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00:00ISP
00:03Pressure them, friends, this couple is going to Pakistan.
00:08Pressure them, friends, this couple is going to India.
00:13This couple is going to Pakistan.
00:16Because the heartthrob bride will take them.
00:19Oh, you are the one with the money?
00:21Heartthrob bride will take them?
00:23If there were heartthrobs, we'll have to say that we are heartthrobs,
00:27Dulaniya dekh ke jayenge
00:32Arey yeh doli Pakistan jayegi
00:35Kyunke humari yahan chaar ki ijazat hai aur waise hi aaj kal shortage chal rahi hai
00:38Pir bhi yeh doli India ki hai, India mein rahegi
00:41Yeh doli Pakistan jayegi
00:57Yeh doli Pakistan jayegi
01:06Jo mar gaya, samjhud dar gaya
01:11Aap dono mujhe paana chahate ho
01:13Haan haan main main
01:14Meri arthi uthana chahate ho
01:17I mean meri doli uthana chahate ho
01:19Haan haan main main
01:21Let's play best of five
01:23Meri is gun mein paanch goliyan hai
01:28Aur in goliyon ko main tum dono pe barsaungi
01:33Jo mar jayega, wo mujhe le jayega
01:37I mean meri doli ko le jayega
01:39Aur jo di jayega
01:41Wo meri kaamwali bai, Shanta bai ko le jayega
01:48Raju bhai, ek kaam karte hain
01:51Doli aap le jaye
01:52Leke jao
01:53Aap leke jao
01:54Leke jao
01:55Raju bhai, aap le jao
01:56Kyuki hum to India Pakistan comedy ke maha sangram ka kap leke jayenge
02:00Kap leke jayenge?
02:01Pata hai uske liye aapko hasana padega
02:04Arrey hum to poore India ko hasaenge
02:06Kyuki main apne saath poori saina laaya hu
02:09Aur mere saath hai Imran aur Shakeel Siddiqi
02:13Acha?
02:14Humara jo yodha hai, do hapte se dand pel raha hai
02:17Abhi bhi usne khaya hai ek darjan kela
02:19Wo hai India ka albela
02:22Acha?
02:27Lekin Raju bhai, ye baat yaad rakhe
02:29Ke kap hum leke jayenge
02:31Kyuki hum aapko hasana ke liye aa rahe hain
02:34Aslam aur Shakeel Siddiqi
02:37Acha?
02:38Bas, bas, bas, khatam ho gaya hai
02:41Haan? Kya khatam ho gaya hai?
02:42Ek baat samjh mein nahi aate hai Raju bhai
02:44Ye jitne bhi comedians hain, ye aate hi naachna shuru kar rahe hain
02:46Aisa lagta hai, har comedians ke andar ek tawaif kiraya pe rahe rahe rahe hai
02:52Ye achha hai, burre waqt ke liye, tum kotha-kotha bhi khol sakte ho
02:57Judhava hai
02:58Haan?
02:59Ye dhol bhi judhava hai, ye bhi judhava hai
03:03Ye kitna kaala hai yaar, ye toh peth bharke kaala hai
03:06Beech mein kaala dekha, kaala-kaala
03:08Ye inhone moom aa raha hai yahaan pe
03:11Yaar itni, itni, itni buraiyaan kar rahe ho
03:13Aap in dono ki itni buraiyaan kar rahe ho
03:15Tumne kya bhen ka rishta dena hai?
03:18Is baat pe kitna khush hua hai
03:22Pakistan ki taraf se Raju bhai, pure Hindustan ko Assalam-o-Alaikum
03:26Dosto, main hun Aslam Imran, meri pehchaan Pyara Pakistan
03:29Aur pure Pakistan ki taraf se, Raju ji aap toh hain mahaan
03:34Raju ji mahaan, aur Rakhi ji hain sabki jaan
03:43Main Bombay ghoomne aaya
03:44Phir?
03:45Main ghoomne aaya, mera saath tension hi tension
03:47Kya ho gaya?
03:48Main Bombay ghoomta raha, ghoomta raha, ghoomta raha, mujhe bhoog lag gayi
03:50Acha?
03:51Main chala gaya ek hotel mein
03:52Phir?
03:53Main ne kaha, ek koi achi cheez liyaar, khaane ke liye
03:54Haan?
03:55Bakre ka zubaan la ke rakh diya
03:57Main ne kaha, yeh kya kari, yeh hi zubaan hai, yeh hi aadmi ko achcha karti, yeh hi bura karati hai
04:01Sahi?
04:02Main ne kaha, bhai main moon se nikri bhi cheez nahi khaata
04:04Phir?
04:05Udha, wo le gaya
04:07Acha?
04:11Main ne kaha, bhai le jao, yeh dono ka bill le lo, main ne khaane hi nahi hai
04:14Phir kahaan gaye?
04:15Tum toh kahe kar gaye the, mujhe se ke main doctor ke paas jaa raho
04:17Dawaai laaye?
