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😹
FunTranscript
00:00My stepbrother is hot. Don't you think? Of course, being hot is the only kind word you'll
00:21hear about him from me. He's totally not my type. The only thing that we have in common
00:27is that we're both 20 years old and that we're both living under the same roof. Watch me
00:33taunt him. What, another weekend on the couch? So what weekends are for? Couches, parties
00:43and pussies. Ugh, can you be any more disgusting? I'm just a guy's guy. Well, I'm not your guy.
00:52Clearly, you're my tightly wound stepsister. And don't you forget it. You know what,
00:57I'm going to the coffee shop. I cannot focus in here. Put the towels in the dryer, okay?
01:03When's the last time you got laid anyway? Joseph, that is none of your business.
01:10Clearly not recently. You're just jealous. Jealous of you? I get laid all the time.
01:17Ugh, yeah, because you're desperate. You just swipe right on everybody.
01:21Some effective strategy. Well, I don't need your strategies.
01:28When's the last time you brought a guy home? Clearly, whatever you're doing isn't working.
01:34Oh, you're just mad because I asked you to clean up all those plates in your room, right?
01:40Well, I don't want mice and worse, I don't want roaches.
01:43What you need is a good dig, then maybe you'd chill. I don't need to chill out. And you know
01:50what? As someone with better things to do with their time, I'm going to cut this conversation
01:54short. Things to do? Like what? Steam iron your shirts? Ugh, so what? Now I'm uptight because I
02:01take pride in my appearance? Uptight is the perfect word for you. It means you're boring,
02:07you need to get the fuck. Sex isn't everything. Why are you so obsessed with your sex life?
02:13I just think a reasonably attractive young person should take advantage.
02:18Reasonably attractive? I guess I should thank you for the compliment. You're welcome.
02:26You know what? Let's see what kind of girl is better than reasonably attractive.
02:32And for the record, I do go on dates. Sometimes. Sure.
02:39Just because I don't bring guys home doesn't mean I don't go on dates.
02:43We have rules, like no eye contact until the third date. Well, I have rules, yes, of course.
02:51Killjoy. It's called having standards. I think you're afraid. Afraid? Afraid of what?
02:59Letting loose? Getting dirty? Actually enjoying yourself? I'm not. You never
03:07cut around the lines. You do what you're supposed to always. Daddy's a little princess.
03:14Are you trying to annoy me because it's working? We like to see you all hot and bothered.
03:19Well, I can guarantee you that I'm nothing like those skinks on your phone. You're right. You're better.
03:26I am? Sure. You're here and they're not. So the only difference is that I'm here. I could be
03:33anybody else. Well, maybe not anybody, but basically. You're a pig.
03:47I'm just lucky. Lucky? You miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take.
03:53Are you hitting on me? If I am. You're not. Maybe. I'm your stepsister, dork. And a virgin.
04:01I am not a virgin. Sure, act like it. For your information, I've made many men very happy.
04:10How many? Two. Three. No, four. Right.
04:18Hey, hands off the phone, Annie. Well, I'm picky, okay?
04:21Sounds like those guys didn't make you very happy. They were fantastic lovers.
04:27What are you laughing at? Who says lovers? Maybe our boomer parents.
04:32Well, what do you prefer I say? I don't know. Hookup? Friends with benefits?
04:38Fuck buddies? Well, I'm not vulgar like you.
04:42My apologies, my queen. You know what? I'm not going to continue this conversation.
04:49Fine.
04:54I want to go to bed. It's noon.
04:58And as exciting as this conversation is, I'd rather nap.
05:18Five, four, three.
05:23You can't just blow me off like that. I didn't blow you off. I thought the conversation was over.
05:31You're really rude. You're serious?
05:42I don't know why you aim to hurt my feelings.
05:45I'm sorry. I was bored. I don't know. I shouldn't have taken it out on you.
05:50It's fine. I forgive you.
05:53You do know that you started it, right?
05:57What? I'm serious. You act like I'm some kind of loser or something. So what if I work from home?
06:05You're right. I guess I am kind of a little jealous about that.
06:09But still, you could try to be a little nicer to me.
06:12I shouldn't have called you a virgin.
06:16Thanks. I forgive you.
06:19Thanks?
06:20And you're right.
06:23I am? About what?
06:26It's been a long time.
06:30A long time?
06:32Since I made love.
06:35Since what?
06:37Since I made love, you idiot.
06:43I don't want anyone to hear us.
06:48They're not home.
06:49They might be home any second.
06:51I don't think they'd really care.
06:53Mom has been badgering me for weeks about getting a boyfriend and
06:57all of a sudden it's like she's given up on me.
07:01And then Dad, he sat me down the other week and told me it'd be totally okay if I were a lesbian.
07:08Are you?
07:09No. But sometimes I wish I were.
07:13Really? Why?
07:15I find guys, I mean men, to be complicated.
07:22You really are nuts.
07:23No, I really mean it. I mean, how can guys just sit on the couch all day long
07:27swiping on girls that they don't even know?
07:30It's easy.
07:31No, it's too easy. And I'm not easy. Nothing I do is easy.
07:37You could always learn.
07:39I'm not sure I can.
07:41Sure, look.
07:45See? Easy.
07:46You surprised me.
07:48Yeah, but did it feel wrong?
07:51No, it felt good.
07:54Exactly. Now imagine I'm some other man. Some complicated man.
08:00Mysterious, deep, a man with layers.
08:05Whatever. Just lean in and kiss the other guy.
08:11I can't.
08:13Try.
08:17Just pretend, Annie.
08:35I can't believe I just did that.
08:42I can't believe it either.
08:43It was just a test. It doesn't even mean anything.
08:46I didn't think it did.
08:48So wrong. So horribly wrong in every way.
08:50Oh, yes. So bad. So wrong.
08:54You're making fun of me. You're still making fun of me.
08:58Lovingly.
08:59Really?
09:00It's a defense mechanism.
09:03What are you defending yourself against?
09:08Believe it or not, my feelings.
09:11Yeah, right. I don't believe it.
09:14Put yourself in my position.
09:16A beautiful girl locks herself in your room, kisses you on the mouth,
09:21knowing very well you're horny.
09:23I hate that word.
09:25Horny? Do you have a word you prefer?
09:32See why I have to resort to humor?
09:38I didn't mean to get you all worked up.
09:42It's okay. You should probably go.
09:45I've already said some stupid shit I can't take back.
09:48Oh. Okay.
09:54But I can't just leave you here feeling who knows what kind of way.
09:58I'll be fine.
09:59No. You were just trying to help.
10:02I should apologize. I never apologize.
10:06What can I do?
10:09Maybe another kiss?