Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 4 Episode 17 Superstar
Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 4 Episode 17 Superstar
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TVTranscript
00:00me okay jonathan you want to point that somewhere else you all think i'm an idiot
00:05a short idiot faith switched i mean she had some device she switched our bodies
00:12hi baby you miss me i did actually i love you
00:25you slept with her
00:27i was created to kill to extinguish life wherever i find it tell us what to do
00:36uh
00:52ruffy another one
00:56where's the other one scampered like a big bumpy bunny in there
01:26i don't care if it is an orgy of death there's still such a thing as a napkin
01:35nest no biggie i bet i could do it i mean i know i could take at least two
01:39yes and then we could run for help while the other three suck your heart out through your neck
01:44you're right it's too many for just us you know who we need
01:56hi
02:00we have a problem
02:06sounds like you could use my help
02:13so
02:43so
03:14uh
03:22the quickdraw is about more than speed it's also about pointing a stake the right way
03:28and there can be splinter issues it is a true test of dexterity you open this
03:35no i tear it and it gets all sloshy
03:38oh thanks for doing this jonathan i wouldn't ask hey don't worry about it
03:46nest full of vampires you come get me okay box full of puppies that's more of a judgment call
03:54hit me you got me it was very punchy watch out for southpaw's buff don't let him surprise you
04:05i've had a reference to any rituals seems more like a
04:10family meal if you will and they say no one needs that the tv on anymore
04:16thanks rupert well it's good to know we're not walking into the unholy feast of something or
04:20other oh jonathan i'm in schematics for the crypt part of the original plan for the cemetery
04:30sometimes there's a oh no back way in just the one entrance well maybe we could make it work for
04:38us we could stake out the entrance you know uh maybe use a decoy lure them out or i bet
04:48there i can get in that way oh of course why didn't i think of that i'm sure you would have
04:56oh i think we have a plan
05:01buffy you go in first let him get a look at his slayer
05:06zander and the nimzowich defense let's see if i remember
05:15mate and four you almost got me that time rupert
05:20zander willow and anya you back up buffy i'll be the surprise guest
05:26everyone let's show these fiends that they came to the wrong town
05:49he's getting away
06:06i should have gotten that one you got two of them and that second one was ready for you
06:12you should feel pretty good but i let one get by me don't worry
06:16it not only matters that you do your best
06:22but that's just it i don't think it was my best hey jonathan over here quick photo please
06:32okay guys that's enough i think we did great we knocked them dead which they already were
06:40we knocked them deader they weren't very well organized if they had all rushed at
06:45buffy they could have killed her right away thanks anya that won't keep me awake all night
06:50vampires only form nests to make hunting easier they're not big on the cooperation
06:56they mostly like to hang out all creepy and alone in the shadows don't you agree spike
07:02well well the man himself
07:16what are you doing here i live here
07:20it wasn't exactly partying for a noisy visit from wonder jonathan and his fluffy battle kit
07:27yeah you think that when all the time you spend not being able to bite people
07:31careful he's still pretty dangerous yeah back off betty it's buffy you big bleached
07:42stupid guy spike you're the worst type of scum the second you're back to your old tricks well
07:53let's just say before you even sniff out your first victim you'll be pretty indistinguishable
07:58from what should we say instant soup x
08:08next thing i know this crazed vamp is like running right at me and i know that if it
08:14gets past me there's no telling who's in danger next come on you have fun admit it live in the
08:22scooby life i was going for a kind of stove bravery but yeah and it was exciting with the
08:30ceiling coming in and everything oh that's a cute one and buffy she was okay oh she's great
08:43that was the sound uh the crossbow vampire dusting i mean she was a little cranky that
08:50she was that one vamp well i i kind of meant personally and that that whole thing with faith
08:55that pretty much freaked me out and i was just sensing it from a distance oh yeah i know she's
09:02not over the whole riley sleeping with faith thing you know what i mean faith's insides and
09:08muffy's outsides when her insides were out i hope they'll be okay i'm sure it'll blow over
09:18they're probably all with the smoochies right now
09:23you must be feeling better yeah yeah yeah a lot stronger i mean no jonathan but