04:18Main doctor ke paas gaya, main doctor ke paas gaya
04:19Main doctor sahab kya haale?
04:20Bhole, theek hai
04:21Main kaha, doctor sahab, mera ilaaj karte
04:22Bhole, kya problem kya hai?
04:23Main kaha, mere hain bache nahi hote hain
04:24Acha?
04:25Aur meri bibi bhi nahi hai
04:30Isme doctor kya karega?
04:32Ilaaj kare?
04:33Kya ilaaj kare?
04:34Bibi de
04:37Bibi kisi medicine ka naam hai, kya de dega utha ke?
04:39Bhai, doctor ka kaam ilaaj karna, bhai kare bhai
04:41Main nahi haan tha, bas
04:43Chhoda isko, doosre doctor ke paas jao
04:45Main gaya tha, doosre doctor ke paas bhi
04:46Phir kya hua?
04:47Main wahan gaya, main kaha, doctor sahab, tabiyat sahi nahi hai
04:49Kehne yeh do tablet lo, yeh khaake shanti ke saath sojana
04:52Aram aaya?
04:53Abe na shanti mili, na aram aaya
04:56Kya samjh rahe ho tum, shanti, aram ko kehte hain?
04:59Phir main ek aur doctor ke paas gaya
05:00Main kaha, doctor sahab, bukhaar hai
05:01Usne mixture bana ke diya
05:02Kehne yeh lo, do chamcha suba, do dupahar, do shaam
05:06Main kaha, rak bhai, mera paas itne chamcha hi nahi hai
05:12Very good, very good
05:14Bewaqoof aadmi
05:15Bewaqoof nahi hu, zaheen, aqalmand aadmi hu
05:18Aqalmandi ka kabhi muzaharah kiya?
05:19Parso kiya
05:20Kya?
05:21Lungi pehne ke saar ke bal khada ho gaya
05:28Zaheen aadmi ho tum?
05:29Baahus zaheen
05:30Main sabalat karunga apne jawab dene
05:31Main toh badon-badon ko jawab
05:32Main kahl apne baap ko jawab de diya tha
05:34Kya?
05:35Mera baap ne kaha, paani pila
05:36Main kaha, uthke pi, tere baap ka na karunga
05:44Yaar, general knowledge ke sawal
05:46Jo main karunga uska jawab dene
05:47Haan, dedunga
05:48Ghor se sunna sawal
05:49Do kabootar aasman pe uld rahe hain?
05:51Phir?
05:52Isme he kaunsa hai, she kaunsa hai, batao?
05:54Nar kaun hai, maada kaun hai?
05:55Aabey, paagal
05:56Jo uld rahe hain, vo nyaar hai
05:57Jo uld rahe hain, maada hi hai
06:01Very good
06:02Ab mera agla sawal hai
06:03Ishaara karunga main
06:04Karo
06:05Aur tumne batana yeh kya cheez hai
06:06Haan, bata doon
06:07Pehla ishaara, ghor se dekhiye ka
06:11Scooter
06:12Kaunsi?
06:13Yeh nahi bata
06:14Theek hai, doosra ishaara dekhiye ka
06:19Car, car
06:20Car toh hai kaunsi?
06:21Pakistan ki, Japan ki, China ki, Bharat ki
06:23Yeh nahi bata bhai
06:24Teesra ishaara, final, dekhiye ka
06:26Bata, bata
06:27Hawaii yaar
06:28Kaunsa?
06:29PIA ka, Air Asia ka, Bharat ka, Airline ka
06:31Mere ek ishaara ka jawab deh
06:33Hmm
06:34Yeh kaun hai?
06:38Dubhara karo, dubhara karo
06:41Very simple
06:42Aurat
06:43Hai toh aurat, teri maa hai, phuppo hai, tai hai, khaala hai, kaun hai?
06:53Chalo mujhe yaqeen aa gaya, aapko zaheen aadmi hai
06:55Bahut zaheen hu
06:56Bahut zaheen hai, aap Amerika chale jaye
06:57Paedal
07:00Bahut paedal nahi, jahaz mein jaate hain
07:01Bhaiya, crash ho rahe hain aaj kal
07:02Toh?
07:04Mujhe marne se darn lagta hai, main jahaz mein nahi baitha
07:06Kaisa paagal aadmi ho?
07:08Marne se darte ho tu?
07:09Arre, maut ka toh ek din mukarrar hai
07:11Jis din, jis aadmi ki maut ne aana hai, us din wo zarur aayegi
07:13Acha, jis din meri aana hi hogi, aaj aayegi?
07:15Haan?
07:16Meri na aayi, pilot ke aagayi phir?
07:25Aap mein jahaz mein baithna bhi nahi aata yaar
07:27Kabhi nahi baithe?
07:28Ek tabha baith gaya, announcement shuru ho gayi
07:29Kya?
