:44Here you are
00:39:47Henley the very man I want to see fennel the funnel now commenced henley come back here
00:39:54Come back
00:39:58Here
00:40:00I know that voice
00:40:01It's him uncle percy. Oh, it is is it i've got a bone to pick with you. I'll just go and get the mat
00:40:07After you come back
00:40:10Henley, hey
00:40:14Henley
00:40:23So
00:40:41Drop those chips
00:40:43This is his alone bar news and this is herman fun reading it now
00:40:49A man named henley is stealing potato chips from the minimart bar
00:40:58Excuse me, sir. Goodbye. Mr. Chips. Can I get your drink sir? Uh, no, thanks. No, i've not finished this one yet
00:41:05Thank you very much
00:41:19So
00:41:26Excuse me, mister
00:41:28Well, if it isn't dan dan the peddling man, you buy a nice bottle of perfume for pretty lady
00:41:33Very strong very pony sell it to the barman. There's an awful aroma around here. Oh, that's not barman. That's me
00:41:39You buy perfume no, no
00:41:41Oh, please listen, and I don't want any of those either. Oh, very mustard very pepper after my insomnia now go on
00:41:48Hop it before I fling your face on the floor
00:41:50Come on outside. All right. All right, I go
00:41:55I come back. Come on. All right. All right. I go I go
00:42:00Go on outside
00:42:10There is uncle percy
00:42:13You
00:42:16You're handly I believe that's right. I'm very pleased to meet you
00:42:22I feel like a dead end kid. What about my niece? Why are they troubling you again?
00:42:27Oh your niece oh daisy, oh
00:42:30Favorite of mine very promising pupil. Uh, shall we drink to her future? Oh
00:42:35Well, I am sort of thirsty
00:42:37rather early for the cuckoo
00:42:40Well gentlemen, yes, I I see by your shoulder badges that you belong to an honorable corps I got badges on my uniform, too
00:42:46Oh
00:42:46Yours are for the commandos but mine. Ah, mine. What's yours a teeny weeny double scotch double scotch
00:42:52Yes, sir. And what's yours sir?
00:42:54I better have the same very good, sir
00:42:57Sick shooting, sir
00:42:59Well, cheer you up
00:43:03Ah lovely top of breakfast I needed that I've had a very full day on an empty tummy
00:43:08I seem to have seen you before somewhere
00:43:11Did we meet the other night down at the chabin chabin what chabin same again? I'll be another six shooting, sir
00:43:18What a common pub
00:43:25Ah, well gentlemen, I must oh, no, you don't yeah, don't run after me who do you think's frightened of you you are
00:43:31Yes, I know I am but you know of anybody else i'm looking after my niece. See you pinched eight pounds for that
00:43:38You promised her the earth didn't you?
00:43:40Well, I want that eight quid back see
00:43:43Trouble is I don't have my own strength
00:43:45Here i'll show you something
00:43:48Watch this
00:43:51Yes, sir, uh, the gentleman wants another round very good sir, that'll be another six shooting
00:43:56My dear sir, your niece's future is my greatest concern by only this afternoon
00:44:00I was talking about it to the great cb kato. Yeah, I heard on a gramophone record, you know kato
00:44:06I know them all kato cochran george black knoll coward hillary craven hillary craven why he's one of my best pals
00:44:13We've stuck together through thick and clear. Do you know he's actually promised to write a new play for your niece?
00:44:19And how about buying him a drink? Hey, don't butt in old boy. I'm busy with a client a liqueur brandy joe
00:44:25I think you're fair enough. Mr. Craven. I think so too
00:44:28Mr. Craven damn be he who first cries out
00:44:31enough
00:44:34You're buying hillary a drink aren't you old pal? Well, i'll fall through the fan light on me flapjack hillary
00:44:41Fancy meeting you here
00:44:44You know your old pal tom, don't you?