09:34doing okay are you and you're not what
09:42eating the initiative's technicolor food of strongness
09:46no they uh they swear they stopped treating the food but i'm not taking the chance you know i uh
09:54i don't know if that means i'll get weaker or dumber or smarter they're not big with the
10:01disclosure huh they still haven't released a full profile on adam and we're having zero
10:06luck tracking him i just you know what
10:10you know what
10:13they just put a little trust in me i know i could get the job done i felt that way my entire life
10:40i think i could do that i guess it takes different muscles than demon beheading
10:48you just need a few pointers
10:56now if slang was a competitive sport then i'd have a chance
11:00yeah we could have figure staking and speed staking i uh sorry this just isn't my game
11:11i gotta it's all faith's fault she's like poison no worse she's like acid that eats through
11:27everything maybe she's a bomb the point is everything was going along great with riley
11:36and then she comes along and messes everything up buffy you know what i think i don't think
11:44this is about you being angry with faith i think you're angry with riley hi could you please
11:52sure i mean you have this amazing connection with him thank you and then at the one moment
11:59when it matters the most he looks into your eyes and he doesn't even see that it's not you looking
12:05back at him
12:13there's no way he could know i mean you don't just look at someone and say hey that's so
12:19look at someone and say hey that's not your body get out of that body with your hands up
12:25i know you know that but you have to believe it buffy if there's any part of you that's
12:31blaming riley for what happened it seems like there's a part of you that needs to forgive him
12:38you're jonathan levinson oh my god oh my god my name is karen and i think you're
12:46you're wonderful oh my god hi karen thank you oh is that my book well
12:53i could yeah please i didn't want to bother you it's karen with a k
13:07thank you so much thanks sure
13:11okay so what do you think buffy i mean if i'm wrong smack me
13:18karen with a kale and you book and it's pretty heavy
13:25maybe i have been blaming him but how do i get past it
13:32what if it's too late but what if after all this he doesn't want me anymore
13:36he does it's not going to be easy buffy but you guys are very special together
13:43that's worth a little hard work
13:48but i'm not even sure if i know how to talk to him anymore
13:54how do i make it okay again if you really want it you can make anything happen
14:01for those of you who don't already know my name is colonel george haddelland
14:09i'm commanding officer here until such time as the facility review is completed
14:15this review does not mean our primary mission is changed in any way recovery of the hostel
14:22known as adam is our first and most important job to this end
14:30i've asked our tactical consultant here to address us today mr levinson
14:42thank you colonel it's about time we brought out the big guns
14:45men before we can locate adam we need to understand him better and there's something
14:56that's bothered me almost from the start he doesn't eat we've known him to kill
15:04but never to eat the kill so i pulled some of professor walsh's original design schematics
15:11and i found something his power source is not biological at all it's here the design
15:20attempts to hide it but i believe that there's a small reservoir of uranium 235
15:27sir how long will it last essentially forever it also means that cutting off his head is useless
15:35killing adam means annihilating him completely but first we have to find him
15:45where are you jonathan are you like never home
16:05uh
16:19i'm terrible she's ready to forget it you better be ready too i don't know jonathan i mean
16:28i don't know if she'll really ever forget it every time i try to touch her she's scared
16:36scared of me scared of what you're thinking about what do you mean she knows that faith is
16:44experienced what are you saying experienced
16:49experienced god does she think that what that i'd be comparing
16:58she knows she's the one i care about have you let her know that i think i
17:05haven't i she has to know people can't always see what's right in front of them
17:20so
17:39last night with me you said jonathan it was a moan fine you moaned jonathan
17:49he's like ah maybe it was ah nathan still not fluffing up the old ego
17:59quite the couple aren't they you get into a fistfight i got a 50 on on you i wonder if he'll
18:05make it
18:24good evening everyone i'd like to dedicate this song to some friends of mine
18:29a very special couple who've been going through a tough time
18:36when i hear that serenading blue
18:43i'm somewhere in another world