07:30Ladies and gentlemen, aapne apne belt baand lein
07:32Toh?
07:33Maine shalwar pehni bhi thi
07:36Maine kaha, main kya baand hoon?
07:38Phir?
07:39Maine button dabaya, air hostess aagayi
07:40Aagayi?
07:41Keh rahi, jee, main kaha jee
07:42Keh rahi, aapne button dabaya, main aagayi
07:44Main kaha, button dabaya se aayati hain?
07:45Bele, haan
07:46Main kaha, yeh button ghar pe lagwa la
07:47Ghar pe?
07:50Aur main toh jahaz mein isli nahi baithta hoon
07:52Jab se trade center mein ghusa, main bahut dharta hoon
07:54Kyun bhai?
07:55Kyun bhai bataao, trade center mein jahaz ghusa
07:57Haan, America mein?
07:58Kithe log maa mare?
08:00Takreban 4-5000
08:01Allah na kar yeh waqia, Pakistan mein, Karachi mein hota
08:03Haan
08:04Allah na kar yeh mumkhaak
08:05Haan
08:06Kithe log shaheed hote?
08:074-5000 kamas kam
08:08Abe chal be, sirf 2
08:10Abe 2 kyun?
08:11Abe wahan itni jaldi, subah kaam pe kaun jaata hai
08:16Yeh pushkabari sunao?
08:17Kya?
08:18Medi shadi ho rahi hai
08:19Nahi yaar
08:20Agle hafte
08:21Waqhi?
08:22Haan
08:23Doola main banua
08:25Bhai yeh nahi hota yaar
08:26Acha aisa nahi hota hai?
08:27Nahi kehte, log yaar meri baat time nahi, zara wo kaam karke aaja tu yaar
08:29Isme nahi hota hai?
08:30Abe yeh koi kaam thodi hai, zimmedaari hai yeh
08:31Acha, jiski hote, wohi fasta hai?
08:32Haan
08:33Maine toh ideal bana rakha hai apna
08:34Kise smart, dubli, patli ladki toh shadi karunga
08:36Haida
08:37Kyun?
08:38Ladki ka anjaam ek hi hai
08:39Kya?
08:40Kitti patli, dubli, smart ho
08:41Chaar bachchon, yehi aurtein adrak ho jaati hai
08:47Peepa
08:48Adnan Sami
08:50Jis sofa pe baithti hai
08:52Sofa do min baad kehta hai
08:53Behen uth jao, humne bhi saans lena hai
08:57Jis bistar pe laithti hai na
08:58Sobha uthti hai
08:59Bistar, dusre bistar pe aaraam karne chala jaata hai
09:02Ki yaar, main bhi thakan uthaar loon
09:03Nathu
09:04Suroon mein nakhra hote hain, ladkiyon ke
09:05Haan
09:06You know?
09:07Main slimming centre jaati hoon na
09:08Juice pike guzara karte hoon
09:12Chaar bachche hoon, aawaaz badle jaati hai
09:14Aa gaye Nafoor ki abba
09:17Lagta hai, katta bhaans ko bula raha hain
09:23Aur ladkiyon ke bhi ideal hote hain
09:24Haan, yehi to baad hai yaar
09:25Har ladki ne ideal bana rakha hai apna
09:26Filmy hero
09:27Filmy hero
09:28Hai Allah mujhe Shahrukh Khan jaisa mil jaye
09:31Yeh Bhagwan mujhe Hrithik Roshan jaisa mil jaye
09:33Ya Allah mujhe Salman Khan jaisa mil jaye
09:36Aakhar mein wohi phuppi ka beta
09:38Kallu, Phatu, Nathu
09:43Ushi ki tang dabar, yehi mera Shahrukh hai
09:46Shahrukh leta, uski aankhen nahi mil rahi hain
09:49Salman Khan leta, paan ki peek jaari hai
09:52Hrithik Roshan leta, ek phaatak band
09:55Mese yeh baat hai
09:56Is wajah se tum shaadi nahi kar raha hai?
09:57Nahi
09:58Kyun nahi karte hoon shaadi?
09:59Main nahi karte hain, suna bachche ho jaate hain
10:02Shaadi ka baad bachche hoga, aur kya pineapple hoga?
10:04Main toh maasom hai, toh samajhta hoon
10:05Fridge kholunga, kisne bachche rakha hoga, lulunga
10:07Dekho, har mard shaadi karte hain
10:09Main nahi karte hain bhai
10:10Tum bhi karlo yaar
10:11Nahi bhai, shakt bohot karte hain aurte
10:12Beeviyan?
10:13Main ek dos hai, uski beevi, uski patni itni shakki hai
10:16Woh ghar aaya, beevi ne pusha, kahaan se aare ho?
10:18Keh rahe hai, juha khel ke, sharab peeke, gun shun ke
10:21Keh rahe hai, jhoot bol le, kahi aur se aare ho?