00:44:46Tom tom the piper's son stole a pig in a way you ran
00:44:51What did you do with that pig hey your dirty crew, um, I gave it away for a pot of ferns
00:44:56uncle percy
00:44:57Meet my old friend hillary craven pleased i'm sure
00:45:01He doesn't know his own strength first show him that trick with the nail want me to do the same again
00:45:06You heard that the same again, please same again and a liqueur brandy for me joe
00:45:10Suffering cats. Well now that our dear daisy's well set on the road to fame
00:45:14You'll excuse me if I go into conference with uh, mr
00:45:16Craven, will you all right, but you'd better do right by her or else that'll be another change hearing, sir
00:45:26You poor fish you did not to be allowed out alone
00:45:31Well, should we have a drink at the bar? No, there's a table over there
00:45:34Well, I can do with a drink. I can tell you when I say a drink. I mean a drink
00:45:38You're still burnt up about hillary walking out on you. I'm used to it by now
00:45:45Here yeah, they followed me who is pomp after you too
00:45:50It's the ingratitude that gets me
00:45:52When I think of all i've done for that rat of a husband of yours and he hasn't written a line. Did you hear that?
00:45:57Shh
00:45:59I haven't written a line. Eh, that's all he knows
00:46:03The best play i've ever written all finished except the last scene
00:46:08Hillary craven plays worth dough
00:46:11What do we do now find another play
00:46:13Hillary craven's not the only scribbler on the stage
00:46:16Did you hear that scribbler? Hey
00:46:19You know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna tear it into tiny pieces and throw it in kato's face
00:46:23Anyway, i've got one satisfaction i've been to scotland yard. The police are after him now
00:46:29I'm, not gonna let that souse chisel five thousand pounds out of me
00:46:41You're waiting the fire watcher, okay
00:46:44Come on
00:46:47They are lifts out of order, come on, let's get a drink now you don't want any more i'll give you a lift
00:46:51Oh, you'll give me a lift, eh, come on taxi up to daisy
00:46:57I'll be finished before your play. Oh, that'll never be finished. What's so good? I shan't get any more money out of kato
00:47:08If you were to finish this play you could sign it with another name and I could take it to kato
00:47:14And test him for another advance. Oh boy. What an idea i'll finish it right now. Don't write it on my back
00:47:21Come on, and remember we go 50 50. That's the bet
00:47:26I'll start work right away
00:47:28Get me a piano and a typewriter. I'm good
00:47:34Princess priscilla attended by her maids of honor appears in the royal bedchamber
00:47:41She awaits the entrance of prince rudolph
00:47:43You got that? Yes
00:47:46She asked herself a question
00:47:48Must she endure the embraces of a man? She does not love
00:47:52Sadly she sings to herself. I must get that song finished
00:48:06Around the corner
00:48:22Is
00:48:47Push it from the back
00:48:52Why
00:49:15I've played the back legs of a horse before never the front legs of a piano
00:49:19Gee boss, I wish he played the piccolo
00:49:21I wish he played the piccolo
00:49:26Got it, I've got it
00:49:30Just for tonight my soul will sing with rapture
00:49:48Just for tonight
00:49:52My longing heart will capture
00:49:57Love's thrilling kiss before the stars
00:50:02Take flight
00:50:04Will he be handsome and charming?
00:50:08Eyes with love
00:50:15As he seemed
00:50:22Is
00:50:41Well, that brings us into the finale it's terrific far better than anything that drunken husband of yours ever wrote it's wonderful wonderful
00:50:47It's sensational just imagine hillary craven's face when I present this show at the imperial theater who wrote it
00:50:52Well a fellow called beamish and we've heard of him
00:50:54Uh, you might get me ben beamish on the telephone. Will you gerard 2626? I want him here at once
00:51:05Good morning, good heavens nice day. No, can I sell you my patent delayed action fountain pen delayed action?
00:51:10Yes delayed action anything you write with it disappears in a few moments. That's handly just my handwriting
00:51:15Yes, definitely an absolute specific against breach of promise actions. Uh, ten shillings, please. I'll give you an i-o-u
00:51:21Oh, here's the pen and there's the pen
00:51:24I owe you
00:51:25Ten shillings. Thank you. I'll call again. Oh, good morning. Good morning. Nice day
00:51:33Good heavens it works
00:51:39I say I say what's going on here?