18:48alone with you sharing all the joy as we used to know
18:56oh
19:13just like the theme of some forgotten melody
19:19me
19:21in the album of my memory
19:37yesterday a small cafe a crowded floor
19:43and as we danced the night away i hear you say forever more and then the song became a sigh
19:54forever more became goodbye
20:05tell me darling is there still a smile
20:10i want you to know do we have to have to talk no talk more dance i just want to say i'm sorry
20:21but it's only you that i want i know
20:27i know all of that you do
20:32since what
20:33since you put your arms around me
20:40okay
20:55oh my god he's gonna do something off new album
21:10xander yeah let's go have sex now yeah okay
21:40oh what is it are you okay
21:49karen that's your name isn't it i i signed my book for you
21:56tell me what hurt you karen i can help
22:01let's get you warmed up
22:03what's going on why are you here mr levington someone on your staff reported a disturbance
22:12when i realized it was on your property i thought i better come down in person
22:16that's all right sergeant i have it under control of course sir glad to see you all right
22:24karen i know you're scared but i need to hear your description again
22:30it was ugly big ugly all bent over sort of with these huge arms and like scabs and stuff
22:42i must have been very frightening i'm so sorry oh oh i forgot it had a mark a mark
22:49on its forehead like a symbol
23:05hello this is a clue jonathan i've heard of this it's not a demon just a monster
23:14not much more than an animal sticks to the woods doesn't come near populated areas
23:20but it did this time it might again maybe we should patrol if you want me to mobilize the
23:25squad actually i think karen simply startled it probably more afraid of you than you were of it
23:31i'll patrol but you don't need to worry about it i can handle it on my own
23:35now let's see about getting karen a ride home
23:55i wish you'd get rid of that body smells making me hungry you wouldn't want it and have a blood
24:01disease you didn't know it but it would have been dead within the year
24:07humans sense so little of what they carry inside oh all right well you're the evil messiah guy so
24:16oh hey there's something new in town yeah attacked a girl causing a little fuss oh he was there
24:25huh
24:29jonathan jonathan tell me who is he oh you're joking right jonathan is jonathan look
24:44these are lies none of this is real the world has been changed it's intriguing but it's wrong
24:55it feels okay to me you're under his spell just like the others i seem to be the only one who's
25:03not really what makes you so special i'm aware i know every molecule of myself and everything
25:12around me no one no human no demon has ever been as awake and alive as i am
25:20i'm you're all just shadows
25:29so what do you what do you do now
25:35hey you could kill jonathan well or you could try the guy's like a dynamo of action
25:43i don't need to do anything these magics are unstable corrosive they will never be lead to
25:51chaos and i am interested in chaos
26:13so
26:21jonathan aren't you coming to bed
26:26yeah it's getting late
26:29be right there
26:43you're okay everyone in the bronze was pretty freaked out after you left so i guess you have
26:50to go fight this thing huh all the weapons are a child's it shouldn't take too long no go did you
26:59just go no go jonathan did he said it was some brainless beastie and then he would take care
27:05of it himself oh cool i guess i don't know he just he seemed a little scared
27:18buffy this is jonathan you know he doesn't get scared you talked about it when you
27:23gave him the class protector award at the prom you're right um
27:29um my exit willow i'll see you tomorrow
27:39okay
27:44so so you and riley good day
27:50that was a great dance
27:51for the first time i felt like faith wasn't there like no one was there but us
28:22ah
28:27so
28:45i'll play
28:56so
29:06what's going on
29:10oh my god she's gonna be okay but she's terrified
29:19what happened i did this someone found her in the janitor's closet about an hour ago
29:26i i think she was there all night she was all alone tara
29:35what did this
29:36this
29:39big lumpy and had something on its on its head like a greek letter i know it
29:54so
30:04this was it this
30:08was
30:10buffy jonathan said we were all safe jonathan said it
30:17so
30:35sandra's not here oh
30:38you're not going away why aren't you going away well i was kind of hoping to look at
30:46some of xander's stuff oh
30:52sure come on in make yourself at home and so on
31:08so
31:28oh you're still here
31:31that's nice
31:33may i ask you something
31:37does it ever seem just a little strange that jonathan is so good at everything
31:46he's jonathan
31:50hey i was just at the part where he invents the internet