10:24Pati apna gardan kaad ke de de
10:26Beevi kahe ki, aay, sahi nahi kaada, wahaan se kaadte
10:30Hamare prados mein raha hai, abrar sahab
10:32Accha?
10:33Woh jab bhi ghar aaya, unki beeviyon ka coat check de
10:34Baal kaan se aaya hai, tum toh takle ho
10:37Do din pehle aaya hai na abrar sahab
10:38Haan
10:39Baal nahi mila
10:40Very good, khush ho gayi unke
10:41Miya khush keh lag, aaj shakt nahi karegi
10:42Beevi kya keh rahi hai?
10:43Kya?
10:44Tum itni hi ghir gayo, ab takli aurton se bhi milne lagayo
10:50Waise yaar, tuhari baat se bhai sochta ho, agar waqe ladkiyan takli ho jayenge kaisi lagengi?
10:54Mujhe toh ultiyan lag jayenge bhai
10:56Suraj ki roshni padh rahi ho, takle fan pe
10:58Log keh rahi hanga boss
11:00Sar udhar karo, chamak padh rahi hai bhai
11:03Tuhare shahar mein lagega, balabh ushal hai, dabadab, dabadab
11:06Jume nakle ke lag rahi, thandi sadaq pe hawa khaane nakli bhi hai
11:09Thank you very much
11:11Thank you very much
11:13Thank you
11:14Bahut shukriya
11:20Bekha Raju bhai aapne
11:23Hamare Pakistan ke Aslam Imran aur Shakeel Siddiqui ki jodi
11:27Abhi aaya kaha hai?
11:30Wo jiske paas hai comedy ka rela
11:34Abhi aayega India ka albela
11:37Aap toh points dijiye
11:40Chalein points de hi dete hain
11:43Poore 10 me se 9
11:49Main aap dono ko deti hu 10 me se 10
11:55Main Kashif se ek tafa kar karo
11:5710 me se 9
12:01Kya baat hai
12:03Thank you ji, thank you
12:04Thank you very much
12:14Aaj se 2 hapte baad hoga
12:16Indo-Pak comedy ka maha sangram ka grand finale
12:21Ab tak Pakistani team ko mile hai 28 points
12:25Kya India ka albela mukabla kar paayega?
12:30Kya Imran aur Shakeel ko takkar de paayega?
12:34Dekhte hain mukabla zari hai
12:38Aawaz deta hu India ke albela ko
12:41Ek baar phir pranam Bharat
12:47Salaam Pakistan
12:50Inhe hata dijiye Raju ji
12:53Mujhe inhe dekh ki apni patni ki yaad aati
12:59Bachche se teacher ne pooch liya
13:02Beta batao tumhare pitaji ko 2 lakh rupe 2% interest par 2 mahine ke liye deta hu
13:082 mahine baad kitne rupee lotayenge?
13:11Bachcha bula je ek paisa bhi nahi lotayenge
13:14Bole tu hisaab nahi jaanta
13:16Bola mai hisaab jaanta aur mere baap ko nahi jaante
13:20Master ji ne pooch hai ek baad batao
13:24Ye chooze ande me se baahar kaise nikal aate hain?
13:29Bachcha bula baad mein bataunga pehle yeh batao yeh ghus kaise jaate hain?
13:33Abhi chhote pehle baad chal rahi hai ki Kashif bhai, Raju bhai baat kar rahi hai
13:36Kashif bhai bol rahi hai yaar bhiya Raju bhai bahut pareshan hu yaar
13:39Yaar meri patni aisi hai aisi hai
13:41Ke sabji kharidne jaati hai
13:44To aise mol bhaav karte hai aise sona kharid rahi ho
13:48Raju bhai bole bhiya meri problem to aur bhi badi hai
13:51Mere wali to sona bhi aise kharid rahi hai aise sabji kharid rahi hai
13:58Meri wife ki bhi ek aadat hai, Kashif bhai ki wo anglesi bolne ki try karte hai
14:02Try karte rehti hai, jaisi bolte hai, basi bolte hai
14:04Main ne samjhaya ek din ek party mein jaare the
14:06Main ne kaha dekh milna milna na
14:08Kisne milna ho to bolna bhi yeh meri husband hai, main inki wife hu
14:12Pariche dena
14:14Usne bola wohi yeh meri hand pump hai, main inki pipe hu
14:22Ek baar main meri service mein permanent ho gaya
14:25To main khushi di yeh usko, dekh main permanent ho gaya hu
14:28Usne pore milna mein laddoo bant diye
14:31Mere husband pregnant ho gaye hai
14:36Main ek baar bimaar pad gaya
14:38To aamare parosiye ne usse pucha
14:40Ke bhi ab walwela ji ki tibit kaise hai
14:42To kehna yeh chahati thi ke pehle se kuch theek hai
14:45Kaha anglesi mein, something is better than nothing
14:51Ek din usse boli chalo chalo, Shyamlal ki welding mein jayenge
14:55Arre main ne kaha welding nahi hoti, welding hoti hai
14:58Bole welding hi hai, doosri baat ho rahi hai
15:05Main ne usse samjhaya, jab tujhe anglesi bolni nahi aati
15:07Bolni nahi aati, toh toh try kyu koti hai, kyu anglesi baasha ka apmaan karti hai
15:10Bolti, kaha apmaan kar rahi ho, main toh apne desh ka sammaan kar rahi ho
15:14Main dekha, wo kaise hai, boli yeh desh bhakti hai
15:16Main dekha, wo kaise hai, boli tumko yaad nahi
15:18Anglezon ne 100 saal tak Hindi galat boli
15:23Kal mujhe mila, main ke chahiye, bhai aaj ke liye kya kar rahe ho
15:26Boli aaj ke liye main furniture bech raha ho
15:28Main tab toh khub kamar rahe ho, boli nahi nahi
15:30Bohot ghata ho raha hai, ghar ka hi bech raha ho
15:33Chiman bhai ke paas har cheez ka jawab hai
15:37Main ke toh se puchhe, ek baat bata, wife aur FD mein kya fark hota hai
15:41Bola, wife aur FD mein?
