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00:00Kenny wasn't like the other kids. TV mattered nothing else did. Girl said yes
00:12but he said no. Now he's got his own game show.
00:20I think you all know the opening. There's rules. Quizmaster 72. It's a night. Ken! I don't think I'm going to say his last name. Ken!
00:43Thank you. Thanks.
00:47How you guys doing? Fine.
00:50Quick, here's a remote control trivia question. Does that stupid baby crawl counterclockwise or clockwise?
00:56Susanna Hawks.
00:59Let's meet our contestants. Jason over here.
01:04Jason is originally from Honolulu, right? Yeah.
01:08Which that's in Texas, right? Mississippi. Mississippi. Honolulu, Mississippi.
01:12Right. Gina is in the middle.
01:15Gina is a student. On the end is Jim. Jim is also a student.
01:19Hey, wish him luck, huh? Come on, wish him luck.
01:26Alright, here we go.
01:29Rules time. Questions. Answers.
01:33Hit your little buzzers. Use your little remote controls.
01:36Pump your little arms in the air. Act like you're having fun.
01:39And everyone goes home happy. Alright, Gina, you're in control.
01:42I will take channel number four.
01:48Playhouse Internacional. Spanning the globe to bring you the worst in television acting.
01:53Listen and guess what TV show are two theatrical gratitos.
01:58Oh, I performed.
02:01Oh, la, la.
02:04Oh, frere Jacques.
02:07Me taste la grande boulette.
02:11Eat it.
02:17Oh.
02:20Stifle, n'est pas?
02:23Gina. All in the family. All in the family.
02:26Right, ten points.
02:29Yeah.
02:31Would you care to attend the theater again, Gina?
02:34Oh, yes, let's stick with this channel, please.
03:00Jim, the Flintstones.
03:02Alright.
03:11Go ahead, Jim.
03:13Okay, let's take it around to channel number nine.
03:16Channel nine, prime time, five points. Here we go.
03:18On what Fox series would you find a group of pubescent-looking cops working undercover?
03:2421 Jump Street.
03:26Yes, in a high school. Five points for 21 Jump Street.
03:30Jason.
03:31I'd like to stay with channel nine, Ken.
03:33Okay, staying with prime time. This time it's for ten points.
03:36In a day since his role in Roots, what actor is now the blind engineer of the Enterprise in Star Trek?
03:41Gina.
03:42LeVar Burton.
03:43LeVar Burton, right.
03:46Oh, he's blind.
03:48Is that why he wears those stupid sunglasses?
03:50Yeah, they let him see.
03:53Technology.
03:54I was wondering why.
03:55It's amazing.
03:56What would make someone wear those stupid sunglasses?
03:58Okay, go ahead, Gina.
04:00Get me out of prime time. Let's go to channel number one.
04:03Channel one, cartoons.
04:07A little more up your alley, Gina?
04:09Okay, let's check it out. Five points.
04:11The Beatles had a cartoon, so did the Jackson Five, and so did what batch of toothy Mormons from Utah?
04:18The Osmonds.
04:19The Osmonds, right. Five points.
04:22Toothy Mormons.
04:24Let's go to channel number eight, please.
04:27Popping around, Beverly Hillbillies.
04:29Channel eight, we have for you today behind channel eight.
04:32Five points.
04:33Granny thought that Navy frogman Mark Templeton is half man, half what?
04:38That is Gina.
04:39Frog.
04:40You got it, frog.
04:41Out of here. Out of here.
04:43I want channel one back, please.
04:45Okay, back to cartoons.
04:46Ooh, a woman who knows what she wants.
04:48Ten points.
04:49Humble, lovable, shoeshine boy would gulp down his super energy pill, Jim?
04:54And become underdog?
04:55Underdog, right.
04:56Become what?
04:57A little canine hero. Ten points.
05:03What are you guys doing?
05:05That was the Jim cheer.
05:06What are you doing?
05:07See babies do that.
05:08What is that?
05:09A baby dance.
05:10A baby dance.
05:11Why didn't I know that?
05:12Okay, Jim, go ahead.
05:13I got to see that again, and if we stick with one, maybe we will.
05:17Ooh, let's check it out. Fifteen points.