00:51:41I've got my receipt for the first installment
00:51:43If we can't get the money out of you, we'll get it out of your furniture
00:51:46I'd love to dangle you on my chain of office. Come on out of my way
00:51:51Here, what is all this bring those things back?
00:51:54What's the big idea pay these kids their cash and you can have this stuff back sam. Sam. Where's my bodyguard?
00:52:01Shall I show him uncle person? Yeah show him
00:52:07All right, sam don't speak with your mouth full
00:52:09I know something terrible's happened. He's made of us a laughing stick laughing stick. You mean a goatscape idiota?
00:52:15Thanks very much after you close. No after you
00:52:20Ah, these gentlemen will have something to say here tell this guy can't move my furniture. It doesn't belong to me
00:52:25Well now the law says
00:52:28What does the law say?
00:52:31After you
00:52:33Now let that be a lesson to you
00:52:36I'll take it
00:52:40Hello who
00:52:43Beamish
00:52:44Anyone here named beamish? No, there's nobody here named. Oh, sorry. Sorry
00:52:48Beamish beamish. Well, that's the man I represent. Hello
00:52:52Who is it?
00:52:54cb kato
00:52:56Yeah, hold that for a minute. Will you cb kato? Huh? Once more I push our legs
00:53:02It is cb kato. Yeah, give me that phone quick
00:53:05Hello, yes, hello old man
00:53:08Yes, I want to have a word with you about your play. You like it cb?
00:53:11You want to produce it cb?
00:53:14You pay me advance royalties cb
00:53:16Right. I'll be over right away cb. That was okay. Is this on my level handly?
00:53:20Are you really going to see kato those who don't believe me come and see for themselves? Okay, we will all right
00:53:26I hope it is really kato. I hope it's from the heart of my stomach. Don't be so bellicose hang around sam
00:53:32I'll see you later
00:53:42Now in one moment all your doubts will be relieved and you can apologize when I come out
00:53:47Hey just a minute
00:53:49Ah, well here I am cb
00:53:53You
00:53:56Oh
00:54:01Just uh practicing a little adagio dance i'll be out in a minute. I bet he will
00:54:06Now listen cb you made a great mistake. Yes, I did this time you're going out of the window
00:54:11Well, if I do i'll take my play with me and you'll get no princess for tonight or any other night your play
00:54:16Did you really write princess for tonight?
00:54:18Well, I uh, ah, now don't be modest. I know a genius when I meet one
00:54:22Do you my dear sir, I didn't realize, you know, I thought you were someone else
00:54:27Won't you sit down? Thanks very much. Thank you and uh and have a cigar. Oh, thank you. Thank you
00:54:31This is my leading lady. Mr. Laferris. What a beautiful production. May I ring up your curtain?
00:54:37You know, I have your contract already a cb never allows the grass to ground his feet neither do I tickles my instep
00:54:43If kato throws him out again, i'll throw him back
00:54:49Advance on royalties 200 pounds
00:54:52You are thanks very much. May I offer you my congratulations? Mr. Beamish. Oh, i'm not beamish. I'm tommy handley
00:54:57Then why did you say you wrote the play? I didn't say I wrote the play. I said I represent beamish
00:55:01I'm his manager. Well, I won't have any truck with agents the deal's off now get out
00:55:04Oh, but just a minute if i'd been beamish you'd have given me the check
00:55:08That's who it's made out to well as a matter of fact, you are beamish. There you are cb
00:55:12I knew it all the time. Well, why didn't you say so? Oh just a matter of civic dignity
00:55:17I had to use amalgamate for what? Oh, well, i'll soon write you another check, uh to um thomas handley. Oh, yes
00:55:22Don't forget to adopt the why
00:55:26He must have killed him kato's got in first
00:55:31Well, tommy i'm glad everything is settled. Yeah. Goodbye. Mr. Handley. Goodbye together. We'll go very far. I hope we get back in time
00:55:37You must come down to the theater this afternoon. Yeah time is getting short and we must start casting
00:55:40That's right cb. We must have a good cast the best that money can buy. Goodbye. Goodbye