15:43Bola yaar, samjh mein nahi yaar, mai batata hu
15:46FD kabhi na kabhi mature hoti hai
15:48Bachche, badi haajir jawab hote hain
15:51Teacher ne puch liya, bachche se beta, batao, paida kaha huve the
15:55Bola ji, tiruvanantpuram
15:57Spelling, boli tab toh Goa mein hi hua tha
16:03Pehle bachcha bola, ek baat bata, tu apne ko bahut shana samjhta hai
16:07Bola, haan, main bahut shana hu
16:08Shana hai na, tu bata, rail gadi kaise chalti hai
16:10Bol, bol, bol, abhi bol
16:12Bola, rail gadi, upar labbe hote hain, niche chakke hote hain
16:15Chakkon se chalti hai
16:16Acha, bol, chakkon ke niche kya rehta hai?
16:18Chakkon ke niche?
16:19Patri rehti hai
16:20Acha, patri ke niche kya rehta hai?
16:22Patri ke niche, concrete rehti hai, gitti hai, gitti hai
16:24Dekhi kabhi, gitti, gitti, gitti rehti hai
16:26Acha, gitti ke niche kya rehta hai?
16:28Tu shana hai na, shana hai
16:33Acha, kya rehta hai uske niche?
16:34Uske niche, zameen rehti hai, zameen
16:36Acha, bol, zameen ke niche kya rehta hai?
16:38Zameen ke niche, zameen ke niche pataal hota hai, pataal
16:42Acha, bol, pataal ke niche kya hota hai?
16:44Pataal ke niche, bataun tere ko
16:46Abe, pataal ke niche, mera baap hota hai
16:49To apne baap ko jaa ke, bol na, itne niche kyu waitha hai?
16:55Doctor ke paas, ek mahila aayi
16:58Doctor saheb, bahut parishan ho, bahut parishan ho
17:00Ajeeb se bimari lag gayi hai mere ko, kuch karo
17:02Doctor bole, hua kya, kya takleef hai?
17:04Bole, kuch dinon se aisa ho raha hai
17:06Main koi bhi cold drink peeti hoon
17:08To pataani kahan se mere power aa jati hai
17:10Pataani mere kya ho jata hai, koi bhuj chod jata hai mere ko
17:13Aisa lagta hai, cold drink peeni ke baad
17:15Jo bhi mujhe dikhe, usko kas ke pakad lo
17:18Kaat khaun, usko kaat khaun
17:20Doctor bole, yeh to bahut buri bimari hai
17:22Pehli baar dekhi hai, kuch sochte hai?
17:25Tab tat tum ek cold drink peelo
17:28Chiman bhai charkha wala ne hotel khol diya, hotel
17:32Hotel me ek aadmi ne gaya, khana khane ke liye
17:34Ae bhai, yeh kya khana kira rahe ho aisa?
17:37Aisa khana kira rahe ho, gadhe bhi nahi kha sakte
17:39Chiman bhai ne waiter ko bola hai, waiter idhar aa
17:41Grag dekh, customer dekh kaisa aaya hai
17:44Aisa khana la jo gadhe kha sakte ho
17:49Jab meri nahi nahi shadi hui thi, ajeeb ji
17:51To main jab ghar se bahar kehi jata tha
17:53To meri wife mujhe puchti thi, kyu ji?
17:55Is laal shadi ke saath, kaunse colour ki lipstick suit karegi?
17:59Main kehta tha, gulabi laga lo
18:01Phir kuch zamana aage badha, puchti thi
18:03Kyu ji, is shadi ke saath, kaunse chappal suit karegi?