05:19The other ghosts all hated Casper because he was such...
05:22A friendly ghost.
05:23No, he was such a wuss.
05:25But who was the goody two-shoes witch he hung, Jim?
05:28Wendy.
05:29Wendy, right. He hung around with her. Fifteen points.
05:35Go ahead, Jim.
05:36I was entertained.
05:37Let's go down to number two.
05:39Channel two, the laughing guy.
05:43You know, things have changed here on Remote Control.
05:47Flip has got his voice back, and now he thinks he's Rich Little.
05:51All you've got to do is listen to his impression, if you can,
05:55and guess what he's doing.
05:57Um, how many times do I have to tell you,
06:01well, I don't really think you should be in the show, Apple.
06:07Oh, Fred Mertz around?
06:11Jason.
06:12I love Lucy.
06:13Yes, you're right. Ten points.
06:14You're right. Ten points.
06:18Flip, that was stupid. Flat out stupid.
06:23Yeah, it was stupid. You're right.
06:24It was intelligent.
06:25It was intelligent. It was good.
06:27How could you say that was intelligent?
06:29Yeah, what's the matter with you?
06:30I don't know.
06:32What do you want to do, Jason?
06:33Uh, I really don't like this laughing guy.
06:35I'd like to go back to channel eight.
06:40Flip, told ya. Told ya.
06:42Yeah, he hates me.
06:44He's right.
06:45What'd you say, Jim?
06:46Channel eight, I said, Ken.
06:47Channel eight, okay, Beverly Hillbillies. Ten points.
06:53Jim.
06:54Jethro Bodine.
06:55Right, and Mr. Drysdale Banks.
06:58Ten points.
06:59Yeah, that was great.
07:00Very good, Jim. Go ahead, you're in the lead with 50.
07:02It reminds me of my roots.
07:03Uh, let's go to channel seven.
07:05You know the Hillbillies, do you?
07:07Okay, channel seven, here we go, Mod TV, five points.
07:12When the Hillbillies launched a phony presidential campaign,
07:14their candidate lost.
07:16Hey, who won?
07:17Jim.
07:18Uh, Nixon.
07:19Yes, Richard Nixon won that year.
07:22And so did Denny McClain.
07:24Didn't he win 31 games in 68, Denny McClain,
07:26and then went to prison for gambling?
07:28Go ahead, Jim.
07:29That was straining, but let's stay with Mod TV, number seven.
07:33What did he mean?
07:35You're questioning my reference, Jim?
07:37No, it was straining remembering Nixon.
07:39Oh.
07:40Oh, I see what you mean.
07:42Ten points.
07:43Before she was TV's hippest cop on Get Christy Love,
07:45Teresa Graves was a go-go girl on what 60s comedy show?
07:48Jim.
07:49Laughing.
07:50You got it. Ten points, very good.
07:5265, Tina's got 25, Jason 20.
07:55Go ahead, Jim.
07:56Oh, Annie dear.
07:57Oh, yeah, Ma.
07:58Can you come up here and loofah my celluloid?
08:03Loofah?
08:04I hardly know her.
08:06Okay, baboon.
08:08Snack break.
08:09While you guys are snacking away today on tacos and stuff,
08:12let's check the scores.
08:16It goes to playoffs, international.
08:18You see the connection.
08:19Jim, 65.
08:20Tina, 25.
08:21Jason, 20.
08:22Round two's coming up.
08:23The winner gets this.
08:25This Kodafone model 2670 answering system
08:28actually tells you the time and day of each message.
08:31From Kodafone, a pioneer in telecommunications for over 30 years.
08:36It's a collection of island CDs with the latest hits
08:38from such artists as U2 and Tone Loke.
08:41Bushnell Science Series Telescope.
08:43Educational products with self-teaching illustrated manuals.
08:46Explore the universe from cells to stars
08:48and discover the mysteries of life from Bushnell.
08:52The acclaimed Grand Slam, a Nintendo system.
08:54The acclaimed wireless remote controller.
08:56The hot new Othello game and other acclaimed blockbusters.
08:58Acclaim, the masters of the game.
09:00And remote control continues.
09:05Look out.
09:07There.
09:10No.
09:16The Week in Rock.
09:17First on the scene with the news you need to know.