00:55:47There is going to be a play my play a tommy handley masterpiece
00:55:51I'm, just going around to the bank now to cash this check for 200 pounds advance royalties
00:55:55Come around with me and you can have that 48 pounds. I'm supposed to owe you
00:55:58Oh
00:56:15How would you like this money, uh quickly, oh, I see what you mean
00:56:18Well a few twenties tenors and fivers and rest in happiness for tips. Yes, but you haven't endorsed the check. Mr
00:56:23Handley. Oh, yes, I have oh boy
00:56:25I
00:56:26Oh, yes, I see
00:56:27Oh, well, perhaps I'd better use your pay. Yes
00:56:30I'll attend to mr. Handley, right, sir
00:56:33Lovely day we're having today. I'm just drawing out a little money for pontoon. I mean the petty cash. Oh, yes
00:56:38200 pounds
00:56:40On the school account, I believe that's right
00:56:42Thank you. Mr. Handley very thoughtful of you just about cover the school's overdraft with us. Oh, oh
00:56:48But you you can't take all that money. Mr. Bram's bottom. It doesn't belong to me
00:56:52It's got your name on it. That's good enough for us
00:56:55Oh, I see
00:56:58Uh, thank you very much. Very much. Mr. Ramspotting. Yes, it'll be quite safe in in this pocket. Good morning. Nice day
00:57:05On second thoughts i'm going to give you all another chance. I won't insist on paying back your paltry eight pounds
00:57:10Well, don't be late for the class in the morning. Ta-ta for now
00:57:12Just a moment since you've kept the students on I take it that'll all be in the show
00:57:16Oh, I wouldn't say that you will say that in writing on the bottom of these contracts
00:57:20You put your signify on this spotted line. Well, just what are these contracts giving them all principal parts in your new play?
00:57:27Sign those contracts now or i'm going to start invasion exercises. Oh
00:57:32I
00:57:33Yes. All right. I'll sign them only too delighted. Here's a pen. No, thank you. I have my own fountain pen
00:57:48Thank you, we'll give your name to that chap sitting at the desk
00:57:58Oh
00:58:02Now this is the way
00:58:07Three more that's eight and six
00:58:15Thank you very much
00:58:21Worse than that uncle percy in his game
00:58:28Mr. Cato
00:58:29What's the meaning of this george? Why'd you let these people in because I couldn't keep them out, sir
00:58:33Well, what do you want parts in this show for these boys and girls ridiculous? The show is already cast
00:58:37I'll say it is these kids have all got contracts signed by handley
00:58:42What oh, we'll soon see about that handley
00:58:45handley
00:58:47What the devil do you mean by wasting my time there are no signatures on these contracts
00:58:53But we saw handley sign them
00:58:55He's done it on us he must have used the incredible ink nothing at all
00:58:59Nothing at all. I'll fix handley for this. Well now get out of my theater all of you go on get out
00:59:04Yeah, I want to play hammers in my bed
00:59:07See these people off the premises. Will you ah, that's got rid of them. Come on sam back to work
00:59:15Lovey the jackpot
00:59:25You
00:59:27I'm fed up with this writing writing all the time and not a drop to drink
00:59:32And where is that advanced payment you were supposed to get I told you before i'm getting it tonight tonight
00:59:36You've said that every night for the past three weeks and now you've got an address suit tonight
00:59:41Cato's, uh bringing along his backers. I've got to look my best haven't I and the better I look the more you'll get look here
00:59:47Princess for tonight is the best play i've ever written and I was a fool to let you try and sell it for me
00:59:52Now get out of my clothes i'm getting out now hillary hillary don't do anything rash
00:59:56If you leave here your postal address will be dark boy. Now be a good boy and see what daddy's brought you
01:00:02Flash the bottle aristotle
01:00:04Ah
01:00:08If we're not back in a week's time don't wait up
01:00:12Princess for tonight is the most elaborate premiere since the war began and looking around I can see this foyer