18:06Main kehta tha, bhi kaali pehen lo
18:08Aaj kal abadi ghar ki itni badh gayi hai
18:10Kahin jaana ho, to puchti thi, kyu ji?
18:13Is shadi ke saath, kaunsa bachcha suit karega?
18:20Main Surat se aaya hu, Surat ke pados mein ek gaon hai, Kim
18:24Kim mein bahot bachche hain, bahot abadi wahan ki badhi hui hai
18:27Main unse puchha, yeh itni baal bachche?
18:30Balo, sab Gujarat Mail ki kripa hai
18:32Arre, Gujarat Mail ke sair log yehi utar jaate hain kya?
18:35Utarte nahi hain, raat ko saade teen baje yahan se guzarti hai
18:40Sabki aankh khul jaati
18:42Ek baar aankh khul jaaye, to phir dheere dheere hi neend aati
18:48Aaj ke log ke paas time nahi laju bhai, bilkul time nahi hai
18:51Ek minute ka bhi time nahi hai
18:53Time jab nahi hota hai, to aadmi shortcut kaam karta hai
18:56Udharan ke liye akhbaar padhte hain, sobe sobe
18:58To phata phata padhte hain, do do news ek saath padh jaate hain
19:01Jab do samachar ek saath padhte hain, to teesra samachar kaise peda hota hai?
19:06Ke Karachi ke mashoor comedian, Kashiv bhai, comedy ka baadshah ke liye, Mumbai ravana
19:14Doosri khabar thi, Karachi ki khwateena unhe chain ki saans li
19:19Ek khabar bohot purani hai, Rajiv Gandhi humare Pradhan Mantri jo hua ke tap ki ek samachar hai
19:26Samachar tha, Bharat Pakistan samandon mein sudhaar
19:30Bharat Pakistan samandon mein sudhaar
19:33Doosra samachar tha, Benazir Bhutto phir garbhvati
19:38Main ek choti si baat keh dena chahata hu vare mann se
19:43Bharat aur Pakistan ka yeh bohot badhiya kalakar laaye hain
19:47Ek message dena chahata hu, apne mann ka
19:49Tu Pakistan hai pyare, main Hindustaan hu pyare, tu bhi pareshaan hai pyare
19:56Main bhi pareshaan hu pyare, gale lag jaa muhabbat se khuda ke waaste ab to
20:04Tu meri aarzu hai, main tera armaan hu pyare
20:11Aur aapko main points dera hu 10 me se 8
20:19Rakhi
20:20Yes, aapko main deti hu 10 me se 8
20:26Aur ab baari hai meri
20:276
20:297
20:30Arre nahi hum bhi aap se peeche nahi rahenge
20:338.5
20:34Poore 8
20:37Thank you
20:39Welcome back to Indiapark comedy ka maha sangram
20:43Yeh show dheere dheere grand finale ke aur pad raha hai
20:48Aur aaj jo takkar hai wo barabar ki hai
20:52Dono yodha akhade mein apna apna langota band rahe hain
20:58Aapko pata hai India ka alwela hai 24 points pe
21:01Aur Shakeel aur Imran hai 28 points pe
21:05Faasla sirf 4 anka hai
21:08Arre ab yeh faasla jo hai wo badta hi rahega
21:11Achha
21:12Kyunke yeh dono phir se aare hain
21:14Yeh dono phir se aare hain, alwela bhi phur se aayega
21:19Arre tayyaar ho jayiye, ek baar phir aare hain
21:21Aslam Imran aur Shakeel Siddiqui
21:25Piyush ji bahut shukriya, band kar dijiye
21:27Warna meri andar ki tawaif jaag jayegi
21:30Aur agar tawaif jaag gayi to, samjhe phir yeh kya karte hain
21:34Aur hai yaar mere saath kya hua phir
21:36Ya Allah rahim kar hai, kya ho gaya
21:37Mere saath amesha bura hota hai yaar
21:39Aaj kya hua?
21:40Main gaya bathroom
21:41Bathroom mein jaise gusa na, commode pe saab baitha hua tha
21:45Meri nazar padhi, uski nazar mujhse padhi
21:47Main nikala, pehle tu kar le bhai, main baad mein kar lo
21:51Phir main waha se nikal gaya
21:53Phir?
21:54Main aage gaya hu, main ne kya dekha
21:55Kya?
21:56Ek kutta baitha hua tha
21:57Haan
21:58Uske dum pe ek police wale ne paon rak diya
21:59Uye uye
22:00Kutta ne uchhal ke yahaan kaata hai, police wale ke
22:02Nahi yaar
22:03Vardhi ka lihaas kya se ne
22:05Yahaan kaata
22:06Sai
22:07Police wale kya kar raha?
22:08Main tujhe saath saal ke lihaan indar kar dunga
22:09Phir?
22:10Kutta haas padha
22:13Kaise kaise kaise?
22:16Shukar yaar, main ne zindagi mein ek kutta ko haaste pe dekha hai
22:18Kutta ko haaste pe dekha hai
22:22Police wale chalaya kya doctor ke baas?