09:20This week, we'll have a killer conversation with Jerry Lee Lewis,
09:24a look at the current wave of crackdowns on Deadheads,
09:27and a continental visit with The Cure.
09:30Definitive. Forward. Out front.
09:32The Week in Rock, Friday, 7.30 p.m., 6.30 central.
09:35Saturday, 6 p.m., 5 central.
09:37Sunday, 1 p.m., 12 central.
09:39And 9 p.m., 8 central on MTV.
09:43This edition of Remote Control is brought to you by Coors Light.
09:50Jack is dead, my friend.
09:52You can call me Joker.
09:56What are you?
09:58I'm Batman.
10:02Where does he get those wonderful toys?
10:09Wait till they get a load of me.
10:11Only one will claim the night.
10:14Rated PG-13.
10:16Now playing.
10:20Fuss with shampoo and conditioner?
10:22Who needs it?
10:24I want to wash my hair and go.
10:26And now I can with Pert Plus.
10:29Complete shampoo plus complete conditioner in one bottle.
10:33Pert Plus leaves my hair clean, conditioned and looking terrific.
10:37Before, to get results this good, I used shampoo and conditioner.
10:41No more.
10:43Now, with Pert Plus, I just wash and go.
10:46Pert Plus. Shampoo plus complete conditioner in one.
10:52If you like having your life well-defined,
10:56it's the right beer now.
10:58if you think that beer made in the Rockies sounds better than beer made in cities.
11:03It's the right beer now.
11:05Because when the game's this close, you don't want to drop the ball.
11:08So send in the silver bullet, the one that won't slow you down.
11:12Coors Light.
11:16Yeah, it's the right beer now.
11:19There they go again.
11:21And now Coca-Cola Classic wants you to get us Ghost, too.
11:25They want you to become a Ghostbuster.
11:27They say you could win the Ghostbusters to Ectomobile.
11:31Just grab an entry form where Coca-Cola Classic is sold.
11:34We dare you to send it in.
11:37So become a Ghostbuster.
11:40See if we care.
11:43Welcome back to the only game show that's on top of old Smokey.
11:48Remote control.
11:50That is so true.
11:52All right, round deuce.
11:54Same deal, points for double.
11:55Watch out for off the air, et cetera, et cetera.
11:57In the lead is Jim with 65, Gina got 25, Jason 20.
12:01I think I've said that like eight times.
12:03I don't know.
12:04I don't know.
12:05I don't know.
12:06I don't know.
12:07I don't know.
12:08I don't know.
12:09I don't know.
12:10I don't know.
12:11I don't know.
12:12I don't know.
12:13I don't know.
12:14I think I've said that like eight times in the past five minutes.
12:15Jim, you're in the lead, babe.
12:16Go ahead, man.
12:17Okay, let's start it out number five.
12:20General five, Elvis.
12:22Here we go.
12:24Which of these babes never dated Elvis?
12:27Natalie Wood and Margaret, Cybil Shepherd or Angie Dickinson?
12:30Jason.
12:32Cybil Shepherd.
12:33No.
12:35Gina.
12:36Natalie Wood.
12:37No.
12:38Jim.
12:39Angie Dickinson.
12:40Ten points, babe.
12:43That's right, Angie Dickinson never dated Elvis.
12:47Never dated.
12:48Never dated.
12:49Little red buttons for you.
12:51Go ahead, Jim.
12:52Let's move away from that.
12:53Let's go to number four.
12:55Channel four.
12:56Cheers.
12:57Here we go.
12:58Ten points.
12:59Coach is gone now.
13:00What character took his place at the bar?
13:01Jason.
13:02Woody.
13:03You got it.
13:04Ten points.
13:05Go ahead, Jason.
13:06Stay with channel four, Ken.
13:07Okay, cheers.
13:08Here we go.
13:09What character took his place at the bar?
13:10Jason.
13:11Woody.
13:12You got it.
13:13Ten points.
13:14What character took his place at the bar?
13:15Jason.
13:16Woody.
13:17You got it.
13:18Ten points.
13:19What character took his place at the bar?
13:20Jason.
13:21Nightcore.
13:22Got it.
13:23Twenty points.
13:24Go ahead, Jason.