01:00:17Absolutely thronged with celebrities and now coming in through the door
01:00:21Yes, it is the world's greatest playwright
01:00:27What a pleasure to see you here
01:00:31Mr. Shaw good evening, sir. Would you care to say a few words? I rarely attend first nights except of course my own
01:00:37They're really the only ones worth seeing
01:00:40Though I have been told this one is exceptionally bad, but you are going to see it. Mr. Shaw
01:00:45Not bloody likely
01:00:50Yeah
01:00:52Are you sure i'm certain well i'm not
01:00:55Aha still trying to fool me with your phony faces. It's my nose
01:01:01It's his noise
01:01:03And now I want to introduce to you a very famous man to say a few words a man whose genius has done so much
01:01:08For the british theatre. Thank you very much. Hello folks. This is his worship the mayor speaking
01:01:12Now some children are born with silver spoons in their mouths
01:01:15I was born with a fountain pen in my fist
01:01:17The idea of this play came to me when I was having a blow on the front
01:01:20I wrote it with a hairpin on a piece of fried bread. And now here's the fat stock prices. Excuse me, my man
01:01:25I'm due around the back
01:01:26Mr. Hanley, mr. Hanley. I've got something here for you pump the bale of sand
01:01:35Give me give me three applause for his worship the mayor
01:01:50Sam sam, i've got a stiff neck. Hey boss, you've got your chain in a chunk of chandelier
01:01:56Thank you, sam. That's beyond a choke
01:02:03You buy pretty program very wicked very warm, but this is for another play
01:02:08Much better very here very scare him to dare him to bear him, you know about program
01:02:13No, i've got a touch of the tapioca pity. Yeah, you can I see your ticket? No ticket only program you buy
01:02:19Come on outside. Come on. All right
01:02:22I go
01:02:23Would you come back? No, no, come back pity
01:02:28Beware, mr. Mayor your show will be a flopper room. You have been born one has spoken
01:02:36I've got his connection sam this time. I'll get him boss. I'll mow him down
01:02:42Can I do your nails well dust my dickie with the dishcloth mrs
01:02:46Mom, have you been charting a buckingham palace? Oh, i've brought this for you, sir. Oh
01:02:51Isn't that nice? I made it out of my own head, sir
01:02:54I hope you've taken the hairpins out. It should have been here five, but I couldn't catch the eel
01:02:59Any vinegar sam? No boss
01:03:01But I got the salt and pepper. Oh good
01:03:04Thanks very much
01:03:07What did you stop this with salvage that's just all shoe for luck, sir
01:03:12Set off for now youth takes a bow. Ah, well sam perhaps it's all she'll bring me luck
01:03:26Boss boss
01:03:30Don't make a noise like a motorboat
01:03:32All right. I'll come quietly
01:03:34Why councillor fennel you're as welcome as a gumball on the glottis. Uh, you've come to see my show, of course we have
01:03:40Oh, well lucky you well, how are things going at palming at the mouth? All right, eh, I bet they're missing their mayor
01:03:44Well this time you won't be missed
01:03:47Superintendent has a warrant for your arrest and if the show is not a success
01:03:51The balloon I mean the curtain's just going up. So make yourself
01:04:09So
01:04:21Here we are backstage and speaking from the wings I can tell you that the curtain's just gone up on the budapest nightclub scene
01:04:34One son of bliss
01:04:40Just for tonight my longing heart will
01:04:53Will he be handsome and charming eyes with love
01:05:10My music my words my wife
01:05:18You're listening to princess for tonight written and composed by thomas henry a newly discovered genius of the theater
01:05:25the rat
01:05:26the double-crossing cook
01:05:40When I awake
01:05:48My soul will sing with rapture
01:05:52One song of bliss
01:06:02My longing heart
01:06:09Ah
01:06:13Now I've talked to all I know about unarmed combat go to it
01:06:17It's a cinch. We'll give them the works. This is my big chance
01:06:33Them students they got me scared. Why ain't they done something after that trick you did to them with the fountain pen?