31:53hey i was just at the part where he invents the internet
31:57anya he fights better than i do and i'm the slayer the slayer i mean
32:05that's supposed to mean something right oh
32:12buck up you you kill all the best go you kill kill actually not needing validation right now
32:21but thank you he just seems too perfect i don't know so i can have my book back
32:36i knew when you were a demon you granted wishes right vengeance wishes on next boyfriends
32:43i'd wish he was a dog or ugly or in love with president mckinley or something
32:49but someone could wish the whole world to be different right and that's possible sure
32:56alternate realities you could uh could have like a world without shrimp or with you know
33:03nothing but shrimp you could even make like a freaky world where jonathan's like some kind of
33:08not perfect mouth breather if that's what's blowing up your skirt these days just don't ask me to live
33:14there oh now if uh i can just have my book back you'll be on your way someplace else here
33:28i'm just saying it doesn't make any sense he started the matrix but he never left town
33:35and how did he graduate from med school he's only 18 years old effective time management
33:41uh i'm sorry buffy but i i just don't understand what you're trying to say
33:46yeah when is jonathan gonna get here and start the meeting this is the meeting this is the meeting
33:54well i was just kind of wondering if maybe anyone else thought that
34:03jonathan was kind of too perfect
34:06perfect no he's not he's just perfect enough he crushed the bones of the master he blew up a big
34:16steak made out of mare and he coached the u.s women's soccer team to a stunning world cup victory
34:21we saw him doing those things that's just it i'm not entirely sure that we can trust our memories
34:30Anya tell them about the alternate universes oh okay um say you really like shrimp a lot
34:37or we could say you don't like shrimp at all blah i wish there weren't any shrimp
34:41you'd say to yourself stop you're saying it wrong
34:47i think that jonathan may be doing something so that he's manipulating the world and
34:53and we're all like his pawns or brawns
34:59stop with the shrimp i am trying to do something here of course but um
35:06i think you may be a little out of your depth i'm not it sounds like nonsense
35:12but i'm starting to know this girl pretty well and i think she sees
35:22things that the rest of us don't i think for once we should follow her lead
35:36okay
35:36okay
35:40i think jonathan might be ignoring evidence
35:45i think he might have let tarry get hurt on purpose no
35:51no how did he ignore evidence the monster had a mark on it jonathan saw it and he kind of
36:02blinked he blinked the man moistens his eyeballs and we're having a meeting about it
36:10he knows something about the monster he was reacting to the mark oh wait i remember something
36:17giles do you have a jonathan's swimsuit calendar no
36:24yes it was a gift
36:32okay
36:36no no
36:42no
36:47there oh yeah pretty darn lickable the other kind of oh that's it that's what terror saw
36:58why would jonathan have the same mark as the monster
37:02i don't know but he's definitely keeping is this a private conversation or can mr july sit in
37:11jonathan hi buffy was just saying how you had a monster cut up willow's friend and
37:19buffy
37:22no
37:28no
37:30it's just the mark you said it was safe and it wasn't
37:41i'm sorry i just don't understand
37:48then i'll explain
37:48him
37:55buffy is right
38:01no i do have a history with the creature the monster the problem is every time i face it
38:09my mind becomes sort of confused there's some kind of power it possesses oh oh he's like your
38:17kryptonite maybe i just know that it takes all my energy to try and fight the confusion
38:26that's why i had his mark tattooed on me so that i wouldn't underestimate it next time
38:34this does explain everything i knew he wouldn't do anything on purpose
38:38me too and that whole alternate universe thing was too freaky
38:43okay jonathan let's go after the monster right now you and me
38:50i'm sure it's left town right now that's in its pattern we can try
38:57sure let's do that
39:01bye
39:16oh look jonathan
39:22taking a little side kick out for a walk are we shut up spike semi-harsh language from betty
39:31you'll fight stay winning the big guy standing beside you
39:38someday sweet slayer i would love to take you on see you face the evil alone for once
39:50shh that's enough of the creepy small talk we're looking for a monster why would i know about that
40:02every demon in this town's gunning for you right now so i figure you're probably keeping
40:05pretty good track of them big arms mark on a ted have you seen it no but then again i'm probably
40:15lying we're not getting anything out of him