13:25We're staying with cheers.
13:26Let's finish that out.
13:27Okay, thirty points now.
13:28What was Sam's baseball nickname?
13:29Jim.
13:30Mayday Malone.
13:31You got it.
13:32Thirty points.
13:33Go ahead, Jim.
13:34You're in the lead.
13:35One of five still.
13:36Okay, let's move on down the dial to number three.
13:37Channel three.
13:38Ten points.
13:39He pulled down his pants and put his backfield in motion for all of us to see.
13:42Name this Chicago Bear quarterback.
13:44Jason.
13:45Jim McMahon.
13:46Got it.
13:47Ten points.
13:48Remember, he mooned the press during one of the practices, and everyone had a good laugh,
13:53including me.
13:54I like poor sports.
13:55Okay, twenty points.
13:56Here we go.
13:57In the ultimate display of poor sportsmanship, Bobby Allison and Cale Yarborough once duped
14:00it out.
14:01In what professional sport do they compete?
14:02Jason.
14:03Stock car racing.
14:04No, it is not.
14:07No.
14:08Jim.
14:09Indianapolis car racing.
14:12Yes, we'll take that.
14:14They do.
14:15Twenty points.
14:16They don't race stock cars.
14:18Twenty points.
14:19No, stock cars are like, you know, it's Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday, funny, you know.
14:25Jim, go ahead.
14:26Okay, let's slop on over to number two.
14:28Channel two.
14:29Sing Along with Colin.
14:34All right.
14:36I've been waiting for this.
14:37Twenty points.
14:38Sing the next line of this Guns N' Roses hit.
14:44Welcome to the jungle.
14:46We got fun and games.
14:48We got everything you want, honey, we know the names.
14:52We are the people that can find whatever you may need.
14:57If you got the money, honey, we got your disease in the jungle.
15:04Jason.
15:05Welcome to the jungle.
15:07Yeah, twenty points.
15:10Colin, were you doing Duff?
15:13Yeah, that was Duff.
15:14That was Duff.
15:15Yeah, I thought that was Duff.
15:16Go ahead, Jason.
15:17I'd love to stay with Colin there.
15:20Okay, thirty points.
15:21Sing...
15:22You said what?
15:23He said love to and then Mark goes, oh.
15:26Mark, shut up.
15:27Okay, thirty points.
15:30Sing the last line to this Bob Dylan classic.
15:35One, two, three.
15:37Well, I stole you when you're walking on the street.
15:42I stole you when you're trying to keep your seat.
15:46I stole you when you're walking on the floor.
15:52I stole you when you're walking to the door.
15:57But I would not feel so all alone.
16:03That is Jason.
16:05Everybody must get stoned.
16:08Yeah, thirty points.
16:11Very good.
16:13All right, Jason, right back in it.
16:15Go ahead.
16:16All right, let's go with channel number eight.
16:18Channel number eight.
16:19Channel eight.
16:20I couldn't hear you.
16:21Colin was hacking.
16:22Okay.
16:23Odd couple, ten points.
16:24Here we go.
16:26Who did he end up dating?
16:27Jim.
16:28His secretary.
16:30Yes, yes, he did.
16:32Lost his secretary.
16:33Right, he dated his secretary and he dated his ex-wife.
16:36Ten points.
16:37Very good, Jim.
16:38Okay, let's stick with the odd couple, number eight.
16:41Okay, staying with eight.
16:42This is for twenty points.
16:43Which of the odd couple's poker playing buddies
16:45had a nickname that could be defined as rate of velocity?
16:48Jason.
16:49Speed.
16:50Yes, yes.
16:52Very good, twenty points.
16:55Well, I really don't like the odd couple.
16:57Let's go to channel number one.
16:59I hear you.
17:00Two men sleeping together in one room.
17:02I know what you're saying.
17:03Channel one, movies.
17:04Ten points.
17:05Linda Kozlowski wears a bathing suit
17:07that lets her hiney stick out.
17:10Jim.
17:11Crocodile Dundee 2.
17:12Right.
17:13Paul Hogan plays lovable Ozzie in the Outback
17:15in which movie?
17:16One and two.
17:18Now, you know who else co-starred in that movie, don't you?