22:23Haan
22:24Usne ka doctor sahab, yeh dekhna zakham padh gaya
22:26Doctor karna hai, haan bhai, zakham bahut gehra hai
22:28Yeh main, das aar padhunga, yeh zakham kaat dunga
22:31Phir?
22:32Woh kehra hai, bhai tumse achha toh kutta tha
22:33Woh toh phiri mein kaat gaya
22:34Tu das aar leka kaatne ke?
22:37Raju bhai, iske bhai bataao
22:39Bus mein baith gaya, mooli wale paratha kha ke
22:41Ach
22:4215 minute baitha hoga
22:44Conductor ki awaaz aayi
22:45Bhai, baat bahut aage tak pahunch gayi hai
22:47Khidki darwaaze khol lo
22:51Ek saath beta ho, aadmi se puchh raha
22:53Bhai, yeh 2 minute ke baad, har 2 minute ke baad
22:55Miss call tum maar rahe ho
22:58Achha, meri bata rahe ho, apni pool pati ni bata rahe
23:00Maine kya kiya hai?
23:01Tumne toh jahaaz mein zalil karaya mujhe
23:02Kya kiya?
23:03Jahaaz mein lekar aaya, main Bombay in ko apne saath bitha kar
23:05Yeh jahaaz mein bete bete
23:06JC jahaaz ne start liya hai
23:07Pilot ke paas le gaya hai
23:08Kehna gaya, bhaijaan
23:09Aage traffic jam hoga, piche wali gali se chalo
23:15Train mein beta ho, dabhe mein
23:16Moon nikal ke, pichle dabhe wali se kehna hai
23:18Hum se aage nikal ke dekhao
23:23Itna paagal aadmi hai, itna paagal aadmi hai
23:25Footpath pe jaha raha tha, achanak kutte ki tasvir nazara hi
23:28Utha ke ghar le gaya
23:29Ammi ko bola hai, yeh lo mummy, abbu ka ID card
23:35Apna nahi bata raha hai
23:36Dadi bimaar hogi bechari ki
23:38Doctor ke baas le gaya
23:39Woh kehna hai bhai, inka test hoga
23:41Kehna hai, yaar badi bhuri hai, inka one day kara lo
23:46Aisa zalil hai, doosar doctor ke baas le gaya
23:49Hum se kehna hai, dekhna hai doctor sahab
23:51Humne dekha, kehna hai, umar zyada ho gaye
23:52Inko khush rakha karo
23:53Pagal ke shadi karadi dadi ki
23:57Matlab, shadi karadi toh kya ho gaya?
23:59Aabe toh bhugatna toh mere dada ko padhana hai
24:04Aisa zalil hai, bakri le ke bus me chadne laga
24:07Logon ne manay kiya, nahi maana
24:09Logon ne maarne shuru kar diya
24:10Main kaha, tu bhi maar
24:11Kehna hai, yaar main bhi inko maarta
24:12Garh mera saath ladies nahi hoti
24:16Aisa zalil hai, raat ke teen bijay uthke gaya
24:18Kabardustan mein
24:19Aur kehna hai, bhai samal ke sona
24:21Aaj kal choriyan bahut ho rahi hai
24:24Tui toh hamdardi hai, information nahi tu mein
24:26Hamdardi kaha hai ki, aisa zalil aadmi hai
24:28Bhains khadhi ho thi, idha udha dekhna na
24:30Bhains ki pappi le li
24:32Bas kar do yaar, battameez hi nahi kar raha tum
24:34Battameez toh main paidaisi hoon
24:35Paidaisi, battameez?
24:36Main paida hua hoon
24:37Haan
24:38Abba ghar pe aaye
24:39Phir?
24:40Mujhe dekh ke amma se kehna le gaye
24:41Kya?
24:43Amma kehna le ki bhai
24:44Ho gayi, maaf kar do
24:46Abba main toh itna battameez hoon
24:47Kitna?
24:486 maine police mein naukri ki hai
24:52Aisa tum mujhe jaante nahi ho
24:53Haan
24:54Main film mein aata hun
24:55Acha?
24:56Haan
24:57Tu mujhe bhi nahi jaante
24:58Kaun?