40:28what are you doing you're not supposed to do that you're pretty much relying on butcher's
40:33blood these days right spike what are you saying just that the butchers in this town
40:39respect jonathan they do him a favor and you might find yourself getting kind of thirsty
40:56look i don't know much okay
40:59some vampires got kicked out of a cave in the hills behind brookside park
41:03i don't know what did the kicking out but it was probably pretty big
41:12that was very good
41:15very good
41:19these spells these really work i mean can you really turn your enemies inside out or
41:28learn to excrete gold coins that was not so much fun they work really but they take
41:34concentration being attuned with the forces of the universe right you can't just go
41:42libram incendiary and expect
41:49sound i don't speak latin in front of the books
41:52hey i found the mark it's part of an augmentation spell jonathan did an augmentation spell
42:03what um did he have uh you know him and how we see him this spell turns the sorcerer into a
42:12sort of paragon the best of everything everyone's ideal
42:17best of everything everyone's ideal but there's a drawback a drawback that happens a lot
42:27in order to balance the new force of good the spell has to create the opposing force of evil
42:32first of everything everyone's nightmare he created the monster
42:37so we're saying he did a spell just to make us think he was cool
42:42oh yes that is so cool giles buffy and jonathan are going after this nightmare thing
42:51are they going to be okay it seems that the well-being of this creature is linked to jonathan
42:57it dies the spell is broken jonathan reverts to whatever he was before
43:05jonathan isn't going to want buffy to get very far
43:12so
43:29wow fall down there and be dead for a while yeah
43:38don't want that to happen
43:42so
43:49come on we've got a monster
44:02buffy was right
44:04it doesn't sound very likely does it so if this is the world he created what's the real world like
44:10i'm scared everything's gonna change well actually it'll remain pretty much the same except
44:19jonathan won't be jonathan well not out of jonathan anyway no no no world without sunshine
44:27no no no world without sunshine world without joy but wait it only changes back if buffy
44:36kills this thing i mean if she loses then we could be stuck in this wrong world forever
44:42things looking up i mean we're all happy here right you know if she doesn't get killed
44:49and charles can buffy do it i don't honestly don't know she's never stood alone against
44:58something like this before
45:12so
45:24you'll know you used to and the more you hurt it the more i'll lose my what lose you
45:42uh
45:49i remember this this is good
46:12so
46:19oh
46:41i can't believe we believed it seems so real well in that world it was real
46:48alternate realities are neat you know what i'll always remember
46:53well the swimsuit calendar sticking in my mind
46:57not in a good way i'll always remember the way he made me feel about me
47:04valued and respected sort of tingly you know i'm just
47:09just empty poor xander i guess jonathan hurt you most of all um except of course after tara
47:22did anyone else feel way too tall i felt way too tall i liked his clothes
47:29he had really cool clothes i still don't understand how he got the house and everything
47:35and who really did star in the matrix wait that wasn't real either
47:42i i wasn't sure you'd come over everyone's mostly forgetting but
47:50i think some people are kind of angry yeah nobody's even talking to me
47:58and the twins moved out why did you do it anyway no i get why how after the thing with the bell
48:10tower and the gun i went to counseling you know other kids with problems and one of them had this
48:18spell he glossed right over the monster well anyway i just i just wanted to apologize
48:29yeah nobody was supposed to get hurt jonathan you get why everyone is angry though right
48:35it's not just the monster people didn't like being the little actors in your sock puppet theater
48:43you weren't you weren't socks we were friends jonathan you can't keep trying to make
48:52everything work out with some big gesture all at once things are complicated they take time and
49:01work yeah right
49:11hey buffy you remember i gave you some advice watch out for southpaws no uh about you and riley
49:21i mean things are kind of starting to blur but this cool thing i said um that i don't really
49:29remember i think it's right i think it's kind of the same thing you just said to me
49:42about things taking work
49:44work yeah i remember good because it's true
49:55what you have is really complicated but it's worth it
50:03i think that's what i said
50:14so
50:25i'm glad we talked this all out
50:30we haven't talked at all
50:34oh well whatever we're doing we're doing it great
50:44um
50:48jonathan
51:14Grr, argh!