17:21Colin Quinn.
17:23Yeah.
17:29As a matter of fact, the next one's called
17:31The Return of Quinn, isn't it?
17:32Crocodile Dundee, The Return of Quinn.
17:34Another $400 I'll get for that.
17:35Yeah, right.
17:36Go ahead, Jim.
17:39I'd like to go to number eight and close out the odd couple.
17:42Okay, odd couple, thirty points.
17:43Oscar Madison was a sports writer on The Odd Couple.
17:45For what newspaper did he write?
17:48Jason.
17:49The New York Daily News.
17:50No.
17:51Jim.
17:52The New York Tribune.
17:53No.
17:54Gina.
17:55Not even touching it.
17:56Okay, yeah, because you're a girl.
17:57Is that what you mean?
17:58Yes.
17:59Okay, The New York Herald.
18:00No, no, Ken, I'm a woman.
18:02Ooh.
18:12We're going to get lots of angry letters now.
18:14Yeah.
18:15You know, you're right, you're right, you're right.
18:17You are a woman.
18:18You're right.
18:19And I ought to know.
18:20Okay.
18:21Jim.
18:23Let's go back to channel number one.
18:25I think she hates me now.
18:27Okay, twenty points.
18:28Here we go.
18:29In what recent gore fest did Eric Stoltz suffer from Brundle's Accelerated Growth Syndrome?
18:34Jim.
18:35Mask.
18:36No.
18:40Sorry for laughing at you, Jim, but I can't help it.
18:42No.
18:43Jason.
18:44Hellraiser 2.
18:45No.
18:46Gina.
18:47The Fly 2.
18:48He's in Fly 2.
18:50Okay, go ahead, Jim.
18:52Oh.
18:56Gina.
18:57Gina, you and your womanly body are about to go through the wall.
19:15Here we go.
19:16It's time to play Think Real Fast.
19:17It's our lightning round.
19:19Ten points each, thirty seconds.
19:20Time once again to play Who's the Bald Guy?
19:23It's real simple.
19:24I'll name a famous balding TV character.
19:25You tell me what show he was a part of.
19:27For example, if I said Frank Cannon, obviously you'd say Cannon.
19:32Thanks, Carl.
19:33All right, here we go.
19:34Thirty seconds.
19:35Give me a clock.
19:36Sherman Potter.
19:37Jim.
19:38Mash.
19:39Yes.
19:40Wilhelm Klink.
19:41Jim.
19:42Hogan's Heroes.
19:43Yes.
19:44The Chief.
19:45Jim.
19:46Barney Miller.
19:47No.
19:48Get smart.
19:49Dick Loudon.
19:50Jason.
19:51Newhart.
19:52Yes.
19:53Willard Scott.
19:54Jim.
19:55Today Show.
19:56Yes.
19:57Uncle Fester.
19:58Jason.
19:59Adam's Family.
20:00Yes.
20:01Kai Chang Cain.
20:02Nobody knows.
20:03Gunsmoke.
20:04No.
20:05Jason.
20:06Kung Fu.
20:07The Coneheads.
20:08No, it's over.
20:09Jim, you did it.
20:10One seventy-five.
20:11Jason, nice game, buddy.
20:12Very nice game.
20:13But every winner, there's a loser.
20:15And back as you are.
20:16Okay, Jim, you're headed towards that big old bed and hopefully a good quantity of this
20:17stuff.
20:18Sherwood's 25 watt AMFM car stereo cassette receiver features Dolby DNC, Automatic Music
20:19Search and Seek, 18 preset separate bass and treble, an LCD digital readout.
20:20My performance now from Sherwood.
20:21Get dialed in on a Lotus Explorer 18 speed mountain bike for the excellent outdoor adventure.
20:22It's the awesome state of Arizona.
20:23It's a great ride.
20:24What a ride.
20:25It's a great ride.
20:26It's a great ride.
20:27It's a great ride.
20:28It's a great ride.
20:29It's a great ride.
20:30Jim, you're headed towards that big old bed and hopefully a good quantity of this stuff.