24:59Main tere ghar pe aata hun, jab tu nahi hota hai
25:05Thank you very much
25:06Thank you
25:08Thank you very much
25:09Mujhe shukriya
25:19Dosto, humne in dono Pakistan ke fankaro ko standing ovation isliye diya ki
25:24Inhone aaj ke episode mein, dono entry mein, consistently, zabardast perform kiya
25:33Aur ab waqt hai, points ka
25:36Sabse pehle, Kashif bhai
25:38Bhai, aaj toh bahot maza aaya
25:40Third episode tha, Maha Sangram ka
25:43Itna achha show ye hua, itni achhi performance aapki
25:47Toh ab, main aapko bahot saare points dena chahata hun
25:52Ji, toh meri taraf se aapko, milenge 8 points
25:5910 mese 8
26:00Kya baat
26:01Lucky
26:02Main aapko, 9 dena chahati hu
26:05Thank you
26:06Thank you very much
26:08Wah, kya baat hai
26:10Points dene pe koi kanjusi nahi hogi
26:12Aur dena toh iss se bhi zyada chahiye
26:14Lekin, main dena hun
26:1610 mese 9
26:18Thank you
26:22Aur ab waqt hai, Alwela Khatri ki entry ka
26:25Alwela Khatri ko puri zor lagana hoga
26:27Puri taagat dikhana hogi, khub hasana hoga
26:29Aur teeno judges se unko hasil karne honge
26:3210, 10, 10 points
26:34Dekhna ye hai, ki kya Alwela Khatri
26:37Grand finale ke taraf aage badh pate hai
26:39Ya nahi, hamari vishesh unke saath hai
26:42Zorda taaliyon ke speech, Alwela Khatri
26:45Rakhee ji, mera maanna hai
26:47Hamare desh ki raajneeti mein, koi oonch neech nahi hai
26:51Sab neech hi neech hai
26:53Right
26:57Unchahi mein phir bhi koi alag alag ho sakte hai
26:59Lekin, neechta mein sab barabar hai
27:03Principal ne sabhi bachon ko bula ke kaha
27:06Chaar din baad exam hai
27:09Sabhi bachon ko badhiya tyari karni hai
27:11Exam dena hai, tyari ke saath aana
27:14Kisi ko koi prashan puchna ho, toh abhi puch sakte hain
27:17Ek bachha khada hua
27:18Sir, puch sakte hain ek prashan?
27:19Haan puch sakte hain
27:20Kuch bhi, bola kuch bhi
27:22Kuch bhi, bola kuch bhi
27:24Acha itna bata do, parche kaan chhap rahe hain
27:33Train mein ek aadmi, toilet jaani koshish kar raha tha
27:36Jaisi darwaza kholta
27:38Kaanch mein usko khud ki photo dikhti
27:40Mar raha raha tha
27:413-4 baach mein try kiya
27:42Ek ghande tak wo, waisa hi laga usko ki wo andar hai
27:46Toh TT ke paas gaya
27:47Sir, gazaab ho gaya yaar
27:49Ek aadmi andar ghosa hua hai
27:50Na toh andar se darwaza lagata hai
27:52Kundi khuldi hai uski
27:54Jata hu toh wo khada milte hai
27:55Na bahar nikal raha hai
27:56TT mein jhanka
27:58Usko dikhi vardhi vardhi
27:59Bole bhi, yeh sarkari aadmi hai
28:04Puraane zamani mein log kehte the
28:05Sir, pehle tolo, phir bolo
28:08Ab mein kuch bolna chahata hu
28:09Kahan tolo?
28:10Kahan hai weighing machine?
28:11Kahan tolo?
28:12Ab urte aksar kehte hai
28:13Saare marat ek jaisa hi hote hain
28:15Unko kaise pata?
28:16Unko kaise pata?
28:21Isi liye kehte hain
28:22Isi liye kehte hain
28:23Pehle tolo
28:25Phir bolo
28:28Humare ghar mein chot choti baatein hoti hain
28:30Main yaha ke liye aa raha tha
28:32Mere kameez ki button tooti hui thi
28:34Meri wife kameez ka button tankte bhi boli
28:36Mood mein
28:37Kyun ji?
28:38Hum urte nahi hoti
28:39Tumhare kapdo ke button kon lagata?
28:41Main ne ka rani
28:42Tum urte nahi hoti
28:44Tumhare kapde pehne ki jarurat hi kiya tha
28:51Point dene se pehle
28:52Main stage par bolana chahunga
28:54Pakistani Jodi ko
29:05Aur waqt hai points dene ka
29:07Lekin sochna yeh ki
29:08Kya Albela pehle ke tare dhamal macha paye hain?
29:10Kya Albela
29:12Pakistani kalakaron ko challenge de paye hain?
29:14Kya Albela
29:16Grand finale ki taraf bad paye hain?
29:18Aur ab main apne dono saathiyon se kahunga
29:20Ki points set karke mukhaute ready rakhe
29:24Hum teeno ek saath points denge
29:27One
29:28Two
29:35Three
29:43Aaj ka episode bahut hi mazdar raha
29:45Albela ko pehle round mile the 24 points
29:47Aur doosre round mile hain 18 points
29:50Toh inke total ho gaye hain 42 points
29:53Jabki humare Pakistani kalakaron ko
29:56Dono rounds me mila ke mile hain 54 points
30:13Aaj kis episode ke winner hain
30:15Shakeel aur Imran from Pakistan
30:18Inki performance thi Tagdi
30:20Inko pehna hi jayegi Pagdi