01:06:39Oh, probably some strange power I have over
01:06:42Hello kitty you're late. Come and sit close to me. I may want to dictate a letter to you
01:06:46Mr. Hanley something terrible has happened. Hey, you're swiping my line
01:06:49Your students were all on the stage at the olympian theater. No, they disappeared
01:06:52They must have been drinking the ink out of my fountain pen. I'll bet they're out to do you some dirty tricks boss
01:06:56They're out to get you nonsense. I'll have the meeting out of my hands. Oh gee boss eating
01:07:09So
01:07:12So
01:07:37What the
01:07:41Oh
01:07:55Why certainly
01:08:01What do you think you're doing
01:08:12So
01:08:32Good morning. Nice day. Good morning. I'll call again. I always find the world. Okay and hail or snow already
01:08:38Go home and tell your mother she should keep you on the chase
01:08:41Good morning. Nice day. Good morning. I'll call again
01:08:56Very good, wasn't he? Even if it was a bit awkward for miss blandish, I mean ferris
01:09:01How did that mug get on the stage?
01:09:03Hmm
01:09:09What the devil's going on here, where is everyone
01:09:18What's the meaning of this get up you old drunk
01:09:20Ah
01:09:28Ah now now the show really begins the big undressing number my own idea sam
01:09:39Remind me to open a cafe striptease sickness with shrimp snipers
01:09:50Oh
01:10:02Don't be common
01:10:04Kitty you must understudy this number. We'll start rehearsals tomorrow
01:10:10Gosh you swindler come outside and be murdered
01:10:20So
01:10:45Let me out did you hear I gotta go on
01:10:51Oh
01:11:02I used to make me
01:11:20My foolish
01:11:50So
01:12:20Foreign
01:12:43Oh
01:12:50Foreign
01:13:00My guiding star forever
01:13:20Ah
01:13:23My princess
01:13:27No, no rudolph. He must leave at once. What would his majesty say if he were to find you here?
01:13:33You must go now I wish to have him laid out
01:13:41After you claude girl after you sister
01:13:51Foreign
01:13:58Get out from under that lampshade handling
01:14:02this is
01:14:05I present a dramatic monologue written and composed by myself entitled hats off to winston churchill
01:14:14In history's pages, there's many a hero
01:14:17From judas j. Caesar to emperor nero
01:14:21His queen borussia
01:14:23And mary queen of scotland
01:14:26so
01:14:27Hats off the churchill
01:14:29the best of the lot
01:14:32There's rob royalist scotland
01:14:41Daisy goes on next it was alfred the king whose cakes got too hot
01:14:46so
01:14:48Hats off the churchill
01:14:51the best
01:15:04We
01:15:16Will be there when danger's near
01:15:22Until they all come marching back now, we've hoisted dear old glory
01:15:29Is
01:15:43Hey you guys stop my performance i'll shoot you down in flames
01:15:58He's
01:16:28So
01:16:52Ladies and gentlemen, my show has been sabotaged
01:16:56For the first time in my life, I have disappointed my friends the public
01:17:01If you will apply at the box office on your way out, you can reserve your seats for the new first night
01:17:07I
01:17:20I'll sell you pretty postal card much bigger much better. No, don't worry. Not now old man
01:17:25Not now in all my experience when tomorrow no, not even tomorrow
01:17:32Now ladies and gentlemen
01:17:37Oh
01:17:39Mr. Handley, mr. Burns
01:17:42Handley
01:18:01Ah, mr. Handley
01:18:03All right. It's a fair cop. I'll take the summons on behalf of my syndicate
01:18:08I am in power to offer you five thousand pounds for your olympian theater. What come out of there handley. Come on
01:18:20All right, it's a deal
01:18:24Son come on, come on sonny sonny. Yes, ma'am. Oh, I gotta get here
01:18:39Foreign
01:19:02Thank you, mr. Snodgrass, it's been a pleasure. Mr. Handley. Goodbye. Goodbye
01:19:06Arrest him superintendent just a minute. I have here to check for five thousand pounds
01:19:11And never let it be said that the fair name of handley has fouled the filthy name on foaming at the mouth
01:19:15Thank you. Well, I I must say you surprised me your worship. I'm afraid we've misjudged you
01:19:20you
01:19:21Why it's just a blank
01:19:24Blimey my delayed action
01:19:27Quick
01:19:32I love ballet very graceful say so now. Let me do you goody-goody
01:19:56Foreign
01:20:09After you
01:20:11Foreign
01:20:25Don't forget the diver sir, don't forget the diver i'm going down now, sir
01:20:41Foreign
01:21:11You