20:31Sherwood's 25 watt AMFM car stereo cassette receiver features Dolby DMC, Automatic Music
20:32Seek 18 preset separate bass and treble and LCD digital readout live performance
20:37sound from Sherwood. Get dialed in on a Lotus Explorer 18 speed mountain bike
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21:13The hottest concert tour of the summer. It's the Club MTV concert tour live.
21:20Live performances and great moves from Paula Abdul, Tone Loke, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
21:25Milli Vanilli, Was Not Was and Information Society. Throngs of people dancing non-stop
21:30along with downtown Julie Brown. Check concert listings and tune in the club
21:33every day at 5 4 central to see when the action hits your town so you can buy
21:37your ticket. Hey movie moguls you see these guys they're Hollywood extras and
21:43they never party with anything less than the full-tailed taste of extra gold. Now
21:47you could win a trip to Hollywood to be an extra in a commercial with me. Come on
21:51I'll show you. You guys too. Anyway here's where you enter at your favorite
21:57tavern and maybe I'll see you in Hollywood huh. Hey! You guys off the clock?
22:04Here goes Senator, Friends, Romans, Countrymen. Yeah! I love poker parties.
22:10Mel Gibson. I'm surprised you haven't heard about me. You know I got a bad reputation and
22:14sometimes I just go nuts like now. Now we're cooking. Danny Glover. I have to
22:19live with that. Lethal Weapon 2. Rated R. Starts Friday July 7th.
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22:33can agree on because fresh breath speaks for itself. Serts and sugar-free Serts with Retson.
22:41Hi I'm Red Perry from Kilo Radio in Colorado. You know the Vietnam War era
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23:11Join in. Start a love dream. Maybe I'll be there to shake your hand. Maybe I'll be there to share the land.
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24:11All right. Congratulations Jimbo. You're in the old bed. Hi. Strapped in.
24:19Looking up at the nine screens. Yeah, your life couldn't be any better.
24:23You got 30 seconds. You get all nine right. This is yours.
24:27Listen up dude. If you want to be cool. You should drive a Mitsubishi Mirage to school.
24:31It's an awesome value with a sporty new form and it's roomy enough to fit half your door.
24:36For a suitable car you will never find. So if it's not a Mirage you better change your mind. Word.
24:42All right Jim. It's not a bad little gift. Here you go. Nine screens. Here's your peak.
24:48Good luck. On your mark. Get set. Go.
24:53One Bruce Springsteen. Two Madonna. Three Peter Gabriel. Four Pass. Five Pass.
25:00Six Paul Abdul. Seven Pass. Eight The Cult. Nine Suzanne Vega. Four Tin Machine.
25:08Four David Bowie. Five Pass. Seven Julian Lennox. Five The Police.
25:17Yes. He won a car. He won. Look at him. He won a car.
25:26He won a car. And a solo flex. And a guitar. And a bike. And a car stereo.
25:32And a video game package. And a telescope. And CDs. And a Kodafone.
25:37Unbelievable. Do you have a driver's license? I got one. I got one.
25:42He needed a new car. Isn't life funny? That's Remote Control. Bye bye.
25:48All contestants receive L.A. Gear. Fashion that functions. High style athletic footwear.
25:53High performance too. Perfect for all your moves. L.A. Gear.
25:57Take control of your life with Unic Multibrand Remote Control.
26:00It operates most brands of TVs, VCRs and cable converters.
26:03From the company that invented the remote control. Venus.
26:06The Remote Control board game is here from Pressman.
26:09Losing contestants take home from the Goomy Guys.
26:12Goomy friendship bracelets featuring their brand new super colorful Ova Ovas and fashionable woven leather bracelets.
26:17Goomies, get them.
26:22Promotional considerations provided by Merle Harmon's Fan Fair.
26:25Featuring replica and authentic team apparel with over 100 locations and shopping malls nationwide.
26:30Merle Harmon's Fan Fair is a sports fans gift shop.
26:33Street neat leather wayfair sunglasses by Ray-Ban.
26:36Elegant and boss leather that's right in step with today's fashion.
26:39Wayfair, the world's finest sunglasses from Bausch & Lohm.
26:42Starburst Fruit Juice. Tangy fruit taste, big fruit kick.
26:45Starburst starts up the juice.
27:06I'm out of here.
27:09I'm leaving.
27:12I will come back for the juice.
27:19I'm out of here.